Author's Notes: Okay before I go thanking my wonderful reviewers (since there was like 15-ish reviews in two days I felt I just had to update!), I want to make something clear: There is no Tiva fic here without Ziva or Tony living, unless it's the end of the fic and we're far from that. So know I won't kill Ziva or Tony off anytime soon...coma, mortal danger, inability to certain things but death not so much. With that said, thanks to: mia58 (Eva is thinking as a mother with good reason. And Winston knows a lot of things about Ziva, but can't say how just yet), nepeace (Thanks, enjoy the gift!), evincis (Thanks!), beaker's hoover girl (Thanks), shiloh'scrimsonskye (Always love new readers and, thanks!), ncisislikecupcakes (Nope, Ziva's hanging in there at the moment), klynn07 (Thanks and welcome), Delko'sgirl88 (thanks for your reviews! And just to varify...Ziva wasn NOT shot, merely hit quite hard on the skull..."blunt force trauma" Ducky would call it. Yes Eva is conflicted involving Ziva now as she saw how Ziva would do anything to save her little boy as Eva did for her little girl), cyn23 (thanks, yeah), aldean10 (Haha, we all have evil in us!), shella-belle (Yup, Eva does have a heart...who thought it was possible? Lol) and sbteja (Glad you hear this fic is your fave! :p, and yes there are more questions but the readers are soon gonna get some big ones over the next few chapters but not to fear...they're involved in an interesting turn of events soon. Bad-ish but otherwise still interesting).
And huge thanks to: Ginnypotterthe7th (Hah, no Ziva has not been killed off! And she wasn't shot, just attacked. Eva and Spencer are indeed on no side at the moment. Simon is not involved in the kidnapping, he is dead although you do raise a good point...Ziva never sought proof he died merely believed her contact. Thanks!), Areethashinozzo (Yes, Winston hired the group including Eva and Spencer to conduct the kidnapping. They hate him, but Eva is not starting to like Ziva at all, merely respect her. She did not want to shoot Winston, she prefers other methods, she also did not want to save anyone but well...that is part of her conflict at the moment as she did save someone at least. No bullets were involved here, Ziva stopped the man from smashing the gun into the boy's skull but in turn took damage to save him. Winston isn't Israeli, no...but he is linked and has Arabic background along with Iranian contacts. Winston doesn't want to get back at Ziva...his boss does. Eva took the job to get her revenge, but neither Eli nor Ziva killed her daughter. :) and Immirose (Yes. Eva and Spencer know why they were hired, not in detail but enough. Eva had simular interests in which was why she took the job and then requested Spencer to join her. Winston doesn't have a death wish, he merely believes he is invincable, pfth...not likely, if Ziva makes a full recovery he is indeed as good as dead. Yes Nathan knows things Ziva didn't want him to know yet or at all...this will impact the story and the boy a lot soon enough. Number 1 boss will be revealed in due time, and when he is things will suddenly fall into place with the kidnapping plot and finally everyone will understand the small clues I tossed around throughout the fic. Eva is showing her softer side more now, which did influence her decision to help Ziva. Although she doesn't mind harming Ziva she doesn't want her to suffer internally/emotionally...more on that later).
Anyway, hope y'all enjoy as it's a bit longer and more emotional. One of the chapter's I'm more proud of and I'm sure a fair few of you will enjoy...especially since there is something big revealed involving Spencer's connection to Eva. please review and let me know whatcha think!
Chapter thirty-seven: Cold nights and warm mornings
Nathan watched, unable to move as the man in front of him held up what at first glance seemed to be just an object but sort of looked like a gun. He couldn't make himself run or even yell as fear took its hold on him. All his years during his kidnap he had been brave, he had always been able to run if he had the chance but now he could not. He didn't know why but he just sat there as the man lowered his weapon to strike him.
But then it happened. His mother's hands grabbed him and while he felt stronger hands catch him, hands he knew were his father's...he could not tear his eyes from the sight of the object coming down hard against the side of his mother's head and then her shoulder. Her shirt was light, it tore slightly and he saw blood. The horrible red liquid fell faster than she did to the ground and Nathan felt as though his oxygen had been cut short.
