Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC and the four J's - Julian Jones, Jake Michie, Johnny Capps and Julian Murphy. It's not mine. If it were, I'd make Merthur canon!
A/N: So that awful ending of the TV series? In my mind, that never happened. I hope you like what I've done for Merlin and Arthur here. I have gifted you guys with a looooooooong chapter.
I didn't get any reviews for the chapter where Arthur and Merlin made up, so I was a little confused by that but maybe you guys are just saving them for this, the final chapter. I've dedicated a year of my life to this project, and it would be awesome if you could just send me a few words about what the fic has meant to you. Thank you, and enjoy the final chapter (and epilogue) of Merlin's Struggles!
.~.
Chapter 36: The End and The Beginning
.~.
The day following the battle
Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, Gwen, Lance, all of the young knights, Sir Caradoc, Geoffrey of Monmouth, Galahad, and Lochru all gathered in the throne room to discuss the battle. Everyone was so surprised to see Merlin alive. People demanded an explanation as to how he was alive but Merlin didn't give them one. Morgana couldn't stop hugging him, thrilled that her mentor and friend had been returned. She had been devastated by his 'death' and was relieved that she didn't have to become headmistress of the magic school. Merlin carefully shrugged her off, citing the need to breathe. Arthur then quickly called the meeting to order, not wanting people to dwell on the semantics behind Merlin's miraculous return.
"I move that our first order of business is to discuss who lived and who died," said the king. "I myself aren't sure."
Lochru took this opportunity to tell everyone how Caelia had died saving Sir Caradoc's life, and how selfless she'd been when Lochru told her there was a possibility that he and Merlin could let her live. Merlin was deeply saddened by this, but he appreciated that she didn't make him have to choose between saving her and saving Arthur. Lochru also announced that three other of Merlin's students had died - two men and one woman. Merlin knew that there would be casualties, as every battle had them. But he didn't know hearing about his students' deaths would hurt so much. Merlin wished that he'd been able to protect them all, and felt like he'd failed those who had died, especially Caelia.
Much to Merlin's surprise, Rowan had miraculously survived after picking a fight with Osrith. When Rowan burst into the throne room, running late for the meeting, Merlin embarrassed his student by rushing over to him and giving him a fatherly hug. Merlin apologized for the emotional reaction, but after hearing the news about Caelia's death, he was understandably overjoyed that one of his other favorite students had lived. Rowan, to his credit, allowed this display of affection. Then Merlin asked him how he was still alive and Rowan said that he didn't know.
The only thing they could figure was that Osrith had spotted his father locked in battle with Merlin, and he'd left to join them before he could finish off Rowan. Whatever the reason, Rowan was grateful to be alive. Merlin couldn't be more proud of him, for playing his part perfectly in order to trick his uncle and cousins. He was less pleased that Rowan took on his cousin alone, but he was grateful that he'd been able to stall Osrith. If Rowan hadn't done that, it was possible that a united force of Osrith and Xalvador could've killed both Merlin and Arthur.
Sir Gwaine thankfully had lived - his shoulder wasn't severely wounded. The court physician told him that his arm would never be the same, thanks to the dark magic that still lived inside. Unfortunately, it was his sword arm that had been injured. But Gwaine was not discouraged. He simply vowed that he'd learn to fight with his non-dominant arm, and that after some months of training, he'd be back doing his regular job as a knight. Sir Percival promised his friend that he would be Gwaine's training partner, since they worked so well together in battle.
Osgau still lived, but he was locked safely within the magic school. Merlin and Morgana had forced the captured Osrith into the school as well, where he would be held along with his brother. Merlin wished that they would simply kill each other, but he knew that he wasn't that lucky.
"We need to decide their fate," said Arthur. "What sentence should they be given?"
They took a vote, and it was an unanimous decision that Osgau and Osrith would be executed. Arthur scheduled their execution for the following day, charging the two with conspiracy to kill the king and the court sorcerer, as well as illegal use of dark magic. Merlin was relieved that after tomorrow, they'd never have to deal with Rowan's power hungry cousins again.
Several of the older knights had been killed by the dark sorcerers, including Sir Pelleas and Sir Owaine. Arthur tried to feel upset that they had died, but secretly all he felt was relief. Now that these men were dead, he wouldn't have to put up with their prejudices any longer. Not only that, but he had the chance to fill their spots with new, open-minded men.
Sir Caradoc had lived, thanks to Caelia's quick thinking. He was very subdued during the meeting, as he was mourning the loss of his friends, Pelleas and Owaine. Arthur hoped that Caradoc would change his perspective on magic users now that he'd been saved by one. He realized that they'd gone through the list of people who had lived. Now it was on to the next question.
"What of the bandits? Have they been taken care of like we planned?" Arthur asked.
"Yes, your majesty," Rowan promised. "They have agreed to your terms."
While the druids were performing the ceremony on Arthur, Rowan and a band of knights had gone out to meet the few bandits that had remained on the castle grounds, tending to their injured. Rowan offered them a choice, one that Arthur and Merlin had come up with before the battle had been won. They could accept the job of repairing the damage they'd done to Camelot as well as the druids' homes, or they would be executed for treason. The men were surrounded by knights, so they didn't have a chance to leave. None of the bandits wished to be executed so they agreed to help fix the damage that they'd done, as well as to work for the king for an undetermined amount of time to serve their sentence for attacking the kingdom.
"After the druids finished their ceremony, many went to the bandits to offer their healing services for their injured," Rowan informed them. "Their service has been invaluable."
"I never doubted that," said Merlin, looking at Lochru with a smile.
