"I know," I said. "I'll go out and just shout 'Grey Wardens Forever!'"

"No," Nathaniel said.

"Huzzah for Ferelden!"

"No."

"Mages rule?"

"No. Are you even trying?"

"Can I reuse an old speech?"

"Better, but still no."

"Can I dance? I think I can do a reasonable copy of Anders' spicy shimmy. It's actually not particularly spicy."

"What? Maker, no," Nathaniel snapped. He turned to Anders. "Can't you do something to sober her up?" I snorted with laughter. I knew that would get a rise out of him.

"I did," Anders snapped. "She lost a lot of blood recently. It might be another week before she's… normal. Normal for her, at least." He glanced at me and grinned when I made a face at that. "Or, Maggie's trying to see how long it will take you to realize this is all a joke to her."

"I'm sitting right here," I told them. Sometimes I really did wonder if he could read my mind. "But maybe I was having a little fun…" I shrugged. "It's pouring rain now anyways, no one is left out there." No one could argue with that. "Just as well. You ever think gloating might not be the best plan of action?"

"It's not gloating," Anders said. "It's…" he chuckled. "All right, it is gloating. I think we've earned it, though."

"Sure," I said. "And anyone who might wonder if there's a rational reason the Chantry can't stand us would have another reason to question it. We should leave very early, and very quietly."

"So you are sober," Nathaniel said.

"Of course I am," I replied, standing up. "Ronan, however, is absolutely trashed." He'd continued drinking after Anders and Nathaniel had returned, worried about appearing in public.

He looked up at the sound of his name and snorted. "'m not." He tried to glare at me but wasn't quite able to direct his eyes properly. I'm sure the chair I was standing next to was properly chastised, though.

"He needs someone to tell him how to talk to girls," I whispered theatrically. Anders' face lit up and he went to sit by the inebriated templar. As expected, his desire to gloat disappeared when something more amusing was presented.

Nathaniel looked at me and we shared a grin. "Is this wise?" he asked.

"Hey, can you think of anyone better suited?" I asked. "Anders could talk his way into the Divine's bed if he put his mind to it. What's the harm?"

"Well, I might be able to…" Nathaniel chuckled when I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. "All right, perhaps not."

I listened in for a moment. "….now, if she catches you staring, look away after a few seconds, like you're embarrassed. But then, look back and see if she's watching you. If she is smile at her and then look away again. No, not like that, you look like Maggie when she froze the Grand Cleric. That's creepy. A small smile. Right, good."

"He won't remember any of this once he sobers up," I pointed out.

"You know, you might be right," Anders said. He cast a spell quickly and Ronan's befuddled expression cleared after a moment.

Nathaniel and I cleared out, leaving them alone. Setting up in the small office we planned out recruitment goals for the next several years.

"This is the worst subject," I muttered. "But I guess we have to think about it. As of now, everyone we have will get their calling basically at once. You know, if we all live that long."

"I hope I don't," he snorted. "The thought of it makes my skin crawl."

"You and me both," I agreed. "I suspect the closer I get the less armor I'll start wearing to fight." He laughed at that idea.

"I don't like the idea of intentionally keeping our numbers down so we can stagger recruitment over the next thirty years," Nathaniel said. "From what I've seen of the pre-blight records that's what they were doing. All small Joinings of two or three people, once or twice a year. It had been almost twenty years since the Wardens were restored, but they only had about two dozen members total. Even yours, when the archdemon had already been confirmed…"

I nodded. "Right. If it was me, I wouldn't have left the Circle with one mage, I would have taken dozen, and grabbed people from every town and village on the way. They knew it was a blight, better to put a hundred people through the Joining at Ostagar. Especially knowing what we know about killing the archdemon. I don't understand why Duncan didn't."

"Caution, most likely. Judging by his reports Duncan was a very cautious man. You, however, are the complete opposite. Especially if you plan to die in your early fifties fighting an ogre in nothing but your smallclothes." I made a face at him, but he was right. "Loghain made no secret of his distrust. If the numbers grew too quickly…" I nodded. It would have looked to Loghain as proof the Wardens were building a small army, intent on harming Ferelden.

"We don't have to worry about that anymore," I said. "But I don't want to recruit as many as we need now and leave the order in the hands of a bunch of recruits once we're all gone." Nathaniel agreed with that. "I'd rather have more Wardens than needed for a couple decades, and let things level out on their own over time." The two of us sketched out a rough plan of numbers, details, and potential garrison locations throughout Ferelden. I was actually rather impressed with how much we were getting done.

"So the question is, where do we put everyone," Nathaniel said. "I think we could house another seventy or so, maybe a hundred, at the Keep if we don't make people share rooms. I strongly recommend continuing the private rooms, by the way. We're not city guards, everyone deserves at least a small space of their own. Considering what we do to them a bit of privacy is the least we can offer." I couldn't argue with that reasoning.

