Shō 37—Igai Raihin
Chapter 37-An Unexpected Visitor

Assuming the matter of the missing hidenka would be ignored by the others for the next few days until Akatsuki could recover, Sesshomaru mentioned only that she was still weak and needed further rest before she could rejoin them.

Unfortunately, one night during their customary evening gatherings in the living area, not being one to allow the subject to die so quietly, Rin decided to question him further. "Lord Sesshomaru, is Hidenka Akatsuki going to join us, anymore?" She wanted to know three days after the incident on the cliff. Her usually bright eyes were looking decidedly dull, and Sesshomaru found his inability to provide a legitimate excuse for the hidenka's absence vexingly annoying.

Thankfully, Inuyasha intervened; coming up with off the cuff excuses were well within his comfort zone. "Hidenka Akatsuki should never have gotten out of bed the first time, and unfortunately, she's had a relapse," he said patting her on the head. "Sesshomaru doesn't want that to happen again, so he told her to say in bed for a while."

Rin's small shoulders slumped noticeably. "Ohhh, Rin is so sorry she had a relapse," she said, not quite sure what it meant, but rightly assuming it wasn't good. "Can you please tell her that Rin is sorry she is relapsed, my lord?"

Sesshomaru's mouth tightened when Rin referred to herself in the third person, like that. He was surprised that she had gotten attached to Akatsuki so quickly, because he knew she would only refer to herself in such a manner whenever she was feeling upset. But then, Rin had always had such a caring heart. The girl had an eerie habit of delving into his very soul in her ability to emulate his own emotions.

On the fifth day, Hidenka Akatsuki finally rejoined the group, much to Rin's delight and almost to Sesshomaru's dismay. How could he explain to Rin that the Hidenka would not be staying? How could he explain that the Hidenka had already tried to leave because she did not wish to be with him? Rin, who respected and loved him dearly, would never understand that everyone else did not love and respect him as well.

Sesshomaru watched as Akatsuki, who seemed to pick up on the young girl's distress over her absence, spent most of her time talking to her. Of course the fact that he had told her that Rin had concerns and had asked about her health during their nightly conversation did not hurt.

Despite thoroughly enjoying talking to the young girl, Akatsuki could not deny that she derived great pleasure from hearing tails of Sesshomaru's exploits. He never talked about himself to her, and now that he would no longer be her protector, it was inappropriate for her to ask such things.

Though she hated using her in such a manner, Akatsuki decided to take advantage of her opportunity to discretely request that Rin tell her more of her adventures. As it turned out, the young girl was an extremely avid participant, there was nothing she loved more than praising her lord and despite the tragedy of it, told a story of the time when her lord had gone to train his sword so that it could be a more powerful weapon, but she and a friend had been eaten by the hound of hell and she had died again, but lord Sesshomaru had rescued her and his mother had brought her back to life. Angered at himself for allowing such a thing to happen for the sake of a weapon, Sesshomaru had stiffened at the recollection of that story but tensed even more at the conversation that followed.

The Hidenka stated that she was extremely sorry that Rin had to endure such a tragedy, but she was certain their lord would never have allowed such a thing if there was any way he could have known the possible outcome. Her words were quickly followed by Rin's glowing compliments of how wonderfully powerful and kind her lord truly was, and there was no one more powerful or caring than Lord Sesshomaru and that he would be very happy to take care of the hidenka as well.

Never at a true loss for words, Akatsuki quickly chimed in that Lord Sesshomaru was truly a powerful and caring lord, something she could hardly deny after he had taken such good care of her.

Rin soon ventured to the subject of how Inuyasha was training her to become a strong youkai killer. But quickly pointed out that she would only kill bad youkai, she would never kill a good youkai like her, master Jaken, Lord Sesshomaru or any of the other good youkai in the castle with them.

