AN: Hello everyone! As always, italics means they are speaking Elvish. Also, there are some improvements to the story, fixed/changed dialogue, and overall grammatical errors fixed. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 38

After I told my story to King Théoden and talked for a while, I left him to resolve what he do when the beacons were lit. I went to my room since it was in the evening to see that Haldir was waiting for me. Curious as to where I had been, I told him of my interesting proposition and how I told King Théoden most of my story. Haldir sat in one of the chairs in front of the fire as I decided to soak my body in the last of my healing herbs, knowing that there was going to more battles ahead. I wanted to be at my best. I had an old brown tunic on, my body submerged into the tub of warm water.

"And you agreed to this proposition?" Haldir asked as I nodded, swirling the water as I looked over at him. He stared into the fire with a scowl on his face, his blue-grey eyes filled with barely controlled animosity and loathing. I've never seen this side of him and frankly, I didn't like it. I didn't like it one bit.

"Of course I did." I started as I glanced over at him, my eyebrows raised at his tone. "You and I both know that I had help them at Helm's Deep. If I can help them once more, I will gladly do so. I cannot sit idly by and do nothing while we wait for Gandalf, Boromir and Pippin to light the beacons. You know I am not that kind of person." I finished as I watched as his eyes narrowed at my response.

"These men are fortunate you are so forgiving of their slights." He responded, his voice laced with the animosity I saw in his eyes and a new emotion, fear. Pure, raw fear.

"Would you have me ignore these men, who are terrified for what is to come, because someone insulted me?" I asked as I stood from the tub, walking behind the changing screen to peel the wet tunic off my body. "Would you have me do nothing when I could help his men find the courage to live? To fight with all their might for everything they held dear in this world?" I finished as I walked from behind the screen, a dry long loose midnight blue tunic that reached just above my knees on my body. I padded towards him and stood, hands on my hips as I watched him look from the fire to me. When his eyes met mine, the fear and animosity faded slightly.

"No… no… I would not. You are right, my love. You must do what you feel is right." Haldir said as he offered his towards me. My worried filled eyes softened as I placed my hand into his. He pulled me over and gently settled me onto his lap. "Ignore my words. It has been a long day." He finished as one of his wrapped around my waist and the other hand settled onto my exposed knee. I wrapped an arm around his shoulder as my free settled on the crook of his neck. Haldir eyes settled back on the fire as I studied his face. My stomach was uneasy as his eyes flashed between animosity, fear and loathing.

"What can I do to ease your troubles?" I asked as he gazed up at me, my hand tracing his face lightly before my thumb traced the corner of his lips. It was like my touch alone chased away whatever dark thoughts were plaguing him. His eyes softened as those dark emotions were replaced by the Haldir I knew. His eyes glistened with love in the fire light.

"This is all I could ask for. You being here in my arms." Haldir said as I nodded before placing a sweet kiss on his lips. I placed my head on his shoulder as his arm around my waist tightened as his hand ran up to my thigh and gripped it lightly. His eyes turned to fire, his mind wandering as I gazed at the side of his face, concern for him still evident. For some reason, I knew that wasn't the end of these dark thoughts.

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone. I rolled over to where Haldir had fallen asleep the night before to find that his side was cold. I let out a sigh as I sat up, the blanket sliding down to my waist as I pushed my dark mess of hair from my shoulder. I saw on the small table in front of the fire a note. I crawled to the foot of the bed, my feet hitting the cool animal rug. I unfolded the parchment and the scrawling handwriting of Haldir. I cocked my head as I reread his note, it was short and very unlike him. He stated he went off to his duties and wouldn't be able to join me in the evening. Usually he would have waited for me to get up before heading off to tend to his duties. Something was off about him and I was concern. I closed the note and tossed it onto the table.

Today, I was meeting up with Éomer to help train his men. Usually, I would be excited about seeing the men I trained at Helm's Deep. But I couldn't help but be nervous. Éomer and I haven't gotten off to the great start. And the last time I talked to him, I punched him in the face. I wasn't sure how today was going to pan out. I hoped it would end well but I was prepared for anything.

