Last chapter made me realise that there's only a few left for this part of the story as we're nearing the end of Danny's sixth year. And there's still so much things that need to happen and seeds I need to plant. And by thinking about that, I started getting more inspired for the story and that's a good thing.

So without further ado, I thank xXMizz Alec VolturiXx for being the amazing reviewer that she is, and present you the new chapter. Which isn't really packed with action but actually more significant, if you see where I'm getting at ;)

Chapter 37

I wake up to a headache that's merely a ghost of the one I endured last night. If I close my eyes, I can even pretend it's not really there and the pressure on my forehead is just me being tired. I'm relieved to feel that the pain has ebbed away. For a moment last night, I was worried I might have done some permanent damage to my brain and regardless how ecstatic I am about finally succeeding in Legilimency, that would not have been worth the sacrifice.

Despite me having a hard time explaining what happened last night, not only to madam Pomfrey or my dorm members but to the Headmaster as well should he have heard of it, I'm still really glad I did it. Not only was I able to finally do what I've been trying so hard for months now, but I also got that certainty that Kellah Jordan was in fact the person to steal that photograph from my trunk. The whole experience had been overwhelming and too much for my own brain to process, but now that I've had time to mull it over, I do remember seeing my trunk, Darren Stebbins, Romy Courlon and a photograph in Kellah's mind. So I know it for sure now. All there's left to do is confront her about it and decide what I intend to do with that knowledge.

I have to admit, the thought of telling Romy the truth and basically throwing Kellah in front of the viper to be devoured did cross my mind. You can't say she wouldn't have deserved it. But strangely enough, there's no vindictive desire in my body at the moment. Perhaps I feel that we're even now that I've totally invaded her own privacy as well by being inside of her head. That doesn't mean I don't want to confront her about it though. I don't think I want to hear some kind of excuses as to why she did it. I just want her to be aware that I know and that whatever kind of tentative friendship/acquaintanceship was between us or had the possibility to be between us has crashed and burned.

I can't go look for her just yet though. Madam Pomfrey, completely frustrated by not knowing what happened to me last night, has decided to keep me in the Hospital Wing for observation during the next twenty-four hours, despite me insisting that I really do feel fine.

And as I lay an entire day, boring myself to death, in my hospital bed, I come to the very terrible conclusion that the other guy who's hospitalised here right now, a fourth year Slytherin who seems to have had a terrible accident involving a wand and a bruised nostril and no, the acne is not some symptom, receives more visitors than I do. I've had a total of two. Two!

And Harry and Ginny actually showed up together so that gives me a total of one visit. Seriously? I know I'm not suffering from anything severe but hell, don't I deserve a bit of concern?

Apparently I don't because as soon as I reassure my brother and my friend that I am indeed fine and don't feel like clutching my head and screaming again, they pay more attention to each other than to me. What is up with that? I have a feeling I won't like it.

Anyway, about ten minutes before Pomfrey has promised to discharge me, eventually settling on the conclusion that someone probably hexed me to deplete me of my magical energy, there's actually a real investigation going on now, I am graced with the presence of one more visitor.

I can hear the matron tell this person that I'm fine and will be leaving the hospital wing within the next hour – she told me ten minutes! – before pulling the curtain aside and letting my visitor witness with their own two eyes just how fine I am. For one second before the identity of at least one person who wants to keep me company on my sickbed is revealed, I find myself thinking, hoping, dreading that it's Blaise Zabini. The curtain reveals a femine head that I'm all too familiar with now that I've been inside of it and the hope or dread or whatever the hell I was feeling for that split second disappears, hopefully never to return again.

"Kellah," I smile, though not as sincerely as I would have before I found out what a lying thief she is.

"Hi, Danny," She smiles, not as perky as she did before she saw me writhing in agony on the dorm floor.

Yeah, there's no way we're going back to how things were.

"How are you feeling?" She asks me, her eyes flitting nervously all over the room, refusing to settle on my own.

"A lot better than last night."

"That's good. Because… last night wasn't."

"No, it wasn't." I agree.

"Madame Pomfrey," Who seems to have disappeared again. She better not be forgetting about my discharge. "told me that they don't really know what happened. But that it won't happen again?"

"My magical energy has been completely reloaded and is not supposed to run out any time soon," I reassure her.

