Valentine's Day Cards

A/N: It's possible I'll do another Valentine's Day Gin's notebook based off another time. Gin likes to vary his pranks from year to year to keep everyone on their toes.

It was such a small thing, really, but it's all about the details. I mean, anyone can just hand out cards. It's forging the handwriting and writing style that makes it more believable. The real trick was making sure that either me or my cameras would be able to get the reaction of everyone, otherwise what's the point? Valentine's Day hadn't even been around in the Soul Society until very recently, but once it got here, everyone got into it. I personally dislike the holiday (I find it depressing), however I can always distract myself!

My first choice was no sweat. Rukia is of course an easy target for me. The poor girl jumps out of her skin if I get near to her but she has all of that Kuchiki training that makes her put on a fake polite smile and pretend that I don't creep her out. I went back and forth on whether to hand her the card in person and watch her fight with herself, or just leave it on her desk and watch her react to it when she thought no one was looking. I opted for doing it in person.

"What's this?" she asked me as I handed her the card.

"It's Valentine's Day today," I reminded her.

"...oh," she said, looking at the card blankly.

"You should probably open it."

I had opted for the great combination of cuteness plus absolute creepiness. It was an adorable cartoon bunny asleep in bed with a little heart over it. Inside it said, "I dream about you."

"...that's...uh..." Rukia stuttered. "That's sweet but I'm actually dating someone," she lied. She's not very good at lying.

"Oh, who?" I pressed, just to see who she'd come up with.

"...um...you don't know him...he's a noble."

"I'm sure that your brother is very happy," I said with a grin. Her eyes went wide as she realized I was definitely going to bring it up in my next chat with him.

"Actually we broke up! But I'm heartbroken about it and I'm not ready for anything else!"

"Sorry to hear that," I said, and gave her a comforting hug. She stiffened in my arms like I was going to stab her.

I could still see her staring at the card and shuddering as I walked away.

Now you might think these are random...because they more or less are. Well, not completely random. I matched them according to what I thought would create maximum impact.

"Captain!"

I was amazed. Was my little Izuru actually yelling at me?

"Captain you...you!"

"I what?"

"You gave Captain Kurotsuchi a card saying that I liked him!" he finally got out.

"Why would I do that?" I asked innocently.

"Because you want him to turn me into a bug!"

"I doubt he can do that." I considered. "Well, I suppose he might actually..."

"Oh, there you are," Mayuri said, coming through the door. "I just need a couple more samples."

"Bug!" Kira yelled at me as he put the desk between him and the head of research and development.

"Samples for what?" I asked my fellow captain.

"Well I'm quite sure he's insane and I'd really like to see how it happened," Mayuri stated.

"Yes! I went insane! Whoops!" Kira said with a laugh. "All better now, you should go!" Mayuri didn't budge. Kira looked at me with those cute eyes and I sighed.

"I probably just accidentally dosed him with something this morning. You know how it is, you slip the wrong thing into someone's coffee," I offered by way of explanation.

"It does happen," Mayuri said. "Hm...well I'll study the samples I already have and let you know what I think."

"Thank you, Captain," Kira said with relief after the Captain of the 12th had left.

"Oh well you see, I dislike bugs," I told him. I decided to go off and monitor my other daily pet projects from my office.

"Rangiku, I'm going to...not be here for awhile," Captain Hitsugaya said to his lieutenant.

"You're taking a day off? Ooooh, it's Valentine's Day. Do you have a little girlfriend?" Rangiku squealed.

"No," Toshiro said firmly, clutching at the card I had sent him. I wondered what had freaked him out the most, the slight drops of blood on the card, or the "Love, Kenpachi Zaraki" that I had signed at the bottom. "Just...tell everyone I'm sick. With something contagious...that makes you weak and not able to fight...and that anyone who gets too close will die a very slow lingering death laying in bed."

"What?" Rangiku asked.

"You bastard!"

"I'm going to die!" Hanataro yelled. He was making a dash towards Squad 4. Maybe he was hoping that his captain would shield him. I already knew that he wasn't going to make it. Soifon was way too fast for him.

"Yay!" Yachiru cheered, jumping in Renji's arms.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kenpachi asked her.

"Renji loves me!" she said. "We're gonna get married and have babies and eat candy every day!"

Renji's eyes went wide.

"What's that?" Kenpachi said, his voice getting low and even, his eyes getting that dangerous glossy sheen.

I wondered what Renji would choose, having to face off against a very protective Kenpachi or a scorned Yachiru. He opted to throw her at Kenpachi and make a bolt for it.

"Wee! A chase!" Yachiru said happily, following Kenpachi as he ran after him.

"Why are you touching me?" Byakuya asked, annoyed.

"Oh, you just had a hair out of place," Yumichika lied.

"Why are you sitting on my desk?"

"Why do you keep asking silly questions?" Yumichika asked, lightly pulling on Byakuya's scarf.

"Are you...flirting with me?" Byakuya scowled. I was faintly surprised that Yumichika wasn't full of cherry blossoms yet.

"I really liked your card," Yumichika said with a smile.

"My..."

I really would have liked to see what would have happened next between them, but Renji jumped in through the window, followed closely by Kenpachi. The camera went out. I sighed with annoyance. Although, at least I could still feel what was happening...it was kind of hard to miss. I think Squad 6 will need a new office building.

I was shocked when I ran into them. I hadn't been watching closely because of all of the explosions and bankais, etc. emanating from the general location of Squad 6.

Shuuhei blushed, but Nemu refused to let go of his hand.

I raised an eyebrow. "You know, it seems little dangerous to date someone like her," I suggested.

"Master Kurotsuchi said it was ok to do my own outside experiments," Nemu answered.

"See, she just called you an experiment. What are you going to do when she ties you up and starts injecting you with stuff?" I asked.

"Um...she already did that," Shuuhei said, his face getting redder.

"Oh...well I guess...each to his own," I shrugged. I mean, everyone has their own kinks I suppose.

Orihime: Let's make Valentine's Day cards for all of the espada!

Ulquiorra: If want to occupy yourself I will get you materials.

Orihime: Thanks so much!

Ulquiorra: Did you just draw Grimmjow as a kitten and write "You're purrfect?"

Orihime: Is there something wrong with that?

Ulquiorra: No, I will deliver it immediately.

Orihime: You smiled! I'm so happy you finally smiled!

Ulquiorra: I smirked. It's different.