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Chapter 37-BPOV

I was only conscious of what was happening to me in a small part of my brain. The rest of my mind was entirely focused on the fact that Edward, kneeling prostrate in front of the Volturi, was about to be ripped to shreds. My heart physically hurt at the thought. The idea of him no longer existing was more than I could bear. Never mind if I was still here or not, Edward not existing was a travesty. The threats I made to the Volturi to avenge Edward's murder had been my last desperate effort to protect him. They had been useless, and now there was nothing I could do to save him. I felt such a sickening sense of déjà vu at the thought that I actually felt physically ill. I couldn't bring myself to care about my own impending demise.

Time and time again I had failed him and now, as a tribute to my most epic failure, he was going to be destroyed. The beautiful boy who I had selfishly doomed to an eternity of night just so that I'd never have to say goodbye to him was going to be ripped to shreds.

I should have left him alone. My mind raced back to those many months ago when the bronze haired boy with the striking green eyes had first entered the biology classroom. He had wrecked havoc on my life, and consequently made me happier than I had been in all my many years of simply existing. Despite all of that, looking over at him now, I knew I should have found a way to keep him away. I was weak and selfish, and now he was paying the ultimate price for it. I felt guilt crushing me and I heard myself cry out.

The scream died on my lips as I heard another voice join mine in protest against our demise. I stared in disbelief, unable to accept what I was seeing. James. Why was he here? I listened as he told Aro that he had information relating to Edward. I furrowed my brow in confusion. What information could he possibly have? In characteristic James fashion, he turned and winked at me as he spoke to Aro.

I glanced quickly at Edward, immediately grateful that, for the time being, he appeared to be unharmed. My captors had loosened their grip as they too gaped at the unannounced, and obviously unexpected visitor.

If nothing else, James appeared to have bought us some more time. But what was a few more moments when compared to the eternity that I had dared believe that I would have with Edward? I could think of nothing that James would be able to say that would spare Edward or me. In fact, I couldn't think of a single reason that James would want to even try and save us. Impossibly, my heart filled with even more dread as I thought about the other possibility. What if James didn't come here to try and save us, but instead he came to put the proverbial last nail in our coffins.

My vision became hazy as fury filled me. I let a rage-filled growl slide past my lips as I sneered at James from across the room. He stood leaning against Aro's chair, a relaxed smirk on his face as Aro grasped his hand. As my snarl reached him, he looked over at me, raising his eyebrows. He shook his head slightly and smiled, which only served to increase my fury. He was so smug, standing there casually with Aro as Edward and I waited for our destruction. I wanted to fly across the room and rip his head off. But, since I was still being held by the immovable hands of the guard, I was forced to simply observe.

"I see," Aro said, glancing at me.

"Good, I'm glad," James smirked lazily.

I glanced at Edward to see if he was getting a read on James' thoughts, but the expression on his face was the same one of astonishment that he had worn when James had first entered the room. I watched, warily, unsure of what was transpiring between Aro and James.

Aro glanced at the members of his guard that had me in their iron grip. Wordlessly, he gestured to them, and suddenly I was free. I gasped in surprise as I sprung to my feet, whirling toward Edward. I was sure they were releasing me in order to further secure their capture of him, although they would have no trouble containing both of us. There were plenty of willing and able guardsmen.

To my surprise, however, Edward was also free. We gazed at each other in wary but grateful surprise for a moment. At the same time, we reached for one another's hands and I sighed, relieved, if only for the moment, when our skin met. I felt undeniable pleasure flood through me as I felt the spark of electricity flow between us.

"It appears that James here has corroborated your story, Bella. In the face of such irrefutable evidence, it would be a gross miscarriage of justice to exact punishment on either you or your mate. Although, we do so wish you'd reconsider our offer and join us, you and your family are free to go," Aro said, nodding and spreading his hands in front of him.

We all stared for a moment in disbelief. Behind Aro, Caius snarled quietly, clearly displeased with Aro's ruling. Glancing back at Caius' angry face, James hurried over to us. I could only look at him in disbelief.

