Title: Journey

Disclaimer: Everything that's part of the Harry Potter world belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Pairing: SS/RL, implied one-sided SS/LP, implied one-sided RL/NT, implied AD/GG

Author Notes: Okay, this is one of my favourite chapters, because Severus is his timid old self here. I try to upload faster now (I hope it isn't too fast), term is about to end and I don't have much to do. Thank you for reviewing, faving, following or just reading, I am glad that so many people decided to read Journey even though it is so long! :D

Emily-pino: Glad you liked the parts with Sirius and Tonks, Severus will come across at least one of them rather frequently this year ;). I've also written a chapter from Tonks's PoV but somehow I get the impression that nobody will want to read it ;).

Resevius: First off, I hope you'll be all right! Amortentia was such a nice opportunity that I had to use it :) it was one of my better ideas, I always wondered what Severus might smell and how he would react, well, now we know ;). Do you like this chapter, considering that you are counting the chapters till Severus confesses?

Guest in Europe: Wow, I'm always surprised how fast readers can finish The Teacher and Journey! I'm grateful that you even started, seeing how many chapters lay before you and I'm glad that apparently it was good enough to keep you reading. Even though I will stick to JKR (and thus the rough outline of what will happen is known) I might have a few surprises in store. Though Severus will definitely be distraught. I am happy that you like the inner Severus because that part of the story is the most important to me. And now consider that Remus does not read what we read, he only knows the outer Severus. So glad you are going to wait for updates, some people prefer waiting until the story is finished :). I thank you for the 'literary torture' part, I think it is a good way to describe my stories, and I am even more thankful that you like them so much. Of course I have also seen your review on The Teacher, thank you for that as well :). Btw. I am not very fond of explicit scenes because I have made the experience that they only destroy the mood and detract from the actual intention of the story. Especially in this case, Severus and Remus's relationship is somewhat careful and delicate and has a certain purity about it, I feel that it just wouldn't fit in. (Severus will think about something like this later in the story) Also I think that Severus is not the type for explicit scenes. At least the Severus in my story and I think JKR's Severus too. Besides, I believe that it is much better, nicer to read and in this case more romantic, if you do not get all the details of what is happening.

Yes and No

Though Remus declined the Wolfsbane, he accepted Severus's advice to sneak away on the day before the full moon and promised Severus to send a Patronus. He lingered a little longer than he should have, listening to Severus's ranting about Potter and running after Draco. He kindly agreed with Severus that Potter had forgotten his manners and in the process tried to find out more about Albus's lessons with the boy.

"He must have told you something about it," he said curiously, standing behind Severus in his private lab, running his hands soothingly over Severus's tense back.

"He merely said that he was going to teach Potter everything he needed to know for a future encounter with the Dark Lord," said Severus as he added some Scurvy Grass to his cauldron. "Hopefully he'll be more successful than I was."

"Everything he needs for an encounter with …" said Remus slowly, his hands stopping to rub over Severus's back. "But I don't quite understand what that would be …"

"It seems Albus has no desire to let anyone know," replied Severus, stirring a little too powerfully. "Not even me …"

"I'm sure he has his reasons. I'm sure he still trusts you," added Remus as if he had practised Legilimency without eye-contact. Severus shrugged and Remus resumed his rubbing. "Nobody doubts you, Severus."

"You mean you don't," said Severus with a smile that Remus could not see and that didn't stay long. "You cannot speak for anyone else."

"And do they matter?" whispered Remus into Severus's ear and his warm breath caressed his skin. "Isn't it me whom you want to trust you?"

Unfortunately Severus's company wasn't usually comprised only of handsome werewolves kissing the back of his neck. And indeed they didn't deserve the answer Severus gave this particular werewolf, that the others were of no interest to Severus. And that was what drew from Severus's mouth the words that he would usually never have uttered.

"I wish it were full moon already."

Remus, who was about to leave through the fireplace turned back to him with a curious look on his face and then he smiled, quite suddenly, quite sadly. It struck Severus. He saw Remus's eyes cloud over for a second, as if in reminiscence, before the werewolf approached him touching the tips of his fingers to Severus's chest.

