Blindsided Chapter 35: Butterfly
. . .
Ally woke to Juliette's soft cries in the morning a week after she was born. She made her way into the nursery next to her bedroom and carefully picked up the crying baby. Juliette had wriggled out of the blanket she was wrapped up in to sleep and it fell from Ally's hands as she lifted the fussy infant. She located the blanket again and lay it over the side of the crib so she could find it easily later. She changed a diaper and then settled into the rocking chair to feed Juliette.
She had burped the baby and was just holding her when she heard Austin come up the stairs and pop his head into the room.
"I thought I would be back before you two got up." Austin said. "How long have you been awake?"
"Not long. How was your run?" Ally asked.
"Good. Chester loves this new morning routine." Austin said. "He's down emptying his water bowl now. Are you alright if I eat something and then shower?"
"No problem. We're just cuddling now and then I'll have breakfast in a while." Ally said.
"Come down and eat with me then. We can put Juliette in the baby swing." Austin suggested.
"Okay." Ally agreed. Once Juliette was settled she sat down to the bowl of cereal Austin poured for her.
"So Trish is coming over this afternoon while I'm in class?" Austin asked.
"Yes. And my mom is coming tomorrow and your mom the next day." Ally listed off. "I almost feel like I'm being babysat."
"It's not that. Everyone is excited about the baby." Austin said.
"And worried about me."
"My mom told me that having a new baby can be overwhelming sometimes and they just want to help. No one knows what this is like for you. At least we have plenty of support for you while I go back to classes for the next few weeks." Austin said.
"Yeah." Ally agreed weakly.
They finished breakfast and then Austin got ready for school. He left after confirming that Ally was fine, Trish was on her way, and dropping a soft kiss on his baby's head while she slept.
Ally picked up her phone and called Jeanine, her old friend from the training center and Elliott's mom.
They chatted for a few minutes and Jeanine was happy to hear about the baby.
"But there's something bothering you." Jeanine said after a few minutes.
"Yes. I . . ." Ally hesitated.
"Spit it out, girl. You know you can be honest with me." Jeanine prodded.
"Austin has to finish up this semester of classes and starting today I have someone coming over to help me every single day while he's gone. And I feel like I'm the one being babysat. I know I should be grateful for all the help and the people around who love us and care for us, and I am. Really. It's just that sometimes I feel like everyone is waiting for me to mess up, so there is extra pressure to do things well." Ally said.
Jeanine sighed. "I know how that feels, and it doesn't really go away. You just have to let it roll off your back and not let it get to you. That's easier said than done, but it's true."
"You've felt this way?"
"Plenty of times. Sometimes I still do. You and I both know that you are capable and strong. But you have a whole new thing to learn and deal with right now with this baby. So listen, here is the important part: letting people help you isn't a sign a weakness. It's just letting them be part of your life."
Tears pricked Ally's eyes and inwardly she cursed her overactive hormones left over from the pregnancy. "Okay."
"How you feel is normal okay? And anytime you want to talk I am here. If I remember any tips and tricks for dealing with babies and kids that I haven't told you yet I will let you know. Just trust yourself. You and that baby of yours are going to be just fine." Jeanine reassured her.
"Thanks Jeanine." Ally said.
"No problem. Now go kiss that little one for me." Jeanine ordered.
Ally laughed at the no nonsense approach of the older woman she looked up to. "I will. Bye."
She hung up, took a deep breath and went over to the baby swing. She listened to the light clicking sound it made as it swished through the air. Quieter, but underneath its noise she could hear the low steady breathing of her sleeping baby. She loved that sound.
The doorbell rang, jolting Ally from her meditative thoughts. She went to the door and let Trish in. Juliette's cries from the kitchen called them back.
"Oops. I shouldn't have rung the bell, should I?" Trish asked as they walked down the hallway.
"Probably not. But since you woke her you have to entertain her." Ally said.
"No problem." Trish said. She picked up the fussy infant and the two of them went to the front room to chat and hang out while Trish held the baby a bit.
