I do not own Divergent!

So life has been pretty busy lately C: BUT IT'S MAY so I'm happy that school will soon be out and I'll have some semblance of a normal life! Anyway, I'd have to say that I'm pretty happy about how the story's coming along right now, and I hope that you are too! Some important feelings coming together on Tris' side, as well as Tobias' side. Enjoy!

TRIS POV….

As much as I do hate it, I have to continue on with my life. I've been out of commission at the orchard for at least four months, if not more. I mean, I've been going there on and off, but not consistently enough to count. Christina assures me that she informed everyone that needed to be informed about what happened. She said they said that they completely understood and kept the job open for me and I'm in no need to rush back into this, but to be honest I'm getting a bit of cabin fever. I mean, honestly. When you stay inside, practically shielded by your husband for four months, you start to miss seeing the sun on a regular basis. Even if it is late fall and it's getting chilly, I think it'd be nice to get out more.

Things are becoming more bearable, I'm slowly learning that. Yes, I'm eating like a horse and I'm starting to notice random, extremely sharp pains in my legs and lower back, but… I don't know. I guess the more emotional part is over, that's why I'm able to handle everything. I can handle physical pain, that's obvious, just not the emotional stuff.

So yeah, when I go to the orchard to work I have to take a lot of breaks. We're just harvesting grapes now mainly, so I can do that. I'm fine with that. What sucks though, is that I get these random muscle pains in my legs or back when I'm reaching up to grab a cluster of grapes or bending down to put them in my basket. Intense, out of nowhere pains that make catch you off guard and make you grunt and bite your lower lip, bite it so much that it starts bleeding before you can even realize a trickle of blood flowing down the soft pink skin. Makes me wonder if something is out of the ordinary, if this isn't normal and there's actually something wrong with me. That's the main thing that's bothering me. Christina's over there beside me too, freaking out every time it happens. It's really annoying, the fact that she's worrying about me as much as Tobias is nowadays.

"Tris, is everything alright?" She asks, her eyebrows drawn close together with a hand nervously clutching a few grapes.

"For the tenth time, Christina, I'm fine," I answer back at her, sighing deeply.

"Maybe you should-"

"They. Are. Just. Pains," I growl back at her. "It's normal. It's not like I can't handle pain, Christina," I mutter, turning around and crossing my arms over my chest. "And they're not even that serious. They just surprise me."

"I know. It's just.." She pauses for a while, trying to find the right words. "I want you to be safe."

I hate this feeling. The feeling of being even more useless than you were before, even more weak than you're used to being. I close my eyes and I feel my eyebrows twitching out of annoyance.

"I just want to be able to do something, for once in forever," I mumble, pressing a hand to my forehead. "Christina, I've been in a bad condition for over two years. Not consecutively, but on and off, and I haven't really been able to do anything." I turn to her and look up, even at a disadvantage because of my height. "It's either I've been throwing up vomit or blood or I've been mentally unable to do everything. And you and Tobias have been sheltering me so much. I appreciate it, I really do." I pause. "But Christina, now I'm just freaking pregnant. Things happen to pregnant people and they're not especially enjoyable, no, but they're normal. By back hurts, my legs hurt, yeah. But I can handle it. I'm a big girl."

Christina takes a deep breath and puts a hand on her hip. She shakes her head. "Okay, okay… alright. Whatever." She blows a stray strand of hair out of her face and manages a small smile and an eye roll at me. "I'm still keeping an eye on you though."

"I know, I know," I mutter, rolling my eyes back at her. "Obviously."

I make it through the day without having having serious enough pains to make me go home, although by now there is a lovely little sore in my lower lip.

…

Most of the more annoying stuff actually happens at night, that's another reason why I'm having such a hard time sleeping. It's not that it's all that painful, I'd say about a five on a one to ten scale. But the pains are enough to keep waking me up. And because I sleep with Tobias, he's getting less sleep than usual as well, up at two in the morning and massaging my back to try to give me some help.

"Tobias, you know this is useless," I mutter to him, a sad smile on my lips. "You need to just get some rest, hun, I'll be fin-"

"No, I'll feel worse if I don't at least try. And plus, I'm not able to sleep anyway with you in pain. It worries me."