"You would," he said quietly. "Will you come and attend to me?"

"As always," replied Severus, trying to sound nonchalant. He thought he rather sounded like a servant, but then again that was what he was best at. Remus nodded slowly and when his eyes fixed on Severus's lips Severus dared look into them. They were bright and sparkling. And Severus knew the kiss was coming before Remus had even made to lean in. Severus met him halfway, impatient, longing.

"Thank you," whispered Remus against his lips and pulled back but Severus held onto his arm and let his fingers ghost over Remus's cheek.

"Aren't you scared?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Remus gave him a vague smile. "I would be a fool if I weren't," he replied. Severus smirked.

"So you aren't."

Remus chuckled, slapping Severus's arm much too affectionately. "Charming," he muttered and ran his hand over Severus's chest and down his stomach before he turned to leave. "I'll see you after the full moon, then."

Though Severus had the hope that he might see Remus earlier than that, he was disappointed. Albus informed him that he was going away over the next week and had asked some members of the Order to guard the castle, and Severus hoped secretly that Remus would exert himself and fulfil this task as well. But when he patrolled the corridors on Monday there was no werewolf to be found and when he left his bed on every following day just to make sure that Remus had not merely forgotten to send him a Patronus – and of course to act as if he had met him on complete coincidence should he find him – he only encountered Tonks, who glanced sullenly at him and they both looked into opposite directions when they passed each other.

On Saturday, Severus watched crowds of people, not only Gryffindors, gather on the Quidditch pitch for Potter's tryouts. Most played and even flew dismally, a large quantity only wanted to get a good look at the Boy-Who-Bragged, all of them were eager to find out if the boy was as sensational as the papers made him look. At least his Slytherins kept their dignity. Severus was still in very low spirits. It wasn't only the fact that Albus didn't want to tell him where he was going or what he was leaving for, it was also Slughorn who spoiled Severus's mood even further. In the evening when Severus sat down to dinner, Slughorn was already waiting for him, obviously with some highly important matter to discuss. Severus gave him a questioning look, trying to be polite for a change, with his elders, but soon found it impossible.

"Severus," exclaimed Slughorn boomingly and clapped his shoulder so that Severus was knocked into the table, "I have a favour to ask you!"

Severus scowled at him. He was tired of doing people favours. "Really?" he asked slowly. "And what would that be?"

Slughorn beamed and seemed hesitant at the same time. "Well, you see," he began, waving his hands pompously, "I am having a little dinner party with my Club tonight and I was hoping you could help me to get them all together."

Severus raised an eyebrow and thought that he knew where that was going. "And you thought that, since I have the authority to relieve Potter of his detention tonight, I would do you the favour and let him come to your party?"

Slughorn beamed even more brightly. "Would you, Severus? It would mean a lot to me, and Harry would really like to come," said Slughorn, apparently oblivious to the fact that that was enough reason for Severus to give Potter a detention every time he was invited to a party.

"But I'm sure you will understand that Mr Potter deserves some punishment," said Severus smoothly and Slughorn's face fell slightly, "and if that punishment takes place while he could be having a fun time, even better, maybe he will think twice next time before he talks back at me."

Slughorn touched his arm confidentially and Severus gave his hand a disdainful look. "Come now, Severus," said Slughorn in an urgent pleading, "a personal favour for me?"

"Forgive me, Horace," replied Severus with an edgy finality in his voice, winding his arm out of Slughorn's grasp, "but I shall not allow Potter to feel even more special than he already does. He's a student like every other and being on your Club does not attest him special privileges. He will serve his detention and that's my last word."

Severus thought he could have been much less polite than he was but Slughorn sulked nonetheless. On his way out of the Hall Severus stopped one of Potter's new teammates, a girl called Demelza Robins, who was quite shocked when he called her name across the Entrance Hall as she was starting to ascend the marble stairs. She shuffled back to him carefully, keeping a safety distance, and gave him an apprehensively questioning look.

