Chapter Thirty Five

Push the door, I'm home at last
and I'm soaking through and through
Then you hand me a towel
and all I see is you
And even if my house falls down,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me and
I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you
is having the best day of my life

~Thank You by Dido~

"Today is not a special day. It's not an anniversary or a birthday. I just knew that today was a good day to come and see you, Charlie. I woke up and I looked at Edward. He understood straight away and started to get dressed.

There aren't so many flowers on the grave today. I remembered to bring some… well, actually Edward reminded me, but I think I would have remembered on my own, although they would probably have been gas station ones again. It's a good job he's so organised, because my brain is all over the place these days. I've just finished my first year at university, it's happened so quickly. I did pretty well, actually. I'm looking forward to my second year. You'd be proud.

I'm trying to think of everything that's happened since the last time I came. There's a lot of it. I didn't have a whole lot of time to tell you about my life last time, I was just shocked to be here in the first place. But I can go through the big things. Edward and I are living together now. I mean, we pretty much were before, but my landlord decided to sell the building, so I needed a new place to live a couple of months ago. Edward invited me to move in with him. Alice moved in with Jasper, he's over the moon and she gets a whole new apartment to decorate, so everyone's happy. She's just started an apprenticeship at an interior design company and is ready to decorate the world. She'll probably succeed as well. Oh, and Jacob moved in with Seth and Leah. Seth's working at his garage now, he practically worships Jake. It's pretty funny and it drives Leah crazy, but she loves them both, in her own weird, bitchy way. We still see each other at work and I catch up with Jake from time to time for a beer. We're good friends now, which I wasn't sure would happen. It's nice to be proved wrong though.

What else? Uh… oh, Rosalie and Emmett. They had a baby, a little girl called Jasmine. I think it's a little bit of homage to Jasper, since we ended up calling them both Jazz. He's the proudest uncle in the world, can't get enough of her. Carlisle and Esme are amazing grandparents too, they seem to be spending more and more time in the city with us. I like having them around, they like spoiling us like kids, which is nice… it's nice to be counted as one of the family. So they're around a lot, we have dinner a few times a month. Especially now that Alice and Jasper are engaged. Did I mention that? I don't think I did, but yeah, they're engaged. They don't plan on getting married for a couple of years, but Jasper has already asked me to be his Best Man. Or Best Woman, whatever's politically correct. Alice couldn't be happier about getting another opportunity to dress me up. I actually did buy her a Barbie doll for Christmas this year; everyone else thought it was hilarious. Alice told me that I owed her three shopping trips without complaints, so that rather backfired on me.

Edward started a haematology placement. He doesn't talk about it much, it's hard work and it tires him out, but Carlisle told me that the hospital wants to keep him on after his residency. That would be good for him, although he's hoping to start doing regular hours, no more long night shifts. Maybe in time that'll happen, but I don't think he'd want to be stuck in an office all the time, he enjoys being with the patients, even though it keeps him out for longer hours. For now, it's not such a big deal. We're both so busy, we make the time we spend together worth every second.

I miss you.

…Sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt that out. Nervous word vomit. Jesus, I can't believe I just said word vomit over my father's grave. Twice. And Jesus. Twice as well. Good going, Bella.

Geez, you know I don't mean to be crass. I can't remember if my language was this bad when I lived with you. I don't think that I can have been, you wouldn't have let me get away with it. I mean… you wouldn't even let me play my music too loud, in case it disturbed the peace. Not that I minded that much, you were pretty laid back for a cop dad. I probably got away with a lot more than other teenagers, but you had a blind spot for me. You always did.

But I do miss you, Dad. It's a little easier these days, now that I've got Jasper and the Cullens. They keep me going, whereas in the beginning it was just fear that kept me from coming to a full stop. I guess that people aren't really able to live like that. Well, I didn't, did I? Until Jasper rescued me, I was just pretending to live. I can't say how grateful I am for him. You'd have liked Jasper, I know you would. But then again, everyone likes Jasper.

I'm pretty damn lucky, aren't I? To have them all. To have a family like them. To have Edward. I know that, sometimes, he looks at the rings around my neck and wishes that they were on my finger. But he never says it, because he knows that I couldn't love him any more than I already do. It isn't easy, knowing that he still wants marriage from time to time, but the fact that he still wants me, even after I said no, makes me love him. I know what I did was selfish, but… I was scared. I still am. I'm still scared that he's going to decide that I'm not enough. But we've come to some decisions, grown-up ones. Like getting wills made, joint insurance, that sort of thing. We even met with his lawyer to organise our legal mumbo jumbo, we're completely sorted out. It's kind of scary, to be this responsible, but I like it. I like being equal to him in these things, so we can be together for the right reasons. And this is a secret, but I'm legally changing my name. It's Edward's birthday next month and I'm going to tell him then. I'm going to be Isabella Swan-Cullen. I asked Carlisle and Esme first and they were so happy. I think Edward will be as well. I want him to know that I'm his. Completely.

Is that what real love is? Plain old acceptance of another person, utterly and completely. Not very romantic-sounding, is it? Then again, I leave the romance to Alice and Rosalie. On the other hand, there probably isn't anything more romantic than one person saying, 'I want you, in spite of your flaws', 'I want you without cutting out any of the bad stuff'. When I wake up each morning and see him there, it reminds me of the stories I used to read, fairy tales where they got married and lived happily ever after.

Obviously you know my thoughts on the marriage. And happily ever after seems a little intimidating. I mean, I'm hoping for it, but at the same time it's a little too much to handle at once. I'm all for taking one day at a time, planning for next week, next year at the outside. Forever is a long time. Who can be sure about forever?"

