Hello again my lovely readers, as promised here is a more frequent update for you! Just over a week, but I thought bugger it, I will treat them as penance for my rather shocking 'schedule' otherwise in the past wee while. So yay, more updates for you i suppose! For now haha, no guarantees as I cannot stand to disappoint people again.

Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own AOT

Note: Ongoing warning about potential manga spoilers.

Once the sun had set and the compound was alight with lanterns the call for duty change sounded. Show time. Me and Levi look at each other as we shrug on our uniform coats and we share an odd smile, we could do this together. I then go to him and place my head on his chest for a second, breathing deep as he rests his hands on the small of my back. It could be nothing, it could easily turn out to be some random lackies that I never even seen before. But something in my gut tells me otherwise. Over and over I have tried to imagine what I might do if faced with those beasts again, but mainly its him I fear. I like to think that I'd stand tall, I'd threaten him, I'd snarl and attack without hesitation or fear. But really I am clueless. I swallow hard, still not quite managing to picture myself standing in front of that animal that loomed over me, held my legs apart and-

"Come on, Sanshi, let's get to work." the voice of Levi cuts in, softly murmuring against my hair and then lightly kissing. I nod and look up at him, smiling softly before giving a quick peck on the lips, jumping back and heading out the door. The air is cooling down now, and as the clouds dissipate I think we're in for a long clear night. Could be kinda cold.

We relieve the tired looking guards and collect our flasks of coffee and such. As Valarie had been fed for the day, she was now gagged for the night. In one way I was glad to be freed of her poisoned lies, but also wondering if we could have got more information out of her. Then again it could just be more lies.

The coffee gently steams in my cup as I sit with Levi across from the cell, her stare burning over at us but neither of us reacting. I have my gear on, and with every soft clank of the blades as I shift my weight I feel thirstier. I know the information we can still gather is potentially invaluable, but my god do I want to kill her. My god do I also want some revenge to gush over my blade and sink into the dirt beneath our feet.

"Keep it together, Sanshi." I hear my Captain'ce voice, blinking as I come back to my senses and look away from our prisoner. Apparently I had turned to glare back at some point, probably looking deranged as I salivate over the image of her gasping lips overflowing with her own blood.

"Sorry, sir." I sit back and take a long sip of my coffee, sighing at the warmth, the outside temperature sinking with every passing minute. "How long has it been now?"

"About an hour since lights out was called. I reckon it could be any time from now." He mutters back and I nod, glad to see that momentary look of confusion and worry pass over that bitter face across the way. She had only half heard, but now she had to worry that we knew about her cavalry incoming. Oh yeah bitch, we know about it all right. But then she just shakes her head a little, to herself more than us, and sighs into a yawn behind her gag. I think she was arrogant enough to assume she misheard.

I looked forward to proving her wrong.

I looked forward to pulling her apart.

How many times had she ordered her men to lash me for no reason, how many pints of my blood had she frivolously thrown to the stone floor for the sheer fun of it. Really she was getting off lightly. For now at least. There was no telling what Erwin might allow me and Levi to do to the wench once we had sucked her dry of information. After that? The Commander wouldn't likely give a hoot. I recall his voice when he found me in the cell, how he cursed those responsible and then begged me to pull through as he carried me to safety. Nah, I reckon Erwin Smith might want a go at this bitch himself.

I smile.

Another hour or so passes by and we drink another round of coffee over cards. Surprisingly enough we're quite evenly matched, and I see that flicker of irritation on Levi's face occasionally, he had apparently underestimated my skill with the gambling game. I wonder how often he forgets that I also lived on the streets for a long time. A gentle snore catches my attention and I look over, the woman apparently having dozed off. I assume it's an act to make us relaxed, but then again that could well be me giving her way too much credit. It was an easy thing to assume someone was superior when you yourself are bound and gagged.

I sigh and look to Levi, his eyes now fixed on the steam rising from his coffee as his mind whirred away. He hadn't said anything so far, but how much was this situation messing with his head? This woman had put him through hell, and not only that but using my image to do it. This can't have been pleasant.

I'm about to ask him about it when I hear a rustle outside.

And then another.