"I want you to deliver a message to Potter," he told her harshly and she nodded, confused. "Tell him that he is to come to my office to do his detention at half past eight tonight, no matter how many party invitations he's received! And I want him to know that he will be sorting out rotten Flobberworms from good ones for Professor Slughorn's Potions stores. There will be no need for him to bring protective gloves. Understood?" Robins nodded slowly and Severus waved his hand in dismissal. "That is all," he finished and she left rather hurriedly. Bullying Potter seemed the last pleasure that Hogwarts still granted Severus. He smirked to himself. And he watched in amusement when the boy wrinkled his nose and screwed up his eyes while at work in the dungeons, sitting opposite him.

Remus was a positive wreck when Severus found him cowering on the stairs in the hall of his house on the day after the full moon. Severus couldn't quite believe that Remus had had the strength to send Severus a Patronus to tell him that he was all right.

"You don't look all right," said Severus loudly, making Remus groan and bury his face more deeply in his arms. "In fact you look dreadful."

"Thank you," croaked Remus and his voice was barely obeying him, "I always knew you liked me for my looks." He chuckled and his chuckle turned into a cough and his cough shook his frame so violently that Severus feared he would fall apart. Severus sat down next to him and allowed him to lean against his shoulder.

"Well, usually you are rather …" Nice to behold. Severus didn't finish his sentence. He felt Remus's tired eyes on him, intent as ever. The werewolf took Severus's hand into both of his own and Severus noticed his scratched and bruised knuckles. He fidgeted, feeling the urge to tend to Remus's wounds. "I thought I might see you at Hogwarts, but you weren't guarding the castle."

"No, Albus was kind enough to spare me this time …" rasped Remus and cleared his throat. To no effect. "Who was there?"

Severus hesitated and shrugged. "I only met the girl a few times," he said casually as Remus intertwined their fingers. "I don't know who else was there."

"I heard she's stationed at Hogwarts …" mumbled Remus. "Has she got better?"

Severus didn't answer immediately, instead he pulled out his wand and healed Remus's knuckles, with an uneasy feeling of déjà-vu. "I'll bring you to your bed," he said quietly, pulling Remus to his feet. "Stop brooding about unimportant things and think of me instead."

Remus smiled and leaned heavily on Severus when they ascended the stairs. "Do you know where Albus went?" he asked, stretching out a hand to the wall and Severus had the impression that the werewolf's head was swirling. They stopped for a moment in which Severus couldn't help but glower at his disinformation.

"He told me nothing," he admitted reluctantly, "just that he was going away on some important business. I suppose it is so very secret that Albus doesn't want to risk the Dark Lord catching a glimpse of it in my mind."

Remus shifted uneasily and continued down the landing, staggering without Severus's support. "I'm worried about you too," he rasped and stumbled into his bed. He held out his trembling hand, causing Severus to reach into his robes automatically to pull out the phials he had brought with him. It was a nicely familiar feeling. Remus closed his hand on Severus's when he gave him the phials and Severus found it impossible to suppress the churning of his stomach. "I love you," said Remus and his hoarse voice was milder than Severus had ever heard it, or at least it seemed to him like that.

Severus nodded without meeting his eyes and watched him drink the potions with great care and wondered whether Remus would believe him to be guilty. He had believed Black guilty. Black whom he had known for many years, whom he had trusted like he trusted Severus. But he had had doubts, hadn't he? He had expressed them to Severus. He would never be completely convinced that Severus was capable of the murder of Albus Dumbledore. Even if a hundred eye-witnesses swore to Severus's cold-bloodedness, he would never just accept it, he would never just believe it! Because he knew Severus, knew what he was really like, that he felt true remorse for his crimes, that loyalty was important to him, that responsibility was essential to him, that he was brave and self-sacrificing and sometimes even gentle.