"Ah!" I laughed. "I have another castle!"

"You have a castle." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you secretly heir to some fortune?"

"Of course not," I said. "There's two reasons why me being heir to anything is impossible. It's not mine, it's ours. The Grey Wardens."

He looked at me for several seconds before realization dawned. "Oh no," Nathaniel said. "I've heard about that place. You might as well house people in the Blackmarsh!"

"It's not that bad," I said. "The old Warden mage who made the mess with the Veil did most of the work to close it from this side already, back during the blight."

"What? How could he still live?"

"Blood magic," I said, shrugging. "Figured out how to keep himself going and delay the calling so he could find a way to fight the demons in Soldier's Peak. Might still be up there now. I'm not sure, I haven't been there in about four years. But we're off track. We have another castle. It's huge. Maybe even bigger than the Keep. I think it's older, too."

"Fine, a big haunted castle. With demons. That sounds very welcoming."

"Maker's breath, let me finish. I have a plan."

"My four least favorite words to hear from you."

I made a hushing noise. "This is mage stuff, I know what I'm doing. The veil is weak, but not torn. Weak is just fine, weak can be repaired. If it was torn, well, we'd have problems. That's Blackmarsh. It can be patched, but things are never quite right again. We've got tons of lyrium, and tons of mages. I'll have Aidan lead the ritual on this side of the veil, with some of the apostates if they're familiar with it. Anders and I will go into the fade with a couple other mages. Dermott, since I know the Circle teaches the fade and he's got a decent compliment of destruction spells, and maybe one other, someone skilled for heavy damage. Not too many since it's not an easy ritual. We fix it from that side, come back here, and Soldier's Peak is perfectly safe to live in."

"Just like that?"

"Well, from this side it'll be just like that. We have to go kill a few demons on the other side, though. That's why I need Anders and want other mages who can cause some damage."

"Just like Blackmarsh," he said, making a face. "I don't like this plan."

"Not just like," I said. "We were pulled into the Fade there. When mages go of their own will it's different. We can manipulate things, we have much more power. We can even manipulate the Fade in our dreams, to some extent. It's hard to describe if you've never done it."

"All right," Nathaniel finally agreed. "I can't claim to understand something like this. I won't argue with you when it comes to magic, you're the expert, not I. If you think its best I'll have to trust your judgment." He shook his head. "As much as saying that terrifies me."

"Well thanks," I said, rolling my eyes. "You do know I defeated a blight, yes? I'm not completely incompetent."

"No, but you are a bit… reckless at times." He shrugged. "It isn't that I think your plan won't work, or that you're wrong about how it should be done. I worry you're understating the risk involved. You talk about fighting demons like most people talk about running into town for some shopping. I know the Chantry exaggerates things, but there is some risk of possession, on top of the more obvious risk of death."

"There is," I agreed. "And that's why Anders and I will be there, too. I know he and I will be fine, and we can stop anyone else before something happens." I sighed. "Look, I also want a few other people there. The mages on this side will be focused on the ritual to send us over, and exhausted after. I'd like it if you were there, with a few others, to guard us. Have Ronan with you if it makes you less nervous. He'll be able to sense if someone returns possessed."

"You need guards for this? Why?"

"While we're in the fade we're completely helpless on this side, just lying there. If we're attacked we'd never know, and if someone kills our physical bodies we wouldn't be able to return. It's a complete disconnect between body and mind. I'll warn you, when we're in the fade we will look and seem completely dead to anyone other than a mage. From what I know, people find it highly disturbing to see."

"Was it the same when we…"

"Yes. I didn't think you needed anything else to worry about at the time, though, since there was absolutely nothing we could do. I decided not telling you or Oghren was for the best, and made sure Anders didn't either. You were already at a disadvantage simply being there, adding the fear that darkspawn could be hacking away at our physical bodies while we were unaware certanly wouldn't have helped."

"I don't enjoy having decisions made for me, Maggie."

"I know," I said. "I'm sorry. But what could I say? 'By the way, we're trapped here and I also know of something that will make you absolutely terrified, although we're powerless to do a damned thing about it. Want to know what?'"

"No, I suppose not," he agreed. "When did you want to do this?"

"Soon, since it's old and no one's lived there for years. It'll take time to get it up to snuff, and I want a proper road to it build, since you can only access it through tunnels now. Let's figure out what's going on with the darkspawn first. Although Maker knows how long this will drag out. If it's isolated survivors instead of something organized…" I made a face.

"We could be finding them for years. What is the lifespan of a darkspawn?"

