Please don't adjust your screens it's really an up date from me. I could list a million reasons why it has taken me so long to get this out but that would just waste more time i just hope there is some one still wanting to read this.

There are a couple more chapters nearly ready to go so it will be no where near as long next time.

"I'm getting tired of asking this." Aaron sighed looking over at his sister. There was a time when she would have willingly told him any thing but these last few weeks it had been like getting blood out of a stone.

"Stop asking then." Sara snapped and regretted it instantly she hated not being able to talk to Aaron he had always been the one she spoke to and in truth she needed her big brother right now. She knew him though knew his temper when it came to matters to do with her, there would be no way he would let this drop and the last thing she needed was for her brother to get hurt too.

"If the new attitude is all part of dating Catherine I'm not sure I like it." Aaron told her his sister having someone else to confide in was one thing his sister shutting him out of her life he wasn't going to let happen. They had seen to much together for him to let it slip now. "Look Sar' I only want to protect you if someone wants to hurt you then I want to know."

"I know you want to protect me." Sara smiled going to sit next to Aaron. She was mightily relieved when he placed his arm around her and pulled her close. "I just want to protect you too and that's why I can't tell you."

"Fine I'll go talk to Catherine then." Aaron told her sitting straight up dropping his arm to his side. He really would do whatever it took to get to the bottom of this.

"NO! Leave Cath out of this she feels bad enough as it is." Sara stopped abruptly almost clamping her hands over her mouth in comical style. She had said too much and she knew Aaron would pick up on it in a flash.

"What does Catherine have to feel bad about?" Aaron turned to closer scrutinise his sister.

'Damm!' Sara mentally slapped herself up side the head. He would not let this go now and if she didn't tell him then she knew that he would pester Catherine till she gave in and since Catherine was still hell bent on blaming herself for what happened Sara wasn't so sure that would be a good idea.

"Nothing really and I keep telling her that but she won't listen."

"Well I know for sure Catherine didn't stab you she was at the lab that day sulking because 'Rick got married."

"She wasn't sulking." Sara cut in defending her girlfriend.

"Could have fooled me." Aaron snorted his disbelief. "So that leaves some one whose actions Catherine could feel responsible for." Aaron pondered this fact for a moment.

Sara got up and moved away waiting for the explosion that she knew would come when he had worked it out.

"SAM BLOODY BRAUN!" Aaron's temper flared as he came to the only conclusion that made sense. Sam 'I own Vegas' Braun had hurt his sister and one way or another he was going to pay.

Sara didn't need to answer for Aaron to know he was right the look in her eyes told him every thing. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" Aaron asked breathing raggedly through his nose trying not to lose his temper with Sara. She had told him once that he looked like Dad when he was mad at her and it scared the both of them.

"Because I knew you would react like this and then go do something silly. Aaron he's dangerous and he wouldn't think twice about hurting you too."

"I can take care of my self Sara, and no one hurts my baby sister."

"I'm not a baby Aaron I'm a grown up who can sort out her own problems."

"Really." Aaron shot back. "Then why the hell do you always need patching up."

"Sorry I've been holding you back I'll remember to not to need you from now on." Sara told him turning to leave.

"Don't go." Aaron shot up from the sofa and went to put his hand on Sara's shoulder holding her back. He wasn't mad at her and he knew that if he let her leave it would be weeks maybe months if they ever spoke again. "I know you're not a baby but you're my baby sister and I can't stop wanting to protect you."

"I know." Sara sighed turning into his embrace letting him take her weight as she burst in to tears. She had been holding in all her emotions and fears since that day in the warehouse not wanting to upset Catherine any more than she was already upset. It felt so good to let go and she knew there was probably no where safer to do it.

"It's ok I got you you're safe now." Aaron stroked her hair gently guiding them both to the floor letting her get it out of her system. "Feeling better?" He asked her after a while when her sobbed slowed to gentle sniffing and the occasional hiccup.

