Ana's not been feeling well and I'm sure it's all down to the letter she received. I have Welch and Taylor looking into it and investigators searching for Jane and David but so far they haven't found out anything new. I can't help but explore every avenue because I want them both imprisoned for their actions.
Gail's been helping with the children today and together we've managed to pull off the impossible and get them all to sleep before eight. I've been sitting in my study for the past hour trying to finish off some work but my mind keeps drifting back to Ana.
Unable to concentrate anymore I wonder up to our bedroom to check on her and see if she needs anything. Pushing back the door I reveal my wife wrapped up in the comforter and fast asleep in our bed. I walk closer towards her and glance at her pale face from beneath the sheets.
She certainly doesn't look any better in spite of her nap, I stare at her momentarily then decide to leave her in peace.
"Christian," she asks softly making me jump as I walk towards the door.
"Baby I thought you were sleeping, did I wake you?" I ask.
Ana pulls herself up and smiles then pats the bed gesturing for me to sit beside her.
"I was awake, I just couldn't face getting up," she explains.
"Is your head still hurting," I ask.
"No, it's much better thanks, I just didn't feel like leaving the bed."
"Too comfortable," I ask.
"Safe," she remarks causing me to frown.
"Safe?" I question.
"I feel safe, like nothing can happen as long as I stay here."
"You feel unsafe?"
"I do," Ana replies after a short pause.
"Why baby,"
"I don't know I just haven't felt as secure after I received that letter."
"Nothings going to happen Ana. You're safe and the children are safe and Jane is certainly nowhere near us to hurt anyone."
"You don't know that."
"I do, I've spent a fortune trying to locate her and I haven't. Trust me she's not even a blip on the radar."
"I'm still scared Christian and I don't think I will ever feel safe when I know she's out there somewhere."
"I'm sorry, I don't want you to feel this way believe me. I want you to feel safe and happy in our home. What can I do Ana," I ask hopefully.
"You can't do anything Christian, I'm sorry too that I feel this way. Maybe in time I will feel better but I can't change this feeling I have deep down that something bad is going to happen."
"Sweetheart nothing bad is going to happen, please you have to snap out of this. We are all safe and together and nothings going to change that, I won't let it."
I stroke my fingers through Ana's thick wavy hair and try my best to sooth her. It's been a long time since I've had to work so hard to reassure her. Of course when we were first reunited there were a lot of times like this but over the years she's gained back most of her confidence and that feeling of security.
It wasn't easy and we both had many sleepless nights due to her insecurities but Ana is and always was a very strong women and her hardships only made her stronger.
After a while I realise Ana has fallen asleep so I lay down beside her and decide to join her in an early night. It takes awhile but eventually I drift off and soon I'm dreaming of Ana and our children all happy and enjoying a day on The Grace.
I'm just helping Ted to steer the boat towards the open ocean when I hear Ana call out to me. I glance around and see her playing with Olivia and Henry, happily throwing around a multicoloured beach ball.
I hear Ana's voice call out to me again, only this time it's more panicked but my Ana is still smiling happily.
I jerk then jump up and find myself sitting up in bed clutching the sheets to my chest. Ana's still calling out and looking to her side of the bed I find her struggling on the bed her eyes still tightly shut.
"Ana, I'm here. Sweetheart I'm here wake up," I repeat shaking her shoulder firmly.
She turns her whole body shaking then suddenly sits up in the bed beside me. I pull her into my arms and hold her as tightly as I can.
"It's okay, you were just dreaming, it's okay."
"Christian?"
"It's okay Ana I'm here."
Ana looks up at my face and strokes my cheek, she's flushed and damp with sweat. Holding her I start to rock then kiss her lips as she continues to stare up at me.
"Are you okay," I ask as she's still gazing up at me.
"I'm sorry," she says softly.
"Don't be you can't help having a bad dream. It's okay now, it's all over."
"Is it," she asks sadly.
"It is," I reply firmly.
I hold her in my arms for hours but I doubt either of us falls back to sleep. I'm worried, Ana hasn't had a nightmare in months and I don't like how she fixated she was on me when I woke her. Was her nightmare about me, did something happen to me. I guess I'll wait until morning to find out but in the meantime I just what to hold my wife and reassure her that I'm with her and she's safe.