"Ahem. Let's get back to business," said Arthur. "What is the state of the grounds?"
"There's a good amount of rubble, along with some of the dead bodies of the bandits," Geoffrey informed them.
"Is anything being done about that?" Arthur asked.
"Yes. I suggested that the knights and the magic users work together to bury the bodies and fix up the grounds, as well to supervise the bandits' work," said Geoffrey. "They're still at it as we speak."
"And they're getting along?" Merlin sounded skeptical.
"They are for now," said Geoffrey.
"Excellent," said Arthur with a grin, before sobering quickly. "Any other business we need to attend to?"
"What ever happened to that magic ring?" Morgana asked. "The one that Osrith used."
"I've been holding it for safekeeping," Galahad assured them. "I can keep it for you if you want."
"Thank you, but I'll take it from here," Merlin said firmly, confiscating the ring from Galahad. "I've learned that the power of this ring is too great to entrust it to one person. It won't be used again."
Arthur asked if anyone had any other issues to address but no one said a word. The king then dismissed them all, not wanting to make the meeting longer than it had to be. He knew that they, like himself, were very tired from the events of the previous night.
Merlin then took the magic ring deep within the royal vaults, hiding it in a special place only he knew about. He'd learned his lesson, about the ring falling into the wrong hands, even if he'd had the noblest of intentions of giving it to a worthy person. It just wasn't worth the risk, especially since Arthur had almost been killed by it. It was best to leave the ring hidden away, where no one could be tempted by it - not even him. Merlin left it in a locked chest in the ground, magically disfiguring the lock so that no one could open it. He was glad to finally be rid of the ring once and for all.
.~.
The meeting hadn't been adjourned for more than five seconds when Sir Caradoc approached Arthur and took him aside. The king, of course, was thrilled to talk with the knight who had been a thorn in his side for so long.
The knight didn't waste any time on the pleasantries. "Sire, I wish to retire and give up my knighthood," he blurted out.
"Is this about how you were saved by Caelia in the battle?" Arthur asked. "I know being saved by a woman can be a blow to your pride, but you shouldn't let it get to you." The king gave the knight a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "There was one time when I was fifteen and Morgana saved me during a tournament. I moped about it for weeks. I questioned if I was man enough to continue with my training as a knight. It was a very difficult time in my life." Arthur laughed at Caradoc's thunderstruck expression. "I'm only kidding," he said. "And you're not laughing," he said, realizing that Caradoc was not amused.
"No," said Caradoc, giving Arthur a strange look. "This is no laughing matter. I've thought long and hard about this decision. I know myself, Sire, and I still have prejudices against magic, even when it is used for good. It would not be appropriate for me to continue to serve on the force."
"Even after Caelia sacrificed herself to save you, you still can't accept magic users?" Arthur asked, flummoxed by this man's thought processes.
"I do not wish to," said Caradoc, crossing his arms across his chest. "I don't trust them, and I never will. However, I am grateful to the girl for realizing that I, a knight, should've survived and she should've died defending me."
"That's not why she did it," said Arthur, astonished by this man's arrogance. "She saw that you were about to be killed, and tried to make sure it didn't happen. It wasn't because you were a knight, or because you were a noble. She cared about you, if you lived or died, even though you were the one that killed her husband! That is the true sign of nobility."
"That is your opinion," said Caradoc, with a nod.
Arthur couldn't believe the audacity of this man, and took great pleasure in what he said next, trying to keep the glee out of his voice. "Sir Caradoc, I release you from my service and strip you of your knighthood."
"Thank you, Sire," said Caradoc. "I'll be content to live out the rest of my days with my son and his wife." King and former knight stared awkwardly at each other. Arthur felt like he should say something before Caradoc left, to give them a little closure.
"I really appreciate that you came forward," said Arthur. "Not many men would have the courage to do that. Thank you for all your years of service that you gave my father, and the months you gave to me."
Caradoc nodded, and then left the room. Arthur hardly ever saw him after that. The king was perplexed as to why the old knight couldn't accept the magic users, but he supposed that some people would never change. If Arthur was truly honest with himself, he was disappointed to learn that Caradoc wasn't changed by Caelia's sacrifice. But on the bright side, Caradoc was gone and Arthur never had to deal with his prejudices again. Unfortunately, this meant that Arthur was now short yet another knight. But a solution to that problem presented itself easily enough.
It had not gone unnoticed by Arthur and Merlin how well that Galahad had fought in the battle. Yes, he had some magic, but he was an exceptional swordsman and he could hold his own along most of the best knights of the realm. As soon as Arthur was finished talking with Caradoc, he sought out Galahad, who hadn't gone far. Right then and there, Arthur offered him the position as knight-in-training. The young lad eagerly accepted. He couldn't believe his good fortune! It wouldn't be long before he became Sir Galahad, and he'd be the first knight to also have magic. Arthur and Merlin hoped that he could serve as a liaison between the knights and the magic users, as Galahad would have both perspectives. They had no way of knowing that Galahad would be the first of several knights who also had magical abilities, and that these men would be instrumental in ensuring Camelot's safety.
.~.
It was around sunset that Arthur and Merlin stumbled onto the bed, exhausted from the day's work of clearing the square of all traces of the battle. Even with Merlin's students using magic, it still wasn't completely cleaned. But at least all the bodies were gone, and the stain of blood on the cobblestones had been scrubbed away.
"Ugh, I'm so tired I can barely move," Arthur groaned. He wanted to go straight to sleep, but he'd been outside working and he knew that he probably didn't smell so great. He should take a bath, but he felt bad asking Merlin to get it when he knew that his warlock was as just as tired as he was, if not more so. Still, he wished that Merlin would draw him a bath.