'Stay strong' he heard a voice speak to him and realized it wasn't Tony that had him anymore but Agent Gibbs. His father rushed to Ziva's side while FBI and NCIS alike poured into the building but Nathan was at loss to it all, his pain and the sight before him broke his emotions and stability so hard he sobbed without caring who saw or what would happen to him...Nathan just cried as he truly believed he had lost his mother.
'Ziva!' he had heard Tony yell as he tried to hold her and although Nathan could not see through the blurr of his tears, he too tried to run to his mother. Gibbs held him firmly, telling him to stay and that help was on its way. Nathan didn't feel any hope, as his mother lay still and there was blood involved.
'We need a bus!' Jenny was yelling but Nathan felt it was just a sound, just something around him he felt held no importance as he sobbed and covered his eyes with his hands. 'Call and ambulance!!' Jenny yelled again but the noise was blocked out as Gibbs' strong but comforting arms wrapped around Nathan and he rocked softly so the boy could just cry...
--
But it was too much for Nathan to truly relive a second time as he jerked awake only to find himself curled up on Tony's lap and they appeared to be in the back of a car. While it was dark out, Nathan still recognised some familiar places and knew they were heading to NCIS.
Nathan just lay where he was and didn't move, still feeling very numb as to what had happened an hour ago. He then tuned into what Tony was saying and knew it hadn't been just a nightmare. Tony was arguing to Gibbs who was driving but not at his usual speed for the sake of the child, and McGee was in the seat beside him remaining quiet and distant, deciding to stay out of the argument at hand. Tony complained about not being allowed to go with Ziva, but GIbbs just announced that they can soon and how Jenny was with her.
'Well that's not good enough!' Tony replied, clearly furious but heard a soft sniffle and noticed that Nathan was awake. 'Hey, how are you holding up?' he asked, his tone going softer in an instant as his full attention fell to the boy that was now sitting up beside him, clutching to him for comfort.
'Daddy!' Nathan said and hugged Tony, feeling his arms wrap around him as he too held the boy close and it provided them both with momentary reassurance. 'I want my mama' he pleaded and Tony's heart broke further at that as the boy was so upset but the one thing he wanted most Tony was unable to give him and was also at a loss for words. 'Daddy please...I want mama!'
--
They soon arrived at NCIS and Tony picked the boy up, not letting him go for even a second. Ducky fixed them up but Tony only had a few cuts that he didn't care even the slightest about and Nathan seemed to have zoned out again while still clutching a part of Tony's shirt with all his might.
Gibbs stood nearby and spoke to Jenny as she reported in on Ziva's condition. The moment he hung up he found two pairs of pained eyes staring at him and he could not deny them the information they feared but wanted to know.
'Ziva is resting. She is still out cold but nothing life-threatening' GIbbs repeated exactly what Jenny said, leaving out the "or so it would seem for now" part.
'Ah!' Nathan gasped as the piece of Tony's shirt he'd been gripping was taken from his grasp and Tony walked away, approaching GIbbs as he was clearly not satisfied with the information he'd been given. Ducky placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder but the boy was starting to hyperventlate slightly to the suddenn absence of his father's comfort when he needed it most.
'Hey' Gibbs hissed angrily and grabbed Tony, making sure his voice didn't travel to Nathan as he growled at his agent. 'Whether you have chosen it or not...you are the father of a young child!' he scowled and Tony seemed to have snapped into his senses and turned to stare at the poor boy sitting atop the autopsy table who was now pale and starting to panic.
Tony mentally kicked himself and damned himself to further hell as his emotions for Ziva had covered over the fact he still had Nathan...no...his son, to take care of. It took everything he had to put on a bright face and pick Nathan up, allowed the boy to cling to him again.
