Guest, thank you for your review. I can't tell you if Zoe and Max will get their happy ending, but I think the story will end on a positive note for most of the characters at least. So there's a good chance! They do belong together and they have a scene together in this chapter. Thank you for your review. I'm so glad you're enjoying this fanfic.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, I think Zoe is certainly tempted to change her mind about does have to put her health first and she probably can't see well enough to work. I can't remember if we've seen David with a child (apart from his son), but I think he'd be good with children. Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, I'm glad you think it's human for Amira to be checking out the talent. Ethan and Alicia were both much nicer (and better-suited to each other) when they had their old personalities and I don't feel it's too early or too unrealistic for them to change back at this point. I think Zax are meant to be and it seems so wrong to see them or think of them with other people! Thank you for your review.
totti10, thank you for your review. I love reading your thoughts about Rita and Iain - it's so lovely that you think so deeply and see so much and I'm really relieved the description of emotions being like physical pain worked and wasn't too much of a cliché. A relationship between them probably wouldn't be easy after everything that's happened, but they're so tied up with each other emotionally, it's even harder to see them with someone else.
20BlueRoses, it's certainly possible Max has jumped to conclusions! Zoe certainly didn't say directly that there was someone else. I think Ethan and Alicia could be good friends. When they're being themselves, they're more likeable and actually quite similar in lots of ways. I'm glad you liked the part about Iain's emotions being like physical pain. Lots of people have compared emotional pain to gunshots, but I wanted to do something a bit different with the idea. Thank you for your review.
westlife4ever80, I love David too. He is gentle and very lovely and I'd be more than happy with a nurse like him! I really like that all the nurses are so different, but there is something extra special about David. I wish he'd been given more storylines as he's so interesting. Thank you for your review.
Guest, thank you for your review. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this update, but it's here at least and there is some Zax, so it's definitely not all over for them yet! I hope you enjoy the scene.
"I do want to come back," said Lofty in a low voice.
"Then do it," said Dylan.
Lofty lifted helpless eyes to his face. "I don't know if I can."
"Of course you can!"
"But… the mistake I made."
"It's not likely to happen again," said Dylan. "Of all the people who could be using the defibrillator, you'd actually be one of the ones I trusted most."
Lofty looked confused. "Why?"
"Because if anyone makes a mistake like that, the last thing they want is for it to happen again," said Dylan. "No-one will be more careful than you, Ben."
"But it still happened once," said Lofty.
"Ben. It was an accident that could have happened to any of us," said Dylan. "You could say it happened because you didn't check everyone was clear. You could say it happened because the nurse didn't take responsibility for her safety." He paused. "Or you could say it happened because I made the stupid decision to allow a nurse I knew to have question marks over her competence to help transport a critically-ill patient. I could have demanded the presence of another nurse; I didn't. If you carry any responsibility at all for what happened that day, Ben, you're most certainly not the only one."
Shock filled Lofty's eyes. "Dylan, are you saying you blame yourself for what happened?"
Zoe ran into Connie's room. A moment later, she was joined by two other doctors and a nurse. "Sats are dropping," she informed them. "So's her blood pressure. I'm Dr Hanna from the ED."
"Thank you, doctor: we'll take it from here," said one of the doctors, and started giving orders.
Zoe knew she wasn't wanted or needed, but she didn't want to leave Connie.
"Please, Dr Hanna," said the doctor, gesturing towards the door.
Zoe knew he wouldn't force her to leave. They were all needed to save Connie and it wasn't as though she was causing any trouble. But as she lights flashed on the monitors, the noises increased and the calm voices of the team started to betray agitation, Zoe could bear it no more. She turned and fled from the room, only to find herself caught firmly in someone's arms.
"It's okay."
"Okay?!" said Zoe. "Connie could be about to die: how is it okay? My husband hates me: how is anything okay?"
"Your husband doesn't hate you," said the voice.
Zoe suddenly recognised the arms that were holding her. "Max? What are you…"
"I promised myself I'd never walk away from you again," said Max. "I love you, Zoe. And that means when you need someone, I'm always going to be here. If friends is all that's on offer, then I'll take it."
Zoe held him tightly. "I can't do this now, Max! Connie could be dying."
Max's voice was soft. "I'm just letting you know I'm here."
Zoe held him tightly, straining her ears for something; anything from Connie's room. "Max, if anything happens to her…"
"Then you'll have my support," said Max. "Always. But Mrs Beauchamp is the strongest person I know, bar one. She's healthy and determined and she's no quitter. Someone like her will always have a chance."
Cal held Matilda close to him and kissed her again before looking up at Lily and Louise. "So, what's the plan?"
He knew what he wanted the plan to be. But Louise and Lily were right: even though Matilda was his in every way that mattered, he had no right to take her home with him.
"We need to wait until she's able to receive cardiac catheterisation," said Lily. "Once that has been done, she will probably be free to go home. If we have not heard from her family by then, the correct thing to do is to inform social services."
"However, when Dr Chao asked Dr Knight for his opinion as a more senior doctor," said Louise, "he recognised Matilda and she seemed instantly comfortable with him. She is only a baby and she's been through a terrible ordeal. It seems sensible for her to stay with someone she knows."
"The fact Dr Knight is also a qualified doctor and experienced in dealing with emergency situations is another reason for allowing a child with a heart condition to remain with him," said Lily. She frowned. "But it would make sense for a woman to be there too. Louise, would you like to go home with Cal and share the caregiving duties?"
