Date posted: July 22, 2009

Suggested music: "In My Life" by the Beatles

"Of all these friends and lovers,

There is no one compares with you,

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new.

"Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before.

I know I'll often stop and think about them,

In my life, I love you more."

—The Beatles

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Lullaby

Lily and James stayed in bed together for hours. They couldn't bring themselves to get up and step away from each other. They would have stayed there all day but Sirius banged on the door.

"Okay, time's up, Evans! You've had your time—I'm coming in!"

James groaned. "No!"

Lily threw her head back on the pillow. "Give us a minute!"

"Yeah, yeah, get your clothes back on…" they heard Sirius grumble.

Lily and James looked at each, then started laughing.

"I'm gonna kill him," muttered James.

Lily grinned. "Oh, give him a break. Not all of us feel like we just woke up two days ago."

James sighed and reached for his boxers. "Right. I keep forgetting how long it's been."

Lily rummaged through the sheets for her clothes. "I'm coming in!" called Sirius.

"Wait!" cried Lily and James. They jumped off the bed, giggling and trying to pull their shirts back over their heads. James dashed around the room, looking for his pants.

Lily picked them up off the floor and tossed them. "Catch."

James caught them and quickly stepped into them. "All right, Padfoot."

The door burst open and Sirius strolled inside, smirking. He looked from James to Lily. Through his obnoxious smirk, Lily caught his eye and a wide, true smile broke across his face. Sirius looked as though he was about to say something but then he grabbed James and slapped his arms around him. James grinned at Lily over his shoulder but Lily was breathless with tears once again. She rushed toward them and they enveloped her in their hug. Lily buried her face, half laughing, half sobbing, into one of their shoulders.

When they broke apart, Lily caught Sirius casually wipe his eye before he dropped a hand on her head. "You're such a sap, Ev."

They walked down the winding staircase into the common room. Well, Lily skipped, pulling James along by the hand, who was closer to tripping down the stairs because of the fact that Sirius had jumped onto his back. The common room was empty so they crawled through the portrait hole and wandered along the corridors. Having been confined in the cocoon of James's four-poster for so long, all Lily wanted to do was go outside and see the sky, feel the breeze. Her joy was too big for these walls.

The sun was beaming down on the grounds. Students were soaring around the Quidditch pitch, sunbathing in the grass, and strolling around the lake.

They recognized the group lounging under the beech tree by the lake. Half of Lily wanted to sprint over to them screaming, "JAMES IS BACK!" while the other half wanted to slow their pace and keep him all to herself.

Remus was the first to notice the three of them as they approached. Lily could see his face slowly change. Then he raised both his hands to his head. "I don't believe it."

"Prongs!" Without another hesitation, Remus dashed toward them and James laughed. They grabbed each other in a firm hug. "You're back, mate!"

Lily giggled and looked over their shoulders. Peter, Tara, Summer, and Di were trailing behind Remus. Tara screamed and threw herself at them, quickly followed by the rest. Their collective weight knocked James to the ground.

"Hey!" Lily laughed. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't send him back to St. Mungo's!"

She watched with Sirius as they all attempted, breathlessly, to scramble to their feet. He was smiling; she was smiling. They couldn't stop. Lily felt as though the muscles in her face had finally awakened and her happiness was spilling out in a rush, through her mouth and eyes.

They wandered back to the beech tree and James drifted back to Lily's side. He sat at the foot of the tree, leaning his back against the trunk, and answered everyone's questions, which kept coming, as Lily rested her head on his chest and relished the sound of James's voice, his laughter. She could feel it vibrating in his chest and hear the beating of his heart—the sound that had marked so many significant moments in their lives: the first time they had danced together, the time she had accidentally slept with him, the first time he had held her in his arms and finally, the moment she knew he had survived the Killing Curse.

On James's other side, Sirius lay on his back with his feet propped up on the trunk, completely restored to his usual, careless, haughty self. Remus sat cross-legged on the grass next to Summer and Peter, who was gazing adoringly at James. Tara and Di perched on the bank, their feet dangling over the water. There was a feeling of completeness among them and their laughter was, once again, easy to come to their lips.

Quite suddenly James looked at Lily. "You ready?"

Lily attempted to frown but could only manage a confused sort of smile. "For what?"

James rolled his eyes in the direction of the water. "You promised."

Then she understood. "Right now?"

"Well, Evans, it's our last chance, isn't it? School's ending."

Lily smiled and James took her hand. "All right. I'm ready, Potter."