As long as I don't try that again, only within the near future of course, I'll be absolutely fine. Now that I've experienced what it feels like, I think I can anticipate the side-effects better and perhaps I'll even be able to use Legilimency on Dumbledore. I'm sure it won't cause agonising pain that makes me feel like ripping the skin off my face in the secure environment he provides during our lessons. And even if it does, at least then he can tell me what the fuck I'm doing wrong. Now, I can only guess that it's because I wasn't fully prepared for the impact invading someone's mind would have on my own.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay and I'm glad to see that you are," She smiles. "Do you remember what happened before you… euhm… collapsed?"

"Yes."

"Oh," She falters. That's clearly not the answer she had been hoping for. "I was telling you about this new dress I had bought through the W-"

"No, you weren't."

She stares at me with wide eyes when I catch her in the lie. How long is she going to pretend not to know where I was trying to get at last night? Well, as she appears to be somewhat of an undiagnosed pathological liar, she could be at this little game for another few months.

"I know you stole the photograph out of my trunk." I decide to blow up her lies before she's stupid enough to start believing them herself.

"W-what photograph?"

"Don't play dumb, Kellah," I roll my eyes at her feeble attempt of appearing innocent. "After everything, it is terribly insulting."

"I don't-"

"There was a photograph on the bottom of my trunk of your dear friend Romy Courlon making out with someone who was most definitely not Darren Stebbins, taken in the period she was still dating Darren Stebbins who has now become your boyfriend after he miraculously found out his previous girlfriend was cheating on him. You didn't really think you could have let all that pass for coincidence, did you? How stupid do you think I am?"

Pretty stupid, since I'm sure she stole that picture months before I even found out it was missing. At least she has the good sense not to put that thought into words.

"It wasn't like that," She speaks softly.

"Sure it wasn't," I scoff disbelievingly.

"No, it's really wasn't!" She insists. "I didn't take that picture with the intend to give it to Darren. At the time, I hadn't even spoken to the guy. I barely knew who he was."

"Then why would you-"

"I saw the picture by accident when I was going through your trunk."

Not the right thing to say, Kellah. Not the right thing at all.

"Why the hell were you going through my trunk in the first place!?" I yell. "That's private."

Although nothing is private to me anymore these days.

"I know, I know, it's not like I was snooping or anything. I was trying to fix something."

"Fix something?" I raise an eyebrow, showing her that I'm clearly not believing this feeble lie.

"Okay," She sighs. "Remember how you told me not to feed Frye any chocolate frogs because he can't properly digest them?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, he's sneaky! And when I wasn't looking, for just one second, he ate the frog right out of my hand. I didn't think he'd do that because of how Lavender tried to squash him with her shoe when he tried licking up her hand lotion that one time but anyway, he did and then he crawled into your trunk through the creak and barfed it out."

What?! Frye threw up in my trunk?! Where I keep my clothes and books and blackmail material and all things precious to me!?

"I knew you'd get mad," Of course I'd get fucking mad! "So I emptied out your trunk and cleaned all your stuff. That's when I found the photograph. I was trying to figure out what you would be doing with it in the first place when I heard someone coming up the stairs and quickly shoved it in my pocket."

"Then what?"

I still can't believe Frye, my sweet little miniature dragon, barfed in my trunk. I know all about his sensitive stomach. I've seen him throw up a lot of things and I, better than anyone, maybe not better than my mother, know how nasty that can get. For such a little thing, he can produce some pretty impressive projectile vomit.

"I was intrigued. So me and Fay tried to figure out who the people in the photograph were and why you had it buried at the bottom of your trunk like some secret."

"Fay knew as well?" I glare at her.

Great, now there are two dorm members I can't trust around my stuff.

"Yeah," Kellah at least looks embarrassed by that revelation. "She actually told me to come clean to you and is under the impression that I already did."

Which explains why there's been a bit of a weird vibe between those two lately. And why Fay asked me a couple of weeks ago if we were cool. Merlin, I really am stupid, aren't I?

"Anyway, when we figured out it was proof of Romy Courlon cheating on her boyfriend, Fay said we shouldn't get involved."

"And you didn't listen to her then either."

Is Fay to Kellah what Wayne is to me? Moral compass and social councillor? Because it sure sounds like I listen more to mine than Kellah does to hers. If we momentarily forget about all the new magic Wayne's not aware of me using….

The two situations aren't comparable in the first place!

"I thought maybe her boyfriend was someone who totally deserved it. But Darren seems really nice and he was so crazy about her. And she was basically spitting in his face, he just didn't know it."

"So you thought you'd tell him."

"I didn't do it for me or because I was jealous or anything. I just thought that a guy who went out of his way to help younger students with their assignments and who volunteers to help his classmates with clean up detention, deserved so much better than that. It's only after I send him the picture that I started having feelings for him."

