Later that afternoon, Evan and Crane, Brian and Adam, all went over to help a neighbor load some cattle. It had been talked about, and
decided that the majority of us were going into Angels Camp to eat pizza later that night. I'd thought about it, and decided it might
help me to go along. I hoped it would help to take my mind off of tomorrow. I didn't expect that I would get much, if any, sleep that night.
Besides, I thought that if the truth was known, my brothers had put their heads together and planned the pizza night out for my benefit.
They would all be knowing how I was feeling.
As I was walking thru the living room, Hannah told me to go get my skirt off of her bed so that I could get it ironed.
"It's alright," I said.
"Harlie, it's wrinkled."
"It's not that bad."
"It is that bad. You can't wear it that way," she protested.
I shrugged, and she said impatiently, "Go on and get it. I'll do it for you."
I went upstairs, grabbed the skirt and my hairbrush and went back down, handing the skirt to Hannah, where she was setting up the ironing board,
in the corner of the living room.
I went to flop down on the couch beside Guthrie, where he was watching television.
"What's on?" I asked him, and he blew a big bubble from his gum, and said, without looking up,
"Fall Guy."
Daniel, sitting on the opposite side in the old brown rocker, his foot crossed and resting on his other knee, had been busy
scribbling on a piece of paper. Probably song lyrics.
I looked up to see him scrutinizing me, with his forehead all wrinkled.
When he didn't look away, I said, "What's wrong?"
"I'm just wondering why Hannah's ironing your dress."
"Skirt," I corrected him.
"What?"
"It's a skirt. Not a dress."
"Skirt, then. Why is she ironing it?" he asked.
"Um, because it's wrinkled?" I said, sassy.
Daniel frowned at me, obviously not amused.
"Don't be a smartass. You know what I mean. Why aren't you doin' it yourself?"
I stared at him. "Hannah doesn't mind."
"I didn't ask if she minded."
I was startled. He was practically fuming. What the heck?
I turned and looked over the back of the couch towards Hannah. "Do you want me to do it?" I asked, raising my voice so she could
hear me.
"I'm nearly finished now," she said. "I'll go ahead and do up some more that needs done while the ironing board's set up."
I turned back around and looked at Daniel, shrugging, as if to say, 'see what I mean'?
Daniel made a huffing sound, and went back to scribbling on the notebook paper he held.
I regarded him curiously at first, and began brushing my hair, working thru the tangles that had accumulated.
After the episode of The Fall Guy was over, Guthrie got up and ambled towards the kitchen. Hannah had finished her ironing
and stored the ironing board back in the cupboard where we keep the vacuum cleaner and other stuff.
She followed Guthrie to the kitchen, which left Daniel and I alone. I looked his direction again. He was immersed in
his writing.
I got up and turned off the television, and then sat back down again, pulling my hair over my shoulder and starting to
braid it.
When several minutes went by without any comment, or even a look in my direction from Daniel, I ventured into the
silence. "How come you're mad at me?"
Daniel went on with his writing, and didn't bother to look up. "Don't worry about it," he said curtly.
I thought about getting up and flouncing off, like people do in the movies. But I didn't think it would impress Daniel, or
affect him, either way. He most likely wouldn't take any notice at all, if I did.
So, I sat there, watching him covertly, still brushing the end of my braid. I started feeling weepy and
emotional.
"I don't know what I did to piss you off," I said, feeling sorry for myself. As if I didn't have enough to deal with, Daniel had to
start acting like a jerk to me.
"You don't, huh?" he asked, his voice clipped.
"No. I don't. The least you could do if you're mad at a person is to tell them why!"
Daniel laid his pen down on the table with a snap, and finally looked up at me. "Okay. You've got it. Where do you
get off treatin' Hannah like a maid?"
I was honestly confused. "I don't treat her like a maid," I denied.
"Yeah? Then why was she doin' something like ironing your skirt, when she's got a thousand other things she'd probably
rather be doin'?"
I blinked at him, trying to wrap my mind around what he was saying to me, and formulate a defense of myself.
And just like that, I knew that Daniel was right. Hannah was busy enough. She shouldn't have to do anything extra
for me, just because I was feeling so low. I was more than capable of doing my own ironing.
I knew I was going to cry. And I was determined to do it in private.
I got to my feet, and ran up the stairs to my bedroom, slamming the door. I laid on my
bed for a long time, crying. It seemed like that was all I felt like doing lately. I got up long enough to grab a handful
of Kleenex from the desk, and then went to lay back down, wiping at my face with them, and facing the wall.
I was still laying that way, on my side, one arm stretched out so I could rest my cheek on it, when there was a rapping on
my door.
I hoped it was Guthrie. I didn't feel like talking to anyone else.
When I didn't answer, there was another knock.
"Can I come in?"
