Play Wildfire by Natalie Taylor (This entire get away was included into the story b/c this song inspired it, especially the last little bit)
By now the boys had spent three full days in Eddward's cabin. It had been an enjoyable time if you asked either of them. They would spend nearly all day together lightly chatting or simply enjoying the others company in silence. Kevin had insisted on having Eddward speak and teach him Spanish as well as some French. So they had sat around the coffee table in the living room and began their little lessons. Kevin, by no means was good with pronunciation and it brought out many smiles and chuckled from the raven haired who was quickly finding their lesson very amusing. Before they knew it they had both fallen asleep on the floor into the late hours of the night and when Eddward woke up at five in the morning he couldn't seem to break his stare from the sleeping teen next to him for a very long time. It made him content to see that the kid was gaining color to his pale skin, and that his eye bags were disappearing. Every day that passed Kevin seemed to get better and Eddward wouldn't have it any other way.
One another evening, they decided to watch Netflix on Eddward's laptop since they didn't have a television. As they were scrolling through Kevin suggested that they should watch a horror movie, and Eddward made the comment that Kevin wouldn't be able to sleep if they did. So, of course little Kevin took that as a challenge and they made a bet of whoever got scared first would win 10 bucks and with that their horror movie marathon began. Kevin had really tried...but second movie in he just couldn't and ended up hiding behind Eddward's shoulder. The taller teen had chuckled leaning forward to make room for the other to hide behind and only after the movie had ended did he say "I win". That night they ended up spending the night in the living room once again as Eddward had fallen asleep third movie in (they had switched to an action film) with Kevin cuddled close to the swimmer as there wasn't much room to lay down on the couch.
It was dark and ominous in the dark hours of the cabin yet the quietness bought the raven haired some tranquility. He had stepped out into porch downstairs one night finding himself unable to sleep, oddly enough it had been a night the two teens had slept in their separate rooms. Faint hoots of owls could be heard in the distance, and the slow cool breeze rustled the branches of the tall trees. Leaning back in one of the chairs Eddward closed his eyes letting the serenity of the night absorb him in. It was second best to how he felt deep underwater, though there was a suffocating feeling from being underwater that used to please him far more than the quiet. The suffocation of being submerged had been gratifying because it encompassed punishment for every bad thing he has done up to that point, and at the same time relief because he could be mere moments away from escaping his life. He had first experienced this feeling during his first attempt.
His first suicidal attempt…
It was all supposed to happen so fast, nothing was supposed to get in the way. He had walked to the Peach Creek beach one November evening, no pedestrian in sight, nothing but the shinning stars quickly coming into to view as the last rays of the sun hid under the horizon. He had lightly touched at the side of his head feeling the stiches of the injury from hitting his head on a rock after being attacked by his so called friend and abandoned. That had been the last straw, the one thing to break him completely. Everything he could have imagined had gone wrong, nothing would get better at this point. That and everything else was what had finally driven him to walk here and end it.
He had taken his shoes and his infamous black stripped beanie as well as his sweatshirt off and randomly placed down. His ocean blue eyes too hypnotized by the beauty of the water, an proceeded to take small steps forward. The cold water tickled his feet sending chilling sensations through his body finally realizing the tears that had been held captive for so long. She understood him, she was cold and crying too, she was inviting and welcoming to his pathetic emotions. So he let her hold him as he dived in the water feeling the water envelope his body completely in a powerful embrace. He rose above the shallow water then let himself slowly sink watching the night sky disappear in a mixture of haziness. He was scared wondering if anyone cared? If there was anyone out there who would miss his existence? The water's intense pressure was then beginning to choke him and when he had tried to cry out he realized that this was it. He was never getting peace, dead or alive. So he submitted to the water's dominance and let himself be taken by her.
That was how it was supposed to have ended, but a mixture of orange and green had invaded his blurry vision and when he woke up he was in a white room with tubes shoved up his nostrils and through his mouth. It had been an unpleasant couple of days though thankfully his father hadn't been in town during that time.