And I did forgive Éomer. Like King Théoden said, he was young. The woman for him was out there waiting for to love him. And we were at war. Whether I liked it or not, war changed the balance of the world. Petty differences and insults didn't matter anymore, in my opinion. In the next couple of days, we would be riding off to Minas Tirith. We all needed to be at our best and that meant no squabbles or altercations. Everything had to be swept aside and all energies focused on winning the war and defeating Sauron.

I quickly splashed cold water on my face, got dressed in my clothes, strapped on my gear and made my way out of my room. I made my way into the kitchen and was greeted by the chef with a large smile. Being friendly with the chef meant that you get extra food. And since I was a bit stressed about how this day was going to go, I was craving food. Yeah, I'm a stress eater. After I quickly ate a hearty breakfast of hams, potatoes and scrambled eggs, I said good bye to the chef and made my way to where the men were to be training.

As I neared the training area, I saw that Éomer was already there. He was checking the swords, shields and bows, inspecting each weapon with a scrutinizing eyes. I took in a deep breath as I made my way, standing behind him. "Lord Éomer." I said as he turned, his green hazel eyes searching my face. He was not like Haldir. His eyes gave way to his emotions. He looked hesitant yet relieved.

"Lady Esperanza." Éomer greeted me with a respectful bow. "I am pleased that King Théoden convinced you to aid my men." I returned his bow with one of my own, a small smile on my face. A group of men with armor were approaching us. I knew many of their faces from Helm's Deep.

"He didn't have to convince me of anything. I would gladly give my time if it meant more lives will be saved." I said as Éomer looked apologetic. I didn't mean to sound defensive.

"I meant no slight against you. I am grateful you are here." He said as I waved it off, trying instead to make this awkward tension between us dissipate.

"I look forward to working with the men once more." I said as the men approaching waved at me, broad smiles on their faces. I returned their waves and gave them a warm smile in return.

Éomer glanced between the interaction, a small hopeful smile on his face. I turned to him to see him try to wipe the emotions from his face. "I must apologize for…." Éomer said, his voice low. He stopped mid-sentence, glancing over at the men that had gathered a few feet from us before motioning with his head towards an alleyway between houses. I followed him as we walked down the alley between the houses, his hazel eyes filled with regret and guilt. "I must apologize for the things I have said. I had no right to say what I did. I know nothing about the past you two have endured. I know nothing about the bond that you two share. It was wrong to say what I said. I was drunk and did not know the workings of my own heart. You opened my eyes to what love should be. I am ashamed to have caused such insult to the person who aided my men and my uncle in their most desperate hour." Éomer apologized as I studied his face. I knew that he was genuine, sincere and immensely grateful. I knew he meant what he said. I forgave Boromir for his actions and he ended up being someone I thought of as a brother. Who would I be if I didn't offer him the same chance?

"I forgive you." I said and he looked surprised yet relieved. "Now I owe you an apology." Éomer raised an eyebrow in question. "I'm sorry that I punched you in the face." I finished as Éomer looked at me like I was growing two heads.

"I deserved it." He answered back as I laughed lightly.

"Yes, you did. But I crossed the line." I explained. "I lost my head and that usually doesn't happen. And for that, I am truly sorry." Éomer nodded, a small friendly smile on his face.

"Can we move on from this moment as comrades in arms?" Éomer asked as I returned his smile with one of my own.

"Yeah, we can." I said, extending my hand out for him to shake. He looked down at it before grasping it in one of his. We shook firmly, a smile on my face as he turned to leave. King Théoden was right about his nephew. He was a good man, an honorable man. I felt the need to ensure that he knew this wasn't the end. Only the beginning of a great love story he would have. "By the way…" I said as he turned, looking at me questioningly. "I hope you know that this is not the end. You will know her when you see her. A little part of heart and soul will feel like it is reaching forward and connecting with hers. That's when you know you have found the person you are supposed to be with." I said as his eyes reflected what he was feeling. His hazel eyes gleamed with gratitude and hope.

