A FEW DAYS LATER
After her impromptu kiss with Hunt, Roxie had done everything she could to avoid him but her game was up as Hunt cornered her in the on call room.
"So what is your deal?" he asked waiting for her to explain her actions over the last few days
"There's no deal I've just been busy"
"You've been avoiding me ever since we kissed. And don't pretend you didn't kiss me back"
"Owen, it's just"
"Just what?"
"It's too soon after…everything. I did enjoy it but as far as I'm concerned it never happened"
"That's all you had say" replied Hunt "You didn't have to be childish like this" Hunt then left the room leaving Roxie behind feeling like crap
LATER AT DR WYATTS OFFICE
Roxie sat holding on to a cushion her head was elsewhere and the doc picked up on that.
"You seem distracted"
"No I'm not"
"So tell me what have you done since the last time we spoke?"
"We're not friends"
"I just want to know how you're coping"
"I'm coping fine"
"Then tell me what's happened"
"Why do you want to know?"
"If you don't tell me how am I to know you're coping?"
"If I tell you how do you know I'm not lying?"
"This hesitation is only going to prolong your ban from the OR"
"You're such a great shrink you have to resort to blackmail?"
"This isn't blackmail it's fact. I have to come to work everyday whether you're on my books or not so this doesn't influence me in anyway but you're the one who wants to get back into the OR yet you're stopping yourself by being distant"
Roxie looked at the doc and knew she was right.
"Ok Mark made himself perfectly clear that there was no reconciliation between us and I took that hard because I thought that maybe at some point down the line there could be a possible reconciliation. My friend turned up in the middle of the night on my doorstep straight out of rehab and he then moved in with me. His fiancée is my best friend and although I know them both so well I didn't know how she was going to react to him turns out she's happy to have him back and has taken a short period off of work to have sex on anything that will support them…in my home. I met a new doctor who started here while I was indisposed with a placental abruption, a preemie, revelation of the real father and then the death of the daughter. He is an army guy, he was discharged and took the job here as head of the ER, it's the only place I can work until you sign me off so I've been spending a lot of time with him and he's been helping me"
"How?"
"By not helping me"
"I don't understand" she asked with confusion
"I told him about my daughter and he didn't treat me any differently, he didn't wrap me up in cotton wool, he didn't try to talk to me about it, he didn't have an opinion…in fact he made a joke out of it"
"A joke? About the death of your daughter?"
"No not about that there was a hostile moment between me and Mark while he was there and I told him about Mark and Derek and he said 'No wonder the chief wants you to see a shrink'. He didn't judge me, he doesn't know me so he could have easily judged me based on this but he didn't. He took the time to get to know me and for the first time since she died I felt comfortable"
"Comfortable?"
"Yeah I didn't feel like someone was waiting for me to breakdown. I didn't feel like my every action was being judged. It was just easy, fun and uncomplicated"
"You like this man?"
There was a long silence and then Roxie continued "If I were to say to you, you knowing everything about Mark and Derek and Faith. If I said to you I liked him a lot and that he kissed me and I had to fight every urge in my body to not drag him into my bedroom. What would you think of me?"
"I'm not here to make judgement"
"That's your job"
"No my job is to decipher why you do the things you do"
"Ok professionally what would your analysis be?"
"You didn't sleep with him?" Roxie shook her head "Then I would say you're trying to fill a void and he's just the first person who makes you feel better"
"A void? He can't replace Faith"
"I'm not talking about Faith"
"You mean Mark?"
"In our first session you said you hated going to Marks and your apartment and climbing in Marks and your bed because you felt alone. Since that session Mark has made it abundantly clear that you will never be a couple again. That void is still there and you're filling it with the first person who showed interest and didn't make you feel like the bad guy"
"So you wouldn't recommend that I take it any further with him?"