Eddward opened his eyes slowly looking around his surroundings as he heavily panted becoming conscious he had relived his first attempt. His cold hands trembled in his lap overwhelmed by the emotions he had felt that night. He had been unconditionally scared, scared of what was to come after death, of being in the dark for all eternity, and for dying without having anyone to apologize and say goodbye to.
Now the mere thought of having even attempted petrified him. He was now in a somewhat peaceful state of mind thanks to a certain sleeping ginger. Though, that didn't guarantee him anything in the future. He was still in the beginning stages of transition, and he had yet to figure out what road to walk or what he wanted or who he was. Kevin was holding onto his hand in a grip that seemed to tighten with every moment they spent together. The teen was aiding him in keeping him calm and contained, but how long would this last? What will happen when the new school years begins? Will he be yet too cowardly to stand up and fight or will he continue to be Sam's puppet? What will happen after they graduate, surely they would go different paths but without Kevin around will he be able to continue to be stable?
The swimmer let out a small whimper as he lowered himself further in the seat and covered his eyes with his hand. It was thanks to Kevin that he had finally begun to look into the future, and after Kevin's recent incident he feared death more than ever. Death had lightly scraped it's long nails across Kevin's small body, and now Eddward wanted nothing more than to keep death away from the ginger. This mission however required him to be alive, so for the first time in a long time from the moment he had seen Kevin's fragile body in the hospital bed he stopped thinking of dying. He resented it, he hated it.
Nothing was going to hurt Kevin anymore, because he deserved nothing but happiness. Eddward was going to make sure of it, and anything that tried to get in the way was going to get through him first.
He clenched his hands into fist tightly, no longer shaky, and looked inside. Inside there was the one human being to care for him for the first time in his pitiful life. Inside was the one person who had so stubbornly stuck with him and genuinely enjoyed being with him. Inside Kevin Barr was blissfully asleep.
.
.
.
In the afternoon they decided to travel down the mountain after a lazy morning having coffee and going over Spanish vocabulary. Throughout the morning Eddward noticed the ginger constantly looking at his phone and quirked an eyebrow at him and asked "Have some where special to be?" he asked smiling as he placed his cheek on the palm of his hand listening to Kevin attempting to pronounce desarrollo. It was beyond amusing watching the difficulty of the other trying to roll his R's.
Kevin had looked up with a confused look "uh yeah, back in my bed cause I'm getting a headache with this fucking r" he giggled.
"Well then how about you put those vocabulary cards down and tell me what you want to do today?" Eddward swirled his spoon in the coffee mug.
At this the ginger lightened up his eyes shining with excitement "Let's go down to the lake! It's really hot today anyways. It'll be great" As much as he wanted to dip him feet in the water Kevin honestly kind of just wanted to see the other swim.
"I hope the heat doesn't get any worse" The raven haired groaned collecting the vocabulary words into a pile and handing them to the ginger "last time it got this hot was four years ago" he rubbed a hand on the back of his head feeling light traces of sweat. "I feel disgusting..." He mumbled.
The ginger boy giggled "yeah that was pretty bad, good thing intense heat is rare here. Must be global warming" he picked up at the pile of cards and placed them safely inside a cupboard. "So it's a yes?" He quirked a smirk.
"Certainly" he huffed.
...
The teens walk close to each other as they made their way down to the lake. The teen walking fast paced desperately wanting to get to the refreshing water and escape the tormenting heat.
As the lake finally came into view Kevin impatiently jumped up "Finally!" He yelped and made a run for it. "FIRST ONE IN THE WATER IS FRIED CHICKEN!"
"Fried chicken?" Eddward continued to walk normally chuckling at the childish remark.