I sit bolt upright and place a hand on the cold hilt of a blade, the metal smooth under my touch as I hold my breath. Levi has a hand on my shoulder, but I hear the slight clack of his own blade being readied. I glance at Valarie but she hasn't reacted at all, still 'sleeping'. A shadow moves behind her and I nod to Levi, it was clear they planned to cut a hole in the tent and drag her backwards. Presumably hoping to avoid confrontation entirely. No such luck you fucking cowards. This was why we had the lanterns down so low on our side of the tent, with the bright moon outside, they wouldn't likely be able to see much of our shadows movements.

Without a single noise between us, Levi and I sneak over, watching as a sharp blade sinks through the tent fabric with only the smallest of crackles as the fibres were cut away. We exchange an impressed, though amused, look as the careful work continues, the gentle 'snores' from our prisoner conveniently covering the to and fro of the knife. Had we not been so alert and expectant we could have easily missed this whole thing. The hole is almost big enough now and Levi gets ready to grab the 'rescuer' and drag them inside whilst I slip through the newly made flap to deal with the other bastard. We had discussed this earlier and agreed it would be likely to only be a party of two as that would avoid a noticeable number when sneaking through the compound.

The knife recedes.

I roll my shoulders as Levi bends down a little, a pair of hands slowly appearing and reaching for little miss sleeping beauty. A little more, just a little more. They reach further and further till their head pops in and everything changes before they can even squeak. For a split second I register the abstract look of horror before there's a strangled yelp and the first perpetrator is dragged inside whilst I dive back out.

In one fluid movement I am lunging at the second figure, colliding and pinning them to the compound's dirt instantly. The momentum whacks their head off the ground and removes their hood as well; making we freeze as recognition sends cold slices down my spine to burn dully between my legs. Sh-shit no. My mouth is dry despite my want to scream, and my hands shake as I hold the bastard down. I hear the slight struggle inside before Levi gives a click of his tongue and I hear chains clanking into place. But I myself can't move, I can barely think outside of the terror drowning me.

It's him.

It's really him.

Pain slices into my side and wakes me from my frozen terror, giving fresh vigour to my grip as I choke him. His stubble is itchy under my hand, his struggles almost dismounting me at first, but now weakening as the beast in me is woken. I feel the cold mud underneath us and swallow as bile rises in my throat, eyes burning with tears as I stare at him like I did back then. He's trying to say something, those greasy lips gasping as his complexion turns purple. The mud sticks to my skin, seeming to swirl and become those clambering hands all over again, hands that hold you down and make you submit. I let out a strange sob, rattling out of me as I feel tears roll down my face, eyes unable to blink as I watch the animal wither under me.

"I told you you'd better kill me..." I hiss thinly, voice broken with the need to shriek in the continuing fear that is turning my veins to ice. Good god please make this end, make the death of this fucking animal stop it all in its tracks? The shame, the guilt, the nightmares, the sense of forever being unclean. D-Dammit make it stop?

"You got yours, Sanshi?" I vaguely hear from the tent before there's a shuffling noise, panicked words and forceful hands wrangling me back and shoving me away. In my haze of fury I try to get back there, but the wind leaves me as the pain in my side flares anew, sending me to my knees. Ow. And yet all I can see are those eyes, watery and staring, haunting me despite the fact I was sure I was awake.

"Make... make it stop..." I murmur to nothing and no one, nails digging into the dirt and clinging to the cold therein.

"Robyn? Robyn, can you hear me?" I can hear him Levi, but it's like my whole body is caked in that suffocating mud, turning it all to echoing mumbling. I can't move. Another sob escapes me and I shudder. Of all the possible reactions to seeing that shithead again I can't deny that this was one I contemplated, but not for long, I had the delusion that I would be strong enough to face him with dignity. Apparently not. "Come on Robyn, please. I need to get you to Hanji. Look at me." I blink, the worried pleading to his voice breaking through the fog.

"L-Levi..." I squeak, and he sighs gladly, hands squeezing my shoulders gently.

"You're back. Can you stand?" His voice is gentle, treating me like glass. Perhaps I am more delicate than I like to think – my whole body, mind and bruised soil cringing at such a thought. Fuck that. Delicate my arse. I'm not about to let this brute turn me into a china doll. I nod to Levi and get up, a wince making him look unsure and making me wonder what had actually happened. I don't remember anything but that pinch of pain at my side, but when looking down I see a small blade handle sticking out.

