Author's Note: Well, I am in shock right now, but here it is: The Final Chapter. This is very bittersweet - I am sad to see this end, yet proud to have completed and revised it just the same, and so happy with what it has become. Writing this has been an amazing journey; this is my first Phic since I was a teenager, and the first I've completed at all. For me, this is monumental. And for that, I want to thank each and every one of you for being here with me for this journey. Seriously, y'all are amazing - your support, kindness, and help made this piece so wonderful and has made me smile on countless occasions. Thank you thank you thank you! I love you all and am so grateful to have had this opportunity to make new friends, talk to other writers, and get to learn so many new things from so many great people. :') The title comes from the song "The Promise" by Tracey Chapman. Finally, a quick reminder to check out my profile here for information on upcoming works, of which there are many. :D Remember to read, review, and as always, enjoy this my darlings!

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Epilogue - Although I've Travelled Far

Erik

I had been your angel once before, at the beginning of our time together so long ago. How apt that I appear to you now only as a specter in the end - a shadow, an unheard whisper echoing through your heart. But though you cannot see me, I am still here. I am with you every day, my darling. This brilliant summer afternoon is no different, and that singular fact is extraordinary to me even now.

As I lay dying that January morning, I had to wonder what would become of me when all was said and done. I could not bring myself to be afraid in those final moments, yet I could not ignore the reality of who I had been before being granted the peaceful life with you that I longed for. In my youth - forced to live as a nomad, beaten into submission and witnessing the scarring of my body and soul more violently with each passing day - I was sure that I would never be granted the mercy I would miraculously come to know. For so long had I been rendered resentful of the world, afraid to relinquish my anger in favor of the happiness which was entirely foreign to me and wholly ignorant of my own humanity. I was certain that I had forfeited it to the demons that haunted me, that my bleak origins and shameful actions had warped my soul beyond redemption or repair. But when the moment of my death arrived, the sins of my past no longer mattered - they had long since been forgiven.

It was the man I became for you which allowed me this unparallelled existence, Christine - the man I found within myself through your eyes that ultimately saved me from an eternal darkness. I'm so grateful to you. Before we met, I had not truly known what it meant to love, to be happy. I had not understood what it meant to live. I was compelled to survive only by my stubbornness to be the master of my own fate simply to spite my aggressors. In that darkness, I believe that I truly was a monster, that I was teetering on the edge of madness and damnation with no hope of respite. I hadn't believed that I could find any modicum of redemption - nor that I deserved it - for I was too consumed by my madness and anger to care that I was only a shadow of a man. My heart was beating, my mind churning and my spirit full of longing for a dream just beyond my reach, yet my soul was lost - too far away from me to hold on to the desire to fight with any measure of sincerity. I was hollow, bitter - walking the earth dead to myself. I was not alive until we met, until your bravery and compassion made me understand that there was more to me than the darkness in which I sheltered myself for so long. You saved my life, you know. Meeting you was the best thing that could have happened to me. The moment we met, you saved me - proved to me time and time again that there was goodness in the world after all - and I can only pray that I was able to return to you even a fraction of the strength you gave to me. Without you, I do not believe I would have found it for myself.

But I am at peace now - granted an absolution that I had never expected - here in this timeless and enthralling place beyond the comprehension of the world. There is no pain, no fear, no suffering - gone are the vices that once drove me to lunacy, replaced by the understanding that I ultimately was not meant to be an eternal prisoner to my suffering. I am free. And like the life you shared with me, it is more than I ever thought I deserved.

I smile at our little Evelyn as you hold her in your arms, heartened by my love for her and scarcely able to believe how much she's grown since her birth in the autumn. Beside me, Estelle smiles as well, glancing at me before running away to join Charles and his friends in their raucous game of make-believe. Like me, she is entirely unseen by the other children, but that fact does not hamper her enjoyment - it never does. She simply wants to be with them, to share in their merriment as she would have in life; she revels in the opportunity granted to her now. I want you to know that she is well, Christine. She is so happy - even perhaps just a bit more so since she and I have been reunited. I'm grateful to know her now that we are together; there hadn't been a day that passed since we lost her in which I had not thought of her.

But now, my darling, how I miss you.