I get that. Well, not the stealing someone else's blackmail material and then basically making it useless by revealing it. And definitely not the part of rummaging through other people's trunks. But acting on the belief that someone deserves better than what they have right now. I definitely understand that. After all, isn't that the thought that has haunted me for years now?

"You need to tell him."

"What?" She frowns. "Why?"

"Because if you don't, I will."

Maybe Darren Stebbins deserves even more than what Kellah already gave him and I refused to give him a year ago, since I didn't know or care for the guy and it was for my own personal gain not to tell.

"He doesn't need to know," She says frantically, frightened with the idea of telling her boyfriend how he got his hands on the photograph that broke him and his ex-girlfriend up.

"I'm pretty sure that's what Romy said to herself as well."

"That's hardly fair. It's not the same."

"It's not," I agree. "But a relationship is founded on trust and openness. If you truly believe that Darren is the kind of guy to deserve better than being lied to, you should continue down that line and not be a hypocrite. If it's any consolation, I have no intention of telling Romy that you're actually the one she should have slapped in the face for leaking that photograph, instead of me."

"She hit you?"

I am proven that Kellah isn't actually a bad person as she looks at me in concern now, even though I just said I'd tell her boyfriend the truth if she doesn't. I never really doubted that though.

"Yeah, she's crazy like that."

"I'm sorry. I guess I didn't really think of what it would have meant for you if I leaked that picture. Or that I basically stole from you in the first place."

I nod, glad to hear her at least acknowledge that she was wrong. I'm pretty sure she's still a better person than I am.

"I guess you're right," She sighs, defeated. "I should tell Darren the whole truth. I'm just not sure he'll think of me the same."

"He and I both."

She seems a bit surprised that I don't think I'll ever look at her as just Kellah anymore, the girl I share a dorm with that I like the most out of all the girls in that limited space. Instead, now she'll be Kellah, the girl who steals from my stuff and lies to my face.

"So even though I apologised, we're not cool?"

"I don't think we'll be cool for a while."

I'm not a very forgiven person. That doesn't mean I won't eventually put this behind us. As soon as someone else scorns me, and that happens a lot, this will all be history.

Madam Pomfrey shows up, not a minute too early, to finally discharge me. Kellah nods and gives me a lame wave as she leaves the hospital wing to let the matron conduct her final evaluation.

"Well, you're good to go," She eventually says. "If you feel any kind of nausea, headache or fatigue, I expect you to immediately return here. Understood?"

"Yes," I tell her, even though I have no intention of returning. I know I'll be fine.

When I return to classes the following day, I'm pleased that at least some people are glad to see I'm fine despite the fact that none of them came to visit me at the hospital wing yesterday. The most satisfying concern to witness is Wayne's.

As soon as he spots me sitting at the Gryffindor table at breakfast, he abandons the girl standing next to him who I'm finally able to recognise as Susan Bones and sprints over to take away Ginny Weasley's spot.

"Merlin, I just heard, Danny! I was on my way to the hospital wing when Susan told me she had seen you in the Great Hall. How are you feeling?" His eyes roam quickly over me as if trying to see if he can somehow assess the damage that way.

"I'm fine," I smile at him reassuringly, being very touched by his obvious worry. See, it's not that hard, people!

"Even though we still don't really know what's caused it, she insists on being fine," Ginny scoffs and for someone who doesn't believe that I'm indeed alright, she should probably show at least half the amount of concern Wayne's showing.

As she mentions how no one knows the reason for what happened two days ago, except for me of course, Wayne's eyes widen considerably and then for some strange reasoning turns them on Ginny with a glare. What with tha- Oh, I get it.

"Hey Ginny," I call for the red-head's attention. "I think Harry's waving you over."

My brother is sitting a few feet further away at the table with his friends and he was most definitely not waving her over. But they seem to have somehow become closer friends during the time I wasn't paying the close enough attention so Ginny totally buys it and gets up to go see what Harry wants.

"He wasn't." Wayne frowns.

"No," I admit. "But they have… something going on, not that I want to know what it is, but I'm sure my little white lie won't even be mentioned between them."

"Do you think they're- you know what? Doesn't matter." He shakes his head before focusing his intense gaze on me and leaning in closer so that I can hear him whisper. "Do you think that what happened to you, could be connected to… You think I'm the blame for…?"

"No!" I quickly say.

It most definitely had nothing to do with our secret Imperius experiment and he's certainly not to blame for subjecting me to said curse.