I pause for a long time. "I… I'm sorry."

Tobias smiles at me, warm and sweet. "Tris, you don't have anything to apologize for. This is normal. Hey, believe it or not, I've actually done some research." He seems proud of himself. "And it's perfectly normal for women to have back, leg, and stomach pains like this. It's only because all of your ligaments and muscles and whatever are stretching out. And I heard it's really painful. But I'm here for you, and I plan on getting a heating pad for you so we can both get a little more sleep," he says and chuckles. I try a smile back at him but it comes out as more of a frown, my teeth clenched together in nervousness. I still feel awful for doing this, for putting all of this worry on him, even though it's not my fault. It's nobody's fault, really, but it still sucks.

Tobias' eyebrows come close together and a sad smile forms on his lips as he wraps his arms around my smaller frame, his heartbeat steady against my ear. And even though there's a lovely little bump underneath my shirt, he still has no problem wrapping his arms snugly around me.

"It's gonna get easier Tris. I promise."

God, I feel so useless.

…..

Surprisingly, the heating pad that Tobias buys for me does help my pains somewhat, especially at night when I need it the most. And because it's easier for me to sleep now, I start sleeping in much later than usual.

…

"Hey…. Hey, Tris. Wake up," I hear Tobias mutter over me. I hear him pad over to the window and lift the blinds, bright sunlight making the soft darkness of the inside of my eyelids a violent red. I scrunch my eyes together.

"What… what is it?" I mutter grumpily, laying an arm over my eyes.

"Doctor's appointment today, remember?" He asks, playing with a strand of my longer- than- normal hair.

I growl as I remember, rolling over to my side. "Do I have to?"

"Mmhmm," Tobias mumbles and I can hear the smile in his voice. "You have a few things to talk to your doctor, don't you?" He asks, talking about my sudden pains. "I mean, just go ahead and get it over with, you know? Just to let him know and everything." I growl again and he sighs. "C'mon, Tris. It's not like you have to actually go to the hospital again. Just to that little practice that he runs. It's not even that far away."

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. "Alright, alright. Give me a few minutes to get ready," I say, grunting as I sit up and running a hand through my hair.

"Okay, I'll make some breakfast," he says dismissively, then walks from our room to the kitchen and I go to the bathroom, my steps sluggish over the plush blue carpet.

…..

I hum as I lather my hair with soap, trying my best not to get any in my eyes.

"Hey Tobias, what are you making for breakfast?" I yell over the shower noise, water trickling down my nose.

"Some bacon… and some jelly toast!" he yells back. Amazingly, he hasn't cooked eggs since my little outburst that one time a few weeks ago. I'm grateful for it, because even though my hormones have leveled out a bit I'm still pretty sure I don't want to push it.

"Oka-" I yell back, my sentence being cut short. Hey… what was that? I think as I look down at my stomach. A muscle twitch probably? I think dismissively. Then I just shrug and get out of the shower, drying my body off with a clean white towel.

…..

I walk out of the bathroom a few minutes later, my light blonde hair still wet and stringy, but it doesn't matter. I'm dressed comfortably, in a loose t- shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I had to hang up my jeans a few days ago because they were getting a bit uncomfortable. I could still wear them if I really wanted to, but I'd rather be comfortable than wearing jeans. Although my stomach still isn't very huge though, it just feels like it is because I'm so petite. Right at four months….

"That smells great, Tobias," I comment and I hear bacon sizzling on the stove in the kitchen.

"Yeah? Thanks, I'm surprised the house isn't burned down yet," he replies jokingly, a sunny smile on his face until he jumps back from some popping bacon grease. I smile at him and shake my head, walking into the kitchen to pull out a chair to sit in.

"So, what time are we supposed to-" I stutter and cut my sentence short. My God, what is that?

"What time are we supposed to what?" He asks, turning around. I guess he sees my startled expression down at my stomach and his face instantly goes slack. He's over by me in a second.

"Tris, what's wrong?" He asks and I can hear the waver in his voice.

"I…. I think something's going on in my stomach," I whisper, almost mutely. "Is that what it feels like? I don't… Tobias, can you feel it?" I ask and he gently rests his hand on my stomach. After a second he shakes his head, frowning.

