Chapter 37 - The Morning After Plan

After a heavy night they all slept soundly. Luna would have likely stayed awake for several reasons, but her tired eyes could take no more awakeness and she lost her fight to the sandman quickly. Most people slept in considerably. They were getting used to this life and didn't really have much to do this day as it was a Saturday and they didn't have to go to work. The gentle birdsong of early spring broke the chilly silence of winter which was slowly lifting from the land. This region was truly beautiful but in a way that communicated a great deal of brutality. The mountains and cliffs were stunning, but the sheer rock faces and waterfalls made them formidable to anyone who dared get too close. Nature was god here. Nature gave you enough to appreciate and enough to fear so as to keep you in your place. One might have assumed that due to this power dynamic that the people of the land were at peace with each other and only in a dynamic relationship with the land, but this was sadly not the case anymore. This land had remained peaceful for centuries as the native peoples fought against the harsh cold of winter, and the deadly force of the summer wildlife. But over the past two hundred years or so, the peoples across the continent had began to wander, as though unfulfilled with their share of the land. People began to share space and time with other people from far away lands and this was initially a beautiful thing. The people of this land learned some incredible skills from the people from more temperate climates, and they in turn learned of techniques passed down from generations in this land. Within a short space of time all of the knowledge in their known world was centralised and shared amongst the academics who would frequently collaborate and allow the differences between their races and life experiences to give different answers and different methods of answering. The world suddenly had range, and man's lust for knowledge was being satisfied. But with this, came man's mastery over nature. The god of the land became less formidable, and as their agricultural processes strengthened, they found that they could sustain better in the cold weather, and their new weaponry helped against the beasts of the summer. Without a centralised fear of God, man became fearless for the first time on this continent, and with this, man's lust for power dominated. Individual tensions and power struggles turned towards clan struggles, which turned towards territorial struggles, with now turned towards racial struggles. The many races of the continent were vastly different and outstanding specimens of the brilliance of evolution, but now they were faced with their greatest threat, themselves.

Rincewind and the other fellow former Gryfindoors did not know of this, nor did they know that this racial tension was leading towards suspicion directed at them. As Hogwarts was, until recently, a very inclusive school to people from all different backgrounds, there were people from various ethnicities and social backgrounds. The Gryfindoors never really gave this a second thought, but as they slept, all around Riverrun people were talking. They didn't know how to feel about these new people, but they were suspicious, and started to slowly spread the word that they had arrived. From shop to guard, to baker, to chimney sweep, to cook, word got about, and before anyone had woken up, word of this arrival had reached a shop owner in a nearby city. "Oh really?" he said to the gossiping man in his store, "did you catch where they came from?" he asked as he gave his counter a freshening morning wipe. "Apparently they're from a place called Warthogs" he said before buying some potatoes and walking out. Once he left the store, the big man behind the counter pulled out a sheet of parchment from his desk and began to write. "Those fugitives you said to look out for have arrived in Riverrun. I will try to keep them here for you. Sincerely, Belethor."

Harry groggily gaped his mouth with the hazy headache of the hangover. In an instant he suddenly remembered all of things that he couldn't and this made his head hurt considerably more. Luckily for him, his gf Ginny was nearby, in fact she was also sharing a bed with him, and she always had paracetamol in her bag because she was a massive hoarder. "Fuck me head" Harry said, holding onto his scalp for dear life, "you got something for this?", and Ginny diligently reached into her massive sack that only looked like a petite little bag and brought out a packet of Tesco's Finest Painkillers. Harry was living in the lap of luxury. As he took the pill, it restored parts of his memory that he had forgot about. He started to remember about things from the previous night. He remembered the pinball, and Percy being a cunt, and Sirius coming back, and hugging him, and he remembered playing more pinball, and Sirius saying that they would work some stuff out in the morning and he remembered Neville-" and his remembering of this event was interrupted by the shock that the event had. "Holy fuck, it cannae be true" he said randomly which made Ginny question just wtf he was smoking (other than all dat dank kush). Harry hurriedly put on his socks, then his trousers, then his vest, then his shirt, then his tie, then his jacket, then his shoes, then he rushed out of the door and down the corridoor. The speed of his magical feet was astounding even H-dawg, but he ignored the spectacle and kept going. Once he got to Neville's door he knocked on it a few times. "Neville? Are you alive?" he asked loudly to the door and also to anyone behind the door, but there was no response. He quickly went a few doors down and opened it on Ron and Hermione who were both awake and in bed, with their naughty bits covered by the covers obviously. "Shit dude," he said, "we need to go get into Neville's room", and Ron begrudglingly followed, after putting all of his clothes on, which were pretty much the same clothes that Harry put on, and then they left the room. They tried the same thing again, but no answer. "What happened anyway? Why are your knickers in such a twist?" asked Ron, trying to mentally force Harry to unknot his worried underwear. "I just remember Neville fucking off, but he said he would be back in a minute and he never came back. It's not like Neville, the most compassionate being ever to live, to spread false words such as those", Harry said as he placed his hand on his head in sheer drama. "I'll get this then" said Ron who then breathed in really hard air and bulked up, stepped back, and ran at the door. The door just gave up immediately, not wishing to fight the jolly ginger giant, and this allowed them access to Neville's room.