Severus swallowed. But he also knew Severus's past in as much detail as Severus would permit. He knew that Severus was cruel at times, that he took pleasure in the suffering of those whom he despised. Remus knew that Severus had committed numerous crimes and he knew that he had been a convinced, devoted Death Eater, had wanted to be someone. Remus knew he was a good actor, an even better liar, an excellent Occlumens. There was no reason why he should doubt Severus's guilt. No reason but the fact that Remus believed he could see every lie in Severus's face, that he knew Severus well enough to know when he was being sincere. And hadn't Albus said that love was stronger than suspicion, or indeed the knowledge that your loved one had done something horrible? And still the question remained.

"Why?"

Severus had uttered the word without even noticing that it had reached his lips before Remus's lips had reached them. The werewolf had been leaning in for a kiss and stopped abruptly, raising his eyebrows. Severus focused his eyes an inch below Remus's. He was so very close. Severus couldn't imagine being deprived of this closeness again. Remus closed the gap between them thoughtfully and brushed his lips against Severus's before pulling back and considering him carefully.

"What do you mean, 'why'?" he asked and cocked his head to one side. Severus half shrugged, then he tried to meet Remus's eyes but couldn't hold his golden gaze for even one second.

"Why," he began slowly, folding his hands, "do you … love … me."

Remus didn't answer for a very long time during which he looked at the ceiling, rubbing his bruised elbow, pulled his tee-shirt over his head to reveal a few scratches on his back, and sighed when Severus put his hand into the small of his back just underneath the wound. He rubbed his neck and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up untidily.

"I don't think that I can put my finger on it," said Remus finally. "I just love you."

Severus was dissatisfied with that answer, he knew very well why he loved Remus, he knew exactly what character traits he liked and why he had initially wanted to be with him. Naturally, he had discovered many other things in Remus that he had grown to love, many things that only he could see, only he knew, and some of them were definitely physical, were in the werewolf's demeanour rather than his character – though the both were most probably connected. And still Severus knew that even though he had felt the strange, inexplicable attraction before he had known Remus he could tell which of Remus's many values he had fallen in love with first. And loved most now. Surely Remus, who had a much wider range of affectionate feelings would know why he let Severus of all people touch him in this way, why he craved his touch. He had to know! Because Severus needed to know.

"There must be a reason," muttered Severus, trying not to sound urgent or embarrassed. "You cannot tell me that you don't know."

Remus chuckled knowingly and reached out a hand to trace his fingers over Severus's jaw. "I meant that I love everything about you," he replied. "Not just one particular thing."

"That's a lie," retorted Severus, feeling superior for once, because he loved Remus's every face, "definitely, you do not love everything about me!"

The smile on Remus's face was annoying, it deflated Severus immediately. "Loving what you don't find lovable is the biggest challenge," he said with his smile seeping into his voice, "and I daresay I've mastered it."

"Show-off," mumbled Severus, leaning back to take a distracting look at Remus's wounded back, running his fingers gently over the skin around it. Remus laughed huskily and dropped his head to Severus's shoulder. "Your answer is unacceptable!"

"But, sir, isn't that a bit unfair?" teased Remus, his hand running up and down Severus's thigh. "You asked the wrong question. If you want to hear a few examples of what I like about you then please say so and you will get an answer."

"Forget it," snapped Severus defensively and resisted the urge to press his face into Remus's neck. He wouldn't give the insolent werewolf the satisfaction! But that was exactly his problem, that was exactly why he had to ask for Remus's reasons and wouldn't accept his vague answer. His body was stiff with silly embarrassment and his hand was frozen to Remus's hot skin, he couldn't take it away. "Just admit that there is nothing …"

Remus snuggled up to him – Severus shifted awkwardly – and sighed in slight exasperation. But he was patient as always, mild and kind. "I believe that if you think back, you will find many things that I've already told you. Your passion, your devotion and sense of responsibility; I have rarely met anyone who was so keen on perfection and subtlety. Your depths and complexity, your bravery, your gentleness –"

"Right," snorted Severus but Remus nudged him in the ribs with his elbow.