"No, I can't feel anything."

"Tobias, this is weird," I whisper, my teeth clenching together. "It's hard to explain, like… like uncontrollable muscle spasms or butterflies or something." I curse. "I promised myself I wouldn't get attached to it, Tobias, I can't let this happen."

"It's going to happen anyway, Tris. You get attached to it, I mean," he says, a hand in his pants pocket. "I think it's actually kind of cruel for you to not get attached to it. You are it's mother, after all." He pauses for a moment, his words not becoming much more gentle. "Tris, it's fine to get attached to it. And this is normal, anyway, it's perfectly normal for you to feel it move. You don't need to be worried about anything."

"But if I get attached to it then it's going to be taken away from me," I growl at him. I can feel my heart rate increasing, only making the twitches in my stomach more frequent.

"That's not true, Tris. It's not going to be taken away from you." He pauses for a long time and I fill the gap with my words.

"I want it to stop," I whisper, my words coming out strained. The words sound a lot more selfish coming out of my mouth, I think desperately. I press my hands to my face, resting my elbows on the table.

TOBIAS POV….

She's fine in a few minutes, when she says that it finally stops. And she still seems a little shaken up on the train ride to the practice, but better. She leans against the wall of the train with me beside her, a hand haphazardly pressed to her stomach and her gaze somewhat distant. I think she's still trying to wrap her head around everything… I don't know. She seems so much more fragile nowadays, especially when it comes to the baby. I can't even begin to understand how she feels, though, but I'm not sure I want to understand anymore. I don't know if she's making it up or what. I can feel my patience slipping nowadays.

"Tris, what are you going to do when it becomes more frequent?" I ask her. Of course by 'it' I mean the kicks in her stomach. You can't call them 'kicks' right now, really, they're not quite distinguishable enough for that. But she'll be able to soon enough.

"I'll get over it eventually," she replies, and I can see her clench her teeth. "You know… the movement doesn't really bother me," she whispers and shakes her head. "Yes, I guess it could get kind of annoying. But it hasn't happened since we left home, I guess it's not that frequent right now. What scares me is the fact that I could still loose it. And I really don't want to do that, Tobias. I really don't. Especially not now, because it seems so much more like a living person now."

"I don't think it's going to happen, Tris." I take a deep breath. "But, maybe talk to your doctor about it? Maybe he could help you somehow."

…..

By the time we get to the practice, Tris seems to have calmed down a bit. The small waiting room inside the practice doesn't hold many people today, but the people that are in there seem to try their best not to stare at a suddenly- pregnant Beatrice Prior. I guess we're still the talk of the city, after all. Hey, if we weren't before, we will be now. Tris doesn't seem to mind their stares that much, though. She's really good at holding in her emotions when she needs to.

She's gained nearly fifteen pounds, that's what the scale says when she steps on. The nurse tells us that that's perfectly normal, a perfectly average amount of weight for a woman to gain up until this point in her pregnancy, a little less than normal actually. Tris doesn't seem thrilled, but she doesn't comment about it.

It's a long time until the doctor comes into our room, the air tensely nervous in the small, quiet square box that we're in. Tris sits on the crinkly paper of a bed, her eyes closed and a hand pressed to the underside of her stomach. Her jaw's still clenched.

"Is it moving again?" I ask her quietly.

"Sporadically," she whispers, opening her eyes suddenly when the doctor comes into the room.

"Well hey guys," he says in a friendly voice, closing the door behind him. "How are you two today?" He says, taking Tris' chart out from a slot in the door.

"Decent enough, I guess," Tris says, a forced smile on her lips.

"Good, good," he says, hurriedly scanning the chart. A smile forms onto his lips. "Seems like you gained a good bit of weight Tris, that's good," he mutters to himself, wetting his thumb to flip the pages more easily. "No more morning sickness problems?" He asks and she shakes her head no. "Okay…. well I guess I'll go ahead and get the ultrasound ou-"

"Actually, there have been a few complications recently," I interrupt, Tris looking down to stare at her hands.

"Hmm? What happened?" The doctor says, a serious expression on his face.

