*It's been forever. School is a monster. I am sorry. I'm afraid this story will be seriously lacking some updates this year :P My prediction. But I'm not going to abandon the story or temporarily do that! But this is just a warning that I won't be updating it as often as I did. So sorry but here is a chapter for you lovely souls*

Chapter Thirty-five

"You don't understand what you're putting yourself to and now..."

"I know Lucy, but I need your help in order to do this." I stared at her as she stood on the opposite side of the Animus. If she had a plan well, I had one too. She was looking down, both hands on the Animus for support, hunched over speechless. "Lucy, how far am I in this research?"

"You're on memory block four," she answered finally.

"Okay," I worked slowly, "how many memory blocks total then until you've finally gotten what you've been looking for?"

"There are seven memory blocks total. I still think this is a poor move to make on your part. It's not just you at risk anymore..." It was true. Now in my body I had to fight for two. But I needed to know. If Lucy kept convincing Vidic to lay me off of the research bit by bit I might as well just be swept off the table like crumbs after a meal. I was curious to know what ordeal my ancestor went through and I wanted to see the revelation.

"Did they really give Vidic and you two more weeks?"

"At first they did. But now they've changed their minds. Three more days to unlock memory block seven and I know it's not enough time."

"This is what I need from you, help me finish this by programming the Animus after Vidic goes to sleep. I can get so much more closer to the last memory block then this way," I encouraged. Lucy sighed as a moment she pondered the consequences. Her round eyes narrowed and tightened at the corners like ringing out a rag full of water. Then her pale lips parted but no sound was ever produced. They closed again pursed this time and without more to say she swayed herself behind the computer screen. The Animus was powering up. "Lucy I can't-"

"Don't celebrate yet. You are unaware of the danger that I'm putting you in for doing this."

I stopped myself from hopping onto the Animus.

"Here are the dangers. You go into the Animus and I'll let you relive your ancestor's memories until the Animus starts glitching out sort of speak. The condition, I'll let you in but you have to inform me if you start, even for a fleeting moment, start losing any control of your senses or memory loss you are to tell me and we're going to stop for the night. I don't care if it's six minutes or an hour in the Animus, I'm pulling you out." Lucy's facial expressions hardened and her blue eyes pierced me. Obviously, the severity of the risks did not seem to sink in as much as she would have liked. But I shook my head and told her I would be vigilant for the signs.

"One more thing," she looked down at me as I laid out on the Animus. "When I mean if the Animus begins to glitch you'll know. White webs or specks will appear to you in a very life-like manner. Or even worse, sometimes the program will default and you will feel like you are a glitch."

"If you're trying to scare me it's not going to work."

Her lips pursed tight and thin like a smooth slit in the skin. "I'm being serious you know. If you don't take me seriously I won't put you through another session while I'm alive." I preceded to climb onto the Animus and lay down.

"I am aware of everything that you say and I'm taking it seriously." I peered straight into her eyes observing how the blue lights from the Animus reflected in her eyes like a halo. She turned around and walked back to her computer. I turned my head staring at the ceiling hearing the glass slide from the slot and around my face. The fragments of DNA appeared before me but not enough time to look at all of them before Lucy had selected from where I last started.

I looked up to have the moonlight pierce through the lattice work and shower me in it's abrasive light. The fountain was trickling and I was the only being coiled up in a corner of the resting room. I stretched out my legs before rising to my feet. My ankles felt like they were beginning to swell from running around and that's what reminded me that not only was I carrying a child in the real world, but my ancestor was too. It was these thought occurring processes that made my head spin My hand found its way to my abdomen. Nothing seemed unusual about it only the glorifying fact that I was not showing. Then I heard books dropping in the next room.

Malik was muttering to himself gathering the clutter of book into the one arm he had. He turned to me as I stood in the doorway for a moment. He continue to squat behind his counter stacking up the volumes and loose pages until they made a small-like tower that came just below his knees when he stood straight. "Stop thinking about it," he spoke at last.