"Yeah, that's what you'll be if you don't take cover from this fucking sun!" The smaller teen called out taking his hat and glasses off and placing them under a giant tree that gave enough shadow to over a small section of the lake. He kicked his shoes off and dropped his towel feeling much cooler under the shade and the water tickling his feet. He recalled back to a couple days ago when they had gone up the mountain and had talked about Eddward's parents. They hadn't discussed anything further since, but Kevin had noticed that the raven haired teen seemed to be more comfortable even by a small fraction. For example he didn't tense when they touched anymore. Kevin smiled down at his blurry reflection and turned to see Eddward finally joining him. "I win"
"Indeed, though you should have bet those ten dollars you lost the other night" Eddward smirked kicking his shoes off as well.
Kevin frowned "Damn it I missed a perfectly good opportunity...but you're fried chicken from now on" he chuckled.
"Yeah yeah whatever you say little fourth grader" he smiled and ruffled the short ginger hair. "It's been a while since I went for a swim" feeling the water at his feet brought him joy, though with the nightmare of his memories the previous night he couldn't fully enjoy the water's calming sensations. "Come on" he said quickly taking his shirt off and tossing it behind him. He swan further into the water until it became profound and then dived in.
With his eyes closed he could clearly feel the same sense of suffocation he had felt in his memories, no longer pleasantness but chilling. He quickly rose back up and breathed in heavily looking up at the cloudless sky above. He tried to get his mind off the memory and straighten up looking over at Kevin who was elbow deep in the water clearly still able to lightly touch the ground. The little ginger seemed distracted once again as he was staring at the pile of their belongings. "Everything ok?" he asked cautiously looking around to see if there was something that had spooked the teen.
"Hm?" Kevin turned back around "Oh yeah, just wondering if some random deer might come by and snatch our stuff" He lied.
Eddward smirked back "Uh huh, don't worry Barr they'll probably run off when they smell our sweaty shirts"
Kevin laughed out "Probably"
"Come over here the waters nice" he gestured with his head, tilting it a bit.
The small teen leaned back sinking in a little in the water "Nah, I'm not that great of a swimmer, this is my limit" he chuckled "nearly drowned once now that I think about it"
Curious Eddward swam closer to the other "When?"
"Mm… let me think" Kevin kicked his feet a little "I think it was about three years ago?"
Eddward tensed up realizing that was around the same time his first attempt happened "Let me guess, you were out with your little girlfriend at Peach Creek Beach one summer day and you wanted to show off. So you swim into the deep end?"
Kevin chuckled "ooh you were so close, actually I was with Rolf remember him?" He asked
"Your blue haired friend right?"
"Yeah, that's him." Kevin gave a sad smile. It had been months since he had last skyped with the guy. "Um, we were walking by the beach because it was the one year anniversary of my grandpa's death and the last thing I wanted was to hear my dad crying in his room, so I called up Rolf and went out."
"How'd you go from taking a stroll down town to almost drowning?" Eddward asked
Kevin let out a small laugh "Funny story…kind of, though not really…" he mumbled "I saw some guy swimming out and I thought well isn't that stupid it's fucking November who'd want to swim in freezing water"
At this the raven haired froze in his spot carefully watching the ginger pause in his story remembering "Indeed" he said stupidly.
"Anyways as the mighty Barr man that I am I ran in when I saw he wasn't coming back up to the surface, and naturally I panicked" he chuckled out.
"Always the hero aren't you?" Eddward replied
"Haha…well if Rolf hadn't ran after me we'd both me dead" Kevin lowered his eyebrows "So I guess this is my second near death experience"
"You do realize there were far better and safer alternatives to help, right?" the taller teen said guilt washing over him once again.
"Well yeah, but I panicked and I don't think straight like that." He gave the other a look "He would have died for sure if we hadn't gone out there…and I don't think I could live with myself if that happened"
"You nearly drowned Kevin"
"And I've also nearly died of an overdosed…" Kevin anxiously turned his head away "Seems to me I've been able to cheat death twice already"
"…You can't cheat death forever" Eddward still shaken by the story mumbled out.
"Well, Jimmy and Johnny seemed to strongly believe I'm a cat with nine lives" Kevin chuckled out "I wouldn't be surprised if it happens a third time"
"It won't" Eddward suddenly spoke out
The little ginger raised an eyebrow at him "…How are you so sure?"