"As a woman who has experienced this in her life, I will heed your words and hope that I am fortunate to find that kind of love." Éomer said as we joined the group of men that were waiting patiently for us to return. "Men!" Éomer yelled, grabbing all their attention. I stood by his side, feeling good at what I had accomplished today.

The day had been a long one and the men tried their hardest but as is with everything, there was room for improvement. Hell, even I was learning more to make myself a better fighter. I was learning much from these men. Éomer made a point to tell me the men were much better than before. Whether or not that was from me, I wasn't for sure but he swore my presence made a difference. If that is all it took, having someone who believed in them and their abilities to be everything they wanted to be, then I'll show up rain or shine until the beacons are lit.

The sun was just about set, the night slowly creeping in. The men were sweaty, dirty and exhausted. Éomer was just about to let them go when he looked over me. "Do you have any parting words?" Éomer asked as I nodded as I turned towards the men, their eyes tired yet alert.

"Good job today gentlemen!" I said as I stood in front of them, smiling proudly at them. "I know your hearts are heavy from the losses we have endured. I know we ask much from in this dark time. But know, you honor the fallen with your bravery. You honor the fallen with your courage and will to do what is right. Use the grief, your pain and the love in your hearts to fuel the fire inside you. It may be a flickering ember now but with the right amount of wind, it can change into a raging bonfire. Rest well. We will see you tomorrow." I finished as they all looked between each other, hoping shining in their eyes before they bowed, returned to their homes with slight limps and gimps.

I glanced over to see Éomer looking at me. He had a small smile on his face. "My uncle was right. You do have a gift for inspiration." Éomer complimented as I just smiled lightly. I've definitely gotten better at receiving compliments. All thanks to Haldir… I wish I knew why he was acting strange.

"Thanks." I said as I returned to the present. Éowyn appeared out of nowhere, a large smile on her face as she glanced between me and her brother. She touched her brother's arm lightly before pulling me into an embrace. I laughed as I returned her embrace, pulling away from Éowyn.

"Éomer, Esperanza." She greeted, her voice warm and kind. "It is good to see you two working alongside each other." She said as I laughed and Éomer groaned at her pleased tone.

"Éowyn…" Éomer said in annoyance, his eyes narrowed at his sister. Éowyn narrowed her eyes back at Éomer.

"Éomer…" Éowyn said in the same annoyed tone as her brother. I watched as both of them stared at each other, a knowing smile on my face and my heart ached. They reminded me of the times my sister and I would get into these arguments. Sometimes we didn't even remember what we were arguing about. Sometimes the arguments were so intense that I thought we would never speak again. But we always came back to each other the next day. We always forgave each other. It was moments like these that I felt my heart ache the most. It was these kind of moments that reminded me that I will never have these moments with my sister ever again.

"Easy with the looks, you two." I said, my voice breaking slightly from all the emotion I was feeling in my heart. Éowyn and Éomer broke their sibling showdown, looking over at me with concern.

"Esperanza… are you well?" Éowyn asked as I nodded my head in response, taking a deep breath to ease the emotions from my chest as I looked away.

I waited a few moments before looking back at both of them. "I'm fine, Éowyn. It just… it brings back memories of me and my sister." I said as Éowyn smiled sadly. Éomer, on the other hand, looked shocked.

"You have a sister?" He asked as I nodded sadly.

"I had a sister." I corrected him. His eyes flashed with regret.

"My apologies." He said as I shook my head, patting his shoulder lightly. Like I've been saying, I rather remember them than forget. The pain was worth it. It would always be worth it.

"Don't worry about it. I remember her fondly." I said as Éomer nodded before one of Éomer's Rohirrim soldiers approached us.

"Lord Éomer…" The Rohirrim soldier saluted as he stopped in front of us, bowing to Éowyn and saluting to me in greeting. Éomer gave him a nod before turning his gaze on me and Éowyn.

"I must tend to my duties. See you in the morn." Éomer said as I nodded in response.

"See you." I replied as he walked away with the Rohirrim soldier. I turned to Éowyn who had a happy look on her face.

