Day 4: Early Morning
Atlas Verdini, 18, D7:
My feet thud the ground, carrying me at a fast pace. I feel my arms swing side by side, and my heart thump through my chest as I sprint as fast as I can. A few feet ahead of me, doing the same, I can see the outline of Minho doing a hard sprint, evading the trees and not appearing to tire.
I can also hear the same behind me, with Aramid panting hard as he strives to keep up with us, which he isn't doing too bad of a job at. He did state earlier that running isn't his forte. The question is, why are we running exactly? Well, about five minutes ago, a cannon boomed. We had been searching, searching day in and day out, just to try and find the rest of our alliance. After the storm occurred in the middle island, we had clearly been incredibly separated from each other.
We believe we may have gotten close to them after a day or two of searching, because yesterday morning, an incredibly loud and powerful wind swept over our area, pushing us back and forcing us to back track. So we may have been close, and the Gamemakers may have purposefully led us in another direction, or perhaps I should say forced.
We ended up on the forest island, particularly in a very dense and compacted area. I cannot see the sky above as the trees manage to block out any view of the eerily blue and ominous night sky. In fact this is the reason we are running. Due to the cannon firing, we now know that someone else has died, potentially even more could have been masked by the winds earlier. We can hear the Capitol Anthem playing, yet we cannot see the projection in the sky, so we desperately search for a clearing that we can see it in, before it disappears.
"Over here," I hear Minho call out in a hurry. I spot him illuminated by the moon and projection above, in presumably a clearing of the canopy of trees. I give one last sprint over to him, slowing down when I reach the area and looking up in an instant. I look up silently as Aramid reaches us as well, panting with fatigue and wearily looking up at the sky.
We needed to know if the cannon belonged to an ally of ours. We now know, and luckily it doesn't. I'm not sure how to feel when my eyes rest upon the face of Danix, sea green eyes shy and nervous just as he had been in the Capitol. In all honesty, I don't feel remorse, or that much emotion at all. He was just another victim, of the burden that has been placed on all of us.
I had never spoken to Danix, nor had I ever really noticed him. All that I know, is that he was allied with Laelia. My eyes flash to Minho, scanning him to see if he has realized that Laelia might have been a cannon that boomed when the winds were occurring. He stares at the projection, eyes hard and solemn. The projection itself changes from Danix's face, to once again the Capitol Seal, as the rest of the anthem begins to play out.
I expect Minho to let out some sort of relieving breath, or just some sort of acknowledgment that Laelia, his own District partner, is still alive. However he says something completely different.
"I think there was someone else that died, we just missed out on seeing them though," he says with a grunt. I don't really take note of what he says after this, instead I sigh in relief, sinking to the ground on my knees. My mind had been panicking for the last five minutes, my insides eating themselves up in anguish. This is because, the single thought that the cannon belonged to Libra, hit me hard in the chest.
I have not rested these past three days, I have searched endlessly for them, for her, but there has been no indication to where they are. I don't even know who is with who. The missing ones, Libra of course, Rexx, Hera, Vince, and my closest friend here, Phionex. Two of the people I care most for in this arena, I have been separated from.
It's better than them being dead, I think to myself. That may be true, but who knows if I'll ever find them before their death becomes a reality. Libra could be all alone for all I know, surrounded by tributes such as Fletcher. . . or Haim.
I grit my teeth at the thought of Haim. I should have killed him at the beginning, or the bloodbath as we have been calling it. I should have just finished him off, the opportunity was there. I didn't take it though. Why? Why was I so hesitant? That wouldn't have been the first time I've killed, that would have prevented the possibility of him being able to get near Libra, so why?
At the time, I didn't know that we were about to be separated. How was I meant to know? I feel like punching the floor in anger, at the thought that Libra could be in the hands of Haim right now, he could be doing anything to her, violating her, ravaging her, raping her. It's like my brain freezes, the horrific thought consuming it, the whole idea that Libra could be in trouble. I feel the chill run down my spine, my muscles tense and my body shake.
Calm down, calm down Atlas, Libra is fine, she is probably with some of the others. She'll be fine. She'll be fine. . . But will she? The image, the memory, of that night, the night that had shaped the rest of my life, comes flowing back to me. My mother, lying raped and stabbed on the floor of her own bedroom, struggling to stay alive, naked and violated, the tears in her eyes, trickling down her cheeks. All because I wasn't there to protect her. Despite my father's presence, they still both perished. If I had been there, it may have turned out differently, but I wasn't. The worst part about it, is now, I am not with Libra.
I expect tears to come, for my body to heave with emotions, to collapse to the ground to wallow in my own pity. None of that happens though, my common sense comes through. A coldness sweeps over my body, some determined type of will power. Just like before, the tenseness, the anger, but now it is accompanied by determination. My eyes flit to Minho and Aramid as I rise to my feet. Both of them appear to be worn, fatigued, restless, perhaps hoping to set up camp for a while.
That isn't happening. Not while I am surged with this sheer determination.
"We are finding them," I instruct. I half predict them to groan and whine, begging me to rest and take a break from searching for one night. Aramid however, stands right up looking attentive.
"I want to find Hera, let's go," he says bluntly, not doing so much as looking at me. Minho is more reluctant, groaning as he pushes himself up and stretching his back.
"Perhaps we should actually try to search another island, we have searched so much of the forest island and to no avail," Minho points out.
"I was confident Phionex would be here, I thought she would go to the island of trees, and I think she would know me to do the same, yet we cannot find any of them," I say glumly.
"So we move to another island," Aramid says perplexed, rolling his eyes and looking around the clearing.
"Which one?" Minho asks.
"Perhaps the rock island?" I suggest.
"I'm kind of skeptical of that one, I didn't really see anyone go that way," Aramid says sounding unsure.
"Exactly why some of them might have gone there," I try to rationalize. Aramid however just twists his mouth in disagreement and shakes his head. I feel a slight annoyance twinge in my mind, making me grit my teeth and clench my fists. I swear he is just doing this to be difficult, to annoy me even. Why though? Why is it necessary?
"Fine Aramid, where do you suggest we go?" I say folding my arms. He looks at me, somewhat smirking and cocking his head a little to the side.
