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Skin to skin

Logan, James, Carlos and I had quite a good time the rest of the morning. We laughed a lot and we could all talk freely again. A weight was lifted off our shoulders, bad feelings were behind us and we had a great time to look forward to.

James was a lot happier. The difference was really noticeable, almost obvious. The old fire was back in his eyes and he was shamelessly flirting with Carlos, something I hadn't seen him do since he and Carlos got together.

Carlos was enjoying it immensely. He too saw the old James and he was loving it to be for once again the center of James' attention. To be the one James was working his charm on, like he had to be captured again. He too went back to being his old self a little mature, grown up Carlos was still funny and light hearted, but he wasn't as free as teenager Carlos always had been. It was great to see.

Logan was sitting next to Kegan's bassinet and was holding Kegan's arm in his hand, rubbing the baby's skin softly. He was watching James and Carlos together as if he was studying something. It was like he was reading a book, trying to understand what was going on in their heads. I guess we would never find out what they were thinking.

I figured they were just happy. They'd worked together through some pretty though times and now everything was finally going to get better. They almost had what they wanted for so long and were pretty sure they would get it, I mean her. And I couldn't think of two people that deserved it more.

They were going to be amazing fathers.

Their relationship survived too and now they were happier than I'd seen them in a long time. They were making each other happy. Carlos was less reluctant when it came to physical contact, for James' sake. He was returning the hugs his husband gave him and even initiated a few himself. They were both stealing kisses from the other whenever they thought we weren't looking. James was calmer and more patient than before, trying to show Carlos he was his.

I was just sitting in my chair next to Logan and mostly looking at him. Logan looked better than yesterday. He was still a little pale, but I guessed that would disappear while he recovered from the c-section. He'd small bags under his eyes from being so tired. The last few days had been extremely tiring for all of us, but probably especially for Logan who never got the time to lay down and get some much needed sleep. The first day because he wanted to see Kegan. The evening he gave birth he'd been on his feet for at least an hour. The next day we spent sitting here, waiting for something that was never going to happen. Nothing came up with Kegan, he was a fighter and pulled through. But now Logan got even more tired after a whole day of sitting.

And then yesterday evening when I needed him to get me calm again. This morning probably hadn't been this good for him either. He didn't even get a full night of rest and I practically dragged him along. I should've though of this earlier.

All in all he still looked good. My 22 year old husband was doing better than expected. His skin was still soft, his hair was still shining, his eyes still sparkling and his lips still moist. Even after two days of not showering. I would probably have to help him with that tonight. Not that I really minded.
James and Carlos left to take care of all the adoption stuff after they made us promise we would watch their baby. She was sleeping now, so we didn't really need to do something yet. However Logan had a different idea since he was constantly walking to her bassinet back to Kegan's. It irritated me, because he was supposed to be taking it easy and sit down so there won't be so much stretch on his cut constantly.

At some point I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me. He had to sleep so he could heal better. He let me shift him from his chair to my lap. He smiled at me tiredly when I wrapped an arm around his waist and brought the other up to his head to guide it to my shoulder. Within minutes he was fast asleep again.

I rocked him slowly, loving how my Logie was sleeping in my arms. I believe I sat there with him for over two hours. My arms were dead, but I never let go of him. Logan was so much more important than a little pain in my arms.

Logan woke up at 11, but continued to sit in my lap. "Kendall?"

"Hmm?" I asked and kissed his forehead.

"Did they tell you anything about the surgery? They didn't tell me anything"

I hesitantly looked down at him. "Do you mind talking about this later?" I asked. I had no idea how I was going to tell him this yet. I suspected Logan would take it hard, which was why I preferred waiting until we were in bed tonight so he could cry himself to sleep if he wanted. It was always a lot easier than trying to calm him down. And the day just started, I didn't want to see Logan's sad face all day.

He shook his head. "No, I don't mind" He said quietly.