Sara nodded and then stiffened in his embrace. "Aaron what are Nancy's earrings doing on your bookcase?" Sara asked after pulling herself out of her brother's embrace, she stood and moved over to the bookcase. Sure enough there in front of a picture of Aaron and herself was a pair of Nancy's earrings. She may never have noticed them as Nancy's if she herself had not brought then for Catherine's sister the same time she had brought Catherine's ring. 'A ring still stuck in your locker gathering dust.' She reminded her self.

"They're Nancy's?" Aaron tried to fane surprise trying to meet her gaze and failing dismally. They never could lie to each other.

Sara smiled at him. If the terrible attempt at surprise was not a massive giveaway then the cute blush was. There was also his telltale sign of running his hand through the hair on the back of his head when he was nervous.

"You and Nance. I'm hurt…." Sara started before Aaron cut in.

"Look neither of us wanted to hurt you I know you two are close." Aaron moved up close to Sara again.

"…That you didn't tell me before. Sara continued. You're my brother and she's my best friend well more than that really we are as close as it gets or I thought we were. What? You thought I'd complain? That does hurt a little."

"We didn't know how you would react and it's still pretty new even to us. We were going to tell you I promise."

"I'll get over it." Sara sighed as Aaron wrapped his arms around her. from behind.

Aaron gazed at the photo of the two of them. "Do you sometimes wish we could just go back to that time?"

"First in Sunnydale with mum and dad and Cassie you were there and for the first time ever I think I felt safe, and loved by someone other than you. Yeah sometimes, sometimes I miss it being just you and me. It's so complicated sometimes having to be a grown up."

"Tell me about it sis." Aaron chuckled. "I haven't forgotten you know." Aaron pointed out after a moment.

"Can't I just ask you to leave it alone?"

"Sar' he hurt you he has to know that he can't get away with that."

"He'll hurt you too."

"I can't let him get away with it. I wouldn't be much of a brother if I did. I can't let someone hurt you and I can't let someone else look out for you."

'Well that blows the thought of telling him about Angel then!'

"You look tired." Catherine whispered into Sara's hair as she came to sit behind her lover. She took a deep breath inhaling the lingering scent of watermelon shampoo on Sara's hair.

"I'm worried about Aaron." Sara admitted leaning her head back so that it was lying in the crook of Catherine's neck.

"What happened today you have been pretty quite since you got back from his place?" Catherine asked. She had learnt to take her time with Sara. Sara needed time to formulate her own thoughts before she was ever ready to share.

"We had a fight." Sara told her lover shutting her eyes, she was so tired of life being a struggle. If it wasn't for Catherine and Lindsey she knew she would have given in to the stress a long time ago.

"You to will make it up you always do you just can't stay mad at each other." Catherine tried to reassure her.

"We made it up straight away."

"Well what's wrong then?"

"I had to tell him what happened."

Sara felt Catherine tense up and pull away and Sara willed her weary body into action. Turning she knelt spreading her legs a little so she could pull Catherine close to her.

"Sara." There was real anger in Catherine's voice and it stopped Sara's movements in there tracks.

"Cath?" Sara asked questionably.

"Don't do that don't look all innocent and pretend like you don't know what you have done. If you were going to tell Aaron you should have told me, hell I wanted to be there when you told him."

"What because he's going to hate you for what happened right going to blame you for not looking after me like he told you too."

"Something like that."

"God." Sara groaned getting off the bed. "What is it with all of you Aaron, Brass, Sofia even you treating me like I'm still some child." Sara turned to face Catherine folding her arms across her chest. "I hate that you all still see me as the same kid who came here. None of you trust me to be able to look after my self I'm not even allowed to make my own decisions. What is it like for you Cath do you look at me and think wow I have two kids to look after?" Sara could feel her own anger rising.

