Sammy's POV
We all got to see the baby in the room where they keep the newborns. Everyone else went home after a while.
Brian's POV
Claire's grandparents went home. Andy went to bed, so did Kim and Rick. I stayed in the kitchen for a while. My father woke up later, about four-thirty.
"Have you been up all night,"He asked.
"Yeah,"I said.
"Is something wrong,"He asked.
Yeah, my girlfriend's pregnant. I looked at him. From an outside perspective, he didn't LOOK like someone who would yell at or hit their own son. Neither did my mother. Appearances can be deceiving.
"No,"I said,"Nothing's wrong. Just couldn't sleep, that's all."
"There's been an offer on the house,"He said.
"Really,"I inquired.
"It's a really good offer,"He said,"I might take it."
"That's terrific."
"How's college?"
"Pretty good,"I said.
"Grades?"
How did I know he'd ask that? I sighed.
"If they're not straight A's,"I started cruelly,"Does that make me an idiot?"
"You're not an idiot,"He said.
"The elephant lamp,"I said,"Was the only F I've gotten."
"You're very smart, Brian,"He said,"You're the youngest in the family to go to college."
"YOUR family,"I said,"What about your real son? Is he good enough for you? Smart enough?"
"Brian, I love you,"He said.
"Would you still love me if I wasn't smart?"
"Of course,"He said,"Did we make you feel that way?"
I nodded.
"I'm sorry,"He said.
"You and mom,"I started,"You yelled at me for every mistake. You didn't want smart, you wanted perfection. And I'm not perfect. Why couldn't you just be proud of me for who I am?"
"I AM proud of you,"He said.
"I felt like you and mom hated me for failing,"I said.
"Why didn't you talk to us,"He said.
"I couldn't,"I said,"I couldn't talk to either of you."
Sammy's POV
I woke to John and Claire talking. It was getting light outside.
"Hey Sammy,"John said,"Wanna go to the house and pick up the gifts?"
"Me?"
"No, the other Sammy,"He kidded,"Yeah, you. Got your license?"
"In the car."
"Good,"He said, and tossed me the keys,"Be careful."
"I will,"I said.
I took the keys and went out into the car. In the car, I started the engine and checked the ketch-aw for my license. I was in there. I let the engine warm up for a couple minutes, then drove to the house. I sat in the car, parked in the driveway, keys in one hand, my other hand on my stomach. I felt the lump, squishy but soft, like a hard-boiled egg. I got the presents and loaded them into the car. I brought the presents into the hospital room. John was holding John Jr. Claire and I opened the presents, mostly baby stuff.
One of the gifts was a car seat, which we used when John and I brought the baby home. Claire had to stay at the hospital until the swelling from the surgery and the pain subsided. I held the baby while John got the crib ready. After he was done, he set John Jr. down for a nap.
John's POV
When I got back to the living room, Sammy was crying heavily on the couch.
"What's wrong,"I asked.
"I should've told you,"She said,"When I took the tests. But I wasn't sure."
"What are you talking about,"I asked.
"John, look,"She said.
She raised her shirt to show me her stomach. There was a lump. I felt it.
"Did Brian do this,"I demanded.
"No,"She said,"No, John! That's the thing...It wasn't Brian...at all."
"Fuck!"
She collapsed back onto the couch, crying. I sat by her. She buried her head into the couch pillow.
"Sit up, Sammy,"I said calmly,"I'm not mad at you."
She sat up.
"Y...you're not,"She asked.
"No,"I said,"It's not like you did it on purpose."
I put my arm around her shoulder and hugged her.
"I'm scared,"She said.
"Me too."
She wiped her tears.
"What are YOU scared of,"She asked.
"What I've ALWAYS been afraid of,"I said.
She sighed.
"You won't become like our parents,"She said.
"Maybe. Maybe not."
"Johnny, you're a better father to me...than our father EVER was."
"That means a lot coming from you, Sammy."
She nodded.
"Can I hold little Johnny,"She asked.
"Of course you can, Aunt Sammy."
She laughed.
Sammy's POV
I went into the room with John. He handed me little Johnny, and I cradled him in my arms.
Thursday, Dec. 27...
Claire got to come home from the hospital that day. She was still a little sore. The doctor told her to take aspirin for the pain.
Monday, December 31...