I smiled and leaned in to give Logan a kiss on his lips. He eagerly responded and kissed me back. He sat up straighter and wrapped his arms around my neck before deepening it. He gently pried my lips apart and let him shove his tongue in my mouth. He sucked softly on my tongue, before letting me have the control again.

"Hello! Oh! Wow! Guys!" Mom said loudly.

Logan quickly pulled away and climbed off my lap. I got up too. "Hi, mom" I said and gave her a hug.
"Hi, honey. How are you doing? And Kegan- no, incubator!" She squealed and turned around to where Kegan was sleeping. She was immediately all over him, touching his hands and feet, caressing his little cheeks and running her hands over his tummy.

"We're good, mom. Thanks for asking. How are you?" I mumbled sarcastically, more to myself than for anyone else to hear.

"Oh guys, I brought something for you" Mom said when she was done inspecting her grandson. "I figured you didn't have clothes for Kegan yet, or at least not clothes that fit him. So I went shopping this morning, that's why I'm so late"

She gave us a white plastic bag with a baby on it. Inside were three playsuits with matching caps. Logan was beaming and went up to my mom to hug her. "You're the best, mama Knight"

"Thanks, Logan. But I just came to drop this off and see how you were doing. I have my book club now, but maybe I'll come back tonight. Keira is just outside in her stroller, poor thing was exhausted and she's still asleep. Katie's with her. Well, I'm going now. Bye"

She gave both of us a kiss on the cheek and then she was gone. Logan looked up at me questioningly. I shrugged, I too had no idea what was going on with her. "I think she has a date. No one is that eager to go to a book club" Logan said thoughtfully.

"You are"

He hit my arm, but chuckled. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him against me. He put his arms around my neck and pulled my head down to kiss me. This time it was the other way around, I was attacking him. Only Logan didn't let me. "Kendall" He said between my kisses. "Kendall, no, stop it!" He giggled when I sneaked my hands under his shirt.

"But I don't want to" I whispered. "I loooooveee you"

He blushed and let me do what I wanted for a few more moment and then pulled away completely. "I want to see Keira" He said.

"She's sleeping, Logie. We'll get her later"

"Fine" He pouted. He didn't really seem to mind though, because he hugged me again and closed his eyes as he put his head on my shoulder. We stood there for a few minutes, but then James' and Carlos' baby started crying –they really should've told us her name, now we still have to call her 'the baby' or 'unnamed baby girl'.

Logan let go of me and went over to her crib. He picked her up and started rocking her, making sure her stomach didn't touch any of his skin. Even though her skin already looked much better now she got a proper treatment, it must still be painful when someone touches it. I wondered how James and Carlos were going to do that. I was proud of them for taking in a child that really needed them instead of one that was perfectly healthy, but it wasn't going to be easy. She needed extra care and later on she would ask questions about why she doesn't look like her fathers.

But they couldn't handle it. I was sure of it. Especially after everything they'd been through.

Logan managed to calm her down by walking slowly up and down the room. "You know what would be fun?" He asked.

I smiled. "Don't let me wait"

"If they would get together one day"

"Yeah… Not gonna happen"

Logan looked at me with his puppy dog eyes and showed me the girl in his arms. "But she's so cute. I bet she would be the perfect daughter in law"

"Oh, I don't doubt that. I just can't let that happen. If they would get together that would mean James and Carlos won't have to deal with the boyfriend problem like we have to do with Keira. I'm not gonna make it James that easy. Never"

He looked at me thoughtfully and then put the baby back in her crib. "Good point. Let's never bring James and Carlos on the idea"

"Agreed"

The door opened and the nurse came in. "Hello Mr. and Mr. Knight. How are you doing?"

"We're good, thank you" I said. "How's Kegan?" Logan walked up to me. As soon as I could reach for him I pulled him in front of me and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Your son is doing great. In fact, that is what I'm here for" She turned around to look at us. "How would you like it to hold your baby?" The nurse asked kindly and smiled when Logan started beaming. He looked up at me and I smiled encouragingly. I wanted Logan to hold Kegan first, since I was the first to touch and dress him. Something I still hadn't told him.