Eddward hesitated in his response, unsure if he should make any promises he may not keep "…I'll make sure it won't…" he lowered his eyes to see Kevin's blurred reflection on the water.
Kevin stared at Eddward for the longest time. Was he telling him the truth? Will he be able to keep his word? "Hey, don't go and say things you don't mean" he chuckled.
Eddward made eye contact with him then and there. A stare so determined and strong it surprised Kevin and suddenly he was seeing the intensity of those blue orbs he used to fear. They were eyes that could kill "You have my word…Kevin"
The other gulped unsure if he should fully trust Eddward with this statement… "Do you remember what I told you back in your bedroom?" he asked making sure Eddward was aware what would happen if he broke this promise.
"Look, I want to help you. I really really do...but I have to make this clear. I will not tolerate another act like that again"
"Yeah I remember" he said slowly yet firmly.
Kevin continued to stare bewildered by this reassurance "Ok" his hands were somewhat shaky under the warm water because he wouldn't know what he would do if someone else lied to him again, If Eddward abandoned him once again, and if his trust was thrown out to the trash. Well, let's just say Kevin would surely be making more appointments with Dr. Garcia. "Ok…" he repeated.
He felt Eddward grab at his hand and give him a reassuring squeeze and he held on tighter as if to make his point more clearly and waited to see if the taller teen would take it back. However, Eddward just silently held his hand just as tightly "…ok" he whispered out.
They stayed silent for a couple more long minutes before Eddward began to slowly pull Kevin out into the deeper parts of the water. Kevin was afraid but he knew Eddward was there, holding him close, so he let him drag him along. The swimmer placed a gentle hand on his slender freckled back and tilted him having Kevin float in the water. The ginger stared intently up at the sky, the heat long forgotten and focused solely on the other's calming voice giving him instructions.
Before they knew it the afternoon had begun to get slightly cooler and they decided to finally get out of the water and lay down under the tree's shade. "You would make a great teacher you know that?" he asked looking up at the still sunny sky.
"No I wouldn't" the taller teen mumbled
"Yeah you would…You've been teaching me a lot of things recently…and you're really good at it" Kevin gave the other a soft smile.
Eddward sigh out returning the smaller teen's smile "If you say so"
They once again stayed silent for a long moment before making their way back up to the cabin and changing. As Eddward made dinner, Kevin resumed his former study of Spanish and French vocabulary. "Hey, I think I can finally say something in French" he called out excitedly from the couch.
Eddward turned his head "Alright let's hear it" he said
Kevin smiled and cleared his throat "…Je vous remercie" he slowly spoke out.
For a moment the raven haired teen flushed completely before returning to his task of stirring the pasta and trying his hardest to surpass a goofy smile "Sounds great" he finally called out proud his voice sounded natural.
After they ate and joked around as they cleaned up the kitchen Kevin began to get silent remembering their earlier conversation in the lake. He sat on the couch his legs crossed and the deck of vocab card messily all over the couch. Eddward sat close to him on the floor reading a novel. "Hey Eddward?" he spoke out.
"Need help?" Eddward asked putting his novel down and looking up.
"N-no…um" he stuttered placing down the card he had in hand "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything" Eddward shifted his body around to face the ginger above.
The smaller teen could feel the warmth from his flushed cheeks embarrassed to ask the question. He placed a hand to his left cheek and breathed in "um..." He began "A-Are we...you know...f-friends now?" He asked looking down at the pile of cards in his lab too embarrassed to make eye contact.
It seemed that it was embarrassing for the other as well as he turned away not looking at him. Kevin thought he wasn't going to answer or that he was going to say something else. Damn it, he shouldn't have asked. In a small voice Eddward finally spoke "I hope so" he mumbled out.
Kevin looked up seeing the edges of the others ears bright red and smiled finding it endearing "Good to know" he mumbled out feeling a rush of a fluttery feeling overwhelm his stomach. He was giddy and happy but he tried to surpass it "can I say something else?"