"I, uh…." She gathers some courage to speak. "I started to feel the baby move, recently."

"That's normal," the doctor says and shrugs, nodding his head a little bit. "It's completely normal for you to feel it at twenty weeks."

"No, I mean…"

"The movement scares her," I add while her face blushes from embarrassment.

"Why does it scare you, Tris?" He asks, disregarding me.

"Because-" I begin but the doctor's hand cuts me off.

"If you'll let her explain, please," he says with a sideways glance at me and I immediately feel embarrassed. Even more, I feel like a huge jerk. I haven't been patient enough with her today.

I internally thank the doctor for putting me in my place, despite my blushing cheeks.

Tris looks at me for a second before she begins talking, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

"Ever since I knew I was pregnant, I was scared of losing it," she whispers, her hands clasped together. "I've been slowly coming to terms with everything, very slowly, but now it just seems like it's real. Now… now it's a real person. I feel like I know this one better than I did the other one, just because of the length that I've carried it so far. But I know that if I have a miscarriage now, it would be unbearable."

TRIS POV…..

The doctor gives me a long stare for a moment, biting his lip like I so often do and seeming to look for an answer. There's a tense silence in the room for a solid ten seconds.

"Okay," he says, solemnly nodding his head. "That's understandable, seeing as you've lost almost everything that you've gained before, right?" He asks and says at the same time and I nod. He smiles for a second, a sad, solemn smile. "Although I wouldn't say it's good, it's perfectly understandable considering your background. And," he adds, rolling out a portable ultrasound, "you are kind of emotionally unstable right now, even more so than usual. All women get emotionally unstable during pregnancy, at one point or another. You, honey, have a double dose of this problem, seeing as you've had a rough past." He takes a deep breath. "I know you hope that I can fix this for you. I can't," he whispers and I frown a bit. "The only thing I can show you is how well your baby is doing right now and hope that that'll ease your mind."

I'm silent for a moment while he gets out a gel applicator and sets up the ultrasound.

"Okay?"

I nod.

"And Tobias, don't you dare stop trying to understand," he says roughly as he turns his head, more roughly than he usually speaks to me. It's like he knows exactly what I'm thinking. "I know you don't understand. Don't stop trying to."

All Tobias does is nod his head, forcing himself to look the doctor in the eye. He shifts his eyes to mine for a moment before he quickly retreats them away. I feel bad for him, it's probably hard for him to go through this as well. Just for different reasons.

….

"Hmm, you're a little smaller than you should be at twenty weeks, Tris," he says, massaging the slight amount of hair on his jawline as he gives me a glance when I pull up my shirt. "It's nothing to be worried about, you may just have a small baby. But are you sure you're eating well, no problems there?"

"No, I've been eating like crazy," I say, frowning slightly.

"Okay, that's fine. Like I said, I bet you just have a tiny baby. On second thought, forget I said anything," he says and gives me a slight smile to put my mind at ease.

….

"Alrighty then…." the doc says, massaging my lower stomach with the weird little ultrasound tip. I jump when the cold gel hits my skin. "Sorry, it's cold," he says absentmindedly. "I don't think I've ever given you an ultrasound before, is this really your first one?" He asks.

"Yeah, it is." I don't think I got one last time either, I add silently.

"That's weird, you were supposed to get one a few months ago." He shrugs. "Guess they forgot, that's unusual." He stares intently at the ultrasound screen, Tobias standing up eagerly so he can see as well. He's seemed to perk some.

"Aha," he says after a while. "Finally found you, you squirmy little thing."

"I could've told you that," I mumble, feeling it now, and both he and Tobias laugh.

"Well, here's your proof. Perfectly healthy," the doctor states, a hand rested on his hip as I stare at the black and white ultrasound, a picture making up a very distinctive- looking, albeit small, human being. "Look a lot like a human now, doesn't it?"

"Oh God," I whisper, a hand over my mouth. I hear Tobias sniff behind me. "It's a real person. A real… person." A pause. "Are you sure it's healthy?" I slur out of my mouth, no spaces in between the words. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Tris. Tests have been run, charts have been taken. I've made sure to double check the charts this time… I swear to you," he says, placing a hand on his heart. "This one's fine."