"The decisions yours but it won't work out because you haven't had any closure with Mark. You still seek his forgiveness and even though you feel defeated with the revelation you still hang on to some hope that maybe one day you'll be a couple again"
"So six months from now when hopefully you've signed me off and Marks dating because trust he can't go without for six months and then some stranger comes over to me and asks me out on a date and I say yes. Does that still mean I'm trying to fill a void?"
"It would depend on how you felt towards Mark at that period"
"And how do I get closure?"
"I can't tell you that something just has to happen to make you realise it is over and not that you won't ever get back together but that you may not get back together and you then are open to the idea of a 'relationship' with another man and not just 'relations'. Do you understand?"
"But until then I can have relations without it being frowned upon?"
"That's you're decision. But take into consideration that Dr Hunt…" Roxie gave a look of confusion as she hadn't mention Hunt's name "…There aren't that many army doctors at Seattle Grace. Anyway take into consideration that he knows about Faith and about Mark and Derek. Subconsciously you have been confiding in him whether verbally or not maybe it was getting a drink. He knew this yet he still kissed you. You have to ask yourself why he kissed you? Because he likes you? Or because he pities you?"
"Wow don't hold back will you?"
"He knew your vulnerability and made a move"
"That's it with him I wasn't vulnerable. I didn't have to be the poor girl who lost her baby and her man. I was just Roxie a good doctor doing a good job and socialising like I always have. I never sat there and complained to him about my problems as far as he knew I was together"
"Sometimes the masquerade doesn't work. You can be as 'together' as you want but people can see through it. All I'm saying is if you're going to put yourself out there again so soon you need to know whether it's for pity or because he does actually want to date you. It's just a warning. What happened after the kissed?"
"I avoided him"
"Why?"
"Because I didn't know what to think. I didn't know whether I felt lonely. I didn't know whether he was feeling sorry for me. I felt guilty. I broke Mark's heart and I put pressure on Derek and Meredith's relationship and I felt guilty that because of my actions they were suffering and I felt if I were to take it further with Hunt that it would be like a slap in the face to them"
"Roxie I can't tell you what to do and to me it sounds like you are thinking long and hard about this, your actions and the repercussions"
Just then Roxie's pager went off. She checked the pager and looked at Dr Wyatt.
"I'm sorry but I have to go"
"Ok that's fine. If you feel you need to visit in between our scheduled sessions feel free"
A Little While Later
Roxie walked out of the front entrance of the hospital to find Chan staring at the building.
"Thank God I thought I'd have to send the fire department in to hose you two down"
Chan smiled "What do you want? We haven't seen each other in a long time and we are both very…frustrated"
"You can't be frustrated anymore that's impossible"
"We're just enjoying each others company while she's not at work. Am I not being a good housemate?"
"Doesn't bother me but why don't you just go back to Skye's?"
"You're kicking me out?"
"No I just thought…"
"It makes more sense? It probably does but I manipulated her once, she loved me so much she couldn't see what I was. I may be out of rehab but I'm still recovering and I need someone strong there to look after me"
"And you chose me? Babe I don't know if you've noticed but I'm a mess"
"We'll make each other stronger" he said looking past her at the building
"So why did you page me?"
"I need to go speak to chief and I can't move"
"Why do you need to speak to him?"
"I need to know what I have to do to get my job back…if there's a job to go back to"
"You know there's a new head of OB?"
"Yeah Skye told me"
"So what you want me to walk with you? Go in with you to see him?"
"I don't know. Lets try the walking thing for now"
"Ok" said Roxie linking arms with Chan and slowly walking inside the building where they both had sordid histories.
A Little While Later
Roxie and Chan were on the surgical floor making their way to see the chief when Roxie heard a call.
"Roxie"
She turned to see Mark stood there and wondered to herself what he wanted after making himself so perfectly clear about where they stood as a couple. Chan nodded at her giving her permission to leave and he proceeded on to see the chief.
"Hi what's up?"
