Okay, I know many of you will be disappointed, so I'll apologize now for destroying some feels , but it's time to make a couple of things clear. Please don't hate me, and I hope you'll still read the story and review even if you aren't happy with the outcome.

Chapter 37

"He's going to ask her," Fili said with a big smile. "By Durin, he's going to ask her," and they watched the couple grow smaller in the distance. "What do you think, Della?"

"She's more irreverent than I'm used to, but she's brave, loyal, and devoted to those she loves, and if she loves Kili, he'll be loved well indeed. I'll have to get used to her sense of humor though."

"Thorin?"

The King of Erebor didn't speak but kept his eyes on the pair until they disappeared from sight.

"Thorin?

After a moment he blinked, and his eyes refocused.

"Mmm? Yes, I agree. She needs to stay, aye. No matter what, she needs to stay."

"Come. This way."

Kili took my hand and laid it over his arm, and my moist palm stuck to his sleeve. Every clack of my heels against the stone floor moved me closer to the answer that would decide my future. At least part of it. I could tell that much by Della's quick inhale and Fili's excited noises. To be honest, I wanted to stay, but Feron stood in the way of an absolute yes. What I had told Thorin I would tell Kili, but it stuck in my throat, and I choked it down. Then again, perhaps Kili decided against me. He seemed willing, but I knew nothing of relationships—at least of this kind. That Feron's declaration shocked me proved I had no intuition about such things.

Kili walked me for some distance, and I heard the murmurings of respect for him as we passed and even some for me. Sky trotting ahead might have helped some in their decisions of my worthiness, but I would take it no matter where it came from. I listened for mutters of curses and comments about my blindness but didn't hear anything of the kind. Perhaps our happy rescue in the cave put those to rest temporarily. I wasn't fooled though. The scales could tip at any time against me, but on Kili's arm I moved more freely than I ever had or could at home. No guards here watching for something to report, no spying eyes around every corner. I didn't realize until father left what a burden that was, but now a burden lifted. I stood a little taller.

"Where are you taking me?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Anyway, I'm taking you somewhere that'll engage one of your senses."

"Taste?"

He laughed loud enough for it to echo down the hall.

"I should have known you'd go there. No, and not smell either. This is a different kind of park. I think you of all people will appreciate it fully."

I couldn't imagine what he meant but after several hallways and a flight of stairs, he said we had arrived. A strange sound, no, strange sounds made me lean forward and turn my ear toward the door.

"What is that?"

"I think you'll like it."

A sentry acknowledged Kili with a respectful, "My lord prince," and opened the door for us. A wall of sound hit me, and I struggled to take it in. Sky whined and pulled on the leash.

"Easy, Sky. Lie down, girl. That's it."

I patted and stroked her ears until she calmed. Drums and tinkles and ringing tones echoed off different materials to produce the most marvelous harmonics. I didn't need to close my eyes, but I did anyway and swayed to the ethereal melodies that flowed ... ah, flowed!

"Water?"

"Yes," Kili said. "Water on crystal, flowing through silver fountains, and falling on vibrating plates make the music. Thirty fountains of different sizes and shapes."

"Amazing! Lord of Silver Fountains, eh?"

"Yes," and he chuckled. "It took some time getting it cleaned and running."

"Will you describe it for me?"

"Of course. It's a black granite chamber with a vaulted ceiling carved into a cone to amplify the sound."

He went on to describe the many fountains on different levels. Lovely shapes of diamond-cut crystal threw rainbows of light on the floor. Those fountains produced the high, fluting tones. Silver bowls of different sizes and polished to the gloss of mirrors chimed the lower tones, and water pattering on various thicknesses of embossed silver sheets accounted for the sound of drums. Each station had scale versions for people to play at their leisure, and Kili said that visitors could make more music by wetting their fingers and running them around the rims of thin crystal bowls placed on lower levels.

"You mean people can walk up and make their own music? Just join in?"

"Yes, but not that everyone has an ear for it," he said. "Also, singing hasn't been allowed since Bofur came in after having a few too many pints and did a song and dance atop one of the platforms.

"What happened?"

"Bombur and Bifur hauled him off and threw him in the central drain, but that was after others with more discerning ears pelted him with the coins they meant to throw in the largest fountain. He sobered up quick enough and even made a little money. What do you think?"