"Lucky you have me," said Merlin, who magically readied Arthur's bath. "The water's ready," he informed Arthur.
The king thanked Merlin for his initiative. He quickly stripped down and got into the bath, sighing happily as he relaxed in the warm water. Then he remembered that there was still some tension between him and Merlin. The king and warlock awkwardly stared at each other. It was the first time that Arthur had been naked around Merlin since that awful day.
"Can I join you?" Merlin asked, sounding rather tentative. "I mean, if you're not okay with that, I can-"
"Yes," Arthur said simply, agreeing to much more than just sharing a bath.
Merlin wordlessly removed his clothes and got in the bath. "Arthur," he whispered. "I want-"
"I know," Arthur cut in. "I want it too."
Merlin took this to mean that Arthur was ready for more. The warlock leaned in for a kiss and Arthur eagerly captured his lips with his own. Merlin let out a small sigh as their lips came together. It felt so right! Finally, they were able to express their feelings that they had recently denied. The kiss grew quite heated, and their hands began to roam.
"Wait." Arthur gently pushed Merlin away before things became too heated.
"Why?" Merlin asked, hurt at the minor rejection.
"You haven't told me how you're still alive," Arthur glared at Merlin.
"Oh," said Merlin, realizing why Arthur had wanted to stop. "Err…" He didn't know how he was going to explain that.
"Morgana told me that she was certain you were dead that night, and you just miraculously woke up the next morning? I don't buy it. There's more to the story than that," said Arthur. "Well?"
"Arthur, I don't know if you're ready to hear all that…" Merlin tried. "It's very complicated and-"
"If there's something going on that I don't know about, I need you to tell me," Arthur said. "Please, Merlin. I deserve an explanation. Trust works both ways."
"Alright," Merlin sighed. "I'll tell you."
They finished washing up, dressed in their night clothes, and got comfortable in Arthur's bed.
"I'm ready whenever you are," said Arthur, curling around Merlin's form and snuggly wrapping an arm around his stomach.
"This explanation is going to sound weird and probably a little confusing, but just keep an open mind," Merlin cautioned.
"I will," Arthur promised.
"That night, during the ceremony, the moment you woke up, my soul travelled to this other place," Merlin began. "I don't remember the details, just that it was beautiful and I felt so calm and safe there. When I arrived, I was met by a woman. Arthur, it was your mum!"
"Ygraine was there?" Arthur couldn't believe it.
"Yes. She came to me and told me how proud she was of you, of us, how we managed to stay together even though you had to marry Gwen." Merlin smiled, remembering Ygraine's encouraging words. He wished he could remember them verbatim, but his memory wasn't that good. "She strongly approves of the way you've been running the kingdom, especially that you've been making things more equal for everyone."
"She said she was proud of me?" Arthur sounded hesitant.
"Yes, very much," Merlin assured him. "She said she couldn't have asked for a better son."
Arthur beamed at Merlin, warmed by the compliment. "Go on," said the king.
Merlin did. "I asked her if I was dead, and she said no, but that the sacrifice worked because I believed that I would have to give up my life for yours. She then told me about the full extent of my powers, that I had been born immortal. I was sent here to watch over you for the rest of your life, to guide your reign so that you would unite the lands. When your life ended, I was to stay here and watch over the fate of the world for many centuries until it was time for you to be reincarnated and return to Earth."
"So I would pass on to the afterlife and you would be stuck in the mortal world," said Arthur. "Oh Merlin," the king breathed, concern evident on his fair face as he held his warlock tight. "You don't deserve that!"
"Understandably, I was very upset. I told her that I didn't want that destiny, that I didn't want to be parted from you for so many centuries," Merlin said quietly. "I asked if there was any way to change it. She then said that I could change that fate if I anchored myself to someone mortal who I was close to."
"She better have meant me," Arthur growled.
"Of course, you prat. Who else?" Merlin chuckled at Arthur's reaction. "She said that if I bound myself to you on a soul level and I gave up the full breadth of my immortality, I could live out my years on Earth with you. Then when you eventually died, I could will myself to follow you."
"I'm glad there was an alternative," said Arthur, relieved that Merlin wouldn't have to face that lonely fate, and that he wouldn't have to be without Merlin.
"If I did that, we would share the same life essence and we would both be immortal - relatively speaking. We would still age at a normal rate and we would die when it was our time, but we would be able to heal ourselves from injury and disease," Merlin explained. "I told her that I wanted to talk to you first before I bound us together for all time. But, she said that I wouldn't get the chance, that I'd have to do it if I wanted to ever see you again. She also mentioned that the binding wouldn't work if you didn't want it."
"I hope you did it," Arthur said. "That healing stuff sounds really handy. And then there's the part about you being alive."
"I think I did," said Merlin. "I'm here aren't I?"
"How can we tell for sure?" Arthur wondered.
"Think a thought and direct it at me," Merlin instructed.
/Can you read my thoughts?/ Arthur thought at Merlin.
/Yes. / Merlin heard Arthur in his mind as clear as if he'd spoken. /Can you hear me?/ Merlin asked.
/Yes./ Arthur thought. /This is so strange./
"Arthur, it worked!" Merlin breathed.
"We're really… what's it called...bonded?" Arthur asked.
"Yes."
"And how is it that I can hear you in my head?"
Merlin winced. "The sharing of thoughts, that's a side-effect of the bonding. Don't worry, you'll be able to learn some shielding techniques so you can have your thoughts to yourself. I hope you're not too mad about that part."
"Mad?" Arthur scoffed. "Do you even know how much better sex will be when we can talk to each other with our minds?"
