Holding On
Chapter 37
Sarah had never really enjoyed going to the mall before, so going baby shopping with her friends was a bit of a surreal experience. They got very weird looks from the store workers, for starters, until they noticed Natalie.
Sarah knew the moment that she saw Nat's face when they met up at the mall that she wasn't as excited as she had been. She kept looking around and had her hand placed protectively over her bump.
Emily and Sarah had spent the entire bus ride over to the mall talking about Connor, or rather Emily had been full of questions about where exactly the pair escaped off to from the diner the evening before.
There was one thing she was sure of, she much preferred talking to Emily about her and Connor than to Gabby.
Monique arrived just after Emily and Sarah and they chatted while waiting for Claire.
"Are you okay Natalie?" Sarah asked in a quiet voice while the other two chatted about Mouse's latest escapade.
"I just...I don't know." She shrugged, "It's just I haven't gone shopping for the baby yet. I have savings from working at Molly's, it's not the money, it's just I have to go around in public as a teen mom to be and I just feel like I'm going to get judged you know? I mean people have a right to judge me I guess…" She faltered with sudden tears in her eyes. "I pretty much screwed up."
"Don't think like that." Sarah pleaded. "That baby will be lucky to have you as his Mom. And we're all here for you. Emily and Claire, are pretty scary if anyone tries anything."
Natalie gave a laugh at the thought but it was more like a sob.
"We can go home if you're not comfortable?" Sarah tried, imagining how hard it was for Natalie, even if Jeff was around a lot more recently.
"No. I want to do this, sorry, sometimes it all just catches up with me I guess." Natalie said.
"You're allowed to feel overwhelmed." Sarah reminded her, she knew she would be totally lost and freaking out, if anything like that happened to her.
"Thanks Sarah. I want to do this, I want to have a girls day, sometimes I have enough boy time with Henry and Connor."
"Okay the party has arrived." Claire declared as she approached the group. "Claire Rhodes, nice to meet you." She immediately introduced herself officially to Emily and Monique with a handshake, Connor had told Sarah they had been taught how to properly make themselves known to people growing up. Monique looked almost star struck. Sarah couldn't blame her, Claire had that effect on people.
"Thanks for coming Claire." Nat said as she hugged the older girl.
"Oh please and miss spoiling my nephew? No chance I was missing this. Thanks for inviting me." She smiled and Sarah could tell it was sincere. She had heard bits of stories off Connor and Henry and Nat herself about Claire's falling in with the wrong crowd and off the tracks but she was trying now and that made all the difference.
They decided to hit some baby clothes shops first, Claire forming a plan of attack. She had the day organised within an inch of its life. She had the brains for business.
Sarah wondered if her Dad would ever give her the chance to get involved with the family business properly like he kept saying Connor had to.
There was more than one occasion that Claire and Emily gave staff a glare if they looked at Natalie too much and Monique and Sarah would keep Natalie occupied by trying to find outfits cuter than the last ones.
"So come on, I know I'm practically old and everything but give me all the news. Who's with who, who are the cute guys, and what teachers are the biggest pain?" Claire asked as they sat down after getting the basics for the baby, and on their Claire designated break for sodas and sweets, or as Claire put it, 'mandatory girls day food'.
"I mean all of them are but I'm nominating Abrams." Emily rolled her eyes.
"No, Stohl." Monique argued.
"Oh good point." Natalie commented as she came back from the bathroom.
"That was the boring question!" Claire moaned, "Who are the cute guys?" She laughed.
"Everyone knows Sarah has bagged the best one." Emily sighed dramatically.
"Oh no you don't, we are not talking about my brother!" Claire laughed, pretending to cover her ears with her hands.
"Henry is pretty cute though…" Emily commented, innocently sipping her drink.
"Henry?" Natalie scrunched up her nose in thought as if she hadn't really thought about it.
"Henry Herrmann?" Claire asked in a voice that seemed to be light by force.
"Yeah and he's sweet." Monique agreed.
Sarah, being the good observer she was, noticed the momentary slip in Claire's professional mask, as she was processing the fact that there were girls who liked Henry.
She stored that information for later.
"What about Jay and Will though? They're a pretty set of brothers." Monique giggled.