"Do you have plans for the evening meal?" Éowyn asked as she laced her arm with mine and led me up to the Golden Hall. I looked over at her while shaking my head in response. I wish I did. Usually Haldir was my dinner partner but tonight, I was solo.

"No, I don't. Haldir is staying with his men. I'm on my own this evening." I said as a bright smile lit her face.

"Would you like to join me for the evening meal?" She asked as I nudged her slightly. When do I ever pass up the opportunity to eat? Never, that's when.

"Of course!" I said as we made our way up the stairs and through the double wooden doors.

Éowyn and I ended up in my room for the evening meal. We talked for a little bit until we were engulfed into an comfortable silence. I watched as Éowyn gazed into the fire, her blue eyes revealing that she was in conflict within her mind. I knew she wanted to talk to me about whatever she was conflicted with. She kept gazing at me while we gathered our food and drinks to bring into my room. But now, if I didn't nudge her bit, she would never ask me what was on her mind.

"What's on your mind, Éowyn?" I asked as she looked from the fire to me, her eyes slightly wide from being startled out of her thoughts.

"What?" She asked as I gave her a look. It was the look that said 'You know what I'm talking about. Spill the beans.' She let out a sigh as I took a bite out of the beef, potato and carrot stew. My eyes closed as the beef just melted in my mouth. God… I loved food.

Éowyn was silent for a few more moments. She looked like she was contemplating whether or not to tell me what was on her mind. Whatever it was, I waited. I hoped that she trusted me enough to let me help her or at least try to help her. "When do you know it is time to stand up for what you believe in?" She asked me, her voice sound small. I leaned back in my chair, studying her as I took a leisurely sip from my mug of honey mead. My gut intuition was telling me that there was more.

"That depends on the person." I answered as she met my gaze, her eyes silently urging me to offer more.

"Please explain." She asked as I held the mugs in between my hands, settling them in my lap.

"I see it as a conscious decision to act. You must feel in your heart, in your soul. It is being compelled to do this act, either spiritually, morally or both. The thought of not doing this act would haunt you for the rest of your life. You will forever regret never doing it when you had the chance." I explained as I took another sip from my mug, enjoying the warmth as it flowed down my throat and pooled in my stomach. I searched her face but her face emotionless. She waited for me to finish. "But this is not any ordinary action. It is not a fleeting action based off of wanting to do something for the sake of doing it. You do it because you believe it is right." I said as Éowyn looked down, deep in thought. For once, I wished I had Lady Galadriel's ability to read minds. But there's one thing I do know, Éowyn was planning something. I placed the mug on the table, reach forward and gathering her fair hands in mine. She looked down at our hands as I squeezed them, pulling her attention back towards my face. "But whatever this action you do, you must be able to live with the consequences, Éowyn. And you must understand the gravity of what your actions could do to those that love you." I warned her as she looked down at the table for a few moments. All I could do was give her the best advice. The rest was in her hands now. All I could hope is that she didn't do anything stupid.

"I understand. Thank you for your words of wisdom." She said with a small smile on her face as she met my gaze. She gave me an appreciative smile, squeezing my hands before letting go. I returned her smile before making a dent into my beef stew.

"Okay. Now tell me all about who you danced with at the celebration." I said with a friendly smile on my face, my tone light and playful. Éowyn smiled brightly, her blue eyes lighting up as she told me everything that happened at the celebration.

Éowyn and I talked well into the evening before she left. We gossiped like two old women, laughing and giggling at the events that happened the night before. I missed having these kinds of moments. It reminded me of when my sister and I would talk into the early hours of the morning. Sometimes it was conversations about everything and anything under the sun. Sometimes they were deep conversations about our darkest fears, our dreams, our truth. And there are times where our mother would join in. She would break out the wine, sometimes the tequila, and we would have a great time laughing, crying and everything in between.

