A/N Okay, I never have to say this for this story, but there's a first for everything. I got a little teary writing the end of this chapter, and you may as well. Then again, I'm an easy crier so it could just be my sappy self. You'll have to let me know. More below.
First & Ten Chapter 33
EPOV
"So, we're not going to have a repeat of last week, are we?" Jasper asked, peering at me closely as he adjusted his shoulder pads. I scowled and grabbed my helmet out of the visitor's room locker before shutting it.
"No, we're not going to have a repeat of last week." I wasn't a child and I could control my temper. This week had gone a lot more smoothly than last, except for that slight hiccup with Bella's father, of course. Her mother had apparently already mailed us a package for our new home and Charlie had contributed something as well. I just hoped it wasn't a gun or a snake or something.
Bella was somewhere up in the press box, no doubt starting her notes and spending time with Ronnie. Dan Mullen had asked for and received a transfer to Buffalo, which may very well be the worst beat out there. The team stunk and it was freezing. I couldn't think of a better punishment, unless it came from my fists, that is. Bella didn't know for sure what had gone down but somehow her boss Ted was instrumental in that banishment. I loved it. She may still get verbal shit from her fellow reporters, but at least I didn't have to fear for her safety. I hoped so, anyway.
"I'm just saying, you lost your shit out there, which isn't like you. And if you don't think the 9ers aren't aware that Mr. Cool was suddenly Mr. Hothead, well, you're an idiot." He said this with a smile, as if to cushion the fact that he was suddenly putting on his Dr. Phil hat again.
"There was a lot of crap going on last week that isn't going on this week. I'm under control, Jasper."
"So, if someone comments about wanting your girl to suck their cock or fuck their brains out or whatever, you're going to handle it?"
I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists which made Jasper laugh and point at me. "See, you need to calm down already and we're not even out there. Just remember, man, they're only saying it to piss you off. They probably wouldn't know Bella from any other girl if they saw her out on the street. They're words and they mean nothing."
"Did Dan's words mean nothing?" I asked him.
"Did Bella handle Dan without any help from the rest of us?" He waited expectantly while I nodded. "Well then. I can't guarantee you that no man will ever try to touch her, Edward, but I can guarantee that she won't let him, and then she'll tell you and we'll all make sure the message was delivered as effectively as it was with Dan. Okay?"
I blew out a breath. "Alright. I know all that's true, but I see red when I hear anyone disrespect her."
"And you should. But instead of taking a swing at the motherfucker, throw a 50 yard bomb to me. Let your actions do the talking."
"Yeah, Sullen Cullen, shove it up their asses. We know you're good at that." Emmett grinned widely as he came over from his locker.
They were both right, thought Emmett's phrasing left a lot to be desired. "You know nothing of the sort. You just dream about it. Unless Rose brought out that big black dildo and broke you in, of course."
He scowled at me. "I will find that thing, and then I'm bringing it here and leaving it in your locker right before the press comes in. I can see the headlines now." His dimples flashed as he imagined God only knew what.
"I'll tell Rose you're planning to steal it, and I'll tell her about the other stuff you have stashed at Bella's." I was playing my hunch there but I knew I was right when his eyes got wide with panic.
"I'm just kidding! Jeez, BVD, like I'd do you like that?" I raised a brow and he laughed. "Bad choice of words! You know what I mean. Hey, how about I sneak into the Patriot's locker room and leave it in Brady's?" He chortled with glee. "Imagine him having to explain that."
"Nah," Jasper said. "TO or Ochocinco. Let the big talkers talk their way out of that."
"Ooooh, I love it! I'll probably have to buy another one. Rosie's never gonna give me that thing." He pouted for a minute and then brightened. "It'll be epic. I'll call into their radio shows and ask about it, too." Em was happy as could be again, because he had a new plan. I was quite alright with it, so long as it had nothing to do with me. I already had my hands full with his new underwear based nicknames. That shoot next week was going to be awful.
"Gather around!" Coach hollered. Everybody came in for the pregame speech. It was full of the usual platitudes, about playing our best, going home with a win, continuing to push for the playoffs and kicking their asses. "Now get out there!" he yelled.
We ran out of the locker room and onto the field, to the general boos that accompanied us on an away game. I jogged over to the bench and sat with the OC to go over some last minute plays, then got up and threw the ball with Jasper while the 49ers entered the field to raucous applause. A couple minutes later, we were midfield, shaking hands and preparing for the coin toss. I chose heads and it was tails. The 9ers elected to play defense first so I jogged to the sideline to go over the plays for the first series while our special teams took the field for the kick. It sailed into the end zone and Breaston brought it out to the 22.