I clench my teeth for moment and rest my head back. "So does this mean that you are giving me permission to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy?"

"Not just permission, but orders to," he says and smiles. "It's going to be hard enough for you to enjoy it anyway, it just gets rougher from here on up." I cringe.

"Oh, hey!" the doctor says. "I almost forgot, do you guys want to know the sex of the baby?"

"I, um…" I mumble as I look over at Tobias. He shrugs his shoulders and I sigh. "Why not just keep it a surprise," I say more than I ask. I think I subconsciously do this because I'm still afraid, though.

"Alright," the doctor says with a curt nod, not questioning my decision. "I'll print out a picture of the ultrasound real quick…" and he does, handing it to us.

"Here ya go, I'll see you guys in a few weeks. Take care, alright?"

"Sure," I say to him, feeling a load lift off of my shoulders. Of course, yes, I'm going to be scared. I'm going to be scared for the rest of this pregnancy. But now I'm a much lighter shade of scared than I was before.

…..

"Tris, I'm sorry," Tobias says as we're walking home, a strong autumn wind blowing my hair sideways.

"Don't mention it," I say and he gives me a look. "No, really. Don't. I've given you a hard time, I understand that. I understand that it's hard for you just like it is for me. Give yourself a break, really," I breathe to him, and he exhales deeply. I see him nod his head ever so slightly.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," he says, wrapping an arm around my back. I just snort at him exasperatedly.

…..

It's not many days later that we get a call, early in the morning even before sun begins to rise. I can hear the gusty winds press up against the side of our house, tossing the ground's grassy hair on the plain. Tobias seems asleep when the phone goes off but his eyes open sleepily. He scowls deeply and closes his eyes again, sighing, "It's too early for phone calls."

"Don't worry, I've got it," I whisper in his ear, already awake anyway. I just couldn't seem to sleep well last night, the half a book I read my clear testimony.

"Thanks," I hear as I pad over from the bed to the door, the door to the kitchen in the early, cold morning darkness. The cold linoleum tiles underneath my warm feet sound sticky in the kitchen.

I wait for the answering machine to go off before I answer it, because we don't have caller ID and I'd rather not be surprised by a random stranger at four- thirty in the morning. Honestly, there's not really any need for it, we seldom get calls.

Beep.

I hope I got the right number, I hear a feminine voice on the other line, sounding tired. Um… so, I'm sorry I called so early but this was the only free moment I had to spare until this afternoon, so I was wondering-

I pick up the phone with a "Hello?" I'm pretty sure I know who it is.

"Hey, Tris," the voice answers back in a friendly tone, and I manage a slight smile.

"What's the matter?" I ask her and her response is immediate.

"Oh no no, nothing's the matter," she replies. "I was just calling to ask if I could drop by sometime today, that's all. Catch up and everything, but I know it's sudden. If you guys are busy, that's fine-"

"Oh no. Actually we're both off of work today Evelyn, so you can come over whenever it's convenient for you." I shrug. "It's fine. But Tobias is out like a light right now, so I'll tell him."

"Oh, sorry about that," she says, her voice a little too apologetic. "Tell him I said hello when he wakes up, will you?"

"Yeah, no problem. Actually, we have kind of a surprise to show you when you get here," I add on the spot, hinting to my pregnancy while hiding the nervousness in my stomach. Crap, we forgot to tell her I was pregnant. But things were so hectic…

"That's great! Now I have something to look forward to this afternoon," she says, a smile in her voice. "I'll talk to you later, Tris."

"Okay, bye," I say and hang up the phone quickly. Still can't tell if she was massively lying or just really doesn't know that I'm pregnant… probably lying. But I guess we'll have to see, I think and sigh deeply, feeling intermittent flutters in my stomach. The only way I'd be able to hide that I'm showing, even though I'm not all that huge, is to wear a baggy sweatshirt. Of course that would only be for a little while until we broke the news to her. But still it's going to be a bit suspicious.

"Shh, shh, it's okay," I croon to my stomach as I press a hand to it's underside, the flutters acting up. "I'm sorry baby, I'm just a bit nervous. I'll be okay soon."