They both stood up.

"Where are you going?" asked Remus.

Lily and James didn't answer. They just dashed to the edge of the water, kicking off their shoes, and, still grasping hands, jumped into the lake. Lily tightened her grip on James's hand as she cold water bubbled around her body. She kicked her feet and popped through the surface, gasping with laughter. The first thing she saw was the wide grin on James's face.

They turned, treading water, back to the shore. Sirius roared with laughter, while everyone else looked mildly confused. The next moment, he was standing up and tearing off his shirt. He ran to the edge and cannonballed into the water, sending huge waves crashing over James and Lily's heads. He swam toward them, flipping his hair out of his face, and dove for James, capturing him in a headlock. Lily laughed and threw her fist into the water, splashing him in the face.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her as he dunked James. "Watch it, Evans, you're next!"

Then he lunged for her. Lily screamed as he grabbed her around the waist and threw her over his shoulder, then slammed her back down into the water. Lily flung her arms around and fought to find her footing. She rubbed the water out of his eyes and saw James tipping his head back, his wild hair skimming the surface, laughing.

There was nothing more beautiful.

He waded closer to her, and leaned into her neck. "Let's get him."

Lily grinned. They both looked at Sirius and dove at him. All three of them went crashing down in a breathless, flailing, laughing heap.

* * *

Lily went back to her dormitory that night after much persuasion from her friends. She found that it was still impossible to sleep in her own bed—not because of the nightmares, but because every cell in her body was humming. She could not stop moving, much less remain in the same position long enough to fall asleep. While James's absence had slowed her down, making each day seem long and tediously exhausting, his return invigorated her. Her heart beat faster, her mind raced with plans and ideas, her limbs itched to get up and move.

It wasn't long after she crawled into her old four-poster that she realized she could not stay there for the entire night. It was simply not going to happen, not while James was back in the castle—no matter how many times Summer shook her head disapprovingly at her.

It was extremely difficult to lie still long enough for Summer, Tara and Di to fall asleep. The moment she heard Tara's snores, she swung her legs off the bed and touched her feet to the floor. She willed herself to take it slow as she crept toward the door, forcing herself not sprint all the way back to James.

She grasped the doorknob but froze when she heard the high-pitched squeak of hangings being pushed open.

"Lily?"

Lily's shoulders dropped as she turned back and saw the vague outline of Di's face peering at her through the darkness.

"I'm going to the loo," she blurted immediately.

Di stared at her then, to Lily's surprise, she giggled. "Sure you are."

Lily paused a moment. "I just can't stay in here."

"I know," whispered Di. "Go. I won't tell."

Lily smiled. She did not need to be told twice. A wave of affection toward Di rushed through her as she fled from the girls' dormitory. For a brief time, Lily and Di had been brought closer by their tragedies. Their grief had separated them from the rest; their sadness had linked them. But Lily's tragedy had a happy ending. The one she loved was able to come back while Di's parents were gone forever and what had linked them was dissolved by Lily's happiness.

Still, Di did not grudge her. She understood.

Lily ran down the twisting staircase and burst into the common room. It was dark and empty, but she could not spare it a glance. She had crept through it so many times in the night that she did not even have to think about when to avoid bumping into armchairs and tables as she dashed toward the boys' dormitory. Which is why it was such a shock when her foot caught on something and she went soaring into the floor.

"Bloody hell!"

Before she realized what had happened, she felt a pair of hands groping her in the darkness. Lily flipped onto her back with a jerk and squinted to see who it was.

"Lily! Are you all right?"

"James?" she gasped, relaxing when she recognized the voice.

He laughed and found her hands. "Where do you think you were going so fast? You trying to kill yourself?" he asked as he pulled her to her feet.

Lily let herself laugh too. She put her arms around his neck. Feeling him there in the dark somehow made it all seem real again. He was back. He was really back.

"Where do you think I was going?"

"Well…" James wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "It looked like you were headed in the direction of the boys' dormitory. But that can't be right. Lily Evans would never sneak up to see a boy in the middle of the night."

"It's not just any boy. This one's special," said Lily, pretending to protest.

"That's what they all say." She felt him shake his head. "Head Girl and everything..." he muttered.

Lily giggled. "What about you, Mr. Head Boy? What are you doing out of bed in the middle of the night?"

"Waiting for someone. But I haven't broken any rules," he said. Suddenly he stepped back and bent to pick something up off the floor where Lily had tripped. He popped up, clutching his Cleansweep. "Yet."

