Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and only Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story. Stalker, his Care Bear, Princess Bree, and the twins belong to me though, so please respect.
A/N: So I'm updating this while on vacay in North Carolina and I need to apologize to about 20 readers from the last chapter because I have not gotten a chance to reply to their reviews but FFn was being a be'otch the day I tried to tackle all of them. I'm internet-less here in the mountains and only have a few minutes here in the coffee shop in town to update for you guys. I have every intention on replying to those reviews as soon as I make it to my dads in a few days. Till then, please don't hold it against me. ;)
One Plus One Equals Three
Chapter 37
~*Edward*~
A million things ran through my mind while I ran around our bedroom looking for the hospital bag Bella and I had packed together in preparation for this exact moment. I knew I should have made sure all this shit was ready to go before I told her about her goddamn ex but she'd known something was wrong as soon as our eyes had met.
Motherfucker would screw things up even when he was unconscious.
Stop being a prick, Cullen. The kid is laying in a hospital bed somewhere fighting for his life, no reason to tear him down any further.
Finally someone answered the phone at Dr. Young's office and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Hi, this is Edward Cullen. My wife's water just broke. We're at our home but I will be bringing her to Mount Sinai now by taxi. Can you please let Dr. Young know to meet us there?" I requested as calmly as I could into the receiver.
"Of course, Mr. Cullen. She's already grabbing her things, she will meet you there."
"Thank you so much," I answered, feeling a little less anxious now that the call was taken care of and the doctor was on her way.
Looks like our babies will be born New Yorkers after all, I thought to myself as the office manager on the line wished us luck. I hung up after thanking her and grabbed the hospital bag from under the bed after suddenly remembering that's where we had stored it only two nights ago.
It's funny how quickly your mind can go blank the moment your wife tells you she's going into labor.
"Okay, baby. Dr. Young is on her way and a cab is waiting for us downstairs. Bree, honey lets get going," I called out to my daughter who was already running back into the room with Bella's jacket in her arms.
"Here you go, Momma Bella. Time to get you dressed. Let's get going, let's get going!" Bree sang without a care in the world in her melodramatic tone. She had no idea how monumental this moment really was and I could tell her calm, collected demeanor was actually helping keep my Bella relaxed. I was grateful to have her as a distraction.
"Here, baby. Let me help you up," I offered then reached down with both my hands to lift Bella up from the sofa so that I could help her into her oversized hoody. "Are you alright? Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable? Do we have everything we need?" I asked, slightly panicking again as I saw her wince over a contraction.
"I'm fine, really. Let's just head down stairs," she insisted and forced a smile. I knew her head was still spinning over the news that had brought all this on, but there was nothing I could do about that now. I'd taken all the precautions. I'd phoned the doctor ahead of time and informed her of the situation as soon as Jasper had phoned me about Jacob. After much deliberation I had decided I needed to tell Bella myself before she found out someplace else. She was far enough along in her pregnancy that I knew if the worst case scenario did arise, she and the babies would be alright.
"Edward, we're going to see them soon," she smiled looking up into my eyes with a tiny lip quiver.
"We are," I whispered back before leaning in to kiss the top of her head just as Bree began singing a song about 'babies coming to town'.
Our babies would be here soon and we would be one step closer to certainty. I could barely wait to hold them in my arms, to take care of them, and to introduce myself to them as their father.
After arriving at the hospital I was thankful to see my mother already waiting for us outside the emergency room entrance. I'd sent her a quick text on our way to the cab and she had promised she would be here as soon as possible to help with Bree. She had kept her word and I couldn't help but smile at her grin.
"Oh, darlings. What an exciting day! Are you ready to meet your son and daughter?" She asked as soon as we were close by.
"I don't think we have much of a choice," my girl spoke up and squeezed my arm with her hand firmly, no doubt feeling another contraction.
"Bree, why don't you come with me to get a candy bar at the gift shop? Let's allow daddy and momma Bella get settled in," she suggested to my daughter who was busy tracing the lettering on the sign beside the double doors. "Text me when you get in a room or if you need me," she added while giving us both a hug.
"You're going to do great," she assured my panicked looking wife.
I grinned watching their exchange and took Bella by the arm to help guide her inside so that we could check in. Dr. Young was already waiting with a huge smile on her face.
"I suppose it's slightly selfish of me to be excited this happened while you were in town. I know how badly you wanted to carry them for at least another week Bella," she said greeting us with a light hug and shoulder squeeze.
"If it had to happen, I'm glad it's happened here," Bella replied back then took a seat into the wheelchair a nurse had been standing by with.
"Alright, let's get you upstairs so we can take a look and see just what kind of progress we've made." Dr. Young nodded her head towards the elevators to direct the nurse to start pushing Bella forward and I took in another deep breath feeling the reality of everything hit me all at once.
This was it. This was the day we'd been waiting for and I could hardly believe we were really standing here about to get things started.
"How's our father-to-be holding up?" The doctor asked switching her attention to me now.
"Fine. Though I'll be better once we know everything is okay and we're ready to do this," I answered honestly with a squeeze to Bella's shoulder. Dr. Young nodded her head and offered me a smile as she pushed the button on the elevator that would take us up to the floor where my son and daughter would be brought into the world.
I pulled my surgical mask from my face and ran my hand through my hair, realizing that the worst had yet to come. Bella was being a trooper but she was in a lot of pain and I could barely stand seeing her in such a state when there was nothing I could do to relieve any of it. Dr. Young had assured me she was doing good, that everything was as it should be, and that it was just up to Bella to do the pushing now that she was fully dilated. We'd taken a break so Bella could mentally prepare, and so that I could run out to fill everyone in on Bella's progress and where we were at.
"Bro! What's going on? How is she? Are they here yet?" Emmett was instantly asking as I'd stepped into the waiting room.
Charlie and Jasper were on their feet too. Bella's father looked an absolute mess and for a moment I smiled at the sight. It was nice remembering I wasn't the only one in freak out panic mode. I was doing my best to hide that, though. Bella didn't need to see me anxious, but when Dr. Young checked her blood pressure and gave me a worried look, I knew it was elevated and that we needed to be careful the further along we got into her labor.
"We're, um… she's… it's about time to start the hard part," I informed them. "She's ready and doing good," I explained further, running my hands through my hair mechanically.
"Is there anything we can do?" My mom requested while running her own hand down my arm, no doubt trying to sooth me.
"Nope, but um, if Bree gets impatient can you get her home? She's never liked hospitals much."
"She's doing okay for now. Your friends here are good company, and Jasper has promised to take her down for ice-cream just as soon as we heard something from you," she said to me while I looked over at my little girl coloring on the floor underneath the hospital waiting room's chairs in the far corner of the room.