"I had my lawyer write up some papers and I just need you to look through them and make a decision"
"A decision?"
"Yeah currently I am paying for a property I don't live in so you either buy me out or we sell"
"Whoa nah ah"
"Nah ah?"
"I bought my apartment I had a home a home I liked and you came in and you knocked through to the next apartment to make a home for us and because you gave up on us and you walked out I have to either buy another apartment because of your renovation or move out and make another home? How is that fair?"
"I didn't give up on us! You lied to me! You told me she was my little girl! We picked a name! I decorated a nursery for her! You knew there was a chance she may not be mine and you let me fall in love with her. She may not have been mine but I still loved her and it's not just you and 'Daddy' that have lost her she was my little girl for six months I connected with her. How can you expect me to carry on having a relationship with you after that? You made me leave my home and I don't see why I should pay for you to live in a home I created for us. Choice is simple buy me out or find somewhere else" Mark shoved the papers at Roxie and walked away he then stopped and turned back "Oh by the way I'll be picking up my things after work. I should be done before you get home" Mark turned and continued to walk away
Roxie stood in the middle of the corridor as the room which halted once again resumed to work and she realised Dr Wyatt was right. 'Something just has to happen to make you realise it is over'. Holding the papers in her hand she realised it was over.
AT THE CHIEFS OFFICE
The chief sat in his chair staring at Chan who sat across the desk from him.
"When something like this happens you have to go through a process"
"Like rehab?"
"Not just rehab. There of course is the rehab followed by the twelve steps which I'm sure will include counselling?"
"Yeah they've given me a list of people but I was hoping I could see a shrink here? Then you can ask for reports and keep up to date with my progress because I just, I just want to get back to work. Which brings me to my next reason for being here. I was hoping I could do voluntary work here in the hospital. I'll work as a grunt I just want to show you and everybody else that I'm back and I'm fine"
"The psychiatrist no problem I'll get you one today but as far as the voluntary work I don't think that's a good idea"
"Because I can't be trusted near the drugs?"
"No it's not that"
"Then why?"
The chief was stumped for an answer as his fears were just the same as his fears of entering a bar one night after a hard day and giving into temptation. He feared that Chan's demons weren't far enough behind him to handle the temptation of being in the hospital with access to vicodin.
"Chan I just…"
"If I were still hooked I could get what I needed on the street. I wouldn't have to come here to get it. I want to come back here so I can prove myself because I just want to get back to work. I want to pick up my life and prove to Skye that I am the same Chan she agreed to marry. I had a hard time and I innocently got hooked. I wasn't looking for a fix I was just trying to mask the pain and I took too much and got hooked. I've learnt from my mistake. I need to prove that everybody"
LATER AT ROXIES APARTMENT
Chan opened the door and walked inside to find Skye waiting for him in panties and a jersey.
"Well?" she asked curiously
Chan hesitated and then smiled "I start Monday"
"Congratulations" she said running and jumping into his arms
"I have to see a shrink and it's grunt work but I've got my chance to prove to people that I'm back and I'm ok and that's all I wanted" he sat Skye down on the kitchen top and dug inside his inside pocket and pulled out Skye's engagement ring. He held it up for her to see and she smiled.
"They said we weren't to give these back until we could sincerely promise that we wouldn't relapse. I'm ready to give it back, Skye you mean the world to me and I love you more than humanly possible and I wouldn't give this back if I didn't truly believe that I'd got this thing beat. So will you accept it?"
Skye nodded "Yes" Chan smiled and placed the ring back on her finger and kissed her sweetly he then looked into her eyes and with a devilish smile pulled her along the kitchen top and began to remove his jersey leaving her sat on the kitchen top in just her panties. Chan removed his jacket and shirt and began to kiss Skye passionately.
