(I don't actually have much to say) So, I don't do that often, but text in italic means flashback (yay, flashback XD)
Chapter 38: The path forward. (part 1)
Kaiba absentmindedly took a sip of sip of his black coffee as he stared out the windows at the raising sun. It had been an exhausting night for him. He had taken Anzu to his own room after she had fallen asleep and he took his little brother's, not wanting to risk hurting her again. However he hadn't been able to sleep, too many memories and emotions kept coming back to him as soon as he closed his eyes. He has spent almost ten years trying to forget those times, acting like it was nothing. But now that he had forced himself to open back to old wounds, he realized just how much it had affected him. How much he had suffered and how much of himself he had lost on the way.
Yet, at the same time, he felt oddly calm over the whole matter. It was a strange feeling, nothing had actually changed, his past would remain the same but he felt lighter...liberated. He had been living with the pain for so long it had practically became a part of him, he was so accustomed to it that he stopped questioning it's existence and lived with it as it slowly destroyed him. But Anzu had made him aware of it again and then forced him to face it, taking some of the weight on her own shoulder. For the first time in years, he felt like there was something in front of him, like he could actually live his life instead of going through it because it was there. All he had to do was take this chance...However...
Kaiba sighed as he put the empty cup down on the table, he stood up and went to his room. He stopped at the door and watched Anzu as she slept. He wanted to walk in, go to her and just hold her close to him forever...But he turned around and left. Silently he put on his jacket, check that he had his wallet and his keys and made his way down the door of the apartment and into his office. As he reached out for the door of his office someone called out to him.
"I had a feeling you'd try and run away."
Startled, Kaiba turned around and saw his little brother, sitting behind his desk, smirking. "Mokuba? What are you doing here?"
Mokuba sighed. "Seriously Seto, why do you keep screwing everything up? You've just basically opened your whole heart to her, why are you turning away again now?"
"That's not what it is." Kaiba replied weakly
"Then why are you sneaking out at 6 in the morning? Seto, why are you denying yourself happiness? You like her, you want to be with her so why the hell do you keep turning your back to her?"
"It's complicated."
"No it's not!"
"She deserves better than someone like me."
Mokuba laughed. "For a self-centered egoistical jerk you are being unusually selfless on this one." The teen answered. "Shouldn't it be the other way around? After all, you are the ridiculously rich handsome genius."
Kaiba frowned but gave no answer and turned around to leave.
"Or is it because you killed Gozaburo? Is that why you think you don't deserve to be with her?"
Kaiba froze dead in his track, slowly, he turned around and stared at his brother with wide eyes.
Mokuba smiled sadly. "Yes, I know what happened that night...I often sneaked out of my room when Gozaburo was giving you personnal 'lessons'. I thought I was responsible for all the pain he was putting you through so whenever I could I'd sneak out and force myself to listen. I considered it my punishment. I'm sure Gozaburo knew, and actually enjoyed knowing that I was there. Usually I stayed far enough not to be noticed, but when I heard him yell, I knew something was wrong and decided to check it out. When I arrived I saw Roland drag you out of the room, your hands were covered in blood."
"You really saw that?" He asked, a mixture of pain and sorrow on his face.
Mokuba nodded. "But...you didn't kill him, Seto."
Kaiba frowned. "What are you talking about."
"Roland came back into the office and...I heard him. Gozaburo...I was too far away to understand but I heard them argue, he was yelling. Then there was a gunshot... I got scared and ran back to my room."
The corridors were almost completely deserted as Kaiba strode through them in a fast pace. It was still early so barely anyone was in the building but he knew that he would already be there and he knew exactly where to find him at this time. The few maintenance worker and security guard he crossed on his way hurried out of his path as if simply being in his way would cost them their jobs. Considering his mood, it was very probable. He was beyond mad, amongst other things, he wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling but anger was definitely one of them...
"That's the best you could come up with in my absence?"
He stayed silent, he had learned long ago that there was no right answer to give. Nothing he did would ever be enough, it was best to endure silently than try and protest.
"All those years, the best tutors and all the money I invested and that's what I get. You are nothing but a disappointment, perhaps I should have chosen your brother as my heir."
Once again he gave no answer. There was a time when he would have been enraged by the thought of the man even looking in his brother's general direction. But those were other times, when he was someone else. This was actually a day like any other, his step father would insult his work, try to bait him with some insult or treat, then he'd get annoyed by his lack of reaction and would beat him a little for good measure. He knew what would happen if he dared to talk back.
When the first hit came, he didn't do anything to block it. That would have been a mistake. Still he doubled over in pain when Gozaburo punched him in the stomach. Although he couldn't breath he forced himself back to his feet. Being on the ground exposed him to being kicked, he had learned quickly that kicks hurt more than punches. Some more insults followed, accompanied by another hit. He grit his teeth in pain but otherwise stayed silent. This was just foreplay, a little game his step-dad liked to play with him, although the rules of the game were ever changing depending on the older man's mood.
