AARON & JACKSON
-How To Save A Life-
"Every Day I Love You"
A normal night was what it was meant to be, a normal night where two mates grabbed something to eat together; Adam was hopeful too that it would go without any incident on Aaron's part, how wrong was he? Before they even got into town Aaron had started an argument on the bus because he didn't agree with what Adam was saying about his consumption of alcohol lately, that soured it all before they arrived. But when they got to the restaurant things got worse, at the end of the argument on the bus Aaron promised not to drink but then there he was sat telling the waiter he wanted a double vodka and red bull. He could see and hear Adam's objections but he simply shrugged at his best mate.
Because of Aaron's blatant promise break they didn't really speak during their meal; Adam was hurt, seeing Aaron the way he was, and the fact that Aaron knew what he was doing to himself made it even worse.
Aaron hardly touched his food, he wasn't interested if he was honest, he simply saw the outing as a way to have a drink, Adam couldn't stop him and if he did, well, Aaron wouldn't think twice about protecting his need and stopping him from taking it away. With a burning desire to go to the loo Aaron got up and left the table, he could feel Adam's eyes on him as he left. Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes as he walked away to the toilets, he couldn't cope with the snobby attitude anymore, him being looked down on by his mate; a mate, he didn't think mates did that but of course he was a wild one, always needed looking after, Aaron scoffed, they could all go to hell he did not need looking after, he just wanted a drink and he'd succeeded this time, again…he always did.
When Aaron had relieved himself he peaked out from the toilet doorway into the restaurant and checked if Adam was looking, thankfully he wasn't. Aaron left quickly and done a bunk, he'd have a few minutes head start to the nearest pub before Adam realised at least.
…
The pub was busy, a good night all round, chatter and laughter filled the woolpack by many of the locals; Jackson sat with his mum and Bob on one table not too far from Cain and Tom. Jackson wasn't intentionally listening to their conversation but he was intrigued. But he had to face facts, any mention of Aaron and his ear pricked up. He missed him and loved him so, so much, he'd left him for good reason but now looking at the effects of that, the excessive alcohol issue, it did make him regret leaving, but why should he go against his feelings of wanting out just to save a life? Jackson sighed and hung his head and stared down into his pint and tried to focus his ears on the mind numbing conversation going on between his mum and Bob, he tried a guess, was it bob talking about what cakes he'd have for the café the next day or something arty from his mum…he groaned, cakes, cake and more bloody cake, bob needed a life but then again, so did he, sat in the pub with his mum at his age? He flicked up his eyebrows and shook his head slightly as he lifted his pint to his lips.
"What's up lad you've been off for weeks, proper quiet at work and you don't bat an eyelid to my orders, you normally do since you grew some balls" Cain told Tom with a smirk.
Tom smirked and shyly looked away for a second before looking back at his boss. He shrugged. "I've just been thinking about Aaron a lot, that's all. N-Not in that way before you start-"
"Oh aye" Cain interrupted with a grin.
Tom rolled his eyes and blew out a breath. "Guilt, that's all I feel when I think about him or hear his name mentioned, pure guilt and I can't shake it off"
Cain frowned. "What have you got to feel guilty about?"
"I overheard the conversation between the two of you when you gave him his pay before he was kidnapped, he said he needed money"
"Ah" Cain said with a slight nod. "You should have said, mate there was nothing you could have done"
"No, not money wise but help wise I could have yeah, if I had been here the night he was taken he wouldn't have been pumped with heroin and now, once again suffering and the drinking" Tom sighed and hung his head, Cain frowned and placed his hand on his shoulder.
"There was nothing you could have done mate, I could have but he didn't open his mouth and give me the reason why he needed it, he brushed it off as nothing, I should have known better, I think the both of us need to stop feeling guilty, I do too, but it won't get us anywhere alright?" he asked and Tom nodded in reply. "And this drinking business, that's mainly to do with Jackson, I don't blame the lad for getting out but Aaron's pretty cut up about it all, he'd hurting so he's drinking instead, but it won't be just that it'll be all of it, the HIV, Paddy maybe, the drugs, who knows"
"He does" Tom added quietly.