"Your sincerity," he continued and Severus swallowed hard, his neck burning unpleasantly. "I love the way you are kind without actually showing it. And the way you are selfless without expecting praise. You are strong and self-confident and you stand tall in the eyes of your enemies and strong in the eyes of your friends, and proud in the eyes of … those who still doubt you." Remus paused and Severus regretted having asked. It made him feel uncomfortable and guilty and at the same time wonderfully proud and reassured. There it was again, that torn feeling. "Forgive me the list. I might try to give an example … You once said to me that you don't want me to see you as a monster, but there is no way I ever could. What you told me you had done over a year ago, after you had kissed me in the staircase at Grimmauld Place, I could have justified as a necessary sacrifice, that I would have been too weak to make, or a horrible act for a greater purpose that two people had to suffer … But there is nothing I could have said to make you feel less guilty about what you had to do. And that's why I love you, because under that wonderful façade of yours, hides such a sensitive man, who has gone through more than most people can even imagine. And you don't care if anyone knows, you endure the scathing looks of others."

Severus shrugged helplessly. "You … you know," he said, his voice barely audible due to the suffocating feeling in his chest. Remus squeezed Severus's arm.

"I do …" agreed Remus thoughtfully, then he chuckled and added, "And what is it that you love in me?"

Severus's insides turned to ice. In the last moment he succeeded in forcing down the 'why do you think I love anything in you?' that had been on the tip of his moronic tongue. Now that the question had been asked, what made it hard to answer was certainly not the difficulties he had in actually finding words for what he loved in particular, for he knew that he loved Remus's patience and his understanding, his kindness and his forgiving nature and so many other things that he could have talked for hours about his love for him. No, it was the fact that Remus's question had been as good as saying outright 'do you love me?' And Severus felt ashamed for finding it bold of Remus to assume that Severus loved him, because he knew that Remus had been sly in his insecurity, trying to get the words, the confession out of Severus.

It was a simple, a plain question. 'What do you love in Remus Lupin?'

Severus didn't answer. Indeed, he didn't utter another word before he left for Hogwarts and the crease on Remus's forehead and the forced, bittersweet smile on his face stabbed Severus straight in the chest. But his tongue was tied. He couldn't even let Remus kiss him good-bye.

His mood could not have been worse and McGonagall's timing to tell him off not more inconvenient. Draco had failed to hand in his Transfiguration homework and she held Severus responsible. Something seemed to be wrong with the boy. As if Severus didn't know. Why didn't anyone notice that the same was wrong with Severus? He would talk to the boy. In fact, Severus who had never made an Unbreakable Vow, did not know when the last warning before your death came to you, or how you knew that you were breaking your Vow. He had not wasted much thought on it yet, but he remembered now that he would have to offer Draco his assistance and block all suspicion that was directed at him. Albus had better hurry up with whatever he was teaching Potter, for if Draco let Severus help him, he would die sooner than expected. Because should Severus try and sabotage the boy it would mean breaking his Vow and thereby breaking his contract with life itself. And he hadn't even told Remus … anything but disrespectful things really. Maybe he was saving that for later, so that he still had something left to do before he died.

But he lost precious time before his inevitable death with timid silence once again and he felt a right failure for the falling back into old habits. But he had the impression that he wasn't the only one, for it took Remus two weeks, two painfully long weeks to make up his mind and send a Patronus to Severus who already caught himself being relieved that Draco avoided him, didn't seek his advice, didn't come to Severus's office when asked to. Sometimes he thought his right arm prickled in warning of his approaching death and it made him nervous despite himself, made him eager to talk with Remus. But sending Patronuses to and fro was not the same. Indeed, nothing less than Remus's hand in his would be enough.

The silver raven appeared on the papers on Severus's desk with such precision that Severus wondered how a man who was so poor an Apparator could actually manage such fine, perfect magic. It still seemed rather strange that a raven as big as a middle-sized dog should speak in Remus's voice, but its silver eyes had a similar effect as Remus's golden ones, looking into them, Severus felt as if his soul was sucked into them and stored away deep inside. A raven like a tabernacle.

"I'm surrounded by people. In fact, I'm never alone, and yet, I feel isolated. I miss you."