"I can't believe my dad has given up so much of the management to you. That's a big deal for him." Ally commented when they discussed Trish's job at Sonic Boom.
"I was surprised too, but he seems happy." Trish said. "There's something else good about work though."
"What?" Ally asked.
"Gabe."
"Who is Gabe?"
"He just became manager at the jewelry store two doors down from Sonic Boom. We kept running into each other at the food court on our lunch breaks and he asked me out a few weeks ago. We've gone out four times now." Trish said.
"No way! I had no idea you were dating again." Ally said.
"Yeah, well, I wasn't going to stay heartbroken over Jace forever. He may have been my first love but it's been almost 6 months since we broke up. I was thinking about putting myself out there again, and suddenly, there was Gabe." Trish said.
Ally could hear the smile in her voice. "You sound happy."
"I am. He's so great Ally." Trish gushed.
"Well, you tell me when you are ready for him to meet us and we'll have you over or go out together." Ally said.
"I'd like that." Trish said.
. . .
Every few days Ally gave Juliette a bath. It was their special bonding time. With warm water in a small bowl and a very soft cloth, Ally carefully cleaned the infant's body. Then she massaged baby lotion into her skin. The first few times she did this with Austin's help, Juliette was squirmy and slightly fussy since she preferred being wrapped up nice and warm in a blanket. But now, at a month old, Juliette lay still in her diaper, cooing occasionally as her mother rubbed the lotion on.
Ally dressed her in a onesie and then wrapped her up, sitting down in the rocking chair for a little cuddle time. She slowed her breathing, letting the sound and steady rise and fall of her chest soothe and lull the baby she held there. When Juliette was asleep Ally lay her down in her crib and quietly left the room.
She went downstairs where Austin was doing homework at the kitchen table.
"How is it going?" Ally asked, sitting in an empty chair.
"Okay. I just can't wait for finals to be done in two weeks." Austin said. He sounded tired. "Is Juliette asleep already?"
Ally felt her watch for confirmation. "Its 7pm, her usual bedtime."
"It is? Wow. I haven't made dinner yet." he groaned. "I was supposed to do that while you gave her a bath. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just call for pizza or something." Ally said. "You did take Chester out for a run though, right?"
"I did." Austin confirmed.
"Hey." Ally said and reached out a hand to him. He took it and gave her fingers a squeeze. "You are almost done. Finals will be over before you know it. I'm proud of you."
Austin lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. "This was so much easier when we took classes together. I miss that."
"About that. I've been thinking and I don't know if I want to do regular school classes again. I just want to focus on Juliette and our family right now. Is that bad?" Ally asked.
"Why would that be bad? As long as you are happy, I'm good. School is up to you." Austin said.
"I'll never stop learning though. I like to read too much." Ally said.
"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me." Austin assured her. "Do you want me to order that pizza?"
"Yes. I'm hungry." Ally said. "After we eat you should relax a bit and give your brain a rest. You can watch something and I'll cuddle with you and fall asleep."
"You think you can just tell me what to do?" Austin teased her.
"Did you have something else in mind?" she challenged.
"No. It's a good plan." he agreed. "Oh, and before I forget, Dez texted me more about the wedding."
"Okay, what's going on? They didn't postpone again did they?" Ally asked.
"No, it's still set for June 1st." Austin confirmed. "Since I'm the best man he needs me there for the dress rehearsal the night before but you don't have to worry about that. And you and Juliette will sit with my parents for the ceremony. Carrie said if we want to put Juliette in a frilly white dress she will match the flower girls and ring bearer. She sent a picture to my mom so she can get the dress."
"So I just have to show up and look pretty." Ally surmised.
"Yep. And you're already great at that, so we're all set." Austin said.
. . .
With school finished for the time being, Austin spent the first half of June in the recording studio at Starr records. He and Ally spent half of her pregnancy working on new songs for him to release that summer and Jimmy Starr was anxious to get Austin doing shows again. The star was just as eager to get out in front of an audience. After some discussion, it was decided that the focus would be on Austin alone. Ally wanted to sit out this time but she and Juliette would travel with Austin wherever he went.