"Jay?" Emily asked, "Ew no at this stage it feels like he's my brother."
"Antonio Dawson." Natalie piped up and immediately all the sophomore girls sighed in unison which just set Claire off into peels of laughter.
"Connor's got competition." Claire pointed at Sarah in jest.
"No…!" Sarah protested with a laugh.
"Oh, please everyone knows you two are head over heels for each other." Emily patted Sarah's arm.
"...I think me and Jeff are breaking up." Natalie said out of the blue, immediately killing the laughter.
"What?" Claire asked, instinctively putting an arm around the younger girl's shoulder.
"I don't know. It's just not the same anymore. I still love him, we've been together for so long and he's the father of my baby but I just...I don't think I'm in love with him anymore." She admitted, "And he's really trying with the baby now and it's all I wanted but I just don't think we'll be trying again." She said.
"Hey Will. What can I get you?" Connor asked as Will approached the counter. The place was having one of it's really quiet days. Which drove Chris mad but made Henry happy as they didn't need quite so much staff. Henry had taken the time and ran with it all the way to the rink to get some more practice in.
There was one couple in the corner and a Mom and kid at one of the tables and Connor was almost bored until Will appeared.
"Hey." Will said as he hopped up onto one of the stools. "Just a burger and fries, thanks."
"Coming up." Connor said as he scrawled the order on his notepad and gave it into Chris in the kitchen.
"Busy day huh?" Will asked as he played with the salt and pepper shakers lying on the counter.
"Oh yeah, out the door." Connor deadpanned as he leaned against the counter. He had already cleaned the place twice that day.
"No Jay?" Connor asked.
"Nah, he and Mouse are hanging out today and I'm trying to convince my car to start again." Will laughed, wiping grease off his hands.
"How's it going?" Connor asked. Even though it was unchartered territory, talking about things that weren't related to hockey, Sarah or Natalie, Connor threw it out there.
Will hesitated, but after everything with Sarah, Connor guessed they had to start to get along better. They both happened to be hanging out with each other's friends more lately.
Will described the problem vaguely until he realised Connor was actually interested in cars too and then they both jumped into the pros and cons of the different filters he was trying, both forgetting about the order until Chris stopped ringing the bell and just brought the food out himself.
"Boys and their cars, you're as bad as Henry." Chris shook his head with a smile as he handed Will his food and brought out a plate of fries for Connor. "Why don't you take off after that kid, it's pretty slow today."
Will snorted at the description, "That's one way of putting it."
And Connor wouldn't admit it, but he had laughed at a joke that Will Halstead had made.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah go and say hello to your Mom for me, yeah?" Chris waved away his worries, "Gabby's coming in in a while until closing anyway."
The two boys talked about cars and ate their food and Connor mused that someone should take a picture of them getting along.
"You got plans with Sarah after?" Will asked.
"No, her and Nat, Claire, Monique and Emily." Connor counted off on his fingers, "Went to the mall and Claire just told me they're having an impromptu girls night in at my house and to not go home and disturb them."
"Yeah Nina's out with her family." Will said, clearing his throat, and probably, Connor thought, trying to not mention Natalie.
Will put the money on the counter, clearly debating something in his head.
"Hey Rhodes, I cannot believe I'm asking you this, but you want to come around by my house and work on my car? Fresh eyes and all that… and seeing as you can't go home…?"
Connor put the money in the till and gave him a receipt.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but sure why not?" Connor said.
Will nodded, "Yep, I think we've both just lost our minds."
"Sounds about right." Connor agreed before he grabbed his jacket.
As Connor drove they didn't talk much on the way, but decided to get right to work on the car. "So, I'm guessing your love for cars doesn't come from watching Transformers." Will said as Connor rolled his sleeves up and took a peek at the inside, he shot him a glance. "Jason."
"Ah, right, yeah no, Hermann, he used to make me and Henry help him out sometimes."
Will bit his lip. "So, not your Dad?"
Connor laughed. "No, not my Dad, he's just not like that." He stared at the other boy, waiting for Will to make some remark about rich people, but it didn't come and the two of them just focused back on work.
