Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope you enjoy it.

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Two weeks later

Reid sat nervously on the couch, his legs crossed and his head down. A young woman walked into the room and sat across from him, she had a small notebook in her hands and placed a recorder on the table. Today was his first therapy session. He played with his sleeves as he watched the woman uncap her pen and looked at him. He looked up at her to be greeted with a comforting smile.

"Hello Spencer, my name is Dr O'Hara. I'm here to help you get better. I want to assure you that this is a safe place and that everything we discuss is between us. The only time I would break the confidentiality would be if I had strong reason to believe that your life was in danger or that you were a harm to yourself. Our sessions are confidential and they are designed to help you work through the issues that you have. I've been briefed about what you have been through but I want you to tell me what you have been through in your own words. You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to but the more you get out, the better you will feel. Just talking can help," Dr O'Hara explained gently. "We can start when you are ready."

Reid brushed his hair behind his ears and took a deep breath.

"I'm a profiler so I know how this all works, since my kidnapping though, some things don't make as much sense as they used to. I don't want you to think I'm crazy," Reid said as looked at her.

"Spencer, I don't think you are crazy. I do know that you have been through a traumatic experience recently and that your are still recovering. The body heals faster from the mind. The mind is fragile and when it has been harmed, it needs help to heal. These sessions will help you heal. Spencer, I want you to tell me about your kidnapping. I want to know how you feel about it and, in your own words, I want you to tell me how you've been affected by it."

"It's pretty obvious how it affected me," Reid snapped, he placed his hand over his mouth. He pulled it away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Spencer," she smiled. "Why did you snap at me? Where did that anger come from?"

Reid bit his lower lip for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I'm always angry. I can't control it sometimes. I'm angry at everything that has happened to me. I hate the way that I sometimes ramble and ramble till I have to be stopped. I hate that my rambling makes no sense. I don't even remember what I was talking about sometimes. It hurts, the anger hurts and I can't stop it. I'm angry at my team when I know I should not be angry with them."

"Why are you angry at your team?"

"I'm angry because they care about me too much. I'm holding them back in their lives," Reid said in a quiet voice. "My friend, Garcia, takes care of me and she shouldn't have to. I miss seeing her smile. She never smiles anymore or even playfully flirts with Morgan. It's my fault. She lost all her happiness. I took it away."

"You care about this Garcia very much," Dr O'Hara said gently.

Reid nodded and hugged his arms to himself, he felt uncomfortable sharing what he was feeling but he couldn't keep it inside anymore. He was around the team all the time and as much as they wanted to help him and talk to him about everything that had happened, he couldn't tell them everything.

"Why do you think it is your fault?" she asked.

"It's my fault because I'm like this. I'm a shell of who I used to be. All I remember is pain during my kidnapping, every moment in that horrible place was filled with fear and pain. I can't stop picturing my friend Morgan being stabbed and left for dead. I tried to help him but I couldn't. I fought and fought but I couldn't save him. Instead, I let myself be dragged away and strapped to a table. I let them screw my head up because I didn't fight them enough. Weak, weak weak, weak..."

"Spencer, come back. You are safe here. No-one thinks you are weak," Dr O'Hara called. Reid brought himself back to reality and rubbed his eyes in fustration.

"I'm sorry, I don't know when I lose control and go off track," Reid said.

"Don't worry, Spencer. Do you want to continue talking about your kidnapping?"

Reid nodded. "I didn't fight hard enough and it's the reason they won. They held me down onto the bed, hit me and them after that all I remember is pain and then nothing until I woke up. I'm the reason everyone is so miserable."

"How do you know that?" Dr O'Hara asked. "Spencer, you had no control over the events that happened during your kidnapping. You were restrained by the men that took you and I understand that they used drugs on you on two occasions. Drugs can cause horrible things to happen and they can dampen our senses and confuse our actions. Have you spoken to your friends about any of this?"

"No, I want to but I can't. Not after everything they have done for me," Reid said. "I love them and they are my family and all I want to do is see them happy. They can't be happy as long as I am around. I want to get better but I don't want to hold them back. It's not fair on them."

"Have you considered staying in a specialised home for mental health? One that would help you and take care of you till you got better," Dr O'Hara asked.

"No!" Spencer shouted louder than he had intended. "I can't be placed in a home or institution, I won't let anyone put me in there. I can't be like my mum. I just can't."

"Calm down, Spencer," Dr O'hara coached. "You don't have to go anywhere that you don't want to go. It was only a question."

"You won't put me in a place like that?" Spencer questioned, his body ready to run out of the room if he needed to.

"No, I won't. You are safe here, Spencer. I'm here to help you. I won't do anything that will harm your progress."

Reid relaxed his body back into the couch and tapped his knee nervously.

"Spencer, I want you to tell me how the events you have been through have affected you. The more you talk about it, the better you will feel," she smiled.

"I'm scared of being honest with you. I've trusted people before and they have hurt me. They have tried to kill me. How can I trust you?" Reid asked carefully.

"Trust is something we have to give carefully. Spencer, you can tell me what you want. I promise that you can trust me and at any moment you think that trust is gone, you can asked for another therapist. I'm asking that you trust me because all I want to do is help you get back to normal. Do you think you can do that?"

"I can try," Reid said, his voice shaking gently.

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