"We should go," he said quietly as he reached us. He glanced at Edward before placing his hand on the small of my back and steering me out of the room. Edward and the rest of my family followed closely behind.

As soon as we were back in the luxurious lobby, I twisted out of James' light grasp, moving closer to Edward. He placed his arm around my shoulders and I glanced up at him, remembering his reaction to James the last time the two had met. Now that we were out from under the Volturi's watchful gaze, I couldn't be sure Edward would keep his temper in check in James' presence, even though James was apparently responsible for our freedom. Remembering that, I turned to James with a questioning look.

"What just happened in there?"

James smiled as he stopped to lean against the wall. I stopped, rather unwillingly, too, and the rest of our group halted, glancing nervously around at each other. It seemed to be an unspoken consensus that none of us would feel completely safe until we were out of Volterra. James shrugged, the smile still on his face as he glanced from me to Edward.

"You really love her, don't you?" He spoke to Edward, and for a moment I was afraid a conflict was about to break out between the two of them.

"Yes, I do. More than anything," Edward said softly, tightening his grip on my shoulders.

"You'll take care of her then," James said and it wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. I looked back and forth in confusion between the two of them, trying desperately to understand the cryptic conversation the two men were having.

Edward nodded fervently. "I will. Forever."

James nodded, and seemed satisfied by Edward's answer.

"Edward, James…what…" I broke off as James held his hand out to Edward. Edward smiled a grim smile and shook James' hand without hesitation.

"You should get out of here. I can't promise Aro won't realize that he's gotten a raw deal after all and come after you if you hang around too long," James said, releasing Edward's hand.

"What do you mean, James? What deal? Aren't you coming with us?" I asked, more confused than ever.

James smiled down at me. "No, Bella. This is as far as I go. Edward can explain it all to you. Go." He swept his hands in front of him in a gesture indicating that we should be on our way. Using the arm that was still slung around my shoulders, Edward gently guided me toward the exit.

"James, wait!" I called, breaking away from Edward and running back to James. His eyes were ancient and sad as I reached him. I paused for a moment to look back at Edward. He nodded and looked back toward the exit as he and the rest of the group waited for me.

I turned to James. "I don't know what you did, or…why, but thank you." I flung my arms around him quickly and I felt him laugh against my shoulder as he put his arms around me.

"You're worth it, Bella. You deserve to be happy," he whispered.

I moved back to Edward, and as I heard the soft ding announcing the elevator's arrival, I glanced back at him one last time, my mind still whirling over the events of the past hour or so. The elevator doors closed on us, and we were whisked back to the street level.

Edward glanced down at me and squeezed my hand as he smiled. I felt too dazed to even speak until a member of the guard was closing the gates to Volterra behind us.

"Thank you for visiting Volterra. Come back soon," said the smiling vampire. None of us said anything in return. We simply hurried down the street to find a taxi. The car ride was silent. None of us felt safe discussing the events that had just transpired with the taxi driver in such close proximity. I wasn't sure how Edward was feeling, but I still felt wary and on edge. We had come so close to being destroyed, I could hardly believe we were now free.

It wasn't until several hours later when the six of us were crowded around the scrubbed wood table of our tiny Parisian cottage than any of us began to discuss the events of the past day. We all turned to Edward for an explanation.

Edward took a deep breath and shrugged. "He made a deal with them: his service for our freedom."

My eyes widened in surprise. I had thought that James had agreed to do something for the Volturi, but I had never imagined that he had agreed to become one of them.

"What?" I cried. "What do you mean his service? He joined the guard? For us?"

Edward nodded thoughtfully, silent for a moment.

"Wow," Jessica said quietly. Charlie and Mike were silent and Renee shook her head pensively.

"Bella, he really loves you," Edward said softly, his voice laced with sadness.

I felt guilt rocket through me. "But I didn't ask for this…how could he…" I faded off, unsure of what to say.

