Disclaimer : I do not own any character of (The Last of Us) TLOU is owned by Naughty Dog, but all the Oc character are from my invention.

Chapter 37 : Awake and Alive

(A week earlier with Joel)

Joel is in front of his house, with his key in one hand, not knowing how he got there. But he has a bad feeling about this. Something seems wrong to him, but he can't figure out what. He starts to hear a voice inside the house. A voice he knows well, so he puts the key in the lock and opens the door.

"Hey, Daddy, you're home early - was everything okay at work?" asks a 12-year-old girl in front of him.

"Sarah?" asks Joel, surprised.

"Yessss… who else do you think I am?" asks the girl, looking at him with some curiosity.

"I… I… I ain't sure, baby,"

"Oh... Did you hit your head or something at work? Do you want me to call 911?" asks Sarah, getting close to him.

"Work?" asks Joel, a little confused.

"Yeah, work… where you and Uncle Tommy went this morning, remember?" answers Sarah with a worried face. "Okay, let me check your head." Sarah grabs his hand and pulls him to the couch. "If I see any injuries to your head, I will call 911... okay?" Sarah tells him as she helps him sit there.

"I don't feel any pain in my head, baby girl. I just feel a little confused. But I really want to know why you're here," says Joel while Sarah checks his head.

"Well, it's past 4:00 pm, Dad. I get out of school at 3:00pm, remember?" says Sarah, smiling. "Okay, I don't see anything, but you're sure that everything is fine?" Sarah asks him, a little worried.

"I feel fine, kiddo, don't worry a… about… me?"

"Kiddo!... I don't remember you calling me that before... Are you sure that you're okay?" Sarah asks again.

Joel starts to look at Sarah, trying to find out what is wrong with all this, and why he called her that. He has this feeling inside that tells him that something is not right, but he can't see what it is. "Did you change your look or something?"

"What!... why did you say that?... do I look awful, or ugly?" she asks while looking at herself.

"No!... no, you… you look beautiful, baby girl… ummm... Don't pay attention to what I'm saying, I think I'm just a little tired, okay?" he says, smiling a little at her.

"Well... I'm glad that you're home, Daddy. You work too much for us, so maybe it's time for you to have some rest," says Sarah, getting up from the couch and kissing him on the cheek.

Joel!... I know you're out there… I need you, please!

"What!" Joel hears a whispering voice, but doesn't know who it is or where it came from, so he starts to look around. "Did you hear that?" he looks at Sarah and asks.

"Hear what?... are you sure you're okay, Dad? I can still call a doctor or something," says the girl, standing in front of him.

"No, no… it's okay, baby girl... Like I said before, maybe I need little rest."

"Well… why don't you go up to your room and take a shower. Maybe you'll feel better after that. Dinner is going to be ready soon," says Sarah, moving toward the kitchen.

"Did you really cook?... like for real?" asks Joel, following her to the kitchen.

"Yeah, I've been doing that since Uncle Tommy taught me how. And you started to get home too late to cook."

Joel tries to figure out why this feels so wrong. Sarah never cooked - after she tried a few times and always burned the food. But looking at his daughter in front of him… what could be wrong about that? Joel moves close to her and hugs her so tight that he almost suffocates her. "I love you so much, baby girl... you know that, don't you?"

"Yeahhhh… Dad, I know. I love you, too," she says, hugging him back. "Dad, you're acting weird."

"Sorry, baby girl. I think that that shower sounds like a good idea," says Joel as soon as he moves away from the hug.

"Yeah... just go, okay? I'll let you know when dinner is ready." Then Sarah turns and goes to check the food.

Joel keeps watching her, then he walks toward the stairs. He is halfway to the second floor when he hears that voice again. Joel!... I need you. He turns around as soon as he feels the voice behind him. But as soon as he does, he doesn't see anyone there. He doesn't know why that voice sounds so familiar, or why he's been hearing it. It's like someone's been whispering in his ear, but no one is there.