"Alright then. I'm going to help you with something called a skin-to-skin cuddle. We do this with premature babies to get them into contact with their parents. For a baby it's extremely important to know who his parents are. He completely depends on you for the next few years and it's not good for him to be in an enclosed space without any contact too long"

I nodded. That made sense, it was exactly what I'd thought yesterday when I wasn't allowed to touch him. "Now, a skin-to-skin cuddle is good for a baby, because he can get used to the touch and smell of his parents, the two most important organs in the first few weeks of a baby's life. A baby can only see things that are less than 20 centimeters from his face, he can hear, but won't react to it yet, because he can't connect a certain happening to it. Still a soft, loving tone in your voice is better than yelling or snapping, but he won't notice the difference until he's a few weeks older"

The nurse turned her back on us to open the incubator. We watched closely as she carefully lifted Kegan off the mattress, his upper body fitted in her hand. She spread a blanket out under him before putting him down again and wrapping him in it. Kegan whimpered and wriggled in the blanket, as if he was just as impatient as Logan was. My husband was almost bouncing in his chair. I placed my hands on his shoulders and squeezed softly.

He looked up at me again and I felt him relaxing when he was distracted by me. I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "Calm down, sweetie, or the nurse will change her mind" I chuckled. His eyes widened and he froze, afraid that what I said was true.

The nurse was done checking up on his state and if the wires and stuff were still connected. I still had to ask Logan about where those things were good for. "Can you come sit a little closer?"

Logan got up and pushed his chair until it was next to the incubator. "And can you open your shirt?"

Logan unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and pushed the fabric aside. The nurse picked Kegan up again brought him down in front of Logan, who was watching with wide eyes. He brought his hands up and put one behind Kegan's head and the other under his butt. Carefully she let go of Kegan and Logan brought him to his chest, smiling brightly. He pulled the blanket from Kegan's front, before pressing him against his chest.

And Kegan started crying. Logan bit his lip and fought his own tears back. He rocked Kegan slowly and caressed his cheek with his finger, but Kegan didn't stop causing Logan to spill some tears too. I felt bad for him, he probably imagined this to be a lot happier.

I went over to them and kneeled in front of him. Logan looked at me desperately while holding onto our son. "You can do this, Logie. He's just not used to this"

"What if he doesn't like me?" He whispered.

"He loves you. See, he's already calming down" I said softly. I'd caught onto something and tried not to smile. I waited until Logan looked back at Kegan, before quickly freeing Kegan's foot from the wire he was tangling himself in and hurting himself with.

Kegan's crying immediately got less until he stopped completely. Logan smiled and continued running his finger over Kegan's cheek. "You were right"

I smiled at him and got up. Logan looked up at me and then back at Kegan, as if he was comparing. I kissed his forehead and then went to get my own chair next to his and sat down next to him.

Logan leaned down and kissed the top of Kegan's head. "Hi, baby" He whispered as Kegan's little hand grabbed for Logan's skin. "So glad I can finally see you now, it's weird you're not inside of me anymore"
Kegan did seem to like Logan. Our small baby was relaxing against Logan's chest -I wasn't sure if he was sleeping or not, since he still didn't open his eyes- and holding onto Logan's pinkie, that Logan offered him after he found out about the grasping. "You look a lot like your papa, Kegie, just like I hoped you would. We're going to get you through this, buddy. You'll be safe and loved and adored and we'll never let you stand alone"

Kegan sighed and smacked his lips a few times, before he yawned and tried to turn his little head to the other side. Logan helped him with it and made sure the blanket was still covering him completely. He looked up at me. "Go get Keira" He said.

I nodded and got up to get my daughter. She was playing in a corner, with Katie next to her, watching her. I went up to them and smirked at Katie, who raised her brows and clearly thought I lost my mind in all the happiness. I kneeled next to Keira, who grinned when she saw me and dropped the toy she was playing with. "Papa" She said happily.