"Oh..." I murmur, hand going to pull it free until Levi slaps my hand away.

"It's the only thing stopping you from bleeding out right now, just take it slow okay? Lean on me." he offers an arm and I glance inside to where a couple cadets have taken over for now. I take his arm and we start across the compound once again.

"Thanks..." I whisper, focusing on one foot in front of the other, the odd tugging sensation on my side making me feel a little queasy. Unless it was blood-loss? At this point I really don't fucking know. Levi squeezes my hand.

"I think I know the answer but... I have to ask Robyn. Is he one of the ones that-"

"Yes." I blurt out louder than I meant to, lips quivering as I taste that bitter confirmation. I swallow and hold onto him a bit tighter. "He... he was the one that actually... I mean he... I..."

"It's okay Robyn, I understand." Levi breathes, his hold tightening as well as he tends to his temper. But he's still there, still helping me, still holding me up. Would he ever not have to do that? "He's in chains now, he can't hurt you any more."

Whilst my head is in a mess, heart is shuddering and body is aching with disgusting memories, I smile softly. My Levi. I then glance back to the tent and bite my lip.

"Can I hurt him though?" I whisper, and frankly he doesn't miss a beat. Levi steps inside our tent, kisses me hard and puts his forehead to mine. The bubble reseals and I breathe him in, his safety, his strength, his simple presence is making this easier to bear. Now he isn't on the other side of cold bars, now he's holding me.

"As far as I'm concerned Robyn, you can tear that piece of shit apart. I only got you away from him because I saw your injury, and I know we have to question him still. We have to at least try to make use of his sorry ass. Otherwise I'd have let you just go for it... I'm sorry I had to intervene." He says before kissing me again and then leading me to the bed to gently lay me down. "You really must have frozen up for him to manage this... bastard." he sighs, barely touching it but making me wince and give a soft cry of pain. I really miss that numbing adrenaline roundabout now.

"Ow."

"No shit." he rolls his eyes. "Stay here and I'll get Shitty-Glasses." he strokes my hair back and again I smile.

"Maybe just call her Hanji as you're w-waking her in the middle of the night to once again patch m-me up?" I suggest and I get to see that rare and wonderful smile.

"I'll give it my best shot, Sanshi."

"Th-thanks, Captain." I grin and take a deep breath, damn this stung a bit.

By morning I had been checked over and patched up yet again, unfortunately not being able to use more serum as I already had too much in my system. But the bleeding was well stemmed by the bandaging and stitches, as long as I didn't jostle about too much I was sure to be fine. At least that was Hanji's assessment. Therefore I was heading home in a wagon, and whilst I hated the idea, I really couldn't argue when that expression came onto Levi's face. I'd have had more luck arguing with a mountain that it needed to be a couple inches to the left.

I manage to walk about on my own for the most part, resting every now and then as I try to stay busy, try to distract myself from the fact that filthy animal was within reach. But it's damned difficult, my eyes constantly veering back to where all three were chained. Each time I have to stop, I have to stare as I count to ten and try to dissipate the gathered Sanshi rage. When the two men were taken in there just before dawn I saw the other man properly as I sat outside and got some fresh air. I recognised him as one of the ones that had held me down, a long scar on his throat where I managed to claw at him. Personally I held him just as accountable. Both men caught sight of me too; and I know which out of the three of us looked the most afraid, and it certainly wasn't me.

It takes most of the morning, but eventually the supplies are packed from around camp, and any remaining tents were to stay put anyway. The journey home would soon commence and with any luck the rain would soon stop as well. I look towards the gate and then back across the newly repaired wall; I hoped this place would still be here when we came back. It was nice to think of even a small slice of land being reclaimed, a tiny victory for us in itself. No wonder Valarie had attempted to thwart it.

I hadn't seen much of Eren yet, the light drizzle making most people dart from tent to tent to avoid getting too soaked before the journey had even begun. I just had to hope that Mikasa had managed to get through to him, to help him accept that he hadn't been to blame for his father's death. In many ways Eren was the victim. But along with that I hoped he hadn't heard about the commotion last night, or my dance with a stiletto blade. I wince a little and sigh as I watch everyone rushing about. I feel like a troublesome child. I was eager to be back at HQ though, where we could properly question Valarie and her lackies. And then have some real fun.