'I'm sorry' he whispered and held Nathan close, now fearing of losing the boy or of causing him more mental harm. He was never a romantic one and he was never one to hug or kiss anyone apart from a lover, but Tony just lost himself to the fact that the boy in his arms was his son, that the boy was hurting like he was hurting, but Nathan was a child...he didn't know how to cope with sudden horrible things and for that he needed a parent. For that he needed...Tony.
'It's okay' Tony said and kissed the boy's forehead softly, not even caring if he was being watched or if it felt weird, being something he had never done before but this was his first time as a father...he had never kissed a child before but only because he'd never previously had a child he loved that much.
Nathan felt the kiss to his forehead though and he let go of Tony's shirt to wrap his arms around his neck and buried his face in his father's shirt, feeling a bit better and as though maybe things will be okay.
Tony felt the movement and the boy relaxed so he took a calming breath and turned to his boss. 'I understand' he said and sighed. 'We'll go home and visit Ziva in the morning'.
Gibbs nodded, still taking notes while holding his cell phone between his cheek and shoulder, having not witnessed the moment between the now father and son...but Ducky had seen it all and it still shocked him.
'I don't wanna go home' Nathan's voice had broken again but he didn't move from his position or grip. 'I want mama'.
'I know, but she's resting now' Tony said. 'Remember that movie where the superhero had to rest to get his strength back and-'
'This is not a movie!' Nathan said loudly. 'Mama is hurt! She's really hurt, daddy!' he sobbed.
'I know' Tony said again, not sure what he could say so he just got into the elevator as he knew that being a parent meant sometimes you had to take control, sometimes even if the child does not like it...in the end you have to do what it right for that child. Tony wanted to tear into the hospital and see Ziva, but Nathan needed comfort, food, rest...and that had to come first.
'Anthony has really changed, Jethro' Ducky said. 'He's a whole new man...a better man'.
'He's still DiNozzo' Gibbs replied as he hung up his phone, forcing himself to focus on the kidnappers. 'And we need those ID's Duck'.
The house had never felt so cold or empty as Tony carried Nathan inside. He placed the boy on one hip so he could turn on lights and close curtains to block out the darkness. After that he hit full parent-mode and knew that the only way to remain sane and to stop thinking of the worst for Ziva was to take care of Nathan, to make the boy his most important priority.
'Um, is pizza okay?' Tony asked as he put Nathan down and the boy grabbed a part of his shirt again, nodding slightly. 'Okay, could you get the menu from the bottom drawer, please?' Tony wanted to occupy him as well but Nathan did not let him go. 'Don't worry tough guy, I'm not going anywhere without you'.
Nathan stared up at him and saw the truth in his eyes so nodded and went to get the menu.
'Pick any pizza you want' Tony called out as he headed into the living room but tried not to take notice of how Ziva's scent and evidence was around while she was not. He crouched in front of the TV and pulled open the cupboard doors under it to reveal an increasing range of children's movies that were ordered by title.
'Happy movie...no injuries...' he searched and wasn't sure but wanted something more unrealistic and cartoonic. He knew Harry Potter had lost his parents to a murderer, Wendy in Peter Pan had been held captive and the boys were orphans, Dumbo had been taken from his mother to work in a circus...why were children's movies so depressing?! Tony took another calming breath as Nathan came into the room and sat on the couch behind him to pick a pizza, no doubt trying to remain as close to his father as he could.
'Mary Poppins' Tony sighed in relief as he chose a movie that was more focused on the father, singing songs and with magic. 'It'll do' he told himself and turned to Nathan to see the boy holding up the menu and pointed to a particular pizza. Tony swallowed what felt like liquid lead and nodded, knowing Nathan had chosen Ziva's favourite pizza, but after putting the movie on he went to order it nonetheless.
--
Both did not feel much like eating so only half of the pizza was consumed by halfway through the movie although neither were really paying any attention to the plot, characters or lines. Soon Tony felt it was time to head off to bed as it would be a while before either of them could sleep so they may as well get a head start. He took Nathan up for a bath and made sure not to rush it as Ziva always made sure her son was perfectly clean. Nathan still only mumbled "thanks" occassionally but Tony wasn't up for a conversation either and only said what he had to.
