37 - Heartbeats

As soon as their lips touched, Zoe felt suddenly stupid, realizing clearly that she didn't really want to resist him in the first place. She closed her eyes shivering as she felt his hands on her cheeks, gently caressing her.

A whispered moan escaped her lips as he seemed to be hungrier for her, his hand slipping at the base of her neck to move her in the perfect position, as the other ran down from her shoulder on her spine, stroking gently her hip.

Zoe's hands held on his jacket lepels to pull him closer, to reassure him she didn't want him to stop, to which he obliged sliding his hand on her tight, and her leg moved accordingly, clinging to his hip.

She released his lips to breathe, opening her eyes for an instant only to find him staring at her with the sweetest gaze she'd ever seen from him. She blinked and opened her eyes again, smiling, feeling suddenly shy. She bit her lip as he kissed her neck, her hands running over his shoulders, feeling the shape of his bones.

He tightened his grip on her, his arm clinging to the small of her back, and she was swept off her feet, suddenly in the air. Time lord biology, right. So skinny, so strong. "Doctor-", she whispered, but he cut the word with another kiss, quick, then with a finger on her lips.

"Shh", he said, softly, before kissing her again. He started walking, still holding her, clumsily, and she unintentionally hit her back to the railing.

"Ouch", she cried between his kisses, and he stopped, leaving her sitting on the railing.

He burst into a giggle, still looking at her, and kissed her again, hungrily, as she smiled. He stroked her arms until his hands met hers, holding to the railing, gently inviting her to release her grip, his hands quickly holding her to help her standing.

She tilted her head back to breathe again, but he pulled her close again, his forehead nudging hers.

"Come on", he whispered, his fingers entwining hers, his strong grip holding as he lead her down the stairs into the hallway. They ran around the Tardis like drunk kids, constantly hitting walls and doorways as they made their way into the ship, unable to stop kissing each other, the Doctor occasionally glancing up and down to follow the right direction.

He finally beamed at her and properly pushed her body to the wall, one of his arms holding her tight around his hips as with the other hand he fumbled on the wall to open a door at her back. She held onto him as he lead her inside the room, spinning on his feet to lay her down on the bed.

"Where is he now?"

Rory walked back into the console room, groaning.

"What am I supposed to do with these thermo couplings?", he whined.

"Leave them here, I'm sure he'll need them later", Amy replied.

"Do you think they...".

Amy pursed her lips, raising her eyebrows. "Why, what do you think they're doing?".

"The Doctor?", Rory wondered, puzzled.

Amy laughed, walking closer to him. "Let's go eat something", Amy said. "Best we avoid any chance of walking in on them".

"Oh, that's something I definitely don't want to see", Rory stated, following her wife as she led him back in the hallway.

"What is this place?", Zoe murmured. She must have dozed off, warmingly comforted by his soft strokes on her back, and only when she opened her eyes she saw where they were. Quite different, she thought, as he didn't seem willing to let her go, instead insisting with his arms to have her laying on top of him, her head resting on his chest. It wasn't such a long ago for her that they didn't even bother taking their clothes off in the urge, while now they had lingered to undress each other, taking the time to trace their bones under their fingers, to discover and kiss every inch of each other, tenderly. She felt his heartbeats, that rythm of four drumming slowly, his muscles moving as he took a deep breath. Different body, same hearts.

"It's Gallifrey", he whispered, his hands still caressing her spine. "It's... it's where I am from".

Zoe smiled, without moving. She looked around in awe. They were laying on a bed, tangled up in silk sheets, under a crystal dome through which two red suns burned the sky orange. The hills in the landscape were bright red. It was beautiful. She felt his warm body under her, a cold breeze running over her fingers as soon as she moved her hand to brush a strand of hair from her face.

"Your home", she whispered.

"Home, yes", he repeated, turning around to see the view, placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Lazily, she tried to move to get a better look, but he firmly held her close, unwilling to break contact with her skin. She wriggled out of his grip, sitting on his hips, her eyes lost in the ladscape, a smile on her lips.

He lazily lifted a hand to trace her arm from her neck to finally hold her hand, still resting on his chest, as she kept looking out. She couldn't help but notice the difference with his other self, how that time he seemed desperate, compared to how calm and relaxed he was now. "Can we go there?".

"No", he said sternly, a hint of sadness in his voice. "It's gone. It's just an image the Tardis rebuilt for us", he added, wriggling his hand in hers to kiss her knuckles.

She turned to look at him, so skinny and strong, and yet, against her earlier assessment, broken. She suddenly appeared vulnerable under her gaze, despite his naked skin looking young and untouched by pain and despair. Silently, she stroked his cheek and leaned down to kiss him again, the crave that had lead them to that room gone, its place now taken by sympathy.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me", he said, without looking at her, as he broke the kiss and helped her rest her head again on his chest.

"Why me?", Zoe asked, as his hand ran through her hair. "Why does the Tardis want to show me... Gallifrey? You hardly ever talk about it".

"Because-", he started, but suddenly stopped. "I don't know. This wasn't supposed to happen".

"You mean me and you here? Why not?".