Though slightly uncomfortable, Akatsuki soon changed the subject after mentioning that though she could not help her with killingyoukai, Inuyasha was probably better suited for that, she was a water sorceress and could definitely teach the young girl some basic swimming lessons if she would like to learn; recalling the time Rin had mentioned that both she and Jaken had almost drowned. This information livened Rin's spirits greatly as she squealed with delight, looking at her lord, her eyes bright and wistfully pleading as if she couldn't wait to get started, in fact, she even wanted to get started right that very moment, but due to the lateness of the hour, it was a task Akatsuki proposed they postpone until the next day.

A task Sesshomaru watched unfold from his bedroom window the very next morning. A task he almost regretted viewing, because he could see Rin was getting excessively attached to Akatsuki, and he knew Akatsuki likely did not realize how difficult it would be for her when she left. Were there any chance of things working out differently, he would have liked nothing better than for Akatsuki and Rin to form a bond.

Having no suit of her own, Sesshomaru could see that Rin was attempting to make due in her underwear. He would have to ensure that either he or Jaken picked one up for her soon, or have one of the maids make one for her. But it was not Rin that primarily occupied his thoughts at this moment, it was Akatsuki.

Watching as the hidenka and Rin splashed playfully in the water, Sesshomaru was once more consumed with the thoughts he'd had when he had first observed Akatsuki swimming. She was truly like no youkai he had ever known. She was indeed beautiful to look at as the glow of the sun glistened across her wet, golden brown skin. As she bounced playfully about the lake with Rin in close proximity, the water sluicing rapidly down her well formed frame in long, sensuous streams; Sesshomaru studied the hue of her skin, glistening with water that gave off the most exquisite sheen when caught by the brilliant glow of the early morning sun; the beautiful blue of her eyes flashing under the sun's vibrant glow.

The youkai lord paid particular attention to the incredible curve of her body as the lower part of her garment gently caressed her hips. He continued to watch as the sun kissed her already glimmering form as she held Rin securely in her arms.

Maybe one day you will admit that not everything is under your control. If that happens, I hope you remember, it's good not to lie to others, but don't lie to yourself, either.

Yes, he could now freely acknowledge that Akatsuki was truly beautiful, but this time, he was overcome by the fact that unlike the last time he had watched her swim, he now knew that Akatsuki would never belong to him.

Perhaps the hanyou was correct in a deeper sense, he should let Akatsuki know how much he truly did care about her.

Despite his reluctance to do so, he could not help but think that this youkai possessed a beauty that reached deep into his heart and he knew he wanted her, he wanted to tell her that he truly cared for her. For whatever reasons, she touched something in him that had never been touched before. How pathetic of him, he thought, as he continued to peer unrestrained at the beautiful youkai before him.

Just recently, he had thought there had been nothing more important than this daiyoukai resigning himself to fulfilling an unwanted obligation. But he had done that, and yet he had not considered her desires. But that was before… , now, he wanted... he wanted...

Now, he wanted to go to her; to ask her forgiveness for whatever it was he had done that had caused her to flee. To tell her that he could not allow her to leave him. To take her into his arms and acknowledge that he wished nothing more than for her to be his; but he could not. It mattered not what he wanted, for Akatsuki had made it clear that she wanted nothing more than to run from him.

Sesshomaru, do you have someone to protect?

That all too familiar question assaulted his brain once more. How long had he lived his life, thinking he wanted and needed no one? How long had he lived his life thinking he would never care for anyone? But in the short span of these recent months, his conviction had been tested to its extremes; first by his hanyou brother and now by Akatsuki. Did he, or did he not need anyone? Or did he simply want them, because they did not want him? In fact, his acts had caused them both to flee. With a tug on his heart, the youkai lord closed his eyes and turned away; he need not question himself further; he knew his desires mattered not, Akatsuki would soon be gone, and he knew it would be almost as difficult for Rin as it would be for him.

If you want her to stay, just ask her.