He endured every word and hit silently, knowing that if he held on long enough, Gozaburo would eventually (hopefully) get bored and leave. However, when Gozaburo tried to punch him in the stomach for a third time, he couldn't stop himself and blocked him. He almost cursed himself, he saw the faked frowned of disappointment on his step-father's face, but more so the satisfaction in his eyes. He knew he had lost.
Without warning, Kaiba barged into the main security room, where Roland was meeting with the various teams leader in the security department. Instantly, as they were trained to, all of them were halfway up with their hand on their weapon. But they stopped dead in their track as they saw exactly who was standing before them.
Before he could brace himself, Gozaburo kneed him in the stomach and he fell to the ground. Quickly, the man pulled up up by his hair and pushed him down on his desk, twisting one of his arm behind his back until he yelled out in pain. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Gozaburo's paperweight not too far away, it was made from solid stone. For a fleeting second, the thought of grabbing the object crossed his mind. He could use it to defend himself, to get away from Gozaburo... but for what? He'd never make it out of the mansion and Gozaburo would make him pay, it wasn't worth it.
"SETO, STOP!"
"Everyone, out. Now!" Kaiba ordered while glaring at Roland, indicating that he was to stay.
Suddenly, his arm was free, but something was pulling him back by his neck and his other arm. He blinked and what he saw froze him on the spot. Gozaburo was on the ground, there was blood on his face and on the ground around his head. He felt a heavy weight in the hand that was being restricted, he looked up at it and saw the paperweight in his hand, both covered in blood. Stupefied, he dropped it to the ground, and turned his gaze back to the inanimate body of his step-father. His eyes widened and his breathing became erratic as he slowly realized what he had done.
He was turned around and absentmindedly noted that Roland was calling out his name. However, he couldn't make out the words, he couldn't stop staring at his hands. Roland grabbed his hand and pulled him behind him out of the office and to his bedroom. Roland dragged him to his adjacent bathroom, let go of him and walked back to the bedroom. He turned his head and saw his reflexion in the mirror, he had speckles of blood on his clothes and face. He stayed there, fascinated by this reflexion until Roland came back with a fresh set of clothes in his hand, he set the clothes on the counter and spoke. Although still in a daze, he understood what was expected of him and stripped out of his blood stained clothes before going into the shower. He noticed that Roland picked up his clothes before leaving.
Everyone but Roland quickly grabbed their belonging and left, some giving Roland short curious or worried look before leaving, wondering what their Roland might have done to anger Kaiba that much. Roland himself actually looked a little paler than usual, he clearly wasn't used to be on the receiving end of Kaiba's anger.
At first he only stared as the blood quickly washed away from his hands. Suddenly, out of habit, he was taken over by fear of what Gozaburo would do to him for that...but then, he realized how stupid that thought was. He couldn't believe it...had he really did that? He didn't even remember, one moment he was being pinned down...and the next... Had it really been this easy? Just like that, his step-father was gone...He started to chuckle. All those years of pain, it was all over now, he was gone, he'd never hurt him again. His chuckle turned into a full laugh. He was free.
"You lied to me." Kaiba accused him once they were alone, glaring daggers at his chief of security. He couldn't remember ever being so mad yet he didn't even fully understand why he was so man, which only aggravated him further.
Roland raised an eyebrow in confusion. "...Exactly what are we talking about?"
"You killed him!" He yelled, his voice almost cracking.
The bodyguard frowned, he had rarely seen his boss in such a state and wasn't sure exactly what was going on. "Seto, calm down. What are y-
"Gozaburo!" Kaiba cut him off, clenching his hands into fist to stop them from shaking. "Mokuba heard you arguing with him after you took me away."
Roland stared wide eyed at him. "...Mokuba?" He sighed as he averted his eyes, he passed his hand through his hair before saying. "He was going to kill you...I took his gun from him...and made it look like he killed himself."
Kaiba felt as if a weight suddenly appeared in his stomach as he heard Roland confess. "All this time... you let me believe that I did it." Kaiba said, his voice suddenly sounding dangerously calm in contrast to his apparent fury.
Roland had the decency to look ashamed as he tried to explain himself. "If I had told you the truth, you would have used it against me."
Kaiba clenched his teeth as he burned holes in the older man. Deep down, he knew that the guards words were true, he's past self would have used the knowledge to make him pay for not helping him. Yet that only served to add more anger to all his conflicting emotions. "Get out of my sight." He said through his teeth.
Roland stood up and came closer to him. "Seto, listen..." He started to say, as he tried to put a hand on Kaiba's shoulder, trying to fix this. But Kaiba slapped his arm away.
The CEO looked at him with the coldest eyes Roland had ever seen. When he told him again to get lost, the bodyguard figured that insisting further would be dangerous and left.
God finally, After months of trying to decide how I wanted this to go I've finally managed to find just the perfect and most awesome way ever. Usually it should have been only one chapter, but it turned out longer than I expected. However, now that I've finally figured out what I was going to do, it's going to be a lot easier.