Half an hour passed and Will's Dad was home, peeking his head in at the boys, surprised to find Connor and not Jay helping his son with the car. "You two lost a bet or something?"
Will and Connor looked at each other. "Connor Rhodes sir." Connor said, reaching at his hand.
"Yeah, I know who you are, that's why I'm asking." Pat retorted. "Seen that brother of yours anywhere?"
"Yeah, he's out with Mouse." Will said and Connor watched as the redhead tense up.
"Make sure he knows he has to be here on time, for dinner, hear?" The redheaded boy nodded. "I told this one he should just give up on it." Pat said biting his lip, referring to the car. "But he and his brother are working on it together, which is good, gives them something more to fight about." Pat said to Connor.
Connor felt himself smile as Will rolled his eyes, it was moments like these he wondered what it would have been like to have a big brother to do things like these with.
Pat gave both boys another weary glance and went inside the house.
"So, yeah, that's my Dad." Will said. Connor didn't reply right away. "He's not as scary as he looks."
But Connor had grown up with the cold shoulder that was his father and compared to him, Pat didn't seem so bad. "Clearly you haven't met Cornelius." He huffed and they continued to work in silence until Pat called them inside to get something to drink.
Then Connor saw it, a picture of Will's Mom whom Jay looked a lot like, they grabbed their drinks and went back to the garage but Will sensed Connor's change of demeanor. "Something on your mind Rhodes?" Will asked, but Connor didn't reply, he hated to pry in other people's business. He just focused back on the task at hand.
Will looked over from where he was placing the valve inside as Connor held the hood open.
"It's been almost four years." Will said, surprised he was talking to Connor about his Mom. "We didn't even know she was sick until it was too late and Chemo didn't do anything it just made her feel worse and she was barely aware of where she was half the time, and in the end, she wouldn't even recognize us anymore." Connor stopped cold on his tracks. "My Dad didn't even have time to process what had happened, neither could we really...I was 13 and Jay was just 10." Will tossed the towel he was using to clean up the valve over his shoulder.
"I'm sorry man." Connor said to him honestly. At least he had had more time with his Mom, more of the one they'd been promised off at first and Halstead had had almost none.
"Yeah, me too." Will said, almost wanting to laugh bitterly at the situation. "It's been a while since I've talked about it, my Dad barely does and Jay… well, he's pissed at me because I don't talk about her much."
"I get it." Connor said in all honesty.
"How is she doing. Your mom I mean?" Connor shrugged.
"I don't even know anymore to be honest. She's been at it for six years, most days, when I walk through the door, I keep expecting her to be gone."
Will sat on the ground with a loud sigh. "Look at us, huh, who would have thought this would be the one thing we would have in common?"
"Well, that and cars apparently." Connor admitted as he joined Will on the ground. Jay arrived and had noticed the garage door was open so he made his way over.
Connor and Will could have sworn his jaw dropped to the floor when he saw them together like that.
As if they were friends.
Those two had clearly come a long way since that september morning when Sarah had arrived it seemed.
Connor made it home just before the girls had to leave. He stayed upstairs in the kitchen though, not wanting to disturb them or piss off his sister in any way.
"What in the world happened to you?" Katie said as soon as she found him sitting on the small table by the side of the huge room. "You better get cleaned up. Your father is coming for dinner."
"He's.."
"Flying in, yes. Arthur just left to get him." Katie said.
Connor winced. "Right, I'm going."
"Good boy."
He left the kitchen as the girls were coming up laughing.
"And then he just…" Claire was saying as the others giggled. "Oh, hey little brother, did a car ran you over or something?"
"Or something." Connor smiled, his eyes drifting to Sarah. "Oh let's go up for a minute, until Ethan is here to pick you guys up. Like these two don't have enough time alone." Claire huffed and led the other girls upstairs. Natalie shot Sarah a look as she followed closely behind Emily.
"Are you okay?" Sarah asked when they were left alone and Connor closed the distance between them.
"Yeah, it's just grease." He mused, leaning to kiss her lips.
"From Molly's?"
"Ah, not exactly. You know that car that Halstead is always talking about? Well we sort of figured out a way to fix it."
Sarah had to blink to make sure she had heard him right.
"We? As in you and Will?"