"Does she even realize what's happening yet?" I asked hesitantly.
"Oh she knows. She's been working on her own doodles for them, just like her momma Bella's drawings," Charlie spoke up with a smile. I grinned in return and nodded my head again before taking in a deep breath and exhaling slowly.
"Jasper, did you get a hold of Alice?"
"Yeah, she's on the next flight back. She should be here by tomorrow afternoon," he answered nervously. He knew this news would bum Bella out, but we'd done all we could do.
"That's better than tomorrow night," I replied and shot him a look, letting him know I appreciated him making the call and getting her here. "I should get back. Keep your phones on you. I'll be in touch," I told them before walking over to give Bree her own special update.
"Hi, princess. How are you doing?" I asked kneeling down to talk to her under the chairs.
"Good, daddy. I doodled. For baby A and baby B." She tapped her paper with her blue crayon several times without much purpose and I smiled looking down at her abstract drawings.
"They will love them, honey. Listen, momma Bella is doing good and your brother and sister are almost here. I'm going to go help, but whenever you're ready to go home just tell Fairy Grandmother, okay?" I informed her then smoother her hair back at the top of her head.
"Yes daddy, you go. I stay. Go, go!" She insisted then shooed me away with a brush of her tiny hand. I smiled and stood back up then gave the rest of my friends and family one final wave before heading back down the corridor to where my family would be growing by two very shortly.
Bella had been pushing for the last two hours and I could tell she was beyond exhausted. I had no idea how much longer she'd be able to continue before she'd have to throw the towel in and agree to the cesarean. It wasn't what she wanted, though. She didn't want to have weeks of recovery, she wanted to be back on her feet tomorrow and she'd made that abundantly clear during all of our visits with both of our doctors.
"You're doing good, baby. Really good," I assured her, stealing a glance at the doctors in the corner of the room whispering about something with the nurses. "I'll be right back. I'm going to go see what the doctor thinks, alright?" I asked her then dabbed her forehead with the towel I had dampened with cool water.
She nodded her head and closed her eyes, focusing on the rhythm of her breathing and I quickly left her side to make my way over to the specialists.
"How is she holding up doctor?" I asked silently after I'd joined their huddle.
"We're concerned about baby B's heart rate. It's elevated quite a bit and Bella's blood pressure continues to rise as well as a slight fever. If she can't get the first baby out in the next, oh… we're thinking fifteen minutes tops, we're going to have no choice but to do the c-section. I'm sorry, Edward. I know it's not what she wanted but we have to keep their safety in mind," Dr. Young explained with a sorrowful look of defeat.
"She still has fifteen minutes then. Should I tell her that or should we avoid her finding out she's on a time limit now?" I asked glancing at her from the corner of my eye. I could tell she was watching us so I was trying my best to not give anything away.
"You can tell her we're getting closer to the point where we will have to go in, but don't worry her with the amount of time. Just motivate her to really give it her all in these next few pushes," the doctor suggested then walked with me over towards Bella.
I did exactly what she had advised and took my girls hand into my own while she prepared herself for the next round of pushes.
"You can do this, baby. I know you can," I whispered into her ear and listened as the doctor prompted her to start the sequence we'd been working on for the last two hours.
"Oh! I see a head, Bella. This is great. I need you to push just like that again. Are you ready?" The doctor asked sounding excited, then shot me a thumbs up before ducking her head back behind the draped gown over Bella's lap.
"I can do it," she replied through clenched teeth and became silent again while her limbs began to shake over the force she was exerting to push our first baby out.
Ten seconds later I heard the sound that we had been waiting for. A crying baby, wailing on its newly, independently functioning lungs.
"Wow. That's loud," Bella joked closing her eyes and smiling after running her hand through her sweat drenched hair that had fallen in front of her.
"This must be baby A. Seems like they're coming out in alphabetical order, Bella," Dr. Young announced as she carried our son over to be weighed on the scale. She gestured for me to join her so I gave Bella a quick kiss and made my way over to the table to see my son for the very first time. "Here he is. Would you like to do the honors?" She asked holding a pair of surgical scissors towards me so that I could cut the umbilical cord. I nodded and positioned myself to complete the task, then handed them back to her while another nurse began to towel him off as his loud cries settled into tiny yelps.
"Is he perfect?" Bella called from the other side of the room.
"Unbelievably perfect," I told her, taking his tiny hand into my own to say hello. He squeezed my finger almost instantly and I took in a deep breath realizing that this was the moment I'd been waiting to experience for the last nine months of my life. Suddenly, here it was. Here he was. As tiny as could be but still already letting the world know that he had indeed arrived.
"Baby A weighs in at six pounds, seven ounces." the nurse spoke up loud enough for Bella to hear.
"Is that okay? Is that an okay weight for him?" She asked worriedly.
"It's fine, Bella. Now relax, we still have more to do. It's always easier with the second one though, so that's the good news. Just a few more pushes and we should be all finished," the doctor informed her, motioning for me to take my place beside her once again.
On the doctor's count she began pushing again right away, no doubt ready to get our baby girl out so she could finally get some real rest.
On the third set of pushes Bella let out a loud scream then fell back against the mattress breathing heavily while the doctor exclaimed that our baby girl had finally arrived and that Bella's job was over for the time being. We both looked at each other smiling, a tiny tear falling from her eye while she whispered the words I love you to me and I quickly returned the promise.
"Edward, why isn't she crying? She… she hasn't made a sound."
I realized Bella was right and stood up to walk over to the same table they had brought my son to only minutes before.
"Is she okay?" I asked hesitantly while trying to see over their shoulders but no one was paying much attention to me. I felt as though my world was being torn out from underneath me. "Can someone please talk to me? What's going on?" I raised my voice loud enough to catch their attention.
"She's fine, Mr. Cullen. She's just got some fluid in her lungs. We got it all cleared out now," a nurse turned to tell me just as I heard my little girl's tiny cries filling the room. I let out a relieved cry of my own and thanked them for their speedy work then rushed over to let Bella know our baby B was okay and the cries she was hearing now belonged to our newest princess.
She let out her own happy cry and bit on her bottom lip then shook her head while trying to sit up again so she could see across the room where they were still attending to our baby girl.
"Edward, if you'd like, we can use you over here again," Dr. Young called to me then snapped the surgical scissors opened and closed in front of her with a smile. I nodded and returned to the table then said a quiet hello to the stubborn little one who had given us so much uncertainty over the last few months.
"How big?" Bella asked as I walked away from her, again her only thoughts still on the health of our baby girl.