He turns around and continues his way up. He gets to the second floor and walks toward his room. Before he gets there, he passes in front of Sarah`s, but stops there, when he hears the voice again. Joel!... Where are you!

The voice seems to come from inside her room, so Joel goes to the door and opens it. He looks inside and sees that nothing has changed in there. The room looks just like he remembers it from the last time he was there. But he's not sure when that was… was it this morning? he asks himself, not even remembering what day today is. He walks out of the room and closes the door. He walks toward his room, and when he gets there, he sees that his room is also the same way he remembers it. He enters his room and starts to look around when he hears the voice again: Joel!... I need you!

Shit - what the hell is this, why am I hearing this voice… who are you? Joel asks the voice, but he doesn't get any answer. As that is starting to piss him off, he walks to the bathroom and turns on the sink faucet. He puts some water on his hand and splashes it on his face, several times. After that, he puts his hands on the edge of the sink and closes his eyes. What the hell has happened to me - am I going crazy?

Joel!... where are you… I need you, please! There's the voice again.

Shit, who are you and what do you want from me… just tell me… or leave me alone... PLEASE! He screams the last part, and that can be heard in all the house. He shakes his head and in that moment, he feels that someone is at the entrance of the bathroom. Joel turns his head and sees Sarah standing there, looking at him with a sad expression. "Sorry, baby girl, I don't mean to scare you... I don't know what is going on with me."

"It's okay, Daddy... I understand. I want you here more than anything, I miss you so much. But I know that this is not your time, and you're needed elsewhere."

"What do you mean by that?... I don't understand... do you know what is happening to me?"

"You're still hearing her voice… right?" Sarah asks him with a more serious voice.

"Her voice?... you hear that, too?... do you know who she is?" asks Joel desperately.

"Yes!... and you do, too… it's just hard for you to remember now, but you know who she is."

"I do?... I…I don't understand... Ellie! That can't be, if I'm here with you? How can I still hear her voice... is this a dream?... Or I'm dead?" asks Joel, looking in her eyes.

"I can't explain what this is, or why you are here. But she needs you, so you need to go back with her. It's not your time to be here yet," she says sadly.

"Go back?... But I want to stay with you?... I don't understand why we're back at our house... is this… heaven?... because I ain't supposed to be here, if you are."

"No, this is some place else. I know you have a lot of questions, and maybe someday I can answer them. I want us to be together again, but for now, it's time for you to go."

"Go!... But Sarah, I want to stay with you... I love you. I know that I did a lot of things that I ain't proud of. But I'll do anything to be with you, even if I don't deserve it... Please, baby girl... forgive me... I just need-"

"It's okay, Daddy, I love you too, no matter what you had to do before. I wanted to be with you again, too. But that time will come when you are ready. Before that, you have someone that needs you, so go back and help her." Sarah moves close to him and hugs him. "I love you, Daddy... I always have, and I will be here waiting for you, when that time comes."

Joel hugs her back, as hard as he can. "I love you too, baby girl. I always will. I wish things were different, that none of this happened and we'd have a normal life. And I wanted to tell you that she was never a replacement for you. No one can take your place. But she changed my life, and I love her, too."

"I know, Dad, I just want you to be happy, and I know that she can make you feel that way. That's why you need to go back - she needs you right now. Don't worry about me; I'm happy if you are."

Joel moves her head away from his chest, and kisses her on the forehead. "I love you, baby, always."

"I love you too, Daddy, always." Then she disappears, and everything starts to get dark, until Joel can't see anything. He starts to feel pain in all his body. He doesn't know what just happened or what is going on. He tries to open his eyes as soon as he hears a voice, but this time it's not Ellie`s.

"Hey, doctor, I think he's waking up," says a man beside his bed.