"You would fixate on that bit," sighed Merlin, but nonetheless, he gave Arthur a ridiculous grin. "I'm glad you're not mad."
"Like you said, the bonding wouldn't have worked if I hadn't wanted it too," said Arthur, returning his grin. "I'm just glad that we won't ever have to be parted."
"Me too," Merlin confessed. "You know, your mum said that our most likely future is one where we both live to ripe old ages."
"I hope so," said Arthur. "I can't wait to see what you look like when you're old and gray. You'll probably have a long white beard and be really crotchety."
"And you'll probably look similar to Uther," Merlin shot back, in retaliation for the crotchety comment. "Only bald."
"Hey!" Arthur gently bopped Merlin on the head. "You know I take after my mother. Take that back!"
"Never," Merlin grinned.
This led to an impromptu tickle fight, which Arthur was able to win because Merlin was ticklish just about everywhere.
"So does this mean that we're kind of married?" Arthur asked, after they'd calmed down.
"We're more than that, Arthur! I don't think two people can be closer than this," Merlin said happily. "We may not be together in title, but our souls know the truth."
"And to think you weren't going to tell me about any of this because it was too complicated," said Arthur.
"Sorry," Merlin blushed. "I would've told you about it eventually. I guess I was scared to tell you about the bond."
"Merlin. There was no reason to be scared," said Arthur. "And here I thought I was going crazy, when I would think about asking you to do something and you would do it, like you did with the bath."
"It will take some getting used to," said Merlin. "But it will come in handy in a lot of situations."
"Care to test that theory using thought-speech during sex?"
"Definitely," said Merlin, his heart beginning to speed up just thinking about what all that might entail.
"Well then." Arthur gave Merlin a predatory stare, his voice dipping an octave lower because he knew how that affected Merlin. "Tell me what you want to do."
With his thoughts, Merlin did. Needless to say, their wordless conversation while they made love was a complete success that led to a beautiful new kind of intimacy. Arthur and Merlin eventually drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, the rift between them more than completely healed.
.~.
The following morning
Osgau and Osrith were scheduled to be hanged at dawn. Arthur had made it a rare public execution. People weren't required to attend, but many did, wanting to witness for themselves the end of the dark sorcerers who had tried to take over the kingdom. Rowan had asked to be in the balcony, wanting his cousins to see him allied with the king and court sorcerer as they were sentenced for their crimes. Arthur and Merlin had granted his request, and allowed Rowan to stand with them and Gwen.
Morgana and all of Merlin's students were present as the guards led Osgau and Osrith from the magic school to the execution in the square.
The guards didn't have much to do. Osgau and Osrith knew when they were beat. They voluntarily walked up to the nooses, and allowed the ropes to be tucked around their heads.
"Any last words?" Arthur asked.
"I curse you, Arthur Pendragon, for killing my father!" Osrith cried. "There are other sorcerers like us who are still out there, biding their time to take over the kingdom."
Osgau continued, "They'll go after the person you love most in this world - your wife. She'll never be safe. When you least expect it, they'll strike and kill her and your heir."
Gwen gasped in horror. The queen's hands automatically went to her stomach. She glanced over at Arthur, who placed a steadying hand on her stomach, and Merlin, who quietly assured her that they'd never get close to her child.
"Kill them," Arthur instructed, nodding at the executioner.
"Send them back to hell where they belong," Merlin added.
The ground dropped out from under the brothers and it wasn't long before they had stopped moving. "Let that be a lesson to all those who might consider using dark sorcery," Merlin warned as the guards cut the bodies down. "It won't be tolerated in this kingdom. Anyone who uses it to harm others will end up just like they did."
A low murmuring could be heard throughout the crowd, before they began to disperse. Merlin nodded at Arthur. He hoped that they'd gotten through to their subjects, that dark sorcery was not acceptable and that anyone who used it to harm someone would be punished.
Rowan then asked Merlin if he could have time off from his serving duties until further notice while he tried to make sense of what had happened with his family. Merlin granted this wish, knowing Rowan needed some time to himself. But he hoped that Rowan didn't take too long - he really didn't want to have to look for another servant for him and Arthur. The less people who knew the truth about him and Arthur, the better.
.~.
Galahad approached Merlin after the execution.
"You wished to speak with me?" Merlin asked.
"Yes. I was hoping that we could go some place private."
"I was going to take a walk in the woods to clear my head," said Merlin. "It's been a hectic morning. You're more than welcome to come along."
"Thanks." Galahad wordlessly followed Merlin as they left the castle and made their way down the dirt path that led to the forest.
"What is it?" Merlin asked, after he made sure there wasn't a soul in sight.
"I just wanted to make sure you didn't miss the golden opportunity that the dark sorcerers gave you by cursing the queen." Galahad wore a slightly mischievous smile.
"What are you talking about?" Merlin asked.
"Well, for one, I think it's great that they believe that Guinevere is the person that matters most to Arthur. We both know that's a lie." Galahad chuckled and Merlin's eyes almost bugged out of his skull. "Now, if it were me, I would assign Sir Lancelot as the queen's official protector," Galahad suggested. "That way they have an excuse to spend most of their time together. Especially when the baby is born - Lancelot will need a reason to be around his son." Galahad gave him a knowing look.
"What you speak of is treason," Merlin ground out, terrified that they'd all been found out. "You have no proof of these accusations."
"No, I don't," said Galahad. "But I spoke with Caelia earlier on the day that she was killed. She'd figured out that you'd used her to fabricate the lie, that the heir was Arthur's when Gwen was already pregnant with Lancelot's child. Caelia wanted me to tell you that she didn't blame you for using her to spread the rumor, and that she thought your plan was a good one."