What did I think? I could stay there for days and still not fathom all the layers in this ever-changing but intricate symphony. Years ago, father forbade music and loud noises at home because he said it interrupted his important thoughts. I really think he did it because I was supposed to have my first recital on the flute when I was eight. Mother was so proud of my progress and had invited friendly lords and their families. I was thrilled and practiced almost hourly in the music room for the occasion. Of course, I should have known father would never have allowed it to happen. Still, I was crushed when he cancelled my performance and made over the music room as an extra book room for himself. Then came his edict. Furious, I disobeyed it with pleasure and followed him around just out of sight and blew on blades of grass between my thumbs, something Tildur had taught me. Father sent his minions out day after day with orders to shoot the squawking bird on sight. He didn't think much that month. One of my happier memories.

"This is one of favorite places already. I might never leave."

"It is for many," Kili said. "Thorin's too in fact. It's his favorite public room. After we completed work on the main infrastructure, Thorin ordered the music park set to rights. He said it was important for our people to have lives worth living and not just places to live."

"He told me he played the harp."

"That's true. He used to play for us when we were young. He tried to teach us, but too often we neglected to practice. To tell the truth we weren't interested. We were more interested in sword practice."

"I love music and played an instrument until father made me stop, but this is beyond anything I've ever heard. You were fortunate to grow up with music."

"Thorin still plays for us from time to time. He can never turn Frerin down."

"Few can. I was surprised when he told me."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I thought only court ladies played something so delicate."

"Don't let Thorin hear you say that. He loves his harp, and he's more skilled than anyone I know. Sometimes, I think he forgets he has an audience when he plays because he closes his eyes."

"He doesn't have to look?"

"No, he closes his eyes and plays what he feels. It's like he speaks through the harp. It's something to hear."

My throat tightened. I'd never heard a more beautiful description of music. I saw that for Thorin, his eyes closed and away in his mind someplace peaceful and untouched by war and calamity. What a comfort in troubled times, and he had more than most.

"He doesn't play as much as he used to though," Kili said. "Let's go this way. Perhaps now that he reclaimed Erebor he doesn't feel the need."

We walked through the sound for it was all around us, and then something occurred to me.

"Where is everyone?"

"I had the chamber cleared so we could talk. Let's sit over here." He led me to a bench and I sat on my sweaty palms. We made small talk for a minute or two, but I sensed anxiety rising—at least mine. We chatted without direction before he took a deep breath and turned to me.

"Areen, over these past weeks I've come to feel very strongly toward you. You've been wonderful and kind enough to overlook my behavior at first. That you weren't interested in marriage either also appealed to me after I got over my resentment. Too many want the connection but not me for myself. I love your spirit and compassionate heart. I love you. You feel like kin already, and I'm not the only one to think so. I know Feron's here to take you away, but I want you to stay to stay, to stay for me. I want that with all my heart, and I hope you do too. Forgive me for coming right to the point. Perhaps I should have impressed you with poetry or flowery words first, but I think I understand you well enough now to know you'd be embarrassed."

"True. Thank you."

"So, I want you to stay, despite all that's happened. I feel terrible about all you've been through, and I understand if you want to leave after being attacked by orcs and buried alive, but I hope you can look past that."

I couldn't help it and snorted before giggling outright. It was Kili through and through to say something like that. We laughed together and I pulled my hands out from under my thighs. How could anyone not love Kili?

"Why aren't you married, Kili? With so many to choose from, there must have been someone who caught your eye? I can't tell how many live here, but with all the noise I'm guessing thousands. I know we talked about this before, but really, wasn't there anyone?"

If I thought I'd given him pause, I was wrong. He answered without hesitation, his voice low and thoughtful.

"Hundreds, aye, but not one for me. Don't think Uncle and Fili didn't try though. Mahal, Fili set up so many 'chance encounters' that I couldn't go anywhere without a father and daughter waiting for me around every corner."

I heard him run at least one hand through his hair. I'd never encountered a situation like his. Since father never took any interest in my welfare, I was freed from such machinations until he packed me off to Erebor, but to face fawning fathers and daughters for days on end would tax anyone's patience.

"It was funny and harmless for the first week or so," he said, "but they grew more persistent and my patience ran out after the time I had come out of a long meeting on trade negotiations, and I needed to take care of personal business, if you take my meaning. I was stopped so many times I grew quite uncomfortable and had to run and hide in various spots until I could get to the loo."

"Did you make it there?"

