Warrior's Couple's Counseling

by Brighteyes of Thunderclan

After many moons of rehab, Mapleshade has decided to help others instead of killing them and ruining the lives of their kin. Hence, WCC co. She and everyone's favorite anger management therapist, Silverstream, set out to solve the Clan's problems. (Hmm) Amidst multiple issues (their's and other's), will they succeed or go out of business? Enjoy and don't mess with Mapleshade! :D

37. Episode 27

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Wow! lots of you knew that one! Holiday Special Episode up next...and if you're a Promise fan, a new chapter was just posted and there's a poll for what Holiday gift you want on my profile!

"Ravenpaw, make me some tea. Pronto dente, I don't have all day!" Mapleshade snaps to the small black tom. He nods and scuttles frantically away into the kitchen. Hawkfrost closes the door behind him and rolls his eyes.

"Honestly, how much wimpier can you get? And naïve! I convinced him socks were cool!" He laughs.

"You're wearing socks," Mapleshade points out bluntly.

"Yeah, so?" Hawkfrost frowns, "It's called tile sliding. Get with it."

"Whatever," The tortie grumbles, adjusting her spectacles and turning to the couple seated on the new green loveseat. Willowbreeze is smiling at the exchange.

"You two are so sweet!" she purrs. Crookedstar scowls.

"Cute? More like evil, vile, life-wreckers!" He snarls.

"HAHAHAHA he's right, you know." Mapleshade grins, "so, what brings you here today?"

"Well, Crookedstar won't stop talking about you!" Willowbreeze exclaims.

"How flattering," Mapleshade cackles.

"I thought coming to see you, and talking things over a bit would help him. His babbling is driving me insane!" Willowbreeze sighs.

"I'm touched that you think of me so often Crookedstar. It shows I made a true impact on your life." She smiles evilly. Hawkfrost laughs awkwardly.

"I-uh-I'll be…outside…" He says, shuffling out the door and slamming it quickly behind him.

"His loss," Mapleshade shrugs, settling back into her chair, "So what do you say about me, hmm? Is it that I saved you from drowning? Is it that I made you the best warrior you could be? Is it that I convinced you to come back to the Clans, that I set you up to become leader?" She lists her accomplishments while counting off on her paws, voice singsong and carefree.

"No!" Crookedstar snarls, "It's that you made my life miserable, you destroyed me, you created a killer, a puppet! You killed my mother, my father, my daughters and mate! You destroyed my brother, and my life!" Crookedstar screams, "And then you plot to overthrow the Clans with the Dark Forest!"

"Oh, yes, I forgot about those…" She laughs. Willowbreeze stares at Mapleshade.

"You killed me?" She whispers.

"You never believed me!" Crookedstar exclaims to his astonished mate.

"Oh, I might've taken pleasure in getting you kidnapped, giving you an incurable illness, and killing off all three of your daughters…" Mapleshade muses, "But you had your happily ever after."

"We suffered for your stupid mistakes!" Crookedstar screams.

"My stupid mistakes?" Mapleshade whispers, her pelt eerily smooth and her eyes shards of amber lit ice. Her voice was cold as her heart.

"Yes!" Crookedstar snarls, "If it weren't for your mistakes, my children wouldn't have died! My mate would have stayed by my side and my parents would have lived to see moons in the elders den!"

"My mistakes." Mapleshade repeats, her gaze boring into the tabby leader. He watches her defiantly.

"Your mistakes!" He hisses. Mapleshade bares her fangs and leaps onto the former leader.

"IT WAS YOUR GREAT GREAT GRANDFATHER'S FAULT! ALL OF IT!" She screams, sinking her claws into his shoulders. The tabby writhes in pain and flips over onto the ground.

"Get off, you insane she-cat!" He growls, slicing her shoulders. Willowbreeze sits, still and silent, on the loveseat.

"You killed me, Mapleshade?" She asks softly.

"Yes! I did!" Mapleshade snarls, "My mate was as good as dead to me, and Crookedstar deserved the same fate! He should never have been born!"

"I love him," Willowbreeze mews simply, "And I now see he was right all along. You are a terrible cat, Mapleshade." She glowers at the tortie. Mapleshade, blood spraying from her tattered pelt, sinks her fangs into his scruff, shaking his viciously. She pays the pretty silver tabby no mind. Crookedstar retaliates brutally, pummeling her stomach with furious paws.

Outside the door, Ravenpaw is scurrying back to the counseling room, a cup of tea on a saucer, complete with three sugar free cookies. Lemon shortbread, Mapleshade's favorite. Hawkfrost is standing guard outside the room, playing Trivia Cat on his phone.

"Damn! I'm no good at these sports questions! Where are those entertainment ones?" He gripes, "I have no luck with spinning this stupid wheel."