"What are you talking about?" I entered the room spying out the table had been cleared and the dishes were all stacked by the snuffed out fire pit. "What are you doing still up?" I saw Malik yawn as he hunched over the detailed map he was outlining of Jerusalem in ink. There were no blemishes on the map but perfect layouts of most of the city except for the poor district had yet to be spotted with intricate lines of ink. I gave an indifferent expression on the outside as he refused to meet my gaze. On the inside I was feeding off of the shame, humiliation and being alienated to some degree by the clan. Dalal briefly mentioned that Malik and his brother were born into the creed like Altair. And now Malik felt deserted by the ones he knew only as brother and a sense of belonging was stolen.

For moments it was all quiet in the Bureau. Dalal I had assumed gone off and retired to bed, likewise and as for Altair he must have been out wandering the streets again; reasons unknown. If I had stayed back at Masyaf would the circumstances of Malik and I be totally different? There was a physical response from me to the indescribable sadness accumulating between us. It felt like the entirety of my being was missing a piece like the pit missing from a peach...Interaction was sparse before last summer however, the atmosphere gradually became something anew. An epiphany that there was never sadness between us but we were, in general, sad human beings that just happened to fester off each others' emptiness. I never despised Malik for who he was nor did Malik I believe.

The physical emptiness swelled inside me at the thought of telling him this. With his carefully scrutiny like a doctor to his patients he plucked the first book upon the stack and began restoring them to their proper place. "Clearly I still have work that needs to be completed." His voice strained as though a man were about to convulse himself into tears. Equally as worn it was crackly like a fire that chilled me as I listened to the earthy clunks of the books sliding back into the shelf hitting the back of the wall. I found it a struggle to say something honest without sounding cynical.

"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" he echoed slowly. "Am I?" he turned slowly back around now seeming to propose a rhetorical question. "Do you do what you do and believe it as okay, Natasha?"

"I believe the question doesn't make sense to me."

"It makes perfect sense."

"I find it irrelevant to the context."

"Oh, then what is the context to this?" Everything I had retorted with he shot back with more precision, forcing me to narrow it down; to ask myself open-ended questions that ruled the basic foundations of my moralities. Did I even have any as my duty as an assassin? I heard him jeer in my silence. A smile encroached on his features, gleaming to be in fact that was so cavalier. I berated his response. Malik wore that short-lived smile because he knew something I did not. The context.

"You're playing around with me," I swallowed in some kind of fear. I did not like feeling vulnerable, I could feel the status-quo shift.

"I've never lied to you," his confidence growing.

"I never-"

"You go around following a man's decree without hesitation or instinct whether or not what you do is just."

"Are you saying you're not loyal to the Creed and Al Mualim's teaching anymore?"

"I'm not talking about Al Mualim and the Creed, I'm talking about Altair." My cheeks were flushed and my neck felt hot at the mentioning of his name. Malik picked up another book and instead of placing it on the shelf he placed in on the counter between us.

"I don't follow him blindly," I attempted to say as plainly as I could.

"Yes, you do. Have you ever wondered what kind of man he is? What kind of man you interact and expose yourself to daily?" On impulse I thought about the blades that had etchings of my name carved into each one. He hadn't told me he had kept them or managed to acquire them... But suppose it was fair he never knew they were mine, never knew how to read the English text. The Animus had been translating everything for me.

"You make him sound like he is a miasma of disease. Besides, you are as guilty as I, he is your friend. You grew up with him in the Creed."

"Then you give me more credibility to what I am saying to you. He is a serpent keeping you underneath him as he twists his conceptions around you until you lose your own. You were not as free as you once were before six years ago."

"Stop! Stop!" I threw my arms down to my side when I heard his last words. He obeyed and silent he remained, still as glass and sadness portrayed in his eyes. I had my teeth clenched inhaling deeply and exhaling through my mouth. Malik had known nothing about me before Masyaf unless Dalal had said some things to him. I cringed at the thought of her crossing me like that. "I don't know where you obtained information about me before Masyaf but I can assure you that you will put a stop to whatever point you're going for. I simply don't want to hear it now."

"You will for your own good," he cleared his throat.

"Let's specify, who's own good is it for really?"

"Yours!"