"What do you want in payment for keeping quiet about this?" Merlin said wearily. "Money? A title? Land?"
"I don't want anything!" Galahad insisted, hurt that Merlin automatically assumed the worst. "I just wanted to help you and the king. I want the best for Camelot. You see, I found something out that might put a wrench in your plans. The other night, I was at the tavern. The knights were there drinking and I overheard Sir Gwaine telling Sir Percival that Gwen's baby was going to have magic. Sir Gwaine thought that was odd, since Gwen and Arthur have no known relatives with magic, but that Lancelot had a grandfather who had the gift." Galahad gave Merlin a knowing look.
"I'm going to fucking murder Gwaine," Merlin muttered.
"So it is true," Galahad breathed, correctly interpreting Merlin's reaction. "The baby is Lancelot's. I knew it!"
"If you so much as think about telling anyone, I'll kill you myself," Merlin threatened, hoping that he wouldn't have to go through with it. He'd seen enough violence in the battle for many lifetimes.
"Relax," said Galahad, holding up his hands. "You just need a good cover story, when it comes out that the baby has magic. Something you can say to prove that the child is Arthur's."
"I've got it!" Merlin exclaimed. "Arthur was conceived by magic itself. Perhaps that would do the trick to explain why his child would have magic."
"Arthur was conceived by magic? Really?" Galahad seemed delighted, then shook his finger at the court sorcerer. "You are not very good at keeping secrets, Merlin."
"No, that was the lie I'm going to tell the people to explain why the baby has magic," Merlin countered, but Galahad saw right through him.
"Merlin, you can trust me. I also wanted to tell you that I fully support you and Arthur's relationship." Merlin opened his mouth to speak but Galahad stopped him. "No, please don't deny it. I saw you kiss him the night of the ceremony after you proclaimed your love."
"Yes, well, that was just-" Merlin floundered, trying to think on his feet. "I thought I was about to die. Just because I did that doesn't mean that Arthur returns those feelings."
"Merlin, I've seen the way he looks at you," Galahad said knowingly. "I know you two are together. It's not a big deal to me."
"To most people, two men together is a big deal," Merlin said, still not confirming or denying what Galahad said.
"I just don't think I have the right to judge how people live their lives. Uther thought that he did, and look how that turned out with the purge against magic. As long as you and Arthur continue to be exemplary leaders, I could care less what happens behind closed doors." Galahad gave Arthur an encouraging nod. "I promise you can trust me."
"I'll try. I'm sorry that I'm so suspicious," said Merlin. "I trusted Rowan, and look how that turned out."
"I understand," said Galahad.
"Thank you for your support," Merlin said finally. "It means more to me than you could know. You just took me by surprise."
"I'm so grateful to the king for giving me a shot at knighthood," said Galahad. "If you ever need a personal guard who knows your secret, I would be happy to help."
"Arthur and I both believe you have what it takes to become a knight," said Merlin. "And actually, a personal guard would be appreciated right now. Our servant has been on hiatus," said the warlock, referring to Rowan. "He's having a bit of a personal crisis, and at the moment, he has refused to do his usual duties for Arthur and I."
"I've been talking to Rowan today," said Galahad. "I've been trying to get through to him. He's having a hard time of it. He's lost the only family he's ever had, even if they did have a strained relationship."
"He needs a friend," said Merlin.
"I'll look after him," Galahad promised. "He's confused as hell after being raised by someone like Xalvador. But he made the right choice in the end. Did you have something to do with that?"
"I showed him that his father was Uther's court sorcerer, before the purge," said Merlin. "That made Rowan believe that he was entitled to a high ranking position in the king's household. I told him that if he worked for our side and convinced his uncle to come attack us when we were ready for him, that Arthur would pardon his crimes and that he'd be given a special position. I was, of course, lying about the position."
"Maybe you weren't. I've got an idea," Galahad grinned.
.~.
Later that day, Rowan reported to the king's chambers to meet with Merlin.
"You wished to see me?" Rowan asked.
"Yes. I wanted to tell you that the king has honored our deal. He has given you a full pardon for all of your previous crimes," said Merlin. "We appreciated all you did for us before and during the battle."
"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Rowan cried. "Now I'll finally be free of Xalvador and the shadow he's cast on my life."
"There's something else. You told me you wanted a position of power, so I made one for you," said Merlin. "From this day forward, you'll have the pleasure of being Head of Camelot's sanitation department."
"No, that's not necessary!" Rowan was horrified.
"No, I insist," Merlin said evilly. "If you prove yourself to be worthy of that position, then we can talk about giving you a different job. But for now…"
"Please, Merlin, anything but that!" Rowan begged. "I worked as a stable boy for far too long to know that sanitation is the last thing I'd ever want to deal with. I'd much rather be your and Arthur's servant."
"But what about your fear? What if you caught Arthur and I doing something untoward?" Merlin pressed, hiding a smile.
"You know I wouldn't want to see that. You wouldn't be so careless," Rowan realized.
"No, we wouldn't," said Arthur, stepping out of the adjoining room to stand beside Merlin.
"Your majesty!" Rowan colored as he realized that Arthur had been listening the entire time. "I didn't mean to…"
"It's alright," Arthur soothed. "I'm aware that you aren't comfortable with the idea of Merlin and I… being together. That's fine. We'll make sure that we won't engage in any public displays of affection when you're around. I'm just happy to hear that you're going to continue to be our servant."