New Year's Eve-1984. 11:30 P.M. Claire and John were watching the New Year's ball on the TV, waiting for the glowing ball to be dropped. Little John was in his crib, which was in the living room, right by the couch. I was watching over him as he slept. The doorbell rang. I went to answer it. Brian stood at the door.
"What are you doing here,"I asked.
"I came here to kiss you at midnight,"He joked.
I looked at John.
"Brian came here to kiss me,"I said,"Can I let him in?"
"Okay, but only if he kisses me too,"John joked.
I let Brian in. He stood with me over by the baby. John looked at us for a second, then pointed at us both.
"I don't like this picture,"He said,"The two of you, a baby."
We recited the countdown to New Year's. At midnight, John and Claire kissed, as did Brian and I. I whispered into Brian's ear.
1985
Tuesday, January 1...
"I'll meet you at your house,"I whispered,"Wait for me."
He gave a slight nod.
AND NOW...MAY I PRESENT...A B.J. IN THE MOST ROMANTIC(AND LEAST DESCRIPTIVE) WAY POSSIBLE.
Brian's POV
It was two in the morning. I stared out my window to see Sammy walk onto the porch. She wore a winter coat, which was black, and looked similar to a trench coat or an old fashioned spy jacket. I snuck downstairs and let her in. She snuck with me up to my room. She locked the room behind her and removed her jacket. She kissed me on the lips.
"Sammy,"I asked,"What did you..um..want..exactly?"
She put her finger in her mouth and slowly pulled it out to show what she meant. I stared blankly for a second before it hit me.
"Oh,"I said,"Really?"
"I know you've thought about it,"She said,"You were just too afraid to ask."
"I haven't...,"I started, then saw her look of disbelief,"Okay...I have...but only a little."
She raised an eyebrow.
Sammy's POV
"Okay, a lot,"He said,"Fine...everytime I see you. I'm a pig, I know."
He shivered when I touched his neck.
"You're so sweet,"I said.
I kissed his neck.
"Sure about this,"He asked.
"Yes,"I said,"Brian, I love you, and I respect you. I know you feel the same about me. And I won't lose any of that from you. You won't think DIFFERENTLY of me, will you?"
"Of course not,"He said.
I ran my hands down the sides of his ribs, then his stomach, and stopped at his hips. I slid down his pants. I grabbed the waistband of his boxers and did the same.
"Do you trust me,"I asked.
"Yes,"He said.
I got onto my knees.
"I won't hurt you,"I said.
Claire's POV
I woke up to little John crying. I got up to see what was wrong.
"You got a set of lungs on you,"I told the baby,"You really are John's son."
He needed a diaper change. I got a fresh diaper and changed him into it.
Sammy's POV
After rinsing with mouthwash, I sat on the bed with Brian.
"Was that your first time,"He asked.
"Yeah,"I said,"What about you?"
"Yeah,"He said.
"Did you like it,"I asked.
"Yeah. Did..did you?"
"You know, I actually kind of did."
"Now what do you wanna do,"He asked, holding my hand.
"Brian, you're such a horny toad!"
He let go of my hand and looked down.
"BUT,"I said,"You are MY horny toad."
He laughed.
Monday, January 7...
"Ever thought about joining the math club,"Larry asked.
We were walking down the hall to lunch. Christmas break was over, and we were back at school.
"Why...would I want...to do that,"I asked.
"You like math, don't you,"He asked.
"I could take it or leave it."
"Well, you're pretty good at it."
"It's pretty easy."
I sat down at the lunch table. Larry got in line for lunch. I'd brought my own.
"Sammy,"A voice asked.
I turned around. There stood Mike, a childhood friend of John's. He'd moved away at the beginning of my freshman year last year. I stood and hugged him.
"Mikey,"I exclaimed.
He sat next to me at the table.
"What've you been up to,"He asked,"How's John?"
"John's fine,"I said,"He's married. He has a kid."
"Wow. What about you?"
"That's a long story,"I said.
"I've got time,"He said.
"Well, John almost got killed by our father. Our parents were arrested, John got custody of me, I got hit by a car, John's girlfriend was pregnant, so they got married. And, I have a boyfriend now."
"A boyfriend?"
"His name's Brian,"I said.
Larry came back with his tray and sat across from me.
"This guy bothering you, Sammy,"Larry asked.
"No,"I said,"This is Mike, one of John's friends."
"You must be Brian,"Mike said.
"No, this is Larry,"I said,"My friend. Brian's in college."