"You just can't seem to let things go. Apologize to Altair and we can all move on!" I matched his volume.

Malik's intense eyes lowered, "I wish it were only that easy. You will find it difficult no matter the person to forgive after they have jeopardized the safety of your family." His hand crept onto the book that had been sitting there. He wanted to hand me the book, the bare, wordless book cover that had drops of water stain on it. "I want you to read this..." he pushed the book away from him to the edge of the counter.

"I don't have time to read a novel right now," I shot looking away crossing my arms in defense. Malik shook his head into his chest.

"The only reason I am doing this is because I had cared for you, immensely at one point in time, but if you insist on being ignorant towards me then amen. So be it. I guess whatever I admired in you is gone and has been taken away from me too." He licked his forefinger and thumb and snuffed out the candle. I was astonished to find the as dark and compressed when the only source of light had died.

"Wait, Malik." I reached out for him walking to the counter but he disappeared behind the curtains and ceased to acknowledge me. I was alone. Wherever Dalal and Altair were they were not here to comfort me. I sighed putting my face into my hands and just covered my cheeks in cold tears. I wiped my eyes quickly finding my composure again I rested my hand down on the cover of the book having forgotten that it was right there, underneath my wet fingertips. I slid the book to me off the counter dazed at how such a seemingly heavy novel weighed no more than my pinky.

I took my other hand and made it into a fist and knocked on the hard cover. It was hollow. I opened the book to find my theory was correct. It was a box designed to be as a book, not something you would find in the market. This was homemade. Whatever the book was about originally was dissected out by a cleaver and the outside pages glued together to hold it all in. It was a collection of letters inside the book. I felt my stomach twist and my fingers shook. These had better not have been love letters. They were all informative letters dated back six years ago. I reached and unfolded the last letter that was directed to Altair...

My breath snagged like my robe being caught by a tree limb and out of being dazed it was as though I simply watched the tree limb being pulled back. I looked up from the ink. For a moment in time I didn't know what I was reading but my face grew pale. It was written in black and white with nothing in between. Whoever had given the order to Altair was a mystery but it was no mystery that the order was to assassinate my family and Altair had accepted it.

The order was smudged as though the writer to this dark deed had mistakenly rubbed his thumb over the day and had to fix it when the stain had dried. No matter, the course of action was destined to be carried out only a day after the Templars had gotten there first. It made sense now. The first vision outside the Animus, even then my ancestor was telling me something. That day I had met Altair in the Kingdom escaping from Robert de Sable, he was returning from Jerusalem to figure out that the Templars had finished his job for him. He lied to me about my blades. How could I have been so stupid to not still see that he was somehow connected to all this then? He may have been telling the truth at first but he figured, he was calculating, he was smart, he knew it wasn't by coincidence that they weren't anyone's blades but mine. He killed the Templars that stole them. He intentionally tried to avoid about where he got the scar on his lips. I gave him that scar then, I marked him then. He knew that too.

I crumpled the piece of parchment into my sweaty hands then tossed it onto the floor. I stormed my way out of the room pulling the hood over my head. I was going to find Altair even if it took me from dusk till dawn that I would find him. I climbed out of the Bureau and across the rooftops overseeing the sleeping city. The guards were not as alert as they were in the day. No one had a reason to be out this late at night so the alleys and streets were naked.

I made my way to the poor district peering down into the alleys but the shadows gave full concealment if there was anyone wanting to hide from me. I jumped down anyway ignoring how every muscle of mine was screaming from exhaustion. The wind whipped before me that I turned around and found the white-robed figure who was going to be a dead man. "Why?" I confronted him. I clawed the front of his robes glaring into the amber eyes I thought I knew well. He took hold of both of my wrists and pushed me from him. I reached desperately for the chance to have my nails under his skin. He fought me off well.

"Sarraf, what's going on?" he murmured.

"Liar!" I hissed, "you knew more than you were telling! You were set to assassinate my family and you forgot to mention that!" I could not restrain my natural response to pain. The hot tears fell from my cheeks. Altair let my wrists slide through his rough hands like sand so I could wipe them from my face. These were not tears of sorrow, I had spent those on the way here. These were tears of resentment and anger.