I walked toward my line, eyeing the 9ers 3-4 defense. Their record was a pedestrian 5-7, but that wasn't on their defense. They were fierce and fast. Patrick Willis liked to blitz from his linebacker position. I called a simple run from the i-formation on the first play, letting Crowley take it right up the gut. We gained 5 yards on the play because they were playing pass all the way. I called a quick out to Crowley on the next play, sending Fitz and Jasper long to make the safety bite on a big play. We gained 13 and were at the 40 quickly. Now it was time to throw.
I took a 5 step drop and looked toward Jasper, who was blanketed pretty well by Nate Clements, but he wasn't my intended target. The safety took two steps in Jasper's direction and I let the ball fly toward Fitz just as Willis slammed into me from behind. I hit the ground hard but the groan from the crowd told me all I needed to know as I lifted my head and saw Fitz in the end zone.
"Met your bitch yesterday, Cullen. She's got perfect lips for cock sucking and legs that would look great wrapped around me." I pushed myself off the grass and took a step toward Willis, who was grinning in anticipation. I wanted badly to swing at him for calling Bella a bitch, but I looked at the Jumbotron and it grounded me to see Larry streaking into the end zone.
"The lips and legs are mine, Willis, as is the touchdown. Maybe you should worry less about my girl's legs and more about your secondary's. They can't keep up with my receivers. I'll enjoy making them my bitches today." Emmett had sidled up behind me during the conversation and let out a long, loud laugh at my words as he slung his arm around me. Willis looked shell-shocked by my words and Em led me away as he gaped at us.
"I could not be more proud of you, Calvin Klein. He'll think twice before he utters another word." I grinned at him and ass slapped Jasper when I got to the sidelines. They were right. I could use the words to my advantage and turn them around on those assholes. I'd grown up in California and as far as I was concerned, this was my home and my field and I was taking it back today.
Xoxoxoxox
I got home from working out and stopped in the office to pick up Bella's package from her parents. I brought it in and set it on the dining room table as I called her name. I knew she was home because something smelled phenomenal. A faint "I'm in here," sounded from the office and I went in and found her typing away on the computer. She looked so damn cute in the large black leather desk chair, it dwarfed her small frame.
"Hi, sweetheart." She looked up from the screen and smiled at me.
"Hi, sweaty." I chuckled and walked toward her. She wrinkled her nose and backed away from the desk, rolling the chair until she hit the wall.
"I thought you thought I was hot when I was sweaty." I tried to look hurt but I knew I failed because she laughed at me.
"I think you look very hot when you're sweaty. I think you look the hottest when you're rinsing the sweat off, though."
I grinned and walked around the desk. She stood up and I kicked the chair aside as I caged her against the wall. She was the hot one, looking gorgeous in a red tank top and tiny black shorts. "Wanna help me?"
Bella licked her sexy lips and said, "You know I do."
I kissed her, careful to keep my sweat-soaked shirt away from her even though I wanted to press her into the wall and then slide inside her. It was like this every day when I got home. I just wanted her, instantly. I loved that she was here.
Bella's hands slid into my hair and it was her who pressed against me, rubbing her beautiful breasts against my chest. I moaned and gripped her ass with both hands, lifting her up as she wrapped her legs around me. I carried her toward the bedroom, breaking our kiss to tug off her tank top. She was blessedly bra free and I lifted her higher and sucked her left nipple into my mouth, tugging on it lightly with my teeth before swirling my tongue over it.
Bella let out a loud moan and started pulling on my t-shirt. I carried her into the bathroom and set her down, yanking it off and kissing her again as I went to work on her shorts and panties, pulling them down with one tug. God bless elastic shorts. Bella helped me out of my workout shorts and I turned the shower on, leading her into the shower. I loved watching her close her eyes and tip her head back into the spray. It was incredibly sexy and she looked just like that as I entered her, which I would be doing very soon if I had my way.
I squirted her liquid body wash into my hands and lathered them up before slicking them over her shoulders and down her arms. I worked my way up her sides to her breasts, dragging my thumbs over her nipples. Bella's eyes flashed open and she watched me as I caressed her, moving down her stomach and over her hips before I found my favorite place, stroking her clit. She gasped and let her head fall back again as I moved in gentle circles before moving away and squirting more soap in my hands. She glared as I grinned at her and reached behind and rubbed her ass, squeezing it before I moved down her legs, soaping and rubbing my way down her calves. I picked up each foot, soaping it and massaging it. Bella's hands were gripping the side of the wall. She loved getting her feet massaged and I loved how horny it made her.