A hand touched my shoulder and I looked up quickly, jumping as I was surprised out of my one-sided conversation. Edward smiled down at me, where I sat cross-legged in the warm grass. The day, whilst not sunny, was still bright and warm through the cloud cover so he wore only a light jacket over his t-shirt and jeans.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked, the wind whipping his bright auburn hair into a more dishevelled state than usual. I looked back at the grassy grave.

"A couple more minutes. I'm almost done."

"Take all the time you need, love." He assured me, bending to kiss my forehead before loping over the grass to the car park, where Jasper and Alice were leant against the Volvo, talking quietly. I watched them for a minute before turning back to the grave.

"They insisted on coming with us. Jasper said he wanted to meet you and Alice goes where Jasper goes. He said he wanted to reassure you that I'm being taken care of and Alice said that she wanted to reassure you of Jasper's character, since parents always love her."

I laughed to myself, pushing my windswept hair out of my face. It was tangled and I pulled it back, tucking it into my hood as I spoke.

"You'd adore her. Everyone does, she's a wonderful friend." I said quietly, leaning back in the grass and stretching my aching legs. The blood rushed back into my feet and I winced as they began to prickle uncomfortably. I looked back over my shoulder at the three people I loved more than anyone else in the world and smiled slightly.

"And Edward. You'd like Edward, because he's completely good. He's the best person I know. Don't get me wrong, he's not perfect. He always reading my books and then not putting them back in the same place on the shelf. When he washes up, he doesn't rinse the dishes so they always get watermarks. He snores sometimes, if he's lying in the wrong position and then gets grouchy when I kick him to make him stop. We argue sometimes, about really stupid stuff, like whether Mr Darcy is cooler than Mr Rochester and then glare at each other for half an hour before deciding that it's a silly thing to fight about. I know, we're pretty lame, right? But then again we do have real arguments too. Mostly about money, annoying crap like that. Edward is always trying to pay for everything. Since he actually owns the apartment and doesn't rent it, he figured I shouldn't pay anything. Of course, I went off on him. We had a huge fight and I stormed out. Jasper eventually found me getting absolutely plastered in some bar and dragged me back to apologise. It's a good thing he's around to kick my ass when I need it. We worked it out, obviously. I pay for the groceries and he pays the utilities, plus we each buy our own things like clothes and books. I think Edward's working on getting us a joint account, so he can sneak money to me. Like that's going to happen.

Anyway, I'm going to say goodbye now. Jasper's hungry, he's getting that frown that means he wants a burger. I'm hungry too, actually. I don't know when I'll be back. Maybe not for a while. You don't mind if I don't come on your birthday, do you? It's just that it's a lot of pressure, with everyone watching. I'd rather come on a day like today, when there's no one else around and I can talk to you freely. It's harder to come on a special day, a lot more emotional. We can talk properly on days like today."

I got to my feet, brushing stray blades of grass from my jeans and looking down at the grave once more, feeling Edward's eyes on me from the short distance away. We exchanged a long look and he held up a hand briefly, signalling to take my time. The gold band on his finger shone dully. I smiled again, placing my hand on the cool, smooth stone.

"You know… maybe forever would be a good thing to aim for, after all." I said quietly. "It might even not be long enough. Love you, Dad."

I ran my hand gently over the headstone and turned, picking my way slowly across the grass to the car park. Jasper moved first, holding out his arms. I stepped into them, embracing him tightly.

"You OK, Hells Bells?" He asked, rubbing my hair.

"Sure am, Jazz. You want a burger?"

"You know me so well." He chuckled. Alice moved towards me and kissed my cheek, cuddling me before slipping into the back seat of the car beside her fiancé.

Edward's fingers slipped into mine and I turned to look up at him. He smiled faintly, kissing my forehead, the tip of my nose before finally pressing his mouth to mine. I slid the fingers of my free hand into the hair at the nape of his neck as we kissed, lips moving together gently, sweetly as he held me in that way, so unique to him, that made me feel like I was the only person in the world.

It wasn't happily ever after. But it wasn't far off.

The End

A/N: Oh… my… gosh. It's over. Wow.

OK, before I go any further, I am thanking each and every person who has reviewed, whether it was from chapter one or if you only found this story yesterday. I am unbelievably grateful for your feedback, your support, your constructive criticism and the fact that you've taken a little time out of your day to read my ramblings. I really cannot adequately express my appreciation.

And regarding the epilogue! This is the end of Bella's journey. She's not all better, she's not magically fixed. She's a real life girl who went through some shit and is getting better. And she's got a hot doctor to help her!

Thank You – Bella's words to everyone in this story. To Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Jacob, Alice, Jasper and, most of all, Edward. Listen to this song and you'll get it.

I know this is a short chapter, but the first of the outtakes will be up tomorrow, after this chapter. As I have said before, there are 5. The first is Edward's pov of his initial meeting with Bella in the bar. I hope you will enjoy it!

OK, I think this has gone on long enough. I'm rambling, yet again. Are you surprised, lol? So I'm going to go.

Once again, thank you. Much love and cookies to you all. Oh, and since I won't be around to make recommendations, haul ass over to The Twilight Enablers. That's where I get my fics from! But one last recommendation is:

A Person of Worth by tnuccio.

Final Chapter Reviewers will get their chosen Cullen/Werewolf, a bottle of booze and me in a room to chat randomly into the night. I will also make myself scarce once you fancy getting it on with your chosen Cullen/Werewolf.

Lots of Love

Katie