Daniel.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Daniel was at the top of the list of people I didn't feel like talking to.
I heard the door open, and then shut. He sat down on the bed beside me. I kept my eyes closed, and tried to make
my breathing sound steady, like I was sleeping.
I heard him sigh heavily. "Pretending to be asleep? What are you, five years old?"
Well, that made me mad. But, it had really been a dumb thing to do. I should have known he wouldn't fall for it.
So I opened my eyes, and pushed my hair out of my face. But I didn't answer, or look at him, either.
"You still gonna go eat pizza with everybody?" he asked.
I lifted my shoulders in a shrug and didn't answer.
"So I get the silent treatment now, huh?" he asked me then.
After another couple moments of silence, he sighed again. "Okay. Fine. Have it your way." I heard the bed squeak
as he got to his feet. "But, hey, before I go, you left this downstairs." And then he gave me a whack on
the seat of my jeans with my hairbrush.
I gasped at the sudden sting, and turned over fast. My face, I knew, was beet red. I could feel it.
"That hurt, Daniel!"
"Yeah? Well, I must have done it right, then." He stuck his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.
I stared at him, still shocked.
"So, we're goin' to be headin' out soon to the pizza place. If you're goin', you'd better get yourself together."
He went out then, shutting the door quietly behind him. After a few minutes of still feeling in shock by Daniel's attitude and
actions, I sat up, gathering up all the Kleenexes, and then getting up to drop them in the trash can by the desk. I went to pick up
my brush off the bed where Daniel had left it, and put it back on my nightstand. I rubbed at the spot he'd whacked. It
was still stinging.
I tucked my shirt into my jeans, and picked up my boots, going downstairs.
The guys had gotten home from the neighbor's house, and the house was alive with noise and activity. Nancy was there, too,
in the midst of the chaos.
"Hey, wild child," she greeted me.
"Hi."
"You ready to go eat some pizza?" she asked me.
"Yeah. I guess." I turned to look at Hannah.
"Are you and Adam coming?" I asked her.
"Well, Adam and I aren't, and I don't think Brian and Clare are, either, but you should go along with everybody. It will be good
for you," Hannah said.
"Yeah, shortcake, come on," Evan said, giving my braid a tug.
I could see Ford and Guthrie pulling on their jackets, and then Ford went with Crane as he left to go pick Lila up.
Evan was asking Daniel if he was riding with him and Nancy, or with Guthrie, who was going to pick Kristin up, before meeting up
with everybody.
It was decided that Daniel would go with Guthrie, which left me the choice of being the third person in Evan's truck, or the third one in Guthrie's
to Kristin's house, after which I'd have to sit on Daniel's lap. That choice did not appeal to me, so I opted for Evan and Nancy.
On the way to the pizza parlor in Angels Camp, Nancy kept up a steady stream of conversation, trying to draw me into it.
When we got to the pizza place, we went on in, where Evan told them we'd need a table for nine. We ordered drinks, and I told
the waitress I wanted a Coke. Diabetes be hanged.
Crane and Ford arrived first, accompanied by Lila. What I knew of Lila, I liked. I could see why Crane was interested in her. She
was attractive, and seemed really nice, though she was very quiet.
By the time Guthrie and Daniel and Kristin got there, we'd already ordered several pizzas with a variety of toppings.
I stood up to greet Kristin with a hug. It seemed like forever since I'd seen her.
"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you," she said. "I know it's been a horrible week for you."
"It's alright."
"I got another job here in Angel's Camp at the movie rental store," she said quietly. She leaned closer to me and said, "I've
got to help Mom with the bills. Frank's been gone for over a week, and we need the money."
We had a whispered conversation about Frank, and the possibilities of where he might have gone, or if he'd be back.
"How's your mom handling it?" I asked.
"Surprisingly well," Kristin said.
A sudden happy thought occurred to me then. "Are you not going to San Francisco then?" I asked her.
"It doesn't look like we will be," she said, and I gave her arm a squeeze.
"That's great news," I told her. "Guthrie didn't tell me."
"I told him to wait to say anything. I knew you had enough to think about, and I wanted to make sure Mom wouldn't
weaken and take Frank back. But I think she's actually strong enough now to refuse him if he does come around."
The thought of Kristin staying was a very reassuring thing for me.
"This way I'll be around so we can make a plan for me to hogtie Guthrie one of these days, and we'll be sisters for real," she whispered to me.
I smiled at her. "Count me in on that plan," I told her.
7
I didn't eat that much. I finished one piece of pizza, but halfway thru the second piece, I pushed my plate away.
I looked around the table. Everybody was talking together, and laughing. I wished I felt like laughing. I wondered if I would
ever feel like laughing again.