"I might just have taken advantage of the, uhm, situation", he said, guiltily. "But you don't have to worry. I'll bring you back, the consequences are on me".

"But...".

"Shh", he cut her off. "Just... stay here a little longer. Sleep".

The crave, the urge to reach the bedroom had been almost identical to the other time, but only now she realized how much he tried to resist any temptation of that kind, why when he did let go of his attempt to shut the feelings inside and stay cold and detached it resulted in such heaten chemistry. Zoe didn't understand, but she realized she had given up her wish to understand a long time before. Right then, she didn't want to worry about something that most likely involved her future self, so she just followed his suggestion and laid her head again on his hearts, his beats cuddling her into the first relaxed sleep she had in ages.

Amy and Rory were in the kitchen sipping tea when the Doctor walked past the door, still in a hurry to get his braces up, his jacket between his hands, rushing over to the console room when he spotted them.

"Oh", he stopped. "Uhm, hello. Hi. Hello".

"Doctor", Amy said, groaning. "I'm pretty tired, I think I'll get some sleep. Don't mind us".

"Wasn't going to", he shook his head. "Stay put. See you later", he said, sprinting away.

"You really should get some sleep", Rory said after the Doctor left. "Even if you're not pregnant with a timeheaded baby".

"Oi!", she nudged him. "Don't make fun of me, I was worried. The Tardis does stuff to people, you know".

"I know. But still, you should get some sleep".

"Later. I'm a bit concerned about them".

"Because the Tardis does stuff to people?". He shrugged. "They'll manage".

"Yes, but she's... oh, whatever", Amy cut off.

Zoe had woken up suddenly, but as she jumped up she realized he hadn't slept at all. He winked apologetically at her, gently pushing her off him to stand up and get dressed. Still not fully awake, she sat on the edge of the bed scratching her eyes, ruffling her hair.

"Let me guess", she said. "It's time for me to go".

"Not yet", he stopped, watching her slim legs stretch as she stood up, yawning. "But you better get dressed, though, I've got something for you".

She turned to look at him, running a hand trough his hair as he failed to untangle his trousers from the braces. How could he be so charming and delicate as a lover and that goofy at the same time?

"Here, let me", she said, walking over to him to unbutton the braces from the trousers and buttoning them again after he finally got dressed. He stood speechless, clearly uncomfortable with her being still naked and yet that confident.

"Thanks", he mumbled, before sprinting out of the room.

Zoe sat down, his heartbeat still clear in her mind. She exhaled loudly then stood again, gathered her clothes and got dressed, looking around before leaving to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything. She picked up the pen and pocketed it, and then caught sight of the holster laying at her feet.

She was sure she was going back, no question about it. She wondered how that younger Doctor would react if he knew she was holding a gun she technically hadn't built yet, and she couldn't decide wheter it was self-defence or self-assurance that drove her to clasp the holster around her hip and secure the gun into place.

The oversized tee shirt she was wearing again was just long enough to cover it.

"Ok, now, just one second", he said, moving her to the doors where she shivered at the cold current coming from outside. "Now you can open your eyes".

Zoe covered her mouth in surprise. "You didn't have to-".

"Ah-ah-ah. Team Tardis takes passenger's complaints very seriously, you know".

"Can't they see us?".

"The Tardis is in stealth mode. As long as we're inside the perception filter field, we're invisible".

"Inside the field? Do you mean we can... step out?".

"Of course we can! Isn't that the point?".

She looked outside again, then turned to him, smiling shyly. "Actually, I think it would kinda ruin that. I mean, if I... just stepped on the Moon before Neil Armstrong".

He beamed at her, quietly. She immediately regretted hiding the gun, it really didn't make sense now.

"I'd rather watch him as everybody else did, before taking the pleasure of imitation", she added. "Well, not exactly everybody else, I appreciate the... privileged front-seat point of view".

"That's very human of you", he said. "Let's just wait for old Neil to go first then".

"I know you're used to this and all, but don't you think it's crazy? We were just there in the module hours ago, and they... struggled with... engineering and mechanics and computers to get here... And now we're here too, and we were just comfortably sitting in the Tardis".

"Very comfortably", he winked, nudging her shoulder. "Though not exactly sitting".

She giggled, and leaned on him, as he moved his arm around her shoulder.

"Why do I feel your heartbeats that loud?", she asked.

"Residual connection. Time Lords biology, it reaches out for a telepathic connection. It probably stuck with you since- well, it's complicated".

"Is it going to wear off?".

"Does it bother you that much? To have a residual telepathic connection with me?", he laughed.

"No, I didn't mean... I was just wondering, am I going to hear this drumming sound all the time?".

"No", he said, releasing her. "You're not a telepath. Zoe, I...".

"Shut up- there he is", she said, happily, watching Neil Armstrong climb down the ladder. "Amy! Rory! You should be seeing this!", she called, failing to notice the Doctor's wary look.

The couple joined them soon. "What?", Rory asked.

"Oh my god", Amy whispered.

They stood in silence, watching the astronaut take his first step on the moon, a familiar scene from all of them. Zoe felt goosebumps, and kept holding her chin in suspance.

