A/N: As promised, an earlier update! Can we do it again ;)?
Chapter 37: Explanations
The shock on Damon's face was priceless. He was utterly speechless.
"Y-You do?" he managed to stutter, sounding - and feeling - breathless.
He'd already lost all hopes of her ever remembering.
Elena nodded, mouth drawn into a tight line. Damon closed his eyes, taking deep, calming breaths. When he trusted his voice not to break, he said, "I suppose you want an explanation?"
"I do, yes." Elena's face was tight, but her voice was soft.
"What do you remember exactly?
"Everything. The day we met, every one of our dates, our first kiss, when you played for me, and the rest. I even remember the hospital... you cried... But I don't remember what happened."
Elena looked into Damon's eyes, the question clear in her expression. What happened?
"Remember when I was away for three months? When I was held captive?"
"How could I forget?"
"I went to see an old witch. She's a relative of Bonnie's. A very distant relative, and a friend of Bree's. Well, back when I didn't feel anything, I killed her boyfriend. And ever since that, she's had a vendetta against me. When she found out I'd found you, she wanted to take that peace, that happiness away from me. So she did the worst thing possible. She made you forget everything we had. But I remembered it all. The hardest part of it all was seeing you, and having to say goodbye over and over again. When I simply couldn't take it anymore, I did what I do best..." Damon lifted his pained gaze to Elena's. he shrugged. "I turned my feelings off again and pretended I forgot too. But you have no idea how it was all eating me from the inside, crawling, twisting, making it so painful for me to live." He paused for a moment, taking a few ragged breaths. Elena was nearly tearing up.
"And when Stefan came back, I wanted to hurt him as bad as I'd been hurt. I wanted someone to know what it felt like. And, well, you know the rest."
"So, a witch made me forget, but you remembered all this time?" Elena's voice was trembling.
"Yeah." So was Damon's.
"Oh my god. Why didn't you tell me anything?"
"Would you have believed me? And besides, you were with Stefan."
"When was it all?"
"Us? Just before your parents died. We were together for two months. I had to compel Jeremy to forget me. That was painful as hell, too. Maybe that's why he's so comfortable around me. He already knew me once. We were actually friends." Damon chuckled to himself. Elena smiled through her tears.
"Wow," she whispered. "That's... a lot to take in."
She managed a grin at Damon. He smiled in return.
"I know. But I'm glad you remember."
"So, were all of the things I saw real?"
Damon smirked.
"Well, I don't know if all. Maybe you dreamed a little on your own." He winked at Elena, earning a smack in the chest.
"Okay, okay. Tell me what you saw, and I'll tell you if it was real or not."
Elena tried to recall all of those visions.
"Well, I was lying in a hospital bed, you were sitting next to me. You were cry-"
"It was real." He sighed. "It was the night the witch hurt you."
"I saw a nightmare... But no.. you died..."
"I didn't die. I was just petrified. I couldn't move, but I heard, saw and felt everything. I heard your screams when the witch made you forget..." Seemed like the mere thought of the memory had Damon flinching.
"I saw the night we met. You drove me home from Caroline's party after she'd driven off with a guy."
A grin lit up Damon's face.
"Real."
"How did you get there, anyway? It was Caroline's birthday party."
"I pretended to be one of the college guys." Damon chuckled. Elena smiled at that.
"Our first kiss at the beach hut?"
Another grin.
"Real."
"Um..." A grin appeared on Elena's face.
"You threw me in the water, just like yesterday."
Damon's grin matched hers.
"Real."
"Us dancing in the woods behind the boarding house?"
Damon chuckled.
"Real."
"So I figure most of what I saw was real?"
"Yeah... I suppose it was all of those memories coming back to you in bits and pieces."
"But why would they suddenly come back? Why now? Why would I suddenly remember it all?"
Damon's smile was breathtaking.
"Don't they say love is stronger than any spell?"
Elena frowned at him.
"Do you think it's because... I was... falling for you again?"
"Maybe."
Elena grinned.
"Well, I guess my mind forgot you, but my heart never could."
She slid closer to Damon, wrapping her arms around him, leaning her head on his chest.
"You know," Damon suddenly started. "When I returned to Mystic Falls and saw you again, started over, I first wanted you to walk away from me - to walk away and never look back. Because again, you'd seen past the mistakes I'd made. You were ready to let me in again. But I wasn't. Not yet. But then a part of me - a part that was growing bigger with every single moment spent with you - wanted you to stay. I still do, and I'm glad I came back."
"I'm glad you came back, too. But... Why did you do it? Why come back if it hurt so bad?"
"Because I realized having you in my life even without your memories would be better than nothing at all. I needed you to save me again."
"I'm glad I remember it all," Elena said after a moment of silence. Damon smiled.
"I'm glad you remember, too."
Elena closed her eyes, a smile still lingering on her lips.