Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Twilight.

Okay so I could spend time explaining the hundred and one reasons it took me so long to get this chapter out or I could just let you read it and hope you forgive me. xx

Chapter 34

Unfortunately talking to James turned out to be easier said than done.

I'd left several messages telling him to call me, explaining it was just to discuss Ellie. I called at different times of the day trying to get him when he was free. I'd even used Jasper's phone to call so he wouldn't recognise the number, yet after a week I still had nothing.

I called Laurent to see if he knew where James was, but, like me, he hadn't heard from him since the funeral.

It was like he'd dropped off the face of the planet. Which was good in one way, but bad in another.

I kept calling him everyday hoping he'd figure out I wasn't going away and decide it would be easier to just talk to me, but as each day passed with still no word I began to worry that this vicious cycle was never going to end.

"Maybe I should tell him in a message exactly what I want." I thought one night as I lay across Jasper on the sofa "I mean if he really does want nothing to do with us now and I tell him there's a way he can just pretend we never happened he'd talk to me."

Jasper chuckled "You could try."

He wasn't taking my lack of progress as bad as I'd thought he would.

I hoped up feeling restless "I don't know what else I can do, I mean isn't there a way we could, I don't know summon him to a court hearing or something?"

Jasper managed to contain his laughter well "Baby please stop stressing, just give it time okay, he'll get in contact with you if you keep pestering him."

"Not been working so far has it." I muttered moodily.

"Come here." he murmured opening his arms I willingly went back over to him "Stop worrying." he insisted again "Look I have the day off tomorrow, so lets go somewhere and just forget about everything for one day, just the three of us. What do you say?"

"Okay." I sighed "A family day out sounds great."

Jasper laughed kissing my head "You know you could sound a little more enthusiastic."

I giggled, wriggling around in his arms so I could kiss him "It sounds great. I love you."

He grinned at me "Well it's hard not to isn't it."

I giggled again, my fingers going to tangle in his hair "Well you are kind of perfect so yeah, it is hard not to love you."

Jasper's only response was to kiss me deeply, which led to some heavy petting and dry humping on the sofa.

"You know." I gasped breathlessly as Jasper's mouth dropped to nibble my neck "If we're going out tomorrow we should probably get an early night."

"Hmm." he hummed against my neck "An early night sounds good." he stood carefully, lifting me in his arms, one hand slid round to tease me through my jeans.

I moaned, wriggling against him looking forward to our 'early night'.

Jasper decided to tease me though, when we reached the bedroom he simple placed me on the bed then moved away to get changed.

"Jasper." I pouted.

"What?" he asked, I could hear the grin in his voice "We're going to need our rest for tomorrow."

I huffed "Fine." I quickly stripped down to my underwear then smirked when I looked up to find Jasper's eyes locked on me.

Turning my back on him I undid my bra and dropped it to the floor. Before I could move Jasper had his arms around my waist, his mouth at my neck.

"You are evil." he growled, his teeth lightly scraping my shoulder.

"Well I learnt from the master." I giggled turning in his arms so I could wrap my arms around his neck "And you started it!"

The next minute I was flat on my back moister pooled between my legs as Jasper pulled my panties down with his teeth.

Fuck me that was hot!

He kissed his way up from my feet making me squirm impatiently beneath him.

"Jasper." I whined.

He just chuckled and I whined again, the only time I didn't get what I wanted from him was the one time I really wished he'd give into me.

"After all this time and you still don't trust me." he murmured against my stomach.

Knowing he was right I tried to push down the burning need flaring through my body and just enjoy what Jasper was currently doing to me, which I'll admit was pretty nice.

I moaned loudly my eyes closing in bliss as his mouth finally moved to where I was burning for him.

The rest of the night past in a haze of sexual ecstasy.

As usual I woke with a large smile on my face the next morning.

One of Jasper's arms was loosely draped over my hip from where it would have held me tight before he fell asleep.

I wriggled free so I could turn and watch him sleep for a while.

Everyone looked younger, more peaceful, when they slept but Jasper looked kind of ageless, like some Greek god, of course his sculpted chest just visible under the duvet added to that image.

I bit my lip to stop a giggle escaping as I thought back to the night before, he was most defiantly a sex god!

Having had enough of just staring at him I pounced, making him wake up with a start.

"Alice?" he mumbled disorientated.

Softening the blow of such a rude awakening I brought my lips to his in a slow seductive kiss, he moaned as I pulled back.