"The tundra island."
"No," I say immediately, shaking my head and raising my hands up.
"Why not?" he asks angrily.
"Why?" I shoot back.
"That place is going to be bitterly cold, ten times more than right here, so why in the world would they head in that direction?" I say in bewilderment.
"I just know they did okay, I just have a strong feeling," he says defensively.
"Well you can dream Aramid, but we aren't going to the tundra island," I say firmly.
"They'll be there!" he cries out in an urgency. I shake my head and look at Minho.
"Your decision Minho, rock island or tundra island?" I say, with the two of us turning to face him. It doesn't take even a second for him to answer.
"Are you kidding me? Fuck going to a freezing ass tundra, rock island it is," he says as if we were crazy. I turn back to Aramid, who stands with his eyes firmly shut, breathing deeply through his nose.
"Majority rules, rock island," I say victoriously. He opens his eyes, looking at me with dark anger. His jaw is shut tightly, and his eyes are narrowed with fury. For a second, I feel like he is about to attack me. However, he shakes his head, turning on his heel and storming off, muttering curses underneath his breath.
"Why was he so content on going to the tundra?" I wonder aloud, as Minho steps beside me.
"Who knows, maybe he knows something that we don't?" Minho guesses, shrugging his shoulders.
"Should we even trust him?" I ask. Minho snorts, once again shrugging his shoulders and glancing at me.
"Well no offence to you, but I try to not trust anyone anyways," he says with a grin, slapping my shoulder before walking off after Aramid. I bite my lip, looking down with a troubled expression. I want to be able to trust Aramid, hell, I want to be able to trust everyone in our alliance. I just cannot help but feel however, that Aramid has been kind of. . . on edge.
I decide to shake it off, noting that there really is no point in an alliance if there is no trust. Yet at the back of my mind, I know I barely trust everyone as well. Just like Minho, I cannot help but feel cautious, skeptical, uneasy about the stability of the alliance. Despite our separation, we were very strong, and very much unified, just as our name suggests. The United. But how can we even call ourselves that when we aren't even with each other, yet alone with us not even trusting the own members of our alliance? Not only that, but who is to say they won't turn while in an arena full of people trying to kill us.
In all honesty, I only really trust two people. Libra, and Phionex, the two people of which that I am not with. I need to cast away these views, this discomfort. I'm sure Aramid is fine, he is just as much of a rebel as all of us. He may have a little anger issue, but I highly doubt that he would even consider killing me. I get the sense that he even wanted to be like me, somewhat. Well at least I used to, I'm not so sure about that notion anymore.
"Atlas hurry the fuck up!" Minho calls from ahead of me. I blink and grip my axe tightly, striding forward to follow the other two. Right now we are on the forest island, and in between this island and the rock island, is the mountain. It's a long trek, but I just know it will be worth it. I will finally be able to see Libra again. I smile at the thought of Libra, no longer clouded by thoughts of her being consumed by rape and violation, but this time, happier memories of her.
That first trip in the elevator, when I had first met her. The way she shyly had complimented my costume, and the way her snowy white cheeks had flushed furiously with a peachy pink. The way her staggering blue, almost purple eyes had sparkled with delight as she talked to me all those times at training, whether it had been about her life back in District 8, or the clothing passion she held dear to her heart, as her true sense of self.
I chuckle to myself stupidly, feeling myself blush a little. Am I embarrassed? Of course not. Nobody else knows these thoughts, only me and myself. Yet I find it in me to desire telling Libra this. I want to tell her how I feel, how she makes me feel. I've never felt like this before, as corny as it sounds. I've always been too focused on fighting, and war, I've never found the time to truly focus on a subject like this.
Until now, in the least likely scenario, I have found someone that I feel completes me, someone that I want to hold dear to my heart, to feel their warmth wrapped up in my arms. Do I dare to go as far as to say that. . . I'm in love? All of me screams yes, my mind especially, as if it had been waiting for this moment ever since I first laid my eyes upon her.
It fills me with a sense of longing, a desire, perhaps even a lust, just to find Libra, to tell her how I feel, to express how much she means to me, to make sure that she leaves this arena safely. It is this thought that reality finally dawns on me. It hits me hard, and it wells up in my chest. I came here thinking I would defy the Capitol, that it was my purpose, my responsibility to do that. But it's not, my hate for the Capitol didn't bring me here, as I found out during interviews. I had no clue anymore as to why I was. Until now.
Fate brought me here. Fate brought me to meet Libra, to protect her, to love her, to ensure her happy life. I had no point to live anymore, my parents and my best friend both having passed. So fate had other means for me. It gave me someone to care about, and it gave me someone to succeed in protecting. My goal, is to save Libra's life.
My passion to find her fuels my body once again, but this time it is stronger. I feel empowered, determined, driven, to find my last purpose for living. It is my mission to find Libra now, and nothing else matters.
I glance down at my axe, shiny gold coating the blade, whilst the hilt is decked in a vibrant purple velvet. The purple, it reminds me of Libra once again, it is Libra's colour. District 8, her hood, her interview outfit, her almost purple eyes, purple represents all of it. Now, it represents this axe as well. I have heard of people naming their weapons, many times over. Even though Libra isn't with me now, she will be in the form of this axe. Libra is a zodiac sign, the sign given to certain people born in that time of the year. I know what I will name this axe now, with my own small way of knowing how Libra is connected.
The name of this axe shall be. . . October's Song.
Day 4: Morning
Laelia Webber, 18, D5:
I wince as the branch slaps at my face, whipping me with a sting. My leg feels like it's on the verge of collapsing, as does my ego. My mind and my emotions feel like they have experienced a super nova, as I sob heavily whilst stumbling through the forest of the mountain.
The place where the branch whipped me now throbs in pain, as that is the tender spot where Fletcher had recently struck me. On the topic of Fletcher, I now frantically and clumsily try to escape him. The events come flooding back all too severely. Danix had been impaled by Fletcher's 'Life Devourer', his body going rather limp as he began to cough up blood. He had been shoved to the ground, flipped around, and his head crushed in and combusted by Fletcher's bare hands.