'You can sleep beside me, if you like' Tony told him, making sure he was the one to bring it up as he knew Nathan would feel a little unsure but would end up in the bed anyway. Tony considered it cruel if he were to make Nathan sleep in his own bed this particular night anyway.
--
The pair climbed into bed and Ziva's scent was still there even if the sheets had only been used the night before they left for Israel.
'Is mommy really going to be okay, daddy?' Nathan's voice broke out the silence after several minutes of laying cuddled up in the bed and staring at the dull ceiling above.
'She will' Tony said, but it was more of a prayer than a promise. 'Because no one beats her that easily' he said and ran a hand over Nathan's head in comfort. 'Now go to sleep kiddo, we need our strength for tomorrow'.
'Okay' Nathan said and relaxed against the pillow more while holding Toby bear closer to his chest. 'I love you, daddy'.
'I love you too, sport' Tony said, trying not to let his words get caught as he was barely keeping it together as it was and just wanted Nathan to fall asleep. 'And don't worry about your mom...she'll be fine' he said, once again praying to anything and anyone that he wasn't lying.
--
However, many miles away and residing in a motel room...Spike was furious.
'Why did you shoot one of the men?' Spike asked Eve as she just sat on their bed rolling her eyes at him but then lowered her gaze to stare at the floor. 'Why didn't you kill Ziva like you wanted to?' he couldn't understand the logic in her choices and she wasn't telling him but then a thought occured to him and he calmed down. 'Why did I tip off NCIS?'
'I miss our baby girl' Eva told him but looked up and regained herself for a moment. 'Is there any news on Ziva yet?'
'I don't know' he said and looked around in frustration but then set his eyes on her. 'But stop dwelling on Marcia' Spencer added. 'She was three and it was over six years ago'.
But his words made Eva mad and she jumped to her feet, glaring at him in an almost hurt but mostly angry expression.
'Do you even care about your own daughter?' she asked.
'You know I do!' Spencer yelled back angrily. 'But now is not the time! In case you haven't noticed, we're on the run...our cover may have been blown...and on top of that we have four more missions to carry out'.
Eva seemed shocked for a moment but calmed herself and nodded. 'You're right' she agreed and sat back down, going silent for a moment. 'You are right' she said again and reached under the bed to pull out her sniper rifle and stared up at him. 'Who is the next on our hit list?'
'Adam Patchly' Spencer breathed as calmly as he could and watched her reload the weapon. 'Are you okay?' he then asked and she nodded but didn't look back up. 'Yeah, me neither' he sighed and sat beside her to check his own weapon.
Tony must have slept for six hours at the very most but Ziva wasn't snoring beside him and as much as it used to annoy him sometimes, he now found he was unable to sleep well without her there. Although Nathan kicking slightly in his sleep helped Tony because Ziva used to kick firmly in the same way but still with no actual loss of limb on his behalf.
The next morning seemed to have taken forever to arrive and Tony was awake a good two hours before the sunlight finally came through the crack in the curtains above the bed. Tony wanted to jump out of bed, not care about breakfast or even dressing appropriatly and just speed down to the hospital. But that couldn't happen. Beside him was an eight-year-old little boy that could break emotionally at any given moment when he thought of his mother laying in a hospital bad. He wouldn't want to eat or dress either but Tony was the parent and knew a child needed energy and to form good habits (all of Ziva's lectures had previously been brushed aside but he was hearing them now as they were all he had to go by). Nathan needed breakfast and to go about his usual morning routine because if today felt different and more urgent it would just stress him out futher.
Another half hour was all Tony could wait to let Nathan rest before he could not take it anymore and got out of bed. The boy who could not be accidentally woken was suddenly alert the moment Tony left the bed.
'Are we going to see mama now?' Nathan literally leapt from the bed as Tony buttoned up his fresh shirt and turned to face him.
'Soon. First we need to have breakfast and get dressed' Tony said.