I stood and Bella immediately attacked me, her lips hard on mine as she pushed me back toward the bench. I sat and she lathered up her hands, smiling at me before she started to rub my shoulders. God that felt good after working out. I closed my eyes and let the sensations wash over me as those capable hands moved down my chest, rubbing my pecs and then of course my abs. I opened my eyes and grinned at her, not that she noticed because as usual she was mesmerized by that particular part of my body. I thought she might like them even more than my cock, if that was possible.
Like she could hear what I was thinking, her hand went down to Zeus and gripped him, fisting him and moving her hand up and down, soaping him up well before she pulled away. I protested and she giggled.
"Turnabout is fair play, Cullen." She got more soap and rubbed my thighs, which felt damn good, and then my calves and then I got the foot massage. She had fabulous hands and I moaned as she pressed her thumbs against the balls of my feet. She smiled and stood back up, moving back into the waterfall.
"All clean." I growled and stood, pulling her against me.
"Tease. Maybe I want to get dirty again." I kissed her and she jumped and wrapped her legs around my waist. I held us both beneath the spray, washing the soap off our bodies.
"I never tease you."
"Oh yeah? What about after the game, when you told me how hot I was before you strolled out of the locker room?"
She giggled and kissed my nose. "I had a story to file."
"I'll file something for you," I told her, rubbing my cock against her pussy.
"Filing is done in the office," she told me, her eyes twinkling.
"Okay, then." I turned off the water and carried her out of the shower, grabbing a towel and running it over the two of us as best I could.
"What are you doing? I thought we were showering?"
"I want to file," I told her, grinning at the stunned expression on her face as I carried her out of the bedroom and down the hall back into the office. I placed her on the desk and looked at her sexy body sprawled over the oak. She was so sexy and so mine, licking her lips again and looking at me with those bedroom eyes, or office eyes, I guess.
I briefly thought of turning her around, having her bend over the desk, which would be hot as hell, but I really wanted to see her face when I took her. I pulled her hips toward me and pressed the head of my cock against her hot entrance.
"I love coming home to you," I told her as I slid inside, biting back a curse as I felt the tight heat wrap around me.
She reached up and caressed my face. "I love being here when you get home." I kissed her and slid in and out of her slowly. Bella's hips pressed against mine as her body moved in perfect time with mine. Our kisses matched our thrusts, slow and wet. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, loving the expression on her face every time I moved inside her.
We both increased our pace at the same time. I slid one hand around and fingered her clit as I thrust into her harder. Bella moaned and I felt her tightening around me so I lifted her a little and hit her spot, sending her over the edge. She came hard around me and I followed seconds later, as her tight pussy milking my cock. I kissed her softly when we both came down, sliding out of her and pulling her off the desk and into my arms.
"I love you." I couldn't say it enough these days.
Bella kissed me again. "I love you, too."
"I didn't ruin dinner, did I?" Not that I really cared. We could order a pizza even though whatever it was she'd been cooking smelled amazing.
She chuckled and shook her head. "No. I figured you'd have an appetite when you got home, so I turned off the oven and let the lasagna sit. I can warm it up if need be."
I grinned. "An appetite, huh? Is that what you call this?"
Bella laughed again. "Yes, I do. I'm honored that you put this appetite before the regular one."
"How could I not, when I have a beautiful, sexy woman waiting for me at home?"
She grinned and pulled out of my arms, taking my hand in hers. "Come on, let's go clean up, again, and then we can eat."
"Yeah, and then we can open our present." She stopped and looked at me. "Your mom's package came." She groaned and I laughed. "It can't be that bad, can it?"
"You'll see," she muttered as we headed back into the bedroom.
And I did see, about an hour later, when Bella opened the box with some trepidation, which brought to mind my worries about the snake again. "Your dad didn't send me something deadly, did he?"
Bella laughed. "Of course not. He doesn't hate you half as much as he wants you to think. He just hates your team." Well, if that was all. I rolled my eyes and peered into the box as pushed the flaps apart.
"What in the hell are those?" There were these weird looking pyramid type things, along with a scroll, some crystals, a book and a couple of jewelry boxes. Bella sighed and took a white envelop out of the box.
"Let's see. Hello, my lovelies." She stopped and grinned at me. "I'm sure she's referring just to you."