A scream had been piercing the night sky, as I watched Fletcher kneeling over Danix's headless body, breathing heavily and looking maniacal. He had taken one look at me, before I fumbled for my axe and sprinted off. I was delusional, distraught, and if I hadn't bounded into a dense brush of forest, I would have undoubtedly been fucked. Fletcher would have caught up to me, and impaled Life Devourer through my back as well.
As for now, he struggles to find me. I can hear him lumbering around, searching for me and failing to do so, yet still managing to stay hot on my trail. He roars in anger for losing me, cursing and rambling on about all types of nonsense, but I don't pay attention to what he says. I instead frantically bolt forward, avoiding trees and trying to wipe the tears from my eyes.
They had flowed hard, especially when the death recaps were shown, showing God knows who. I only paid attention to Danix. His face smiled nervously down at me from above, while in reality there is no more mouth to smile, no more eyes to stare, no more face to utilize.
I fear Fletcher is getting too close, I know he is hot on my trail. Some little part of me pictures him to be a wild animal, who can sniff me out from a mile away and desires to tear me apart as soon as he can lay his hands on me. At least one of those are true, unfortunately the latter.
If I don't find a way to disguise myself soon, Fletcher will find me, without a doubt. I stop for a moment, my leg rippling with relief as I desperately scan the area for a place to hide. I need a place that can fit me, and completely conceal me, one that I can see Fletcher coming from. I hear his thundering thuds that are the steps he takes drawing ever so close, which gives me the slightest fraction of time to escape the area.
I dive into a bush, one with a slight gap that is tight but manages to fit me. I regret it in an instant, my eyes widening and watering up, my jaw gritted and aching to scream in agony. The bush I have jumped into, is full of thorns that are as sharp as Theia's daggers, with the current light levels being much too dark to see them.
I bite my tongue and squeeze my eyelids shut, holding in the scream that threatens to pierce the night. It's good that I do this, lucky in fact, as Fletcher strides into the area a moment later. I cover my mouth to not only extinguish any urge for screaming, but to also mask my heavy breathing. I watch Fletcher with frightened eyes, shaking as I look at his large figure.
His eyes are wide and enraged, a snarl protruded on his face, which is completely covered in blood. He breathes heavily, looking around with suspicion at the small clearing we have found. His right hand is red with blood and coated with other forms of matter such as brain and flesh. His left hand drips the crimson liquid excessively, and I can even see from here that a large ragged gash has been sliced across his hand.
I think for a second he may have done this while looking for me, until I remember when he grabbed my axe and squeezed the head hard, causing a gash to become emitted on his hand. I glance at my axe, seeing the shiny red blood painted on the sharp end of the blade. Good.
Fletcher also has a wound on his upper right arm, from where Danix had hit him with the spear. It doesn't appear to be too significant in damage unfortunately, as it doesn't even look like it hit near bone. If only Danix had been more accurate, if only.
If only I wasn't stuck in a thorny bush, with an injured leg, a demanding uproar of devastation threatening to surface, and trapped in here by a psychopath that just killed my ally and is currently looking for me to kill next.
He appears to calm down a bit, breathing deeply as he looks around the clearing with barbaric eyes. His eyes remain this way when he allows a smile to creep onto his face, as he stumbles in circles around the clearing. My eyebrows furrow as I watch him in question, noticing just how much he already may have lost his sanity. That shouldn't be a surprise though, I don't even think he ever did have any form of sanity, he was just good at hiding it.
His hand grabs the hilt of Life Devourer, which is already tucked away in a large sheath on his back. He pulls it out, still spinning around aimlessly as he causes the sharp metallic noise to pierce the air, as he slides the crimson coated blade out into his grip.
"I know you're somewhere here," he says in a disturbingly high tone of voice, as if he was taking the whole thing as one big joke.
"What was your name again? Libra? No, no that was. . . the Eight girl right? The pretty one that everyone wants to fuck? Yeah that's right, and you, you were Laelia," he utters with mild amusement.
"Yeah, Laelia, that one with the insanely strong hair. You know what? I'll cut you a deal. Come out, and I'll make sure to scalp you after I've killed you," he says as if it was a reasonable offer. He steps really close to my bush, causing me to squint my eyes to prevent the tears from escaping.
No, please step away, please.
"Or even better, you come out now, and I'll make it quick," he says softly, literally standing right outside of the bush. He waits for a reply, a reply he isn't going to get. When I don't respond, he turns to face the bush. I feel my heart trying to escape my chest, and my body becomes slippery with a new layer of sweat. I pray he cannot hear my heart beat, in fact, I am almost confident that he can.
"If you make me seek you out myself, it's going to be a long process of killing you," he growls deeply. Why does he expect me to conform to these demands? To willingly give myself up just so I can die quicker? I have to live on, I have to beat him, for Danix. Fletcher starts to become more distressed and enraged, now striding away from the bush and swinging his sword at random stationary objects.
"Laelia you little slut, I've got a whore from District 10 to be hunting, I don't have time for your bullshit," he bellows loudly to the sky above. Normally, with any other person, I would be extremely angry with being referred to as a 'little slut', but this isn't a normal circumstance. Instead, I watch in fear as Fletcher wanders around the clearing impatiently, muttering things underneath his breath. There is nothing I can do! I physically cannot move without the bush rustling and giving away my position!
"I'm getting restless Laelia, I want to add to my collection you know," he speaks out to the general area, hoping I'll pick up on it. Collection of what? Kills? Apparently not, because directly after saying this, he pulls out his 'collection'.
I grimace in repulsion at what his collection is. It's not sadistic and disgusting as if it was ears or hands, but the story behind each one is repulsive in itself. He holds out three hoods, one for each person he has killed. There is one that is charred slightly and discoloured with ash, now being a murky yellow that once belonged to Ancora. I'm surprised it still exists in all honesty, that it hadn't withered away in the explosion. He must have retrieved it during the chaos at the start.
The second hood is pretty much clean of blood, which I hope is due to a quick and clean death for the owner of the pink hood, Naomi. The only blood that is actually on it, comes from the plentiful amount of blood on the icy blue coloured hood, the one that once belonged to Danix. I am tempted to vomit when my eyes rest upon the light blue hood, the memory of Danix's gruesome death flooding back to me in almost no time at all.