"College?"
"He's sixteen,"I said.
"Must be some kind of nerd,"He joked.
"You should come visit my house,"I said.
"Sounds good."
"I have to do something first,though."
"What's that?"
"I gotta visit the math club after school."
Larry introduced me to the math club after school. He knew a lot of them from physics club. Mikey came with us.
"Well, I have to go,"Larry said, and left.
A scrawny kid, whose name Larry told me was Jed, walked up to me.
"Samantha Bender,"He asked,"As in, John Bender?"
"You've heard of my brother,"I said.
"Heard of him? He used to steal my lunch."
"Our parents didn't let him eat,"I said.
"Oh,"He said,"What brings you here?"
"Thought I'd join,"I said,"I'm pretty good at math."
Jed nodded.
"What class are you in,"He asked.
"Pre-calc."
As we walked out of the school, I asked Mikey how he would get home.
"I got a car,"He said.
"How old are you?"
"Seventeen."
He took a set of keys out of his pocket and we went to his car. I hopped in the passanger seat.
"Can't believe you joined the math club,"He joked.
"Look, don't tell John, okay,"I said,"Don't need him heckling me about it."
He laughed and nodded in agreement. I directed him to the house. In there, Claire was cradling little Johnny in her arms. She seemed taken aback by the darkly dressed figure who stood by me.
"Claire,"I said,"I'd like to introduce you to Mike, one of John's best friends. Mikey, this is Claire, John's wife. The baby she's holding is John's son, John Junior."
"So, John has a son,"He reflected,"Never thought I'd see the day."
"So where is John,"I asked.
"At work,"Claire said,"He'll be home in a minute."
When John got home, Mikey and John greeted with a hug. John, Mikey, and I sat on the couch to talk. Claire watched little Johnny in the crib, which was moved to John and Claire's room.
"Where've you been, Mike,"John asked.
"My birthmother wanted to take me back,"Mikey said,"So they moved me, all the way back to Springfield. She lived in a damn trailer park, said she'd give me a better life, but.."He chuckled sadly,"I lived with my family for five years, and that BITCH thinks she can just take me away.."
"So, what happened,"I asked.
"She OD'd,"He said,"About a month ago. I got back here, just in time for Christmas."
Mikey was a good guy who'd been dealt a rough hand. His father ran out on him when he was six. He was taken away from his mother (when she went to jail for drug charges) when he was 8. He went to about ten different foster homes between Springfield and Shermer, untill he finally got a break. When he was twelve, he was taken in by a foster family who cared for him.
Later that night...
I called Brian to talk. I told him about Mikey.
"That's great,"He said,"Is that the guy who made me do his homework?"
"I think you're confusing him with literally everyone else,"I joked.
"Funny,"He joked.
"There's something else,"I said.
"What?"
"I joined the math club,"I said.
"Terrific."
"But don't tell John."
"Another thing to not tell John."
"Bye Brian, I love you."
"I love you too, Sammy. Bye."
John's POV
I snuck out to the garage again and opened the beer in the mini-fridge. It was a six pack. I drank four. I knew it was a bad habit, but that's just what it was, a habit. I stashed the cans at the bottom of the trash and went inside to see Claire and the baby. The baby. I love little Johnny. I watched him sleep in his crib.
"I just fed him,"Claire said.
I jumped when she spoke. She was right beside me.
"Sorry,"She said,"Didn't mean to scare you."
"It's okay,"I said,"I'm almost finished with the book."
She grabbed my hand. I flinched.
"That's great John,"She exclaimed,"What's wrong with you? You're jumpy."
"I'm fine,"I said,"I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep."
"Okay, John,"She said,and kissed me,"I love you."
"I love you too,"I said.
I lied down in the bed and closed my eyes. You don't deserve her, you drunk piece of shit! You're just like your father!
Thursday, February 14...
Sammy's POV
Brian visited his father at their new apartment(which they'd gotten at the beginning of February after selling the house) for his birthday. John, Claire, and I went there. We of course brought little Johnny, who was now almost two months old. Brian got presents and cake. After cake, Brian handed me a box of chocolates and flowers.
"Happy Valentines day,"He said.
"I still can't believe your birthday is on Valentines day,"I said.
"Maybe that's why I'm so romantic,"Brian joked.
"SOMEONE is full of themselves,"John said behind us.
Tuesday, March 5...