"Time to get up." I sang happily "You promised me a day out."

"Can't we stay here instead?" he asked, his hands running up the back of my thighs where I was straddling him.

I pretended to think for a second "Well" I began slowly "If you want me worrying over everything again I guess we could stay in."

Jasper pushed himself up on his elbows so he could reach my shoulder and bite down gently.

"I have incredible powers of distraction." he murmured moving his lips up to my neck.

I grabbed his shoulders pushing him down onto his back again "Why don't we compromise." I said enticingly "You take us out today and I'll make it up to you tonight."

He thought for a moment "So what you're saying is, whatever I want tonight." he said slowly.

"Yes."

Jasper's face split into a grin making me regret what I'd said "Deal." he said before I could change my mind.

Once we were all showered, dressed and fed I was bouncing around with excitement.

It was kind of sad since Jasper said we were just going to a craft fair, but we hadn't had a stress free day out in a long time, or at least it felt like a long time, so I was really looking forward to it.

Turns out it wasn't just a craft fair, one of the local schools had been taken over, each room was dedicated to a different type of art, they even had a crèche set up. After a little persuasion from Jasper, and the reassurance that Ellie wasn't screaming her head off in complaint I left her there so we could take our time without worrying that she would be getting bored. I left my mobile number with one of the girls in case I was needed.

"You really hate leaving her don't you." Jasper commented.

I shook my head with a sigh "I just worry, if something happens. Not that I'd be all that much use if I was there." I added.

"So you're not going to be considering day care for her then?" he asked slowly.

"No." I answered a little too harshly.

"Okay, it's your choice." he assured quickly, obviously worried he'd upset me.

We wandered around in silence looking at the different exhibits.

I didn't know how to break the silence and Jasper seemed to be taking my lead and staying quiet.

"I know I can't protect her forever but I just don't want her to go through that yet." I finally said. From the way Jasper looked at me I knew he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Through what?" he asked.

"It will be like before, only it will be directed at Ellie." I knew this still wouldn't be making sense to Jasper.

"Baby, what are you talking about?" he asked softly.

"The judgement." I said, trying to explain better "When I went to prenatal yoga, or the mother baby coffee mornings after she was born, it was all the same, all the boasting." I put on some high pitched gloating voice "'Oh yes he was walking at eighteen weeks' 'Well my Tommy was talking after four weeks'. All that pointless unnecessary pressure." I took a deep breath "And the way they looked at me, the teenage mum knocked up before she was married, who would have no idea how to take care of a baby." I was getting myself worked up remembering what it was like knowing everyone was whispering about me "I can't put her through that."

"Alice, it's okay." Jasper murmured soothingly "I'm not asking you to throw her to the wolves here."

I fought back my retort because in my mind that was exactly what he was asking.

"At some point she will have to go to school, and I just thought that transition may be easier if she starts getting used to being around new people now."

"She's only one" I exclaimed, school was a long way off.

"I know that" he began before stopping and sighing "Okay. If you're not ready for that it's fine, it was just a thought."

We carried on walking around in silence, this day wasn't turning out to be as stress free as we'd hoped.

"How about I think about it?" I asked, trying to compromise.

If I was going to make this work I had to accept Jasper deserved a say when it came to Ellie's life.

"Okay." he agreed "And just so you know I'm only talking about one morning a week to start with. It will also help you with your separation anxiety."

"I do not get separation anxiety." I insisted with a huff.

Jasper was fighting a smile as he looked at me "Really? Cause you know you've checked your phone at least six times since we left her, less than an hour ago."

I looked down at where my mobile was clenched tightly in my hand and realised he was right.

"Okay so maybe I do, a little."

Jasper said nothing, he simply smiled and placed a kiss on the side of my head.

The rest of the day passed smoother, we were able to relax and enjoy ourselves.

There was an sculpture set up in the main hall demonstrating his skills. I watched in fascination as he bent and twisted metal to resemble to branches of a tree.

"You like?" Jasper asked as I looked over some of his completed pieces.

"Yeah." I murmured letting my fingers run over the smooth metal "They're different."

"You want one?"

I shook my head with a smile "Maybe for my birthday." I told him.

"Okay." he murmured taking one of the guys business cards "For your birthday then."

I giggled a little, we were getting better, me at accepting gifts and Jasper at holding off from buying me something every time we went out.

