The weeks melded together with Grace in their lives. She was growing every day, learning something new and delighting Meredith and Derek. Christmas was coming up and Meredith couldn't help but spoiling her little Bug for her first Christmas. Every day either she or Derek came back with a different toy, and by the time the 20th of December came around they realized they had way too many toys for a four and a half month old's first Christmas.
"Derek, she's the most spoiled baby ever," Meredith had to admit as she looked at the growing pile of gifts in one of the spare bedrooms, laughing as she shook her head. He slipped his arms around her from behind and laughed, pressing kisses down her neck.
"And what's your point? She deserves to be spoiled, have you seen how awesome she is? Four and a half months old and she's perfect," he grinned as they peeked into her room, making sure she was asleep. After Thanksgiving she had started to sleep in her crib, and the pair had started getting a little more sleep. She slept through the night now, sleeping from 730-630, when she woke up and Meredith spent 45 minutes nursing her and bonding with her. Mer lived for this moments, rocking her back and forth and talking quietly with her baby girl, loving the quiet time, but she knew Derek felt left out of it, so she'd started feeding her bottles with her lunch so that Derek could have bonding time as well.
Solid foods were new too, as were finding which solid foods Gracie liked. She was good and liked most things, but some things she hated. Meal times were always fun, trying to figure out what she liked and hated, but Meredith just loved everything about being a mom. She had taken on the role head-on, despite the fact that she missed being in med school and wouldn't be back until January.
Christmas Eve came and again, the Shepherds came to Meredith and Derek's apartment. The family had drinks and dinner and just hung around, watching the snowfall in three different views from the corner apartment on Central Park West. Nancy and Kathleen's kids ran around and had fun, with Gracie being passed around to all the aunts and uncles.
Meredith had invited Ellis over, but she had to work. It stung more than it should have; she'd had to work her entire life. However, Ellis told her that maybe she could make an appearance at Carolyn's on Christmas day, which made Meredith smile slightly.
Meredith didn't remember much; Nancy and Kathleen went back to Carolyn's with her, their husbands and the kids, while Lizzie and Amelia stayed with her and Derek that night, they ended up doing shots and having deep conversations about life. Amelia happened to be the darkest of them all.
"Sometimes I feel so lost in myself and my mind I feel helpless," she said, after ten shots of tequila. It alarmed her to a point, but she too was so drunk she didn't really know what to say but reach over and hug her tightly and drink more tequila.
"I love you, Mia," she said, the two girls enveloped in each other.
Christmas day arrived too early; it was 530 AM and Grace was screaming. Fumbling with the baby monitor, Meredith crashed out of bed groaning.
"I can get her," Derek said, and for once Meredith relented.
"There's milk in bottles in the fridge, grab her and soothe her and heat it until it's warm, not hot, and rock her until she calms," she mumbled, holding her aching head as she settled back into the covers. She couldn't go back to sleep though, and she wrapped herself in a blanket and stood in the doorway to the nursery, smiling at Derek and Grace. It was still dark and Lizzie and Amelia were still asleep in guest rooms, but these were the moments she lived for. After a moment she headed into the room and sat down at Derek's feet, letting her head rest against the soft fabric of the rocker.
"Can you picture our lives any different than this?" she said sleepily. Getting pregnant had certainly thrown a wrench in things, but at this point Meredith couldn't imagine anything else. Grace had come screaming into the world and Meredith had latched onto her from the second she was placed on her chest, assuming the role of mommy and never looking back. She missed med school, but she knew things could wait – life was happening around her and she couldn't be happier. For now, her eyes were falling shut as Derek hummed a lullaby, both Meredith and Grace falling back to sleep.
Hours later, Meredith woke up in bed again, feeling better than she had earlier. She could smell breakfast cooking in the kitchen and she got out of bed, following the scent. Amelia was hanging her head and Lizzie was smirking, drinking orange juice and rubbing her baby sister on the back. Meredith gravitated towards the coffee before sitting down at the table, Derek sliding a plate heaped with eggs, sausage, and bacon in front of her.
"Mmm, Merry Christmas," she smiled at him, digging into her breakfast knowing she had to get ready fast – all of them did if they were going to make it to Carolyn's. Once she was done she washed her dishes before hopping in the shower, getting ready as fast as she could. She found a pair of leggings and paired it with a sweater – basically these days, anything that was clean and matched, she would wear. Leaving her hair down, she headed into the nursery and found Grace awayke in her crib.
"Well hello miss, Merry Christmas to you," she smiled, kissing her on the nose as she changed her diaper and dressed her in a red velvet dress with white tights that had ruffles on the butt. She looked adorable and as she brought her into the main rooms, Derek snapped a picture of the two of them.
"My girls look beautiful," he grinned, kissing both of them as he got the diaper bag ready with more diapers and a few bottles of milk, just in case. Lizzie and Amelia rushed into the living room, Amelia braiding her wet hair back, but both sisters were dressed and ready. Finally the five of them headed down to the car and left for Westchester.