"Sara." Catherine sighed rising from the bed to stand in front of Sara placing her hands on her lover's forearms. She had been so worried Aaron would decide that he didn't like the idea of them dating if he knew what happened she had forgotten that the only important people in all of this were Sara and herself. "Forgive me." Catherine pleaded gently squeezing Sara's arms. "I haven't meant to make you feel like a child. When I look at you the last thing I think is that I have two children. Baby when I look at you I realise there was a reason I didn't just give up and die after Eddie and I split up. I just want us to work, want us to be happy I see every thing as a hurdle at the moment I just want Aaron to be on our side. My sister loves you and I want your brother to at least like me."

Sara relaxed feeling the tension of the moment draining away, letting Catherine pull her in to a hug. She had to admit she had over reacted just a little but she too just wanted their relationship to work.

"My brother does like you." Sara told her kissing Catherine's head. "It seems though that he likes your sister more." Sara added playfully.

"Huh." Catherine pulled away looking at Sara.

"Well it seems that all those times they looked after Lind's together they bonded a lot."

"Oh!" Catherine thought about this for a moment. "OH!" She laughed at Sara suggestively raised her eyebrows "They're together." Catherine smiled she actually liked that idea she could only think of one person better for her sister, thing was she had no plans of letting go of Sara so Aaron would do just nicely.

"Yeah I don't think they wanted us to know just yet but I'm a good CSI." Sara joked.

"They think well complain." Catherine thought that would be a little hypercritical for her and Sara to say anything about anyone else's love life. She made a mental note to talk to here sister about this. Well as soon as she had teased her a little.

"I have no clue I think they are both a little worried that I'll think the other is stepping on my toes."

"Your brother and your best friend." Catherine paused reflectively. "It will make things a bit weird at times."

"Aaron dated our foster sister in his sophomore year nothing he does can seem wierd to me after that."

"Oh, Nothing I can say to that." Catherine laughed. "Come to bed." She held her hand out to Sara it was more of a gentle command that a question. "I want to show you just how grown up I think you are."

"Your hand is healing well!" Dr White said patiently taking the bandages from Sara's injured hand.

Sara looked down as her hand emerged from the bandage and doubted the Dr's words. To her it looked terrible so much so she wanted to cry. Sensing her unease Catherine linked hands with Sara offering her silent support.

"I would like an x-ray to see how well the bones have healed and if it all looks ok then I think we can start building you hand up." Dr White informed the two women.

"So I get an X-ray and then what, I mean when can I get back to work?" Sara looked directly at the Dr

"Sara." Dr White sighed and instantly Sara feared the worse it was never good when the Dr's started to sigh. "I think you need to realise just what happened to your hand. Getting a full range of movement back is a long shot I'm happy that you still have feeling in the tips of your fingers and thumb."

"Well I'm glad you're happy with that but I'm not." Sara told him standing up. There was no way she could spend the rest of her life not using her hand there was just to much left to do. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks even before she noticed that they had formed.

"Baby." Catherine was on her feet and pulling Sara in to her arms before the first tear dripped on to the light blue material of Sara's shirt.

Sara pushed Catherine away turning to the Dr. She was not sure who she was mad at herself for letting her emotions slip like that, the Dr for not telling her what she really wanted to hear or Catherine at this very moment for being Sam's daughter.

"Can we just get these X-rays over with so that I can get out of here?" Sara asked standing by the door. She had carefully reigned her emotions in and now just wanted to get on with things.

"Of course." Dr White smiled. "Why don't you two go take a seat in the waiting room and someone will come get you when were ready.

"Sar talk to me." Catherine pleaded squeezing Sara's leg desperate to get some sort of reaction out of the younger woman.

"Why what can I say that you don't know."

"Well for one thing I have no clue what you're feeling right now so that could be a good place to start."

"How do you think I'm feeling Cath really? You know I've been thinking that a few weeks of therapy and I could get back to work. Now someone tells me that I should just be happy to feel my fingers." Sara struggled to keep her voice even.

"You hate me right now don't you?" Catherine realised shocked at what Sara had said. She stood so she could look at her.

"Cath no." Sara told her girlfriend rising also, holding her hand out to touch Catherine's cheek but the blond evaded the movement.