Blood, bone, brains, splattered everywhere by Fletcher's crushing hands. I furiously shake my head, trying to thrust the memory from my mind, until I remember just what position I am currently in. I stop, with wide eyes and a mortified expression. Did I just make noise? Please don't tell me I made noise. My vision graces Fletcher once again, who stuffs the hoods back into his pockets. He doesn't seem to have heard anything, or noticed anything for that matter, as he continues to appear more frustrated.
He stops moving, standing still and staring somewhere around the area of the bush. Did I speak to soon?
"I'm just going to have to start hacking at things Laelia, and it isn't going to be fun when I find you," he snarls. I silently gasp when he begins to trudge over to my bush, with Life Devourer being dragged along the ground behind him. This is it, this is how I am going to die, he is going to find me, and slice his sword through my abdomen, and make the rest of my death slow and painful, just as he described.
There is no denying that Fletcher is coming towards me, his eyes stare at the bush as if they were transfixed, it almost feels like his glare is aimed directly at me, as if he knows, as if he had known the whole time. He ends up being a couple of feet away, before he stops standing tall over the bush. I have no time to react, no time to cry out, all I can do is watch the blade become lifted in the air. High above his head, I see the white glint of the shining moon hit the metal, causing me to shut my eyes, and prepare for Life Devourer to take my soul.
I hear the grunt of Fletcher, as he presumably swings his sword with strong momentum. I can even hear the swish of the blade tearing through the morning air as it sails towards the bush. What I expect to hear next is the rupture of leaves, and the thud of the sword burying itself into my chest, what I expect to feel is unbearable pain that would be coursing throughout all my veins, yet none of this is what I experience. It never comes, which leads me to slightly open my eyes.
Fletcher looks alert, with wide and savage eyes that have snapped to look in a direction to his right, which would be leading downwards to the base of the mountain. The sword rests in the air, mere inches away from the bush, meaning my death was only a few inches away.
My body still remains tense as he slowly raises his sword to the other side of his body, as he turns to face the direction he had just been staring. It's almost too good to be true, it's as if my prayers were answered, since Fletcher begins to trudge towards that direction instead. Why? I don't care, as long as he is leaving me.
He eventually leaves my field of view, making me slightly uneasy since I cannot keep tabs on where his current location is, but I can still hear, and I hear his heavy footsteps sound further and further away, until I cannot hear them any longer.
The realization does not quite hit me, that he has disappeared, fled, left me to be. I don't even understand why. All of me wants to believe, yet I just cannot believe it. I'm far too shaken up, too traumatized from what I have just experienced. I want so much to leave this place, to escape all of what has just happened. But I am too fearful, full of such fright that I have never experienced before. I thought I was hardened, I thought I saw the worst of humanity in District 5, considered the lowest of the low by every other place in Panem, in terms of violence and disregard for human life.
However, this. . . nothing I've seen in Five compares to this. . . Therefore, I have never been so mentally unprepared for something like this. I have never lost a friend in such a gruesome manner, I have never had one snatched from life like that, so suddenly and so cruelly, and nor have I ever had someone so psychotic, so inhumane, so. . . evil. . . literally seek me out to end my life.
All of this horror comes crashing down upon me in a matter of seconds, after the fact that Fletcher has gone fully hits me. I let it all out, my sorrow, my agony, my pain, my rage, but most importantly, I let out myself. I lose myself in a whirling wind of tears and woes, I cry and sob to myself for all that I have endured in the span of four days. I cry for my wounds, I cry for the innocent ones that have died, and I especially cry for Danix.
I literally feel all sense of innocence, all my humor, my rocky but still existent friendliness, drain from my body, leaving me as an empty shell of a damaged and destroyed young girl. I am no longer myself, all that is good has been torn from me, my whole life has come crumbling down, all that made me worth, leaving me with the shambles of human emotion, the unwanted, the disregarded.
Why did I have to be subjected to these games? These games, that the Capitol are watching, and enjoying. . . and celebrating. Suddenly, through the endless sorrow and depression that plagues my body, a red hot burning spire pierces through. It's like a beam, that lights up darkness and dullness, not with hope and opportunity however, no not at all, but with a harsh and invigorating rage. I am soon filled with it, as if I have cried all I can, and now I only have room for this rage that eats me up. I am one to get angry really easy, but this, this is something entirely new.
It almost feels like it makes my body convulse, it fills me up, it drives me, with a burning passion. I feel my pupils dilate, as this boiling anger reaches my head, surging through my veins and energizing my emerald green eyes.
That's when I open my eyes.
Day 4: Afternoon
Whent Lush, 15, D12:
I'm cold. For a number of reasons in all honesty, but all the same, I'm cold. I sit down on a log that Ladonna managed to haul over to our little campsite, wooden and splintery as can be, yet the closest thing to comfort we can find. A small but pathetic fire flickers directly in front of me, illuminating my face with orange rather than white from the pale snow that litters the area.
My obsidian sword lays rested across my lap, awaiting to be used to shed more blood than this arena has already seen, against its glistening jagged body. I hope it doesn't come to that, I don't want to have to shed more blood. I've already seen enough of that to last me a lifetime.
I look up slightly, seeing a view of my two allies, though they are barely allies at the moment. For starters, Ladonna sits on a pile of leaves that she has accumulated from the surrounding trees. That was two days ago. She has been sitting on that pile of leaves ever since, rocking back and forth with an expression of complete and utter despair implanted on her face.
Ladonna hasn't recovered at all since Naomi's death, to be honest, none of us have. But Ladonna, it's hit her harder than any of us other two. I cannot understand how she still has not gotten over it, like at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very upset with Naomi's death. I try not to think about it much, otherwise I begin to become too upset. I'm not going to lie, I had a little crush on Naomi. 'Little' may have been an understatement. I had a mad crush on Naomi. I thought she was simply beautiful. Funny, friendly, perfect. I used to get a fluttery feeling in my chest every time I made her laugh, every time I made her smile. I used to make up things just to impress her, childish things any boy would do to impress a girl.