But could this truly be that simple? He had allowed this confusion to possess him long enough. He knew not why thoughts of Akatsuki consumed him so, but he would deny his growing affections for her, no longer. He also knew not how important her desire for love truly was, but he cared for her, deeply. Perhaps he did love her, he knew not. But he could not allow her to leave without protest. If she would willingly accept what affection he had to offer, he would take her without question.

Having made his decision, the youkai lord decided he would talk to Akatsuki upon her return to the castle. He could no longer deny himself what he wanted.

Bouncing up from the water, Rin dragged both palms downward to rub the water from her face. "Oh, Inuyasha is coming," she screamed in delight, catching sight of the young hanyou followed closely by the little imp.

Catching sight of them herself, Akatsuki smiled. "You are a busy little girl with all your training, aren't you?" she replied, delighted that she had been able to spend time with her. "Perhaps you can come to my castle one day and train there. There are several children your age that you can train with."

"Your castle?" Rin eyed her curiously. "But aren't you going to stay with Lord Sesshomaru?"

"No, I do not believe so, I have to return to my own castle."

"Oh," Rin declared, not disguising the shocked surprise in her eyes. "Thank you for training me, Lady Hidenka Akatsuki," she bowed her thanks before turning and bouncing toward the lakes edge.

"Oh, Rin, you are much too gracious," Akatsuki called after her. "I am just Hidenka Akatsuki, but you may address me as hidenka if you wish," she corrected with a soft chuckle, following closely behind the young girl. "Lady is reserved for Lord Sesshomaru's mate."

"But that is what you will be soon, won't you?"

"I doubt that very much," Akatsuki fought to refrain from allowing the sadness in her heart to enter her voice as she picked up one of the large tenugui towels she had brought out for their use.

"But that's what Lord Sesshomaru wants, don't you know that?" Rin asked in amazement, standing still, allowing the hidenka to dry her water soaked body as she looked up into her eyes. "Don't you want the same thing?"

"I am afraid I do not know what Lord Sesshomaru wants," Akatsuki said, buffing the towel briskly through the young girl's wet locks, remembering how Sesshomaru had clearly only wished to fulfill an obligation, something she believed she would have been unable to endure. "Now, I even have doubts about what I truly want," she concluded, believing that what she most feared had fully taken possession of her, these past few days. She truly cared enough about Sesshomaru that after once more experiencing his gentle and considerate care, she was almost certain she would even risk her life and willingly become his obligation if that is all he wished. But alas, despite Sesshomaru's care of her, she knew he had not and would never forgive her. How could she possibly have allowed such a thing? Perhaps she was now turning into her queen mother.

"Well, Iknow that's what Lord Sesshomaru wants," Rin offered boldly with an exuberant smile, studying the hidenka with her lively wide brown eyes.

"You cannot get dressed until your clothes have dried a little more," Akatsuki said, using a towel on her own body now, deciding not to comment on the young girls presumptuous words.

Rin turned and skipped playfully toward a small field of multi-colored flowers near the lakes edge. "Lord Sesshomaru loves you, you know!" she giggled across her shoulder. "I hope you love him too."

"I believe you are mistaken Rin," Akatsuki protested, realizing the conversation had clearly not yet ended, following behind her young charge, as she twisted water from her hair.

"Why? Don't you love Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin stopped, twisted and almost demanded in astonishment. "Rin knows he loves you. Don't you want to marry him?"

"Actually youkai do not get married, that is something only humans do."

"You mean youkai don't get married when they fall in love?"

"Youkai generally become mates," Akatsuki informed her. "But they do not usually have a formal ceremony like humans, if that's what you're asking."

"But that's the same thing as getting married, isn't it?"

"I suppose so," Akatsuki said, resigning herself to the young girl's innocent logic. She wanted to tell her that youkai did not generally fall in love, so their reasons for mating were actually quite different from humans, but that was a conversation she knew she need not have with her. "Besides, I am afraid you are incorrect, Lord Sesshomaru does not love me."

