N: Yes, I am 'the worst' I know. Anyhow, here is another chapter that I hope you'll enjoy. We are approaching the end – another two chapters and an epilogue – I think. Not much to say about this chapter (beside the fact that it is not beta-ed and I apologise for any mistakes you might find) hope you'll leave me a review once you are done reading.

The woman in the mirror

By the time Elena arrived at the ranch her hair was a mess and her cheeks were burning red. She had been driving for hours with no destination in mind just to clear her head. Antonella's words were stubbornly echoing in her ears. When she finally decided to come home, she had only one purpose in mind: to find that folder and see with her own eyes if everything Damon's mother told her about Katherine was true. Deep down, Elena new that the elder woman had no reason to lie to her, after all, she was Katherine in her eyes and she would've know if Antonella lied, but Elena still felt the urge to get her hands on that file.

After making sure no one besides the cook was home, she made her way towards the office in the north wing of the house. The door was not locked so she just let herself in, closing the door behind her. The old fashion desk seemed to occupy all the space in the room and then some. It must've been the biggest desk Elena had ever seen. Without losing much time, she got down to her knees and taking a few hair-pins out of her pocket she started working on the lock. It didn't take Elena more than a few minutes to open the drawer. Inside she found two thick folders. One had Damon's name on the cover page and the other had Stefan's name. Resisting the temptation to pick inside Stefan's folder, Elena picked up the one with Damon's name on it. She took a seat on the floor, crossing her legs underneath her and started going through the folder page by page. After she was done going through most of it, she put it back in its place and ran to the nearest bathroom to empty her stomach.

Elena reached the doorknob with shaking hands. Once in the sanctuary of her own room, she locked the door and started crying. She cried for Katerina Petrova and her abusive past that turned her into a monster. She cried for Damon's mother, because after she had saved Anna and came to love her as her own daughter she couldn't imagine a more excruciating pain than the one caused by watching your own child suffer. She cried for Anna, the poor innocent soul that had to suffer her mother's tyranny. And she cried for Damon, because the woman he fell in love with many years ago never existed, because the woman he was starting to love now didn't exist either.

With shaky steps, she walked in front of the mirror and let her heavy body fall into the chair placed in front of it. Her hair was no longer smooth and straight because she drove for miles with all the windows of her car opened. The face staring back at her was the face of the woman she had come to hate now…not Katherine yet not Elena Gilbert, the woman reflecting in the mirror was an illusion, that woman did not exist. Many times Elena imagined herself finally coming clean to Damon, but no matter how much she had tried it never ended well. Damon never understood her reasons, and why would he? She was a liar an impostor, a fake. The man she loved more than anything in the world would never be able to look at her without a reminder of Katherine's lies and all the pain she had caused him, because it will always be her face that Damon will see. Damon Salvatore would never know the real face of Elena Gilbert…because Elena Gilbert no longer existed. She was losing herself behind the mask. Damon was probably going to hate her once he found out she had lied to him all this time. She was unable to have him in the beginning because of another woman's lies and once he discovered who she really was, she won't be able to have him because of her own lies.

Elena picked up a make-up remover tissue and started clearing up her face. With no make-up on, she looked a little different from Katherine. She had never, in any pictures, seen Katherine without the usual heavy make-up.

At the soft knock on the door, Elena jumped in her chair.

"Katherine! Are you okay? Why did you lock the door?" to Elena's relief it was Damon and not another surprise visitor. She took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly just to calm down her chaotic heartbeat. By the time she started removing her make-up she had stopped crying so there were no dry tears on her cheeks, although her eyes were red and puffy. When the second knock came, she was already at the door.

"Are you okay?" Damon asked again once she opened the door.

"Yeah, I was just about to change so I locked the door." Her eyes were hungrily traveling all over Damon's body. He was so beautiful; he could still take her breath away. "You're early," she commented.

"Not really. It's almost nine. When I came home, about half an hour ago, Pearl told me you went directly to your room this afternoon and didn't come out at all. I started to worry so I came looking for you."

Elena could feel the tears in her eyes, burning, threatening to escape the prison of her eyes. She loved this man so much and at the moment she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms. To tell him the whole truth, to tell him that she will love him enough for the both of them, tell him that she would be nothing without him. But she couldn't. Not yet. She was the only one able to protect him, the only one who knew about the killer. Over the months she got to know Damon, and she knew he wouldn't just accept everything just like that. It will take time for him to get used to the idea…and maybe he never will get used to it. Elena did not have time. There were only two weeks left until the elections and telling Damon the truth now will only complicate things. Once the elections were over and Damon was safe she will tell him.

"For God's sake, Katherine, you're shaking!" Damon almost shouted. He pushed the door open all the way and got inside, closing the door behind him. From two steps he was in front of her, his arms slid around her trembling body and then she cried again, her tears sliding into the V of his shirt.

"I am sorry," she mumbled between sobs. Every time she felt like she might stop crying, the thought of losing him would make her cry louder, to the point where she thought she might suffocate from so many emotions.

"What happened, Katherine?" he asked gently, petting her head, like a parent would do with his child. "I have never seen you like this. Did you have a nightmare?" he asked gently and Elena nodded. "Oh I am sorry. Look, we are supposed to fly tomorrow, but we can drive there, you and me."

"Don't be silly, it's a sixteen hour-drive."

"It doesn't matter, if you are not up to flying, we won't." 'Would it be possible to love this man more?' Elena asked herself.

"I'll be fine; I just need to get my mind off it."

"Well, I might know a way to get your mind off it," Damon whispered in her ear.