I rolled my eyes and nudged her. "Just read, smartass."
She giggled but went back to the letter. "Enclosed are some things to help you achieve perfect spiritual balance and cleanse your auras. The pyramids are lightstones, which will balance your chi and help to strengthen your immune system. I'm sure Edward needs to stay healthy all through the season and these will help him. It also wards off emotional negativity, which will help in dealing with your father."
I picked up the pyramids in each hand. "We might need more than two, in that case."
"Please, Edward." Bella elbowed me.
"Well, they're not that bad, really. They look decorative. We can use them as bookends or something." Bella snorted and went back to the letter.
"The boxes contain small lightstones, so you can wear them at all times to keep yourself centered and keep negativity at bay." I opened the boxes and sure enough, they were rocks on cords, necklaces.
"I am not wearing that." I could just picture Emmett's face if I wore a rock around my neck.
Bella laughed and slipped hers over her head. "Oh, but I think you should. You should wear it for your photo shoot tomorrow. Underwear and lightstones. You could start a new trend. Maybe you could market these. I should talk to Alice."
I tickled her and she shrieked. "I'm not wearing it. Maybe I'll wear it when I meet her, to win some brownie points with your dad."
"Perfect Ten underwear and lightstones. Protect your cock and your chi!" Bella was choking on laughter so I grabbed the letter from her and kept on reading.
"The crystals are also for warding off bad energy and harnessing good. Amethyst cleanses the blood and keeps your life force clean. There you go, sweetheart, we'll have clean life forces to go with our bodies." She stopped laughing and grimaced at me. "It also gives you pleasant dreams. Awesome, I'll dream about you naked." She socked my arm and I smiled at her. "What? That's my most pleasant dream." I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her neck. "Then I wake up to you naked which is even better."
"Pervert." She kissed me though and I knew she liked it.
"The jade crystal promotes luck, which I thought was also important for our Edward."
"Did she say our?" Bella asked indignantly.
"Indeed she did." I laughed at the dumbfounded look on her face. "Emotional balance, fidelity, tranquility, fertility…" I broke off and waggled my eyebrows at her. "Someone wants grandbabies." Bella groaned. "Basically, the green one is for calm and luck and such I guess." Renee had gone on and on about the properties of the damn stones. "Oooh, it does say it opens up the Chakra to love energy. My Chakra's wide open for you, Bella." She elbowed me and grabbed the letter out of my hand because I was laughing too hard to stop her.
"The yellowish one is topaz and it purifies emotions and activates cosmic awareness." Bella frowned at the stones and put them aside. "The book is…oh, God, no." She tried to grab the book but I was quicker and I held it above her head.
"What is it?"
"Just give it to me, Edward."
"Did she send baby pictures? I bet you were cute. I wanna see." Bella screamed and tried to get the book away from me but I wasn't having it.
"Edward, please. It's not my baby pictures."
"Then what?" I held it aloft and looked at her.
"It's…oh God. It's our baby pictures."
"You mean she called my mom and got some? How the hell did she know how to reach my mom?"
"No, not your baby pictures, or my baby pictures, our baby pictures." She groaned. "She put our pictures into one of those websites to see what our kids would look like.
Oh, that was awesome. I had to see it. "Come on, baby, let's see what our babies will look like." She scowled at me and I gave her my most wheedling smile.
"Ugh, fine! This is ridiculous." I sat at the table and pulled her onto my lap before flipping the book open. The first page said Edward & Bella's baby book. Bella sighed and I kissed her shoulder. I actually kind of loved the idea of us having a baby book. I turned the page and there was our son, who was apparently named Charles Edward Cullen, which, no.
The kid had my multi-colored hair and Bella's brown eyes. He was kind of cute, I guessed, but frankly I thought any kid we actually had would be much cuter. Bella made a face.
"Do you not like our son?" I asked, trying to sound injured.
"That is not our son. Our son's going to look just like you," she informed me haughtily. I grinned at her and she groaned and put her hand over her mouth.
"So you've thought about what our kids are going to look like?" This was very interesting indeed. Bella shook her head and I tugged her hand away from her mouth. "Don't lie, sweetheart. That came out way too easily to be the first time you thought it."
"Maybe I've thought about it, once or twice," she muttered. I gave her a smacking kiss.
"Good, because if our son looks like me, our daughter is going to look just like you." I turned the page and there was said daughter, who had Bella's coloring and my eyes. "She's cute." Bella made another face. I turned the page and then turned it again. "Jesus, how many kids are we having?" There must have been ten in the book. A boy who looked just like Bella, a girl who looked just like me, twins for God's sake.