"Hi, Keira. What are you doing?"

"Coffee bear!" She pointed to the bear in front of her and noticed it had an empty plastic cup in front of its feet. Katie waved at me with hers and Keira dropped her cup on the ground when I sat next to her.
"Are you drinking coffee with the bear and Katie?"

She nodded and picked up her cup and held it out for me. "Coffee?"

I chuckled. "Thank you, honey" I said and pretended to take a sip to make her happy. "You made very good coffee, Keira!"

She giggled, got up on her legs and went over to me. I took her hands to help her stand. "Do you think you've a little time to see the baby? Or are you busy?"
Her eyes widened and she quickly shook her head. "Baby"

"Alright then" I got up and picked Keira up. I carried her back into the room and put her on the ground to close the door behind me.

She grabbed me leg and peeked around it to look at Logan, before hiding her face again. "Are you shy because of daddy?" I asked chuckling.

She didn't respond, just looked at Logan and the little bundle on his chest. "Don't you wanna see your baby brother?"

Keira nodded and I took her hand. I walked slowly over to Logan so she could keep up with me and sat down in my chair next to him. I lifted her off the floor into my lap, facing Logan and Kegan.

"Hi, honey" He said softly. He pulled Kegan's blanket down so she could see his face. Keira sat up a little straighter to have a better look at her brother.

"Baby" She whispered to me and leaned against my stomach, not taking her eyes off Kegan.

"That's your brother, Keke" I told her. "His name is Kegan"

She frowned and studied the baby closely. "Kegie!"

"No, Keira. Ke-gan" Logan said, trying to teach her his name.

"Kegie" She answered stubbornly and grinned at her brother.

Logan rolled his eyes, but went with it, not having any the will to spend too much time learning Keira a name she's not going to use. "You can stroke his head if you want, Keira"

She smiled and leaned forward, causing me to grab onto her so she wouldn't fall. She put her small hand on the back of Kegan's head and really tried her best to be careful. Kegan whimpered softly when he felt the new hand touching him and curled closer to Logan who gently rocked him to calm him down.

"Kegie's small" Keira whispered to me.

"Yeah, he is"

"When's goin play with Keira?"

"Kegan's not going to play with you yet, Keira. He's a little too young for that"

"Oh" She said sadly. "Papa going to play with Keira?"

"Maybe a little later, okay?"

She nodded and frowned at Kegan. "Kegie's weird" She stated.

I turned to my son and watched how he squeezed his eyes shut and wrinkled his little nose a few times, before slowly parting his eyelids and revealing a pair of eyes I knew so well.

Once again I gained a family member with the most gorgeous brown eyes I'd ever seen in my life. I looked up at Logan and saw him smiling at me. He knew exactly how much I loved his eyes. And Keira's. And now Kegan's. I leaned forward and kissed him softly, placing my arm in front of Keira so she wouldn't fall off my lap. "I love you, Logie" I whispered and kissed him again.

"Love you Logie!" Keira said enthusiastically. Having found a new sentence she could say. I pulled away from Logan to look at her. "Love you Logie!" She said again and put her little arms around my waist in an attempt to hug me, only her arms weren't long enough.

I chuckled. "I'm not Logie, Keira"

"Yes! Logie!"

"I don't think she notices 'Logie' is a name" Logan said smiling.

"She'll find out eventually" I said and looked at Keira as she continued to throw her new line at everything in the room. Kegan closed his eyes as he sneezed and after that they remained closed, sleeping again. Logan was rubbing his back and humming softly to keep him calm.

Yeah, things were getting normal again.

MORE BROWN! MUAHAHAHA! I'm feeling happy again, guys. I've so much inspiration to write lately that I might even think of something for One of Us! Things are getting back to normal for me too.

I have one request though. I've now 290 reviews, can you bring me to 300 with this chapter?