John's POV
I continued writing in my book as Claire was at the store and I watched the baby. I put my pen to the paper, reaching the part where Allison says her signature catchphrase:
"It's unavoidable,"Allison says, looking at everyone and grinning,"When you grow up..your heart dies."
"Who cares,"I spat.
That was the truth, I didn't care. My heart is already dead. It died years ago.
Monday, March 11...
I'd finished the last paragraph of the book when little John started to cry. It was his feeding time. I held him and fed him as Claire walked in the door.
"Hey John,"She greeted me.
"I finished the story,"I said.
She read the story as I put little John back in his crib.
"What about Monday,"She asked.
"Make them guess,"I joked.
"When do you want it published,"She asked.
"March twenty eighth,"I said.
Thursday, March 28...
Turns out Claire knows some people in high places. My story was copyrighted and published by March 28. They were sending us a copy of the book. It was set to be sold in bookstores within a few months.
Sammy's POV
Mikey and I ditched first hour and got detention. Mikey drove me home that day after school. When I got in the house, John was waiting for me. When he looked at me, I saw a crazy, blood-thirsty look in his eyes, like our father had when he was angry.
"You got detention,huh,"He asked.
His smile looked almost devious.
"Yeah,"I answered nervously.
"It's kind of ironic, you know,"He said.
"Wh..why's that,"I asked.
"This was the day I met the Club,"He said.
His laugh sent chills down my spine.
"Where's Claire,"I asked.
"Running some errands,"He said.
Fuck. I'm dead. Dead. I started for a dead run toward my room.
John's POV
I went to her room and found her hiding under her bed, her eyes closed.
"Sammy,"I said,"What are you doing?"
She opened her eyes.
"How'd you know I was here,"She asked.
"I know all the tricks,"I said,"I taught you...remember?"
She crawled out from under the bed.
"What happened,"I asked.
"I panicked,"She said,"There was this look in your eyes..You looked like, our father for a second."
I helped her up.
"You..remind me of him sometimes,"She said.
"I...remind you of him,"I asked sadly.
"It's not like that,"She said,"It's just how you look. You're better than him, can't you see that, Johnny? You'll NEVER be like him."
Suddenly, a wailing came from my room. I ran to little John's crib, Sammy following. I picked him up.
"Stinky diaper,"She asked.
"Stinky diaper,"I agreed.
I changed the baby's diaper. Sammy laughed when he peed on me.
"You wanna do this?"
"No,"She chuckled.
I threw the dirty diaper away and set the baby back in the crib. I handed him his rattle to play with.
"You're not mad, John,"She asked.
"No,"I said,"How could I be? My book got published!"
"That's great, John,"She exclaimed.
Saturday, March 30...
Mike's POV
I was walking to detention, late as usual, when I heard Sammy and Vernon arguing.
"You Benders have been a pain in my ass for too long,"Vernon yelled.
"I told you to leave my brother out of this,"Sammy yelled.
SMACK! I ran into the library as Vernon was leaving.
"Nice to see you finally decided to show up,"he said sarcastically.
I ran over to where Sammy stood. She was hunched over, holding her nose.
"What happened?"
"He hit me."
"Come on,"I pulled her arm.
"Where are we going,"She asked.
"We're leaving,"I said.
She followed me out to my car.
"Get in,"I said.
She got into the passenger seat. I handed her a napkin from the cup-holder, which she put under her nose.
Sammy's POV
"Seriously, Mikey,"I said,"Where are we going?"
"You'll see,"He said,"Still bleeding?"
I crumpled up the napkin and threw it out the window.
"No,"I said,"Barely bled at all."
We pulled into a driveway.
"My house,"I asked.
"Yep,"He said.
"John will not be happy about this,"I stated.
He got out of the car and went to knock on the front door. I slouched in the passenger seat when John answered the door. Mike spoke frantically, then he and John came over to where I was. I got out.
"Are you okay,"John asked.
I nodded.
"I told you he had it out for me,"I joked.
John laughed and hugged me. We went inside the house. John let me lay on the couch after he examined my nose.
"Definitely not broken,"He said,"Does it hurt?"
"A little,"I said.
He and Mikey stood behind the couch.
"This is my fault, you know,"John said,"I fucked up, and now you pay the price."
"He's not getting AWAY with this,"Mikey asked.
"No way,"John said,"No one hurts my sister."