"Five pounds, nine ounces. A bit of a runt but she's going to be fine, Bella," Dr. Young promised us and shot my girl a wink from across the room.
"Hey there," I whispered softly noticing right away the full head of dark hair she already had, as well as her perfect little button nose. She reminded me so much of Bella, it was unbelievable. I wondered if Bella would notice the similarities as well but when I turned around I found my girl already sleeping peacefully with a satisfied smile on her face.
She had done an incredible job and deserved her rest. I knew she'd only sleep long enough for her body to regain some energy and that she'd awake again soon. For now though, I would enjoy my own time getting to know the two little beings that had permanently taken residence in my heart.
My life was entirely complete and no matter what we found out tomorrow when the paternity test came back, I knew I would forever call this little girl my daughter.
I tapped lightly at the door then pushed it open with my hip while carrying our son into the room to see his mother properly for the first time. Looking down at him I could feel the love flooding my heart again instantly. He would definitely carry the Cullen family jaw line and chin. I'd caught my mother beaming at him through the window in the observation room over it.
Bella was beaming as soon as she laid her eyes on him when we'd entered the room together. She'd managed to sleep for almost an hour before waking up pleading that she see her infants at once. I was honestly shocked she was already able to keep her eyes open after the performance she had given, but my wife was a trooper and I knew she wouldn't be able to truly rest until she held both of our babies in her arms and counted all their fingers and toes.
"He's absolutely perfect," she whispered while smoothing her finger across his cheek before taking his tiny hand into her own.
"Of course he is. He came from us," I declared in return and she looked up with a smile while the tears glimmered in her softened brown eyes. I gently placed him into her arms after she'd sat herself up and took my seat beside them on the edge of her bed.
"I mean, no, he's really unbelievably perfect. Look at how much hair he has already. We can give him a little mini bouffant."
I laughed at her suggestion and smoothed our son's auburn colored hair back on his head while his tiny lips mouthed at the air around him.
"How is Madison?" She asked with a sudden smirk.
"Madison?" I could feel my own smile double.
"Madison Renee Cullen. Our daughter," she replied in a pleased tone. I nodded my head instantly loving the sound of it.
"She's doing better. They're bringing her back in a few minutes, they wanted you to try and feed our son here first while they finished up some tests," I told her with a raised eyebrow. I was waiting to hear the name she had chosen for our baby A.
"Do you have any recommendations?" She asked reluctantly. I could tell she'd already had something in mind and was really only wanting to entertain me with the idea that I had any actual input.
"Let's see… to go with Madison. Hm, how about… Mason?"
She sucked back a laugh and shook her head in defiance immediately.
"We are not giving our twins names that can be sung in a nursery rhyme and have a two letter difference between them, Edward."
"Why not? Bree would love it! Think of the songs she could write!" I argued, still grinning playfully. It was nice to see her laugh. I wanted to enjoy the moment before the rest of our reality hit her again.
Bella looked absolutely adamant against the name I had suggested so I thought for a few seconds before she threatened me again with another warning glare. "Nope. Second suggestion please," she pushed after giving me some time. "We're not giving them names that can be served with their father's cheese. I'm sorry."
"Aidan then. Aidan Carlisle Cullen," I challenged, already knowing she'd love it. I'd heard her throw the name around with Alice a few times when they were working on the nursery back in California. I knew it was a winner.
Her smile answered me right away and she nodded her head then returned her stare down at his tiny face while she continued to trace his features with her finger tip.
"It still kind of goes together, though. They could get teased."
"It works. Perfect names. If anyone tries to mess with my kids they'll have to answer to me," I promised her before leaning down to kiss the top of her head. She'd done an amazing job and I was beyond proud of her. If I was her I'd be begging for sleep. She looked like she could stay awake for days looking down at our brand new little one after only an hour's worth of a nap.
I'd almost forgotten what it was like. Seeing them for the first time. Witnessing the miracle of life happening right before your eyes. Seeing it happen twice only minutes apart had been absolutely amazing and I would forever hold unquestionable admiration for my wife and what she was capable of doing.
"Have you really gotten to see her yet, have you held her?" She asked quietly, returning the subject back to our little girl.
"Yes, she's equally as perfect. They just wanted to run a few tests, everything checked out fine. You feed Aidan and I'll go check on her. I'll introduce her to the gang and bring her back, yeah?"
"Deal. Who all is here?" Bella asked, a sleepy yawn sneaking past her parted lips. Her exhaustion was starting to catch up with her again.
"Last time I checked, my mom, Bree, Charlie, Jasper and Emmett. Alice will be here by tomorrow afternoon and Sam is around here someplace."
"Oh, good. Okay. I'd like to see everyone, too. I want to thank them for coming," she answered right as the nurse came in to guide her through the first steps of breast feeding.
I nodded my head and kissed her again before leaving her behind to tend to the newest princess of the family. I rounded the corner to the viewing windows and smiled seeing everyone's faces pressed against the glass like hypnotized fools.
"So what do you think?" I asked, unable to hide my own excitement.
My mother was instantly running to pull me in for a hug. "Oh, Edward. She's beautiful! How are Bella and the little man?"
"Bella is great, she's feeding Aidan now," I informed them, waiting for the first reactions to the name of our son.
"Aidan?" Everyone repeated almost instantly.
"Aidan Carlisle Cullen," I added, creating an even tighter grasp around me from my mother.
"Oh, honey! I love it. It's perfect. Your father would be so happy," she whispered softly while her tears began falling onto my shoulder. I smiled from behind her and returned the hug, then shot my buddies a thumbs up a few feet down the corridor.
"She's a cutie. I think you'll have your work cut out for you, man. I mean once she hits dating age…" Emmett teased with a jab to my shoulder after I'd made my way over to them.
"Yeah well, that's twenty one years away so I'm good," I returned with a smirk then glanced at my little girl through the window. She was squirming all around while the nurses rubbed her down with a wet sponge.
"So what are you naming her? Princess?" Jasper asked with a chuckle.
"No, Bree would be beyond jealous if we gave her that for a name." I replied smiling at my other little girl doing twirls down at the end of the hallway all by herself, seemingly without a care in the world to what was going on a few feet away from her.
"Her name is Madison. Madison Renee Cullen."
"Jumping the gun there with the last name aren't you?" Emmett asked, not meaning to sound like a prick, but doing so anyways. I was thankful when my mom hit him upside the head for me.
"She will be a Cullen," she warned my best friend and squeezed my arm reassuringly.
I noticed Charlie off to the side by himself, watching while they lifted Madison up to rub some baby shampoo into her… wait… was that… is that… "Her hair has a slight reddish tint to it too, doesn't it?" I asked breathlessly.