"I have no idea. I don't think anyone's tried to keep one to see." I could just imagine locking one in a basement cage. 'Here's the armory, here's the kitchen, and here's our pet genlock. We call him Ser Rottenface. Don't stick your hand between the bars, he nips.' It was almost shameful how little we knew of darkspawn, even as Wardens. What they ate, if they even had to eat, how long they lived, if they were born adults or had to grow to maturity… it was all a mystery. No real way to discover the answers, though.

Nathaniel and I planned out a few more recruitment trips. "I think I'd like to travel a bit," he admitted.

"Good," I said. "I don't think I should go on things like that anymore, not if I can help it. I was going to ask if you could for now, until some of the newer people get more time in." Since the darkspawn seemed to be after me specifically I was too much of a risk among a group of recruits who didn't have the immunity we did. I'd also realized my reputation preceded me far too frequently. It was difficult to find recruits when they were too nervous or in awe to actually speak to me. As much as I liked to pretend I was just another Warden, I was still the Hero of Ferelden to most people. Hating it and pretending otherwise wouldn't make it go away. "I will go when we try to find the Dalish, though," I said. "I think if I send anyone else they would see it as... rude. Like I didn't think they were worth my time. Does that make sense?"

"It does," he agreed. "They're known for being easy to offend." We listed out other places that might be worth visiting. Eventually I began to yawn. "Same here," he said, after the third or fourth time it happened. "I vote we call it a night, we got more done than either of us have in months." The two of us returned to the front room to discover that Ronan had resumed drinking, this time with Anders joining in.

"Good to see they didn't let guilt over how much we were accomplishing ruin their evening," Nathaniel said.

Neither had noticed us yet. "Exactly!" Anders was saying, words slurred as he agreed with some point Ronan must have made. "It should be a crime how the Circle keeps them all in ankle length robes. A crime. Now the Tevinters, they have the right idea with those short robes."

"Should we stop him before he goes on?" Nathaniel whispered.

"That might be wise," I agreed, walking over to them.

"—and this one set Maggie wears… oh Maker, when she bends over the back goes up and—" I should have walked faster.

"Which set is that?" I quickly interrupted him to ask.

They both jumped. "Heeeey!" Anders said, grinning. "I was just talking about… what a fantastic dresser you are. Really." He put a hand on my hip, nodding. "Very sharp. You should wear those green robes more, though."

"That's the best you can do? Wow, you must be drunk."

"Nooo," he protested. "No no no, not drunk. Just… tired. Very tired. I'm ready for bed. Are you ready for bed?"

I could hear Nathaniel talking to Ronan as I helped Anders stumble his way through the compound. "I do hope you realize," he was saying in the distance, "any advice he gave you only works on crazy women."

We managed to slip out of the city just after dawn, before anyone was the wiser. I sent a note over to Alistair telling him why, and promising to see him in the spring for his wedding. The first two days of travel was blissfully uneventful. We were taking the Pilgrim's Path north from Denerim. On the third day I sat on the front bench of the coach with my eyes closed, trying to sense any sign of darkspawn. We would be passing within half a day's walk from the silverite mine, all the reports had indicated that's where they were strongest.

A few times I made Anders stop the coach so I could walk a short distance into the woods, trying to get a better sense of things.

"I don't understand," I said as we continued on after I'd made us stop for the tenth time. "All the reports say this area should be crawling with them. There's nothing! Nothing at all!"

"Maybe they realized we were watching and moved to another area?" Anders suggested.

"Hm… maybe. Disturbing thought, though. Even for the Architect that's fairly sophisticated reasoning. I don't like to think that they've become that smart." We continued on, nearing the edge of the forest. "Slow down," I told Anders. He complied and I closed my eyes, waving to everyone for quiet so I could concentrate. "Wardens, not darkspawn. Right ahead of us." He continued on and, sure enough, once we crested the top of the small hill there was Rose and her group, walking home. "Want a lift?" I called. They gratefully climbed into the small coach, most cramming themselves into the back with Rose hopping onto the bench where Anders and I were sitting.

"Nothing," she said as soon as we were underway. "Nothing. We have picked over every square inch of this forest and found not so much as a single half-dead genlock."

"I noticed the same thing when we passed through," I said. "So, no darkspawn. What else?"

She shrugged. "They were there. We saw tracks. I went into the mines, I know you said not to but I could tell they were empty. Found a few dead humans." She sighed. "We found a cell, I think it was the one they kept you in. A woman was still alive in it. I had to..." Rose made a face. "She was corrupted."

"I'm sorry," I said. "Decisions like that aren't easy, but there's nothing else you can do," I said. "You ended her suffering, at least. Letting it go on, that's worse... people become ghouls, their mind shatters and they want to do nothing but serve the darkspawn. I think most people would consider that far worse than death."

"I know," Rose agreed. "I just feel awful about it. She thought we were there to save her. I was quick, though... died before she knew what happened." She seemed to sag after saying that. I put my arm around her, knowing how she felt.