'I'm not hungry' Nathan replied stubbornly. 'Please, can we just go see mama?'
Tony wanted to give in, he felt it would be okay if he did...since the child just wanted to see his mother and who was he to deny that when she was in a bad postion right now, sleeping in a hospital under constant watch? But it was as though becoming a father had awoken a part of his brain Tony never knew had even existed...a responsible part, a section of logic and resoning that he hadn't learnt from working crime scenes or interrogating suspects as he pieced together a puzzle. It came from simply accepting himself as Nathan's father and willing himself to truly believe the boy standing in front of him was his son. That part of his brain overrid the rest.
'Breakfast first, then we go see your mom' Tony said sighed at the pleading look he was getting but even though he could barely remain strong for himself...he somehow found it in him to remain strong for Nathan.
--
It was a bit past 7:30am when Tony and Nathan walked quickly but nervously into the hospital and approached the front desk, knowing that Jenny had gone home the night before and that Ziva wasn't in any immidiate danger.
'We're here to see Ziva David' Tony told the lady at the desk without any interest in her as he would have had a year or two ago.
'It is too early, not visiting hours' the woman there said without even looking up. 'Come back later'.
'Why won't they let us see her, daddy?' Nathan asked as Tony picked him up as he started getting upset. 'Daddy?'
The woman glanced up as Tony slammed his NCIS badge against the counter and then turned to look at the child in his arms, now huggng him tearfully.
'Daddy, I wanna see mama!' Nathan sniffed.
'Ten minutes' the woman said and while Tony didn't know if it was his badge or the upset child that kept calling him "daddy' that allowed them access...he really didn't care. 'Third room down the hall on the right' she added and Tony almost took off at a run after putting Nathan back down and grabbing his hand, but he also wanted to slow down as he was dreading this part as much as he was anxious for it.
'She's sleeping?' Nathan checked as they stared through the glass to look at Ziva hooked up to a few machines and with tubes around her.
'Yeah...' Tony gulped. 'She's just...recovering'.
But the pair then fell silent as they stared at Ziva's pale face and still form, the way she didn't smile at the sight of them or scowl at Tony for something. He wanted her to punch him, hit him...yell at him like the crazy ninja chick she was, just to convince him that she was okay. But she wasn't okay...how could she be? Ziva was lying in a hospital bed! As much as he had wanted to see her, Tony now wished he'd never come...he wanted to get the image of her just laying there out of his head.
Nathan sniffled a little as he held Toby bear close and Tony picked him up to comfort him, but still they did not say anything and just stared at the woman they both held so dearly in their hearts.
While Ziva slept on all through that day, it wasn't actually too long until she became aware of her surroundings and awoke, opening her eyes as though she hadn't used them in months. She was confused but knew she was in a hospital. Ziva noticed several pictures stuck on the wall and a few vases of flowers (one being very black and filled with roses...Abby's work, she was sure) on her bedside table along with cards, a few hand-made by the child she now missed dearly.
'Oh, it is nice to see you're awake' a nurse smiled at her as she came into the room.
'How long have I been...' Ziva tried to think of the right word but Tony wasn't there to correct her, although the nurse seemed to know what she was asking.
'Three days' she replied. 'Do you remember what happened?'
'Yes' Ziva snarled, flashing back to how that bastard had wanted to hurt her son even more. She calmed but was then put through a few memory tests since she had been hit on the head and the nurse seemed to think she could have brain damage...honestly, she'd been hit harder. Ziva rolled her eyes but answered the questions while using the time to take note of more details. It was late afternoon it seemed and she had the room to herself...had Tony come to see her? How was Nathan? Surely the poor boy would be upset. Ziva was hungry and rather sore but ignored it as she sat more upright and stared hard at the nurse.
'I want to see my son' Ziva demanded firmly.
'He was by early this morning with his father' the nurse replied. 'It is past visiting hours now, wait for tomorrow' she added and Ziva took a calming breath before speaking threatenly.