"Yeah." Connor said scratching the back of his ear. "We're going over to the junkyard tomorrow after school actually."
"I'm sorry but you and Will? Since when do you two hang out?"
"I thought you wanted me to like him?" Connor laughed.
"Of course I do. It's just a big thing to process. You two getting along."
"Ah, yeah, turns out we're not that different after all."
"I'm glad you two figured that out." She beamed. "And I'm proud of you."
"What for?" He asked curiously.
"For realizing it." She countered.
"Come here." Connor pulled her over to the bathroom where he washed his face. "Better?"
"Yeah, much." She said as he kissed her softly.
It was then that the intercoms had sounded in the house and Katie had come to let them know Ethan was there to pick them up.
The girls made their way down the stairs. "Claire, thanks for everything. All of you, I had a really good time."
"Of course. And you call me once you start with the decorating. My nephew deserves the best after all."
"And don't forget about the baby shower!" Emily piped up and Nat smiled.
"Are you sure you don't want us to drive you?" Claire asked.
"No, it's okay. My Dad would kill me if I don't take the car back anyway." The girls said their goodbyes to Katie who'd come out of the kitchen.
"We'll see you in school Connor." Monique smiled as Connor opened the door for the girls and Ethan offered him a handshake getting out of the car.
Sarah was the last to get in. "Oh, come on kiss goodbye, already, you'll see him in less than 12 hours Sarah." Emily joked and Sarah blushed violently but Connor only kissed her cheek much to her friend's disappointment who huffed and pulled her into the car.
Sarah rolled her eyes as Connor winked at her and closed the door.
Natalie and Claire stood beside him just as Arthur pulled up with Cornelius just missing the girls by a mere minute, thankfully.
Natalie was used to the man but she couldn't shake that odd feeling about him. "I'll be in my office." Cornelius said glancing at the three kids, Connor had already cleaned up his face but his jeans and long sleeve shirt were quite dirty.
"Hey Dad, How are you? I'm good thanks." Claire hissed for only Connor and Natalie to hear and they laughed.
"I should get going." Nat commented turning to the Rhodes siblings. "Thanks again for everything."
"Earl already put everything inside." Claire said as she hugged the younger girl. They brought the car around and Connor helped Nat get in.
"Text me once you get home, yeah?" He said with a smile.
Connor took a step back and sighed. Claire put an arm around her brother's neck. "Cheer up little brother, he'll be leaving again in no time."
Connor and Claire ate dinner with her Mom while Cornelius was dealing with urgent business in his office. Elizabeth was only delighted to hear that the girls got on well and that Natalie had had a good day out.
"You know for high school kids, they aren't that bad." Claire commented.
"Of course they're not, I pick good friends." Connor smirked.
"Yeah like apparently Will Halstead?" Claire snorted with a smile.
"Oh are you two finally getting along?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yeah we're working on his car." Connor told his Mom, "How did you know?" He asked Claire.
She shrugged, "Henry texted me and told me, said Chris had told him where you'd gone and he told me to watch out for pigs flying because that's what you said would have to happen before you would get along with Will."
"Oh shut up…" He laughed. "And hey have you gone over to see Chris and the family yet?"
"What?" Claire asked.
"You know, Henry was texting you the other day..."
Claire blinked in surprise, and she was a good liar, but he could read his sister well. "Oh yeah he was telling me, no I haven't gotten over." She took a sip of her drink. "Speaking of Henry, he seems popular with the girls."
"Is he? Isn't that cute, Henry is such a good kid." Elizabeth smiled.
"What girls?" Connor asked.
"Apparently most of the school?" Claire shrugged.
"Well he's quite a catch." Elizabeth said.
Claire nodded and pushed her food around her plate.
They were just finishing up dinner when Connor's phone buzzed. It looked like he had his own urgent business to take care of.
He excused himself and practically ran up to his room.
"Peter, hey, thanks for getting back to me so soon." He said, sitting down at his desk.
"No problem, anything for you Rhodes." Connor could hear Peter grinning. "So listen I did a bit of digging, and Claire was right about Ava, it's messed up."
As soon as Connor had heard the news he knew he had to ask Peter, the boy knew everything and anything he didn't know he went after like a bloodhound.