Edward reached for my hand and rubbed his thumb over it soothingly. "I know, honey, he doesn't think that you asked for this. He did it voluntarily. At first, he tried to just be a witness, to give a second account of the events that had transpired with Jane, but it quickly became obvious that the Volturi wouldn't be swayed, so he offered himself."

Again, I was stunned into silence. Sensing my distress, Edward looked up at me and smiled reassuringly. "He really doesn't look at it as much of a sacrifice, you know. He won't have to change his diet any, and I really sensed a note of excitement in his thoughts. He sees it as a new challenge. Plus, Aro was very eager to get someone with his tracking abilities on his side. James will be well taken care of."

I shook my head. I was sure I knew James better than that. The one thing he valued above all was his freedom. The freedom to travel and answer to no one. I couldn't imagine that life as a member of the Volturi guard was something he wanted for himself. He had done this, this selfless, self-sacrificing thing for us, for me.

"How could he do this? He hates the Volturi," I mumbled, still shaking my head.

Edward shrugged. "I didn't know him before, Bella, but honestly, he seems to get along with them. He spent a lot of time with them in Volterra after you two separated. I think he'll be fine. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful to him for what he did for us, but I think he's going to be just fine."

I couldn't wrap my head around it. It seemed impossible that he would do something like that for me. I knew James still cared for me. I knew he still loved me even, but to do something like that just to save Edward and me was incredible.

"So, that's it?" I asked in hesitant disbelief. "We're…free?" I glanced around at my family. They all smiled warmly at us and nodded.

Jessica shrugged. "I knew it would all work out."

Edward raised an eyebrow at her. "Really? You didn't seem so confident before we got there."

At Edward's words, Jessica dropped her eyes to the table and mumbled something unintelligible. Suddenly, she was on her feet, and her tiny arms were stretched around both of us.

"I'm glad you're okay. I was really worried." Her voice was intense. Both Edward and I hugged her, patting her back reassuringly.

We spent a little more time around the table discussing the Volturi situation and James' unexpected aide. Soon, Charlie and Renee looked at each other.

"Bella, Edward, as much as we hate to leave, I've got to get back to the station." Charlie said, pushing his chair back and standing from the table.

"We should go, too. I'm sure you two want to have your…celebration time," Mike said, wagging his eyebrows at Edward and me. We laughed, and Edward punched Mike's arm. Mike grimaced and glared at Edward. This time, Edward didn't apologize, and I thought he looked a little smug as we walked everyone to the door.

"I'm so glad you two are okay. Come visit as soon as you can," Renee whispered as she embraced first me, and then Edward. After several more goodbyes and reassurances to visit soon, we closed the door behind my family.

As I leaned against the closed door, I sighed, feeling drained. I looked at Edward, and he smiled down at me as he wrapped me in his strong arms. I could feel the stress and strain of the past day that he'd been holding back in the presence of others begin to surface as we held each other in the tiny hallway. We were silent for a long time, simply holding each other and basking in each other's presence. I couldn't believe how close I had come to losing everything today. I clung to him as he scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom, his lips searching to find mine as he moved.

"Bella…" he growled into my neck, and suddenly his hands were everywhere as he set me down on the bed. His words were mostly unintelligible as we moved together, but I caught certain phrases like "forever" and "never again" and "you're mine" and "almost gone" and "love you".

He made love to me with an air of desperation, like he couldn't get close enough, or hold me tight enough. I knew how he felt, because I felt exactly the same way as I ran my hands up and down every inch of him, wanting to get impossibly closer to him.

"Edward….I love you," I gasped into his shoulder.

"Bella…I love you too. Don't ever leave me…" he moaned, moving his face so I could see his eyes.

I shook my head, "No, never. I'll never leave you. I love you. I love you so much, Edward. We're going to be together forever."

As the words left my lips, I was struck by the truth of them. We had survived so much. We had come so far, and we had done it all together. I knew then that it wouldn't matter what happened, as long as we had each other, we would be fine. And we would have each other every day for the rest of forever.