"...of course" the Raven haired said lowly still facing away and ears burning redder.
"…tomorrow's my birthday…" he whispered out pretending to study the word on the card. He flipped it over and read the definition of the word nonchalantly.
Eddward now turned to face the ginger above and looked at him curiously. Kevin had no trace of caring much of his own birthday, and clearly didn't want to celebrate but Eddward knew better. "Come with me" he said standing up and pulling on a zip up hoodie.
Surprised at the sudden rush Kevin followed the other in a hurry leaving the card to scatter all over the floor as he stood up and grabbed his zip up as well. "Eddward where are you going?" he quickly pulled on his shoes and ran after the raven haired teen, who was already out the door.
"You'll see" he called back taking out the battery lamp he had grabbed and turned it on. It had gotten pretty dark out now since the sun had gone down. "Come on"
"Wait up will you" Kevin stumbled tripping over rocks and his lose shoe laces. After a couple of moments trying to messily tie his laces he finally was able to catch up next to the raven haired teen. He looked up seeing the concentrated look on the other's face as if scanning through a map in his head. The ocean eyes moving quickly trying to recognize the path they walked through.
He placed his hands in his pockets following the other's lead without any questions. He looked around the area hearing the animals rustle about the dark forest. He inched closer to the taller teen brushing their arms together as they walked, too shy to take him by the hand.
"This way" Eddward pulled him over out the path they walk and stumbled through bushes. Once they made it through there was a huge clearing of plain grass that had a gorgeous view of the night sky. The stars twinkled brightly like polished diamonds and the moon the center of attention with its lovely presence illuminating them.
Kevin wondered how many times had Eddward come up here alone to stare at this beautiful scenery. "You know I still haven't shown you my favorite spots…but so far you definitely win again" he spoke unable to tear away his stare from the sky
Eddward stared down at the smaller teen enjoying his happy expression. Now that was a face he wanted to see all the time. "Happy Birthday" he whispered out now looking up as well.
Kevin eyes widen and turned to see the other a blushing creeping up his face. No way did he ever think he would hear the mighty king of sharks wish him a Happy Birthday. "I-It's not my Birthday yet..." he laughed nervously.
"It will be in a couple of hours" he smirked placing his hands in his pants pockets.
The little ginger couldn't stop smiling "Je vous remercie" He whispered out and continued to look up. How was it that Eddward knew the right things to say or do, how in the hell was this guy standing next to him right now ever a tormenting bully. It didn't make sense but he hoped he kept it up even when school began.
"Kevin" Eddward spoke out "There's something else I want to show you"
"Hey, you don't have to. This is enough" Kevin chuckled looking over the other, but shut his mouth when he saw the serious expression Eddward looked at him with. "W-what is it?" he asked quietly.
Eddward moved closer and towered over him reminding little Kevin of the when Eddward would corner him at school. Now he remembered… "E-Eddward what are y-you doing?" he nervously asked.
"Put your hands up" Eddward grabbed his arms and placed them in front of Kevin's face "Tuck in your chin, that's how people easily get knocked out and bend your knees keeping a strong stance" Eddward's used his legs to get Kevin to bend "This way you will be covering your center line. Anything that comes through the middle will hit your hands" He lightly punched Kevin's freckled hands. "If their holding anything sharp and they hit you with a hook, you have two options" He extended Kevin's arm out "You want to block their hit like this" he demonstrated lighting connecting their hits together "or slip under the attack and if you have the chance at any moment runaway"
"I know you can take a punch, but running away safely should be your number one priority throughout the entire time. Constantly move, and slip away from attacks, and use your legs" Eddward demonstrated lightly kicking at Kevin's knees "Demotivate them to continue their attacks by kicking at their knees"
Kevin was stunned at the sudden instructions, trying to quickly store all of it in his mind. He nodded his head and listened intently doing as Eddward told him. "If they have a knife to your throat, they most likely won't hurt you immediately so" Eddward placed a hand on Kevin neck. It was then he had felt the same fearful sensation he had back in Eddward's bedroom when he had barely touched his neck, though now it entire hand touched his skin. In a rush of panicked Kevin quickly slapped his hands away and stumbled backward falling down on the ground.