Cal looked at Louise rather doubtfully, but her face had lit up.
"I would love to help look after Matilda," she said. "I know it sounds silly, but we have been through so much together. I feel connected to Matilda now."
Cal smiled. "I know that feeling very well."
"Then that is settled," said Lily, a look of satisfaction on her face. "All I ask is that I am permitted to visit."
"Yes, of course," said Cal, really quite bewildered now. Neither Lily nor Louise had showed any particular interest in Matilda before, yet there was no doubt they loved his little girl. And that made him even more proud.
Alicia lay, half-dozing, warmed by the feel of Ethan's hand in hers. He'd been so kind. So supportive. So understanding. They had more in common than ever she'd realised. He understood what she'd done and why.
She could hardly believe she'd even told him, but it seemed natural after what he'd said to her.
He was a very special man.
Something twisted inside her and the pain caused her to gasp aloud.
"Alicia, are you okay?" Ethan's voice was anxious.
"Yes, I'm fine," replied Alicia, her voice catching. She couldn't tell him what she was thinking. He wanted her to be with Cal and he'd be angry on his brother's behalf that she'd changed her mind.
Ethan's voice sounded closer now. "Are you sure?"
Alicia opened her eyes to find his face close to hers. Despite the sadness inside her, she found herself smiling.
Ethan smiled back.
"You're still here," whispered Alicia, not knowing what else to say.
"I promised, didn't I?" said Ethan gently. "And I'm sure Cal will be here soon. He's probably caught up in something and he can't look at his phone. Or perhaps he's put it down somewhere and forgotten about it. That would be like Cal. Oh, not that he's always forgetful. He never forgets to take his girlfriends out on dates."
Alicia closed her eyes again. The worst of it was, Ethan had liked her. Despite his shyness, he'd liked her enough to try to talk to her in the pub. He'd cared enough to go after her and offer support when she was upset about Grace. He'd tried to comfort her when she was hurt. When she'd said she preferred Cal, he'd told her Cal would like her too.
What have I done?
She'd pushed him away, again and again. She'd hurt his feelings. And now he was happy for her to be with Cal because he didn't want her anymore.
"Please don't cry." Ethan's voice was tremulous. His finger brushed across Alicia's cheek.
"I'm sorry, Ethan," said Alicia, looking up at him. "I'm so sorry."
"What for?" said Ethan kindly. "You've done nothing you need to apologise for, Alicia."
"But I rejected you," said Alicia. "I told you I wanted Cal."
Ethan used a tissue to wipe her tears this time. She was sad. She loved the gentleness of his fingers.
"Alicia, you can't help preferring Cal to me. You can't help your feelings and almost every girl does prefer Cal! You had every reason to be rude after what I said to you and when you were hurt, you didn't know if we would ever escape. You didn't want to waste your time on lies."
Alicia felt more tears falling. "I don't want to waste any time on lies now either. Ethan…"
"Yes?"
"I've made a terrible mistake."
The doors of Resus swung back and forth, affording Rita glimpses of Iain walking away.
He didn't look back. But why would he?
It's not you, Iain! It's me! she mentally screamed after him.
It was a cliché, but it was true. There was nothing wrong with Iain. Nothing that time and therapy wouldn't help him to fix.
Whereas Rita…
…but was she really so different? Iain hadn't seemed to think so. He thought she'd been through something terrible too.
Rita glanced at Dylan and Lofty. She had a feeling they wouldn't even notice if she left. She waited for a moment, torn between the feeling she ought to be here in case Lofty needed help and her need to go after Iain and explain properly.
She came to a decision.
Robyn didn't know how much longer she could bear it. The waiting. The not knowing. She longed to talk to Glen and knew he wouldn't be jealous of Lofty – on the contrary, he'd said he wanted to meet him. But she couldn't bother him in the middle of the night. When Glen was asleep and dreaming, he was well. Much as Robyn wanted him to take advantage of every waking hour, she didn't want to disturb the times when he felt all right.
She looked up as she heard voices and turned away guiltily when she saw the group of people coming towards them. Noel, Amira, David, Kai and his parents. Kai's dad had his arm around Kai's shoulders and his mum was holding his hand tightly.
"We've got to remember what's important," Kai's dad was saying. "We need to think about the good things in our lives and not waste any more time hating each other. Our son is the person who matters most."
"I agree," said Kai's mum, much to Robyn's relief. "Whatever we think of each other, we need to do our best for him."
Kai turned and looked at Robyn and she quickly turned away, overwhelmed with pain and guilt. "Can I tell Nurse Miller now?"
"Of course," said David's quiet voice.
Robyn heard running feet, then she had no choice but to look at him.
"Is your friend called Lofty?"
Robyn nodded. "Yes. Yes, he is."
"I talked to him," said Kai. "He said he was fine and he doesn't want you to worry. He isn't badly hurt, but he has to stay in Resus just in case."
Robyn stared at him in disbelief. She'd been so cruel to him. She'd frightened him. She'd made him hate himself even more. And now he was telling her what she most wanted to know?
"I think he'd like to see you," added Amira.
Robyn gave Kai a big hug. "Thank you, Kai. I hope you'll be okay. You're a bigger, better, braver person than me and you deserve to get through this. Thank you for coming to tell me."