"Yes, he does," Rin insisted stubbornly. "Don't you know that?" she asked as if she thought Akatsuki was being completely silly. "He was so sad when you had your relapse," Rin said offering her rationale. "Lord Sesshomaru doesn't talk much, but he didn't even want to talk at all when that happened, not even to Rin."

"My relapse?" Akatsuki queried.

"Yes, after you joined us that night, you didn't come back and that made Rin very sad," the little girl said as she sauntered over to a field of mixed flowers and knelt in front of them. "Inuyasha told us you had a relapse and Lord Sesshomaru didn't want that to happen again. Because he loves you and he doesn't want anything to happen to you."

"Oh," Akatsuki said, realizing she was likely referring to her recent injury. She doubted though that Sesshomaru was as much sad as he was angry. She had never even considered that her fall would have affected the others in the castle as well. Inuyasha had clearly had to come up with an excuse to cover for her absence, Sesshomaru must now hate her even more than she realized. But he was clearly such an honorable youkai lord that he had spared her life and cared for her anyway.

"Why don't you give him some flowers?" Rin asked holding up a handful of pink and lavender waterfall flowers. "Lord Sesshomaru loves flowers."

"Does he, really?" Akatsuki could not help but consider that odd.

"Yes, Rin always picks flowers for him, because he loves them." She grew quiet for a few minutes, then added. "Inuyasha found land for Lord Sesshomaru's new castle and it has a lot of flowers for Rin to pick. Lord Sesshomaru will always have new flowers from Rin," the young girl said as she smiled up at the hidenka. "Maybe you should pick some too."

"Lord Sesshomaru loves flowers because you give them to him," Akatsuki said, knowing that Sesshomaru would likely not appreciate receiving flowers or anything else from her. "That is your gift for him. I would not wish to impose on your gift to him."

"Impose? What does that mean?" Rin turned a puzzled gaze toward Akatsuki.

"It means picking flowers is for you and Lord Sesshomaru alone. It would not be appropriate for me to give him something that he receives from you."

"But why not? Rin gives him flowers because she loves him. If you give him flowers he will know you love him too. Don't you want him to know that you love him?"

Akatsuki smiled softly. "Unfortunately, things are not that simple between adults, whether they are human or youkai."

"But how will you be mated, if he doesn't know that you love him?"

"Rin," Akatsuki began, knowing she had to tell her eventually any way. "I thank you for your positive thoughts, but Lord Sesshomaru and I will likely never be mated. Besides, I will be returning to my own castle by the end of next week."

"But you can't," Rin protested as she turned toward the hidenka, forgetting all about picking flowers. "Lord Sesshomaru doesn't want you to leave. What would he do? What will Rin do if you leave?"

"I am certain Lord Sesshomaru will do what Lord Sesshomaru does best," Akatsuki said wistfully, thinking about what it might have been like to rule by Sesshomaru's side. Like her mother, she would have been able to use her sensor abilities and would have ensured she gave him the best advice. "He will rule this new land, and you will be very happy here."

"How can Rin be happy if you leave? No one will teach her how to swim," Rin pouted pitifully.

"If you'd like, I could ask Lord Sesshomaru to secure a housemaid who could teach you."

"No thank you, hidenka. Rin does not want a housemaid," she responded rather dejectedly, as she turned to pull more flowers up by their roots.

Akatsuki believed she now knew why Sesshomaru kept her under his care. She was truly so sweet and adorable, it was extremely undesirable to disappoint her. Sesshomaru's heart must be far warmer than she had surmised, but still it was likely not at the level of caring required by a Suzaku Life Sorceress.

Akatsuki also knew for some time now, she had been considering the possibility of pointing out to her lord that Rin might well require a human nanny to teach her things only a human would be able to teach her. But she was not certain if her discussing the young girl at this point would be far too intimate a topic. They had not truly reached that level of familiarity, though she could no longer sense his heart. If Rin was definitely going to stay in the castle, the hidenka believed she would likely need a human to tend to her needs. She may well be wrong, but she doubted Sesshomaru or even young Inuyasha would know enough about humans to teach the young girl what she would undoubtedly need to be taught. Clearly that is why she was only being taught how to kill youkai, was it not?