There were several stands set up where you could try your hand at certain things, I wanted to try the potters wheel, but didn't get very far as Jasper ended up stood behind me making me think of that scene in Ghost. Of course this wasn't the appropriate time or place to try a re-enactment so I quickly moved on to something else.

We also tried mouth and foot painting.

I found it really hard and didn't really manage to create anything other than a mess on the paper. Jasper did a little better, I had always known his mouth was talented but I was impressed at how well he could paint with it.

"It's modern art." I insisted as Jasper tried not to laugh at the splodges of paint I had spread over the paper.

"It's very impressive baby." he said with a chuckle.

I shrugged, giving him a coy smile "Well my mouth is better suited to other activities."

Jasper just raised an eyebrow "Maybe you can demonstrate those to me later."

I bit my lip and nodded slowly, after all he'd held up his end of the deal and taken me out for the day, and it was helping me relax and forget about my worries for a while at least.

Of course Jasper was right and I couldn't be completely stress free not knowing if Ellie was okay.

"Did you at least enjoy yourself?" Jasper asked as we headed back to the crèche to pick her up.

"Yeah I did." I assured him "I'm sorry I get distracted."

"Don't be, there's a lot going on at the moment, but things will calm down, eventually." he wrapped an arm around me letting me lean into him.

"Things better calm down soon." I muttered "Sorry." I looked up at him "So much for our stress free day huh."

Jasper chuckled "Yeah but at least the stress keeps things interesting."

I didn't respond to that, Jasper was a glass half full kind of guy, for me the glass was always empty so at times like this it was easier to just stay quiet and let him be all sunny and positive.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed as we reached the room set up for the crèche and I saw something that resembled my daughter, except it was green.

"I'm so sorry." the girl in charge came rushing over "We were finger painting with some of the older kids, I don't know how she got into the paint."

Ellie was giggling away, completely oblivious to the trouble she'd caused.

I swelled in anger, ready to release hell on this poor girl when Jasper intercepted.

"It's okay, we should probably take her home to clean up now though."

The girl nodded quickly, obviously realising she'd dodged a bullet with me she rushed off to get Ellie.

"It's okay?" I turned to Jasper seething "They coloured my child and you think that's okay? You see what happens when I trust other people with her." I ranted.

Jasper's hands went to my shoulders, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles to calm me down.

"Baby, it's not like they were using lead paint or something, she's fine, she's not hurt. If anything she's having the time of her life causing so much mischief. We'll take her home give her a bath to clean her up. No harm done, the poor girl already feels guilty enough without you ripping into her."

"Well she should be guilty." I huffed, but the anger was draining as Jasper's hands worked their magic.

By the time we made it to the car, Ellie wrapped in a blanket to protect everything from getting covered in paint, I was actually starting to see the funny side.

"I just don't think green's your colour." I told her once we were home and I was peeling her ruined clothes off while Jasper got the bath sorted.

"I don't know." Jasper called from the bathroom "Green is a colour you associate with monsters, and she's defiantly a monster."

"Did you hear that?" I asked her in mock offence "Naughty Jasper calling you a monster."

She just giggled making me laugh.

"Well she's not denying it." I called back to Jasper.

"Of course not, because she knows I'm right." He came to stand in the doorway "Baths ready by the way, you want anything special for dinner?"

I shrugged still focussed on Ellie "Whatever's fine." I picked Ellie up and made my way to the bathroom, I double checked the water temperature before lowering her into the bath.

Luckily the paint washed off pretty easily revealing my mischievous little girl beneath.

"Did you have fun today?" I asked as I bathed her.

Her vocabulary was still limited and most communication was baby noises still, but she giggled and gurgled happily in confirmation.

I sighed watching her splash her hands in the water "Would you enjoy day care?" I wondered aloud.

She carried on playing with the water, happy in her own little world. I chewed my lip thoughtfully.

Maybe one morning a week wouldn't be so bad, and if she hated it she didn't have to keep going.

Once she was back to a normal human colour I dried her off and headed to the kitchen where Jasper had dinner ready for us all.

I let him feed her seeing as how it was something he enjoyed, and she ate more willingly when Jasper fed her. I smiled as I watched them.

Today had made me see just how much I enjoyed this, I enjoyed us being a family.

After dinner I let Jasper put Ellie to bed, he had decided it was time she started having bedtime stories, and it was just too cute listening to him reading to her, so I was happy to let him.

That night though I took the time to call James again, as expected I got his voicemail.