The room was impeckably tidy, with nary a single dust mite in the air. All of the books on the shelves were in alphabetical order, and Neville's sheets were folded. He even placed a mint on the pillow for himself to return to. Everything was perfect here, apart from that Neville was not present. "Neviiiiilllllleee" cried Ron, "where the fuck are youuuuuu?". They were aghasted by the situation and ready to give up on friendship and hope when they heard a faint voice from down the corridor. "Jesus guys, keep the racket down.". It was the voice of Neville, but not coming from his room. They went out and looked down the corridor and seen a hungover boy with a slightly dorky haircut, that was now roughed up to the point of knotting. He leaned on the doorframe as he talked. "Everything okay?" he asked. "Yeah, what happened to you last night?" Harry replied, both crurious and relieved, like when a dog realises that his balls aren't actually missing, but you are actually holding them behind your back having merely pretended to throw them for him. "I just went off and-" Neville started before being interrupted, "and he wound up getting carried away and spending some time with me" said a high pitched voice, but not like elmo or someone like that, this voice sounded sultry and vixenous. Out stepped Esk, spoking a cigarette and wearing nothing but one of Neville's hilariously oversized t-shirts. "Wait...so you two…?" asked Ron, in udder disbelief! "Yup, we fucked" confirmed Esk, "and Neville was bloody beasting btw" she confirmed which made Neville smile a wonderful smile of pride at his own prowess in the sack. "Fuck sake, that's a new one" said Harry, who was both shocked, disgusted, and proud at once. After all of this commotion they were all awake and ready for the day, but this had now interrupted everyone else's sleep, and they all walked out of their rooms (apart from Seamus who rolled) and saw Neville and Esk together. Everyone applauded that Neville actually managed to have sex. Luna was in disbelief, she didn't realise that Esk was interested in Neville at all, and Rincewind was blown away by the whole event, and didn't even have any remaining shock for the fact that Luna had slept on his couch that night.

As they sat down for breakfast, people whistled over to Neville who just took all of these whistlings on his chin. He expected that his sexcapades would be the subject for all of their banter this breakfast, butt there were far more serious topics of discussion afoot. Sirius had joined them today and he was to remain blissfully unaware of the sexual deviancy that had occured the night before. So they acted as innocent peoples and listened to what he had to say. "Your escape to Skyrim did not go unnoticed" he said, taking a sip from his double espresso. Sirius was a big tall man who looked like a rockstar, but his appetite mostly called for coffee. "We must keep moving" he said. He was obviously not talking shit as they could all remember the incident with Percy from the previous night. "I have some stuff stored in a nearby town that will be of use to us, then we must meetup with the rest of my order. Once all together we make a break out of this land and back towards Hogwarts, and together we can take down Snape and his corrupt rule over the mighty school" continued Sirius very siriusly considering that this was breakfast conversation. Normally such heavy topics of talking were left for later in the day, but there was no time to waste. After they finished breakfast, they went around all of the younger students and told them to pack their things. They weren't old enough to be dealing with this shit, but they didn't have any choice right now. Neville made sure to leave a big pile of money as payment for their stay on his bed, including tip obviously, then they all silently slipped out the back path away from the lumbermill, and headed out of Riverrun, saying goodbye to nobody as they left.