"You wouldn't understand." He stood still watching me only an arm's length away but he did not come to me. I didn't want him to anyway.

"I think I know that a group of murderers wanted my family and I dead! What did we do to ever deserve this?"

"Your father was making trades with the Templars for profit. We had no choice but to stop him. We gave him many warnings and he ignored every single one of them."

"So you would have killed innocent people along with acts committed by the one perpetrator? What good does that ever bring to the common people? I was innocent like the common person!" Still he did not gesture or make a sound of defiance. It was as though he was already wiped of empathy and other worldly attachment that I may as well have been foolish even speaking to him. "If I knew that a half a year and more ago that I had been helping the people who sought justice by condemning my family to death I would have stayed with the Templars who defiled and abused me!"

"Don't say such a thing," Altair's voice was stern and crisp. I stared him in the eyes flushed with nothing but tears and contempt.

"How about you who didn't say anything at all!"

"I had no choice but to accept. The past is concluded with, I don't feel the same as then." His gaze shot down below him. Not as if he were praying but as though as he felt the dead staring up at the soles of his boots. I watched him clutch his robe over where his heart should be with his large hand then unclasp and brought the same hand down to his side. Whatever change of heart he was facing I decided he would face it alone just as I had done with the loss of loved ones.

"You made your choice about keeping secrets so I guess I'll keep mine," I turned and in doing so glaring at him. He looked up startled by my cold, heartless tone and saw the sharp frown impending upon my brow.

"What do you mean by that?" I shrugged him off not even so much as to give him a sound to match my mood. I turned around and ran off trying so hard not to look back but I could feel that he had cold feet. He did not chase after me. I felt the sting of pain as though a hand from the inside came and squeezed my heart. I stopped for a moment short of breath. Then there was a shadow from the sky. I immediately looked up into the night only to find that it wasn't a person it was a lonesome eagle flying through the sky. I must have ran a few blocks before I had to stop by this palm tree. My heart was pumping, my head was screaming, I trembled at the knees feeling as though I was going to puke. Perhaps this is what Jabal warned me about with the single word: betrayal.

I took it to the rooftops on a very windy night. My long robes slapped the air and back making a similar sound to a whip cracking. What was I supposed to do? How could I handle myself like this? I thought of looking to the stars to help but they were obscured by some gathering storm clouds. I have my own secrets to maintain. I suppose it's almost humorous that I was going to tell him the ridiculous things about the Animus and being a part of another time and that I'm living my ancestor's memories under the impression that I'm expecting and my story of my abduction with this mad idea of the Bleeding Effect...

It was inviting enough to break down into tears. I slid to a stop on my swollen feet I took a seat on the edge of a building looking down I thought what it would be like to just fall from this height. Not that I wanted to die, but out of sheer curiosity I suppose I wanted to know if I would feel much at all if I had the choice to fall. I cringed for inside of me there was a force that still kept me here. My breath staggered, the wind made it frightfully cold. I curled up my knees close to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I didn't see a purpose to avenge my family, there was nothing to gain that could bring their faces all fresh in my mind. There seemed to be no chance of a happy ending for an Assassin. What memory did Abstergo really want with me? No one, not even Lucy would loosen her lips to tell me.

"You up there! I need help! Please come help me!" I uncoiled my legs and peered down for the pleading call. For a moment I thought surely they weren't asking help from me but indeed they were. A women it appeared was being picked upon by some of the city guards. Their garbs gleamed in the light of the night. I jumped down in steps until I had reached the ground safely. I stepped up to the three guards and pulled one apart. The first was lighter than expected for he held little resistance and even less when I plunged the blade into his back without a second thought. He dropped light a swatted fly. I reached across the next nearest one to me and dispatched him just as quickly. I picked a part to the last one that was more so struggling to stand up let alone attack some woman. He let out a whimper as I grabbed his collar feeling around in the empty space and how the uniform was ill-fitted for such a man. I brought the blade into him and silenced him. I heard the life die with one last gasp then slumped to the ground clinging to me.