When Éowyn left, it was the first time I felt alone on my journey. I hated the feeling. But I pushed it aside, crawling into bed with the hope that Haldir would join me. But he never did and that worried me. I understood that he may need his space and I understood that he may actually have duties that needed his full attention. But I knew in that in my gut, something was off. Something was going on with Haldir and I wished he would trust me like I have trusted him. I feel asleep, though it was a fitful sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I sat up in bed. I had a migraine from the fitful sleep from the previous night. I glanced over to where Haldir would have slept but I saw that it was untouched. I let out an sigh as I got out of bed and changed into my gear. I made my way to the kitchen, eating a quick breakfast before downing a hot cup of tea. I felt the tension migraine lessen but I could still feel the banging in the back of my head. I joined Éomer as the training began.

It was late in the afternoon when I noticed Amarathan waiting patiently off to the side. His sapphire blue eyes boring into me to get my attention. I tapped Éomer's shoulder, motioning to the blonde haired Elf waiting for me. Éomer send me a nod in understanding, waving me off with a hand.

I approached Amarathan, concern etched onto my face. Why was Amarathan here? "Excuse me, Lady Esperanza. Forgive my intrusion." Amarathan apologized with a bow. I returned it with a tight smile on my face.

"It is alright, Amarathan. Is there something wrong?" I asked, my voice filled with concern as his blue eyes were filled with the same concern I felt.

"Marchwarden Haldir has requested your presence. At once, milady." Amarathan said as I gave him a curt, motioning him with my head to lead the way. He bowed his head again, turning and walking briskly towards the Galadhrim encampment.

"Amarathan… what is going on?" I asked him as I followed behind him, his long strides carrying him farther than my little short legs to go. He stopped walking, his eyes showing me that he was deciding whether or not to tell me what was going on.

"It is not my place…" He stated as I watched him deliberate in his mind for a moment before continuing on. "…but the Marchwarden is not himself. That is all I dare to say." He finished, his voice laced with anxiety and worry.

I placed a hand on his metal shoulder. "That is enough, Amarathan. Take me to him, please." I said as I patted his shoulder as he sent me an appreciative nod before continuing on to the Galadhrim encampment. After a few moments, we stopped in front of a tent larger than the rest. I assumed this was Haldir's tent.

"He is inside." Amarathan said as he opened the flap and waited for me to enter. I took in a deep breath before entering, my gut telling me that something dark lingered in the space before me. I rolled my shoulders back and walked in. Haldir stood over a map with Ruith and Beilias at his side. Amarathan joined them as the others looked up, sending me tense but respectful nod in greeting. I returned it with one of my own as I looked over Haldir. He had his grey-blue eyes on the map before him, the same dark look over his handsome features. It was the same look I encountered two nights ago when I told him about the proposition from King Théoden.

"My love?" I said softly, hoping that maybe I could help lift him from the mood like I did that night. He snapped his head up from the map, his eyes cold and filled with animosity. He motioned his head for the others to leave. I could feel their eyes on me as I met Haldir's gaze with one of my own.

"I insist you address me as Marchwarden when we are in the presence of my men." Haldir said, his tone as cold as his eyes. I felt myself bristled at his remark. This was the first I've ever heard of this. Never have I ever called him 'Marchwarden' in front of his men.

I took in a breath before answering, not wanting to escalate this mood of his any further. I could feel the necklace around my neck grow warm. "Excuse me?" I asked, my voice level and calm.

"Did you not hear me?" Haldir asked in his condescending tone that I hated with all my heart. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to push my buttons to start a confrontation. And he knew that I hated, HATED that condescending tone he got.

"I heard you perfectly. What is wrong?" I asked, attempting to keep my cool with him. The last thing I wanted was give in to his attempts.

"There is nothing wrong with me." He said, looking at me like I offended his great ancestors or something. I let out a laughed sarcastically, not being able to stop myself. This conversation was not going to end well.

"Are you sure? Because you are being a complete ass." I said as switched over to English, annoyance laced in my voice as Haldir's eyes flashed in response. Damn it! I just gave him what he wanted.

"Name calling? What are you? A child?" He spit out, his voice filled with that damn condescending tone, as I narrowed my eyes at him, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. He knew I hated when he talked down to me. It only happened once in Lothlórien and I called him out for it. I made sure he knew that I was far from a child and that he could talk to me like a decent person. Merendír had found the confrontation illuminating and a good lesson for Haldir. Needless to say, he never did it again. Until now.

