Gravity Chapter 37 Own Up, a naruto fanfic

DNON

A/N—Thank you everyone for all the lovely reviews so far. Whenever I get stuck, I read them again for inspiration.

Sakura's Unicorn, I love you, friend! Thank you so much for all your help with my stories. I wish I could put you in more of them, heehee. That was fun!

For those of you who haven't checked out the LJ—Sasu/Saku month stuff happening, there are already many interesting Sasu/Saku drabbles stories going on over there that were written by some very talented people. I've even written one—a rather silly one—starring S.U. There's a link written out on Sakura's Unicorn's homepage to get there. Go check them all out.

Other chapter updates—Hmmm, FK is about 50% done, Co9t is about 60%, Gravity 38 is about 75% done—if you're interested in knowing. I'm also busy writing many other stories! I can't wait to share them!

Enjoy the update, everyone!

K&K

0o0o0

Gravity

Chapter 37—Own Up

0o0o0

Early in the morning, there was a knock at the back door.

"Sasuke-kun," Kakashi greeted when the young Uchiha opened it. "Ohayo!" The silver-haired ninja waved, his eye squinting genially. On his shoulder perched the little white cat. "I've brought you a houseguest."

"Please come in, Kakashi." Sasuke nodded respectfully and stepped back. Kakashi followed him into the kitchen.

"Where's Sakura? Still sleeping?"

Sasuke frowned. "She woke up a lot during the night. I think she keeps dreaming she's back in Wind Country." Sasuke put the kettle on and found a can of tuna for the cat.

"Has she talked much about it yet?"

Sasuke shook his head. Since he brought her home, Sakura'd barely spoken at all and that bothered him more than anything. His dark eyes were troubled and he hadn't slept much either.

"Be careful with her, Sasuke-kun. Just because they kept her well doesn't mean they didn't torture her. In fact, I'd guess they had. We were lucky to find her when we did."

"Aa." Sasuke's jaw tensed. Sakura still cried in her sleep—he didn't know why, but she was still stressed and it came out through her nightmares. He couldn't cease his dark thoughts of retribution.

Kakashi's steel-gray eye caught Sasuke's contemplative stare. "I didn't stop by just to bring you the cat, Sasuke. I wanted to make sure you're not planning any unscheduled trips out of town."

The teapot started to whistle. Sasuke turned off the flame and prepared two cups of tea before he answered, his back still turned toward his mentor.

"I can't make any promises, Kakashi."

"You'll worry her."

Sasuke stiffened for a split second; Kakashi sensed this was what had held the boy back. Sakura's psyche was somewhat fragile. They'd all seen her near-breakdown in Wind Country. Sasuke slowly turned and set two cups on the table.

Kakashi picked up his cup and blew off the steam. "At the very least promise me that you won't leave town without me." He sipped the aromatic brew.

Sakura's abduction hadn't only affected him, Sasuke thought; she's precious to others, too. The daimyo had made more than one powerful enemy by taking her—Kakashi would be a strong ally.

Sasuke sat and watched him in silence for another whole minute before he nodded and took a drink. Kakashi silently accepted his decision.

Kakashi was proud of the boy—he had grown enormously from the child who thought only about revenge and killing. Now he had something important to protect. Revenge was a dish best served cold. Perhaps they should wait and settle the score after Sakura had safely delivered their son.

"Sensei?"

"Sakura-chan!" Kakashi rose to muss her bed-head hair good-naturedly, like he used to when she was younger. "Good morning. I've brought your little friend. What did you say her name was again?"

"Jinx—I named her Jinx."

"Jinx, eh?" Kakashi chucked and scratched his head. "Well, that's funny. I've been calling her Lucky 'cause we were so lucky that she led us to you."

The faint smile Sakura gave him didn't reach her eyes as she recalled recent memories. "Neither one of us was happy to be together at first, Sensei." Sakura absently pet the cat who was happily chowing down on Sasuke's offering. "But Jinx here…she saved my life…" Her eyes took on a vacant expression and she explained no further. Kakashi and Sasuke exchanged a glance and Kakashi shook his head—better not to push her for details.

"Sakura-chan."

She jumped when Kakashi said her name. "Sorry, Sensei?"

"Have you eaten breakfast yet? We could go meet Naruto and Sai at Ichiraku's."

"Ah." Not making eye contact with either man, Sakura looked around uncomfortably, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and playing with the collar of her T-shirt. "I was thinking of making something here."

"There's no food here," Sasuke informed her. "I haven't done any shopping."

"Surely there's rice—"

Sasuke frowned. "It's not healthy for you to just—"

"Sasuke-kun, why don't I keep Sakura company while you find something nice and healthy to go along with the rice?" Kakashi suggested.

Sasuke exchanged another silent conversation with Kakashi before he relented and nodded. "Is there anything special you'd like from the store, Sakura?"