Her lord now had a number of youkai servants under his service, but Akatsuki had no idea if his plans were to include any humans. "But I will not be leaving for at least a week. We will have plenty of time for me to continue teaching you," Akatsuki insisted, attempting to console her. "And you can always come to my castle if you would like."

Rin did not respond, she had now completely absorbed herself in the task of picking flowers for her dear lord; her little mind just as busily calculating what she could do to prevent the hidenka from leaving them.

Having finalized Rin's swimming lesson for the day, Akatsuki changed clothes and left the young girl with Inuyasha and Jaken to begin her youkai slaying lessons. On her way back to the castle, Akatsuki was stunned when she believed she saw a familiar site approaching the castle walkway. But with his distinctive royal silk scarf draped across his shoulders in that familiar manner, she was positive it could be no one else. "Ōji Akimaru?" she called out in surprise.

The youkai in front of her stopped and turned to face her. "Hidenka Akatsuki," he replied, quickly retracing his steps back in her direction.

"Hidenka Akatsuki," the Ōji repeated, with a brilliant smile once he had approached closer, then locked his arms around her shoulders. "I am pleased to see you up and looking well, I had not expected that," he said as he pushed her back and studied her.

"Oji, you know we should not engage in such embraces if we are not yet mated."

"Soon, soon," he responded dismissively. "Besides, who must we worry about? Can you begrudge an old friend who had been so worried when he heard you were injured?"

"Oh, I am, or I was, but I suppose that even though I'm doing better," Akatsuki knew she could not tell him the truth of her recent injuries. "I still have not yet reached my full strength."

"Your full strength, what is wrong? What happened to you?"

"It is unimportant, I will recover soon enough," Akatsuki said turning away. She could not possibly tell him what she had done; risking her life at their lord's hands. "Have you come to pay your respects?"

"My respects, I came to see you, and here you are."

Puzzled, Akatsuki studied him. "But do you not believe that as the head of the Southern Suzaku clan you should meet your new lord?"

"My lord? Do you mean that heartless inu youkai who cares for no one?"

"If you met with him you may well find that he is not as heartless as you may have been led to believe," Akatsuki quickly protested, but uncertain why.

"If that youkai sticks around long enough, there will be plenty of time for that. But I doubt that very much," Akimaru said with a snide tilt to his lips. "Besides, is it not his responsibility to go out of his way to meet his residents, especially anyone on the level of an ōji; and not mine to go to him?" He said turning and walking away from the castle as if driving home a point. "Your father is still in shock that after all this time he has even deigned to enter the western compound at all, but of course, it was only to report that you had been gravely injured."

"My father?" Akatsuki repeated, reflecting on how her father would have reacted when Sesshomaru had shown up to retrieve her handmaidens. Sesshomaru had never said anything about how that meeting had gone, but she was certain her father would not have welcomed him with opened arms. She had never even considered that. What he must have gone through to ensure her survival. She likely owed him even more than she had previously thought, but she had shown her appreciation by attempting to leave.

"Yes, do not think that I am unaware he had never previously visited the Suzaku clan that has resided in his original land," Akimaru said looking at her across his shoulder. "So I do not believe he will ever come to my compound."

"I see," Akatsuki said, diverting her gaze slightly to look back in the direction of the castle, as she too began to stroll away, but not agreeing in the least with her friend's decision to wait. But he was the head of the Southern Suzaku clan, his decisions were his alone to make. "But you, you're here masking your demonic aura; why?"

"Ahh, that is something I always do when I leave my compound," Ōji Akimaru said, stopping just a bit to allow her to catch up. "I have no desire to engage in battle with lowly Zushi nezumi who may wish to test me."

"Zushi nezumi?"

"You know those minuscule low-level youkai that might wish to test the power of an Ōji because they wish to test their own strength."