"I'm sorry you had to do that," I said again. "You did the right thing, but that's not always the easy thing to live with."

After a few moments she straightened up again, nodding in agreement. "If I had to guess, they were trying to make their own Wardens but don't know how to do the joining. The cup was still there, looked like they were using just plain blood, no lyrium or archdemon blood." That would never work. The level of corruption in normal darkspawn blood was just enough to kill. The concentration of it used in our joining, and the lyrium, was the only reason anyone survived.

"They wouldn't know how," I agreed. "We have the Architect's notes."

"Well, we have some of this one's notes too, now," she said, patting her pack. "Looks like they cleared out in a rush, they left some things."

"Excellent," I said. "Any idea how long they were gone?"

"Not very," she said. "Their stink was all over everything. The prisoner was barely coherent, she couldn't tell us."

"Couldn't have been more than a day, two at the most," someone spoke up. I turned back, it was Moira, the apostate healer-scout. "A couple of the bodies we found couldn't have been dead much longer than that."

"Good catch," I told her. "Thank you." She grinned wildly, sitting up straighter.

"So, that was our week," Rose said. "How did it go in Denerim?"

Anders burst out laughing at that, followed by the rest of us in short order. "You won't believe it," I told her.

"Try me," she said. "I've gotten used to the unbelievable living with you people."

"Oh, let me," Anders said. I waved him on.

"So, we get there, the spy's been killed, they called a landsmeet and arrested the Grand Cleric. I got to meet Maggie's former lover, who is both the king's top spy as well as the new head of the Antivan Crows in Ferelden. Complete maniac, as you can imagine. Also, I think he's older than I am. I definitely have better hair." I rolled my eyes. "And I'm taller," Anders added.

"Anders, he's an elf, of course you're taller," I pointed out.

"Even so," he said.

"Since he's clearly stuck on that, I'll finish," I offered, quickly summarizing the chaotic Landsmeet.

"Just when I think things couldn't get stranger," Rose said, shaking her head. "But, at least they'll leave us alone now." We finally made it home late in the evening, and finding we missed dinner, I had the kitchen cook for us again. There were ten of us, after all. It wasn't as though I was demanding a special meal just for me. I wondered if hiring more cooks, so we had someone on all the time, would be a wise idea. Something to think about, certainly, given how many of us there were now and how hungry Wardens could get. Almost everyone drifted off to their own rooms after we ate, leaving Nathaniel, Anders and I alone in the dining hall.

"I don't like this," I muttered, looking over the papers Rose had collected. "They're acting smart, smarter than they did before." The handwriting was horrid, near incomprehensible, and the grammar left something to be desired, but I struggled through it. Really, that a darkspawn was literate at all, in a country where maybe a quarter of the population wasn't, was horrifying. Sigrun and Anders were even running small classes for the some of the new recruits who couldn't read here at the Keep.

I read an entry towards the end. "Again trying to fight the Warden witch. Again they dead. Architect could not kill, how they think different now? Avoiding better. Continue work. Keep work safe."

"That's the second reference to you in there," Anders pointed out. "Another came a bit earlier."

"The first must be from the group we found on the way back from Orzammar, this one from the deep roads," I guessed. "I hate that word. Witch. That's what Loghain called Morrigan, 'the marsh witch.' No one ever calls someone a witch when they mean mage. Only when they mean mage and bitch all at once."

"True," Anders said. "You really can't expect manners from darkspawn, though. And you did kill their leader. A bit of hatred is to be expected." I couldn't argue with that. We continued to try and figure out how we would find them now, until both of us realized Nathaniel had been utterly silent for more than an hour. I turned to look at him. He was staring at the table, chewing on a nail. "Of course, if we can't find them they won't even know about the big party we're throwing," Anders said, watching Nathaniel for a reaction. He didn't even blink.

"And then they won't get any of the cake," I agreed. "Also, my hair is on fire. And a dragon just landed on the roof." Still nothing.

"It's dancing the Remigold. We should be safe. I may offer it a job washing my robes. What do you think, Nathaniel?"

"Hmm… what? Oh, yes, I'm sure your plan is fine," he said, not looking up.

"My plan?" Anders asked. "What plan was that?"

"The… darkspawn plan." We both burst out laughing. That finally got him to look up. "I'm sorry," he said. "I've got a bit on my mind."

"Clearly," I said. "You missed the bit about the dancing dragon on the roof completely."

"Go find Sigrun," Anders said. "Before I get bored and tell her myself."

"You wouldn't—" Nathaniel began before looking at Anders closely. His eyes narrowed. "No, you would. I swear, sometimes the two of you are like children. That can't be the Circle's fault."

We both laughed as he stormed out of the dining hall, rushing as though Anders was planning to race him upstairs.