"Me too," Rowan admitted. "Although it's not a position I want to have forever. I mean…" He tried to recover, not wanting to sound ungrateful in front of the king. "Not that I don't enjoy it, it's just that..."
"You have aspirations to be something more than a servant," said Arthur. "That is commendable. We know that, Rowan. It won't be forever."
"Thanks," Rowan said quietly. "Umm, do you think I might be able to read your mother's diary sometime? I'd like to find out more about my mother and father and what their lives were like here."
"Yes," said Arthur. "Merlin and I want to finish reading it first, but when we're finished, you can borrow it."
"I appreciate it." Rowan turned to go, but Arthur called after him.
"Rowan?" Arthur's voice made the boy turn around. "For what it's worth, I wanted to apologize for my father's actions. He never should've killed your father. Uther had no excuse for his behavior. I wish I could do something to make it up to you."
"There is a painting of my parents standing next to yours," Rowan said, trying not to sound too eager. "Perhaps I could-"
"It's yours," Arthur declared as Merlin went to go get it.
"Thank you, Sire," Rowan said respectfully.
"Just Arthur," said the king. "I think you've earned that right."
"Yes, Sire," Rowan said quickly and Arthur hid a smile. Merlin appeared with the painting, and all three of them admired the artist's work. There was an incredible likeness of Uther and Ygraine, as well as Rowan's parents, Hannah and Ruadhan. Rowan then cast a shrinking spell on the painting to make it easier for transportation.
"You may go," Arthur dismissed him. Rowan hurried out of the room, clutching the painting of his parents as if it were more precious than gold.
"That went well," Merlin remarked.
"I enjoyed the part where you made him the head of the sanitation department," said Arthur with a twinkle in his eye.
"That was Galahad's idea," Merlin admitted. He told Arthur all about what Galahad had figured out about them. "He seems genuine enough," said Merlin.
"So did Rowan," said Arthur, trying not to seem too bitter.
"I think we can trust him to keep his mouth shut. He had a good idea about Lancelot," Merlin admitted, telling Arthur about what Galahad had said about assigning the knight to be Gwen's personal protector. "It would be a way for them to be together without the public realizing what was really going on."
"Agreed," said Arthur. "We can make that happen."
"What about the fact that the baby has magic?" Merlin worried.
"We could spread a rumor that Gwen had a magical relative on her mother's side," said Arthur. "It shouldn't be that hard for people to believe."
Merlin nodded, enjoying just looking at his king.
"Do I have something on my face?" Arthur asked, a little unnerved by Merlin's intent look.
"What? No," said Merlin.
"You're staring at me." Arthur caught him in the act.
"Maybe," Merlin admitted. "I'm just glad things are finally going well between us."
"I am too," said Arthur, and drew Merlin into his arms for a hug. He totally ruined the moment by releasing Merlin and changing the subject. "So I was thinking about our new council. With twelve knights, you, me, Morgana, Gwen, and Geoffrey, the long table just doesn't seem fitting. I just don't know how to fix that. Maybe have two separate tables? But that would just make things more confusing. We'd have to repeat ourselves. Argh, this is so frustrating! There has to be something we can do to make this easier on ourselves," Arthur lamented.
Suddenly, inspiration struck Merlin. "What if we used a table that was round?"
"Why? So that everyone would have equal standing?" Arthur asked.
"No, so that we'd be able to see and hear everyone," said Merlin. "It's very practical."
"Ah," said Arthur. "Good point. A round table - interesting. I like it! I'll have our carpenters get on that right away. You know, every once in awhile, Merlin, you do have intelligent ideas."
"Thanks," said Merlin, gladdened by Arthur's response but still expecting a trick. "What's the occasion for the compliment?"
"So, I was thinking, about the round table," Arthur began.
"No, Arthur," Merlin said, exasperated. He knew exactly where this was going. "We're not having sex on it."
"Aw, why not?" Arthur pouted.
"You promised," Merlin reminded him.
"You're no fun," Arthur grumbled, but he remembered how he promised earlier not to try and talk Merlin into something he didn't feel comfortable doing. So he stopped. "It really is a good idea, though."
"I thought so," said Merlin, trying not to sound too pleased with himself.
"So when is your school going to start up again?" Arthur asked. Merlin's students - those who weren't injured - were still assisting with the rebuilding process, helping the knights return the city to the way it was before the battle.
"I think we'll start up on Monday," said Merlin. "My students will have today and tomorrow off for the weekend, and then we can resume our lessons. I think it's important to return to our regular routine as soon as possible. I know we've lost people, but life goes on. Each day, we have a chance to make the world a better place."
"I agree," said Arthur. "Speaking of making the world a better place - I'm calling another council meeting tomorrow. I've decided that it's time that I take steps towards uniting our kingdom with those of our neighbors. I've put it off long enough. Since my mother reminded you that it was my destiny, I believe that it's time that I start working towards it. There's also the fact that we were somewhat vulnerable during the battle. I would've breathed a lot easier if we knew we had allies that we could count on to help us."
"I'm so glad to hear that," said Merlin, relieved that Arthur was ready to start working towards their ultimate goal. "I know it will take a lot of work and probably a lot of diplomacy. You'll have to spend long hours meeting with the four other kings, finding out what they want in order for the merger to happen. I'll be teaching at the school, so you'll have to pay attention yourself since I won't be there to remember everything for you." Merlin gave Arthur a knowing look.