"Since no one knows the reason, how can you be sure?" He frowns, looking absolutely distraught at the possibility. I don't know if it's because he's worried he'll suffer from brain-splitting migraine as well soon or if he's just that miserable over the thought that I was in pain because of something he did. Either way, the fear is completely unnecessary.

"It was caused by magical exhaustion and using that magic or having that magic used on me, couldn't have had that effect. It had nothing to do with you," I assure him.

"You sure?" He smiles cautiously.

"Absolutely," I smile widely at him, hoping that somehow eases his worries.

"Good," He sighs relieved. "And you're sure you're really okay? Don't say you'd tell me if you weren't because I know you better than that."

That only enlarges my smile.

"I really am fine, haven't had a headache since yesterday morning and I slept wonderfully last night."

That might have had something to do with all the potions madam Pomfrey insisted on me swallowing but who knows?

Now that I know the people who matter to me, namely Harry, Wayne and Ginny show me the necessary concern, I don't really give a damn what everybody else thinks and whether or not they care that I was admitted to the Hospital Wing for some mysterious cause. At least that's what I thought until I entered Potions the next day and realised my partner is Blaise Zabini. Now I have been aware that he and I have had to share a work space and several assignments in this class but truth is that Zabini has become my partner in more than one way. Or at least I thought so.

Had I wanted him to show up at the hospital wing? For one split second I thought he had. I don't think that's what I wanted but I've never been to good at figuring out my own deepest desires. They're as mystifying to me as they are to everyone else.

"Potter," He nods at me when I sit down in my seat next to him.

"Zabini."

So much for 'hey, how are you feeling?' or 'I heard you were hurt, you okay?'. Not that those are sentences that wouldn't completely freak me out coming from the Slytherin's mouth but still, for someone who's shagging me, shouldn't he be at least a bit concerned about my health?

Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe he doesn't even know yet that I spend the night and day in madam Pomfrey's company. I don't expect to have my admittance being the talk of Hogwarts. Though it was when Weasley ended up in the Hospital Wing and I'm much more important than he is, right?

"I was at the Hospital Wing yesterday," I tell him, just in case he didn't know.

"I heard."

He doesn't even glance in my direction when he talks to me. That's nothing new as he often refuses eye contact unless it is to stare me down but this is the first time him not even giving me that small bit of attention really bugs me. Why does it bug me?

"Aren't you going to ask me how I am?" I scoff.

"Should I?"

I guess, technically, he shouldn't have to do anything. But perhaps he could simply ask me anyway.

"It's what normal people do," I mutter.

Normal people, or at least as normal as they come by, visit someone they know in the Hospital Wing or they stoke them with worried questions as soon as they see them.

"Are we normal now?" He raises an eyebrow and finally turns to look at me.

What I see in his eyes is not even feigned concern or interest of thoughtfulness. Instead he looks bored, like he always does and I don't know why I'm so surprised and disappointed to see something I knew would be there.

"No," I huff. "But maybe you could just…"

I don't know what it is I think he could just do or what it is I possibly want him to do but I know it's not what he's doing now. His coldness has never bothered me before. In fact that made the whole platonic thing between us so easy. But today it makes me feel cold in return as well and I don't like it as much I thought I would have.

"Care?"

As soon as I hear his suggestion, I know how ridiculous that sounds because that's the one thing he promised never to do for me. And I agreed to it. And I guess I don't really want him to. It doesn't have to be him. He just happens to be the one who fits the description best. Someone in whose presence I don't have to pretend to be anyone other than who I am. Someone who's intimacy is so familiar to me that it would allow me to accept affection from him on the moments I need them the most. Someone who's within my reach, in case I need someone to hold on to.

But those are pretty much the only boxes he ticks on the requirements. Because he's not kind, he's not caring, he can't read me the way he claims he can and most importantly he does not have my best interest at heart. And I didn't think I needed that until I was lying in my own bed again last night and I was reminded that I don't have any self-preservation. What I did by invading Kellah's mind without proper preparation was dangerous and could have gone a lot worse than what I had to suffer through now. I don't regret it as I'm still partially damn proud of the accomplishment but perhaps it would be nice if someone cared enough to tell me how fucking reckless I'm being.

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoff. "You don't know how to do that."

"Careful, Potter. You knew exactly what you were getting yourself into," He narrows his eyes at me in warning. "Don't go falling in love with me."

At that I have to laugh. Because there's no fucking way I'd ever feel like that about this guy. He's too similar to me for that. I couldn't possibly love someone who resembles me that much when I can't even love myself some days.