"I think you do or at least you did there for a second you looked at me and saw Sam and you didn't like that." Catherine challenged.

Sara looked away ashamed to have been called up on her fleeting feeling she felt she had no control over. It wasn't till she heard the pain in Catherine's next statement that she looked up.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No never please." Sara's plea was desperate and she stepped closer to Catherine placing gentle fingers on cool pale skin. "I don't think I could do this if you weren't here Cath I need you." Sara's tone was light almost a whisper and Catherine strained to hear there was no doubting the next words though as Sara leant forward leaning in to Catherine placing her lips just over Catherine's ear her warm breath was like a caress to Catherine and she tried but failed to repress the shudder that ran through her.

"I love you please stay."

"Talk to me then." Catherine implored leading Sara to a more secluded part of the room.

Sara tried to explain how she was feeling at that moment. "I'm angry really very angry right now all I want is my hand back working and free of pain but no I need more x-rays and more poking and weeks till I can come back to work and all because your dad doesn't like me."

"You see him in me."

Sara shook her head "No but for 30 seconds in there I remembered you were the daughter of the man that did this and it hurt That feeling has gone and now I'm more mad at myself for being that weak than I am at you for anything."

"You're not weak. You Sara Sidle are one of the strongest people I know. I don't blame you for thinking like that. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't look at the mirror and see Sam and know what he did to you. Do you know what I think sometimes too?"

"No tell me."

"I sometimes wonder when we're alone and you role away from me if you only stayed to piss Sam off."

"You really think that of me Cath. When did you opinion of me get so low. I really thought that you knew I loved you and there was no thought of staying because there was never a thought of leaving I got hurt and I needed you I still need you I know I'm grumpy and bad tempered but I'm hurting right now and I'm trying I'm really trying and I thought at least you might understand that."

"Do you think I ever wanted to think like that?" Catherine asked with self loathing in her voice. "I felt sick the moment I let it enter my head but now it's there and keeps coming back to haunt me."

"Cath look at me." Sara pleaded moving closer to Catherine so that there was barely any room between them. "Has this got anything to do with the fact that you think I'm keeping you in the dark after I said that I had an idea on how to handle Sam."

"Sar' I don't think you're keeping me in the dark I know you are." Catherine sighed deeply. "You say you have an idea and then you stone wall me. How do you think that makes me feel when I bet you told Nance and I can be pretty sure that Aaron knows now? What is that meant to lead me to believe?"

"That I keeping you in the dark because I think you'll talk to Sam."

"See."

"Cath that's a brilliant theory really but it had no basis in truth. You think I went talking to Nance behind you back and that I ran and told Az the first moment I got. Truth is I can't talk to any of you about it. Well ok maybe I could talk to Az but he'd just freak and then get far to macho and that's the last thing I need. So no one knows and not because I don't trust any of you but because I was trusted."

"What?" Catherine asked confused.

"It's not all mine to tell some of it I could I'm sure but most of it no Cath some things are better left in the dark."

"Sara what can possibly be worse that you told me about your childhood?"

"A lot and one day I'll tell you it all but I need you to trust that I love you for you and not as a tool in some game with Sam and let me do this."

"I told myself that after Eddie I would never let myself be in a situation where my partner wasn't a 100% honest with me." Catherine looked closely at Sara.

"Well then it seems we have a problem. You will just have to believe in me and trust that I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you and Lind's. Trust that one day when the time is right I will tell you everything that you need to know."

"Or?" Catherine didn't want to think of the possible answers to the question but could not stop herself from asking.

"Well, we say that we gave it a good try but this just didn't work out." Sara choked on the last few words. The last thing she ever wanted was to lose Catherine. She was at the point in her life where she doubted she would make it through the day without the blond.

"Well Sidle looks like I'm going to have to break that vow I made to my self because losing you is no option."

"Good." Sara smiled "Now let's get my hand x-rayed and get out of here."

