Loghain stood unmoving, facing the window, only daring to glance at the sitting Warden from the corner of his eye.
The warden…it had been so long since he used this term when thinking about her yet she was still the Warden, the only and unique woman who had defeated him and she was now ready to throw him away after sensing he could be a menace to her children. He wouldn't object and wouldn't make up some excuses, for being able to live like this for two years was more than he would have expected, more than what he used to dream about all this time he spent as a warden in Orlais, lonely and rejected like a plague-stricken man. If she wanted him gone he would comply.
Yet some hopes persisted in the back of his mind, she, after all had dressed in the outfit he liked and made herself beautiful…it would be some sort of unusual cruelty coming from such a principled woman, exacerbating her beauty to taunt him before throwing him back to his loneliness while the ghost of death is hovering around him.
"Do you know why I brought you here, to this small farm in the middle of a remote village and away from everyone?" Kallian finally broke the silence.
"To raise children, I guess," he said with a detached tone waiting for her to tell him how he had failed her and the children and that was time for him to leave.
"Yes indeed it's a calm place to raise children, but when I spotted this farm, that was not the first thing I have thought about…" Kallian confessed. "you see, you are such a vain man," she laughed, "I have always felt that I should never let you know how much you really mean to me…but today is the day of revelations in some sort,"
Loghain frowned, the conversation was taking an unexpected turning point. He turned his head to fully look at the woman sitting at the corner of the room and he could spot no trace of anger showing on her face.
"I love my children and my family but I have no merit for it, it's instinctive and normal, I do love people in general and children in particular and it's due to my nature…but you Loghain, you…" Kallian raised from her chair and walked slowly toward him.
The elven woman gently put her hands on his back and moved them upward, caressing him until they reached his broad shoulders.
"For many years, I have kept you inside my deserted heart…you alone were there roaming its empty corners and my only wish was to take you to some deserted place that would mimic what I have felt…take you away from the entire world and have you for myself alone," her voice was a whisper. He fought the urge to turn and see what expression she had on her face.
"…Being a good mother, being a good daughter and being a decent good person, do not come before you, even if I had done and said everything to make you believe the contrary…Helping as many people as I could during the civil war, helping Redcliff, liberating Joan, fighting against the annulment in Kinloch Hold and even bringing back the elves you sold, I have been pushed by my moral codes but first and above all else, I have been compelled by my sentiments toward you, by the deep desire to clean after you, to erase all sins you intentionally or unintentionally committed…You… and only you, come first, regardless of what you have done or what you may do, it will always be you…I have accepted my feelings and reconciled with myself," Kallian's voice trembled as she wrapped her arms around the tall man standing unmoving before her, embracing him from behind.
"It is you who gave me my children and it is thanks to you I have been able to adopt the others and offer them a home. You have kept your promise and those evil monsters won't hurt children anymore…everything in my life begins with you and it ends with you…breaking my heart won't make me stop loving you, and it now won't drive me away from you, it will only add griefs to it," Kallian closed her eyes and rested her cheek against Loghain's back. She heard his heart hammering inside his chest and suddenly a strong fist, almost painfully grabbed both of her hands that were resting on his chest.
Kallian startled as the man pulled her to face him, her surprise grew bigger when she saw his face…anger, sadness, and tears in his eyes…she had never seen his tears before, not even when he had been defeated and lost everything. Why would he cry when she was aiming to reassure him and offering him a boundless love?
"You…" he uttered with a strangled hoarse voice, squeezing her wrists in his grasp.