"Neither have I."

"We mustn't waste any time then." James swept his arm over her head and Lily felt something fall softly around her. She looked at James but saw that he was invisible and when she glanced down, she was too.

He took her hand and led her across the room. They crawled through the portrait hole and tiptoed down the corridor. Lily nearly shuddered in excitement. The risk appealed perfectly to the powerful new energy that was jumping through her veins. This is why she loved James, she thought as she remembered the many times they had been out of bed together over the past year. She could never predict what new adventure he would create. With him, the castle and the grounds were a different place. The world was a different place. A more dangerous place, perhaps, but also thrilling in its possibilities.

James made possibilities real.

They threw off the Invisibility Cloak as soon as the enormous oak doors of Hogwarts closed behind them. Then, without speaking, they climbed onto James's broomstick and took off into the breeze of the summer night.

They flew over the lawn and the stars that were strewn across the lake. Lily thought about the many evenings they had spent flying together before their happiness had been thrown into disarray when…when it all happened. Mr. Potter's kidnapping, Clive's murder, James being tortured at the hands of his father. Here in the sky, with James's arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his warm breath in her hair, Lily could almost imagine that it had all been some terrible dream lurking in the recesses of her mind. That they were back in that soft place of innocence where they worried about things like Quidditch and homework and detention.

Thinking about that time, tears rose to Lily's eyes. The wind pushed them out of the corner of her eyes and they left burning trails on her skin toward her hair.

That time was over forever. The Death Eaters had captured James's father and took control of his mind. They had attacked Hogsmeade. Lily, James, and Sirius had watched Di kill Clive Pritchard and Lily and Sirius had watched James writhe in infinite pain until his consciousness could know longer take it. And Lily, Lily had faced Voldemort and decided that James Potter meant more to her than her own life.

Voldemort had taken their innocence. They were not kids anymore.

"What's the matter, Lil?" came James's voice in her ear.

Lily glanced over her shoulder then back at the glittering sky around them. "I'm just trying to take it all in."

James was silent. "I know." He gripped her tighter.

They curved around the lake and turned back toward the castle. Hogwarts, their home of seven years, loomed darkly against the night sky, a few yellow lights flickering warmly at them from the windows.

"Can't believe it's over," said James.

Lily steered them beyond the lake toward the lawn, flying closer to the castle. She sailed over the sprawling wings and swerved around a few turrets. Tipping the broom upward, she climbed higher. She flew until they were hovering over the top of the Gryffindor Tower where she dismounted onto the roof. James slid off as well and leaned his broomstick against the turret. He turned to Lily with a grin on his face.

"You know, Evans," he said, closing the space between them. "We could get into trouble for this. Aren't you the Head Girl?"

Lily smiled and put her arms around his neck. She twirled her fingers in the hair on the back of his neck and shrugged. "Technically. But someone showed me how much fun breaking the rules is and I haven't cared much for them since."

James's hand reached up and gently cupped her neck. "They say once you go Marauder you can't go back."

Lily laughed, leaning her head back slightly. "Interesting. I have found that to be the case." Then she looked straight up at James. "You know, Potter, you really have ruined me."

James grinned. "Ruined you?"

"Yes. You've ruined me. I turn into a wreck when you're gone. I thought I despised you and somehow you've made me love you so hard I can't be without you."

James stroked her cheek with his thumb. "I'm sorry, Evans. But at least, you know that you never have to be without me. I will never leave you."

Lily was silent. She caught his hand and pulled him to the side of the tower. They slide down against the wall. Lily curled into the crook of his arm and breathed in deeply, looking up into the stars.

She sighed. "This moment is so beautiful it scares me."

James turned her face toward his. She gladly looked into his face, greedily lapping up every feature she had come to love so unbearably. Very slowly, he leaned in, until they were nose to nose, forehead to forehead.

"I can say the same about you, Lily Evans," he said. "You're too beautiful. You ruined me a long time ago."

Lily smiled and kissed him. Then they both looked back into the sky. Lily let her head fall against James's chest, the thumping of his heart humming a lullaby in her ear.

A/N: AH!! I can't believe it. I've finally posted the last official chapter of this story. I must admit I've had most of it written for over a year but for some reason, I haven't been able to post it till now. I really hope you all like it. And I want to thank all of my readers from the bottom of my heart. With all your wonderful support and encouragement, you have helped me gain confidence in my writing. THANK YOU. I love you all!

There will be an epilogue coming soon, so stay posted.

Love,
Potteress