"Trust me, I won't," I laugh before focusing on the potion we'll be brewing separately today.

I was being very truthful when I told Ginny that there's no way I'd ever fall for him. He's attractive and charming and he lures me in. He has been doing that for a while now but that's where the attraction ends. He doesn't have what it takes to make me stay.

But perhaps I was wrong about something else I told the fifth year Gryffindor, which is a realisation I'm only getting to now as I watch the Slytherin's usual cold shoulder. Maybe I do need more. Something that can give me the warmth and strength that I've experienced in the past, something I know I can't get from Blaise Zabini, something I don't want from him.

I feel a bit confused as I come to this realisation and I've been feeling a lot of things these past few months, but honestly, confusion was never one of them. I've felt angry, frustrated, sad, helpless but the one consistent thing about being Danny Potter is knowing what you want. I want to protect Harry, I want to get through this war in one piece, I want to feel beautiful and attractive without having to take another person's feelings into consideration, I want to achieve becoming a super kick-ass witch who can use Legilimency and the Fhoyle Curse and resists Imperius, I want to be me without having to apologise for being me.

If only I could have all that and still feel cherished.

That's not a sentiment I need to expect from Zabini. It's something I wouldn't even expect from myself. But what am I supposed to do with this information now?

Realising that I no longer know what I really want or don't know how to put into words and thoughts and actions what I want, leaves me a little baffled at my own complexity for the rest of the day. I don't think I've ever been this quiet in the company of Harry, Granger and Weasley. I don't know whether it's a good or a bad thing that they only comment on it the following morning at breakfast.

"You're unusually calm," Granger eventually comments and it takes me a second to realise she's addressing me.

"Oh,… yeah."

What else was I supposed to say to that?

"You're not still in any kind of pain, are you?" Harry panics.

"No, I've told you a dozen times, I'm fine. I was just thinking about the upcoming game against Ravenclaw. There's a lot at stake, you know."

Oh, he knows. The entire team knows. The whole bloody castle knows. But this might just be the thing he can fuss over without trying to find out what's really bothering me. I just hope he won't try to explain the strategy one more time. I've basically memorised it by heart now and have freaking nightmares about forgetting it. Which I won't, because Harry keeps drilling it in.

"Of course it is," Harry says. "I don't want to be known as the Captain who ruined our winning streak in one year."

"Trust me, that's not what you'll be known for," I snort.

Out of all the nicknames people have given him such as The Chosen One and The Boy-Who-Lived, I'm pretty sure they won't be to focused on the title of Hogwarts-Quidditch-Captain-Whose-Team-Lost-A-Silly-Quidditch-Match. I'm not supposed to call it silly as I do think Quidditch is important but in the face of everything else, even I can admit to how insignificant it is. I just don't see why Harry can't.

"Are we really going to talk about Quidditch," Granger sighs. "When Madam Pomfrey still has no idea what happened to Danny at the beginning of this week and everyone seems alright with that?"

I didn't think she cared so much about my well-being. Well, I'm sure this has more to do with her frustration over not knowing something than it does anything else but still. It's more than I've gotten from Zabini.

"While your concern is appreciated," I smile, sincerely. "I don't think you need to worry abou-"

What typically comes at breakfast, is mail. Over the years, we've all gotten used to the sound of cooing owls flying into the Great Hall and swooping down to delivery their post. It's as common as the bacon on my plate.

I, myself, get my fair share of mail. Usually from mom and dad and Uncle Remus, though he hasn't been writing lately. I've even gotten some fan mail this year. Sure, it was from a young girl hoping that I'd send her an autograph from Harry as she thought I might be more approachable than my brother but still, it counts as fan mail.

But the last thing in the world I expected, is to see a familiar owl in the air, scanning the tables below before gracefully landing right in front of me, leaving no doubt that the package he deposits is addressed to me.

I stare into the two big brown eyes in front of me until the owl gently nips my finger, asking for a snack. Which I don't give him because my mind is still too blown from the fact that this owl is here, delivering a package to me, most likely from its owner.

"Danny, for the love of God, just give the owl a piece of your bacon," I vaguely register Granger grabbing the food from my plate and giving it to Titus, the big barn owl who's spreading his wings again and taking off.

As I watch him fly out of the Great Hall, I resist from looking down at the package he dropped in front of me. Because if I look at it, I'll have to start wondering what could be in it and then I'll have to open it to find out. And I don't think I'm quite ready to know why Cedric would still be sending me anything.