I am content just to be by your side, to witness and become lost in wonderment of the courage you possess and to fall in love with you all over again - but even so, all the while I wish that I could speak with you, that you could hear me give voice to the truths in my heart. I'm with you - always a breath away - yet there is nothing I can do to bring myself back to the world entirely. And so I must gratify myself with your presence, with words of love that only I can hear. Being so close to you and yet so impossibly distant is my only regret now. Sometimes I cannot help wondering if that is my final atonement for the blood on my hands - to reach for you and call your name, only for you to pause an instant yet never truly respond. But I think better of the notion each time it occurs. This is not a punishment - rather, it is an immense comfort to me to continue to see you alive and well, to hear the laughter of our children and know all the while that every moment of your lives are worth the price I paid. I have no regrets in what I had to do, in the way my life ended. I know you question it even now, that you still cry for me in the silent darkness between dreams and waking, and I long to help you to truly understand, that you may see the grander purpose of the events which came to pass. But even if I could somehow reach you, it is not my place to say; it is not something meant to be known to you now. Yet I wish I could say that to you - to ease your burdens even if only in the smallest of ways.

You still mourn for me - you rediscovered your strength and forged your resolve in the autumn and on through the winter, yet even so I know that some instances are more difficult than others to remember the courage you possess. It pains me that you doubt yourself when that strength threatens to escape you. But I know that you will never lose it entirely - that fact is of a great comfort to me, and I pray that this unspoken truth will continue to serve you well as time goes by. You must live your life in spite of the pain your grief elicits in those darker moments, when you feel that all hope is lost; you must be happy. Do not lose yourself in your bereavement, my love. Your soul is too beautiful to cast to the winds - protect it, bring it to life once again with the dawning of each new day. Do not try to rush through the years in the hopes of fending off further reminders of your grief; if you do, you will surely fall victim to your life passing you by. I cannot allow that. You gave me my life - I want you to have yours. The best is yet to come for you, and I promise you, I promise you that you can endure our separation as you watch your life unfold. You're brave, my darling, and you have so much yet to live for. And it won't be long until we are together again, in the end - not truly, not on a grander scale.

Your garden is blooming again, so bright and vivid in the summer sunlight against the dark memories of the harsh winters you've endured. This is a day in which you feel stronger, even content as the garden thrives beyond the threshold of the home we shared, a playground for our children as much as a reminder to you that life goes on. I know that you did not set foot in the space last year - not with the baby on the way, not with your heartache so terrible and consuming. But I understand what compelled you to hide away from the world, that only time could reignite the beautiful flame of your spirit in the wake of our separation. I smile whenever you go to the garden now, more than a year later. I revel in your triumph each time you venture back to each aspect of your life. When you began to pray once more, when you sang again, when you opened your heart at last to your own courage - every moment painted with your bravery left me in awe of you. I know that even those strides had seemed so insurmountable to you for so long, but I pray that time will usher in still more steps forward in your favor. Because you need to be there in the world, even if only to simply be out among your friends and neighbors as the children run circles in their merriment. I smile now as you kiss Evelyn's cheek and look upon Charles fondly as he darts between the pathways with his playmates - you deserve to share in that enjoyment, to experience those small and precious moments as they happen. You couldn't last year, you couldn't in those moments when your heart was seized by unbidden doubt - but today is different. Today you're stronger than the last, braver with each passing week.

I am so very proud of you, darling.

And, oh, how I miss you.

We were meant to find one another in life - in spite of the guilt and trepidation that plagued me for so long at the outset, I know that now without a doubt. From the moment of our first meeting and each day that followed, we created a place in one another's existence, irrevocably entwining our souls as the journeys of our lives unfolded before us. And we are meant to come together once again in the end - you need only to be patient. We are apart now, but we have the rest of time, an eternity before our eyes to walk hand-in-hand into our shared destiny - it is all ours for the taking. I shall hold your hand in mine and never let it go, and I know that I will rejoice on that day. You and I are one - one heart, one soul, separated only briefly yet still irrevocably intertwined as fate parts us. Nothing can truly keep us from one another. It is painful now, but the pain will not last. That I can say without a doubt - the darkness of the past will come to an end once and for all upon our reunion, and when it does you and I will have nothing left but the joy of going on side-by-side forever.

So live until that moment - continue your marvelous strides toward your heart's healing and carry on with the assurance of your strength. It will not fail you - do not doubt this. Go on living for me, for our children - go on living for yourself. I know that you are still afraid of what unknowns lie ahead of you, but you will be alright on your own, darling. You are never truly alone - you are so loved, and so very brave, and you deserve a wonderful life. And when it's all said and done, we'll meet again in another place.

I'll be with you until then, Christine. I always will.

I love you.

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Fin