Every time I saw those ruby red lips smile, I felt myself feel important. How unimportant that feels now. Now she is dead, and I'm still here with nothing left from our encounters except memories. Would I like to know if she felt the same way about me? In the Capitol I would have jumped at the opportunity, but now, I don't see it holding any sort of value, in other words, I couldn't care less. It just doesn't matter.
Not only do I find it strange that Ladonna is still appearing to mourn over Naomi after it happening four days ago now, but I find it strange that I am doing a better job than her, when I have not only lost one friend, but two. It kind of makes me angry, why does she deserve to be this upset, and to mourn over her this much, when I should be getting to do the same thing? I don't know, maybe it's just my inner immaturity coming out, getting angry at things I shouldn't, and stressing out over everything that's happened.
I want to run, I want to run so much, just like I did on the day of the reaping. I want to escape, and this time actually succeed in doing so. Pointless ambitions, that's what these types of thoughts are. There is no escape. Not from this arena, whether you win or you die, it'll stick around to haunt you for the rest of your life, a life that 23 others had to die for.
I feel my eyes burn, not from staring at the fire for too long, but due to the stinging tears that flood them. I'm so weak, I don't deserve to still be alive. Why am I still here, while others have perished? I shield my face from view with my hand, hoping there is no way of seeing me. I don't want to be crying in front of Panem, nor do I want to cry in front of my alliance. I should be trying to stay strong, and take on the role of leader. Neither of the two that remain with me are suitable for the role of leader, as Ladonna can barely function without bursting into tears, and Cassie is just. . . I don't even know.
The other night, I found Cassie in a clearing a minute or so away from our temporary base. She had wandered off, and god knows what could have happened to her if I hadn't found her. The thing is, ever since she has been walking off in the same daze she has been in for days now.
I wipe my eyes and sniff quietly to try not cause people to conclude that I am crying, before I look up to look at Cassie. At this point, we have had to tie her up to a tree, otherwise she just leaves. It's not exactly the nicest thing to do, but our options are limited. It's either tie her up to the tree so we know where she is, or let her wander off and lose her, or even worse, allow her to get killed.
She stares at me with glassy and unfocused eyes, her face completely monotone and rested. Is that a small smirk I see on her face?
"You're crying Whent Lush." I frown at her words, her dull and lifeless words that could put the liveliest person into an upset mood.
"No, no I'm not," I reply, trying to subtly wipe my nose. There is no fooling her, she had been watching me the whole time.
"Yes, you are. Have you finally accepted that we are all going to die?" Cassie says, voice plain and smooth like whenever she speaks. I look at her astounded, eyes widened in sadness. How could she say that?
"No, because we aren't!" I reply back in slight annoyance.
"You know that's not true Whent Lush. Only one person comes out alive of this arena, the odds of you making it out are far less than most others," she says with boredom. I bite my lip, letting what she said slip past my thoughts. However true that may be, I can't afford to think like that.
"Are you going to be the one that makes it out alive then?" I ask. She stares blankly at me, looking as if I hadn't asked her anything. Why doesn't she answer? I just don't understand. Cassie has become on and off, sometimes she doesn't respond at all, other times she says really creepy and estranged comments. I shake my head sadly when I know it's definite that she won't respond.
"What happened to you Cassie? You used to be so fun, you used to be social, like one of us, why has this happened? What happened to you to make this overcome your old self?" I cry out. She stares at me for a moment, causing me to think I won't get a response. It's the first time I have actually asked her just what the hell is going on with her, what is happening in her brain, so I don't expect to get an answer. Yet somehow, I do, a one word answer.
"Truth." The word is so sudden and dark, it sends a chill down my spine to accompany my freezing and shivering body.
"Truth? Truth? What is that supposed to mean? The truth of what?" I say daringly, hoping to get more out of her.
"Everything," she says softly. I'm taken aback, mostly from the lack of volume of the word. It's like she is afraid of saying the word, or the true meaning behind it.
A large gust of chilling wind causes goosebumps to rise on my skin. The cold is getting worse, as its becoming later in the day. The sun is beginning to go down, meaning the arena is becoming cooler. We are struggling, so, so badly. Cassie gets preference over the sleeping bag, I'm making sure of that.
"Come over here Ladonna, we need to get Cassie in the sleeping bag," I instruct, grabbing the sleeping bag and looking over at Ladonna. Ladonna stops rocking back and forth, a few sniffles are able to be heard from her concealed nose. Her blue and watery eyes flit over to me, glistening in the late afternoon light.
"Come on," I urge her on lightly, carefully you could say. Despite my anger at her prior, she is still my ally, and she is still my friend. It is a dire time, so I shouldn't be taking my anger out on her. She pushes herself up, revealing her red face and nose dripping with mucus. Not the most appealing sight, but after what I have just seen four days ago, mucus is a relieving sight.
We both step up to Cassie, with Ladonna grabbing ahold of her shoulders, while I untie the rope. This is what we have done every night, it's starting to become a repeated cycle. The rope falls around her ankles, landing on her sturdy boots. I hate having to tie Cassie up, I hate that we need to. It's not like we tie her completely against the tree, we tie it around her waist, and then around the tree as well, this gives her the ability to move around the area if she wants, which she often doesn't do.
Ladonna lifts her up as I place the sleeping bag down, causing her to place Cassie in the sleeping bag. We then lift the sleeping bag up until her body is enveloped by the warm cushiony material. We don't tie her up when she is in the sleeping bag though, we don't need to do this as it is much easier to monitor her trying to get out, which she hasn't done yet.
"Why do you continuously try to help me Whent Lush? You know it is completely pointless since we are all going to die?" Cassie asks. This is the third time she has asked me these questions as I have helped her out with the sleeping bag. I have never given her an answer other than because she is my ally, but she still never believes me.
"Because you are my ally, and my friend," I respond.
"Don't lie."
"I am telling you the truth."
"You know that's not true."
"It is Cassie, why wouldn't it be?"
"Because there is another reason."
"No th-"
"There is another reason." She repeats this rather forcefully, catching me by surprise. I finish with the sleeping bag and look at her. This time she stares at me intently, not with glassy and glazed over eyes, but with a knowing and amused stare. I sigh, looking down at the floor.