"Yup," all four replied in unison with four smiles shining back at me.
"I wouldn't bust your balls if I wasn't already sure she was yours, man." Emmett slapped my back jokingly. I smiled and nodded, placing my own hand over Charlie's shoulder.
"Bella is doing good. She'd like to see all of you when she finishes up feeding them, if you can stick around a little while longer?" I informed them, still captivated by my newest daughter while her tiny arms flailed out at her sides. She was not enjoying her first hair-washing experience.
If Bella were watching she'd be worried that they were being far too rough with her, but I trusted that they knew what they were doing. I really wished I could do something about her crying, though. The tiny sounds were killing me from the other side of the window pane.
"I'm going to go see if I can help," I told them and added that I'd be back in a little while to bring them to Bella's room.
"Daddy. Momma Bella is good, yes?" Bree asked after I'd walked up to her and she'd stopped her spinning and humming.
"Yes, momma Bella is good. So are your baby brother and sister. Did you see them yet? Through the window?"
"I did. They're little. Much-more smaller than my baby A and baby B at home," she declared instantly then crossed her arms in front of her with a pout.
"What's the matter princess?" I asked trying to hide my smirk. I knew this was Bree getting serious and I need to respect that.
"It's going to be so long before we can play dress up."
I smiled and hugged her to me. "It will be a little while, but you can help momma Bella dress them up until then."
"We will call them what?" Bree asked looking into my eyes for a split second two times before twirling out of my grasp again.
"Your sister is named Madison."
"Like the street here in the big city?"
"Most likely, knowing your clever momma Bella." I chuckled then took her hand to bring her back over towards my mother who stood waiting to take her hand from mine.
"And baby B will be who? Wally?"
"Your baby brother's name is Aidan," I announced proudly with a laugh, realizing she was most likely thinking of Wall Street when she had suggested her brothers name. I nudged the top of her head with the palm of my hand knowing it would send her into a fit of giggles and picked her up one time to spin her around before placing her back on her feet to start prancing around us in circles again.
"Madison-and-Aidan… when-can-I-play-with-them?" Bree began singing while jumping around everyone.
"Soon baby, now stay here with Fairy Grandmother and I'm going to go check on everyone and then you can come back to say hello," I informed her and shot my mom and Charlie a wink before telling them I'd be back in about twenty minutes.
I wanted to get back to my girl but before I could cross through the double doors that would bring me back to her room I turned back around knowing there was something I needed to ask because she would be asking me herself as soon as I'd returned to her.
"Jasper, any new news on Jacob?" I asked after turning around. He grimaced and shook his head no, then shifted his weight nervously.
"No change. He's still down in ICU. He had some major swelling in his brain so they had to put him into a medical induced coma, but they're hoping for the best. I should actually go sit with Sam and see if there have been any changes. I'll be back in a bit," he told me solemnly.
I nodded and took in a deep breath, hoping that Bella would be too busy with the excitement of our new babies to think about the unpleasant things that were currently lingering, even though deep down I knew better.
Even if she didn't want to think about him, she would.
That, unfortunately, was the effect Jacob Black had on her.
In sickness and in health.
~~*Bella*~~
I was a mother. A mother of two brand new beautiful babies who would be my everything until the day I would stop breathing. It still seemed insane to me, even as I glanced down at my baby boy sleeping safely in my arms from the hospital room.
I'd just finished feeding Aidan when Edward came back into the room with our little Madison tucked safely in his arms. She was wearing a pink knit cap over her dark curls and the first thing I did when he handed her to me after the big baby swap was remove the hideous thing from her head.
Then I gasped.
"Her hair." Were my eyes deceiving me?
"I know. I'd say that's definitely an auburn tint," Edward replied back with a contagious smile.
"She… she looks just like…"
"You," he finished for me, grinning even wider. "She looks just like you, Bella."
He was right, but I was terrified to admit that I had been wrong about what I had seen in her ultrasound photo only a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure why it scared me, other than the fact that I may be getting excited only to be let down again once the DNA test came back.
"Have they swabbed her yet?" I asked quietly, referring to the test.
"Yeah, it's already on its way to the lab. We should know something by tomorrow afternoon since Dr. Young put a rush on it," my husband informed me as he began rocking Aidan back and forth in his arms.
I looked down at my baby girl again and felt my heart warm instantly. All my worries, all the fears that I would feel nothing when I held her in my arms for the first time had disappeared. She had stolen my heart and I now understood what everyone meant when they said that their lives changed forever the first time they became a parent.
"She's beautiful. Please don't put that stupid hat on her again," I asked jokingly while my fingertip traced her tiny bottom lip. She bit down on her pouting lip instantly and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Uh oh. Looks like she has picked up one of my bad habits already," I giggled feeling a happy tear run down my cheek.
"The first of many I'm sure," Edward teased back blowing kisses at us from his chair a few feet away. "How did the feeding go with Aidan?"
"It was um… an experience," I admitted bashfully.
"It gets easier, don't worry. Jane hated it at first as well."
"I don't hate it," I corrected him, then took in a deep breath. "It's just… something to get used to," I explained carefully. He nodded and took our son's tiny hand into his before bringing it to his lips to kiss.
"You did good momma Bella. Very good," I heard him whisper softly just as he shot me a loving wink. I could feel my cheeks flush and quickly imitated my daughter, biting down on my own bottom lip.
"Where is everyone? I want to introduce them to our motley crew," I spoke up while shifting my weight in the bed underneath me. The hospital gown I was currently sporting was itching the crap out of me but the thought of getting up to change seemed like an impossible mission at the moment so I decided to push myself past the discomfort to save any energy I may have left so that I could say hello to our friends and family.
"I'll go get them in a minute. After you feed Madison," he informed me then asked if I'd be more comfortable if he left the room.
"Seriously, Edward? If I'm doing this breast feeding stuff you better get used to seeing them attached to me on a regular basis," I teased playfully while repositioning myself against the bed to lean forward so I could pull the hospital gown down to start the task of feeding my beautiful baby B. He laughed nervously and shrugged then explained to me that his ex used to have to have her own personal space when she fed Bree as a baby.
"No worries here, as long as you're comfortable with it?" It struck me as being funny that we hadn't discussed any of this before hand. Then again, we weren't exactly expecting them to be here already either.
"I think it's a wonderful thing, and as twisted as it sounds, I could stare at your breasts twenty-four hours a day no matter the situation," he teased with another devilish wink.
"That is slightly twisted, Stalker. Though, they do look pretty good right now without having a baby attached to them," I joked back.