"Yeah her Dad has no job and her Mom was kicked off of every charity board."
"Woah." Connor sighed. "So much for her friends huh?"
"Yeah, well consider the lawsuit dropped, I doubt they could afford to even move her back to Lakeshore either unless her grandparents chip in."
Connor breathed a sigh of relief, at least Sarah was safe.
"Well I don't want to say I'm happy but…I am! Man, c'mon, Sarah is sweet and Ava does something like that? Deserves what's coming to her, that's all I'll say." Peter ranted and while Connor appreciated his friends loyalty, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. They had been friends for years and she had just lost her entire world.
But Sarah was okay and that was what mattered to him.
Ava Bekker showed up at Gaffney monday morning in late March, after having missed over half a month of school. She had taken the bus and apparently people only realized she'd been back when she had taken her place at Math.
Sarah was walking with Connor and Henry when they saw her. "You okay?" Connor asked as his girlfriend froze on the spot.
"I'm fine." She said, going ahead of him and joining Henry ready to start class. Doris even seemed hesitant to talk to the blonde girl, Sarah noticed and it tickled her off. Most of all, Ava just seemed sad.
Her classes, which were still a mix between school years took her from Jay to Emily, Connor and Nat and back again until she had lunch.
All of her friends had gathered at their usual table, Sarah still finding it funny that they were almost getting used to their small group, it was hard to think of Connor and Will being friendly with each other and then she remembered Connor had mentioned they would be going to the Junkyard to look for parts to fix up the car.
"Here, sit." Connor offered her his seat as Gabby of all people had taken the usual one between Emily and her boyfriend.
"Oh hey Sarah, sorry for just taking up your spot." Gabby said with a small smile. "Jay's just telling us about Erin."
"What about Erin?" Sarah asked Jay who glared at Gabby.
"Oh, she's staying with her aunt until the end of the school year." A smile was there but it was faint. He would still have to say goodbye to his girlfriend in june.
"That's good man." Henry commented trying to cheer him up. "You two can come up with a better way to make it work."
"I don't think I'd be good with long distance relationships." Jay commented moving his food around. "And it's not like I have enough money to go back and forth to New York."
"Cheer up Jay, at least you two can work things out and who knows, if it's meant to be, it will work out." Emily said. She then noticed Natalie trying to avoid Will's gaze.
"Nat?" Henry piped up, dragging their attention back to the girl a moment later. "Are you okay?"
"Fine….just…" She winced in pain and Henry jumped into action beside her. He was an expert after all. "How far apart are they?" Natalie glared at him. "Tell me Natalie."
"Ah, not too far." She gasped.
"Wait, she's not having the baby now, is she?" Jay said, clear panic in his voice as the rest of them were gathered around her in a beat.
"No, I don't think so, could be Braxton Hicks. Just a warning " Henry put in explaining, "Connor, call her Mom. They need to get her to the hospital."
"Can't we drive her?" Connor asked.
"No, they won't let all of us leave." Henry said. "Just call her. I'll stay with Nat." Sarah glanced over at Connor, worry written all over his face. He dialed Carol's number and explained the situation the best he could as Will and Henry helped her to her feet and called for Ms. Goodwin and Mr. Charles.
Sarah had never seen Henry so sure of himself. "Who do you think should be the doctor now?" Connor whispered beside her as the teachers dragged Natalie away with April joining the boys as they went.
Natalie's Mom arrived about ten minutes later and all of them made it just in time for their classes. "Sarah?" Connor had noticed his girlfriend being a little restless, she could barley focus as they sat together in Biology, they had been paired up together for the day since their respective partners were gone.
"I'm worried about Nat."
"Yeah, me too. But Henry said she won't even have to be admitted to the hospital."
"What if she has the baby today, isn't it a little early?" She asked. Connor glanced over at Will who was trying to focus on the lesson, Mrs. Dawson clearly noticed something was going on because she stopped talking.
"I understand you are all worried about Miss Manning." They all turned their attention to her. "Having a baby is something pretty scary." She commented as Connor turned to Sarah again, his eyes grueling into hers. She tried to listen to the teacher but all she could think was Natalie and how she was closer to having her baby.
