Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect
A/N - Thank you to everyone for the lovely comments, well wishes and feedback on my last chapter. It was certainly very welcome. Thank you all for reading along and sticking with me over my rough holiday period. For anyone interested, I did write a very very smutty Gina/Kaidan oneshot that involves some rope bondage. Okay. Lots of rope bondage and sex. But it's very, very loving and very them. I didn't post it here, but if you'd like the AO3 link I'm happy to send it your way - just let me know in a message or in your review.
This chapter is shorter than I wanted, but my dog is very sick and I'm a little stressed. I'll make the next chapter a little longer than usual to make up for it! In the meantime, enjoy!
The heartbeat of the Normandy stretched around Shepard, filling the air with a deep vibrating thrum that she felt right to her very core. She timed her breaths to match the pulses, her hands curling and uncurling around the cold metal railing around the drive core. With each deep breath she tried to calm the tension twisting in her stomach, the waves of rolling fear that washed over her, and the anxiety that had wrapped clammy hands around her throat.
She hadn't gone to see Liara like she'd told Kaidan she would, instead she'd retreated down to engineering to gather her thoughts.
Gina sighed; she didn't want to talk to Liara and listen to her accusations. Nor did she want to see that look of revulsion and fury on her face again. Cowardly though it was, she wanted to run away and pretend it wasn't happening. To bury her head in the sand instead of drowning in the embarrassment she'd inevitably feel talking to her friend about something so intimate and personal.
What she did with Kaidan, and what Kaidan did to her, was no one else's business!
"Shepard?"
Oh crap!
Gina turned at the sound of Liara's voice and almost flinched at the carefully neutral expression on the asari's face. It wasn't the face of her long-time friend, it was the face of the Shadow Broker; the face of the woman she'd found on Illium dealing information. Her eyes were hard and cold, determined and angry.
"I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you, EDI told me you were here." Liara came closer, the blue light of the drive core playing over her face.
Shepard swallowed and tried to calm the rolling of her stomach. "It's fine, I was going to come and see you anyway."
Eventually.
Facing Liara and explaining her relationship with Kaidan was something she didn't want to do. She'd never told anyone about this side of her before, and she hadn't expected to ever have to – but the way Liara had looked at Kaidan, so full of disgust and anger, meant that she had no choice. She needed to straighten this mess out and explain to her friend that she and Kaidan were two consenting adults who were in love, and nothing more.
Liara sighed, closing her eyes and pressing a hand to her face. She looked angry and upset, and just as uncomfortable as Gina felt.
"Liara?" She prompted as the silence stretched. "Do you want to talk about what you saw?" Gina took a step towards her and was unprepared when Liara's head snapped violently upwards, her eyes wide and teary.
"Talk about it?" Liara thundered, her biotics snapping through the air like live electricity. "Talk about it?"
Gina opened and closed her mouth wordlessly, before finally finding her voice. "Well, yes. I thought we could talk about-"
"There's nothing to talk about! He's hurting you," Liara bit out angrily, her voice vibrating with barely contained rage. She crossed the room in two steps and her hands hovered in the air over Gina's shoulders, as though frightened to touch her. "My god, Shepard. If you'd told me-"
Gina shook her head and tried to step away, but her back hit the railing. The room closed in around her, the noise and light that she'd taken refuge in suddenly oppressive and overwhelming.
Liara had it all wrong – she thought she was a victim.
"Liara, no." She caught one of Liara's hands mid-air. "Kaidan's not hurting me."
Silence fell and for a handful of heartbeats her friend stared at her, blue eyes boring into green. She could see the disgust and confusion swirling in their depths, a rejection of everything she was hearing. Liara already thought she knew the truth, and admirable though it was for her to want to stand up for her like this, it wasn't necessary.
Her friend sucked in a breath and pulled her hand free. "I saw the bruises. I saw the … God. I don't even want to think about it. It's monstrous! He's using you! You don't need to lie to protect him!"
"Will you stop and listen? Kaidan doesn't hurt me." Gina let out a frustrated sigh and pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. "Do you really think I'd let someone do something to me that I didn't want?"
Liara's shook her head, rejecting her words. "Of course not, Shepard! I know you're strong. But are you seriously trying to tell me that Kaidan didn't do that to you?" She let out a shaky breath. "I'm not stupid!"
Shepard groaned and buried her face in her hands. "No, the marks are from him, but only because … I asked him to."
Silence fell and she looked up to find Liara watching her, confused.
"Liara, Kaidan and I … we like this kind of thing. I like it." She waited, watching as Liara's thoughts slid over her face like quicksand, but passing so fast that she couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Do you understand? He's not hurting me, I promise you. We love each other."
Liara stared at her for the space of ten heartbeats, each of which Gina felt thud hard in her chest, then she sighed and the anger visibly drained from her body.
"You love him even though he ... ?" Realisation dawned on her face and something flashed through her eyes that she wasn't quite quick enough to hide; an emotion that looked suspiciously like disappointment. "I thought he was … ," she trailed off, embarrassed. "Shepard, I'm so sorry! I thought he was hurting you, I didn't know that you… that he … ." Liara couldn't seem to finish her sentence, and she flushed as she took a step forward and seized her hand. "I saw the bruises and I assumed the worst. I didn't know humans did this sort of thing too."
"Too?" Gina was torn between laughing with relief and groaning in frustration as her adrenaline drained away. "Does that mean that asari … ?" she raised an eyebrow
Liara looked away, clearly uncomfortable, and twined her hands together. "Well, I don't know much about that sort of thing, but there are several asari consorts who specialise in Ber'ah Setah." The lavender flush on her cheeks deepened further. "That's what we call it; Strange Love."