"Are you alright civilian?" The woman who wrapped herself in a mud colored shawl was evermore quiet. Her head was bent so I could not see her features but she hugged herself tightly that her big hands reminded me of claws. She was petrified perhaps but not trembling. To my discretion I was almost perturbed to find herself straighten up with broad shoulders being revealed. My intuition was telling me something was amiss. However, I took a step closer to her. "Don't worry now, you're safe, you can head back home." Still evermore she had not spoken a word to me. But then she cackled like loud, tremulous thunder. The shawl slipped off and in doing so lifted a smug gaze.

"You're under arrest you savage, blood thirsty heretic!" From the shadows more guards appeared chuckling. I looked down and around me lifting the lifeless body that died holding onto me and brought the face into the moonlight. His eyes were open, his cheek bone protruded out of hunger. He was no more than their puppet, he was an innocent bystander. They laughed as I turned, couldn't help but part my lips in horror as all of them were just civilians forced to get into their armor. The worst of it was they had a reason to arrest me now.

One came with meaty hands and held my own behind my back. Triumphant they were I did not scream for anyone else to aid me. Another guard came to me lifted my chin until I was looking into his own dark eyes. His hands were like sandpaper as he pinched my cheeks together until my lips would pucker.

"Look at this broken woman. Do you remember me?" He pointed up to his cheek where there was a scar in a crescent shape down his cheek. "Who's broken now?" with that he jabbed me hard in my ribcage. I let out a short scream and huffed. I prayed that he hadn't cracked a rib and that the child inside was okay. My eyes were round at the thought of how much more careful I had to be. The man stood straight up and before I could retaliate or get another good look at his face a bag was placed over my eyes and all feeling escaped me from then on.

Altair faced the wall until the sun had vividly outlined his shadow. He remained on his side past dawn and continued to lay on the pallid of pillows until he had heard her sound of her feet come down from the ceiling. But she had not returned. He somewhat expected her not to show until later in the day. But then he heard the sounds of feet pad in down from the ceiling as he would hope. He slowly rose from his spot and turned around. It was not Sarraf it was Dalal. She came running up to him choking on her breath covered in tears and a puffy red face.

"What has happened here?" He allowed Dalal to cry in his arms. He felt her quiver like a child that had woken from a terrible nightmare.

"Natasha, sh-she has not r-returned..." again the gentle woman sobbed into his chest. He did not say anything about it. He couldn't. There was no surprise to him why she had not returned. Dalal sniffled and gazed at him with an inquiring look. "Why hasn't she come back Altair? Why?" Altair sighed along too holding her close to him letting his lip slip into a frown.

"I would not know what has been keeping her but I will find her Dalal. I promise that." Altair carefully moved out of holding Dalal and stared up the fountain. Its water gleamed like glittering tears from the sun. Altair stepped onto the platform about to take off.

"Wait, Assassin!" He jumped down to face Dalal who had a feather in her hand. An eagle's feather, brown and tan speckled with elegance. However, when she pulled the feather to him for him to take it was coated in blood.

"Where did you find this?" he almost stammered. His fingertips were growing cold the longer he gazed upon it. He took the feather into his hand allowing the sun to shed light on it.

"I found it tied on the ladder to climb up on the Bureau this morning," she swallowed. "Please tell me it's not her blood." Could he hide the honest truths to this? He grasped the feather tightly until his fingers were white then stored it in his pouch.

"Thank you Dalal. It's best that I go off and find what has become of Sarraf." She nodded her head gravely and began to cry again.

"Thank you Altair, I hope you find her alive and well." She stood in the center of the room watching him leave the Bureau. Altair stood on the building overlooking the vast city that was Jerusalem. The sun never shined quite so brightly like this before. It was as though summer had returned to the city for there was not a rain cloud in sight. He saw the palm trees waxy, emerald color shine off in the distance mingled in the buildings and people. Today was the perfect day relax and enjoy livng. Today was the perfect day for a public execution.

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*I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm so excited because it's finally all coming together! Eeek! Your support means so much to me and I'm sorry that school has been getting in the way from me updating this story! Thank you for taking your time to read my story my Beautiful Souls~MissKayoko*