Chapter Thirty Seven
"Why is there an egg on your desk?" Tom asked Mike, three days later.
Mike looked up from his laptop to Tom and then to the egg on his desk. His assistant was getting a bonus for the extra hours he'd put in the past couple days for him. Tom walked up to the 2.5kg egg that now held Christine's ashes. There something so unreal about it that stressed Mike out. He knew he'd never be comfortable with any of this especially when Tom picked it up.
"It's a biodegradable coffin." Mike said as he tossed another file onto his 'no' pile. "Could you please not manhandle my wife?" Mike asked him Tom who'd been about to open it; froze and looked distinctly uncomfortable. Mike would have laughed but his sense of humour had gone AWOL. But he did manage a smile so Tom knew he wasn't offended. If anything he was mildly amused at how everyone reacted at holding his wife's ashes.
"Oh, right, sorry." Tom said as he carefully placed it onto the desk. "So is Christine staying here?" he asked.
"No, I'm going to bury her." Mike and Tom looked at one another as the conversation just went from uncomfortable to just plain awkward. they both knew what he was saying wasn't wrong but it felt wrong given it made Mike sound like a murderer. "I'm just trying to figure out where and if I need permits." he said pushing through the awkwardness.
"Why not go traditional like with a cemetery?" Tom asked.
"She wants to be buried under a sapling. That egg will breakdown over time and neutralise the acid in her ashes; releasing nutrients for the tree to grow off of. So cemetery is out." Mike told him with a sigh.
"Maybe you should ask about doing it in a National Park." Tom said.
"I'm looking into properties that back onto National Forest or Park. Something like what your father had with a cabin on it and few acres of forest on it. That way, I don't have to worry about the tree being cut down without my say." Mike said sitting back in his chair.
"Find anything?" Tom asked him, Mike shook his head but f he were honest he wasn't sure what he was looking at.
"Not really. It's hard to tell from the photos if it's what I want." Mike admitted.
"Let me see." Tom said, Mike handed over the files his assistant had printed off the internet for him. Tom flicked through them at twice the speed Mike had until he stopped and pulled out page. "This one." he told Mike.
"Why?" Mike asked him cautiously.
"Used to be a rental property for people who wanted to go glamping or whatever they call luxury wood cabin trips. It's a decent size property all forest, it has a gravel drive in got generators, septic tank and still in very good shape. My Dad built it with his buddy Pete, so it's sturdy and we'll share a property line. If you were to buy it." Tom told him.
"Beth," Mia said as she sat on Mike's bed later that afternoon. The girls had come home from school, Sienna was in her room doing homework while Mia followed Beth and Kaito around.
"Yes," Beth replied a little distracted as she changed Kaito's diaper. Kaito had turned into a real wriggle worm now that he'd figured out that he could move around the joint. He hadn't mastered crawling or anything with real momentum but he liked to squirm around to figure it out. He clearly enjoyed her frustration at trying to wrangle him. But she wasn't going to be beaten by him.
"Why is 6 scared of 7?" Mia asked her with a curious tone.
"I don't know, why is 6 scared of 7?" Beth asked her, knowing the joke but relishing that Mia had these little nuggets to share with her when she got home from school.
"Cause 7 ate 9." Mia said before cackling with laughter at the joke. Beth just smiled as it was a terrible joke but cute nonetheless. More importantly it made Mia smile.
"Very clever. You learn that in math today?" Beth asked.
"No, my math classes are way cooler than what the other kids my age gotta do." Mia told her, Beth smiled as she decided not to comment on the matter. Mia jumped off the bed and raced to the window. "Daddy's home!" Mia said in delight.
She raced out of the room and Beth turned to Kaito. "That's right, I won this round." Beth told him gleefully as she pulled him back into his clothes, he giggled and cooed in response.
"I'm home." Tom called out as he closed the front door and kicked off his shoes. He was dead on his feet and ready to be reminded of everything he had going for him.
He would never say it to Mike but he was envious of him, envious that even though his wife was dead- Mike actually had a chance to properly say goodbye. A luxury Tom nor his kids would ever have with Darien. They hadn't really marked Darien's passing, no funeral or empty plot with a headstone. It didn't seem right given they had no body and there was something incredibly wrong with having the ashes of multiple people and pretending it was Darien. They had a funeral for his father and buried him with Tom's mother.