He agreed with me then laughed at the tiny yelp that had come from our son's itty bitty lips before Edward cleared his throat nervously to ask how I was feeling, throwing in a, all things considered, at the end. I knew what he was getting at but before I could answer him I had to take in my own deep breath.
"I'm fine, really, just tired. You can tell me any news you might have about Jake. I'll be okay," I promised him. I was unable to look him in the eyes and I hated myself for that because I wanted him to see me being strong. I was determined to be strong no matter what the news might be.
"Okay… all I know is what Jasper told me. Jake's here… in the ICU unit on the ground floor. They had to put him into a medical induced coma because of his injuries so now they're just waiting to see what happens. Sam and the rest of the band have been down there, except Jazz. He was here helping my mom with Bree. He's actually pretty awesome with her," Edward added at the end. I knew he was hoping it would take away from the heartache I was feeling over the rest of the news.
"Yeah, Jasper will be an amazing father someday," I replied absentmindedly, not really knowing what to say about the update on Jake's condition. "When should we know more?" I asked before I could stop myself.
"I'm not sure. That's all we know so far. Jasper was going to go check it out while I came back here to you so he may know more when he comes in."
I said nothing else, instead I redirected my stare back down to my little girl who was suckling away, feeling my heart flood instantly with a wonderful distraction until the realization hit me that my little girl might never get to meet her biological father, and that I might never get a chance to say goodbye to him either.
Like that tears were suddenly streaming down my face and Edward rushed to my side.
"Baby, it's going to be okay. He's always pulled through. This time will be no different. We have to trust that and continue to hope for the best," he reminded me in my ear while his hand pulled my hair back behind me away from my tear-stricken face. I forced back a sob and tried to slow my breathing down, pulling Madison away so I could hand her over to Edward.
I needed a minute to regain my composure before everyone came in to say hello.
"I'll be okay. I just need to let it all settle," I told him trying to fake a smile. He looked at me with a frown and nodded his head while he stood before me with a baby in each of his arms, both of them cooing and extending their tiny arms in front of them.
"How are mommy, daddy, and the babies doing?" Dr. Young asked coming into the room after a brief knock at the door.
I gave her my best smile and wiped my eyes again then took in a deep breath. "I'm good, we're all fine. Although I was expecting this day to be a little less… drama free?" I replied, using more of a questionable tone than a factual one.
In all honesty I really wasn't sure what I had expected. Either way this day would have been filled with its fair share of drama only I guess I had expected it to come from seeing Jacob hold my baby girl, not because he would be on a different floor in the same hospital fighting for his life.
Dr. Young frowned and nodded, then stepped closer to the monitor beside my bed to no doubt check my own heart rate and then blood pressure. "You did an amazing job, Bella. I'm quite proud of you. I haven't had a multiple birth delivery in sometime where a c-section wasn't needed. You were amazing in there," she said to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Try to not worry about things that are out of your control. I know that doesn't mean much coming from me, but you have two newborns here who need you to focus on them."
I sucked back another breath and closed my eyes to hide the fresh tears while I shook my head obediently.
"Your friends are out in the hallway. I'll tell them to give you two another couple of minutes and then let the nurse know she can show them back. You should get some rest though tonight, you have a lot of sleepless nights coming your way. Take advantage of these next two days in the hospital where you'll have a staff to help you," she suggested before squeezing my shoulder one last time. "You've made my year by giving birth in the city, Bella. I'm really happy I got to see this through to the end."
I smiled a truer smile and thanked her again then brought a tissue to my face to brush the tears away and blow my nose.
"They are beautiful babies, Bella. Absolutely. Congratulations to the both of you."
She gave us one more smile and touched each of our little ones gently, then left the room without much noise since they had both fallen asleep in Edward's arms again.
"I can tell them to come back in a few hours?" Edward offered while setting them each in their bin beside one another.
"No, just give me a few minutes. I don't want to make them come back. How is Bree doing? Is she a mess from being stuck in a hospital all day?"
"No, she's very excited. According to my mother she hasn't stopped moving since we got here, other than to doodle her pictures for her new brother and sister," he answered, taking my hand into his to graze his thumb over the top of mine.
"I just want him to be okay. If anything happens, Edward… I'll just never be able to forgive myself. After what I told his friend… for that to be the last thing Jake heard from me… I just can't get past that," I admitted feeling the traitor tears rise up again. My hormones were out of control but I at least had a good reason for that. It still didn't make it feel any better, though.
"I know, baby. But you can't dwell on that. You were upset. You were angry and Jacob has never made any of this easy on you. You can't take the blame for what happened. It's not fair to you. Everything that has happened, everything, over the last ten months has been his doing. Not yours. You've been nothing but fair with him," he replied firmly while taking my face between his hands after he'd taken a seat on the bed beside me.
I looked into his eyes and felt my bottom lip tremble, then quickly bit down on it hoping to hide my further crumbling state.
"He just needs to be okay. He has to be," I whispered closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath before opening them up to look back into my husband's tortured expression.
"Like Dr. Young said, it's out of your hands. Let's focus on the two miracles lying together over there," he suggested with a head nod towards our sleeping babies.
"I know, you're right… it's just easier said than done. Maybe bringing everyone in will help me forget about it," I said with a sigh.
Edward asked if I was sure and I quickly nodded my head in confirmation again. "Yes, bring them in."
He leaned down to kiss my lips tenderly then whispered a sweet I love you before standing back up to leave the room so that he could find our friends and family.
I leaned over to look into the bin beside my bed that was holding my baby A and baby B, feeling a happier tear slide down my cheek at the sight of them. I'd really done it. I'd managed to give birth to two amazingly perfect babies that had captured my heart instantly and both Edward and Dr. Young were right. I had bigger things to focus on and I needed to find a way to be strong no matter what happened because nothing would change the fact that I was now a mother. With that responsibility came selflessness so this was no time to worry or focus on things that were out of my hands.
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and I called a quiet Come in, then sat up straighter in my bed.
"Momma Bella!" Bree shouted in a loud whisper. You could tell she was trying her very best to keep quiet but it was just too impossible of a task for her. She made her way over to my bed and crawled up beside me, wrapping her tiny arms around my neck to kiss my cheek. I laughed lightly and hugged her back while everyone stood around the room smiling at our exchange. Esme looked taken aback by Bree's reaction towards seeing me which only made me smile more.
"It's just so amazing how connected she is to you, Bella. I'll never get used to it," she whispered after walking to the side of my bed then leaned in to also share a hug with me. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. Somewhat tired," I admitted, hoping they wouldn't notice the puffy eye look I was sporting. I scanned the room for Jasper but noticed he was missing which forced me to take in another deep breath.
"They're pretty perfect Belly… err, I guess I can't call you that anymore huh?" Emmett declared with a quiet chuckle.