"What are you then? A grumpy old man?" I retorted back. I knew I hit a nerve before I saw his shoulders square up.

"What is it with your people?" He bit out, waving a towards Edoras. I took in a deep breath before answering. I needed to be the voice of reason for him like he has been for me all those times that darkness filled my heart. And ultimately, he had switched roles with me. It was my turn to lift him from his despair.

"What are you talking about Haldir? What has gotten into you?" I asked him, not wanting anyone from the Rohirrim or the villagers of Edoras to hear us. I took a step closer to him, hoping to give him some comfort but he backed away. That was first he had ever done that to me. I watched as he walked back behind the table that held the map.

"I am a warrior." He said as he leaned against the table with his hands. "I am a leader of my people. Do you understand that Esperanza?" He asked me as I approached the table, looking at him from the opposite side. Maybe he was climbing out of the dark hole he was in.

"I do understand, Haldir. You know I do." I answered as he looked down at the map, his eyes giving way to his concern before they went cold again, the darkness take over once more.

"My people are strong. We have fought through many battles and wars and have prevailed." He said as I looked at him confused.

"What are you trying to say, Haldir?" I asked him, wanting him to tell me what was wrong. I couldn't help him if I didn't know what plagued his heart.

"Your people are weak. This war will be the end of them." Haldir said as he looked up at me. His eyes filled with anger and fear. I felt my necklace grow warm again as I leaned against the table. He was trying to hurt me. He knew what my purpose was when I was brought into this world.

"And yet I do not believe that. You have not seen what I have seen. You have not felt what I have felt while training those men." I said, my voice filled with determination as Haldir narrowed his eyes at my words.

Haldir waved his arm around, his eyes boring down on mine. "Look around us, Esperanza! They are dripping with the stench of dread and despair!" He yelled, slamming his hands onto the table for emphasis. I copied his movements, not giving in to him.

"And they should be! War is upon them! They have every right to be scared! That does not mean they are weak! That does not mean they cannot win this war!" I yelled back at him as his eyes narrowed.

"You alone cannot help them! You alone cannot save them from their fate!" He yelled as I stared into his eyes, looking for anything to help me get through to him.

"And what kind of fate is that?!" I yelled at him as he stalked around the table and stood right in front of my face, his face filled with pure anger.

"They will die! They will be slaughtered by Sauron and his forces! Nothing that you do or say will change their fate!" He yelled, his face inches from my own. The necklace burned against my skin as I stared into the grey-blue eyes that I loved. That is when I saw it. It was in his eyes behind the fear and anger.

"My love… I did not see it until now. You let in the despair and it is controlling you." I whispered, my heart breaking as my anger disappeared.

"Do not mock me, Esperanza." Haldir said in a threatening tone. I slowly reached out to touch his face but he pulled away abruptly. My hand dropped as I looked towards the ground, his motion hurting me deeply.

"I am not mocking you, Haldir. I would never do that to you." I whispered as I took in a deep breath and looked up at him, the tears rimming my eyes. "You have let despair twist your mind, Haldir. You let in the darkness take hold and control you. Can you not see that?" I asked as I watched as there was a flicker in his eyes. "I do not know what to say to help you overcome your despair, my love. All that I can say is that this man that is standing before me…he is not the man I fell in love with. He is not the man that swore to fight by my side until the end. You need to fight it, my love." I said as I went to touch his face again, hoping he would let me help him. He pushed my hand away and for a moment, I wanted to break down and cry right in front of him. I held back my tears as I let out a sorrowful sigh. "You must fight this, my love. You must find the man let love lift him up and hope to drive him forward. Please… come back to me, the love of my life. Come back to me…" I pleaded before I left Haldir, the pain in my heart too much to bear.

I stood outside the tent looking at Edoras. The tears fell down my eyes as I walked out towards the rolling plains. I let out a whistle and seconds later, heard a loud neigh in response before a thunder of hooves could be heard.