"Oi! Sanshi." I hear my Captain call as I head for our tent, still finding it a little odd when he used my second name, but understanding the occasional need for formality. It was also one of the few times I didn't hate hearing that word.

"Captain." I nod and take note of the quickness of his eyes as they check where the bandages lingered underneath my shirt. Ever the paranoidly caring lover.

"We're almost ready, you're going to behave right?" he narrows his eyes and I nod slowly, hand over heart. "Good, let us take care of things. I'll be in the squad looking out for trailing Titans, so I won't be nearby, but Glasses has promised to keep an eye on you." He says as he keeps glancing round the compound to check on progress. I roll my eyes and he flicks my forehead. It's not like I could do much like this anyway, then again it hadn't exactly ever stopped me before.

"I'll stay put, I promise." I smile, noticing the prisoners being moved to a more secure wagon. Their chains jangle dully and I set my jaw as I watch those three traipse along, filing into place. Their heads hang, but I know it isn't in shame or anything, it's simple self preservation. The sick bastards didn't know what remorse was.

But they would.

They would know it to their broken bones.

"Keep it together, Sanshi." Levi murmurs, hand grazing mine gently.

"Once we're back Levi... I get to-"

"You'll have every bit of revenge you want and deserve." he says with a momentary smile, hand grazing again in place of a kiss. "Now go and get in the wagon, lets get you home."

"Us." I remind promptly, and he chuckles before heading off.

As ordered I make my way for the wagon and clamber in, taking my time to avoid bursting any stitches. I keep looking up to that clearing sky and hoping for an easy journey without any company drooling after us. The rain was lessening at least, that boded well.

"How're you feeling?" Mikasa asks having appeared from fucking nowhere. I jolt and look over the side of the wagon at her, it doesn't look like she's had a hell of a lot of sleep. "Heard you had some trouble from that vile woman last night."

"Nothing we couldn't handle." I shrug, and Mikasa frowns.

"Evidently..." she sighs and shakes her head, eyes having done a similar check-up a la Captain Levi.

"Hey we got a couple more prisoners to question as well though." I nod, hoping to skip the reason I had actually been injured, seeing no point in upsetting her or indeed distracting her. "What about you though? And Eren... I haven't seen him this morning." I glance around even as I say it, but when looking back to her for answer I see the pain flashing across her features. "Sorry..."

"No it's... It's fine, Robyn."

"How is he doing then?" I repeat quietly, and she sniffs as her eyes glance over to the tent she had spent all night pacing.

"I just don't know how much more he can bear... how much more he can handle." She swallows and clears her throat. "He spoke so harshly about Dr Jeager before, about how his father had abandoned him, been a bastard, been cruel... and now? Now I don't think he knows how to feel, how to act. He has so much guilt, it's like he's drowning."

As she speaks I can see it all; the love, devotion and worry. I reach down and take her hand, which thankfully she responds to by gripping back tightly.

"Is he coming back in the wagon?" I can't keep the hope from my voice as I would rather keep an eye on him for the journey, but her dark eyes remain sad as she shakes her head yet again.

"He's refusing to not be on an active squad." she groans, tucking the scarf closer as the wind picks up a little. I frown.

"But has he actually recovered enough to do th-"

"I've tried everything, Robyn." She snaps and I flinch back from her impatience. Another sigh slips past her worry chapped lips before she squeezes my hand again and lets go. "Sorry I... I haven't slept much."

"Are you all right for the ride back?" I bite my lip but she nods, no room for argument in the harsh expression that clouds over.

"I'm not letting him out of my sight."

"Good..." I murmur, feeling like there were more words brimmed on her tongue as her eyes flicker back up to me and I see anger there. Lots of anger.

"What happened last night, Robyn?"

"Well I-"

"We could have really used you on this ride back." She interrupts and I see it broiling just beneath the surface. She needed to vent, and unfortunately I was prime target. I try to think of how to explain it without getting to the unnecessary detail of those men being the ones who... who hurt me. I lick my lips and try to smile off-handily, but I don't think it works.