Severus found the message so concise and to the point that he thought for a few minutes about what to reply without sounding eloquently inferior before sending his doe to deliver his own message. He wondered at the same time whether Remus found it amusing that Severus's Patronus was a doe. Just like Severus had found it strange that Remus's was a raven.

"Maybe you understand now that I feel isolated at Hogwarts. I was waiting for your message."

Remus took his time to answer this and Severus returned to correcting the homework on his desk. He scolded himself for not having added something by the lines of 'I regretted that you didn't send me a message earlier' or 'I missed you too'. That might have made up for his silence the other day. While he was brooding and marking Granger's homework a grudging E, Remus's raven reappeared in a burst of silver vapour and opened its beak to let Remus's nice humming voice escape it.

"Forgive me my initial ignorance, I feel with you quite literally. I wish I didn't have any duties. You are aware that you could have sent me a message to tell me that you wanted to talk to me?"

Severus scowled as the raven evaporated and he blotted Dean Thomas's average homework in red ink while he was biting his tongue in thought. He pondered his reply carefully, but not too carefully because he wanted to seem busy with work instead of busy with thinking up a good reply. As he reached for his wand again he knocked over his ink bottle and groaned angrily.

"Duties! You are interrupting my duties. I hardly think that camping with the savages qualifies as 'duties'. Much rather it is daredevillish, silly heroism. You utter Gryffindor. And it is vain to argue who should have sent a message first."

Severus thought he had thoroughly shown Remus what he thought of his excuses. But a second later he regretted having wasted Remus's precious time alone with his Patronus to give him the same talk as always. When the raven returned Severus heard for the first time that Patronus's could transmit more than just speech. It actually chuckled hoarsely.

"I'll just go on with the conversation, otherwise we will end up in endless defiant discussion. You know you only have to wait long enough and I will call on you. What was it you wanted to tell me?"

Severus hesitated. Remus knew about his Unbreakable Vow, but explaining it to him while he might be in earshot of the werewolves was dangerous. And somehow it was a strange situation to discuss such a grave matter in. Though he enjoyed Remus's voice and especially the fact that Remus didn't still think about Severus's silence, he found it rather hard to lead a serious conversation without actually looking at Remus.

"It is just some foolish feeling I have, never you mind. I suppose you just wanted to say hello yourself?"

Remus was quick to answer and there was a chuckle in his voice again.

"Have you forgotten whom you are talking to? I care about your troubles, of course I mind. And I've already said what I wanted to say: I miss you."

Severus couldn't suppress a smug smile but didn't comment it at first, just tried to still Remus's curiosity.

"Let us talk about it when you are here again."

Now that sounded as if he didn't care if Remus missed him. it sounded as if he didn't miss him as well, as if he didn't regret that he couldn't see him now to tell him that his arm seemed to be prickling as if it wanted to tell him that if he didn't get a move on, his Vow would kill him. And on second thought he sent another Patronus so fast that he couldn't change his mind.

"Me too, you insufferable flee-magnet."

Meaning in plain Snapish: I miss you as well, my love. Not that he would ever call Remus 'my love', just like he wouldn't say 'I love you'; though he wondered why. Severus found that Remus took his time again and after a few minutes he wondered whether the other werewolves had found him and were now watching him again. The homework lying before Severus on the table seemed suddenly even duller than before and the feeling in his right arm crept up to his shoulder and Severus had an uneasiness in his chest that he couldn't get rid of. Just when he was rubbing his chest, regretting that he hadn't told Remus about his woes, the door opened without anyone having knocked and Albus stepped in with a smile and a bow and sat down opposite Severus who froze and hoped dearly that Remus could not send a message right now.

"Can I help you, Headmaster?" asked Severus as respectfully as he would only be with Albus and his eyes fell to the cursed ring that now stuck on Albus's finger. Foolish old man.

"I was just passing by," lied Albus with a kind smile, causing Severus to glower quite darkly. He didn't like to be patronised.

"If you have nothing to say to me you might as well step out again," snarled Severus and returned to his papers. "I'm rather busy as you can see."

