I've noticed that I can't comment whole chapters like I used to. Now I have to do it little piece by little piece because it pisses me off so much. And that is why you guys have been waiting like a month or more per chapter. I'm sorry but this thing is just getting to me.
Anyways! Not your problem!
Enjoy!
OK EVERYBODY I'M GOING ON VACATION ON THE FIRST OF JULY SO i'M EITHER GONNA END THE FIC OR UPDATE IT IN A WEEK (At least I think that's what she meant) thanks! oh yeah and preps stop flaming the story! Raven thanks for the help see you girl after vacation!
AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION (Are you gonna stay there?)ON DA FRIST OF JULY SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK (PLEASE!)OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. (Damn. Me who was hoping for a miracle.)fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11(Even today we haven't stoped.) raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11
DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL(Would this be what we call the chapter's title or is she finally telling us the point of view?)
Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.(I forgot what happened. And why are they chaining a grid full of hair to the floor? Why did the economy drop? Why am I failing my classes? Why does no one care about anything anymore? ... These are the questions that have been plaiguing me for a very long time. Just kidding, I don't care about the economy. Much.)
"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot.(Wha? ... Maybe I'm missing something. I recall an 'Amnesia Potion' but that wouldn't make her 'hot and bothered' it would make her forgetful... I forgot we were reading this thing, continue.) "Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1"(Cheshfneisofnghr! You have got to be kidding me! How does that even work! We'll just take all your memories away and tell you that this is the girl you love and you're gonna like it! *Throws hands in the air* I give up!)
"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata,"(I - I ... There are no words for this.) said Vampire. "Why would u need it?" (Can't wait for her answer.)
"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby.(Kill her. Just kill her. KILL HER NOW!)
"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.(You asked yourself if you had to do it with him and you're jealous? What kind of a story is this when people can just talk to themselves!)
"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep.(I don't even know why this chick is there. There is no point in "Britney's" appearance.)
"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.(You are so nice. I think this one should have the 'nice award'!)
"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room."
Draco, Ebory and I (Wha? Who's point of view are we in? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!)went to Profesor Siniater's room. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there.(You don't say!) Instead Tom Rid was.(Tom Rid. As in Riddle? As in Tom Riddle? As in the guy who changed his name to Voldemort? As in the guy who Ebony/Evony/Whatev wants to kill? As in the guy who wants her to kill Harry/Vampire instead of being a man and doing it himself? ... Or is it someone else?)
Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.(It's someone else. Damn.)
I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt (Don't care what it is. It's horrible either way.)that said ▒666'(How the f*ck did she do that box thing? She can't spell and she can figure out how to do a shaded box on fanfiction. IT'S SO UNFAIR!) on da bak,(So it says 'box 666' on your ass? Wonderful. I have the picture in my head and I can't get it out!) black stilton bootz,(Don't care.) blood red fishnetz(Don't care.) and a blak corset.(Don't care.)
"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. (I wonder what hugging in a gothic way would look like... For some reason I'm picturing lots of blood... Maybe that's just my imagination going wild.)Itook da clothes in da bag.
"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" (Play a game? Talk really loud? Kill someone? I don't know! Why are you asking me!)asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall. (I think this is important.)
"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed (And probably killed someone's ear drums.)as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now.(What is with everyone going to prison! Why don't we just ship off the whole castle and call it 'Azkaban 2' that way Maudite can stop sending them all to prison and continue... I just realizeed what I was going to say. It is an evil thought.) Classes shal be taught by Dubledork(Another apprentice! How many does he have! It's so unfair.) who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.(Someone is standing on a bridge and drinking rhum. If they're reading this 'story' they'll probably jump soon.)
"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"
Suddenly Dumblydore came.(That's not something that I even want to contemplate.)
"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" (I thought they were in a class room... There's a black board so it has to be a class room.) he began to shoot angrily.(Why would he shoot anything? Why is he angry? Why do I sound like I care? These are the questions that must be answered!) Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111(Wha? Is this were I say that he's not supposed to be there? Right. WRONG FANDOM!) I jumped seductively(Not possible. When someone jumps they look stupid. It's just a fact of the world.) in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire.(You're not a very nice girlfriend leaving them in the dust like that.) SudenlyI wuz back in tim!11(Tim must be having some pain. His intestines are being blocked.) I looked around. It was...Profesor Slutborn's (He was born a slut. )efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk.(He drinks it regularly because he can't stand remembering your face.) It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it.(So... The potion was black... With pentagrams in it? That has got to be uncomfortable when you swallow.) It was the shape of a cross. (The bottle? or the potion? ... I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. YOU SEE WHAT THIS THING DOES TO ME!) I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz...Profesor Slutgorn!11(Not 'Slutborn' it's the other potions professor.)
OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.(So... they're angry.)
"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.(WHAT!? What is going on!? This makes no sense!)
"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn.(We're back to the other professor.)
You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes.(This is to confusing for me... I need a break.) Silas,() Samaro() and Snap ()were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.(So... Vampire/Harry actually wrote the song and sold it to them? Or did they just steal it? Or am I just to confused to actually understand what's going on?)
"Oh hi you guys."(Hi... What do you want?) I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"(Down under. No, not Australia.)
"Oh he's cumming."(O.O) said Serious. "BTW u can kall me Hades now."(Great. Another name that I have to take into account. I don't even know who said that! Is that 'Sirius' in Canon?) Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson,(He took one of the members from 'Jackson 5'. Wonder which one...) blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.(Don't care.)
"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan.(Kill her! Bring her to hell! Do something!)
(Guess who's turn it is!)
I don't really know how it happened but somehow we arrived at Santa's Workshop! There were little people in green outfits walking everywhere and making gifts! It was amazing!
I turned to Satan to tell him something but he wasn't there anymore... I guess the joy in the air was too much for him to take.
I looked around a bit more and I saw an office on the side. On the top of the door it said 'Santa's office'. I didn't think he'd mind if I had a look.
I entered the office and before I could even look around I heard someone say something that made me very frightened. "You're on the naughty list." At that moment something slamed into my head and knocked me out.
I woke up in a white cell attached to a chair. After a few moments of waiting a really big guy came in wearing a white shirt and black pants and was smoking a cigar. He looked at me for a moment and brought in a chair. He sat down in front of me.
He told me that his name was Kris Klaus but people know him as 'Santa'. Apparently he's been watching me for a very long time and that I've been taking all the joy away from whatever place I ever lived. He also told me that I've been taking the joy of Christmas away and that he had to do something before things got to desperate.
When I asked what he meant he asked me where I thought Satan was. I couldn't answer.
"I moved the 'n' in 'Santa' and went to search for you. When I was able to get close to you I brought you here. Where you can't make anymore damage to any Holiday. You will be staying here until you die."
And that's what happened. Now all I do is think and think and think...