"Oh, I'll still have a bit of a belly for a little while longer." I patted my still enlarged but slightly deflated midsection. "I have some heavy duty Pilates to do," I added with my own silent laugh.
"I'm sure you'll be back to your old banging body self in no time," Emmett replied with a hoot, which earned him a jab from my husband.
"That's my wife you're talking about. Watch it," he teased and shot me a wink.
I looked over to find Charlie staring in at my twins sleeping peacefully and quickly suggested he hold one of them.
"No, no. They're sleeping. I don't want to disturb them."
"They're fine Charlie, I promise. Go ahead. They need to get used to being moved around while they sleep," I insisted then motioned for Edward to pick one of them up to hand to my one time boss, now father.
"Take a seat grandpa," Edward added and slapped Charlie's shoulder. He looked uneasy but followed our cues and took a seat in the chair across from my bed while Edward walked towards him with Madison in his arms.
"Wow. She looks just like you, Bells," He instantly announced.
"I see some of my mom in her too."
"Definitely," he whispered, touching the side of her cheek gently.
"Momma Bella, I can hold my prince brother please? Yes?" Bree's voice suddenly whispered beside me loudly. It made me smile to both feel and hear her forced whisper and I patted the space beside me so she could climb up into my bed where we could both hold Aidan together.
Esme was already at work snapping pictures and I was suddenly wishing I had taken the time to run a brush through my hair and applied some lip gloss but forgot all about that as soon as Edward was setting my son into my step daughter's own tiny arms beside me.
"He is very small. He grows fast, though. Prince Aidan will need me for dress up until then. I'll have to teach he and Maddie to dress for success," she said while looking down at him then poked his nose which made him flinch slightly.
We all laughed at Bree's grown up statement knowing she had heard it someplace and had stored it in her memory to use it in a somewhat appropriate context at a later time.
"He will be great. Thank you, momma Bella. For him and for my Maddie," she randomly added then looked up at me with her eyes connecting with mine for a brief moment.
"You are very welcome, baby." I leaned over to kiss the top of her head, sending her legs into a flailing motion over my touch.
"Okay, now Aidan with grandpa Char Char. Yes. We get baby B, my Maddie, now," Bree declared then attempted to lift Aidan up off her lap towards me. I took him with a smile while Edward helped his daughter down off the bed to go stand beside Charlie where she instantly took Madison's hand into her own and whispered something into her ear none of us could hear. Edward and I shared a private look and he mouthed the words, I love you so much, once more. I returned the whisper and handed my son over to Edward's mother for her turn with our little boy.
"He looks so much like you when you were a baby, Edward. I cannot wait to compare baby pictures."
"Oh joy," Edward said sarcastically over the idea of his bare baby bottom photo album making an appearance in the near future.
We all laughed just as Madison let out her own little squeal in reaction to the news.
It was a nice moment, introducing the people closest to me to the two newest members of our family, but in the back of my head my thoughts were still returning to my ex and his condition, and I knew Edward could tell because the look on his face at times was breaking my heart.
You have to do better, Bella. Don't let him worry about you worrying about someone else.
I let out an impulsive yawn then apologized.
"Honey, you just pushed out two babies, no apologies needed. We should probably leave you to get some rest," Esme said while rocking Aidan in her arms.
"I think that's probably a good idea," Edward agreed. He knew me well, and he knew I was reaching my limit with hiding my emotions and my concern for what was taking place somewhere else in the hospital.
"Will you guys come back tomorrow?" I asked hopeful.
"Of course. I'll be back in the morning," Esme promised as she handed my son back to me. I smiled and closed my eyes while she kissed my cheek lovingly.
"I'll bring Aidan his first Yankees cap," Emmett followed up, jabbing Edward's shoulder, knowing he would never allow our son to wear such a thing. Edward was a die-hard Angels fan and he had already made it clear that our son would be too.
"Thank you for coming. All of you," I told them sincerely. Charlie stood and smiled at me then handed Madison over to Edward before making his way towards my bed to give me a small kiss at the top of my head.
"I really am proud of you, kid. You did a fantastic job. Your mom… I wish she could be here, but I know she's looking down right now beaming… and probably doing a new sketch."
I smiled and nodded my head then gave his arm a squeeze. "Thank you for being here, Charlie," I replied again then said one last goodbye to Emmett before they all piled out of the room leaving Edward and I behind.
"My mom is going to take Bree for the night so I can stay here with you."
"I like that idea," I admitted with a smile.
"Try and get some rest while they're sleeping," Edward ordered after taking Aidan from me to lay him back down beside his sister in their crate.
I nodded and yawned again. "I think that's a good idea too." He smiled and shot me a wink, then dimmed the lights at the wall and took his own seat in the chair across from me.
"What, are you going to watch me sleep?" I asked bashfully.
"It's one of my favorite things to do, baby. Deal with it," he teased with a smirk. I laughed and shook my head in refusal then settled down against my pillow, closing my eyes and falling asleep almost instantaneously.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of a small baby cry and felt my lips curl into a grin before I'd even opened my eyes. Edward had done an amazing job of letting me get one last good night's sleep after giving birth to our beautiful babies. I was feeling incredibly well rested and ready to start the day. I was still a bit sore but all I could think about was seeing my babies again and holding them in my arms. That thought alone numbed any pain I was still experiencing.
"Morning," I said lowly after spotting Edward in the corner of the room looking out the window with one of the babies cradled in his arms. I looked towards the bin in search of my other little one before he could reply and smiled at the site of Madison kicking her legs and arms up around her.
"You're awake. Sorry. I was hoping to let you get at least one more hour," he answered and started to make his way to me. I sat up and stretched before reaching out my arms to take Aidan from his grasp.
"I slept like a rock, huh?" I asked shyly.
"I think it was a well earned rest," he replied and leaned in to kiss my lips softly.
I had no idea what time it was so my eyes were quickly searching for a clock in the room even though it didn't take Edward long to realize what it was I was looking for.
"It's almost seven," he answered and took a seat beside me after picking up Madison from where she was laying.
"I'm a terrible mother already. I slept for almost ten hours!"
"And after pushing out two babies naturally it was a deserved sleep, baby. Relax. All you missed were a few diaper changes and some feedings."
"Feedings?"
"The nurses helped me. They took to the bottle right away."
"But I told you I wanted to breast feed!"
"And you will. A few bottles won't hurt them," he insisted calmly then smoothed my hair back behind my ear.
I didn't know why I was feeling so stressed all of the sudden, perhaps it had something to do with me recalling Dr. Young's call late last night that the DNA test results would be in this afternoon. Or maybe it was remembering that my ex was still a few floors below me in ICU while his possible daughter slept in my loving husband's arms.