So far this evening, I had studiously managed to avoid Daniel. It felt weird to me to be on the outs with Daniel. Next to Guthrie, Daniel
has always been my go-to guy, my simpatico. I didn't like the tension between us. It made me feel even sadder.
When the pizzas had been done away with, and the two pitchers of beer were gone, we all stood around outside in a big
circle, talking. It was decided that we would all go back to the house, and play some card games, or listen to Daniel and Crane play some
music. Except for Kristin, who needed Guthrie to drop her off at the video store to work. I managed to again wrangle a ride with Evan
and Nancy.
I was lost in my own thoughts. I remembered at my birthday, when Clare had given me the handmade wooden frame that
someone she knew had made. I planned to ask her about an idea that I had.
When we got home, we found Hannah and Adam, Clare and Brian, already involved in a game of Uno.
"How was the pizza?" Adam asked, of everybody in general.
"Great. You guys missed out," Ford informed them.
Another deck of Uno was brought out, and Evan and Ford went to find another card table. I shook my head when
Ford told me to sit down and play.
"No, thanks," I said. "I'll just watch."
"Then I'll watch, too," Nancy said, flopping down beside me on the couch. Not for the first time, I thought how
great a person that she was. After a half-hour of watching the Uno games, Nancy's eyes landed upon some of the photo albums
on the bookshelves.
"Are those old photo albums?" she asked me.
"Yeah. The ones in the albums are the ones my mom did when the boys were all little."
"Are there some pictures of Evan?" she asked, looking hopeful.
"Only about ten million," I told her, with dry humor.
"Could I look at them?" she asked, and I obligingly went over to pull them off the shelves and laid them in her lap.
"Be sure to show her the ones of Evan in his diaper," Brian volunteered.
Nancy giggled. "That I would like to see," she said, as Evan glowered at Brian.
As the evening wound down to a close, Crane left to take Lila home, and Nancy got around to leave as well.
"I'll be there tomorrow," she told me.
I nodded. "Okay."
"Evan said he's going to stick close. Your brothers have your back," she reassured me.
I knew that to be the truth, for sure. I nodded, and said, "I know they do."
I went up to get into my pajamas, and then padded back downstairs barefooted to do my shot.
The kitchen was still full of McFaddens. Guthrie was perched on the kitchen counter, eating cookies, and
drinking a glass of milk. Adam and Ford were sitting at the table, Adam drinking his standard cup of coffee. Daniel was leaning
against the opposite counter, listening to their conversation, and munching on an apple. I went to stand near Guthrie.
"Kristin told me the good news," I said.
"Yeah. It's great, isn't it?"
"Are you staying in my room tonight?" I asked.
"If you want me to."
"Yeah. I want you to."
Guthrie nodded, and tossed back the last of his milk, hopping off the counter. "Gonna grab a shower," he announced,
to no one in particular.
Ford and Adam were talking about Ford's college classes for the upcoming semester. I risked a look at Daniel, and
he must have sensed it, because he turned to look at me at almost the same moment.
"Hey," I said quietly, somberly.
"Hey," Daniel answered, just as somberly.
There was an awkward moment then, with us just looking at one another and neither one of us saying anything.
"I was thinkin' about doin' a little star gazing," he said. "Want to sit with me while I do?"
A feeling of relief that was nearly tangible washed over me. Daniel was bridging the chasm between us.
All I said, though, was, "Yes. Sure."
Daniel led the way, and I followed behind, past Adam and Ford, out of the kitchen and thru the living room, to the front porch.
He went out, held the door for me, and then let it slam shut. Daniel went to sit down in the porch swing.
When I hesitated, he gestured to the spot beside him on the swing. "Best seat in the house right here," he said.
I went to sit down beside him, and he gave the swing a push with the toe of his boot to start it swinging.
We swayed in gentle motion for a few minutes, both of us gazing at the sky.
"The sky sure is lit up tonight, isn't it?" Daniel said.
"Yeah. It's beautiful." I realized what I'd said, and I added, "That's the first time I've thought about anything being beautiful since
I heard about-what happened to Doc G."
Daniel was silent, and I gathered my courage, and discarded my pride.
"I guess I was pretty thoughtless about Hannah today." I continued. "I don't want to take advantage of her. I love her
too much for that."
When Daniel didn't say anything, I turned to look at him in the darkness, with only the light coming from the living room
window on his face.
"I shouldn't have ignored you when you were trying to talk to me," I admitted.
"Nope. You shouldn't have," Daniel said, but there was no malice in his voice.
"I feel like I'm going crazy, Daniel," I said, almost in a whisper. "I really miss Doc G."
In response, Daniel reached over and took my hand in his, holding it tightly. "I know you miss him," he said, and then
added, "But you're gonna be alright."
"How do you know for sure?" I asked, still in a near whisper.
"Because," he said simply, his voice firm. "I say you will be."
7