Sakura thought for a second—it'd been months since she'd been able to choose what she wanted to eat. An abundance of choices came to mind but she didn't know what to pick first.

"Um…maybe some tofu, achara-zuke, chawan mushi, saikyo-zuke, an pan, and…tangerines." Sakura covered her mouth when she realized she was ticking off all the foods that she'd craved and been denied the last few months. Sasuke hated sweets—he would detest most of her choices. "Er, wait, I, uh, that's silly. We don't need all that food, Sasuke-kun, I—"

"You make some rice." Sasuke got the bag of rice out of the cupboard and set it next to the rice cooker. "I won't take long."

0o0o0

Sasuke shuffled toward the village markets, unsure if just buying food for Sakura would be any help toward making her feel better. He hoped Kakashi might be able to get her to open up…but wouldn't it be better if she could open up to him? They'd slept in the same bed last night but he hadn't been able to keep the terrors from her dreams—watching her, he'd felt helpless.

He tried to think back to his childhood—what had his parents done to give him confidence when he was hurting? His father usually just pushed him aside, told him he should aim to be as good as his brother, but never really thought his second son would measure up. His mother had always been there, not out front, but in the background, quietly praising him—always there when he was troubled with something that comforted him.

The first time he'd succeeded in using fire jutsu, he'd come home with his lips swollen and red. Mother had given him a special popsicle, made with lemon and honey. The honey helped to heal the burns, but since he didn't care for sweets, she'd mixed in lemon to balance out the sweetness.

Whenever he'd had a setback when he was training, she always made sure there was a side dish of his favorite, tomatoes on the dinner table.

'I guess food can bring a little comfort.' He hastened his pace, determined to find things that Sakura would like.

Until a green-suited nuisance crossed his path.

"Uchiha-san, I am so happy to have found you. Do you know where I can find my one, true love, the light of my life, Sakura-san?"

Sasuke glowered at the over-eager ninja and stepped around him to continue on. He didn't have time for Lee's childish declarations.

"Perhaps you have not heard the dastardly rumors going around the village besmirching my pure sweetheart." Lee jumped back in front of him. "My true love has been tarnished by a cruel twist of fate, but fear not. I still love her and no matter who has sullied her, I will cherish her and take all her worries away with true love's kiss."

"If you touch her, I'll kill you."

"Worry not, Uchiha-san, I will surely marry Sakura-san before my lips touch her pureness."

"The hell you will," Sasuke growled.

Lee stood straight up, his finger pointing in the air. "You're right, Sasuke-san. I should not go to her empty handed. I will buy her the most lovely flowers and the sweetest sweets to show her how much I love her." Lee bolted toward the market before Sasuke could stop him.

When Sasuke entered the marketplace, Lee was buzzing around, acting the fool, bragging loudly and collecting all manner of odd things to 'proclaim his love.'

Sasuke scoffed. That imbecile didn't know Sakura's heart. He didn't know her likes and dislikes. Lee was simply buying up anything and everything that looked big and bright and flashy. He didn't truly know Sakura. How kind, but also humble she was—how loving.

Sasuke strained his brain, trying to remember every little thing she liked. He also found all the things the baby manual Kakashi had given him during their search for Sakura said were good for pregnant woman. By the time he'd finished, the sales people looked at him with wary eyes, wondering if he'd gone crazy too or if he was in some sort of contest with the more energetic ninja in the green suit buying up weird things around the market.

They finally ran into each other again as they were leaving.

"Uchiha-san, I see you too have done some shopping."

"Give it up, Lee."

"Ah, you mean Sakura-san? You are a most worthy opponent, Sasuke-san, but I will give it my all. Sakura-san will be mine."

"Sakura and our son belong with me. Don't even try to stand in my way, Rock Lee."

"Your son? You are the rogue who defiled my cherry blossom?" Lee dropped his piles of goods and flowers.

Sasuke's eyes turned a menacing red.

0o0o0

Sakura measured out the rice and water and started the pot while Kakashi made her a cup of tea.

"Thank you, Sensei." Sakura sat down and took a sip—still not making eye contact with him.

"About going out, Sakura," Kakashi watched her shrink into her chair. He saw the faint tremor in her hand before she tightened her grip around her mug. "Ah, they won't miss us, so don't feel bad."

"I guess so," she admitted, feeling guilty. She felt bad that she couldn't meet with her friends, but she didn't think she could handle seeing all the villagers, knowing what they thought of her now. Hanshu's voice whispered in her mind, calling her a whore—a disgrace. It was easy to say she didn't care what others thought of her, but the truth was she did—she always had.

Kakashi waved off the awkward silence. He thought she might feel strange about just picking up where she'd left off—she was the other reason he'd stopped by. "Sakura, did I ever tell you about the time I spent two months in solitary in a prison in Stone Country?"