"Yeah, plenty of people to help and listen but he doesn't want help and he certainly doesn't talk about stuff"
"I think it's about time he did"
Cain started to chuckle. "And you're going to make him are ya?"
"No I'm just saying"
"I know kid, the only way he's going to talk is if he hits an even lower point, doesn't sound good I know but it's the truth"
Tom sighed. "I wish I could help him"
"We can but he doesn't want it mate, nothing we can do"
"So you're giving up then?"
"No" Cain snapped back quite harshly. "I'm here that's all I can do at the minute"
Tom nodded. "Yeah, sorry"
…
An hour had now passed since Adam realised Aaron had gone from the restaurant, he'd searched every single bar so far and hadn't seen him, it was either he'd missed him and was ahead of him or just way, way behind, walking the streets of Hotten was not how he wanted to spend his night, especially when he was up early for work the next day. See one of the problems was, Aaron didn't consider that, it was alright for him to wander off and get bladdered but it was everyone else who picked up the pieces like Adam would tonight, get home late probably then wake up shattered for a long knackering day on the farm in the morning and Aaron would most likely sleep half the day, must be nice eh…Adam was beginning to get really pissed off, he still couldn't find him!
Eventually however he did. A lucky second look in bar west on his way to find a taxi with or without him. He was relieved to find him safe but yet he was angered by the sight of him and in a quick pace he stormed over to him, ignoring whatever drink he was holding or who he was talking too and he grabbed him and pulled him back, it was clear by the stench coming from him that he was steaming drunk not to mention the uncoordinated movements, speech and balance issues he was having.
"You can try all you want to start an argument with me mate it's not happening, I've been looking all over for you! You think this is funny?"
"Am I laughing?" Aaron cockily replied.
"No and you know what, you won't be when you wake up tomorrow either! We came out to get away, to talk about getting you Jackson back, what a waste of time you are, you don't deserve him mate" Adam told him as they stopped in front of a taxi and pulled open the door. "Get in; if you puke you're paying" Aaron simply pulled a disgruntled look as he awkwardly got into the back of the taxi.
…
Aaron unsteadily walked down into the village after being dropped off at the top. Adam wasn't seeing him home, he'd had enough. Aaron did intend to go home but when he saw the pub was still open he grinned, it wasn't as late as he thought it was, he continued down the village to the pub.
When he walked in he heard chatter but it wasn't busy as it probably was. Aaron always made an entrance and he stumbled in and fell to the floor when his foot tripped on the leg of a small stool.
Dan was helping Chas clear up behind the bar, he'd seen Aaron fall and rolled his eyes instantly knowing he was drunk as he rushed around to help, he was met half way by Cameron too who had gotten up to help, they acknowledged each other with a knowing look and continued to pull the lad to his feet.
Aaron grinned when he was stood looking at the fine men in front of him. "Oh what's this eh? Threesome, come on then why not"
Dan shook his head and sighed "How much you drank Aaron?" he asked as Chas watched from behind the bar and Jackson watched from his table, Bob and his mum had left a while ago and he chose to stay to wallow in his pint and the ones following.
Aaron scratched his forehead and pulled a confused look. "Problem there gorgeous, I don't keep count"
"Too much then" he replied then looked to Cameron. "Cheers mate I've got him now"
Cameron nodded with a smile and walked back to Debbie.
Dan pulled Aaron along. "Come on you're staying here tonight"
"Is that an invitation?" Aaron asked with a chuckle. "I-I've always fancied you, ya know"
"Yep I know mate but you're embarrassing yourself now"
"SO?" Aaron asked with a raised voice.
"So? Oh okay then, well I'll remind you in the morning then let's see how embarrassed you aren't in front of everyone then shall we?"
"Do what you want!" something had snapped inside and Aaron turned angry and he harshly pulled away from Dan's hold.
"Oh come on son, don't be like this, just go in the back and sober up a bit" Chas told him.
"I don't want to, I want a drink, mum come on, pint please"
Chas firmly shook her head.
Frustrated, Dan walked back over to him "Aaron! Now move it, in the back"
Aaron scoffed and angrily pulled away once more and stepped back. "Who the hell do you think you are? You're not my dad!"