"I wish you would not say such things," Akatsuki said with shame and embarrassment. She had never condoned his habit of debasing others, which is one of the reasons she had never truly warmed to him despite his proclamations of love for her. "Because youkai are lower in status than you is no reason to demean them. If they have not injured you or those you love, there is no..."

"It is of no consequence, as are they," Akimaru said, waving his hand dismissively, as he cut her words short.

"But what are you doing here, really?" Akatsuki asked in an attempt to refocus their conversation.

"Actually, I came to take you back with me," Akimaru said, extending his hand. "You can be taken care of in my compound. You know I have a healing sorceress. There is no reason for you to suffer further. Besides, you would be with your own clan."

"Actually, that is not my clan, it is yours."

"But they are Suzaku like you. And once we are mated, they will be your clan as well."

"Ōji Akimaru," Akatsuki called as she stopped short. "I have not agreed to become your mate." She knew if she had succeeded in leaving as she had intended, she might well be his mate now based on her thoughts at that time; but then she might also be dead, Sesshomaru would have undoubtedly taken her life if she had not been injured. But if she had indeed succeeded, she would not now be so desperately in love with a youkai who could not love her in return. It was Sesshomaru's extremely caring acts after he had retrieved her that likely lost her heart forever.

"Perhaps not yet, but what other Suzaku Ōji would you have in mind. Tell me who he is and I will kill him." He declared brazenly, once more finding it impossible to understand why she continuously rejected him. He was certain there were no other Ōji who could offer her what he was capable of offering her, even if they loved her twice as much as he did. He was the current ruler of the southern Suzaku compound. They could immediately rule together. But he also knew he would never stand back and allow another to claim his future Kisaki. "You cannot possibly wish to mate with that inu youkai, could you?"

"Ōji, there is no one else," Akatsuki responded listlessly. Sometimes he wearied her with his constant talk of mating. But she knew that it would likely happen soon, whether she wished it or not. There was truly no one else. She was not as fortunate as her mother had been, and found a Suzaku in another land whom she loved, who also loved her. She would at least require a mate who loved her who could show her passion, if she were to have any chance of living a relatively happy life. And as much as Ōji Akimaru professed his love for her, she was certain she could perhaps eventually learn to love him in return.

"You do not truly wish to remain here do you?" Akimaru asked, eyeing her steadily. "You know what will happen to you if you love him, do you not?"

"I must, I am not yet well."

"As I said, come with me," Ōji Akimaru said extending his hand to her. "You will have no trouble recovering at my compound."

Akatsuki unconsciously reached out but curled her fingers as she reconsidered. "I cannot," she said, realizing she had no desire to leave Sesshomaru just yet. Besides, she had already attempted that, and fate had not been on her side. Perhaps that was a sign that she should not. Perhaps that was a sign that Sesshomaru would... No, she could not consider such a thing.

"Why ever not?"

"You know this castle is now ruled by my lord," Akatsuki began, unwilling to allow his mind to speculate. He could at times be foolish and she did not wish him to challenge Sesshomaru, when he did not even care for her. "I cannot leave until I am well. It would be disrespectful."

"Ahh, so he is imposing those youkai rules of obligation upon you, is he? Does he know nothing? I shall talk to him," the Ōji said spinning and heading back toward the castle.

"No!" Akatsuki called out in an almost panic.

"No?" Ōji Akimaru stopped and angled his head in stunned disbelief.

"I will be well soon," Akatsuki said, hoping to smooth his reaction. "There is no need to confront him."

"Why do you even bother with these outsiders?"

"He is my lord and his brother required by assistance."

"Your lord, your assistance, and now you are injured," Akimaru said with clear disdain. "He could not even protect you. What kind of lord is he?"

"You should not speak in such a manner," Akatsuki looked back toward the castle, then began to move further away. "And it was not his responsibility to protect me. I should have done that myself."

"Done that yourself? Surely, you are not defending that careless inu. Did he not lead that battle into Edera's grounds and were you not injured in the process?"