Sakura's eyes widened. "Really?" Kakashi never told them much about his life before Team Seven. She took another drink to conceal her intense interest in how he'd handled being in isolation.

"Yeah. Sixty-four days, twelve hours, eight minutes, and twenty-two seconds." Kakashi watched Sakura's hand freeze with her cup an inch off the tabletop. "I didn't even have my trusty book to keep me company." Kakashi added, as he carefully observed Sakura's reaction. She blinked back sudden tears and he knew he'd hit a nerve. "I think I looked forward to the times when they tortured me just because of the companionship. I don't talk about it often—being under someone else's thumb…it wasn't easy." He clearly saw the relief in her eyes. "Most people don't understand how maddening isolation can be, Sakura-chan."

Sakura nodded fervently. "Hanshu…he wouldn't let me talk to anyone…" Her mouth snapped shut and she looked down at her lap, self-conscious. She was ashamed.

How dare she say that she sometimes looked forward to conversation with the man who planned to steal her son and make her his whore? The guilt of betraying Sasuke was crushing her. Surely, once he found out, he'd put her on the street—she'd bartered away his son to protect herself. She slumped in her chair.

Kakashi recognized the signs of a broken spirit. He ached for his young student, but he knew she had to bounce back from this at her own pace—mental torment was oftentimes worse than physical. Bruises fade and bones heal, but the mind could hold you captive forever.

"Just take your time, Sakura. Nobody expects you to jump back into the old routine."

"Kakashi…I…Sasuke…"

"He'll wait. That boy loves you. I watched him turn three countries inside out searching for you."

She smiled softly.

"He's scared, too."

Her smile faded.

"He blames himself—and rightly so," he added gruffly.

"No," she gasped and he shook his head, his eye taking on a steely glint. He reached across the table and took her hand.

"Sakura, a man needs to own up to his mistakes. It's not easy to say you were wrong and it's even harder to ask for forgiveness."

"There's nothing to forgive."

"Sakura, I'm not your father, and my moral compass is certainly not pointing north, but don't you dare think for one moment that I will let you put all this on yourself. I'm at fault, too."

"Sensei."

"Young lady, I've known how you felt about Sasuke. It's been clear to me since you were twelve. I also knew Sasuke cared for you, yet, I let you stay alone with him because I thought you two were a good match. It was like one of my cheesy romance novels come to life. I saw the chance and I pushed you together because you're so good for him."

Sakura couldn't believe her ears. "Sensei, I'm a grown woman—"

"Barely. I knew that your mother planned for you to have a respectable life and I let you down." It was well-known what most people thought of a young woman having a child on her own—they were outcasts in society. It wasn't fair, the dishonor and degradation they had to suffer. Her mother was a wise woman to want to see her daughter taken care of—as one of her guardians, Kakashi knew he'd fucked up. "Sakura, I'm sorry for putting you in this position."

"Sensei!" Sakura scoffed indignantly. "I'm not sorry that I'm pregnant—not at all."

Kakashi reached across the table and tilted her chin up to look in her eyes. "No regrets? No tears?"

She averted her eyes, twisted her lips, self-deprecatingly, and blushed to the roots of her pale pink hair. "Well…it took some time." Distractedly, she drew a finger through the ring on the table left by her teacup, streaking the liquid over the dark wood grain. She didn't want to think about how Hanshu did his best to make her feel ashamed—of how he succeeded in humiliating her over and over. She loved and wanted this baby more than anything in the world. And even if she had to raise him alone, Sakura would never let this child be ashamed of where he came from.

"You're a good girl, Sakura. Don't ever think that you're not. Just remember, today's gossip is forgotten tomorrow. You're going to make a wonderful mother."

She smiled shyly and looked up at him from behind the curtain of her bangs. "You think?"

Kakashi nodded. "And Sasuke's a fine young man. He's spent the last four months putting up with Naruto day and night, so you know he's patient—even if he is a bit socially maladjusted. Just be patient with him, too."

"Hai," Sakura sighed and rubbed her belly. Sasuke had to decide for himself how much and in what capacity he wanted to be in their lives. Never again would she let herself be helpless and wish for someone else to come to her rescue. She loved Sasuke, but she didn't want his pity—and she never wanted to feel hopeless again.

"Well, Sakura-chan, you know, you've practically raised Team Seven—a bunch of misfit, orphan boys, all with chips on our shoulders—save a bit of that kindness and understanding for yourself, ok?"

"I'll give myself time, Sensei."

"Good girl."

The back door opened and Sasuke came in, laden with bags and bags of more food then they could eat in a week.