"Strange Love?" She raised an eyebrow. "I like that. So does that mean you're not going to run screaming from me? Because when you looked at me upstairs you looked like-"
"No, never! You're my friend!" Liara abruptly pulled her into a hug, her biotics tickling where their skin touched. "I'm so embarrassed!" she breathed against her shoulder. "You must think I'm a complete idiot!"
"Well, not an idiot, but sometimes you do seem rather naïve. I just didn't want you to get the wrong idea about Kaidan and I." Shepard grinned as Liara pulled back from the hug and swatted her on the arm. "Ow! What was that for?"
Liara huffed, but her lips curled into a smile. "I may only be 109 years old, but I'm hardly naïve."
"Okay, okay!" She held up her hands in mock surrender. "You're right." There was another longer pause, and Gina sighed. "Thanks for understanding, Liara. It's not easy to talk about this."
"You're my friend, Shepard. I just want you to be happy. And if it makes you feel any better," Liara started to walk away and paused to glance over her shoulder, her eyes dancing mischievously. "I promise not to use my position as the Shadow Broker to sell your secret even though I'm sure I could make a great deal of credits."
Gina laughed and hurried to catch up with her. "Just so long as you don't use your position as Shadow Broker to sell Kaidan's secret either."
The asari flashed her an innocent look as they left the engineering section of the ship. "Me? Do something like that? Never! Well," Liara paused and tapped a finger against her lips. "Unless he really hurt you again, Horizon style, then I'd-"
"Flay him alive with your mind?" Gina chuckled at her friend's indignant gasp as they got into the lift. "Oh come on, I just know you're still using that line on people."
Liara narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said airily. "I'd never make such a threat."
"No, of course not," Shepard agreed with a small grin. "Never."
They parted ways on crew deck; Liara hurrying back to her room looking like an extremely embarrassed asari trying to play it cool, while Gina continued to the CIC, eternally grateful that the conversation hadn't been as painful as she'd expected. Though how she would ever look Liara in the eye again without blushing, she wasn't sure.
"Joker?" she asked as tapped out a quick message to let Kaidan know she'd talked to Liara. "How long until we reach the Far Rim?"
There was a pause before the pilot answered. "Another seven hours give or take. You could probably get some shut eye, Commander. EDI can wake you when we're an hour out."
Gina considered for a moment; she was exhausted and sleep sounded good.
"Thanks Joker, I'd appreciate it."
She flicked through her omni-tool screen and opened the message Hackett had sent just after her mission on Eden Prime. It was short and to the point, congratulating her on acquiring Javik from Cerberus' clutches, and informing her that that the quarians were offering to help with the war against the reapers.
Only they wanted to meet with the Alliance first.
More specifically they wanted to meet with Commander Shepard.
Gina sighed and returned to her cabin. Hopefully the quarians just wanted to meet as a formality before they joined the war effort and not to broker some sort of deal. All the politicking she'd gone through with the Krogans, Salarians and Turians had exhausted her. Getting the quarians onside with no strings attached would be a blessing.
The cabin was empty when she got there and Gina stripped off and climbed into bed alone, fatigue hanging off her like a cloak. The stress of dealing with Liara had left her exhausted, and she drifted off almost as soon as her head hit the pillow – waking only briefly when Kaidan finally made it to bed and kissed her goodnight.
She slept badly and dreamed of strange things; of Liara shouting at her in High Thessian and the quarians arguing as pointlessly as they had at Tali's trial all those months ago. By the time EDI woke her, a lump had settled into the pit of her stomach and she dragged herself out of bed without enthusiasm. She woke Kaidan and stuffed her exhausted body into her dress blues as though she was heading to her execution instead of a meeting with quarian admirals.
Try as she might, Gina couldn't shake the uncomfortable lurking suspicion that something bad was about to happen. It was a feeling she was familiar with, having spent most of her adult life stumbling from one crisis to another, and the closer they got to the Far Rim, the more certain she was that the Normandy was about to walk into a shitstorm.
"You okay?" Kaidan asked over breakfast, swilling down black coffee as though his life depended on it. "You look exhausted and you kept mumbling in your sleep."
Gina nodded and swallowed down another bite of her MRE: it tasted like sawdust.
"Yeah," she told him as she snagged his cup of coffee and took a long swallow. "Just slept badly."
He took the cup back when she offered it. "Everything went okay with Liara? I wanted to talk to you about it last night, but you seemed exhausted when I came to bed."
"It went fine." Gina's cheeks burned at the memory of the awkward conversation. "Though I don't think she's ever going to see either of us in the same light again." Kaidan chuckled and she waited for him to stop before she added. "I've just got a bad feeling about the quarians."
He considered her for a long moment, frowning. "What kind of bad feeling? You don't trust them?"
She shrugged. "It's not that exactly, it's more that they've been so quiet lately. No one has seen the fleet or had contact with them for months, and then all of a sudden they contact us wanting to help with the war effort, but only after they meet with me? Something just feels off."
Kaidan nodded. "You think they want something in return?"
"I don't know." Gina finished her rations off with a few bites and stood up from the table. "But we'll find out soon enough."
They returned their trays and made their way to the War Room to wait for the Admirals and, hopefully, get some help with the war. After all, the reapers were synthetic and no one knew more about fighting synthetics than the quarians.
Unfortunately, what the Admirals had to say didn't improve her mood at all.
A/N - Thanks for reading - remember if you'd like to read the smutty Gina/Kaidan bondage oneshot, let me know! Positive thoughts for my doggy are appreciated!