"Two, maybe three. We are not having ten. Jeez, Mom. Where's that fertility stone? We're throwing that thing out right now." I stilled her before she could get off my lap.
"No worries, sweetheart. We have plenty of time before we need to worry about the stone kicking in." She didn't look convinced but she remained seated.
"What's this thing?" I opened the scroll and laughed. "Our star chart. See, we're destined to be." I didn't know what the thing said but I did know it was kinda cool.
Bella laughed and pulled it out of my hands. "How do you know? Do you understand this thing?"
I grinned. "No, but I know we're meant to be anyway." She laughed and kissed me before reaching into the box.
"This must be from Dad." I looked at the booklet in her hands and shook my head. Damn right it was from her father. It was the Seahawks 2010 player guide. There was a post-it note sticking out and Bella opened it to that page and there was JP Losman in all his non-glory. I started laughing so hard that I nearly knocked Bella out of my lap, who was rolling along with me.
When I finally caught my breath I told her, "You do know this means war. I'm going to send him an autographed picture of the whole team." I ripped Losman's picture out of the book. "And I'm going to write JP's wonderful stats on here, along with mine." Bella started laughing hard again and buried her face in my neck. "Your dad loves to give me shit."
She pulled back and took my face in her hands. "He's mostly just having fun, I think. I know he's nervous about how fast we're moving, but he doesn't have a problem with you in particular. Once he knows you, he'll love you."
"I hope so." I stood and grabbed the jade stone, holding it in my hand and Bella in my arms.
"What are you doing with that thing?"
"I'm taking it to the bedroom so we can practice this whole fertility thing. We need to get busy if we're having ten kids." She smacked my chest and I nuzzled her neck. "We'll have fun pretending, right?"
"Good point. Let's go." I laughed and carried my girl and our rock to our bedroom.
Xoxoxoxox
I had to stop home and take a shower after that ridiculous photo shoot. Never had I felt like more of a piece of man meat than when I was stripped down, oiled up and photographed in my underwear. Maybe I should have worn Renee's stupid necklace to try to tame my Charkras or chi or whatever the hell it was supposed to do. There was no way I was going to practice looking like a, well, an underwear model. God, how had I let them talk me into that?
At least it was only in print, not for TV. I'd refused to be nearly naked on television. They could hire someone else for that or I could appear in a t-shirt and boxer briefs like Michael Jordan did. If it was good enough for MJ, it was good enough for me. Period.
And of course, today had to be the day that I met my new publicist. Tommy, Alice and Alec had all signed off on Kate Turner and I had to admit I'd liked her on sight. She was a no bullshit sort who'd laughed at Victoria's ridiculous reaction to Bella, saying that the quarterback and the reporter was a publicist's dream and she couldn't wait to arrange appearances for us. I smirked at the thought of Bella's reaction to that news. She'd probably want me to hire Victoria back.
Kate had been impressive, understanding just what publicity I did and did not want to court, bossing around the photographer when he tried to suggest things that were ridiculous, and uniting with Alice when I tried to get out of the whole deal. They were both forces to be reckoned with and I was relieved Alice was staying on my team, albeit in a more limited capacity. Nobody would fuck with me with them in my corner.
I pulled into my parking spot at the training facility and hurried inside, throwing my bag in my locker and hurrying onto the field.
"You're late, Cullen! Get to work!" Coach shouted. I hurried through my stretches and jogged over to Jasper.
"How was it?"
I rolled my eyes. "A total nightmare."
"Nice of you to grace us with your presence, Playtex. Were you too busy putting on frilly pink undies to come down and get dirty with the rest of us?" Emmett grinned over his shoulder as he took his place on the line. I threw the ball into his big butt and he yelled, "Hey!"
"Cullen, quit screwing around and throw a skinny post to Fitz!" Coach screamed. He was in a great mood, clearly. I got busy and let the day wash away, running my boys through practice, trying different throws and getting in time with my receivers and backs. After it was done, I felt a pull in my left elbow and started to shake it. It didn't hurt, just felt a little off.
Coach came running over to me. "What's wrong with your arm?"
"Nothing, a little twinge in my elbow. No big deal."
"No big deal? We're aiming for the top seed in the playoffs. It's a huge deal! Go have your dad look at it. He's in the office because he had to look at Hopkin's stitches." I started to argue and he silenced me with a loud "Go!"