Eddward had gone speechless seen the extreme fear Kevin stared up at him with. It was painful to see, nearly making him want to cry because he had caused this. The raven haired teen bent down and gently placed a hand on the other's arm "It's ok…I'm not going to hurt you" he said.
Kevin calmed down after a moment "I-I k-know" he breathed out shakily "I just…" he whimpered remembering all the time Eddward and Jimmy had choked him.
Seeing the fear saddened the taller teen and frowned "I understand…but you need to beat this Kevin…you have to"
With crystal eyes Kevin nodded and tried to hold himself together as he saw Eddward raise his hand back up and softly grab at his neck. The ginger could feel his entire body begin to tremble and a sense of suffocation tug at his lungs. He quickly began to shake his head in a plea to let him free and his left arm shot up trying to rip Eddward's hand away forcing the other to tighten their hold on him which only made Kevin panic more. The raven haired teen gently rubbed at the other's free hand trying to calm him down "I'm not going to hurt you Kevin" he whispered out calmingly.
Flashbacks of the chokings too strong for the teen to handle causing hot tears to run down his freckled face and that's when Eddward released his hold on him and enveloped him in a tight hug murmuring in his ear. "It's ok…it's ok…I'm sorry it's over now". To the swimmer's relief Kevin wrapped his arms around him too and sniffled into his neck. "I'm sorry" he continued to whisper out.
After a couple of minutes Kevin felt well again and leaned into the others embraces appreciating the warmth of it, his eyes wondered up to the sky and saw the once again gorgeous sight. He tightened his grip on Eddward's shoulders and closed his eyes relishing the moment for a little longer. "Again…" Kevin mumbled out after another moments of silence.
Eddward pulled back and rubbed the wet freckled cheeks gently "Are you sure?" he asked.
Kevin breathed in and nodded "Yeah I'm fine now" he stated firmly. Eddward was right. He needed to get over this.
"Ok" Eddward hesitantly raised his hand again and gave a look towards Kevin, who simple nodded again. So he lightly touched his neck before lightly gripping him. Once again, Kevin could feel the same feeling as before but he tried his very best to ignore it. He's not going to hurt me, he's not going to hurt me, it's ok damn it he repeated in his head with his eyes closed tight. After moments of this he felt Eddward place his other hand on his neck. The feeling flooded him completely this time, it was hard to control. Kevin panted heavily and clung tightly onto the other's shirt trying not to kick.
A good couple of minutes of this and when Eddward heard Kevin's breathing calm down he let go and star at him with a wide smile "You did it" he commented.
Kevin opened his and stared up at the taller teen and smiled back. He was in a trance seeing those ocean eyes shine just as brightly as the stars above, they were just as beautiful. He's not going to hurt anymore… Kevin said once again reassuring himself. "I did it" he leaned forward burying his face into Eddward's chest and hugging him tightly.
With a soft smile the raven haired teen rubbed at the ginger's back and gave little scratching movements on his ginger head "You did great Kevin"
"Hey Eddward" he mumbled turning his head to the side hearing the other's warm heartbeat.
"Hm?" the taller teen hummed in response enjoying the close contact.
"Thank you…" the little ginger smiled
Eddward let out a small chuckle "…I should be thanking you"
"You don't have to" he mumbled
"But I do" he chuckled again. So he breathed in and after moments of silence he finally said "Thank you…"
Kevin felt the arms tighten around him, so he welcomingly tightened his hold as well and leaned further in.
…
Je vous remercie: Thank you
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please excuse any errors in this and in the future with wrong french wording, I'm just using google translate lol.
Please leave a review, I enjoy reading them very much and helps me stay motivated! I really enjoyed writing this chapter :3
Let me know if you have any thoughts, predictions, and any feels! :3
Look forward to the next time I update! and let's see what happens next.
I hope you have a lovely Day/Night XOXO