Part of him wondered if he could have handled it if the impossible situation of Darien's remains had been found. He understood that burying Darien properly would've given them all closure but doing so months or years later really help? or would it do more harm? Something Tom was going to learn vicariously through Mike and his family. If he were honest, he figured it was a blessing in disguise that he wasn't in Mike's situation.
"Hey Dad," Sammy said from the couch as he was playing xbox.
"Your homework finished?" Tom asked him casually.
"Yes, Sasha checked it and it's in my bag for school tomorrow." Sammy told him in a bored tone, his eyes never leaving the screen. It was clear he was more interested in the game than Tom. So he let his son be as he moved through the house and into kitchen. He smiled as Sasha and Ashley were cutting up vegetables and prepping for dinner.
"Hey you." Sasha said with a warm smile. Ashley looked up and smiled greeting him with a hello before she went back to the task at hand.
"Ladies."he said, he moved to Sasha's side and gave her a quick peck on the lips 'hello'. "What's for dinner?" he asked.
"It's vegetarian lasagna." Sasha informed him.
"No meat?" Tom asked with a frown.
"We need more vegetables in our diet and it wouldn't hurt for us all to go one night without meat." Ashley said, Tom blinked for a moment as her tone and manner reminded him so much of Darien.
"Is this a new thing?" Tom asked innocently as he ate a piece of carrot from the pile on the bench.
"No Daddy, it's called nutrition. You're still getting all your protein and iron intake in this meal even without meat. Honestly, meat is not everything." Ashley informed him in an exasperating manner, Sasha and Tom exchanged looks as they both realised they had a budding vegetarian on their hands. It wasn't an issue but it just meant they had to tread carefully in future.
"Ok, I'm going to get changed and I'm looking forward to dinner." Tom said deciding a hasty retreat was his safest option. So much for trying to enjoy family time, he just hoped dinner went better.
"Is it Easter?" Mia asked with excitement as she looked at the egg Mike was carrying. He was having his first panic attack... ok, third panic attack but in his defence when Christine went into labour; it was never a calm experience. Frankly being in combat was more relaxing than watching the woman you love give birth. With combat he had some perceived control over the situation. But just like now, he was floundering.
"No." He told Mia, unsure of how tell Mia he was holding what was basically a coffin with her mother's remains without it ending in tears for both of them.
"But you got an egg, that's a lot of chocolate to not share." Mia pointed out. Mike gave a weak laugh as he wished he was holding a chocolate egg.
"It's not chocolate." he told her as he placed the egg on the coffee table in the living room. He really had no clue what the protocol was. It seemed no matter where he placed it, it would still be weird and uncomfortable.
"Ooh is it a baby bird or a dinosaur?!" Mia asked as she rushed over to the egg to inspect it more closely.
"No," Mike said choking on the word.
"Mia, let's give your Dad a few seconds to catch his breath." Beth said as she came towards them with Kaito in her arms.
"Ok." Mia said.
"Where's Sienna?" Mike asked, relieved to see Beth but knowing it was best to get the conversation they needed to have about the egg out of the way. The sooner the better as Mia's questions were killing him.
"In our room." Mia said.
"Can you go get her for me?" Mike asked.
"Ok" Mia said, she jumped to her feet and raced upstairs. He blew out a breath and looked to Beth; letting her calm presence seep into his raw nerves. His lips quirked in a small smile as Kaito squirmed in her arms; reaching out towards him.
"You ok?" Beth asked him with concern.
"It's Christine." he told her, he lifted Kaito into his arms. The baby boy latched onto him and Mike closed his eyes not wanting to see Beth's reaction.
"She's in the egg?" Beth asked him, he opened his eyes and saw the same conflict of emotions he felt. It was the reality of having someone you cared about being gone, of having grieved the loss only to have all those emotions awoken again.
"Yes, I'll explain everything when the girls are here." he told her.
Twenty minutes later,
"So Mommy is in an egg like a baby?" Mia asked confused as she and Sienna sat on the couch. Beth was in one of the single seater chairs while Mike sat on the coffee table next to the egg coffin. Mike had explained how he'd bought a property and Christine's remains had been found and returned to him. He was respecting Christine's wishes by wanting to bury her under a tree and explained how the egg was a biodegradable shell- but he'd lost Mia somewhere along the way.