So I marched down the hallway to my dad's office, mentally bitching out Coach for being an overprotective ass. It wasn't even my throwing arm. If something was wrong, it was no big deal. His door was slightly ajar and I started to stick my head in but heard him on the phone sounding pretty intense so I decided to wait.
"I can leave now and be there in plenty of time to be with you, Esme." Be with Mom? For what? I moved closer to the door.
"I know it's a simple procedure but someone should be with you. I don't like you being alone, even if it turns out to be nothing." He paused and listened to whatever she said back to him. "Fine, but I am going to be there when you hear the results. There's no way I'm letting you go through that alone. If it's cancer…"
I was in his office before I could think, hitting the door open and talking to him before it even slammed into the wall. "What the hell are you talking about? Mom might have cancer? What? Where? Why didn't you tell me?" I was shouting but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Panic was coursing through me and I felt sick to my stomach. Not my mom. She can't be sick. She's the strongest person I know.
"Shit. I need to talk to him." My Dad gestured me to a seat, like I was going to plop my ass down in his leather chair when my mother might have cancer. Why the hell didn't they tell me what was going on? I could have been there. He should have been there. What the fuck?
"Let me talk to her!" I demanded, reaching for the phone.
"You can't right now. She's going in to the doctor's office. You can talk to her after." He turned his back on me, which was infuriating. "Yes, I know. I love you, too. Yes, I'll tell him. Call me as soon as you're done." My father hung up and turned and looked at me, suddenly looking older than 51. His shoulders slumped and his face was haggard.
I squelched my worry over his appearance and focused on the most important thing right now. "What in the hell is going on?"
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Your mother found a lump in her left breast." My heart dropped. Breast cancer? He held up a hand. "I really don't think it's anything, and neither does her doctor, but she's getting checked just in case. It's the smart thing to do."
"Why didn't you tell me? Jesus, how long have you known?" He looked so tired and worried, despite what he said.
"She found it on Tuesday." Tuesday. And it was fucking Friday.
"And you're just telling me now? Of course, you didn't tell me. I just happened to overhear. Were you going to tell me?" I was still yelling but I couldn't seem to stop.
"Edward, we didn't want to worry you. Your mother felt, and I agreed, that there was no point in saying anything unless the tests came back positive for cancer. What was the point in worrying you over what could be nothing?"
"The point! The point would be that she's my mother! I should know that she might have cancer. She must be scared as hell and you're here and she's by herself. Why the hell aren't you there? Why aren't I there?"
He closed his eyes. "Do you think I don't want to be? Your mother is stubborn as hell. I didn't even know when the test was until she was on her way to the doctor's office. By the time I get there, she'd be done. It's a minor biopsy and…"
"Biopsy!" I shouted. "They're cutting her open?"
"Yes, Edward. That's what they do. They remove it and test it to see if it's cancerous or benign. It's a tiny cut and she walks right out. And if you weren't in here right now yelling at me, I'd be on my way to her doctor's office even though she doesn't want me there."
I sank into the chair, mainly to keep myself from punching his wall like I wanted to. "So, if everything is fine, I would never have known about it?"
He shrugged. "What would be the point?"
"The point is I'm a grown man and she's my mother and I want to know what's going on with her." The anger was still hot inside me but the worry was eclipsing it at the moment. "If it were me, how would she react if I didn't tell her?" He opened his mouth and then closed it because we both knew she'd come down on me like the hand of God. "Exactly. When will she have the results?"
"Monday, Tuesday at the latest." I stood and glared down at him.
"Good, I expect to be informed of the results as soon as you have them. Tell Mom to call me if she wants to talk, or you know, remembers that I'm not fucking five years old and I can handle knowing shit." He stood and started to walk toward me but I held out my hand in warning. "I don't want to talk to you right now. Even if she didn't want to tell me, you should have. You see me every fucking day and you haven't said a word."
He looked like I'd socked him in the stomach. "I was respecting your mother's wishes. I didn't want to keep it from you, but I didn't want to worry you either. You've got plenty on your plate without us adding to it."
"Fuck, Dad! This is my mother's life we're talking about. I think I can make fucking room for her! Instead of walking around half naked all fucking morning, I could have been holding her damn hand before she went in for her test. Nothing is more important than that. Nothing!"
"I'm sorry, son. I don't have an excuse. I did what she asked and I'd do it again. Protecting you is always our number one priority. Please understand…"
"I understand that you think I'm some delicate flower that can't stand up under the pressure of my mom being sick and doing my job or something ridiculous." He tried to talk again and I shook my head. "I'll talk to you later, maybe." I slammed out of his office and down the hallway, plowing past a very surprised looking Jasper.
