Chapter 38
"I'm nineteen." I stood taller and stared at her. I was pretty sure I could see what she was about to say as she glanced at the note and her eyes stared at the bottom of it.
"Oh." Ms. Cope glanced up at me, looking somewhat troubled, and I sighed, as I saw my chance of just dropping this off and leaving gone. I knew something would happen. "I'm not sure what we're supposed to do. I have no idea if we're even allowed to take a note from you."
"Who else is going to write it?" I crossed my arms as I watched her melt down with confusion. I found myself having to sit in the crummy office while Ms. Cope went back to the counselor's office to see if she could take my note. I was a damned adult! I hadn't missed a day yet, even when Alice and the others did. I think I earned the right to create my own notes by now.
I sat there feeling more awkward as I listened to the tick of the clock, and knew I was going to be lucky to catch my first class on time. The door opened and the scent reached me before I even turned my head. I smiled just a little at the beautiful vampire that gave me a teasing smile and glided up to the desk. "She's in the back." I told Alice as I watched her tap her own note gently on the counter. "They're having a meeting to decide if I'm an adult." I made a silly face at Alice and watched her laugh quietly.
"You knew it would throw them." Alice reminded me and leaned back against the counter, looking at me. Her smile faded slowly. Her voice was more serious. "You really want to be an adult, don't you?"
I didn't know what to make of the tone in her voice, and I stared at her a moment, before I felt the dawning of a realization. "I," I stared at her helplessly as I struggled with how to deal with this one. Of course I wanted to be an adult, to not be told when I could do the simplest of things, to not be treated like I was eleven. I couldn't say that now though, because I wasn't going to age anymore, I'd always be 'almost' an adult but not quite in humans' eyes. I was going to stay forever nineteen for Alice and I didn't want her to feel bad about it. I would have preferred if she were a bit older, if I could have stayed forever twenty-five, I could have made that work for me, but nineteen was going to irritate me at times. I knew myself well enough to know that.
She was still watching me and I took a deep breath, my body slumping a little as I let it out. "I want to," I had to look away as I worked to voice my feelings, and cover up my disappointment at my current age. "I was tossed away like garbage, and I just want to prove," I wasn't sure what I'd be proving, but Alice moved to gently sit next to me on the bench, and her hand rested gently on my arm a moment. "I'm still standing." I thought of that old song my mom used to like and I gave Alice a weak smile. She seemed to soften, and I got a brief hug, but the sound of footsteps drew us apart.
Alice handed over her note and was allowed to leave. Her expression was tender as she gave me a look before leaving me to face the counselor now. Ms. Cope couldn't cope with my note and now I had to meet with the counselor about it. I heard the bell ring as I sat down in the private office and had to watch the school counselor reading over my note. I sighed and stared out the window as I waited to be addressed.
I was twenty minutes late to English, and even though I had a note from the Counselor I wanted to just skip it, rather than deal with walking in late. That teacher had already taught me it was better to be absent. The door creaked when I opened it and I kept my hand out with the note that should enable me to avoid the normal 'your late' lecture. I handed it over without looking at the teacher much and focused on my seat, and Rosalie's eyes.
The whisper reached me even though the people around the blonde vampire heard nothing. "took them that long did it?"
I watched my teacher nod, and that was all it took for me to move for my seat. As I sat down I spoke quietly. "Took the chance to make sure I had first period Health for next semester." It had come up that I held down a job and had plans to work full time starting this January, after this semester ended. At least that meeting meant he understood and the counselor fixed my schedule so I didn't have a full one. I had no idea they'd just given me classes for the entire year like that. Now I was signed up for one class, the early one, so I could do what I needed to with the rest of my day. Part of me might have liked to stay in class, perhaps have more with Alice, but I had other things I needed to do with my time.
"Health, I don't think they'll discuss what flea collar is best for you." Rosalie told me and then focused on her book. I smiled just a little and tried to catch up to what we were supposed to be doing.
When lunch came I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. To make up for that I slowly walked toward the cafeteria, and when nothing seemed to scream 'no' in my head, I let out a breath and smiled as I stepped inside. I noticed Jessica talking to the new girl, Bella, and wondered if Bella would handle the gossip queen better than I did. As I walked passed them toward the food I could hear them talking about how Edward seemed to hate Bella. I grimaced and did my best to ignore that problem.
When I sat down with Alice, Alice gave me such a big smile. "I got fries today." She told me.
"Yeah, but I got the pizza." Emmett teased. "You like pizza don't you puppy?" I narrowed my eyes at him and did my best to not react to his teasing.
"That's Diana Black." I heard a voice from across the cafeteria and froze for a moment. "She flunked out or something and had to redo her senior year." I let out a breath and then tried to ignore it. "Maybe she thinks hanging around them will make Edward talk with her, but she'll crash and burn. They all do."
"Ugh." I couldn't help by groan at that rumor. Rosalie gave me a small smirk when I made that noise. Alice's fries helped me ignore the stories about me that started to flow. They made me sound stupid and desperate. I entertained the idea of using my claws to slash their tires.
"I don't know, maybe she is dating him but keeping it quiet." Another voice spoke up at the table across the room and I sighed as I went from desperate to sneaky.
I got up after eating the food for the vampires and glanced around the room. I could see Jessica's group's eyes on me and ignored them to look down at my vampire. "Want to head out?"
"Eager to get to PE?" Alice asked me.
"I thought I'd get out of here before the rumors had me sleeping with Emmett." I grimaced playfully and Emmett erupted into laughter. Alice didn't laugh, she didn't even smile. Rosalie had managed a smile at the ridiculousness of that statement. I felt awkward at Alice's reaction and glanced around the cafeteria again. "So, shall we head out?" Alice didn't answer me, but she did get up.
After dumping our trays, I was surprised by cold fingers on my arm. I looked down at the arm and then into serious eyes looking up at me. Alice smiled and held my hand as we left the cafeteria. I couldn't focus on what was said about that, because I was glancing at Jasper. He seemed to be watching Alice, but he just nodded at me and turned back to talking with Emmett and Rosalie.
Alice's fingers gripped my hand a bit tighter just before we got to the door, and she didn't even let go at the door. "Alice?" I asked once the door closed behind us.
Her normally happy and playful expression was darker as she turned to me and her grip on my hand was tighter. "I understand now."
I frowned as I tried to follow that, and we slowly made our way towards the gym. "What?" I finally asked.
"I don't like them thinking you are Edward's." Alice said quietly. "I didn't expect that, because I know it isn't true, we all know that, but it bothered me." Her head leaned forward a little as she watched our feet.
I wondered at how her words, and her being upset, could make me feel so tender and happy, but they did. I smiled softly and used my thumb to caress the hand holding my fingers hostage. I couldn't do more here, because there were still humans wandering around, and she was still thought to be with Jasper. I hated that, but right at this moment I felt like she understood.
"I'll never be anyone else's." I told her gently, reminding her. She looked up to give me a small smile, but I could still see in her eyes she was still a bit upset. I couldn't do anything about that, and thought perhaps I shouldn't even if I could. Her being upset was a good sign that she was becoming mine.