"I... well... I just got caught unaware by one of Valarie's would be rescuers." I explain, trying to wave it off, but her expression is wholly unconvinced. I grip the side of the wagon under that gaze, willing her to let this go before I had to explain and upset her further. Eren wasn't the only breakable one here. "Mikasa please-"

"But you knew they would come, Robyn."

"Yes but I just-"

"You need to stop being so reckless! The Captain berates Eren for being unable to help because of reckless behaviour and yet you're okay to do the same?" Her eyes start to shine; lack of sleep and over-abundance of frustration bubbling over. I don't want to say it, she isn't really mad at me, but now she's questioning Levi's choices as a leader and that isn't fair either. God dammit please someone make this stop.

"Mikasa I wasn't reckless, I just-"

"No! You're meant to help me look after him, you know how to predict Eren better than me. You know for some reason when I don't. I can't lose him, and with you hurt, the chances of that only increase! Not only are you not there to help me, but you're likely distracting him as he worries for you in this fucking wagon. God dammit Robyn you need to be more careful!" Her voice wavers and gradually rises, a few people glancing over now, not often did they hear Mikasa speak at all, let alone yell. "A-And Levi needs to fucking back off, how can he justify such behaviour towards one soldier and not the other?"

"Levi was only trying to stop Eren pushing his abilit-"

"But how is that different?!" she cries.

"Because that isn't what happened with me."

"Then what did happen?!"

"Mikasa please just calm down so I can-"

"What happened?!"

"It's nothing you need to worry about so just leave it!" I plead.

"No, fucking explain yourself Robyn. Now!"

"Mikasa just-"

"I just want a straight answer from someone!" she cries and I grit my teeth as my eyes feel warm, the words rising in my throat like bile and spilling over before I can hope to stop them.

"I got stabbed because I froze up like a god damned coward!"

There's a weird bubble around us, and I feel the many gazes on us as whispers pick up and float around. Dammit. All I can hope for right now is that neither Levi nor the Commander are around to berate her, this wasn't her fault. I glance up, seeing how she looks like she's about to keep pushing. But I can't let her. I suck in a breath and keep going, sick to my stomach as I say it aloud and make it all the more real.

"One of the lackies, the one I attacked and got stabbed by... he..."

"He what?" she breathes brokenly, confused and failing to tread water herself.

"He... he's the one that... when I was in captivity... the one that r... r-ra..." I can't say the word, it feeling like knives scraping at my throat and tongue. I lay my head against the wagon for a moment, panting as I try and catch a breath. "Mikasa I... I'm so sorry..."

Mikasa stands with wide eyes, a hand over her mouth and tremble to her frame.

I sniff and shake my head.

"Robyn..."

"I don't know why, but I just froze... I didn't even—" my words fall away as she reaches up and hugs me close, it's like before only this time she trembles like Eren. Shit. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. God dammit Sanshi... "I'm sorry, Mikasa... I didn't want to upset you." I breathe shakily into her hair as I hug back.

"D-Don't be sorry, I... god dammit I just got so carried away. I should have realised." I just hold her and give small looks of assurance to those that still look our way occasionally. She was okay. But really I don't think she was, I think this entire regiment was teetering on the edge of snapping.

"Look lets just call it even okay? Or we'll be here all day apologising." I murmur, and she half-laughs, half-sobs in response. "We'll get Eren through this Mikasa, but don't forget about you okay?" I squeeze her and she nods as she lets go, wiping her eyes hurriedly on her scarf.

"Same t-to you. I... yeah, okay. E-Even." she nods, hiding into the red safety net.

"Go on, you better get in position." I nod, not quite meeting her eyes, always seeing it as a badge of shame that would never quite detach. I knew it was foolish to think in such a way, but when sat before a warrior like Mikasa I can't help it. This would never have happened to someone as strong as her. I was weak. I was feeble.

"I'll s-see you back at HQ. Stay safe." She smiles meekly before rushing off, the rain slowing to a final stop as she goes. I look up again and wait for my eyes to dry as I make a final plea to whatever was up there for an easy journey.

Surely we were owed a reprieve?

Orders start to reverberate around the compound and the formation gathers, the wagon shuffling into position. Despite the fact only a select few know about the prisoners, there is a distinct atmosphere clinging to everyone. They can tell something is amiss even if they don't know exactly what that something is. Erwin is making final checks, nodding to me with a momentary smile as he sees I'm wrapping my cape around me. Yes I am going to behave! I'll bet he's looking forward to getting back to Keza, and quite frankly I am too. I touch my side and wince, she was going to give me such a telling off though.