Albus smiled audibly and Severus raised his eyes. "Are you happy with your new position?" he asked pleasantly and Severus shrugged. "Why, Severus, I would have expected some enthusiasm."

"Enthusiasm?" repeated Severus sarcastically. "For what? For the fact that in a year's time I will have to leave the post? Or that I have to help Draco murder you? Or that I will have to murder you? Or that –" Severus stopped abruptly. He had meant to continue with losing Remus. Losing his soft hair against his cheek, his sweet scent in his nose, his mild voice in his ears, his warm skin against his. It wouldn't do to utter such embarrassing things.

Albus's smile faltered for a second. But just a second. "Come now, Severus, you should live more for the moment. You should try and enjoy the time that you still have instead of brooding over things to come. Use your time well, now that you know what awaits you."

"Is that what you do?" asked Severus flatly, his eyes flitting to Albus's injured hand. Albus smiled.

"Would you kindly give me something to take against the effects of the curse, Severus," he said and Severus could hardly believe that the Headmaster was showing a weakness. "After days of travelling I feel somewhat weak."

"Could that be just your age, Headmaster?" asked Severus ironically as he got to his feet and approached one of his cupboards to open a drawer. "We can only hope that the curse does not spread faster than I thought. I would rather you didn't push yourself so much. Why not delegate some tasks to others? Me, for instance?"

He turned back to Albus with a flask in his hand that he held out to him. Albus inclined his head and took it from him. "This is something that I must do, no one else."

"But what if you cannot finish what you are doing, before …" Severus trailed off, waving his hand uneasily.

"Don't worry, Severus, I am already preparing for that case," said Albus dismissively and Severus knew there was no point in asking for an elaboration. "I thank you very much for this, Severus, I trust I may ask for more should I need it?"

Severus nodded gravely, convinced that Albus would need it. "As you know, I am at your service."

Albus smiled. "Any news from Voldemort?" he asked casually and Severus gave him a scolding look as he shook his head. "Good … I suppose he trusts you with your task … Oh, have you spoken to Remus, recently? He has not yet reported back to me."

Severus sat back down and stared at his papers. "No," he lied brazenly, hoping even more dearly that Remus wouldn't send a message just now, "maybe he cannot report, because they've found him out?"

"Maybe there is nothing to report yet …" replied Albus calmly and got to his feet. "And if you want to use your time well, you should perhaps tell him so."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," muttered Severus, scratching a T into the corner of Potter's essay. Albus chuckled and moved to the door and just when his hand touched the handle, there was a burst of silver on Severus's desk and Remus's raven appeared to open its beak. Severus groaned. The message was short, luckily.

"Thank you."

But his voice was so full of emotion that Albus could not mistake it for anything but what it was, a lover's utterance – no, so much more than just a lover. The raven disappeared into thin air and left Severus without anything to hide behind, exposed to Albus's blue gaze. The old man grinned insolently and gave Severus a questioning look.

"That sounded grateful," said Albus and Severus rolled his eyes, "what did you do for him?"

Severus shook his head and averted his eyes. "Nothing," he said truthfully and guiltily, rather embarrassed with the effect he had had on the werewolf. "Remus Lupin exaggerates small things like a true Gryffindor. You must be proud."

Albus cocked his head to one side and narrowed his eyes at Severus with a thoughtful smile. "Sometimes nothing can be very much indeed," he said quietly, startling Severus utterly. "So, is there anything worth reporting?"

Severus folded his hands on the table. "Only if you count being beaten up by the other werewolves."

Albus nodded and opened the door, lingering for a few more seconds before stepping out and saying, "I'm sure that your nothing was quite much."

Severus watched the door close, guilt smouldering his insides. He picked up his wand with hesitant fingers and produced a few sparks as he waved it undecidedly. What could he say, really? Remus's message had been so final. Had he ended the conversation? Or was he waiting for another Patronus? Well, at least Severus knew what he wanted himself. He waved his wand and his silver doe galloped to wherever Remus was currently sitting in wait for it. Severus was sure he was waiting, he could feel it.

"I'm just sending this to make you talk some more."