"Edward, are you…"
"Later," I snarled at him. I grabbed my bag out of the locker, only because I needed my damn keys, and hurried into the parking lot. There was only one person I wanted to talk to right now. Well, two, but the other one was in her doctor's office being cut open while I blissfully went about my fucking day. I hit speed dial and waited for her to answer.
"Hello?"
"Hey, can you meet me at home, now?"
I could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. "Yeah, I'm on my way." She knew, of course she knew, that I needed her right now.
I peeled out of my parking space, vaguely noticing that my father was standing in the doorway with both Jasper and Emmett. I wondered if he was confiding in them. Hell, maybe they already knew. They were tight with my parents, after all. Maybe they were deemed able to handle that information while I remained the ignorant child.
I pulled in at home and hurried inside, taking the elevator to my place and letting myself in. Bella had a longer drive and would take about half an hour, I knew. I didn't know what to do with all the stuff churning through me. I got on the treadmill since I had to wait for Bella, setting it at the highest speed and trying to run everything away. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach, then punched in the face and then run over for good measure. How could my mom be sick? She was the most vibrant person I knew. And how could they keep it from me?
I ran, faster than I usually did on a regular jog and tried to envision my life without my mother. It wasn't possible that she wouldn't be there when Bella and I got married or had kids, or when I won the Super Bowl. She needed to be there. She was my rock and always had been. What if it was cancer? What would I do? I should get on the internet and find out odds of survival and treatments and…
"Edward? Talk to me." Thank God. I turned the treadmill off and turned to face her. Bella stood in the doorway, wearing a pretty blue blouse and a long gray skirt. Why was she so dressed up? Oh yeah, she was interviewing the commissioner today. Fuck.
"I took you away from your meeting," I told her dumbly. She shook her head and walked over to me, holding her arms open. I ignored how sweaty I was and just grabbed her and held on to her for dear life.
"It's not important. What's wrong?"
Right. She didn't know. "My mom found a lump in her breast. She's at the doctor's office right now getting it taken out and tested to see if it's cancer." The words came out all in a rush but I could tell she understood me by the hitch in her breath and the tightening of her arms around me.
"Esme will be fine, Edward. She's so strong. And maybe it's nothing. Or maybe if it is, it's early and so much can be done to help her. It'll be okay."
"But what if it isn't?" I didn't know what the hell I'd do in a world without my mother.
"Then she'll fight and we'll be right there helping her do so." Bella stroked my back. "I know you're scared, sweetheart. It's understandable. What did she say about it?"
I cursed and pulled away from her, pacing the room and tugging on my hair. "I don't know. I didn't talk to her. I heard it by accident." I was yelling again and Bella just looked at me patiently.
"How did you hear it by accident?"
"I went to my dad's office to have him look at my elbow, which I just realized that I forgot to do, but oh fucking well. Anyway, Dad was on the phone with her and I heard something about the lump and tests and I barged in and demanded to know what was going on. Do you believe they weren't even going to fucking tell me?"
Bella nodded slowly. "So you're angry that they weren't going to tell you?"
"Of course I am! How could they not tell me? I'm their son!"
"Okay, yes, I get that, but would you tell them something might be wrong with you, or would you wait until you knew for sure?"
I started to answer and then stopped. Damn it, she had me. "They'd know. They always know. Dad's my team doctor, after all."
She smiled and stepped toward me. I stood still and she put her arms around my waist. "So, you wouldn't tell them until you knew. How can you be angry that they were going to do the same to you?"
"She's my mom, Bella."
She took my face between her hands then. "I know she is and I know you're scared and you're dealing with it by getting angry. I get that. I'm scared, too. I love your mom, even if she overshares about her sex life."
I felt a smile tug at my lips but wouldn't let it form. "That's the thing though, she can talk about banging my dad, which I absolutely do not want to hear, but she can't tell me when she might be dying? What if she's dying, Bella?"
She stroked my cheek and shook her head. "It's too soon to know that. You see, this is why they didn't tell you. They didn't want you freaking out and worrying until the test results came back."
"I know, but I should be with her."
"Your dad will be, and if you want, we can go over and see her tonight." A part of me wanted to go, but another part of me was still so damn angry at them both.
"They should have told me."
"Well, you know now, and is it doing you any good?" I shook my head. "That's why they didn't tell you."
"It doesn't make it any easier knowing that. I'm still pretty angry."
