A pine tree Diverges in the woods ch. 38
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
…...
Mabel smiled as the party was going full swing. "Hey boys! Looking good! Gorney! You clean up nice! Mr. Poolcheck move those crazy legs...You- you weird pool man."
Yep this party had been a great idea! Both as a celebration for getting the Shack back...and to get everyone's mind off recent events...Especially Dippers. Mabel sighed, Dipper had been so depressed the last couple of days. They'd tried to cheer him up...but-
…...
-Come on Bro-Bro! Don't be down! I know just what we'll cheer you up! A new episode of Duck-tective!"
Shouted Mabel excitedly as she turns on the TV. The familiar constable smiled. "We'll old friend, it seems you've 'quaked-
WE INTERUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU THIS BREAKING NEWS BULLETINE!
"We've just received word that yet another desolated SHEILD base was found overrun and it's occupants slaughtered by HYDRA-
"OOP! Let's forget we saw that!" Shouted Mabel while desperately keeping her stepford smile in place for her brothers sake while she quickly changed channels.
A woman stared at another woman and shook her head. "Girl! Why You Ackin' So Cray-
BOOM!
The wall behind them exploded, revealing a demonic black knight. "You've been canceled!" It shouts as it decapitates Sassica.
Dipper paled. "I recognize him! Phil showed me some of the index! He's supposed to be in the FRIDGE!...Oh no! That must mean it's been compromised! That means all of the worlds most dangerous, paranormal criminal are-
OKAY! LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE IS ON! Interrupted Mabel frantically as she flips through the channels.
BZZT!
-Now that SHEILDS gone; every Wannabe Tyrant and Would-Be Dictator is crawling out of the woodwork-
BZZT!
-That Mothman killed all those kids! And 10 of our best cops! We just don't have the experience to deal with this sort of stuff like SHIELD-
BZZT!
-A massive fire fight broke out between South and North Korea today, as an ancient alien ship was discovered inbetween their borders and accidentally activated. Releasing a 'zombie plague'. It seems that the ship was only never discovered before thanks to SHIELD-
BZZT!
-With the SHEILD quarantine gone; strange monsters and 'Pyramid men' have been running wild and slaughtering hundreds in the Providences surrounding SILENT HILL-
BZZT!
-The manhunt for Phil Coulson continues-
SMASH!
Mabel panted over the remains of the smashed TV. "Forget TV! It rots your brain! Let's go outside!" Shouts Mabel as she practically shoves Dipper outside.
Mabel smiles. "AH! This is more like it! The lovely breeze! Wonderful sunshine! Fresh air! Oh, look! Someone's shooting fire works!" She shouts as she points to a lone firework streaking across the sky-
BOOM!
ATTENTION GREAT SATAN! YOUR 'SHIELD' ATTACK DOGS HAVE FALLEN BY THEIR OWN ARROGENCE AND DECADENCE! Shouts the giant hologram in the sky that materialized from the 'firecracker'. WE; THE TEN RINGS OF TERROR SHALL-
OH COME ON! THAT DOSEN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! Shouts an irritated Mabel!
…...
Mabel was brought out of her thoughts when Sheriff Blubs walked up to her. "What's the problem officer? Did you catch my face going ninety smiles per hour?" Blubs shook his head. "I've gotten complaints about the loudest party in town." Mabel smiled coyly "Let me guess; you want in?" Blubs sighed. "Under different circumstances I'd say yes...but no!" Shouted Blubs more to himself than anyone else. "I have to be strong for Durland!"
Blubs explains how after the Gideon fiasco...Phil tore into them; gave them the mother of all 'reasons you suck speech'. He then uses one of Tremblys crazy laws to try and get them fired. It didn't pan out with Blubs...Durland on the other hand...
Blubs begged and pleaded for Phil to reconsider; he even went as far to offer to resign in exchange for Durland being allowed back...Eventually, Phil made him a deal: He'd give him one year to 'shape up' and to teach Durland to be a real policeman...And if the results are satisfactory...he 'might' consider letting Durland come back.
-"So I'm sorry little Missy, but this party is over!" Mabel groaned...She didn't like doing this...But Dipper needed this party! "You do realize I'm the girl you let Gideon shoot, right?" Blubs paled...then gave a resigned sighed. "I guess I do owe you, don't I?" Mabel also sighs. "Look if Phil asks, I'll say your doing great!" Offers Mabel sincerely. Blubs smiled. "Thank you." Mabel gives him a cake and goodie bag and sends him on his way. She then frowns. Speaking of Dipper...where was he?
…...
-"And you're certain this "journal" will help our case?" Asked Agent Powers over the phone. "I'm a hundred percent positive." Affirms Dipper confidently. "Very well. We're on our way."