"My injuries are my fault. I have never relied on anyone's protection," Akatsuki said dismissively. "Besides, he is your lord now as well."

"My lord? That inu youkai? I would think not," Akimaru replied snidely. He was well aware that Princess Edera had been defeated and youkai rules indicated that the one who defeated her would now rule these lands. But he had never acknowledged Princess Edera as his mistress; he would not bow to an inu youkai who had already shown his true nature. "He will be of no more value than Princess Edera."

"Ōji Akimaru I will likely be well enough to leave by the end of next week." Akatsuki said, weary of the conversation. In truth, she did not like hearing him talk of Sesshomaru in such a manner. "Perhaps we can talk when I return to the west."

"Tell me when, and I will come for you."

"That is not necessary."

Having not heard the sound of water splashes in some time, but aware that Akatsuki had not yet returned, Sesshomaru peered through his window only to now discover the source of her delay; some unknown youkai, holding her in a tight embrace. Yes, clearly he was a youkai, but it was odd, he scented nothing from him. There was little wind, and he may well be downhill, but with this Sesshomaru's superior scenting abilities, he should scent something, should he not? He could not even sense his demonic aura. Was he masking his presence, why? If so, then clearly he was Suzaku. But who was he, and what was he to Akatsuki? From that youkai's attentions toward her, there were no doubts what thoughts captivated his mind. Were the same thoughts on Akatsuki's mind as well? Is he the reason she had risked her life at his hands? Not because she could not be with him because he could not love, but because she wished to be with another?

"Why do you not simply heal yourself, then you can be away from him?" Akimaru asked, knowing full well that as a life sorceress, Akatsuki was very powerful and had healing ability.

"I cannot."

"Why ever not? Is something wrong with your abilities as well?" Akimaru inquired with great concern cloaking his jaded vision. "Is it the dark magic in this castle? I know Edera used it extensively. It was extremely thoughtless of that inu to bring you here."

"It is difficult to explain." Actually, she had no desire to. But in truth, it was more that she did not wish to. Sesshomaru had said she could not leave before she was well enough, but now, she was uncertain if she truly did wish to leave him.

Lord Sesshomaru loves you, you know!

If only she could believe that he truly did.

"He is my lord, I would be disrespecting him if I were to leave now after he has cared for me," Akatsuki said, but having no intention of stating that she had already tried to do that. But silently, she knew she must leave. Sesshomaru would never love her, despite what Rin believed or even what she might hope. But she had told him she would not leave until the end of next week, and she would not leave before then, not this time; besides, she wanted to remain by his side for what little time she had remaining.

"It would be dishonorable to do such a thing. Besides, I do not yet know if I yet have the strength."

The youkai lord continued to watch as Akatsuki and that unknown youkai wondered further away from the castle entrance. Where were they going? Was she leaving with him?

How dare he come to his castle uninvited? Should he confront him? Should he make him leave? If he truly intended to possess her, then let him do it in his own place.

Disturbed by Akimaru's callous declarations, Akatsuki could not help but wonder if there would ever be any true value in mating with him as she made her way back to the castle. Her parents expected it, she knew. Her entire clan expected it, but is that truly what she wanted? He was kind to her, but his heart seemed unlike other Suzaku. But then over the years, each clan had followed the lead of their rulers. Clearly before they had died, Ōji Akimaru's parents had evolved differently than hers. He did not care as much about others. But then, it might well be because there was no life sorceress in his clan. He ruled the Southern clan with an iron hand. Akatsuki could not help but believe he wished to be a warrior. Would Sesshomaru rule in the same manner? Should it even matter to her, she would likely not rule at his side; despite what she felt for him. She would likely rule with Ōji Akimaru. Perhaps that is where her focus should lay. If she did become Ōji Akimaru's mate, she would have to show him a kinder way to rule over his Suzaku clan members. Though they were not truly her clan, they were her kinsmen.