'I may be in hell, but I can still kill you eighteen different ways with a paperclip!' Ziva said. 'If I do not get my son right now...you are going to be glad you are in a hospital' she growled and the nurse backed out of the room to call Tony.
--
But the clock on the wall outside her room told Ziva that more than an hour had passed and still she lay alone until the door opened and even though she was dissapointed, she still felt relieved for the company.
'Gibbs' Ziva said simply but smiled slightly in greeting.
'Ziva' Gibbs replied and smirked while pretending to be confused. 'Did you really manage to scare all the staff within a 3-floor-radius, several patients...the security personnel have been called in twice but are too scared to come in for a third and you have even broken a machine?' Gibbs laughed softly. 'You must be feeling better?'
Ziva raised an eyebrow and looked innocent as Gibbs took a seat beside her with coffee in his hand.
'Where is Tony?' Ziva asked, calming down a lot though now that Gibbs was with her.
'He has taken Nathan to see a doctor but should be here soon' Gibbs told her and noticed that she started to panic, which was certainly not an emotion he thought her possible of expressing. 'Toothache' he added simply and she relaxed but was now mad at him for not mentioning that fact first.
--
They held casual conversations about NCIS and the kidnappers before Ziva stopped mid-sentence as she heard the sounds of small feet running.
'Mommy!' Nathan squealed in delight as he ran into the room and jumped on the bed but then froze. 'Did I hurt you?' he panicked, sadness showing in his features.
'No' Ziva lied, not even caring about any pain for a split second as she opened her arms for her son, hugging him for dear life.
'You're okay!' Nathan said happily. 'Daddy, mama's okay!' he turned as Tony came into the room carrying several things and more pictures while trying not to drop it all but at the same time hoping to assure himself that Ziva was indeed awake and fine.
'Yeah, Gibbs' the boss accepted a phone call and left the room to give them privacy, just as Tony dumped things on the once-occupied chair.
'Are you okay?' Ziva asked her son, running her hands through his hair lovingly, so happy to see him unharmed. She didn't look at Tony but all he could do was stare at her in relief.
'It was hard at first' Nathan confessed. 'But daddy looked after me and I don't care what you say, he's "daddy" to me!' he said and crossed his arms stubbornly but could not contain his excitement and stories. As Nathan told him about all the adventures he and Tony had gone through in a mere three days, Ziva pulled her eyes from her son for a moment to stare at the man she loved. Seeing the look on his face as he was so relieved she as okay truly made her feel as though there was no pain and no one was out there to pull them apart.
'And I'm going to look after you so you can come home' Nathan announced. 'I...we...got lots of movies for you and daddy said chocolate makes girls happy so we got some and new pillows since the old ones aren't fluffy enough...um, we got it all ready so...you can come home right?' he asked.
'Soon' Ziva nodded and Tony finally approached, neither adult noticing that Nathan was still talking.
'I missed you' Tony whispered as he leaned towards her, placing a hand on her cheek to make sure it was warm and that she was really there. 'Don't do that again'.
'Protecting my son or ending up in a hospital?' Ziva wondered.
'Leaving me' Tony corrected and leaned close so he could kiss her, rejoycing in the reunion as well as the wave of warmth and life he felt from her.
'Gross!' Nathan complained as he was sitting right near them. 'Do you have to do that now?' he frowned.
'Don't look' Tony laughed and covered the boy's eyes with his hands as he leaned to kiss Ziva again and she placed her hands on his cheeks, wanting him as much as he wanted her.
Gibbs watched from the doorway and knew they'd long forgotten he even existed but that didn't matter. What he saw in front of him was a family who loved each other more than even their own words or expressions could reveal. He knew from that moment that it had happened, that now...they truly were a family.
Author's Notes: A happier moment for some but how long will it last? For more family moments, keep an eye on next chapter but if you're a fan of Spencer and/or Eva then you're sure to like chapter 39. Oh and just to varify: Marcia Jose died 6 years ago at the age of 3. Spencer was her father and Eva her mother. Shocked? Feeling something else? I'd like to know. Review and I'll also update faster like I did with this chapter!
-Mel