By this time Jackson had heard and seen more than enough, if Aaron didn't realise Jackson was there before he certainly did now, Jackson walked right by him as he left the pub.
Dan took a breath when he saw Jackson leave. "You think that's fair do ya! I might not be your dad but I'm as good as Aaron, driving into town in the middle of the night to pick you up cause you have no money to get home, look after you once we are home, clean up your sick, get you into bed, picking you up is fine but I did not have to do that other stuff but I did because I cared and I still do! I understand why you do what you do but you are going to kill yourself and none of us are going to stand by and let that happen, you're going to have a struggle on your hands kid, let's see you try and carry on with this drinking"
Menacingly Aaron leaned in close and got into Dan's face. "Just watch me" he told him quickly then turned and headed to the doors and momentarily was out in the cold dark night once more. His scuffled footsteps had caught Jackson's attention further down the village and he turned and stood still and just watched the younger lad, he really missed him and that longing urged him back up the way he'd came.
Not even a minute later Jackson stopped at one of the tables outside the pub looking down on a drunken unaware Aaron. "You have to stop all this Aaron"
Aaron looked up quickly and saw the man he missed and loved, tears filled his eyes. "I didn't know you were in there"
Jackson took in a breath as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Would it have made a difference?"
Aaron shrugged and hung his head. "Probably not"
Jackson nodded and looked around the silent village for a second before looking back at him.
"Why did you leave me?" Aaron asked as he sobbed.
"You know why Aaron, I couldn't take it anymore"
"But now I can't take it" Aaron told him.
Jackson sadly nodded. "I can see that. I left you because of my own feelings on things but I left also to test you, and I'm telling you babe you've failed massively"
At those words Aaron held his head in his hands. He wasn't angry, he understood.
"I was hurt physically and emotionally, a year of constant struggle Aaron, you know how I felt because in your own way you felt it all too, I had to get away, heal and have a break, now I do love you and I do want you but you have to sort yourself out before someone finds you in a ditch dead because you've drank too much, it happens!"
"But I need it Jackson, you don't understand"
"One addiction for another then is that it?"
"I didn't intend on it, if that's what you mean"
"You sure?"
"Yes" Aaron hissed. "B-But in all seriousness can you blame me? Can ya? After everything?"
Jackson hung his head and shook it, he couldn't blame him. "But…it's not the right thing to be doing"
"I love you Jackson" Aaron told him shakily. "I've always loved you and you've always been there for me, why can't you be there now?"
"I'm not superman Aaron, I can't do everything and I can't look after you twenty four seven, everything before this yeah I could but this, this was done intentionally, kick the booze Aaron and life might just seem a little brighter, get yourself sorted and we'll see what happens down the road, until then you're on your own as far as you and me are concerned"
"S-So you're sticking around then?"
Jackson nodded. "Against my better judgement but yes I am"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I'm very wary of what might happen between us if I do"
"I won't screw it up again Jackson"
"But they're just words Aaron, prove it and sort yourself out, my mums an adult, you didn't really think I was still here because of her did ya? I've been hurt that's all yeah, a few weeks out of the picture doesn't amount to a full year of a sort of hell Aaron"
"I know" Aaron replied quietly.
"Right well get back in there and apologise and for god sake just do what they tell ya"
"Okay" Aaron replied as he got up from the table unsteadily but Jackson reached out to help him steady himself and when his hand touched his arm Aaron looked up into Jackson's eyes instantly, a surge of electricity a charge of power bolted through him. "I-It's still there isn't it?" he asked quietly.
Jackson looked down at his hand on Aaron's arm for a second then looked back at him and despite the feelings he felt in that moment and the answer being yes he simply replied with "We'll see, goodnight Aaron"
"Goodnight" Aaron replied then he started walking back. Once up in the doorway he stopped when Jackson called out.
"Oh and erm maybe put a mute on that inner perv yeah?" he called to Aaron with a smirk on his lips.
Aaron smirked and sheepishly nodded before turning away and walking inside. Jackson was the only person who truly made him happy and whatever just happened he took as a good sign, but it would be him alone who would determine their fate and could he, most of all fix himself without Jackson?
TBC…