As Joel opens his eyes, he looks at the man beside him, still trying to focus, but he can't recognize him. He moves his head and tries to get a look at the place to see where he is, but he doesn't recognize the place, either. He sees that the room he is in looks like a hospital room, but he doesn't remember how he got there.

"Hey, how do you feel, man?" asks the man close to him.

Joel can't remember this man, but his face looks familiar to him. He is wearing a long-sleeved sweater with a hood, and he can barely see his face. He tries to remember, and notices the scars on his face. He remembers seeing a black man with scars on his face, helping him.

"John... you should not be here during the day. Someone could recognize you, and then we're going to have some problems," says a woman on the other side of the room.

"Oh, don't worry, Doc, I don't think anyone here can recognize me now. I just want to be here when he wakes up. So he can tell me why those men were attacking him and the girl that was with him," says the man, now looking to where the woman is.

As soon as Joel hears the mention of a girl, he moves one hand and grabs the man by the sweater, and pulls him down to him. "The girl!... where is she?" he asks in a lower voice.

"Hey… take it easy, man, I'm not your enemy here... we're just trying to help you," says the man, grabbing Joel's hand so he lets go of him.

Joel lets go of him, but not because he wants to do it. He barely feels his hand, or his body, so he lays back down on the bed. The man moves away when the woman comes close to check on him.

"John is right… we only want to help you, and you shouldn't try to move too much - your body isn't completely healed from your injuries. It's a miracle that you're still alive... you lost a lot of blood from the shot you had to your arm. Not to mention the other injuries you have on the rest of your body," explains the woman as she gets close to him.

"Who are you, and where is Ell- the girl that was with me?... if you've done something to her, I swear that you're going to pay for that," says Joel while he tries to move up again.

"Wow... I can't believe that you're still like this. Even when I brought you here, you were kicking like someone was trying to kill you... Besides, you should be more grateful that we care enough to save your life."

"Yeah, you were badly injured when he brought you here. If it wasn't for him, you'd be dead by now. So why don't you just calm down, and let me check on you. It seems like you hit your head, and I need to see if you don't have any brain damage?"

"My head feels fine, I just need to know where the girl is. So why don't you stop talking nonsense and tell me-"

The woman shakes her head, but smiles a little at how this man can be so stubborn. "Sorry… John told me that he saw you with a girl, but she wasn't with you when he found you. I know that you want to know what happened to her, but first, I need you to take care of yourself."

"You don't understand - if she's not here, I need to go out and find out what happened to her."

"I understand that you want to find your daughter, but when John brought you here, you were very injured… unconscious. So we don't know exactly what happened to you, or your girl, but maybe if you can tell us, we can help you. So you can start by telling us your name. Mine is Wendy, and I'm the doctor here. This is John - he's the one that brought you here, and you're in a town called Pine Hill. So now that you know who we are, maybe you can tell us who you are?" says the woman, looking at him.

"Look, I don't care who you two are, or where this place is… So let me go before something happens to her," says Joel while he sits up on the bed and tries to get out again.

"Hey, what are you doing?... you can't get out of bed - you're going to pass out," says Wendy while trying to stop him.

As soon as Joel puts his feet on the floor, he starts to get dizzy… and then everything goes black and he falls down. Wendy manages to catch him before he hits the ground, but she has some difficulty getting hold of him. He is heavier than she thought, so John moves close to her and helps her get him back to the bed. After that, Wendy starts checking him again.

"Do you think he's going to be fine soon?" asks John.

"With some rest and time, yes, I think so. The gunshot wound is healing fine, but he still has a few busted ribs and a few cuts on his left leg, and other places. He will recover from those in a couple of weeks, maybe less. But if he continues moving and trying to get out, he is going to get worse."

"Well, let's hope that when he wakes up, he stops being so stubborn," says the man, looking at him.

"I'll do all that I can to save his life… that is my job. But I don't get why you're trying to help him... You don't know who he is. He could be a hunter... or worse," says Wendy while she continues with the examination.