"Amy", Rory nudged her, and as soon as she saw Zoe's face she followed him inside, leaving them alone.

"Thanks. For bringing me here", she said. "This is it, Doctor, isn't it? Where it all started. Apart from the Silence, I mean, all those places we went... humans spread all around the universe, only because that man first walked on the moon".

He stood silently beside her. "It... it kinda makes you see your place in the world under perspective".

"How?".

"I don't know. I guess I just feel... so tiny, and confused", she sighed.

"You're not tiny", he corrected, smiling again, hugging her, "But what do you feel confused about-".

Zoe laughed. "Seriously? The list is so long the Tardis herself could not buy you enough time to hear it all. But mostly, right now, I suppose it's the logical part of me who is still skeptical about time travel, and the thought there's another me down there, searching for you and River in a big crowd in Hyde Park... I don't know what to think of it".

"Oh, Zoe, please. River and I...".

"That's the second top of the list".

"Don't-".

"But you'll have to admit it does sound a little too convenient for you, just like Donna said. I didn't understand back then, but come on, does it... does it just depend on which one of us is around? Because I can't help but feel-".

"Zoe", he cut her off, groaning. "Listen to me: you and River are different. Completely different. You're different from each other, and you're different to me".

She stood quiet for a moment, trying to work this last bit into her brain. The Doctor wasn't clearly going to give her much more than that at the time, and she knew better than to ask for more clarity. After all that time, he was still cryptic and enigmatic when asked questions, just like River herself.

A loud, beeping noise came from the console, breaking the intimacy of the moment.

Smiling guiltily, the Doctor let go of Zoe and walked to the monitor. "Easy, easy, what's going on?".

"I think it's coordinates", Rory said, looking at the informations blinking on the screen.

The Doctor groaned, running a hand through his messy hair, humming. He scratched his cheek, then clapped his hands resolutedly. "Oh dear, ok", he pouted.

"What? We're not going?", Amy asked.

"I'll have to get her back first".

"You mean...", Rory asked, looking at Zoe.

"Yes", the Doctor replied before hearing his questions, waving his hands at Zoe's inquisitive look. "It wouldn't take long".

"Right, so, London, 2008", the Doctor said, spinning the wheel on the console.

"This is unfair. Isn't the point of having a time machine that you could buy as much time as you like?", Amy said.

"Not with Zoe", the Doctor sighed, and turned to look at her. "I'll miss you", he said, shy.

Zoe blinked, groaned and waved her hands around, defeated. Wasn't a future version of her running around with him? She had the hint he was in such a hurry to drop her off because the other was coming back. And what he had said before...

"Amy", Zoe called, gently pulling her towards the stairs so that the Doctor couldn't hear them. "You know me better than I know you, but one thing's for sure - I can trust you. I don't know if we avoided what happened at the lake, and I don't know if I'll be back to him before he gets there...", she said, apologetically. "I don't really even know what I could do to help him if it came to that".

Amy hugged her tight. "I'll take care of him while you're gone".

"Thanks".

"It was fun, to see you this young", Amy smiled, releasing her arms. "Me and Rory are waiting for you somewhere in the past, so make sure you get there at some point, okay?", she laughed.

"I'll do my best", she said, then turned to Rory.

"So", she started, unsure of what to say. "Uhm, thanks".

"Don't show up on the edge of death next time, please".

She smiled, groaning. "Keep an eye on Amy".

"Always".

They walked back to the console, the Doctor waiting impatiently for her, spinning to face her the instant she was at his side."I'll miss you", he repeated, stressing that it was her present self, past to him that he was going to miss.

She gulped, biting her lips. "I'll see you soon, Doctor", she nodded, awkwardly, then waved at the others. "Amy, Rory...", she said as the Tardis buzzed with her usual loud vworping sound in landing.

She went to the doors, turning around to look at them before leaving, realizing she had never felt the need to say goodbye before returning back to her timeline before Why did she suddenly feel so sad? Was it that nugging feeling of guilt about River Song? Was it the sound of the Doctor's heartbeats, still resonating in her head? Or the realization that there was no guarantee she was going to see any of them anytime soon? She hesitated in pulling the doors, waiting to choose what to say, when she felt her hands tingling.

In an instant, she turned to watch her hands glow with light, and the doors spreading wide open, as a wave of the same golden energy flooded the console room, slamming her backwards until she hit her head on the railing.

Her eyes closed in a reflex with the sharp pain. "I'm so letting River drive me back, the next time", she whispered,

Still a bit blinded by the sudden light, she scratched her head, when she felt a pair of hands pulling her up, and blinking, she managed to put into focus the coral pillars of the console room, and she followed the arms helping to steady her until she recognized the face of Rose Tyler.

"Y'all right?", she asked. "What are you doing in here? I thought you were outside with the boys".

A/N I found the perfect gif of how the Doctor picks Zoe up, but I can't post links here, so google avery and kepner from grey's anatomy, there's a bathroom scene in which he lifts her up with a single arm: that's how. Don't be shy, review!