Everything was bombarding my memories at once as soon as my initial morning happiness had begun to subside and reality became clear again.
"Has there been any new news?" I asked, staring down at Madison from his arms. Her eyes were shut but her arms were still very active in front of her while her fragile fingers grasped around Edward's firmly.
"No, nothing. Still the same. They're running some tests this morning. Alice should be here around eleven, she's coming straight from the airport. My mom is bringing Bree back by around noon today," he told me just as a nurse came in to check on us.
"Ah, nice to see mom up. I hope you had a pleasant sleep. It should be your last for quite some time," she joked kindly and asked how I was feeling, then if I was ready to get up out of bed so she could help me get into the bathroom to take a shower and start my first full day as a brand new mother of two.
"Not just two. Three," I corrected her thinking of Bree's beautiful smile and matter of fact smirk when she had hugged me last night.
"Oh, that's right now," the nurse replied in her foreign sounding accent. "That gorgeous little doll of yours. She's quite the character. Had the whole floor in stitches last night with her rendition of The Lion King," the nurse shared with a smile as she took my son from me so I could get out my bed and begin my quest of feeling human again. "Daddy, do you think you can handle these two alone while I help your wife into the shower for a few minutes?" She asked Edward while I scooted to the edge of the bed.
"Not a problem, nurse Mayra. I've got it all under control," he told her with a grin while bouncing both babies in his arms. I smiled back and leaned in to kiss them both on the top of their heads and then got up onto my feet to follow the nurse into the bathroom.
Yeah… I was definitely still sore, but it could have been worst, I reminded myself. I could have had a c-section and that would have kept me in bed for days. My labor had been a miracle. Dr. Young had said so herself, and I was actually pretty damn proud of what I had accomplished.
After showering I slipped into some lose fitting pajama pants and one of Edward's old t-shirts I liked to wear around the house. I tied my hair back out of my face and applied a little eyeliner under my eyes after brushing my teeth, wanting to feel a little more like a human and not so much like a patient. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and let out a sigh after patting my slightly deflated midsection.
Workouts would start immediately.
I heard some sudden wailing from the other side of the door and cupped my breasts playfully in preparation of using them as ammunition.
"Need some help?" I asked teasing him as I exited the bathroom to find my husband pacing the room back and forth trying to settle our son down.
"I think he's hungry," he replied with a frown.
"I can help with that now that I'm functioning again."
I took Aidan from Edward and carried him over to the chair that was facing the window where the sun was starting to peek through the city skyscrapers then took a seat positioning him so that I could give him what he was wanting. My eyes scanned the outside world while my mouth rose into a smile realizing that my babies were actually born in the city just the way I had hoped.
Funny how some things have a way at working themselves out.
I was in the middle of enjoying my realization when another less comforting thought entered my mind.
No, The universe wouldn't be that cruel.
But I was already fighting back the tears as my brain continued to filter the other thing that still needed to be worked out in my terrible situation.
"Edward, I'd like to go see him."
He already knew I was referring to my ex without me having to call him by his name, "I had a feeling you were going to say that. I'm waiting to hear back from the head nurse to see when we could have that happen," he answered right away from behind me. I closed my eyes to hold the tears in and nodded my head.
As happy as these moments were, holding my newborn child in my arms, my thoughts wouldn't let me forget what was going on some place else in the same building where my history was still fighting for his life.
Even with all the bullshit he had put me through, at one point Jake had been my everything, and the person who had been there for me during some of the darkest times in my life after I'd lost my parents. We'd shared more good memories than bad and because of that I was still having an unbelievably hard time accepting the fact that he might not make it through this.
"Thank you for understanding," I whispered almost inaudibly and smoothed my finger across my son's cheek before my eyes darted to where Madison was moving around from her bed.
"I didn't expect you to not care, Bella. I've never expected that, you know that," Edward kneeled beside me so he could run his own hand across my cheek and cupped my face against his palm. "What ever happens though, I know you'll be strong. You have two very important people who need you to be stronger than you've ever been."
I sucked back a small cry and bit my bottom lip while nodding my head in agreement.
"I know. I will be. I just need to see him. I think it will help. Him and me…" I replied and looked back down at Aidan who was putting himself to sleep while he lay against my breast, suckling away.
"Kid can multitask already, sleeping and eating at the same time. Impressive," Edward teased causing me to laugh.
He always knew how to take my mind off the more uncomfortable things, even if it did only last a few seconds. Those breaks from the bullshit were always appreciated.
We'd had to leave the babies behind while we made our way down to the first floor where ICU was located in the hospital. Edward was walking beside my wheelchair with his hand in mine while nurse Mayra pushed me from behind down the long, brightly lit corridor. Every window we passed I couldn't help but glance into the rooms where there was always someone lying motionless for the most part in their beds while family members stood around looking as though they were on the verge of total breakdowns. I took in a deep breath and felt Edward increase his grasp on my hand and looked up for a brief moment into his eyes until I felt the tears appear in my own.
Once we were standing outside his room Sam and Jasper came out looking completely exhausted, stressed, and disheveled.
"Bella, hi. I'm sorry I haven't made it up to see the babies," Sam started to apologize but I hushed him with my hand.
"It's okay, really. Jake needs you here." I took his hand into mine to give it a squeeze. "What are the doctors saying?" I asked reluctantly while I eyed the curtain in his room that was keeping me from seeing him.
"He broke almost all the bones on the left side of his body and has a nasty skull fracture on the back of his head. They're pretty sure they've stopped the internal bleeding but when they tried to bring him out of the coma this morning, well… he's not really ready to wake up yet is what they're saying," Sam explained.
"So then… he should have woken up but he hasn't? Is that what you're telling me?" I asked with a choked breath.
"Yeah, but the swelling is gone. The doctors say everything is in his favor… that it's all up to him now," Sam replied with a sigh.
"Is that normal?" I asked turning around to question the nurse.
"Head injuries are tricky. It's good that the swelling has gone down," she informed but I could see the worrisome expression hidden on her face.
"I want to talk to him. That's supposed to be helpful right?" I asked to no one in particular.
"I'll wait out here. Sam can you bring her in?" Edward asked taking charge instantly. My friend agreed with a frown and repositioned himself behind me to push me forward into the dark room that was filled with beeping machines and unfriendly looking equipment. The room was so much different from mine a few floors up in the maternity ward. It was the first thing I noticed, partly because I was looking for any kind of a distraction in order to buy me some time before I'd have to see Jake lying in his bed all bandaged up.