"I can handle it," Arthur assured him. "I think a part of me will always find meetings to be dull, but now I understand why they are necessary. It is exciting to think that I'll be the one responsible for uniting our lands. It will be beneficial for us, and it will be beneficial for the other kingdoms as well. In the end, everyone will win. I'm sure the negotiations will be tedious, but it will be worth it in the end. Just imagine it, Merlin! All five kingdoms at peace, where everyone has the opportunity to pursue their hopes and dreams. Where the rulers will be just and fair, and the people will have all of their basic needs met. That is what I want for all under my protection."
"I have no doubt that eventually you will make it happen," said Merlin.
"Only if you're by my side," said Arthur.
"I'll be there," Merlin promised. "You know, if you ever do get bored during the meetings, you can always talk to me in your head."
Arthur grinned at him. "That sounds great. But I thought you were all about me being responsible."
"Everyone needs a little fun now and then. Even kings," Merlin insisted. They were quiet for awhile, each contemplating their long journey to where they were today.
"Can you believe that you came to Camelot almost four years ago, looking for work as Gaius's apprentice?" Arthur asked, voicing exactly what Merlin had been thinking about.
"Has it really been that long?" Merlin wondered.
"Yes."
"Well, I guess time flies when you're working for a prat like you," said Merlin.
"I had to deal with an idiot servant who wouldn't even tell me he had magic," Arthur countered. "Much less that he loved me."
"We've come a long way," Merlin remarked. "And you know what?"
"What?" Arthur humored him.
"I've enjoyed every step of the way."
Arthur brought his forehead to rest against Merlin's. "I'm so glad we're together. I didn't know what I was missing until I found you." /I love you, Merlin Emrys./ Arthur thought. /Forever./
/Forever./ Merlin echoed as they sealed it with a kiss.
.~.
The next day
That morning, Arthur had an insight that might help Merlin concerning his fear about using dark magic; consult with the druids. Merlin thought this would be wise, and went to speak with Lochru after breakfast.
"What can I do for you, Emrys?" The druid was happy to see him, and felt honored that Merlin would seek his council.
"I wanted to ask your opinion on something," said Merlin. "I want to learn how to manage my anger, as well as my other emotions. Even though I'm not under the influence of dark magic, I know I still have that capacity to lose it. I want to be in control of my actions as much as possible. Do you have any suggestions?"
"I would recommend daily meditation," said Lochru.
"I thought you'd say that. Could you teach me how?" Merlin requested.
"I'd be glad to," said Lochru with a smile. "My kind meditates every morning at sunrise. Since some of us will be staying in the castle while our homes are being rebuilt, you can join us. Then, when we leave, you can do the practice on your own."
"Thanks," said Merlin, inwardly groaning that he'd have to rise so early. "I'm still not sure I believe in the effectiveness of meditation, and it sounds really difficult. But I'm willing to give it a try."
"It is difficult when you first start. It's hard to clear your mind, as you're used to having your thoughts run uncontrolled. But when you do it correctly, you feel connected to the earth and all that is," said Lochru. "It is an incredible feeling, and you become at peace with yourself. All of your fear is erased and instead you feel love."
"That sounds great," Merlin admitted. "It is really important to me that I feel more in control of my emotions. I owe it to Arthur and my students, but mostly I owe it to myself."
"Well, it seems you're properly motivated. I'll see you tomorrow morning in the gardens," said Lochru.
"You can count on it," said Merlin, glad to be taking a step that could lead to emotional freedom.
.~.
The next day
Just as he'd planned, Arthur called a meeting of the council. After he called everyone to order, he shared the idea of the round table.
"I have decided to commision a round table for us. It will be our special table, to use while we hold meetings."
"Ah, so we can have equal standing?" Morgana asked. "So no one will be sitting higher than another?"
"Exactly," said Arthur with a nod.
/I thought we're getting the table so we could all hear and see everyone better./ Merlin thought at his bonded.
/Shut up, you./ Arthur thought amiably. /Equal standing sounds better./
"Wow, a round table!" Sir Gwaine enthused. "That's certainly different. I think we should have a special name for us. How about, the Knights of the Round Table?"
"I like that," said Sir Percival, immediately agreeing with Gwaine.
"I agree" added Sir Leon.
All the knights quickly voiced their approval. Unfortunately for them, Arthur shot that down.
"No, I don't think that would be appropriate," said the king. "Merlin's not included in that," Arthur pointed out. Then he remembered the rest of the people who were in the room. He inwardly berated himself for the slip, for favoring Merlin over Gwen. Oh well, he thought. It wouldn't be the first time it happened, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. "Neither are Queen Guinevere, Lady Morgana, or Geoffrey. I think we should be known as the Council of the Round Table."
The knights weren't as pleased with that title - it just didn't have the same ring to it. But since Arthur was their king, they agreed with what he said. Thus, they were known to the people as the Council of the Round Table.
With that out of the way, Arthur made a very important announcement, one that he hadn't talked to Gwen or Lancelot about. He and Merlin wanted to make it a surprise.
"I haven't forgotten about the threat that the dark sorcerer made towards Guinevere," Arthur began. "I'm taking it very seriously - there are sure to be other dark wizards out there that wish to cause us harm. I can't be there to protect her every minute of the day. Therefore, I wish to appoint someone as my wife's personal guard and protector. They will hardly ever leave her sight to ensure her safety. I've decided that Sir Lancelot would be the best choice. Do you accept this position?" Arthur asked, hiding a smile as Lancelot's eyes widened. The knight looked as if the Yuletide had come early.
"Yes, Sire," said Lancelot, not trying to sound too eager. "I accept."
"Excellent," said Arthur, nodding at the knight. Now, Lancelot would forever be in his debt. Arthur looked forward to cashing that in someday. "Now that's taken care of, I wished to talk about the main reason why I called us here. I'm going to start a campaign to unite our lands with those of our neighboring kingdoms. I need everyone's full support on this. Are you with me?"