"Scouts! Prepare to move out!" Erwin bellows, sending a few birds into startled flight. I sit down and get comfortable as we start to trundle along, the gate soon passing over me and the trees taking its place. I snuggle into my cape and my eyes begin to droop with the familiar churn of hoof-beats and rattle of wagons. I was going home again.

It felt nice to think that.

It felt nice to know that.

My dreams are all fragmented and disjointed: from childhood to barren adolescence, to training and falling in the dirt. I always seem to land in the dirt. Eventually I settle on a weird memory from living on the streets: me and Keza sat under a small cafe in the city. It was Autumn time, the rain drizzled down noisily on the cobbles as people rushed past to more important things than two hungry orphans. At least I'm sure we looked hungry. The Café in question had previously had a rat issue, the owner having been despairing in the adjacent alleyway when we strolled by. Me and Keza had lived off rat meat for many a long dreary month, and were rather adept at catching the little blighters. I smile. We cleaned that basement out in no time, and instead of feasting on the rats like we had intended, the owner allowed us a couple nights stay in said basement, with full bellies and even some clean clothes. We lived like Queens for those few days. Most of the time we sat by the grate, watching the cobbles shine like silver when the moon danced across them, or gleam like gold when the sun ventured into view. It was strange seeing the busy world beyond and not having to scuttle out of its way, we rested well, and for the first time in months I saw Keza properly sleep.

"You think we'll ever be rushing around like that Numbnuts?" She mumbled through a mouthful of bread. I looked outside to where a lady merchant had just marched up to a broker and was striking a deal over her fabrics. I laughed.

"We already do, Keza."

"I don't mean out of the way of horse-shit... I mean going somewhere, to really do something... to meet someone." She wore a weird frown and I prodded it with a strangely clean finger. Her keen eyes darted to me and squinted. "What?"

"What's goin' on in that brain, Keza? You dreaming of Princes again?"

"Huh? What the heck is wrong with that? If I wanna imagine some tall blonde Princely guy coming to my rescue then fuck it Numbnuts I'm gonna... nothing but shit and dodging shit to think about otherwise." She took another rough bite of her bread and I nibbled on my own.

The idea of Princes was an odd one to me, in general I had feared men for a long time, my father having rather well infused said terror. But a genuine Prince? I laid my head on my arms and watched those busy feet stride past. My mother had spoken of such things when tucking me in on those rare nights that father was away. Those nights when he wasn't around to hurt us. I sigh.

"Yeah... I guess so... why blonde though?"

"Usually means money." Keza laughed with a shrug and I laughed with her.

Seconds later we watched that bold lady merchant slap the buggery out of her suggestive customer, and we laughed till our fed bellies ached. I smile and feel a little sun on my hands as I stretched them out the grate, snatching them back seconds later when another cart trundled past noisily.

In the street there's a commotion. A big commotion with the sounds of flares piercing the sky? I swallow and feel the basement shudder. This wasn't right.

I wake to panicked screams.

Why do I always wake to screams?

Yes I know, I am EVIL for cliffhangers!

Hope you enjoyed, a more normal length of chapter this time round! Finally though we have the potential for some juicy revenge going on! Haha unless those screams mean something else? Hehe sorry I'll stop tormenting you now.

Thank you so much for reading, leave a review, fav and or follow as I love to hear from you all, and I always endeavour to respond to every review I get! I also hope to see you next time!

Shoutouts!

Sebastian: You're a trooper and nothing less to be honest. And oh yes, be prepared for some bloody beatings, i reckon it will take a turn for the more fucked up again fairly sharply ;) bugger knows when this fic is gonna end tbh, like I said last time, I can up with a whole bunch of new ideas whilst away! Thanks for the review and continuing support!

LillyManchester: Ya wee star. Glad to know you're all caught up now, haha although maybe not with this update. The permanent shifter thing is a concept from bugger knows how long ago haha so who knows where it came from in my brain. Mathias has his version of Robyn, but let's face it, Levi had her first! Glad you enjoyed, thanks for the review!