Connor walked her to her next class. "I just got a text from Carol. She's taking Nat home. I guess Henry was right after all."
Sarah breathed a sigh of relief as they reached the door. "Are you still going to the Junkyard with Will after school?"
"Yeah, I figure the guy's gonna need to get his mind off things." Connor said softly, placing a finger on Sarah's cheek. "But I'll meet you before I leave and we can go get Jason together?"
She smiled. "Alright." He handed her her bag and waited until she was in her seat in History to leave.
Sarah was already late to get Jason when she went into the bathroom. She hurried along and was coming out of a stall when she heard something, it sounded like, someone was crying. She stepped outside, just to come out face to face with Ava Bekker. Her eyes were puffy, her makeup pretty much ruined and her usual smug expression was nowhere in sight. She then realized someone was watching her.
And that someone was Sarah.
Reese felt like she couldn't move. "Are you okay Ava?" She found herself asking the older girl.
"You can gloat, come on, I know you want to." Ava spat. "Looks like you've finally won."
Sarah felt a chill down her spine but as she watched the girl sniffle, all her fear suddenly faded away, offering her a kleenex she had grabbed from the stall behind her.
Ava watched it for a moment, hesitant. "Come on, take it." Sarah said, her voice somehow stronger.
And she did. "Why are you helping me?"
"Because, in spite of myself." Sarah said with a sigh. "It looks like you need it."
"Jason!" Connor got to Sarah's little brother as fast as he could and Mary thanked him because he had seemed to be a little more restless than usual. "What's going on?"
"He had an episode today in class. It wasn't that bad so we didn't need to take him to the nurse's office, but he is still pretty upset." Mary informed Connor. "Maybe I should take him home?"
"No, I want to ride the bus with Will and Jay!" Jason said as soon as he realized they were talking about him.
"Buddy…"
"No!" He said, taking off and Connor trailed after him. "Jason, bud, what's wrong?" He tried to grab him by the arm but instantly regretted trying to touch him, because the little boy froze at the the attempt and looked down, grabbing on his jacket's zipper.
"Jason, we've talked about running…" Mary scolded him when he caught up with them. Connor saw Sarah making her way over, a little out of breath.
"Sorry I'm late." She instantly noticed her brother's demeanor. "What's going on?"
"Mary thinks it's best if he doesn't ride the bus today." Connor informed her.
"What? Why?"
His aid explained the situation and Sarah sighed. It wasn't the first time this had happened in the last few weeks. "Jason, buddy, we need to get going, either the bus or Mary's car, but we have to get home."
He didn't look at her. "Can we have a milkshake?"
Connor watched as Sarah comforted her brother, even when he threw a tantrum after he'd been told that going to Molly's was a reward and he didn't deserve it.
As usual, he was in awe of his girlfriend's way in handling Jason, he was good when he didn't turn difficult, but Sarah? She was a true rockstar.
"Can you call me when you get back from the junkyard?" Sarah said as Jason spotted Jay and was already taking a seat next to him.
"Sure, is everything okay?" He knew something was up and not just regarding Jason.
"Yeah, just, I'll tell you later?" He nodded as she leaned to peck him quickly on the lips. "I love you." She said and he whispered it back, taking a step aside so the bus could pull away.
"Hey, everything okay?" Will asked as he and Connor stood watching the bus pull away, he'd seen some of what had gone down with Jason but he didn't feel like he should intervene. It would do more harm than good.
"Yeah, you ready to go?"
"You know Connor, if you want to go see Nat, we can do this another time." Will said biting his lip.
"Do you want to? Go see her I mean, I was going anyway." He retorted. "I figure we could, you know go check on the car and then Molly's. A milkshake will make her feel better for sure."
"I'm not sure if I should just show up at her house." Will said as they began to walk to the car.
"Why not?" Connor said. "You are her friend first and foremost, right?"
"I guess, but…"
"Come on Halstead, I'm trying here, don't make me beat you up."
Will sighed.
Yeah, he was still Natalie's friend and he hoped, at least, she'd be happy to see him.
Rhodestead is real! Rhodestead is real and how about that run in with Ava?
And Dr. Hermann? Could be, hmmm...