"James please." I begged "Please call me back, I promise I'm not after money or anything, but we need to talk, then if you want I will never contact you again, but please just call me back."

If that didn't work I didn't know what else to say, as much as he didn't deserve me to be nice to him I just couldn't bring myself to ask him to give up his rights to Ellie in a message, that and I really wanted to gauge his reaction to the idea and I couldn't do that if I left a message.

If he didn't call back though I'd have little choice.

"You're worrying again." Jasper said in a sing song voice.

I looked up at him "I thought you were reading to Ellie."

He shrugged coming to sit next to me on the sofa and pulling me against his chest.

"I was but she fell asleep halfway through Snow White." he chuckled "We'll finish it tomorrow night. But don't change the subject, why are you worrying again?"

I sighed "Same old, same old."

"James." he muttered quietly.

"I just want it over, I know it's kind of my fault for leaving it but" I sighed "I just want to know, one way or the other. Today was just so great, I want that everyday."

"So you want Ellie painted green everyday?" Jasper asked slowly.

I laughed a little "No. but I want us to be a family."

Jasper gave me a kiss "We are a family baby, you and Ellie mean everything to me. I wont lie, I want nothing more than for this prick to be out of our lives, for me to adopt Ellie, but if that doesn't happen it doesn't happen and we just keep going, that doesn't mean we wont be a family."

I smiled and hugged him tight "You always manage to make it seem like everything will be fine."

"Everything will be fine." he assured "Trust me."

"I do." I answered, and I meant it, it may have taken me a while to let him in, but now I trusted him completely.

He had proven how much he loved me over and over, even when things seemed at there bleakest he had stood by me.

One of his hands came to tilt my chin so I was looking at him, he smiled softly at me and I stretched up to kiss him.

My phone began to ring interrupting what was progressing towards another early night.

Groaning I pulled back "This better be important." I grumbled making Jasper chuckle as I reached for my phone.

"Hello?" I answered.

"What do you wanna talk about?"

I blinked in shock "James?"

Jasper sat up straighter.

"Yes Mar." he said sounding annoyed "What did you want to talk about?"

"Erm." I stuttered, thrown completely off guard by his sudden call.

"Look you're the one who's been calling non stop for the past couple of weeks."

I scoffed "Yeah and the one time you reply is when I assure you I'm not after money."

"What do you want?" he growled down the phone.

My anger ignited again and I was about to start yelling at him when Jasper's hand came to rest on my arm calming me a little.

"We need to talk about Ellie, you know your daughter." I had to be a bit of an ass to him.

Static crackled down the phone as he sighed.

"I've told you I'm not after money." I snapped waspishly.

"Well what then?" he yelled.

"You know what." I snapped back unable to stay calm when I spoke to him "The same thing I've been asking you since you showed up again. Do you want to be part of her life or not?"

"Mar" he began with a resigned sigh.

"Do not tell me you have a lot on! Or can't do this right now. I need to fucking know James." I exploded down the phone at him "You can't keep doing this to me, it's not fair. I want to move on with my life and I can't do that if I'm always half expecting you to come bursting back into our lives."

"Baby calm down." Jasper murmured softly.

I took a deep breath and looked over at him, focusing on Jasper for a moment I managed to calm myself a little.

"Okay." I said to James "I get that you're at college, that you've had a lot to deal with recently, but summer break is in one month, you get one week from then to decide what you want or I'll damn well decide for you."

I didn't wait for a response, I ended the call and flung my phone across the room with a scream.

"Baby calm down." Jasper said again a little firmer.

"I try to be civil with him, but he makes it so fucking hard." I seethed "God I hate him so much."

"I know." Jasper sighed "But with any luck you wont have to deal with him for much longer."

"With my luck." I sighed.

"Alice, he's never shown any interest in being her father. He'll make whatever decision is best for him, and he's not the kind of guy who wants to be tied down."

I let Jasper's words and hands sooth me, knowing in my head he was right, if James had any interest in Ellie he wouldn't have been avoiding me for the past few weeks.

I was making too much of a big deal over this, but I just couldn't help being a pessimist. I didn't want to be disappointed if James decided to be difficult.

Besides we'd always wanted a family, maybe once college was over he'd want to take more of a active roll in her life.

I groaned, burying my head in Jasper's chest, hiding from the world.

I had thought I was being strict with my ultimatum, but all I'd done was give myself another month of stress and worry.

Once again I'm sorry it took so long, I can promise the next chapter will be up sooner. xx