"Mr. Hawkfrost? Tea and cookies for Mapleshade." Ravenpaw mews, looking up at the dark warrior. He looks up from his game, ice blue eyes narrow and irritated.

"Now Cindy's beating me! Oh, you might not want to go in there…it's World War 3." He mumbles, turning back to his game. Ravenpaw nods and begins to walk away, but Hawkfrost sniffs the air.

"Wait a second…Gimme that tea." He mews, snatching the saucer from the secretary. Shoving all three shortbreads into his mouth, the tom inspected the tag on the tea bag. Grinning evilly, he nodded.

"Actually, bring this in. It will help her calm down." He said, handing the saucer back to Ravenpaw.

"Should I fetch more cookies, sir?" The farm cat asks.

"Nah, she'll be fine. Just bring her the tea." Hawkfrost says with a dismissive wave of his paw. Ravenpaw hurries into the counseling room, and Hawkfrost closes the door behind him, contemplating locking it, but deciding he wasn't quite that cruel.

"Mapleshade? Your tea." Ravenpaw mews, passing the tortie her dainty china teacup as she sits on the stomach of a nearly unconscious Crookedstar.

"Thanks," she mutters, licking a spot of blood off her receiving paw and taking the teacup. She drains it in one giant gulp, not bothering to check the brand. With a cough and a splutter, the greenish brown liquid spews from her muzzle and into the air, where Ravenpaw frantically tries to save the new white carpet by throwing himself into the wave. Instead, he falls to the ground and the tea splashes on top of him, creating a Ravenpaw shaped white patch framed with brown stains. He moans upon impact.

"LIPTON!" Mapleshade howls, hurling the teacup at Willowbreeze's head, who ducks, and it smashes against the pale purple wall, the remnants clattering to the ground in a cacophony of breaking china. "I HATE LIPTON! DEATH TO WHOEVER INVENTED LIPTON! DEATH TO REAVENPAW FOR BRINGING ME LIPTON! I WILL DESTROY YOUR LIVES THROUGH TREACHEROUS CUNNING AND CRUEL DECEIT! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-cough splutter cough-CURSE YOU LIPTOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!"

"WHO THE BLOODY HELL GAVE HER LIPTON?!" Crookedstar screams from beneath the wailing warrior.

"Me," Ravenpaw squeaks from the corner, behind the lamp shaped like Mapleshade and Jayfeather (custom made, of course).

"YOU EFFING IDIOT!" Crookedstar screeches as Mapleshade lifts him up over her head; seeming thinking she's become the hulk. Her face did look a little greenish after spewing the Lipton.

"MAPLESHADE SMASH!" She growls, hurling the old tabby tom into the window. He crashes through, sailing over the streets of New York City. Willowbreeze dashes to the window, sticking her head out the gaping, shattered hole.

"Crooked-love!" She wails, watching her mate of many moons fly high over the taxis and startled pedestrians. She cringes when he falls into a street cart full of watermelons.

"Not the watermelons!" Ravenpaw whimpers.

"Watermelons?! My mate just flew through a window into a cart of big, hard fruits!" Willowbreeze cries.

"Oh," Ravenpaw frowns.

"DIE, BRINGER OF LIPTON, DESTROYER OF TASTEBUDS, AKA SATAN!" Mapleshade yowls, launching herself at Ravenpaw. The black tom dives out of the way just in time, and the tortie crashes face-first into the lamp shaped like her and her fiancé.

"NOOOO YOU MADE ME RUIN MY JAYBAE! YOU MUST SUFFER THE MOST TORTUOUS, PAINFUL DEATH IMAGINABLE!" Mapleshade squawks, snatching up Ravenpaw by the tail and digging her claws into his flanks. The unskilled barn cat wails in pain and struggles in her grasp. Willowbreeze quickly leaps aside, fearful of being attacked.

"Help! Hawkfrost! Willowbreeze! Somebody, help me!" He cries.

"YOU SHALL DIE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-hack hack snort-AHHHHHH LIPTON!" Mapleshade howls, drooping Ravenpaw. The bloodied black tom hurries toward the counseling door, but gets a face full of it when the oaken slab swings open with great force. Hawkfrost bursts into the counseling room, taking in the hysteric Willowbreeze being held upside-down and being shaken by the insane Mapleshade, the ambulance sirens coming from the street, and the unconscious Ravenpaw lying beside the door.

"Great Starclan!" He cries, dashing toward Mapleshade and completely ignoring the passed out secretary. "Mapleshade! Put her down!"