"Barely," he said with a chuckle, "and I think I knocked down a few poor dwarves in my haste. Another time I was sick and heading for the infirmary but was intercepted time and again. I was in a foul mood that day, and my manners weren't the best."

"So what happened?"

"I lost a full supper on the new, jewel-studded shoes of the lady waiting outside the infirmary with her father. Not on purpose, of course, but after that Uncle and Fili left me alone for a time. Then they started inviting outsiders."

"Like me."

He took my hand and squeezed it.

"Like you, but you belong here. Like you were meant to be here, and I want you to stay." He scoffed then and made a sound of disgust. "I can't believe I shared those stories now of all times."

A series of self-deprecating mutters followed until I put my hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze.

"It's all right. Thorin said your mother died soon after coming and then Fili married Della. Those must have been lonely times."

"I don't deny it. I'm surprised he shared about mother though. Thorin usually keeps everything close to the chest."

Not with me, I thought, not after all we'd gone through, but there wasn't any point in mentioning that now.

"So what do you say?" he asked. He took my hand and kissed it. "Will you stay for me?"

"Is this a formal proposal?"

"It is. Mahal, I'm not doing this well, am I? I should have prepared something after all, but I want you to have no doubts. I love you, Areen. I understand your struggle, but I wanted to speak my piece before Feron is cleared. I know he's a lifelong friend and that you probably feel beholden to him in many ways. He's impressive, I admit, but he can't offer you the life I can. If you're not ready to answer, I can wait, but I want you to know my mind."

"Kili, forgive me. I can't answer until I speak to Feron. I owe him that, but what about the others? Are they in favor? I don't want them unhappy about this."

"They're thrilled, each and every one. Don't worry about them, and perhaps this will help you make your decision."

He leaned closer and cupped my face with his hands, rubbing one cheek with his thumb.

"May I kiss you?"

I nodded, and he closed the distance. Warm, firm lips touched mine, but after only a second he pushed me away. No, we pushed each other away. My hand touched my lips, and I almost wiped them off but remembered my manners as the last second. I slid back on my side of the bench and heard him sliding back on his. After shocked gasps from both of us, we talked over each other in our confusion and embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry," I said, "did I …?"

"No! No," he said, "forgive me. I …"

I didn't know the look on his face, but I knew the look on mine. Shock and repulsion.

"Kili? What happened I don't understand."

"Nor I. Mahal, it was wonderful, should have been wonderful at any rate."

"What happened then?"

He didn't answer. We sat there saying nothing, my nervous excitement turned to nausea, and neither of us understanding what had happened. I floundered, wringing my hands and fidgeting. I worried I'd offended him. I had no experience in kissing, but I felt it too. Something was wrong like we broke some law of nature. My chin quivered, and my eyes smarted with tears of mortification.

"Kili?"

"Give me a minute to figure it out," he said. He turned to me and put his hand on my shoulder. "But it isn't you. Mahal, I don't understand. It's like I just kissed my …." He sucked in a lungful of air, and his hand dropped from my shoulder. His breathing changed like he was trying to hold something in, but then it came, a soft chuckling that grew louder with every breath. I felt for him and elbowed him in the side.

"This isn't funny! What's going on?"

Still laughing, he took my hand and kissed it.

"I love you, Areen, and I'll take a leap and say you love me too. Like I said, you're kin, although not the kind I expected."

"What do you mean?" I tapped my fingers on my mouth, and he pulled out a cloth and wiped my lips, his amusement trailing off with noises of mirth.

"I know you wanted to," he said, his voice overflowing with merriment and affection. "Allow me."

After wiping my mouth, he took tender care in dabbing my tears away, chuckling all the while. I didn't know what the joke was, but I grew angrier by the second.

"Why are you laughing?" I slapped his hands down. He took no offense and patted my knee.

"Can you think of another kin relationship that might account for our responses?"

"What? What do you mean? Oh ..." It all made sense now. The easy camaraderie, the strong connection, the fun but harmless teasing.

"Oh, indeed." He closed my mouth with his finger and pulled me in for a cheerful hug and kiss on the top of my head.

"Are you, are you disappointed, Kili?"

"Mmm, surprised more like." His voice changed. "Are you disappointed, Areen?"

"No, I guess not, not if things can stay the same between us, but this changes my being here, doesn't it?"

He made an urgent noise and pushed closer. They wouldn't want me to stay. Not after this. I would leave with Feron as soon as he was ready, and a whimper escaped before I could catch it.