"Akatsuki," Sesshomaru called as she walked past him, seemingly preoccupied in thought. Was her mind so consumed with thoughts of that youkai she had recently been with, that she neither saw nor sensed his presence?

Startled by Sesshomaru's unexpected appearance when she entered, Akatsuki practically froze where she stood. She had not even noticed him standing near the corner of the entranceway. "Ses-sho-maru," she called spinning, attempting to settle her nerves.

"I see you had a visitor," the youkai lord said folding his arms into the sleeves of his haori.

Akatsuki had not intended to mention anything about the Ōji. What benefit would there be to do such a thing, since he did not wish to meet his new lord. But clearly, Sesshomaru already knew. Should she tell him that his prior reputation had spread to these lands as well? "Yes, he is an old friend, Ōji Akimaru," Akatsuki barely managed to utter. With his arms folded so sternly across his chest like that, she knew Sesshomaru had made up his mind about something. She could not deny that when he stood before her like that, he truly frightened her.

"Why did he come here?"

"I..." she began uncertainly. "I know I should have introduced him," Akatsuki said unsteadily. "But... but I am afraid he had no interest at this time," she said, displeased as she recalled Akimaru's actual words. "He did say there was plenty of time for that," she hoped that at least sounded more promising. "So I am certain you will meet shortly."

"Why was he here if not to extend greetings to his lord?" Sesshomaru asked impatiently. Had that youkai come to profess his love for her? Is that why she would not divulge more about his intent?

"He...," Akatsuki found it difficult to meet Sesshomaru's eyes. "He heard that I was here and had been injured. He came to see if I wished to return to his castle and recover there."

"Back to his castle? So you are leaving?" Sesshomaru asked, his gaze narrowing, his tone tensing, as something tightened in the pit of his stomach.

"Uh, no. Not unless you wish me to," Akatsuki said, looking up briefly, then lowering her gaze in embarrassment as her thoughts were invaded by memories of her previous attempt to leave. She could not bear to look at him, knowing full well such thoughts likely invaded his mind as well. "I had not intended to leave until I was fully recovered."

"That is wise," Sesshomaru said, berating himself mentally for not saying something more definitive. "I do not wish you to leave before you are well," he added, knowing that was not any better. It had been his intent to let her know that she was special to him. But how could he, without knowing the truth of that youkai who seemed to lay claim to her.

But the youkai lord was not naïve. He knew from her evasive eye maneuvers that there was something about this Akimaru that Akatsuki was deliberately concealing from him. What was it? Who was he? What did he mean to her? From what he had seen, there was no mistaking that youkai's intended objectives. But did it matter if she told him that or not? No, he may well care and wish not to injure her, but he would not allow her to dishonor him further. She had already rejected his protection, if it was truly her preference to mate with this Akimaru and not him, was there anything he could do to stop her? Should he even wish to?

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A/N: Rin is so sweet, with her innocent logic, she believes there should be no such thing as secrets and actually tells the hidenka that she believed Sesshomaru loved her. Will this change anything between them?

Just when Sesshomaru decided he would consider asking Akatsuki to stay with him, up comes another character. I guess they just can't be together.

Ahh, another oc - Ōji Akimaru - I know he did not seem particularly nice, or loving of Sesshomaru, but he certainly seems to care about the hidenka. Isn't he the person she was trying to get to when she fell? But I thought she said she didn't love him, does she?

Akatsuki - (Aurora/Dawn)
chichi-ue - (father)
daiyoukai - (great demon lord)
hidenka - (princess)
inu youkai – (dog demon)
Kisaki - (Queen)

tenugui - Fast drying and ultra slim Japanese towel (From the Edo period on it became an indispensable utensil for everyday life)
Ōji - (prince)
Zushi nezumi - (Rat yōkai-these were the rats released from the shrine box by Hakudoushi in episode 159, but this is also a term Ōji Akimaru calls all low level youkai he feels are beneath him and that he does not wish to be bothered with)