Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters.

AN: Okay, here's Chapter 34. Hope it's alright. I'm really tired, and I just want to go to sleep and eat Chinese- in that order. Please Read and Review.

Chapter Thirty Four

Letter

"How about some soup?" I asked, getting a bit impatient. It was nearing nine p.m., and I still hadn't read the letter from Paul, because I had been sitting here, next to Brady who was in a semi-catatonic state.

He didn't answer when I asked if he wanted food. He'd just sit on the couch, staring straight ahead at the wall- not at the TV, that I turned up till it was blaring so he would have something to take his mind of Dimitria and Kieran- or Kai, which was apparently Dimitria's son's middle name, and nick name. Somewhere in-between crying, and staring off into space, Brady mentioned that little fact, I don't know why he did, but he decided to share it with me, and then cry some more. The conversation kind of went like this- "His names, Kieran, but Dimitria said they call him Kai. . . If that was our child we would have picked out the name together," Brady whispered it, and then said nothing else.

I was starting to wonder if delirium was taking over yet.

I was getting annoyed now. All I wanted to do was go up to my room and read the letter. "Fine, forget the soup. Chinese? I'll order you some shrimp fried-rice, and egg-rolls. How does that sound? I'll even leave some cash on the counter for you, and all you have to do is answer the door and pay the guy."

Still no answer. Luckily he had stopped crying at some point though, so that was a plus. I snapped my fingers a few times, trying to get his attention, but that obviously didn't work, so I had to make myself trudge over to him, and flick him on the head a few times- which ended up hurting more than I anticipated, I wasn't sure if that was from him being a wolf, or from him being born with an unnaturally hard head.

"Braden, did you hear me?" I demanded, speaking loudly.

"Uh-huh," he mumbled lowly, never taking his eyes off the wall, or moving.

Throwing up my hands, agitatedly, I turned on my heel, swiped the unopened envelope off the coffee table, and headed to my room.

After I whipped off my clothes, and changed into warm pajamas, I climbed into bed with the envelope. Holding it in my hands, I felt nervous all of the sudden. There were no distractions now, and I could open the letter finally, but did I really want to? I mean, I wasn't really sure what the contents of the note said. For all I knew Paul could be telling me to leave him alone now. He could have found someone else. . .He might be done with trying to fight for me.

Not that I could really blame him. I was pretty stubborn, and I never really gave him a chance to prove himself.

Slowly, I slid my finger under the seal, and opened it carefully, before unfolding the note.

With a critical, and cautious eye, I read the contents-

Dear Hannah,

It's Paul- but I'm wondering if you already knew that. My handwriting is pretty unique- or sloppy, or both, I guess. Can you tell I'm nervous? And would you believe me if I said that this is the seventeenth time I tried writing this? Because it is. The first time I decided to do this in a letter was the day after I phased in front of you. I could see it in your eyes that you needed an explanation, but you weren't going to listen to me tell it, so I wondered if you'd read it off a paper. Maybe doing that would make it easier, I didn't know- I still don't.

But anyway, I was going to write this really amazing letter, explaining everything to you, hoping that you would read it and. . .I don't know what I expected to happen. That you'd run to me with open arms? Possibly, or at least that's the way I fantasized it. But in reality, when I actually made myself sit down and write, I couldn't get it down on paper. I wasn't sure how to explain the things I wanted to, Hannah, and I think it was because I was afraid that you wouldn't give the letter a chance- wouldn't give me a chance. I questioned whether or not writing this all down was even worth it so many times.

And then, I had to go and mess everything up by patrolling around your house that night- the one when I caught that half-vampire's scent outside of your house. I'm not sure if anyone's told you this, but I really hate those bloodsuckers, Hannah. And I know that that's not a good enough reason for the way I acted, but you have to- please, understand how I felt that night. I wanted to be near you so bad, all I could ever think about is you. . .It's still that way, but when I caught that scent, the leech's scent on the side of your house, I got paranoid. At first I thought that he was curious, but I had a feeling that it went deeper than that, and when I smelt his scent on your window, I lost it.

I shouldn't have shouted what I did. That doesn't mean it's not true, because it was- all of it, but I shouldn't have done things that way. I was suppose to tell you about the imprinting. I don't know how I would have explained it in person, but I'm going to try to get you to understand things right here in this letter.

You're my imprint, Hannah.

It's almost like falling in love at first sight, but not entirely. It's fate's way of telling us wolves that we've found our mate. There's a lot of different theories of why we imprint, but I think that it's just a faster way of finding our true loves quickly. And I bet you think I'm completely whipped, saying all these things, but it's true. Kim is Jared's imprint, and Dimitria's Brady's. Other wolves have imprinted too, it's suppose to be rare, but I don't see how, when half the pack has already done it.

And, I'm probably not explaining this right, considering how I always mess everything up, but Hannah, you're my soul mate. Don't think that it's just some creepy wolf thing, because it's not, like I said before, I have always thought that you were beautiful, and an amazing person.

And even before I phased I keep trying to think of ways to apologize to you, and to get you to want to be with me again. I think all of this has to do with the fact that I love you. I love you, Hannah. . .I'm completely in love with you, and it's just that simple. It's not a theory, or a thought, or some crazy crush that might go away later. It's a plain and simple fact, and my love for you- it's not going away.

Please don't think you have to return my feelings though. Because you don't. You have a choice Hannah. You can be with whomever you want- even that. . .Caden. I'm not going to say it won't hurt, because the most painful thing I'll ever experience is losing you, but if that's what you want, if it makes you happy. . .then that's all I can ever ask for. I need for you to be happy.