Beth and Sienna understood completely, they both sat quietly both looking upset but completely reserved in their display of emotions. Mia however wasn't really getting it, and so she wasn't as upset as the others.
"It's different but yes, she's inside this egg." Mike explained.
"Who's vagina will she go into?" Mia asked her face screwed up in confusion. Mike fought to not run a hand over his face as he really had himself to blame given he'd given her the sex talk. That and he'd over complicated his explanation of what was going on here with too many comparisons about rebirth. He wasn't too sure as he'd rambled at some points.
"She's going to be buried into the earth and baby tree will be planted above her. Her remains will feed the baby tree and it will grow big and strong because of her." Mike told her.
"So she's not going to be born like a baby?" Mia asked looking more confused than before.
"No, remember how we talked about her spirit leaving her body?" Beth asked Mia, saving Mike but also giving him a chance to regroup.
"Yes." Mia said to her, Mike lifted Kaito off the floor and into his arms; glad that there was one person in the room he hadn't managed to upset nor confuse.
"Well, her spirit is gone but what is in the egg are the remains of her body. So when we bury her body, the shell will breakdown and her remains will be absorbed by the tree." Beth told her, basically repeating what Mike had told Mia less than 10 seconds ago.
"So she'll become a tree just like she wanted to be. But what about her spirit?" Mia asked as she was finally getting it but still had questions.
"Well, your mom's spirit goes wherever she is needed and she can always hear you when you talk to her but the tree will be a special place for her and us that we can visit from time to time." Beth told her, Mike swallowed down his emotions as Beth's words got to him. He hadn't really had the discussion about death with the girls as Beth had covered it but he liked the idea that she hadn't been completely brutal, that she had preserved some fantasy to it.
"Is it a really pretty place, Daddy?" Mia asked Mike, he gave a nod and picked up the file he had on the property he had bought.
"It's beautiful, here are some photos. I'm thinking next week we could go." he said looking to Sienna and Beth.
"What about school?" Sienna asked him.
"Well I was thinking we'd leave Thursday night and come back the following Monday night, so a long weekend. You'll only miss two days of school." Mike said, Sienna nodded while Mia placed the photos from the file onto the table. She moved to the floor and got up on her knees; she looked down at the photos with a expression of deep concentration.
"It looks pretty, are Kaito and Beth coming too? I think Mommy would like them to be there." Mia told him, Mike looked to Sienna who was just staring at the egg with a pained expression and then to Beth. Silently asking her if she wanted to come but also hating how on the spot it was. Much to his relief she gave him a nod, telling him that it was ok with her.
"Yeah, the whole family is going." Mike said to Mia.
"You ok?"Sasha asked Tom, she curled around his back; wrapping her arms and legs around him. It was well past midnight and she couldn't get to sleep as he was tossing and turning behind her.
"I'm ok." he replied.
"You sure? Usually you're fast asleep by now. So what's on your mind?" she asked.
"The kids seem different?" he asked.
"No different than usual. Why?" She asked.
"I felt like no matter what I did tonight, I was pissing them off." Tom told her with a sigh.
"Ashley is burgeoning on becoming a teenager. Boobs, mood swings, pimples and periods are on the horizon. I think she would prefer her Mom be here for her, it's nothing against either of us. Just how girls are, they want their moms." Sasha told him.
"Sammy?" Tom asked as Sasha seemed to be a font of information.
"I don't know, but maybe one day you should try and play Xbox. I know it's not your thing but he'll talk while he's playing." Sasha suggested.
"How do I not know all of this?" Tom asked annoyed at himself for being wrapped up inside his own thoughts.
"I spent the last two weeks with nothing to do but play xbox and gently inform Ashley not to browbeat us into submission with her ideas of nutrition." Sasha said, he could hear the smile in her voice. "Don't be too hard on yourself, we both work long hours and it's not easy to balance it all. I know I struggle with it, imagine what a third kid will do to the mix." She added.
"Make it more interesting." Tom remarked, a smile spreading on his lips as he really enjoyed the thought of Sasha becoming and being pregnant and their child growing up with them and the kids. It was definitely going to interesting times ahead of them.