I wake up from a nightmare. I sit up and assess where I am. I'm back in the training center, in my room. I feel a suffocating pain in my heart. I don't want to get up, I want to die. I can't move, the depression is consuming. I close my eyes and I don't even mind the nightmares that follow. One is haunting, I hear a shrill scream, it doesn't stop. It finally wakes me up but I can still hear it. I jump up and I realize that there is someone screaming on the floor. Whatever or whoever it is, I hope it's a mutt so that it kills me. I walk out and I see a young woman, naked running from one corner of the living room to another. She's soaking wet, she runs right past me but she doesn't seem to see me.
"Stop, stop, stop!" I scream at her. And she finally stops in the middle of the room. She looks like a feral animal. Her eyes are crazed. I notice that her lips are blue and she's trembling. She finally registers that I'm there. She cowers when she sees me.
"Please don't hurt me anymore!" She begs me.
"I'm not going to hurt you." I show her my hands. I walk towards the sofa and pull the blanket that lays on it slowly. "You're cold… may I" I gesture the blanket to her and I approach her. She eyes me wildly. She lets me wrap the blanket around her. Close up I can feel how cold her body is, it's blue, her eyes are blood shot red except for the sea green eyes of hers. "What's your name?" I ask her.
She looks panicked. "I'm – hum – I'm not her.. I'm Annie. Annie." She fumbles through her words.
Annie! Finnick's Annie. "Annie, your Finnick's…" I begin to say but upon hearing me say his name she cheers up. She throws her arms around me. I'm shocked by the feel of her body, it is ice cold. I instinctively feel protective of her and so I wrap my arms around her. "You're freezing!" I grab the blanket again and wrap it around her. "What are you doing here Annie? How did you get here?"
"Hum – the peacekeepers." She whispers shakily to me. "the peacekeepers, they did, they did it, they brought me here. No, no, no not here. Somwhere… hurt me. They did it. " She begins to cry.
"Why? Do you know why?" I ask her.
She pulls away again and an eerie smile reaches her lips. "Because, because, it, it – finally – it started. It's begun so they. They. The peacekeepers, they came for me. Me." She stutters through her muddled mind.
"Annie, I don't understand." I say to her.
"Who, who. Are you?" she whispers.
"I'm Peeta Mellark." I say to her. Her eyes are wide now. She throws her arms around me again.
"no, no, no. Peeta. Peeta…" she whispers but then she sends a shrilling scream. "Run! Run!" I have to pull away from her and cover my ears. I beg her to be quiet.
"Annie what is going on, why are you here? Where is Portia and Haymitch – do you know?" I ask her.
"Haymitch?" She registers the name as if it was familiar to her. "He's not here, no, he's not here. He's with Finnick…. Katniss too." She says to me.
I feel that fear creep up my back again. "Annie did Haymitch die like them?" I ask fearing the answer.
She looks startled when I say this. "No, no Peeta, don't you see" She tells me.
I feel so frustrated and exhausted. I take a deep breath. "No, I don't see."
"My Fin and Kat-niss…" She leans into me and whispers in my ear. "They're alive."
I'm shocked and that fear grows. "No, I'm here. I was the last one standing, that means they're dead." And tears escape me. I'm exhausted.
She grabs my face again. "No Peeta – they're alive. In district 13, with Haymitch. Don't you see it's begun, it started. It's a revolution" she whispers.
I stare at her in disbelief. 'What?" I ask as a fresh badge of tears take over.
"Shh, it's a secret. There are ears in here. She's, she, she is the Mokingjay, she's home in District 13 now."
"You mean District 12?" I ask.
"No, no, Peeta. No. Snow destroyed 12." She tells me and my back doubles over in grief.
"Where's Katniss?" I ask again because I can't believe it.
"Shhh" she whispers and looks around nervously. "She's in district 13. She ran away. Shh. Haymitch and Fin are with her. Shh." She then cradles herself in my arms.
I don't know if it's her ice cold body or the fact that I can't believe this is happening again. Only one sensation comes over me – and it hurts, it hurts worse than anything I ever experienced. They held back from me again and my heart is completely broken. I begin to sob as I hold on to this young mad woman in my arms, who somehow knows more than me. That's all that they left me with. I discover a whole new level of low. I was left behind.