"Don't cry, Areen, don't cry. I won't take back what I said. Somehow you belong here, like you're meant to be here for some reason. Mahal, I don't understand it myself, but I know it's true, and I want you stay."

"But there's no reason to now."

"If you leave with Feron, I'll understand, but if you want to stay we'll find a way. I promise you we will. You can be our cultural ambassador from the Grey Mountains if nothing else."

With mutual snorts, we collapsed against each other and laughed the weirdness away.

"That might work if we had any culture to speak of!"

After our laughter died out, I hugged him around the waist and laid my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead. I did love him. I loved him very much. No matter what happened, I would always love him, and he would always love me. We had found our places in each other's lives—not the ones we expected, but lifelong ones nonetheless.

"I love you, Kili."

"And I love you, Areen. So we have an understanding after all?" He nudged me and I bumped back. That felt right. Looking back on our relationship, we'd always been this way, at least when we allowed our true selves to show. Once Kili got over his anger, and I got over, well, father.

"Yes, we do," I said. "You know, now that I think on it, I don't have to leave with Feron for the Iron Hills. I can go home if need be. We all can."

His unhappy grunt told me his opinion before he opened his mouth. Of course, his opinion developed from father's behavior and my misery, so he naturally wouldn't approve.

"We don't want you going back."

"We?"

He removed his arm from around my waist and turned me to face him.

"Thorin told us, me and Fili, that is, what happened to your arm, and what happened to your mother."

Breath hissed between my teeth at the memory, and tears returned to my eyes.

"Areen, Areen, hear me out. It'll only get worse if you go home. Now that you know, there's nothing to restrain him."

"Our other honorable lords."

"They aren't enough, and they wouldn't see what goes on at home. You could marry Feron there, but how long before you and your friends are discovered doing what you've been doing? You know his secret now, and he won't let that go. You know he'll catch you out one day. It's only a matter of time."

His words depressed me, and we sat there deflated, our lovely moment punctured by father. The true curse of my life. I felt wretched and put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands while Kili rubbed my back. What to do? Perhaps leaving with Feron for the Iron Hills was the right answer after all. I didn't know, but I did know someone whose wisdom I never doubted.

"I will ask Lord Vinn for advice. I trust his counsel."

Kili sat up and slapped his knees. "We should ask Thorin too. He was so angry when you told him your story I thought he'd spit fire. He'll come up with something, but in the meantime I want you to stay. In fact, I want all your friends to stay. It's not safe for any of them to go back now. Mahal, what accident might befall you and your friends on the way home? Besides, no one's on the roads now because of the plague."

I struggled to push through my sudden depression and shake off father's taint. A soft kiss on my cheek helped, and I smiled with the slightest quivers of my lips. Scooting closer, he chafed my arms to warm me up.

"Nothing needs doing today," he said. "So is all well between us?"

"Yes, completely. Do we tell the others though?"

"Mmmm, I think it's enough to tell them we have an understanding"

"You know they're not going to take it the way we mean it."

"Do they have to?" Oh, he was an imp, but he had good cause with this one.

"Will this make up for the loo and puke incidents?"

"Among others."

"You know, I wouldn't mention those the next time you ask someone to marry you."

"I won't."

"So will they take the bait, do you think?"

"For a few days anyway."

"They only did this because they love you."

"I know, but after months of harassment, I think they can handle a few days."

"If you say so, but let's keep this in the family. I don't want to mislead my friends."

"'In the family.' That sounds right to me. Very well, but let's make it count in the meantime. You act thoughtful and fighting your growing feelings, and I'll play the determined suitor. Mahal, they might even try to help me."

"Don't you dare let them! I don't want them embarrassed!"

"You drive a hard bargain, but I agree," and with that he helped me up and took my arm with a comic flourish.

"Now, Areen, let us find our family so we can inform them of our understanding, pending your decision on Feron."

"I wish I could see the look on Thorin's face!"

"I'll be my descriptive best."

"Not too thick or they'll catch on."

"True. Shall we then?"

Doing our best to act like a couple falling in love, we glided out of the room arm in arm, stifling our laughter along the way.

So there it is. No messy triangles of competing lovers filled with angst. I hope at least everyone is satisfied that Kili's heart remains intact and that he and Areen are happy together in their own way. Please review and let me know if I pulled it off!