Seeking Solace

Comfort, could be found in the oddest places, Jazz realized as she took that comfort in the form of Danny's best friend Tucker. She would have never expected, not in million years to become friends with the techno geek. But they were friends, good friends.

Jazz loved Tucker's outlook on life. He was funny, he talked too much, he had some strange ideas about girls and was completely absorbed in technology, but Jazz could understand him, and she found solace in his cheery disposition.

Though she never confided in him that she felt left out and though she did her best to establish herself as the elder and the wiser in the relationship, she still held him at a certain level of awe and respect and yes, love. She loved him more than she was willing to admit, even to herself.

Tucker was who she ran to for comfort, when she felt small, lonely, left out and confused. She often called him late at night, just to talk. She rarely shared the burdens of her heart, which frustrated a very vocal Tucker to no end.

"You should just tell me what's bothering you," he would tell her in exasperation, then tell her it was two in the morning, which was a little late or early to be crying over the telephone.

Jazz would then laugh through watery tears and tell him that she just couldn't put to words what was bothering her and thank him for making her feel better. He would increasingly express frustration of not knowing how he was helpful and she would tell him by being himself.

Her tears ceased being about loneliness, about confusion, about feeling left out or finding her footing. Her tears were now for Tucker and the fact that there was no way she could ever tell him of her feelings.

Jazz could admit to herself that Tucker made her feel good. He made her happy. He was what she wanted to be. Well adjusted and happy, even if he was a little goofy. To her he was like sunlight and she basked in that light and warmth and wished she could get closer and cried over loving her little brother's techno geek best friend. What would people say?

"You know better than to care what people think," Tucker told her one sunny afternoon as they sat in the park. He was leaning against a tree playing with his PDA while she was laying on her back looking up at the sky.

"Yeah," Jazz said. "I know that in theory. But if I tell him..this guy I like, that I like him and he doesn't feel the same way or he laughs at me…then what?"

"Then he's an idiot," Tucker told her as he put down his PDA and looked at her. "Because anyone who turns you away, is an idiot."

Jazz sighed as she rolled onto her stomach and looked at Tucker who was looking at his PDA with a troubled frown. "That's the problem," she replied. "Is he's not an idiot. He's wonderful. He's the most wonderful person I know."

"Well then tell him and not me!" Tucker said shortly. "I don't want to hear it. Tell him!" Jazz gave him a shocked look and he sighed. "Just do something about it Jazz. I'm getting tired of this. First, I have to watch Danny and Sam dance around each other skirting the issue of their feelings, and now I have to watch you pinning yourself to death over some jerk. Be fair to me!"

"Fair to you?" Jazz asked as she sat up. "Fair to you how? I thought you were my friend!!"

Tucker sighed, "I am you friend. I just don't want to see you hurt." He looked from her face to his PDA. "I don't want to have to pick up the pieces either and.."

"Well sorry to be such a burden," Jazz growled as she grabbed her books and started shoving them into her back pack, her eyes filling with tears.

"Don't be stupid," Tucker said as he grabbed Jazz's arm to stop her. "You're not a burden. It's just.." he paused.

"Just what?" Jazz asked, her heart doing triple flips in her chest as Tucker's hand slid down her arm then to her hand where he twined her fingers in his. His eyes held hers for so long that she thought maybe, maybe he was going to kiss her. She swallowed hard and watched and waited breathlessly, but finally the light fled from his expression and he let her go.

"It's just that…" he began as he let go of her hand. "I'm sorry. You do what you need to do and if you need a friend. I'm here. I'll always be here for you, Jazz."

"Thanks Tuck," Jazz told him them moved forward and kissed his cheek. "I love you." She grabbed her bag and fled leaving Tucker to sigh as he watched her go.

"I love you too," he answered wistfully.