"Yeah, I don't know who he is. But one thing I'm sure of is that he's not one of them. I managed to see how he fought those men. And the girl he's talking about... they took her, so I assume as soon as he gets well, he's going to help us."

"Help us... how? He can barely stand up - how do you think he's going to help us? Or, better - why?"

"If you saw how he fought those infected in the city - and later, those men... You would see what kind of man he is."

"He almost got killed, so I don't get why you put so much hope in him. He's going to be lucky if he gets better in a few weeks," says Wendy, moving away from the bed.

"Well, I can see that he is a survivor, and I know that those men have his daughter. As a father myself, I know he will do anything to get her back."

"I'm sorry about your son, John... part of that was my fault, and I will do everything I can to help you get him back. I just hope that you know what you're doing. I mean, trusting this man that you just rescued. Not to mention the trouble I'm going to be in if Matthew sees him or you here," says Wendy, putting a hand on John's shoulder.

John puts one hand on top of hers and looks her in the eye. "Don't blame yourself for that. You did all you could to help us."

"Yeah, but that doesn't make me feel better. I worked for them for a time, remember? And it's my fault that they got your boy and almost killed you," says Wendy, lowering her head.

"I don't blame you… you're not like them, and you don't work for the Fireflies anymore. You do so much for this town... I've seen that in the short time I've been here. Don't worry, I'll get my son back, and I know this man is going to help us. Just make sure that he does."

"I'll do my best... he looks like a strong man, so I'm sure he's going to be fine. He just needs time to recover. Speaking of time, you'd better go - we don't need the people here to know that you're still alive," says Wendy, moving away.

"I don't know why you're so worried... you practically run this place now, after they killed Jacob."

"That may be true, but we don't know who to trust now, after what happened to you and your son. There's a lot of good people here, but some of them are scared, and people that are scared do stupid things. So it's better for now to keep this between us, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah... I will go and come back in a few days. If he wakes up before that, talk to him. I know you can make him understand our situation here. You're good at that."

" I will try... just be careful out there, okay, and don't worry, I will take care of him."

"Thanks. I have faith that this man is going to be our salvation. I'll see you in a couple of days." With that, the man goes out of the clinic where they have Joel. The doctor moves close to the bed again and looks at him more carefully. "I don't know what John sees in you, but I hope he is right about you," says Wendy in a lower voice, then walks out of the room.

(A week later)

It's been 2 weeks since Joel was rescued and brought to a little town close to Rapid City by John. He woke up a week after that, but went unconscious again. The doctor there has been taking care of him. John came a few days later to check on him, but as Joel was still out, he went away again. Some of the people of the town that come to the clinic started asking who he was. But Wendy just told them that he was an old friend of hers that came from another colony and was attacked by hunters. Nobody questioned her much about that, so things were quiet for awhile. Lucky for them, the last time the Firefly group from the military air base close to Rapid City came was before John brought him into the town.

The little town where Joel is now is called Pine Hill; it's a small settlement to the south of Rapid City that is in the southwest of the state of South Dakota. The city is close to the border of Wyoming. The population of the town is small: just 50 or 60 people. They fixed the place up to try to have a new life there.

Most of the people there are just old farmers and animal hunters. Some are young ones that try to have a better life. The town was part of a big housing complex that was called Colonial Pine Hill, back in the day, but just a portion of that complex was turned into the small colony it is now, with walls and fences. Just to keep out the infected or other threats.

Joel opens his eyes slowly, after being out for another week. He tries to focus and look at the room he is in. He moves his head from side to side until he sees a young woman standing in the door frame of the room.

"Doctor, I think that your patient friend is awake," says the young woman, looking to one side of the corridor.

Wendy comes quickly, stops beside the other woman, and looks into the room. "Okay, Mary, I will handle this. Just go to the front and if no one comes today after an hour, you can go home. If something happens, I will send for you, okay?" The young woman nods, says goodbye to her, and walks away.