The car ride was uneventful, and upon arriving they all spilled out of the car and into the Shepherd house.
"We're here!" Meredith called out, rounding the corner with Grace in her car seat…to find Ellis on the couch with a glass of wine, talking to Nancy. Her heart skipped a beat.
"Mom!" she shouted, without meaning to her. Nancy looked up and Meredith blushed, setting the car seat down. Grace was napping peacefully, having been lulled to sleep by the car and Meredith took her coat off, stepping back into the hall to hang it up. She hadn't expected her mother to be here for Christmas; after 23 years she had stopped wishing. But here she was in the Shepherd house with her sister in law talking surgical techniques. Carolyn came up behind her with a smile.
"Merry Christmas, Meredith! We wanted to surprise you," she smiled, and Meredith's smile grew wider.
"Well you certainly did. Speaking of surprises, where's tweedle dee and tweedle dum?" she giggled, referring to Addison and Mark.
"Upstairs," she smirked, and Meredith ran upstairs, knocking on Mark's door.
"Come in!" he yelled, and Meredith pushed the door open before stepping inside.
"Oh if it isn't our favorite new momma, how are you?" Addison squealed, clamboring over the bed to grab Meredith. She laughed and shook her head.
"Exhausted, I fall asleep in random places, wake up in random places, wake up covered in spit up. The usual." She shrugged, sitting on the edge of Marks bed.
"Did I tell you?" Addison grinned, looking up at her.
"Tell me what?" Meredith asked, yawning.
"I know we shouldn't, but I think I've decided to go into OB/GYN with a concentration in neonatal surgery," she said proudly. Meredith smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
"Derek and I knew in undergrad we wanted to do Neuro," she smiled, pushing back her hair, watching Mark throw a ball and catch it.
"It's just a matter of waiting and waiting through your internship and residency to get to your fellowship to specialize in everything. The waiting game sucks," she sighed, leaning her head back and closing her eyes, knowing Grace was in good hands downstairs.
She didn't remember falling asleep, but she was being woken up by Addison and it was a few hours later.
"Shit shit I fell asleep, is Grace okay?" she said, looking up to see Addison holding Grace, who was gurgling and kicking her feet.
"Oh she's fine, she's perfect, she's so gorgeous Mer, I wish we weren't on the west coast and we could see her more," Addie pouted, and Meredith got up from the bed, smiling.
"Yeah, but she's going to be your perfect flower girl along with Nancy and Kate's girls," Mer grinned, hearing Nancy yelling up the stairs that it was time to open presents.
"Come on," she smiled, taking Grace from Addison as they hurried downstairs; Mark had abandoned them seemingly when Meredith had fallen asleep.
Opening presents was insane, with the kids just tearing into everything, so the adults decided to do the same thing, leaving hugs and thank you for last. Meredith sat between Derek's legs, with Gracie between her legs, 'helping' her open everything, but of course the baby was just interested in laying with the wrapping paper and not her new toys, which made Meredith laugh. Dinner came soon after present opening, and at the table with Grace in her lap, Meredith couldn't stop laughing. Six kids and everyone was eyeing Lizzie, who was engaged, as well as Addison, to have the next child.
"I'm going back to med school at the end of January, I'm not having another for awhile," Meredith smirked as she sipped on a glass of wine, Grace trying to grab the delicate glass.
"No no, not for you," she chided, pressing a kiss to the top of her head with a smile. She always said that each Christmas was her favorite, but really, the older she got the better they got. Ellis sat across the table from her, watching her Meredith with her daughter and she couldn't help but feel sad, wishing she had taken the time to be a mother to Meredith, but at the same time she knew Meredith wouldn't have grown up to be the person she was today if circumstances had been different.
Later that night, driving back into the city with Addison and Mark, they were all babbling on about what a good Christmas it had been, and Meredith was giggling about Addison and Mark having to flank Gracie's car seat.
"So Mer, what's going on with you and your mom? Is she actually a part of your life now?" Addison asked, and Meredith rolled her eyes slightly.
"I have no idea. She does what she wants, she comes to what she wants. I leave an open invitation for her and if she's not swamped she shows up," she shrugged.
"I think she sees me with Grace and realizes she was a shit mother and realizes she can't change that even if she wants to. I turned out okay. I think. I mean besides the obvious mommy issues, and daddy issues, and tequila issues," she smirked, quirking her eyebrow in one of the mirrors in the car.
"Pro tip, Addie – stop drinking tequila when you have a kid. 6:30 am comes too soon," she giggled, reaching out to grab Derek's hand. They stayed that way the rest of the way back to their apartment and up the elevator, Derek carrying Grace's car seat. Meredith was right, though – Christmas got better and better every year.
Sorry for taking so long to update! BUT I'm finally finished classes ;) Just two finals on Friday and then I'm free all summer! Hope you like this one, it took me a few days to write and I personally love it! I love all of you that read and review, whether you've been following from the beginning or just jumped in. You make me want to write more and more all the time! 3 Thank you to all of you.