Every single person there answered with a loud resounding yes, but the one Arthur was most concerned with was the one that he heard in his mind.
THE END
.~.
Epilogue
.~.
It soon became common knowledge that Sir Leon was courting Lady Morgana. Arthur had called them before him, and asked Leon why he hadn't asked the king's permission to court Morgana. Leon had stammered out an excuse, claiming he didn't know that he needed to ask. Arthur had laughed, and told Leon that he had his blessing to court Morgana. Arthur was happy for her, as she'd waited so long to find love. He knew that Leon would be a man worthy of her character. It wasn't long before Morgana and Leon had announced their engagement.
.~.
Their plan to make Lancelot Gwen's protector worked like a charm. It was, like Galahad had said, a wonderful excuse for them to spend time together. Now they had a good reason to bring in an additional bed to the king's chambers. The new bed was placed in Merlin's room, alongside Merlin's smaller bed. The official reason was that Merlin and Lancelot would bunk in the adjoining room, to be nearby in case anyone tried to threaten Arthur or Gwen, who were sleeping together in the main chamber. Each night, Rowan and Galahad made sure that they are all locked in before Merlin and Gwen switched places. Merlin got to sleep with Arthur in the main chamber and Gwen and Lance pushed the beds together in the adjoining chamber. This way, both couples got to sleep with each other, and no one was the wiser. Rowan and Galahad unlocked the king's chambers in the mornings, and roused the foursome from sleep. No one was allowed in until Arthur, Merlin, Lancelot, and Gwen were dressed. Needless to say, both couples were very happy with this arrangement.
.~.
It took a few weeks before the beautifully finished oak round table was ready. It was so large and heavy that it took all twelve knights to bring it into the throne room. Arthur called the first meeting that day, and drew up a code of chivalry that all the members had to agree to before they could be a part of the historic council.
Somehow, Arthur had talked Merlin into 'christening' the round table. Merlin made sure that the doors to the room were well guarded before he allowed any sort of hanky panky. They had compromised and Arthur promised to only take things as far as Merlin wanted. The warlock enjoyed kissing Arthur on the surface of the object that symbolized the great future of Camelot. It would be a special memory for them both to have, to think of when they were stuck in long council meetings.
.~.
As they all expected, Gwen and Lancelot's baby was born a few weeks early, but luckily no one suspected anything out of the ordinary. He was named Thomas, after Gwen's late father. They had considered naming him Arthur, but the king had strongly objected to that, not wanting to invite confusion by having two Arthurs running around. But they did make Arthur his middle name, which pleased the king to no end.
Thomas Arthur Pendragon was the talk of the kingdom. Nobles came from far and wide to bring expensive gifts for the young prince, no doubt trying to find favor with his father. Merlin, after checking each item for spells, placed them in the vaults.
Gwen easily took to being a mother, and Lancelot got nearly as much time with the baby as Gwen did. Yes, his fatherhood had to be kept secret, but Lancelot understood why it had to be that way. They of course stuck with the fabrication that Arthur was Thomas's father. They all decided that they would tell Thomas the truth about his parentage when he came of age, when he would be old enough to handle it. Merlin had an inkling that Thomas would figure it out before then, since his mother spent more of her time with Lancelot and the king spent more of his time with Merlin.
Arthur and Merlin made sure to take time out of their busy schedules to spend with the baby. They enjoyed the chance to play with Thomas, while Gwen and the nurses took care of the real responsibilities. Thomas was one lucky baby, who had four dedicated parents to help care for him. They would all be there to guide him on the journey to one day becoming the future king and follow in the footsteps of King Arthur, who had united the five kingdoms and brought peace and prosperity to the land.
.~.
End of epilogue
A/N: That's all folks… well, maybe you'll get a bonus chapter. Please review let me know what you think of this chapter, as well as the fic in general. This is my last full length fanfiction. I've decided to work on an original story of my own, in hopes that one day it will get published. However, I won't be able to give up Arthur and Merlin completely. I'm planning on writing a few oneshots about them, whenever I feel like it. Thanks for sticking with me for a wonderful year as I wrote this story of adventure, comedy, and of course, epic romance.
A/N 2: So I was hesitant to post this author's note because I ultimately want this to be about Arthur and Merlin's story and not myself, but what the hell. I've been using Merlin's experiences with dark magic as a direct parallel with my own struggles with having bipolar disorder. A lot of what he's gone through is true to my own experience (well, not the almost rape part! just, no.) I didn't give him irrational and/or grandiose thoughts or have him hearing voices, but the magnification of his emotions was very true for me. Those few paragraphs where Merlin describes what it's like being stuck within your body when the dark magic takes over was a way for me to convey my perspective of what it was like during a bipolar (manic or high) episode. This story has been very therapeutic for me. Merlin was ultimately able to overcome his inner demons (there will be more about this in the final chapter.) and so was I, so yay for that!
I'd like to dedicate this fic to anyone who has or knows a friend or family member with bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, or any other kind of mental illness. I'm living proof that it's possible to overcome it and have a normal life. It was a really difficult recovery process, but now that I'm on meds that work, I've been stable for over a year and a half now. I have my writing, a good steady job, the best amazing fantastic supportive boyfriend in the world, and a family who has stuck by me through my worst and best. If you have any questions about my experience or mental illness in general, feel free to PM me. I'd love to help. I feel like the stigma around mental illness is finally starting to go away now that people are talking about it more. This is a great thing! The more information you know about something, the less scary it has to be. So that's enough of my soap box. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I loved writing it!