When I get back in bed, Tobias is fast asleep again.

"Hey, Tobias," I whisper once I've situated myself next to him. "Tobias."

"Wha tis it?" he slurs back at me, opening his eyes halfway.

"Looks like Evelyn's coming over this afternoon, that was her that just called." I snap my fingers. "Oh, and she says hi."

His eyes suddenly widen. "We didn't tell her about-" he cuts off, a glance down at my swollen lower abdomen.

I take a deep breath. "I know, I know." I pause. "I was thinking that I could just wear a sweatshirt or something to hide it for the time being, until we tell her… If she doesn't already know," I say and Tobias grunts. "It's not going to be extremely easy to hide, but I'm not huge yet so a sweatshirt should do the trick. For a short amount of time, at least," I say and sigh, a hand once again finding it's way onto my stomach, my thumb rubbing small circles above my belly button.

"You okay?" Tobias suddenly asks. "I mean, this isn't putting too much pressure on you, is it?"

"No, not at all," I whisper, shrugging. "I'm just a little nervous, so naturally the baby is too. But I'm fine, we're fine." I give Tobias a warm smile. "It's just a squirmy baby."

To my surprise, Tobias gets this quiet look in his eyes and gently removes my own hand from my stomach, replacing it with his.

"So… apparently it can hear us now," he whispers, not looking me in the eye. His hand is so much bigger than my own, so much warmer than mine usually is. Although the fluttering does calm down some, I can feel my cheeks pinking.

"Does that… help?" he asks, looking up at me expectantly.

"It does, actually," I whisper, snuggling closer to him with his hand still resting on my stomach. "It's weird; I haven't been able to sleep all night and here you come in at four- thirty in the morning and make me extremely exhausted." I yawn. "I think we've found another thing to do when I can't sleep, though," I whisper, pressed up against his chest. He takes a deep breath and I can feel his lungs expand, his mouth whispering, "Good." In a few minutes the swimming in my stomach has all but ceased and I can soon feel myself slipping into darkness; his dark, sleepy scent pressed against my nose.

…

"Hello?" Tobias says loudly when he hears a knock on the door, flinging a shirt over his wet frame. We woke up a while ago but sort of procrastinated getting ready, or Tobias did at least. I'm sitting at the coffee table, playing with a cup of tea as I try to settle the nerves and flutters in my stomach underneath my too- big sweatshirt. I don't know why, but even though Evelyn and I have made our peace a long time ago, the thought of being around her still agitates me a bit.

"It'd be really helpful if you'd calm down, kid," I mutter under my breath with an irritated glance down at my stomach.

"Oh hey Evelyn," Tobias says as he opens the door, his buzzed hair almost dry already.

"Hello Tobias, how are you?"

"I'm fine," he says politely, a small smile on his face.

"Hey," I say and wave from my spot in the kitchen, and Evelyn spots me immediately. She smiles and waves back, although she doesn't stare at me. Maybe she doesn't know….

As soon as she and Tobias walk into the kitchen, I notice the dark circles underneath her eyes. She looks content enough, happy even, just really tired.

"Do you want some coffee or something, Evelyn? You look exhausted."

"No, no, I'm fine," she says, waving a hand dismissively. "I am tired, though, I've been up since before I called you two this morning."

"Really?" I say, a slightly worried look in my eyes.

"I'm fine, though," she quickly adds. "I've just been up to my neck in paperwork. And Tobias," she whispers. "Your ear." Tobias runs a hand over the jagged scar. "Are you okay after what happened with the military? I was informed you were fine, but still…"

"I'm okay," he says, a subtle nod and a warm smile on his lips, running a finger over his scarred ear. "You really do keep tabs on me, don't you?"

"I try my best to keep tabs on both of you," she says a little awkwardly, sitting down at the table across from me. "But I've been in my office for the past week almost consecutively, I haven't talked to nearly anyone. The paperwork has left me up to my neck in anxiety and sleep deprivation."

That's why she doesn't know.

"I'm sorry," Tobias says, sitting down in a chair beside me. I have to fight myself from putting a hand on my abdomen. "But other than that, everything's been fine, right?"