All the air left Catherine's lungs with a whoosh as her back connected solidly with the wall of the hall. She took a sharp breath as Sara's fevered lips make contacted with her wildly hammering pulse point.

"Sar lets slow this down a little." Catherine murmured against Sara's lips. They had just gotten the protective wrapping off of Sara's hand there was no way that she was going to risk the use of Sara's hand not even for mind blowing sex.

"Cath what's wrong baby." Sara asked pulling back a little looking down in to blue orbs.

"Nothing is wrong baby I just want to rehabilitate your hand properly slowly like the Dr's said."

"I don't want to rehabilitate my hand slowly I want to make love to my girlfriend Cath now please let go and let yourself enjoy the moment."

"Enjoy the moment." Catherine huffed placing her hand on Sara's wrist and pulling it from her panties.

"How can I enjoy the moment when I know that you will probably lose all feeling in you hand if I let you do this."

"My hand my choice." Sara informed Catherine through gritted teeth stalking of down the hall.

"Sar', Sara." Catherine called after the retreating form of her now angry girlfriend. Catherine found Sara sat on the end of the bed arms crossed over her chest a pout fixed on her face. Catherine was sure the moment she saw tears in Sara's eyes that laughing at her was not the best idea she had ever had but she just couldn't help herself she doubled over holding her sides.

"Cath!" Sara pouted harder as her girlfriend laughed at her.

"Sorry…" Catherine's words were punctuated with laughter. "Just… you… look… like… Lind's… when… she… was… ten."

Against her will the corner of Sara's mouth turned up in to a small smile. She was well aware that at times she could be childish, but she was also amazed to see Catherine laugh like this. The laughter had been there in the last few weeks but it hadn't been as heart felt as this.

"I do not pout like Lindsey." Sara pointed out not able to keep her voice as hard as she had wanted. Spotting that Sara was softening a little Catherine stepped closer to her.

"No I said you pouted like Lindsey when she was ten she has all but grown out of it now." Catherine smiled taking another step. When Sara made no attempt to move Catherine straddled her lap placing a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry I blew up like that."

"I'm sorry I seemed to offend you."

"I just want to make love to you Cath properly without us worrying that my hand will get hurt."

"Sara I plan on spending the rest of my life with you so the way I see it is we have forever to make love. You though only get this one chance to make sure your hand heals right."

"I just get frustrated that I'm no longer in control of my life it's in the hands of Dr's and Sam."

"Sam?" Catherine cocked her head to one side inquiringly.

"Yeah I feel like till he gets the message that we're here together no matter what we're living in his shadow. Let's face it here in Vegas it's a big shadow."

"Were living for us and yes the Dr's get a big say right now but Sam no he will get the picture I have a feeling you'll make him. So Sidle shut up stop thinking so much and kiss me."

"Well well this is a nice surprise." As the sarcastic tone from the other end of the phone reached Aaron's ears he gritted his teeth and flared his nostrils.

"Now now don't flare you nostrils at me you called remember." There was amusement in the voice.

"Yeah and you are never going to let me forget that are you." Aaron was beginning to feel annoyed.

"No." Angel laughing outright this time from the other end of the phone annoyed Aaron even more. "And I'm going to have a long time to hold you to this."

"Look will you help or not."

"Should I tell you that Sara and I have spoken and I was on my way?"

"I guessed she had, she seemed too confident that she could handle this on her own I knew either you or Buffy were involved."

"Yeah and it seems you don't trust your sister to take care of this."

"Oh I know that when she puts her mind to it that she can do most things. I just need in on this. Look you may be an immortal jack arse but I need to look after my sister."

"Jack arse now that's not nice." Angel laughed once more.

"You killed people you even nearly killed Sara." Aaron didn't like to think about it. "She may be over it thinks your all trust worthy. I will never trust you not around my sister so unless your want me to tie your arse to my car and drive you through town at midday you'll let me in on this."

"You could try." Angel kept his tone even.

"Yeah I could."

"No need to be so dramatic I'll call you when I get in."

=) Thank your for reading.

Would love you to review.