"Sasuke-kun, you bought so much!" A giggle escaped the much-too-serious of late girl, when she saw the myriad of fruits and vegetables in every color of the rainbow overflowing from the sacks Sasuke hauled in. In addition to all the things she'd asked for, Sasuke bought even more sweets—like the yokan she loved when they were younger that she hadn't purchased in years because Ino was always on her case to watch her figure. It looked like he'd bought out all the shops! She grinned at him.

Sasuke couldn't stop the heat that shaded his high cheekbones, but he was glad to see Sakura smile naturally. The false smile she kept trying to hide behind made him nervous. He'd rather see real tears than fake smiles—he didn't want her thinking she had to hide anything from him. He handed some bags to her while avoiding the knowing grin on Kakashi's masked face.

"Looks like you're in good hands, Sakura-chan." He patted the cat as he left the kitchen. "See ya later, Lucky."

"Please come by again soon, Sensei."

"I will, Sakura-chan, Sasuke-kun." He waved and disappeared.

0o0o0

Sakura and Sasuke packed the refrigerator to overflowing. She chopped vegetables while he mixed the eggs and sautéed them together with the rice.

"It's delicious, Sasuke-kun."

"Aa." He watched her eating and wondered if she'd stay when she found out how deplorable he'd acted when she left. But how could he make things better if she didn't know the truth first? He couldn't hide it forever, but he worried the burden would hurt her too much. But what if she found out some other way—would he ever be able to fix things if he continued to hide the truth?

They were just finishing their vegetable omurice—instead of ketchup on top, Sasuke had insisted on fresh tomatoes, but Sakura didn't mind—she was thoroughly enjoying his company, even if they weren't saying much. Just being close to him made her feel calmer. Together, they washed up and Sakura was wiping down the table when Sasuke took the cloth away from her and led her into the hall.

"Sasuke-kun?" she asked nervously. She didn't like how somber he suddenly looked.

"I have to tell you something." He tugged her toward his old room and she felt a sense of foreboding. Kakashi alluded to Sasuke's guilt earlier, but whatever he was guilty of, nothing came close to what she'd done—vowing to give his child away and agreeing to betray him with another man. She was afraid to tell Sasuke what she'd done—of how weak she'd been.

She pulled her hand out of his. "Can't this wait, Sasuke-kun? I wanted to clean up before we leave. We have that meeting with— "

Sasuke wanted to put it off forever, but he knew he couldn't. This guilt was an unbreachable wall between them that he had to tear down. He snagged Sakura's waist and pulled her firmly toward the ruined room. He had to tell her the awful things he'd done or he'd never be able to move forward with his plans. First, he had to come clean…and pray that she'd forgive him.

He opened the door.

Sakura gasped at the sight of what was once their bedroom. A slight breeze ruffled her hair. The wind came from the enormous hole that stood where most of wall used to be.

A chill laced down Sakura's spine—the bed was gone.

Sasuke took her hand. "I did this, Sakura." Unconsciously his hold tightened, crushing her hand.

"Sasuke, you don't—"

He put his other hand over her mouth. "No, Sakura. I do need to tell you. " Her enormous eyes, gazing at him sympathetically above his fingers made him feel worse. He didn't deserve her compassion. He looked away. "When Karin told me you'd left Konoha for good, I—"

Wetness touched his skin and he looked back to see tears streaming down her face. He pulled his hands away from her as if burned.

"Sasuke, I already know. Karin told me."

Sasuke eyes widened. 'Of course she did,' he thought derisively. 'How stupid could I be not to realize that—'

"She said you were so drunk that it was easy to trick you into believing you'd had sex with her." Her tear-blurred eyes registered the look of shock on his face. It was true then—he hadn't seen through Karin's trap.

"That was the first time I lost hope that you'd look for me. I was so…disappointed…" She seemed to wilt.

"Sakura…" The relief that he hadn't had sex with Karin mixed sickly in his gut with the knowledge of how much he hurt Sakura. She took a step back and he reached out to her.

"Stay…" His throat locked up. How selfish was he being to hope for her forgiveness? He didn't deserve it.

She looked up at him.

"…I wanted you to stay, Sakura. When you left I…there's no excuse for what I did."

She wanted to tell him that his actions paled compared to hers. In her eyes, Sasuke's betrayal was imaginary—hers was real. But when she looked up into his eyes the words stuck in her throat.

Sasuke clasped her face between his palms and wiped the tears from her face with his thumbs. He wanted to heal the breach between them—the hardest thing was that part of the healing came with reliving the pain.

"Gomen." He kissed her forehead and pulled her tightly into his embrace.

0o0o0

Things you probably already know:

Ohayo—short for ohayo goziamasu, or good morning

Achara-zuke=summer pickles

Saikyo-zuke=sweet miso-marinated fish

Chawan mushi=egg custard

Yokan-sweet bean jelly

An pan=sweet bean-paste buns