"Fine. Naomi died for you, her last wish was for you to survive, so I am making sure of that," I say firmly.
"That's not all," she says, staring at me. My stomach drops, a frown protruding on my face.
"Huh?" I ask dumbly, struck confused.
"You're doing it to fill the empty void in your chest, you're doing it to distract yourself from the deaths of Naomi Ennedes and Dana Woodman, you're doing it so you feel like their deaths were not in vain, and that they had meaning." I freeze, my body becoming colder than it currently is and my skin turning pure white. I feel a stabbing pain in my chest, a metaphorical one that hurts so much more than the real thing. My mouth is agape, closing like a fish out of water. I stutter, trying to get something out, trying to dismiss this allegation.
"W-why do you s-say that?" I splutter.
"You speak in your sleep Whent Lush, you've basically professed all of your thoughts and inner demons to me through that," she says eyeing me directly. I feel sick, a bubbling pit of guilt and remorse building up in my gut.
"N-no I wouldn't have, Dana. . . H-hated me," I say stumbling over my words.
"You tried to help Dana Woodman during the beginning, she refused, you saw her cry, you know she didn't want to kill you, and it kills you even more that this fact is true, since it hurts you so much more knowing that she wanted to join the alliance. You knew it killed her to have to turn you away, and the fact that you didn't convince her to join the alliance, resulting in her death, eats up your insides like a parasite." The words hit me like bullets, each one feeling like a paralyzing impact. I stumble back, trying to get away from Cassie, causing me to trip backwards over the log I had been sitting on.
I land without pain, with the shock still numbing any feeling in me. I glance beside me, my eyes landing on my obsidian sword, which I had rested against my log when I got up. I fumble for the hilt of the sword, grabbing the cool steel and frantically jumping to my feet. I am up, gripping my sword tightly when I look at Cassie. She stares intently at me, like a ventriloquist dummy. She scares me, frightens me, I can't be around her. There is only one thing to do.
I look at Ladonna with fearful eyes, before uttering a couple of words.
"Keep an eye on her." Ladonna opens her mouth to speak, before I turn around on the spot, and run. I run, just like I did at the Reaping, just like I had desired to not long ago.
"Whent, where are you going?!" Ladonna calls out in surprise. I don't reply, I just run. I run into the forest, tears escaping my eyes as I rush past the tall thing trees. Thoughts of Dana and Naomi plague my mind, as well as what Cassie said. She said it as it is, my sorrow, my guilt, all of it. Why did they have to die? It was my fault. I should have forced Dana to come with us, I should have pushed Cassie forward to Fletcher.
I grit my teeth as the steaming hot tears warm my frozen cheeks. Anger surges through my veins, at what should have been, what I could have done, what I should have done. I slash at the trees around me with the sword, cutting into wood and scraping bark off.
I stop in front of a tree, a tall grey slim one. I swing my sword into it hearing the thunk of the blade sinking into the wood. I pull it back only to do the same. I do it over and over, slashing the blade into the tree, swinging until I cannot anymore. I sob as my arm falls to my side, sword dangling by in the air. My body aches with effort, causing me to collapse to my knees, heaving tears with vivid sorrow.
I stab the sword into the ground, feeling all my care leave my body in an instant. What am I to do? How can I possibly replace Naomi as a leader?
How can I get through this?
Day 4: Evening
Rexx Kerdom, 16, D8:
"We need to decide on what we are doing." I mutter this with a shaking body, goosebumps littering my skin. A cold breeze has sprung upon us, hitting me with its icy touch as I shake with my arms wrapped around my body. It has become evening, with the sun going doing and making our area much colder than it already is.
It's been four days in this arena, four days spent in the Hunger Games, and four days spent in this frozen tundra. The only reason we are still here, is because I know that Libra and Hera will be safe here. Nobody is going to come here, therefore nobody will be around to harm them. The only problem besides the cold however, is the fact that we have been separated from the rest of our alliance. Judging by the size of this arena and the whole fact that we were split up from the start, I'm going to have to predict that it is highly unlikely that we will be seeing any of the others soon.
I glance over at Hera and Libra, both sitting on a fallen log that I had dragged over here. Compared to me, both Libra and Hera are exceptionally warm, especially Libra. We only had one sleeping bag that I had taken with me, which I gave to Libra. She was to have the sleeping bag no matter what. Tiffany, Hera's Escort, had also sent her a sleeping bag, which she snuggles into now as she stares deep into the crackling flames that illuminate our dark area.
Fury, both Libra and I's Escort, sent me a sleeping bag as well. As tempted as I was, I still refused to take it for myself. I forced Libra to take it as well as the one I already had, despite her protests, I made her put on the second layer of the sleeping bags. Now she could be warm as possible, and could not at all develop hypothermia or frostbite.
I've made it my pact, my mission, to get Libra as far through this game as possible. She has gotten too caught up in this, all for relatively nothing. All because of what other Districts have done. Now due to our alliances separation, it has become very evident that Libra is saddened. Over the past four days, she has sat staring into the fire, deep in her own thoughts. On the nights I could no longer stay up out of fatigue, and I could not watch over us, Libra had volunteered to take up the responsibility. During those times, I had woken up to find her crying softly, trying to stifle her sobs to keep from waking us up.
I haven't yet told her that I know this, and I likely won't, as I don't believe she even wants us to know. Instead, I have tried to comfort her, make sure she is okay. It's worn me beyond belief, taking care of us all, staying up to keep watch over the small alliance that we have. My eyes have deep purple bags beneath them, every time I have looked at the motionless and reflective lake nearby, I have seen my blood shot and sleepy blue eyes.
I can't do this for much longer, especially with my body shivering with the chilling bite of the air. My teeth chatter as I close my eyes, waiting for a response from one of the girls.
"What do you propose?" Hera asks. I bite my lip to stop my teeth from chattering, once again looking back up at her.
"I know you want to find Aramid, and I know you want to find Atlas," I say glancing at Libra, "but I think it's best if we wait here for a couple more days."
"No, Rexx, we can't," Hera proclaims weakly, looking at me with shiny blue eyes.
"We can fi-"
"It's not about Aramid," Hera interrupts. My eyebrows raise slightly in question.