"Yeah, everything's actually pretty peaceful besides that."

"I wish I could say that about us right now," I say, sighing. "It's been hectic beyond belief around here, starting from when Tobias got back from the mission."

"Really?" she asks. "What's happened that's been so hectic? Are you guys okay?"

Tobias looks over at me, his expression concerned as I clench my teeth and clasp my hands together.

So this is what it all boils down to, huh? If anything, all the hardships I've been through the past years have made me stronger. Mentally. I don't run away from things- I never have. But I'm sure not going to run away from this now. Not Evelyn. I'm stronger than who I was before.

"No, what's wrong really?" Evelyn says, her mouth slightly parted and hands clenching the table. "Tobias?" she asks but Tobias just shakes his head. I hear him whisper, "This is something she'd probably like to tell you."

I take a deep breath, finally looking up. My cheeks are blushing but my jaw is set and I'm determined right now, completely determined.

"Evelyn, I'm fine," I whisper and she exhales. "But we haven't really been talking to you for the past few months, because things have just been awful. I'm sorry about that."

"No, it's fine," she says, her eyes hard and focused completely on the problem at hand. "I understand that you two both have your own lives. I'm not upset."

I take one more breath. "I….. Evelyn, I'm pregnant," I whisper, not looking up at her for a minute. Tobias scoots his chair over so he's next to me, intertwining his hand with mine finally, and I don't pull away.

When I do look up, Evelyn's eyes are glassy and her posture is rigid like she normally gets when she's trying to hold something in.

"It's okay Evelyn, I cried a lot too," I say, and her posture finally breaks. She rests her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. I can't really tell if they're happy or sad tears, but it kind of makes me uncomfortable to see someone like her crying.

I imagine she's crying because she feels like her son's finally come back to her and she's finally made some peace with the woman that loves him so. She's probably crying because the full force has hit her. She's going to be a grandma, if the baby survives. I bet she's shocked and unbelievably happy, at least I hope that's what it is.

I go ahead and stand up, taking my hand out of Tobias' hand.

"Hey, it's okay," I say, pulling a chair next to Evelyn, patting her on the back a couple times. I tell her the whole story, beginning with me at the orchard and ending with me back home, finally broken and trying to tape the cracks together. Tobias listens, a small, warm smile on his face. He just listens, never commenting.

A minute after I finish my story, a hand resting once again on my abdomen, she looks up. Her eyes flicker from my eyes to my stomach and back.

"So… what do you think?" I ask her, my expression slightly worried.

"I'm really happy for you," she says, her face flushed now as well from tearing up. "But… I thought that you two weren't going to have kids."

I rub a hand on the back of my hair and Tobias chuckles. "It's was an accident," I reply, unable of doing anything but smiling at the moment.

"So how far along are you, Tris?" she asks.

"I, um… a little over four months," I reply airily and she gives me a snort.

"Oh! Well okay then," she smiles and laughs. "I see what you meant then when you said you haven't been talking to me for a while."

"Yeah…"

"You don't look pregnant, Tris, you're lucky."

"Actually, I do. Wait, hold on," I say and slip my sweatshirt off, revealing me in a t-shirt. My swollen stomach is pretty noticeable right now, and I hear her go, "oh."

"Yeah…" I pause. "The doctor said it's a little one, but it squirms a lot- especially when I'm nervous. And it's been a nerve racking day."

"I bet it has," she says thoughtfully.

…..

Evelyn stays for about an hour, I think. After her initial shock is over, she hugs us both and tells us congratulations, that she's so happy for us. I'm just glad that I was able to tell her.

When she leaves, Tobias hugs me for a long time, his feet making prints beside mine in the blue carpet.

"What is it, Tobias? Are you okay?" I whisper, his arms folded around me.

"I'm fine," he whispers. "It's just… I saw the determined you today, you know? You've been so fragile for the longest time, and I'm finally seeing you turn back into yourself. It's a good feeling, that's all."

"Tobias, I'm not who I used to be," I say, looking up at him. "But I do think that I'm actually getting stronger. I mean, if all that I've been through in the past through months hasn't made me stronger, I don't know what will."

Until next chapter!

~Beff Monster