LATER
A key turned in the lock and the door opened. Mark turned on the light and immediately saw a pile of clothes on the floor. He was then distracted by the sound of giggling coming from one of the spare rooms. He stormed into the bedroom he had once shared with Skye and stuffed all the clothes out of his closet into the bag he'd brought with him. He then caught a glimpse of the picture on his nightstand which was a picture of him and Roxie that he'd taken of them in bed. The smiles on their face were so big and so sincere and he could see she truly did love him. He walked out of the room with the picture in hand and was once again greeted by the sound of giggling he then threw the picture to the ground smashing the glass inside the frame. He then stormed out of the apartment and Chan wrapped in a towel walked out in the living room to see the picture shattered on the floor. He carefully picked up the picture to see it was of Roxie and Mark. Skye joined Chan and saw the picture.
"Who was it?" she asked
"I don't know but I'm guessing Rox or Sloan"
"I'll get a pan and brush" said Skye to clean up the broken glass
LATER
Roxie walked out of the hospital and ran after Hunt who had left moments before her.
"Owen" she called trying to slow him down successfully getting his attention and stopping him in his tracks "I'm sorry"
"For what?"
"For acting like an idiot and avoiding you. I was stupid"
"Yeah you were" he said with a smile
"Okay well…I kissed you…because I like you"
"You like me?"
"I felt guilty Mark and I broke up little less than a month ago and with everything that happened I felt like I wasn't allowed to kiss you. I know this sounds weird but I don't feel like that anymore and I…I really enjoyed that kiss and I enjoy your company"
"Why do you feel different?"
"Mark's moved on I can't feel guilty if he's found a way to move on right?"
Hunt smiled at Roxie giving her a confused look "You're strange"
Roxie smiled "Take me home?"
"Sure" they then walked away towards Hunt's car
A Little While Later – At Roxie's Apartment
Roxie and Hunt approached the apartment door and Roxie found her keys and unlocked the door. She then turned to Hunt wanting him to repeat the kiss. As the moment lingered she wondered if he'd changed his mind about her he then walked towards her and didn't stop, walking past her and into the apartment. Roxie followed him inside closing the door before it had time to close firmly shut behind them Hunt had her pinned against it. He kissed her with so much passion she could feel the kiss in her toes. This time Roxie didn't worry about where to put her hands and she pulled him in by his shirt to make the kiss more intoxicating. They finally parted both breathless from the kiss. Hunt picked her up effortlessly.
"Bedroom?"
"First on the right"
Hunt carried her into the bedroom and placed her down on the bed he took off his shirt and pants and then helped Roxie out of hers revealing her post natal body with her caesarean scar still visible. Hunt moved onto the bed and kissed her softly on the lips his lips then moved down her body and Roxie indulged missing the feel of a mans lips upon her skin. Roxie looked at Hunt who smiled up at her and he then pulled her down the bed and she let out a little scream. Hunt began to touch her playfully and she closed her eyes as she enjoyed the attention and smiled as she felt his full length enter her.
A Little While Later
After a marathon session of their own Skye and Chan made their way into the kitchen to replenish themselves with a snack and they were shocked and amazed to hear delighted and familiar noises coming from Roxie's room.
"Who's in there?"
"I don't know maybe Mark?"
"I don't think so you didn't see how angry he was"
"So who then?"
"I don't know I've been a little preoccupied" she said looking at Chan
"We'll find out in the morning"
Later That Night
Roxie collapsed next to Hunt on the bed and smiled as she reminisced about the evenings events.
"Hey" she said sitting up and looking down at him "We can't tell anybody about this"
"Who am I going to tell?"
"No I mean we have to be really quiet and careful not to give it away at the hospital"
"I thought Mark had moved on?"
"They judged me for coming back to work so soon imagine the judgement I'll get for sleeping with you. I just don't need it ok"
"That's ok by me"
Roxie smiled "So soldier do have the stamina for another go?"
Hunt laughed "You're insatiable" he said rolling on top of her and kissing her neck sweetly as he prepared himself for more sex with the beautiful woman beneath him.