"MAPLESHADE SMASH! SMASH THE LIFE OUT OF HER AGAIN! STUPID MATE OF CROOKEDSTAR, MATE OF MY ENEMY!" She screams, prepping to hurl Willowbreeze out the window as well. Hawkfrost frantically types a number into his phone before lunging to tackle Mapleshade. The tortie falls to the stained white carpet, chest heaving as she tries to keep her devilish grip on Willowbreeze while simultaneously wrestling with her assistant.

"Hello?" A grumpy male voice sounds from speakerphone, the silver iPhone lying prone on the ground.

"Jayfeather!" Hawkfrost shouts.

"Hawkfrost? What are you calling me for?" He grumbles.

"JAYBAE GET THIS SCUMBAG OFF OF ME!" Mapleshade yowls with pain as Hawkfrost secures his claws in her shoulders.

"Ah. I see. Who gave her Lipton? Or was it the coffee? Don't tell me it was pumpkin spice…" The gray tom sighs over the phone.

"The new secretary! Help! She's already thrown Crookedstar out the window, bloodied Ravenpaw, and Willowbreeze is being strangled!" Hawkfrost cough as Mapleshade kicks him in the gut.

"I'll be right over. Where's Silverstream?" Jayfeather asks.

"I have no idea…" Hawkfrost growls, smacking Mapleshade's forepaw away from Willowbreeze's face while trying to pry the silver Riverclan warrior out of the tortie's grasp.

"Okay, okay. I'll call her once I get in the cab. See you in five." Jayfeather grunts, hanging up.

"JAYBAEEEEE HEEEELLLLLPPP MEEEEEEEEEE!" Mapleshade wails.

"Aw, shut up!" Hawkfrost snaps.

"My head…" Ravenpaw mumbles, reawakening only to receive a swift kick in the face from Mapleshade's flailing hind paws.

"Wheeze! -Hack cough wheeze-" Willowbreeze pants, struggling to get out of the headlock hold slowly squeezing her throat.

"Mapleshade, chill!" Hawkfrost snarls.

"DIEEEEEE!" The tortie screams, slapping him across the face with a fish that had randomly appeared out of thin air.

"Ppppbbbttt! Ew! I hate sardines!" Hawkfrost screeches, wiping off his face with Willowbreeze's tail. The she-cat had pried herself out of Mapleshade's Fort Knox headlock and was crawling to the door.

"MWAHAHAHAHA! SARDINES!" Mapleshade cackles, whacking him again.

"Ew stop it! They're slimy!" Hawkfrost whines.

"WUSSY!" Mapleshade yowls with delight.

"I'm here!" Jayfeather shouts, running through the door, but accidentally running to far. He trips over the struggling Willowbreeze and soars through the air and out the shattered window, falling to the street.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The grumpy gray tom wails, falling through the air.

"Come on!" Hawkfrost groans.

"I'm here! Silverstream calls, dashing through the doorway. She, too, trips over her mother, but instead of soaring through the window, the tabby crashes into Hawkfrost and knocks him off of Mapleshade. The tortie rises and crows triumphantly:

"I'M FREE! I'M FREE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! NO COUGHIN-cough cough wheeze-DAMN IT!" She curses.

"Get off of me!" Hawkfrost grunts.

"Get your tail out of my face!"

"Get your face out of my tail!"

"Owwww my leg!"

"Stop tugging at my ear!"

Mapleshade, taking advantage of the compromising situation her colleagues are in, snatches up Willowbreeze and Ravenpaw and dashes out of the counseling room, down the hall, through the lobby, and into the bustling streets of NYC.

"No! She' getting away!" Silverstream cries.

"I've got it!" Hawkfrost announces, leaping up and heading toward the door. His two hind paws, knotted up with Silverstream's tail, cause him to go tumbling to the floor. The pair lie there, panting.

"So, who's fault was this?" Silverstream sighs from her place on the carpet.

"Mine. And Mapleshade's. But mostly Ravenpaw's." Hawkfrost mumbles.

"Of course…Now-" Silverstream mews, only to have her phone ring. Picking it up, Hawkfrost shakes his head.

"Who is it?" Silverstream asks.

"Dustpelt from Animal control and Firestar from the police force. Also, Berrynose texted. He seems to know the scoop before even Mapleshade knows what she's doing." Hawkfrost.

"Great Starclan…" Silverstream groans, "Here we go…again."

"Oh, and by the way…your dad's in the hospital getting watermelons surgically removed from his-"

"WHAT?!"

Hope you enjoyed... :)

QOTD: What was the funniest part?

Squirrel: An infamous red pelted leader and his black furred mate are next on the new loveseat...ironically named...they're the parents of three, yet only one was able to follow in his father's pawsteps and become leader. Who are they?

It's christmas eve! WHOOHOO! and I'm on BREAK! Won't be here for a while, I'm going to Puerto Rico to chill on some beaches YEAH so hope this episode and the Holiday special meet your tastes ;)

~Bright~