Joel sees the older woman walk toward him and speak. "Hi!... I hope you feel better today." Joel looks at her, trying to register who she is and what happened to him. "I hope we can do all this a little better this time."

"Who're you... and where am I?" asks Joel, a little confused.

"Oh, I see that you don't remember me… well, seeing the circumstances, I think that that is normal. So maybe it's good if we introduce ourselves again. Okay, my name is Wendy, and I'm the doctor of this town... and yours is?"

"Look, I don't need to know your name. I just need to know where I am and where is El- I mean, the girl that was with me."

"No name, then, umm… well, I wished to do this with John here. Because he can explain this better than me. He was the one that rescued you, so he knows more than... me. Even though he told me some of what happened," says Wendy, getting closer to the bed.

"Rescue me!... I don't get any of this... why not just tell me what happened to the girl?"

"Because she's not here and I'm not sure where she is... Look, I will tell you what John told me. But if you want more information, you need to wait until he comes back."

"So you're telling me that she ain't here?" asks Joel with a hard voice while he tries to sit up in the bed. Wendy moves quickly toward him and puts a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Please don't do that - you still have some injuries that haven't healed well yet, and the last time you tried to get out of bed, you blacked out."

"Last time?... how long have I been in here?" asks Joel with a worried face.

"You've been here for two weeks," answers Wendy with a calm voice.

"Two weeks!... I need to get out of here. If those men have her, or are still looking for her... I need to find her first." Joel tries to get up again, but feels a strong pain in one of his legs and arms.

"I'm sorry about your girl, but there's nothing you can do for her now. You need to recover first, if you want to go back out there. Even if you knew where she is, what are you going to do...? Your left leg is still in bad shape - you can't move it too much without feeling any pain. You also have some busted ribs, and your right arm is still not good," she says to him, sadly.

"Listen, lady, I don't know you, and I've been worse off than this before. I need to find my girl, before the men who attacked us find her and do something to her."

"Did you not listen to anything I just told you?" says Wendy, looking at him in disbelief.

"You don't understand. She's still out there. I don't know how I got here, but I need to find her." Joel sits up in the bed and tries to walk away from it, but as soon as he puts his feet on the floor, he starts to feel the pain again. The leg doesn't hurt much, but his chest does, and his right arm… he can barely move it, so he just stays hanging on to the bed, with his head down.

Joel starts to get worried for Ellie; the last time he saw her was when he fell in that hole in the city building. He thought that he was going to die, and not see Ellie again, so he said goodbye to her. He can't forget the expression of horror in Ellie's eyes when he said those last words to her, and to run to save herself. Joel doesn't know how he survived the fall, or the infected that he saw down there. He could hear them coming at him… he managed to kill some before he passed out. But how he can still be alive is something he doesn't understand. The woman said that someone brought him here, but he needs to know what happened to Ellie... this is something that is eating him alive. But the woman is right: what can he do now? He can't move much, and if he needs to fight to get to her, how is he going to do that? But I can't shake from my mind that all this is my fault. If I just wasn't so stubborn and tried to resolve what Ellie and I have back in Jackson, none of this would have happened.

The doctor moves close to him, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking at him with a sad expression. "I know that you're worried for your daughter, but you need to recover first if you want to rescue her."

Joel doesn't know what to think, but what this woman just said got his attention. He moves his head and looks at her. "What do you mean, rescue her?... So you do know where she is?" asks Joel.

"Well… we're not sure if she is with them, but the probability is high," says Wendy, moving away when she sees Joel's face.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?... If you know where she is, just tell me who has her?... shit, start talking, woman!" asks Joel desperately.

"Sorry I didn't tell you this before. But I didn't know where to start or what you were going to do."

"Well, you'd better start talking, and if you don't know where to start, why don't you start by telling me who are the ones that have her?" Joel says with a hard voice.

"Maybe I can help you with that," says a hooded man that enters the room.

"John!... you're back."