During August and early September Austin did shows in 10 cities. He didn't sign up for fall classes, opting to take some time to focus on his family and music for the time being. While they were out on the road Ally readjusted to tour life with the rather large change of doing so with a baby. They made it work, however, and had a good time, getting out and about in different cities when Austin had a free day.
It was on the tour bus that Ally made an interesting discovery one night. Austin volunteered to put Juliette to bed while she had some time to read. She listened to a book on her laptop for a few minutes but got too warm and wanted to pull her hair up off her neck. She didn't have an elastic with her so she quietly walked back into the area where the beds were. As soon as she walked through the door she heard Austin quietly singing. This wasn't unusual, but as she listened she recognized the song as one she had written a long time ago when she was just a child. She had no idea how Austin could know it.
Austin sang: "You're my little butterfly. Spread your colorful wings. Even though you're small and frail, you can do most anything. Caterpillar in your cocoon. You're gonna be a butterfly soon. You're my little butterfly. You can soar through the sky. You're my butterfly. yeah. You're my butterfly." He sang soft and slow. When he finished she heard movement and then an intake of breath.
"Ally? Is everything okay?" he whispered.
"Fine. I need a hair elastic." she answered just as quietly.
"Hold on." he pressed one into her hand and took her elbow, leading her back to the main part of the bus where she had been reading.
"Where did you learn that song?" She asked when they were a closed door away from their sleeping daughter.
"Are you mad?" he asked.
"Just confused. How do you know it?" she asked again.
"I found an old file on your computer the other day when I was looking up one of the new tracks we've been working on. I was curious and I opened it. Your old music was there along with a video of you singing it as a little girl. I just, it made me think of Juliette and I liked it so I changed a few words to make it about her." Austin explained. "By the way, you were seriously cute as a kid. Not that you aren't cute now too, but it's different."
"Nice save. I had forgotten about that song. It was the first one I wrote, way back in 1st grade." Ally said.
"You wrote it? I thought it was something you learned for school or something."
"Nope. It was the first Ally Dawson original." she said with pride.
"Well Juliette likes it as a lullabye. I've been singing it to her for a couple of weeks and it always puts her right to sleep." Austin said.
"That's nice. Just tell me next time you want to steal one of my songs." Ally said.
"I promise." Austin said.
. . .
Ally fiddled with her purse anxiously in the front seat of Austin's car. He reached a hand out to hold hers.
"Hey, everything is going to be fine." he assured her.
"I know. I can't help it though. It's our first time away from her." Ally said.
"It feels a little strange, I'll admit, like something is missing. But my parents know what they are doing, since I'm clearly still alive, and this will be good for us." Austin said.
"Okay." Ally took a deep breath.
They were driving away from the Moon's house, having left Juliette in the care of her grandparents for one night so they could celebrate their second wedding anniversary.
Austin and Ally ate dinner at the same restaurant where they had their first date. This time no drinks were spilled. They spent some time reminiscing over the five years since that date as seventeen year olds and how far they've come.
It was raining however, so Austin's original plans to walk on the beach after dinner had to be abandoned. He surprised Ally by renting a room for the night at an upscale hotel in Miami. They went to their room early, ordered some dessert from room service, and spent some time focusing on each other.
Later that night Ally lay against Austin's side, her arm slung across his stomach, her head resting on his shoulder, and their legs tangled under the sheets, enjoying the warmth of his skin against hers. Rain pattered against the window and they occasionally heard the low rumble of thunder in the distance.
Austin began to sing an old Edwin Mccain song Ally liked. "Lying here with you, listening to the rain." he paused.
"Smiling just to see the smile upon your face." Ally sang the next line.
"These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive." Austin continued and kissed Ally's forehead.
"And these are the moments I'll remember all my life." Ally responded.
"I found all I've waited for, and I could not ask for more." Austin finished the first verse and squeezed Ally tight with the arm resting under her shoulders.
"We are so cheesy." Ally noted with a laugh.
Austin chuckled too, his chest moving under her body which was partially draped across him. "I know. Isn't it great?"