"It isn't?" I ask.
"No Rexx, it's about you. I mean, look at you! You're putting yourself through this torturous weather, just to keep us safe," she says sounding concerned.
"It's working isn't it?" I say with a sigh, sounding rather bemused. Libra examines me with sympathetic eyes, bright indigo with hints of purple that sprouts through her iris. Her full and soft looking lips frown with concern, actually looking slightly blue with the cold. My eyes widen, and stand up stiffly from the cold.
"Libra, your face, is it cold?" I ask sounding distressed. She seems surprised by the question, as her mouth opens slightly as she blinks blankly.
"Uh, a little, it's okay though," she says softly. I take a couple of steps towards her, kneeling down in front of her so my face is level with her own. I reach my hand around the back of her neck, taking a hold of her hood. I lift it over her wavy coal black hair, so it can shield the breeze from her face. Her skin is pale as per usual, but there is much less colour in her normally pink and rosy cheeks.
She looks down at the snowy floor, before looking up at me sadly, captivating eyes staring directly at my own.
"Rexx, please," she says pleadingly, placing her warm hands on my freezing cheeks. She turns my head upwards, so that I am facing her more front on now.
"I appreciate what you are doing for me, but you need to take care of yourself as well," she begs. My body shakes with the cold, as I stare down at the floor feeling rather guilty.
"I-I need to make sure that, y-your oka-"
"Shhhh sh sh," she shushes me, cutting my words off and leaving them hanging in the air.
"Rexx, your freezing, your worn, you're not allowing yourself to rest," she says, lifting my head back up to face her.
"Just at least have one of the sleeping bags," she instructs.
"I can't do that," I mutter softly. She takes her hands off of my face, causing me to feel the cold on my cheeks once again. She shakes her head, unzipping the side of the outside sleeping bag. I stare at it, looking at the soft fabric that I wish can just envelop me, and so it does. Libra wraps it around my kneeling figure, and my eyes widen in ecstasy. Warmth, heat, oh how much I have missed it. I want so badly to give it back to her, to deny it, but I physically cannot. My weak state allows my heavy eyes to flutter open and closed, my body snuggles into the heat radiating sleeping bag.
It smells like Libra, sweet and flowery. I feel my fatigued body begin to weaken even more, so tempted to collapse to the ground, and ward off the tiredness with slumber.
"I. . . Must stay. . . Awake," I breathe, looking wearily up at the two girls. Hera purses her lips with angst, closing her eyes in disbelief. I squeeze my eyes shut to try and stimulate movement in them, to try and squish the fatigue in them.
"Here Rexx, come," Libra coos softly, gripping my shoulders and pulling me towards her. I barely need to be pulled, with the tiniest bit of force, Libra manages to cause me to fall forward. She catches me in her arms, embracing me against her for somewhere I can rest.
Despite my brain being half conscious, the rest of me feels paralyzed. I am in a state of half-asleep and half-awake. My eyes are solidly shut, while Libra strokes my hair in a way that I cannot resist sleeping to.
My reality becomes fuzzy, blurred, obscured. I can somewhat hear the conversation that Libra and Hera have together, catching audible phrases that blend in with my sleeping mind. I can still somehow logically understand what is being said, and have a brief idea as to what is happening in the conscious world.
"He has done so much to protect us, it has been effecting him so drastically," Libra's voice echoes.
"It is best that he gets some rest, he hasn't slept properly for days," Hera says now. There is a pause, in which nothing can be heard except for Libra's deep breathing and steady heartbeat.
"You know, he really does seem to care about you Libra, it's like he is putting his life on the line to protect you," Hera continues.
"I know, he is one of the best guys I have ever met, I don't know what I would do without him." That's when I finally fade off to the world of slumber. The combined warmth of the sleeping bag and Libra, accompanied with her soothing head scratching and rhythmic breathing, I drift off to full sleep without problem. It's a heavy snooze, with me being dead to the world around me. It's a sleep I enjoy, a sleep I crave, but most importantly, a sleep that I needed.
I don't know how long I sleep for, but it has to be a few hours at least. Once my eyes begin to flicker open, it occurs to me that I just slept. That I just allowed myself to fall asleep. I jolt fully awake, turning my head around so I can see. To my relief, I am still in Libra's arms, her hands no longer running through my hair.
I look up to see Libra's smiling face, looking down upon me, before I realize something rather awkward. The surface my face is resting on is rather comfortable, and soft. That is because the side of my face is resting on Libra's breast. My eyes widen and I lift my head up, blushing heavily.
"I am so sorry Libra," I say with heavy embarrassment. Hera bursts out giggling, while Libra also blushes slightly.
"It's fine Rexx, it's nothing to be sorry about," she says with a shy chuckle. I scratch the back of my head, sighing with nerves.
"Uh, how long did I sleep for?" I ask to try and change the topic.
"About four hours, you should try to sleep for longer," Hera says, wiping her eyes from her recent fit of laughter.
"I think I'm okay," I protest. Hera's face drops in exasperation.
"Don't lie, you still need to sleep," she says, folding her arms.
"Look, I'm fine okay, I've slept a bit, I'm good to keep watch now," I say firmly. Hera and Libra glance at each other unsurely.
"Just promise us you'll try and sleep some more Rexx, it's best that you get as much rest as possible, you won't be able to keep going if you keep this up," Hera says softly. I slouch my shoulders weakly, knowing that I can't get out of it. They are right. If I'm to protect them well enough, I have to be fully rested to ensure I am at the top of my game. Not only that, but keeping them happy at this rate is just as important as keeping them alive, and if they want me to get some rest, then I really should get some rest. I know I am exhausted, even though I just had a small nap on Libra then, I still cannot deny I am somewhat tired still.
"Okay, I'll get some more sleep," I say softly. Hera nods, while Libra lights up at this comment. Seeing her so happy at something I said, causes something to flutter in my chest, making it tingle with excitement. However, before I can address it, a noise bursts from the sky, or more accurately speaking, music bursts into play.
I look up, seeing the bright image of the Capitol Seal. As far as I can recall, no deaths occurred today, so that means no one's face will be appearing in the sky tonight.