Sunday, March 31...
Brian visited me at my house.
"So, he hit you,"Brian asked, surprised.
"Yeah,"I said,"John was pissed. So was Claire, and Mikey. They want him fired for this."
"He should be,"Brian said.
"What's wrong Brian,"I asked.
He snuggled closer to me on the couch.
"I've been taking medicine,"He said.
"What kind of medicine?"
"To make me stay awake,"He said,"So I can study more."
"Pep pills,"I exclaimed,"You're taking PEP PILLS! Those are like heroin."
"They're not that bad,"He defended.
"You're always so hard on yourself,"He said,"You HAVE to stop."
He stared intently at me, his eyes like ocean waves. There's a storm in the ocean.
"I don't deserve you,"He said.
"Yes you do,"I said.
He kissed me gently.
"I hope I never lose you,"He said.
"Nobody's home, Bri,"I said,"John and Claire are on a date. The baby's at a sitter's."
"Really,"He asked.
"Yep,"I said.
He smiled.
"I see what you're getting at,"He said slyly.
We started kissing. He grabbed at the sides of my shirt to remove it.
"Wait,"I said.
"What,"He asked.
"We should go to my room,"I said,"Just..in case."
He agreed and followed me to my room. I shut the door. He continued to remove my shirt, then ran his hands down the sides of my hips, slowly undoing my pants. I did the same with him. I felt his warmth as he crawled on top of me. I smiled, I loved the way he felt, the warmth he possessed, the closeness. I loved him with every fiber of my being.
"You're good at this,"I whispered to him.
He reached to the side of the bed for his clothes and begun putting them on. He reached for my clothes and handed them to me.
Brian's POV
Sammy lied on the bed, looking like she was about to cry.
"What's wrong,"I asked,"Did I hurt you?"
She blinked away tears, they fell on her cheeks.
"You didn't hurt me,"She said.
"Then what's wrong,"I asked,"Why are you crying?"
"The last time...I was WITH anyone,"She started,"Was...September."
I sat down by her. I grabbed her hair gently.
"This made you remember them,"I asked.
She shook her head.
"I'm happy, Brian,"She said,"You made me forget."
I touched the noticeable bump on her stomach.
"Promise me you won't throw it away,"I said,"Please."
"Why would I do that,"She asked.
"Just, promise,"I asked.
"All right,"She said,"I promise."
Wednesday, April 10...
Sammy was in the hospital. She was having her baby early. John stayed in the room with Sammy. Claire and I were in the waiting room. She was holding John Jr. Sammy wanted for us to keep the birth as secret as possible.
John's POV
"You can do it, Sammy,"I encouraged her.
She screamed as the doctor waited for the baby to come out. I held Sammy's hand tightly. Luckily, she was able to have a natural birth. The doctor grabbed the baby as it came out.
"It's a girl,"The doctor said.
They let Sammy see the baby, then took it to another room to be examined.
"Do you know who's adopting it,"I asked.
"Mikey's parents,"She said.
Mikey's parents, Robert and Angela, came by later to see the baby and talk to Sammy and I. And to fill out papers of course.
"All the papers are done on our end,Sammy,"Angela said,"What about yours?"
"Almost,"Sammy said.
Sammy reached into the pocket of her jacket beside her and pulled out a letter. She handed it to Angela.
"I want her to read this,"Sammy said,"When she's old enough. She needs to know her mother didn't hate her."
Angela nodded.
Friday, April 19...
THIRD PERSON POV
Blaine was shocked when he got a letter in jail. His family had cut him off, and he wondered who would possibly mail him. The letter came in a 4x9 inch white envelope and the return address was a dorm at the college. He opened it. Inside was a piece of ruled paper, folded in three. He unfolded it. Inside,attached with a paper clip, was a wallet-sized picture of a baby with red hair. He began reading the letter.
Blaine,
This letter in no way means that I forgive you for what you did. I just thought I should tell you. What you did made me pregnant. I had a baby, on Wednesday, April 10th. She was born early, but she's fine. The baby is with her adopted parents. I won't tell you who they are. The name of the baby is printed on the back of the picture. This is all you will ever see of her.
From,
Samantha
He put the letter back into the envelope and looked at the picture. The back of it said, Cynthia April 10, 1985. He knew he deserved this. The baby was HIS daughter, but a baby produced from rape, a permanent reminder of the sick crime he committed.