"It is." Ally agreed and leaned up to kiss his lips. His free hand tangled in her hair as he responded and rolled her onto her back as the kiss deepened.
. . .
A few days before Thanksgiving Ally's phone rang and she answered it to find Trish on the other end.
"Hi Ally." Trish said happily.
"Hi Trish. Aren't you supposed to be in Maine meeting Gabe's family right now?" Ally asked. They had spoken a few days earlier and all Trish could talk about was the upcoming trip for the holiday. She was nervous to meet her boyfriend's family.
"Our flight leaves in a few hours but I had to talk to you first." Trish said.
"Okay. You've got me." Ally said.
"Last night Gabe took me on the best date. We had dinner at that fancy restaurant downtown I've always wanted to go to and we went to a concert and it was so great. Then he said he forgot something at the jewelry store he runs so we stopped there on our way home and he pulled out this tray of five gorgeous rings and asked me to choose my favorite. When I did he got down on one knee and proposed!" Trish told her.
"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you Trish!" Ally gushed.
"Me too. And you know what? Most of my fear meeting his family is gone because I know he wants me and they are going to be my family in the future and I'm just so excited. I had to tell you before we left."
"I'm glad you did. Have a great trip and call me when you get home." Ally instructed.
"I will. Happy Thanksgiving Ally." Trish said.
"Happy Thanksgiving. Bye." Ally ended the call and smiled widely. She couldn't be more happy for her best friend.
Over the years Trish had dated several guys but none had made her as happy as Gabe did. Trish brought him as her plus one to Dez and Carrie's wedding and Ally had liked him from the start. Since then she and Austin had them over for dinner twice so he could get to know them better.
Austin and Ally agreed after their anniversary in September that they ought to have one or two date nights a month, taking time to be a couple and keep their romance alive. Recently they used several of these on couple dates with Trish and Gabe or Dez and Carrie. The date nights also turned out to be a great time for the grandparents to bond with Juliette since she was babysat by either Penny and Lester or Mike and Mimi. So, with their encouragement, Austin and Ally went out almost every other week.
. . .
On April 6th Austin and Ally's house was full. Juliette toddled on unsteady legs to the delight of all the adults gathered to celebrate her first birthday. Chester wound his way among the guest's feet, hoping for food to be dropped and eventually retreated to his bed, disgruntled at being left only with his usual dog food. Ally held her little girl and talked with guests while Austin played host, making sure food and cake were ready to go.
As they gathered around the table to sing happy birthday to Juliette who sat on her mother's lap, Austin surveyed the room. His parents Mike and Mimi beamed down at their granddaughter. Penny and Lester stood nearby, his arm draped around her shoulders, smiles on their faces despite the worry they had a year ago of their daughter's ability to be a mother. Dez and Carrie, a video camera plastered to the former's face as he documented this big step in the life of the first Team Austin baby. Trish and Gabe who were mere weeks away from getting married and radiated that glow of being deeply in love. These were his family and friends, the people who mattered most in his life. They were here to support him and his little family and he realized that this is what it's all about.
Austin lit the candle in the center of the cake on the table in front of Ally and Juliette. Ten voices rang out their love and good wishes for the little girl as they sang and at everyone's prompting and funny faces, Juliette managed to breathe out the candle after a few tries. She jumped in surprise as everyone cheered and she leaned back into her mother's protective arms. The cake was cut and distributed and they all ate and talked. Then presents were passed around and in true child-like fashion, Juliette was fascinated by and more interested in the shiny silver box which held one of the gifts than it's contents. It was a good night full of family and love and a little girl.
. . .
A/N: I don't own "Could not ask for more" by Edwin McCain, but I absolutely adore that song.
So, I hope this chapter wasn't too choppy. There were several loose ends I wanted to tie up and story points I wanted to hit, and I realize that made for a whole bunch of shorter scenes. There is one chapter left and it's almost done so I will put that up soon and I hope you like it.
You guys are incredible and I'd love to hear the thoughts of anyone still reading this story. Your reviews make my day and keep me inspired to write.