When my eyes did see him a soft sob left my lips at the sight of his bruised and swollen face. The entire left side of his body was wrapped with his leg propped up in the air with large metal pins keeping it in place while the monitors beeped beside him in rhythmic pace.
"Oh, Jake." A tear slipped past my eye lid while Sam positioned me next to him so that I could take his hand into mine. The sight of him so beat up was almost too much to handle but I pushed past it so I could be the person he needed me to be as he laid unconscious in front of me. "Jake, what did you do? How many times have I told you to look both ways before you cross?" I asked with an inappropriate smile while the tears continued to fall from my face as my thoughts returned to the many moments he and I had joked about crossing the busy city streets and it being like a game of Frogger at times. "You always were in a hurry," I added then brushed my face with my palms hoping to push back the tears.
"I'm going to leave you here, okay? Just let me know when you're done," Sam told me then patted my shoulder affectionately before leaving me behind the curtain and closing the door.
I took another deep breath in then squeezed Jake's right hand once again wishing more than ever that I had some kind of magic healing power to make it all go away.
"You need to wake up, Jake. You can't do this. It's totally not fair. I need you to be here, we all need you to be here. I didn't mean what I said. You're not dead to me. Unfortunately, I think I need to admit that a part of me will never be able to let you go completely. If you wake up Jacob, I promise we can try the friend thing again. I promise. If you can look past everything else and accept things for what they are I will drop the restraining order and we can attempt to be apart of each other's lives again. You just can't leave me like this. There are too many people… there are too many things you still need to do. For you to just give up… that's not the Jake I know. You need to be around when the album comes out. I need to be able to thank you for whatever you've done for me and the babies with the release of your music… I'm so sorry for what I said to your friend yesterday morning. If there is anything I could take back it would be those words. Jake please… please, you need to wake up," I whispered the end after I leaned my lips against his ear to promise him once more that things could change, and that we could find away to be friends.
I leaned my forehead against his arm and let my tears continue to fall while my hand clenched his own palm firmly against mine.
Seeing him so life less… it had hit me much harder than I had anticipated and I quickly had to remind myself who was waiting for me upstairs, the two little beings who needed me to be tough for them too because they were the most important things in my life now.
"The babies are here, Jake. They're here and they're amazing, and if you don't wake up you will never get to see that. No matter what happens when the test comes back for Madison… that's her name… my baby girl's name is Madison, and if you don't open your eyes you will never get to meet her. She looks so much like my mom. It's something you have to see," I cried into his shoulder while my eyes scanned the monitors on the other side of his bed praying for a sign that he was responding to my words.
"If you die on me Jake, I will never be able to forgive myself, and I know that's not what you would want. You need to do this for me. If you ever truly loved me, if you ever cared about my wellbeing, you will open your eyes again. Please. I'll be ready to see you when you're ready to come back to us. You have my word," I promised him, brushing the back of my hand across my cheeks, again trying to dry my face. I got up onto my feet so I could lean closer to him and kissed his forehead softly just under the bandages after brushing his hair back out of the way. I kept my hand against his cheek for a few seconds longer while pleading internally for him to open his eyes. He remained motionless though, and I felt my heart fall further into the pit of my stomach.
I sat back down and pulled the curtain back to wave Sam in, turning back around in my chair to give Jake one final forcefully positive smile. "You're going to be okay. You will be because that's what I need you to do in order to make things right and after everything you've put me through I at least deserve this much. You'll do it for me Jake, and for what we once had because you deserve the chance to meet your everything and that person needs to meet you because you have so much to offer them in return. You have so much to live for still. Please do this, Jacob. Please," I begged squeezing his hand once more while Sam stood behind me applying pressure to my shoulder.
"He can hear you, I know it. And he knows you're right. He's going to be okay, Bells. I believe that. The Jake we know wouldn't just give up," Sam assured me then kneeled beside me to wrap his arms around my body for a hug.
"I hope so Sam. I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't recover," I admitted feeling defeated then asked him to remove me from Jake's bedside because I couldn't stand seeing him like that any longer.
Forty-eight hours ago I had everything I wanted, everything I could dream of having, and then I was given more with the birth of my two healthy babies. But how could I appreciate that when my past might be taken away from me forever in a very permanent way?
How this was fair was beyond me but a part of me couldn't help but wonder if this was what I deserved. That I had asked for and expecting too much and as punishment the universe was now taking something away from me even though it was something I was ready to let go of completely only a few days ago.
It was devastating to me how quickly my feelings could change once things were truly placed into perspective.
If I got another chance I would handle things differently. We would get past this and Jake would be able to move on with his life and find the things he deserved just like I had. He had to survive because I knew deep down he would make someone very happy someday and he had so much living still left to do. So many dreams still to accomplish.
Jacob had to live because if he didn't, that would be something I would carry with me for the rest of my life. No matter what, I would never forgive myself for being the one to say the words that had sent him into darkness forever.
A/N: *Sigh* Started off nice and fluffy and then it got a little tough, ay? Poor Bella, to have such a happy day tainted with so much uncertainty.
So yeah… this isn't the end. There will be one more chapter and then the epi. This was an emotional chapter for me to write, I'm not going to lie. Don't be too hard on Bella for promising Jake a chance to be apart of her life again. Think about it. If you thought you had anything to do with someone lying on their death bed you would promise them the world too, if you thought it would help them fight for their life.
What do we think about the baby names? I spent many hours going back and forth, even joked that I was taking it as serious as I would have if I were naming my own children in RL, lol.
My dear friend Stella has helped create Aidan and Madison's first photos. You can find a link to those on my profile.
Much thanks to my beautiful beta and bestest friend both in the fandom and in RL, CC. Love you lady!
*Time for some contest h00ring.*
Bree would love it if you would head over to the Twilight Avant Garde Awards and cast a vote for her as Best Kid in a fic. She really wants to make up a song about it. *wink*
TMT is also nominated for Best Love Story, and Best Ultimate Fic and I've been nom'd for Best Novice Author if you'd like to cast a vote in those categories as well it would really make me smile.
Just copy paste the link below taking out the (dot)'s and inserting actual .'s
http:/twilightfb-awards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/?zx=4a0e44fdc87cf015
*TMT's also been nominated in the Sparkleteers Awards for Best Fluff and could really use your vote if you've enjoy my fluffy moments mixed in with the angst. *wink*
Just copy paste the link below, again minus the (dot)'s and inserting actual .'s
http:/thesparkleteerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/p/voting(dot)html
You can also find direct links to both contests on my actual profile.
Thanks so so very much for reading the chapter, and my long winded A/N.
*Please review because it makes me smile… and because reviewers get a special sneak peak at the final chapter.*