Now in a different universe a slightly more naive Dipper would at this point have been caught by Stan. As in his (somewhat) understandable excitement over the prospect of finally being taken seriously and finally getting the resources he needs to finally figure out the 'big secrets' of Gravity Falls; the 'other' Dipper stayed in Stan's room to immediately make the call...This was not that universe...and this Dipper wasn't anything like that other Dipper.
It was a war-weary, battle hardened Dipper that had immediately ran from his uncles room the instant he got the number and made the call from a more secure location. And Dipper trembled as he ended the call...not out of excitement...but cold certainty of what he had to do. He quickly walked to the rendezvous point in the middle of the woods...
…...
Dipper smiled as the agents approached. "Guys, I'm so glad to see you. Working together we can crack the all of the big questions of Gravity Falls!"
Agent Powers smirked. "Or you could give just come with us; with the journal and not get shot." Said powers as he and Trigger pulled out their guns-
ZAP!
Both agents fell over, and Wendy and Soos walked out of the bushes both armed with smoking 'Night-Night' guns. Wendy reached into one of their pockets. She pulled out a com-link with a familiar insignia on it. "Yep, these guys are HYDRA alright."
Dipper smiled. "Alright, tie them up. Take all their stuff. Then take them to the basement and find out what they know. Meanwhile, I'll loot their car."
"Great plan! I almost feel bad for ruining it!" Everyone turned around and paled. Before them stood a mechanically enhanced Garret!
…...
Mabel took to the stage. "What do you say guys is this party legendary? When I say "Mabel" you say "Pines"!" She stopped mid-sentence when the ground began to shake. Everyone screamed and ran away.
Mabel turns around just in time to see Dipper, Wendy, and Soos running from the woods covered in weird gunk and carrying guns. "Guys, what's going on here!?" Demanded Mabel. Dipper panted. "Long story short: Garrets back, Phil almost killed him with the 084. But he ducked at the last second. Now he's here, he's insane, and is now some sort of super cyborg!"
Mabel's eyes widened. "Wait, what about the earthquake?" She asked. Dipper winched in embarrassment. "Right...Well, in my panic...I may have accidentally Summoned an army of the undead." "WHAT!?" Exclaimed Mabel. "But the good news is that they seemed to consider Garret the bigger threat, because they were focusing exclusively on him!...The bad news is that last we saw them; Garret was ripping through them like a hot knife through butter...so we don't have a whole lot of time!
Quickly they grabbed Stan and jumped into his car and gunned it! While they rode away Dipper poured through the journal trying to find something, anything that could use! Thanks to Soos nervously fiddling with a rave disco ball, they realized the journal was full of invisible writing. However, before Dipper could do anything with this discovery-
CRASH!
The car was knocked off the road! Garret ripped off the car roof. "HERE'S JOHNNY!" Shouts Garret while he laughs maniacally. "There's a reason they say 'cut off the head'. With this new body and that little journal of your's; I'll be unstoppable-
BOOM!
The Mystery Shack gang gaped as Garret was disintegrated. They looked and saw someone approach. Nick Fury blew off a puff of smoke from the barrel of the 084. "You guys alright?" He asks as he reaches in to give them a hand-
SMACK!
Yep, he's definitely Phil's kid. Thinks fury to himself after Dipper smacks him across the face "How could you do that to Phil!? Do you have any idea what he went through because of TAHITI!?" Fury groans as he begins to explain the same things he told to Phil...
…...
Meanwhile, Trigger and Powers having woken up were making their escape. They tried to reach their car, but quickly ran off when they saw some SHEILD agents taking it away.
Trigger panted. "That was insane! I've never seen anything like it! How do we report this?" "I've got an idea." Says a voice from behind. Suddenly, the two agents found themselves surrounded by numerous HYDRA Soldiers, all pointing their guns at them.
Commander Deathshead stepped from the shadows. "I was thinking along the lines: Whitehall, your attempted interference with Lord Kroenen's affairs in Gravity Fall's shall no longer be tolerated. And any more action will be dealt with brutally."
He turns to the two frightened agents. "We'll? What are you waiting for? A kiss on the cheek? Go deliver the message!"
The agents didn't need to be told twice! They ran like the devil himself was after them...and they weren't too far off the mark.
Deathshead makes a dramatic show of scratching his chin as if in deep thought. He turns to his best sniper's. "Remind me again; how many men dose it take to deliver a message?" He says with a smirk. The sniper smirks back as he aims for one of the two fleeing forms. "one."
BANG!
…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Alright everyone! Here's what you've all been waiting for: Next up: "Into the Bunker!" If you haven't already figured out that things are going to be much different than cannon...Then you've no one to blame but yourself!
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