"Did you hear a cannon while I was asleep?" I ask, glancing at Libra and Hera. Both shake their heads, meaning today has most definitely been deathless. Sure enough, no one's face appears in the sky tonight, and we are treated to the image of the Capitol Seal for as long as the anthem plays. I can't deduce if that is good or not, sure it means that none of our alliance has died, but it still means that people like Fletcher and Theia are lurking the arena, hunting for tributes to kill.
"Well I suppose that means that there are still twenty of us left," Hera sighs.
"Hey, at least eight of that number are a part of the United Pack," I say, trying to cheer her up.
"I wish we were still with the rest of them," Libra says, sounding incredulously sad. I twist my mouth sympathetically for Libra, as I watch her stare down sadly at the floor. My heart twinges with pity when I see trickles of tears spill from her eyes, and fall onto the cold fluffy snow.
She misses Atlas. It's been effecting her really badly, even though I've been doing everything in my power to distract her from the subject. I sit myself beside her putting my arm around her shoulder as she covers her eyes and cries.
"Libra, it'll be fine, we will find him, or he will find us," I whisper to her. I hear small sniffles from behind her hands, as she listens to me speak.
"Atlas is strong, he will not stop till he gets to you, I just know it," I say in reassurance. She raises her head, dropping her hands into her lap as she looks at me, indigo eyes swimming with tears.
"You really think so?" she asks softly.
"Positive," I say firmly. She sighs and looks up into the sky, which holds a shining moon that reflects in her tears, making her eyes shine.
"It's just, after everything I've seen, I can't be too sure anymore. After seeing what happened to Ancora, to Dana, it's stuck in my head, burned into my eyes," she mutters timidly. I try to think of something to say, but nothing comes to mind, leaving my mouth open foolishly.
"I just can't bear the thought of anything like that happening to him," she finishes, voice shaking with sorrow. I don't say anything, I don't even look at her. I just pull her in as if I am shielding her, just like she did to me. She buries her face into the crevasse between my shoulder and sternum.
I pat her back, as I rock back and forth, trying to soothe her just like she had done for me. My eyes glance to Hera, who looks at me with gratitude. I give her a half smile, with eye brows raised in sympathy. She knows that the sympathy is for Libra, and she nods in response.
I sigh and rest my chin on the top of Libra's head. What did we do to deserve this? Why were we forced to participate in this horrific game? I will never know the answer to that, as long as I live. For now, I will live in this moment. This moment of peace, that I comfort Libra, and accompany Hera.
However, as I look at Hera, her eyes go wide. My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I examine her face.
"What's wrong?" I ask. Hera's eyes become fearful, as they look behind me.
"Did you hear that?" she asks with a hushed voice.
"Hear what?" I ask.
That is when I hear it. A twig snapping, the crunch of snow, there is something in the forest behind me, shrouded in darkness. I turn my head to look behind me. The start of the forest is several, feet away, and in the entrance to the forest, I spot a dark figure move.
A person.
A human.
A tribute.
Author's Note:
Guys. . . I'm really sorry, it's been close to a month. I have had so much on, this being a legitimate reason. School has been absolutely HECTIC, I've barely had any free time, it's been such a pain in the ass. I also went away for a weekend, I wasn't available for a whole week, it was just so crazy. They do say your final years of school are the craziest, I guess it's true.
Not only that, but in all honesty this chapter wasn't too enjoyable to write. Don't get me wrong, I love every chapter I write, and I enjoy every moment of it, but last chapter was just so full of action, it was weird going back to the quietness of a cool down chapter. So yes I know, not much happened, since there was death last chapter. We will get around to more action soon enough though, do not worry.
Anyways, enough of the negative things, what did you guys think? We finally got to see where the last three of the United were, we also got to see what happened to Laelia after last chapter. She survived! It was very close though, I could have very easily killed her off. Nobody is safe remember. Cassia is just, batshit crazy at this point, Whent having to take on leadership is going to be interesting to see, and who or what was that at the end of Rexx's POV. . . But gee, Rexx has been trying so hard to protect the two girls, do you guys reckon Rexx is underrated?
I am definitely making it my goal to name as many weapons as I can. October's Song, the reasoning for that name will come into play eventually, you already know half of the meaning which I explained, but we will have to wait and see...
Let me know if you want me to name a specific weapon. I'll list the notable ones at this point, I'll have to elaborate on what weapons others have later.
-Whent's Obsidian Sword
-Rexx's Obsidian Sword
-Theia's Jewel Encrusted Dagger
-Liesel's Katana
-Laelia's Axe
-Minho's Sword
-Phionex's Axe
-Haim's Gold Lined Spear?. . . if it even still exists looooolllll
Can't think of much else to say, so I'll leave it here for now. Name of the next chapter is of course on my profile, and hopefully I can get the next chapter out soon! Happy Easter!
-Ares
Remaining Districts:
District 1
District 2
District 3
District 4
District 5
District 6
District 7
District 8
District 9
District 10
District 11
District 12
Remaining Tributes:
Haim Peridot - District 1?
Theia Cartelle - District 1
Nero Koeing - District 2
Ladonna Gully - District 2
Dayta Owens - District 3
Liesel Varner - District 3
Rhode Nerida - District 4
Minho Lyun - District 5
Laelia Webber - District 5
Aramid Vicuna - District 6
Hera Loughbrook - District 6
Atlas Verdini - District 7
Phionex Blast - District 7
Rexx Kerdom - District 8
Libra Spindle - District 8
Fletcher Wilds - District 9
Vince Rojarze - District 10
Cassia Summers - District 10
Quinn Holland - District 11
Whent Lush - District 12
Alliances:
United Pack 1: Rexx D8, Libra D8, Hera D6
United Pack 2: Vince D10, Phionex D7, Liesel D3
United Pack 3: Minho D5, Aramid D6, Atlas D7
Terrific Trio: Ladonna D2, Cassia D10, Whent D12
Loners:
Theia D1
Nero D2
Dayta D3
Rhode D4
Fletcher D9
Quinn D11
?:
Haim D1?
Killers:
Fletcher Wilds- 3
Theia Cartelle- 1(2?)