I'm sorry, Hannah. I'm sorry for being a horrible friend, for not telling you things sooner, for being an awful protector. . .and for being a coward. It's selfish, and pathetic of me for doing things this way. Explaining everything in a letter? It's spineless of me, but I'm afraid. I have been this whole time. I'm scared to death of what your going to say and think when you read this. I already know what I think of me, but I just hope that you have a little more faith in me than I do.

-Paul

A few tears slipped down my cheek as I read Paul's words. It was the most honest thing I had ever read in my life, and it from a boy who was in love with me.

Confessions of honest to God love didn't happen that often in my world. Mom hadn't spoken those words to me since I was little, Brady didn't say them often even if I already knew that he loved me.

Paul's confession was. . .I don't know, but it did something to me. It made stomach clench, and my eyes water, and I couldn't help but smile. Paul Walker loved me, was in love with me.

But suddenly I started to feel dread as the realness of it all dawned on me. Paul was in love with me, but what would happen if I died? If I couldn't stay strong enough to beat the cancer that was trying so hard to kill me.

Leaving the note on my bed, I rushed down the stairs to find Brady in the kitchen, standing in front of the sink, staring out the small window that showed our vast backyard.

"Can't sleep?" Brady asked, not turning around to look at me.

I walked slowly, barefoot on the tiled floor, my feet making a smacking sound until I came to a stop at Brady's shoulder. "Uh, no not really. You?"

He laughed without humor, pressing his fingers into his closed eyelids. "I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. Every time I try to. . . Well, let's just say unpleasant thoughts occur."

I leaned my head on his arm. "Things will work, Bray. You just got to give them time," I assured.

"Yeah, easy for you to say, you've got someone who's willing to do anything for you, whenever you need him there. Me? I've got no one. I bet Dimitria's introducing Evan to his long-lost baby as we speak, while I'm just standing here, waiting for my heart to shrivel a little at a time until there's nothing left," he said bitterly.

I remembered what Paul said in the letter, about Brady imprinting on Dimitria. So, basically, Brady was in love with her. That thought scared me.

"What would happen, if say, she does choose, Evan. . . What would happen to you?" I stared up at him with searching eyes.

Brady shrugged, and looked away. "Nothing, physically at least. But mentally and emotionally, I would be crushed. I love her, and to see her with someone else. . .some one who's part of the pack, the guy who had a baby with her? Oh, God, Hannah it makes it ten times worse. You have no idea what it'll feel like if she goes with him, and asks him back into her life, if they fall in love-" he stopped talking, and clenched his shaking hands into fists.

I didn't want to get him upset, but there were things I needed to know about. "What if. . .let's say, Dimitria died. What would happen to y-"

"I'd die too," Brady choked out.

My breath caught as his response. "Why? Because she's your imprint?"

He gave me a sharp look.

"I know about all of it, Paul wrote me this letter, explaining it all. . ." I let my voice trail off.

"Well, yeah, because she's my imprint, meaning she's the only reason I live and breathe is because of her now, and if that's taken away. . . Them there's nothing keeping me together and alive any longer- Why do you want to-" Brady's eyes pierced mine. "You're not going to die, Hannah. That's what this is about isn't? Do you really think you're going to die? Is there something you're not telling me? Are you lying about how much pain you're really in-"

"No," I growled. "It was just a simple question, one that makes a lot of sense to ask, considering how I have cancer and we haven't found a donor yet."

"We will though. There's going to be a perfect match out there for you. . .and you'll get the surgery, and then get better. No worries."

No worries? I was terrified, now not only of not finding a donor, but of Paul suffering right along with me. I couldn't let that happen. As I stood there in our small kitchen, just me and Brady, I knew what needed to be done. What would be best for Paul would be if I left him alone. . .at least until I knew whether I was going to live or not. I wouldn't make us both suffer for my illness. I couldn't.

Paul's POV

Five days. Five whole dragging long days went by and there was no response from Hannah since I left that envelope containing the letter that bared my soul on her door.

Should I have been surprised? No. Not really.

She had that half-bloodsucker to take my place- not that I really had a place there with her anyway. It wasn't like she loved me- heck, she barely could stand being friends with me. So why not dump and forget about me, it's not like she can't replace me, because she has, with a pale, cold, hard, blood drinker. It's like substituting a dog with a rock- minus the blood drinking that went on. And of course who wouldn't want a rock instead of a dog? I mean you don't have to feed or walk it, it's just there, lifeless, and listening.

Maybe I was just being bitter, and needy, but I missed Hannah so. . .bad, that it literally pained me picturing her with that leech. I had so many questions. Why had she been okay with being friends with a vampire, but shunning me out? Is she with him now? Are they in love? Does she ever think of me? The list went on and on, and the questions just became more paranoid. The pack didn't want to be around me anymore, I was bringing down their mood with my depressing thoughts.

Walking down the path away from my house, I looked around to make sure no one was in sight before I leaped into the woods and phased. Running, always calmed me down when I was over-analyzing things. When I ran in wolf form at top speed my mind cleared up, and I felt free, even if it was for those few moments, it was all worth it.

I felt it as another wolf phased somewhere to the east of First Beach, but I didn't stop running towards the north of La Push.

"Paul," It was Jared. I could see into his mind, his thoughts surrounded Kim. They had made up a few weeks before, becoming inseparable ever since. It made me sick. . .and a little jealous.

"What?" I responded, picking up speed, hoping that he would leave soon. I just wanted to be alone to drown in my misery.

"Paul, stop. You have to get to Forks Hospital," His thoughts were controlled, focusing only on Kim, but it was forced, like he was making himself think in that direction.

"Why would I need to be there?" I growled, agitated that he was hiding something from me.

"It's. . .Hannah."

ANN: Please Review.