She kissed each of my cheeks. "I know you are. I would be too, in your situation. But try looking at it from their viewpoint and admit to yourself that you're more scared than angry right now and you're holding onto the anger because it's easier than holding on to the fear."
I sighed. "You've been watching Dr. Phil with Jasper."
She laughed and hugged me. "Nope, that's Dr. Bella. You'll be getting a bill for services rendered, right after we find out that your mom's just fine."
"I love you, you know that?"
She smiled softly. "I do. And I can't tell you how happy I am that you called me instead of doing something stupid."
"I needed you." Admitting that felt good.
"I'm yours. Now go clean up so we can head to your parent's house." I took her hand and walked with her into the bedroom.
"Thank you for listening."
She kissed me. "Always." I got in the shower while Bella changed. I closed my eyes and tried to let the water calm me, but it didn't have its usual soothing effect. I washed my hair and toweled off, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading into the living room. I stopped short when I saw Bella sitting on the recliner, facing my parents on the couch.
"They called about ten minutes after you got in and they were already here," Bella told me. My mother stood up from the couch and took a tentative step toward me.
"I'm so sorry, Edward. I was just trying to protect you. You can be mad at me if you want, but don't blame your father. It was my decision not to tell you and I'd do it again. It's my job to protect you, no matter how old you are."
I closed the distance between us and took her hands. "Can I hold you or are you hurting?"
Tears filled my mother's eyes and she tugged her hands from mine and threw her arms around me. "Of course you can." She cried into my t-shirt and I rocked her in my arms. I felt a couple of tears finally slip from my own eyes.
Bella stood and held a hand out to my father. He took it and the two of them walked past us, giving us some much needed privacy. My father's eyes held mine as he walked by and I could see the apology in his face. I didn't know if I was ready to accept it but I nodded and held my mom tighter.
"Mom, I'm so upset with you right now."
She looked up at me, tears still streaming down her face. "I know you are, baby, but I had to keep it to myself. I don't want you worrying about me."
"I know, Mom, but I'm not a little kid anymore. I want to be there for you."
She gave me a watery smile. "You are. Just knowing that you're here, living your dream, living with Bella, happy and in love…don't you realize that that's the best thing for me? Even if I'm sick, if you think I'm going to leave you and not enjoy watching you get everything I've ever wanted for you, well you're a fool. I'll be here for you, just like always."
"And I'll be here for you too, Mom. Don't shut me out."
"Never, Edward. I would have told you right away once I knew for sure. You know that." I did, but it didn't make it any easier for me to swallow.
"Do you forgive me?" she asked.
I sighed and held her tight. "Of course I do. Just promise me you won't keep important things from me again. I may not handle it well, but I want to be there for you."
"Okay, I promise." She rested her head on my shoulder.
"I'm scared, Mom." I could admit it to her, just like I could to Bella.
"I know, sweetie. I'm a little scared, too. But I have the best people in the world by my side, so I'm not worried. And now it's more than just the three of us. We have Bella and Emmett and Rose and Jasper and Alice. Whatever the diagnosis, we'll get through."
"I know, Mom." She pulled back and took my hand.
"Let's go find Bella and your father and go get something to eat. No more anger and fear, not tonight. We'll deal with everything on Monday." Like it would be that easy? I'd try to put it aside, for her. If that was the only strength she'd take from me, then that's what she'd get. I'd deal with the rest later on my own, well, with Bella. I needed her and she was here for me. Always.
A/N Okay, so hit me with it! I won't give anything away, but I will tell you there will be answers in the next chapter. This has been planned for a long time, I just didn't expect to be as upset by it as I was. Maybe because I wrote it from EPOV. The classification of this story isn't changing, that much I'll say. You can read into that what you will. Esme's issue is the catalyst for one final test for E&B, which you'll understand next chapter. I hope you're not mad at me. The first 1/2 was happy fun times at least! Let's talk about Renee's present! I'm kidding. You can talk to me about whatever you like, even if you want to yell at me like Edward did Carlisle!
First is now up for the Fic of the Month over at The Lemonade Stand. Voting was on hold but is supposed to start sometime today. www(dot)tehlemonadestand(dot)blogspot(dot)com. Thank you all for putting me into the running for that!
My new story, Words with Friends, debuted on Saturday and the response has been amazing. I'll be updating that later in the week. Thanks so much for checking it out! It means a lot that my readers from this story were so supportive of that one. You all rock!
Okay, that's enough for now. I'll see you next week with more and some resolution! Love you all!